Book Jacket

 

rank 570 (-34)
word count 80094
date submitted 17.08.2009
date updated 20.01.2010
genres: Thriller
classification: moderate
complete

THE SATELLITE AGENT

Eric Vincent

 

When a literary agent receives an encrypted book proposal from a notorious assassin, she finds herself trapped in the violent grip of a global conspiracy.

 

In 2005 in a remote region of Nepal, Victoria Penrose, a satellite agent for a venerable New York City literary firm, witnesses the assassination of a famous Buddhist monk.

In Philadelphia exactly four years later, she responds to an encrypted book proposal from a retired intelligence operative code-named Galileo, and immediately finds herself trapped in the violent grip of a global conspiracy which pursues her to London, Berlin, Istanbul, and finally back to Nepal, where at the scene of the 2005 crime she unravels the conspiracy - and turns the tables on it.

As Victoria finds herself caught in a twilight realm between abusers of official authority and those who risk everything to stand up to them, THE SATELLITE AGENT emerges as a paean to the enduring power of friendship and love in a treacherous and cold-blooded world.

Although the novel is written with the entertaining flair of a 007-style global chase, beneath its sleek surface lurks a serious exposition on the moral ambiguities of government actions in the war on terror.

 
 

tags

art, assassin, cia, espionage, fsb, global conspiracy, music, politics, travel

on 5 bookshelves

on 11 watchlists

77 comments

 

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    Nepal, May 1st, 2005

 

    Victoria’s tears burned a stinging chill on her face, but at the clip she and Tien Tzien were moving, it would be unsafe to take a hand from the reins to wipe at them. Her straw-blonde hair cascading behind her, she pursued Tien as he galloped out ahead. Tien’s leathery hands whipped his reins as he guided Victoria, now along a narrow brink cut into the curving flank of a cliffside. Far below, a patchwork mosaic of barley fields shimmered under the glare of a sky so infinite, she swooned with vertigo, as if she were at the very cusp of the Earth, and prone to slip off into outer space at the slightest pitch of the horizon’s azimuth. This heart-rending retreat, on these sinewy Marwari horses and along these soaring trans-Himalayan paths, was required in the aftermath of Victoria’s witnessing the assassination of Sher Khan.

    Sher Khan. It was thought to be his real name, and he was believed to be Pakistani, but nobody knew for sure, not even he. Since being orphaned as an infant in a Buddhist monastery in this remote region of Nepal called Qo Nontoang, Sher Khan had never traveled abroad. A sprawling matrix of rural villages nested in the Himalayan mountain range, Qo Nontoang has been virtually untouched since the fifteenth century, and at 14,000 feet above sea level, is to this day accessible only by horseback. Disciples traveled to Sher Khan in pilgrimage, their voyage a test of their authenticity. Spurred by his burgeoning fame, his doctrine of Zen simplicity disseminated via written manifestos, audio interviews, and digital video clips taken away and posted on the web, on blogs, and on YouTube.

    Victoria Penrose had arrived at Qo Nontoang oblivious to Sher Khan’s mystic celebrity. It was the music which drew Victoria to this outer reach: the exotic chanting of these rustic Buddhist monks, monks like Tien Tzien, the bearish guide tasked with escorting her here, who was now spiriting her away in a near-panic.

    Her week at the monastery had gone fine until the end. The monks humored her with enthusiasm as she captured their alien vocal beauty on her flash recorder. The cult of Sher Khan’s charisma hummed safe in the background, under the vigilant eye of that Chinese colonel, Ying, and her squad of khaki-clad guards.

    With Sunday morning came the outdoor ceremony, culminating with Sher Khan’s arms outstretched, early sun gracing his youthful visage, like Jesus, she thought. Just then, his head pitched back, his chest ruptured, and Sher Khan crumpled to the ground like a puppet whose master had vanished.

    The Chinese colonel, Ying - a girl, really, with her athletic physique and pixie haircut - glared at Victoria as if she were somehow responsible. This was pointed out to Victoria later, after Ying and her squad grew frustrated from shouting into two-way radios which responded with silence, and mounted their horses, charging off toward the ridge.

    The ridge. About a thousand yards out in the distance, Victoria had been only vaguely aware of it. She had lunged at Sher Khan, yanking off her headscarf and trying to tend with it to his bullet wounds, only to find herself cradling his lifeless head in her hands. She was glancing about in a state of shock when Tien Tzien said to her, “You should go.”

    Victoria stood, gripping the blood-soaked headscarf, watching the billowing trail of dust Ying and her equine squad kicked up as they sped toward the ridge. She gazed around in elliptical blind stares, as if it were all a nightmare to endure before waking. Tien broke her spell by persisting, “I’ve seen that look Colonel Ying set upon you. You should go. I will take you. Now.”

    Now, racing away from Qo Nontoang, she noticed him glance back to check that she was still with him, then swivel his head forward again, now hurtling along the dusty Khali Gandaki river valley, Victoria following close in his stead, her tears still streaming.

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Cellardoor wrote 172 days ago

Eric,

I think this will go down a storm here. Its not often you come across a fast-paced thriller which is also beautifully written. Your prose is so lovely, some really fantastic visuals and imagery throughout. I like the short chapter lengths. I really like the premise of this, love anything that has a plot encompassing global conspiracy :)

Your writing is superior to my own so I cannot critique. As a reader, I really enjoyed this. It promises to be a compelling read right until the end, the travel aspect is a plus. Your dialogue rings true, your character names are great and standout - the characterization is good so far. An engaging read, will return for more.

Backed for now to help your books rank! I'll recommend this to a few authonomites.

Melanie~LORE~

JohnRL1029 wrote 162 days ago

This is one helluva thriller. Pure adrenaline. Flesh and blood characters with realistic, powerful dialogue. This has MOVIE written al over it. Shelved.

Jennifer C. Braun wrote 167 days ago

Eric – I read your book earlier and now I am back to leave a little comment. I think you are headed for the top in the “thriller” genre. The Satellite Agent is like a hybrid vehicle, powering forward on a combustion of suspense, abductions and thrills. Your narrative is well written – and will make a reader’s blood race and heart pound. I enjoyed it. Well done.
Jennifer Braun
(Shoondor)

PD Allen wrote 167 days ago

Wow! This has all the elements of a very gripping thriller.

Your prose is rock solid. The opening scene in Nepal plunges the reader fully into this exotic, distant world. From the opening paragraph, I was concerned for the main character. And then, just as the reader gets a sense of what is going on, you switch scenes to the agent in Philadelphia. The contrast could not be more absolute.

In this short chapter, you breath life into the three-dimensional character of Victoria. She seems to lead a very cultured and charming life. And the reader knows that all too soon she will be fighting for her life, caught up in something massive and sinister.

My hats off to you. I am sure this book will rise quickly through the ranks.

Shelved now.

PD Allen ~Murderer's Sky (Book 1 of Under Shattered Skies)

sperber1 wrote 169 days ago

You have a talent for combining strong characters with strong narrative, and if that is not the recipe for a successful suspense thriller, I don't know what is. I was intrigued in the first chapter when the spiritual leader is killed and his woman seems to incorrectly blame Victoria. But you really got me in chapter 2 when she found the note taped on her refrigerator door. Now I am wondering in what "encrypted fashion" the assassin is going to make contact with her. At the same time, thanks to your rich characterization, I have come to like Victoria -- she is vulnerable, can be tough and is sympathetic, all rolled into one -- and Tristan is starting to grow on me, too. If I bought this book in a bookstore (and I have little doubt it will get there), it would not be one of those books I put down and forget to resume. It would be a page-turner, because it is already starting out that way, that I would be compelled to return to again and again. Well done. Shelved.

paxie wrote 17 days ago

Eric
Right here's the truth.....A literary agent trapped anywhere, anytime appeals to me.....So backing your pitch.... A fabulous premise....

I switch from past to present tense....I notice you do....I cant help it, to me, I'm writing my take on my characters reflective thought...I write as I imagine they would think......You do it ....

Best of luck with this....

Shelved....

Jupiter Echoes wrote 20 days ago

BACKED

I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work.

Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters.

So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk.


There you are.

BACKED
Hope you reciprocate.

Rebakai wrote 30 days ago

Hi Eric.

I love "Far below, a patchwork mosaic of barley fields shimmered under the glare of a sky so infinite, she swooned with vertigo, as if she were at the very cusp of the Earth, and prone to slip off into outer space at the slightest pitch of the horizon's azimuth." It's a bit long, but it's beautiful, and the best writing, in my opinion, uses both long, short and medium length sentences for the best flow.

I almost think the revelation that Victoria has witnessed the assassination of Sher Khan would have more oomph if it were its very own paragraph.

I confess it's a bit jarring to me (I may be alone in this) to have you go from past tense into present so abruptly and then back again.

The sentence beginning "Spurred by his burgeoning fame," I had to read several times. I'm still not sure I've figured this out. It seems to be a fragmented sentence and seems to be missing something. Maybe an "is" or a "was" right before disseminated?

I had no intention of harping on about grammar. Sorry, it all just popped out!

I like chapter one best where we go back into Victoria's viewpoint and she actually sees the killing, and tries to help, then is forced to run away for her life. That's good!

Wow, how cool! I love that letter taped to the fridge. If that doesn't rouse Victoria's curiosity, nothing could.

Chapter two gets the thumbs up. It flows well and gets us closer to Victoria.

Chapter three is fantastic. Period.

The only thing that bothered me with chapter 4 was her drinking a tall glass of milk after going to a club with alcohol. Can there be anything worse in the world than milk after alcohol? I realize you never said that Victoria had any alcohol at the restaurant, but still. Of course, I should confess I hate milk anyway. The emerged message from Galileo is great! The plot is thickening...

Chapter 5 a winner. This is really good, Eric.

"The mother of love imitates the shape of Cynthia." Hmmnmmm.... by Galileo Galilei. Thank goodness for google.

I really must stop reading now: I have so many things to do. but how can I stop there?

Wouldn't her fingerprints be on the switchblade she's been told to leave?

I love that part about whittling sticks.

Well, I must go do some other things now, but I will keep this in my watchlist and come back to read when I get free time. It's wonderful! Happily shelved in the meantime. Good luck, Reb

I do believe you've developed the perfect way to acquire an agent, Eric. I may have to try it. :-)

Louise Galvin wrote 48 days ago

I like the teasing timelessness of that first paragraph. We could be millennia back. Then, suddenly, the present rushes in with blogs and manifestos. The style of your description appeals to me. I particularly liked the Sunday morning paragraph – the masterless puppet crumpling.

This is compelling and attractively written. I’m often a bit bored by the packed-in action for action’s sake of thrillers, but I am enjoying the colourful company of your cast of characters. I don’t know why this isn’t higher in the rankings? It’s on my shelf (finally), anyway.

gillyflower wrote 53 days ago

A riveting plot with exciting developments. I love the idea of the code message. (It reminds me of the code in Have His Carcase by Dorothy Sayers.) Codes, puzzles, mysteries, they're all great, and a real hook for this reader, at least. Victoria is a very interesting character, easy to relate to. Her friendship with Tristan is a very pleasant feature of the book, and their conversation is full of funny, enjoyable things. You tell us the book is written in James Bond style, and it certainly has the wit, the slickness and the speed. Your start, with Victoria galloping for her life along a dizzy narrow mountain path in the heights of the Himalayas, is amazing and very effectively depicted. You have a gift of building up excitement, and this, added to your three dimensional characters, makes for a great book. The serious nature of your plot, beneath the wit and excitement, makes the book into something even more special. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 70 days ago

Eric
This is full of excitement from the start - Victoria is a well-drawn character, and you have given her a thrilling hero's journey. You are a superbly talented writer, and I can see this getting published.
Frank

happypetronella wrote 90 days ago

Took me a while to read the whole thing. This is one great thriller and I enjoyed every moment of the read. Sorry I don't have more to say than... shelved.

Ian Mayfield wrote 110 days ago

A cracking good spy thriller. In the spirit of John Le Carré but with stuff actually going on! ;-) This is one I'll be reading all the way through, but I've already seen enough to back it.

Good characterization, a resourceful heroine in Victoria and an interesting and oddball anti-hero in Galileo. I'm also starting to very much like the Homeland Security duo, Jones and Ortiz, and their banter.

I do think you need to scale back on the cheesy Cockney dialect, though - you're wandering into some serious Dick Van Dyke danger territory here. If you like I'll go through it and flag the worst infringements, but the most glaring one is that Londoners do not say 'fook' - that's northern English. In the London accent it's a ringing and very obvious 'fuck'! :-)

One other mistake: the PHX airport code actually belongs to Phoenix - Philadelphia's is PDL.

Looking forward to reading the rest!

CDV wrote 116 days ago

The cover caught my eye. The mixture of primitive--a lady bareback riding on a white horse, and futuristic--the satellite in the sky was too intriguing to pass up. The pitch enticed me to go on and give it a read. You do a fine job of pulling me into the scene with your vivid descriptions. The pace is fast. The dialogue believable. There's a nice flow to your writing as well. Shelved.

Mary McGuire wrote 125 days ago

Ah fine stuff, a bit of action to pull us in and then back to the beginning. I really enjoyed the way your characters interact with each other, the conversations felt very natural and I liked the whole informal ambience of the second excerpt. Sorry not to have read more. Would definitely read on if I found this in a store or a library so, on that account, shelved.

Cheers

Mary Mc
Few are Chosen - comic fantasy

andyroo wrote 130 days ago

Very well written, excellent plot. Feels vivid, cinematic. I particularly enjoy how you approach dialogue, it feels natural and flows well without disturbance. I read in through, the words rushing passed with every bit as much professionalism as any published book I've read before.

Andrew

Maria Luisa Lang wrote 135 days ago

Dear Eric, I’m enjoying this immensely, but that may be because I’m very biased in its favor: I like a spy thriller with a highly compelling story, a large cast of memorable characters and a wide variety of fascinating settings, plus dialogue and description that are fast and vivid, such welcome staples as the CIA and a global conspiracy, and wholly surprising elements that educate me about intriguing professions and activities.

I also like original titles that suggest more than they state: you explain what a satellite agent in the publishing world, but the term also applies to Victoria’s role in the realm of espionage. And I’m very happy to be in her company: a female James Bond or, better, Harry Palmer, who’s also an intelligent, successful career woman, a musician and a practitioner of yoga--someone whom your female readers will admire and identify with, and whom your male readers will admire in another sense and see as the ideal partner.

Brilliant entertainment--and it certainly will be an enormous success, first as a book, then as a film. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

Elinor Evans wrote 140 days ago

Hello! I thought I had read your book but maybe I 've just been gazing at your avatar... I started reading and I liked the description at the beginning and then the way it develops. I decided to read chapters1, 5 and 10 just to get a flavour of your writing. You certainly write convincingly and Victoria seems pretty feisty for an MC which is a winner!
Backed
Elinor
In it for the Holidays

Bradley Wind wrote 147 days ago

Eric
Notes on tSA
really dig that opener.
wondering where the loft is ...off of Market or more towards Old City or near Plays & Players theater...
and then Monk's is mentioned so you must know the area also.
and as I look at your avi I wonder if I didn't meet you at the Reject Filmfest back in the late 90s?
hm.
Well, this is solid work here.
love the use of the steganography
Best of luck w this.
-=Bradley

John Harold McCoy wrote 148 days ago

Hi, Eric. I was looking at the new book list and this looked interesting. I've seen you in the forums and was surprised to see you were the author since I had picked at random. Anyway, looks like a good read. A few comment as I go along.
'This heart-rending retreat, on these sinewy Marwari horses and along these treacherous trans-Himalayan paths, was required in the aftermath of Victoria’s witnessing the assassination of Sher Khan.' - I didn't feel like 'heart-rending' fit well in this idea and I thought something more, well, I guess 'colorful' (as good a word as any) would be better that 'required.'
'...I will take you. Now' - Now, racing away...' - Might wanna think about those two 'nows.'
Really good work on that first chapter. Good first few paragraphs, then some well done descriptions and background, and back to the action. Nice style.
'...sampler which triggered found sounds...' - not sure about 'found sounds.'
Excellent dialog in chapter 2. Good job with Tristan's story. Good chapter all around.
I like the start of chapter 3. Bringing new characters with a different story into it. Pollack's personality, shown right off the bat, was a welcome contrast.
I think I'd lose the 'jpeg.' ...even in this day and age there are scads of people who don't know what it is... or maybe not. Course that's just my nitpicky opinion. Just ignore me...hehe.
Chapter 3 introduces a whole new slant and story direction. Stimulates the reader, at least it did me.
Dialog is good, believable and easy to follow. I think your style is great, the pitch promises a good story, and you draw the reader along beautifully.
On my shelf. Wish you the best of luck.

Fred Le Grand wrote 150 days ago

Well this is an exciting fluidread.
The pace is excellent and the story-line intriguing.
You handle dialogue well.
One does have to suspend belief a bit but hell what do you read fiction for anyway if you want factual stuff read history books!
I like this, it lives up to the pitch and draws you in quick.
There is a clumsy sentence in ch 1 to do with the bleeding and the tending with the handkerchief (I'm on ch 3 so can't go back).
No other nit-picks.
Shelved,
Best,
Fred

Keefieboy wrote 150 days ago

Eric - gripping, fast-paced, well-written work. A real page-turner. Only pne quibble, in chapter 4 'Discerning it wasn't...' jars a bit - I suggest 'Seeing it wasn't'.
Shelved.

Freeman wrote 152 days ago

You have a great opening paragraph which is brought to a halt by the second one but after that the pace is good and the content interesting. The writing is good and draws the reader along as it builds the characters. I enjoyed what I read and could start to feel the menace very early on, a good sign in a thriller. I am happy to back this.

Tony

Ron A Sewell wrote 155 days ago

Hi Eric,

Nice start – why is she crying?

This is a great opening chapter full of mystery and excitement.

The building blocks of chapter two are well set in cement. Your characters are alive and the note on the fridge, icing on the cake. Already you have set an intriguing scene.

Pollack and SERE training. I’m an idiot what is SERE?

This is an interesting chapter. Who or what is Pollack and what is he involved with? She’s the bait for what? You certainly know how to make the reader want more.

I love bifurcated plots. Your introduction of Galileo’s message is marvellous. You must know a lot about computer graphics.

I do not have to read more of this now to say this is very good it drags me in and almost forces me to read more. I will read your entire novel but at my own pace and time.

Congratulations.

Pride of place on my shelf.

Ron S

You Can’t Hide Forever.

Dania wrote 159 days ago

I found the opening chapter very powerful and from the pitch and the 3 chapter’s I’ve read, you’ve got a very compelling plot.
Glad to give it a spin on my shelf :)

Suggestions:
The writing is great, but if I had to nit pick I’d say that you sometimes go on “tell” mode, especially at the start of the paragraphs. Thought I’d flag that because we’re told agents and publishers don’t like.
Also, I found that things slowed down a little in chapter 2. It’s probably a personal taste thing but I felt the opening had to be followed with faster action.

Hope you don’t mind me making these comments. Wish you the best of luck with it,
Dania.

agaian wrote 159 days ago

Hi Eric

A powerful beginning, to what promises to be a an exciting story. I was, though, jolted out of the drama a couple of times with some of the phrasing. The second chapter , however,seemed tighter and I continued to want to read on to learn some of the answers to the questions the story was already raisng...

I'm more than happy to Shelve this for a period.

Anthony
('Houses of Sand')

JohnRL1029 wrote 162 days ago

This is one helluva thriller. Pure adrenaline. Flesh and blood characters with realistic, powerful dialogue. This has MOVIE written al over it. Shelved.

cutley wrote 162 days ago

This is a jolly good idea. It's a story one has to go on reading. I wonder, bearing in mind one has to try to grip the reader in the bookshop who scans the first page, whether it might not be an idea to go straight into the odd letter. But I'm probably wrong.

Good luck.

Charles

Kenneth Rogers Jr. wrote 162 days ago

Very nice Eric. You have the suspense thriller part of the story down. You keep adding questions that the reader has no choice but to keep reading to find the answers to. I especially love it when two different worlds collide to create a mix that no one expected, but everyone loves. Very nicely done. Shelved.
Love and Fear: The Diary of Oliver Lee
Kenny

shewritesromance wrote 163 days ago

This is far to flowery for my tastes, but I can definitely see the allure of the story. I would suggest, though, cutting back on some of the poetry and adding more depth to both your characters and your plot. Just my opinion, though. As I reader, all of the poetic descriptions did was take me out of the story. It is a good story, though. I think you have a lot of potential as a writer.

Feel free to disregard any and all that I have said. What do I know? It is just my humble opinion.

Debbie wrote 163 days ago

Love the jacket cover, but I’m afraid the pitch confused me. Now that may be me, as whenever I see the word “spy” my brain shuts down. Not that I don’t like spy stories – I’m just no good at anything which has multi-complex-subplots. I have to get my husband to explain spy films to me as I get lost after ten minutes trying to work out who’s on which side!

But enough rambling. Onto the story. A nit pick, but first line – it’s “blonde” with the “e” if it’s attributed to a female. “Reflective rivulets” – as in mirrors, or in quiet contemplation reflection? Not the latter as they are racing on horseback, so must be former – so what are they reflecting? Sky? Sorry – but it’s an odd line and I’m trying to see what you are actually saying. Your first couple of paras seem a bit overwritten , IMO, which is a shame as once I got past them, I got into the story easily and found it much tighter and sharper. Like the puppet analogy – very clever. Chapter 2 had me hooked and by chapter 3 you are well into your stride with excellent dialogue and good tension building.

Happy to shelve this. Great writing, but suggest you have another look at your opening?

Cully wrote 164 days ago

The Satellite Agent


I think there's a little too much description in Chapter 1:
"reflective rivulets"
"sinewy black"
"cruel cold"
"flowing crimson"
etc.

It's a little distracting and flowery for me.

"bubble of mental trauma-induced hypnosis" is a bit much to grasp.

Need a hook to keep the reader going at the end of Chapter 1.

I'll keep reading, but so far from chapter 1 (and half of chapter 2) I can feel a story brewing, but get distracted by the emphasis on description (sipping a pint of Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA), etc. Why not, "sipping a pint of Dogfish"? If these details will mean something later, that's one thing, but if not it becomes a little distracting.

Hope that helps...but will try to provide more substantial criticism soon.

Cully

Urania wrote 165 days ago

Hi Eric, this has all the makings of a great thriller. Pacey, well-written, great premise and pitch. Personally I'd start with the second chapter. IMHO I think there's so many books out there starting with a blood and guts scene prologue thing, and it might make an ed/agent sit up if one started with normality. Shelved.

msm0202 wrote 165 days ago

Eric,
This is the kind of book I would buy. Your premise interests me, and your writing is a pleasure to read. The first chapter is gripping with the death of Sher Khan, but for me this truly takes off when Victoria receives the mysterious email from Galileo. Everything about it seems realistic, including the fact the real message is encrypted into a jpeg image.

I read the first four chapters, more than enough to know this is a compelling thriller. My kind of book.
Shelved.
Mark

Venusu wrote 166 days ago

beautifully written, intriguing characters, exotic setting... ingredients all here for a thriller of a book!
V
Hawaiian Orchid

EdenTyler wrote 166 days ago

I read this a couple days ago and am back to comment after a shelving.
There's no denying you're a great writer -- your descriptions are grand and it's easy to picture what's going on. This isn't something I'd personally pick up as the descriptions were too much for me for a thriller. I expected it to be a little more fast-paced... But I'm just one lone reader.
I can honestly see a huge place in the market for this! The story is good and writing skills are key. I really can't fault it in any way -- just that it's not my style. My fault completely -- not yours!!
Already shelved on merit.
Good luck with this. Not that you need it... =)

-Eden / The Abandoned Edge of Avalon

Christopher Couture wrote 166 days ago

This is brilliant!

Keep up the good work.

Christopher Couture
(Life In Pink & Superhated)

Marko wrote 166 days ago

This looks interesting, Eric - AND you list 'The Razor's Edge' amongst your favourite books.

As one Somerset Maugham admirer to another - Backed.

Marko (Brief Encounters)

Phil Rowan wrote 166 days ago

An A1 pitch, Eric with an exciting premise and your writing zooms along. I love the way you've done The Satellite Agent and I think Victoria is an empathetic MC. I have more to read this evening, but for now I'm backing you with pleasure and wishing you well. Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

JohnnySix wrote 166 days ago

Wow. The first chapter was outstanding, with great post-action (just after the assassination). You set the scene perfectly -- I could see Ying glaring across the monestary, the workers screaming into their walkie-talkies and finally giving up.

Then, in the second chapter, you show us that you're equally good at characterization and dialogue. That's as far as I've gotten so far, but I'm shelving this already. Great stuff.

tambo wrote 166 days ago

Shelved! This would make a fantastic film too!!
Tam

Andrew W. wrote 167 days ago

The Satellite Agent

Hi Eric, Great start and those are so difficult, particular in thrillers. But you plunge us into the story quite literally with the dash on horseback. Ch2 is more sedate, but necessarily so in the opening, you are able to construct for us an excellently detailed view of Victoria's character. There is so much here, not simply a good story, but the accomplished accroutements of a practiced writer, the details about the music, the cultural life generally that she enjoys. Very well written and should do well, best wishes and good luck - Andrew W.

(Sanctuary's Loss)

Jennifer C. Braun wrote 167 days ago

Eric – I read your book earlier and now I am back to leave a little comment. I think you are headed for the top in the “thriller” genre. The Satellite Agent is like a hybrid vehicle, powering forward on a combustion of suspense, abductions and thrills. Your narrative is well written – and will make a reader’s blood race and heart pound. I enjoyed it. Well done.
Jennifer Braun
(Shoondor)

PD Allen wrote 167 days ago

Wow! This has all the elements of a very gripping thriller.

Your prose is rock solid. The opening scene in Nepal plunges the reader fully into this exotic, distant world. From the opening paragraph, I was concerned for the main character. And then, just as the reader gets a sense of what is going on, you switch scenes to the agent in Philadelphia. The contrast could not be more absolute.

In this short chapter, you breath life into the three-dimensional character of Victoria. She seems to lead a very cultured and charming life. And the reader knows that all too soon she will be fighting for her life, caught up in something massive and sinister.

My hats off to you. I am sure this book will rise quickly through the ranks.

Shelved now.

PD Allen ~Murderer's Sky (Book 1 of Under Shattered Skies)

Richard P-S wrote 167 days ago

I'd buy this book after the first chapter, to be honest. There's a buzz about this from the beginning, but an undertone of sensitivity which always gives superior thrillers the edge, because it makes them parts of that greater jigsaw puzzle that life is. You probably need to give this a final edit, but it's good.

I always have reservations about American spellings, but the quality of the writing erases those almost instantly.

Shelved.

R

John Booth wrote 168 days ago

Hi Eric,
Haven't read a really good spy thriller on here for ages. This is great - Shelved.

You handle characters and dialogue really well but I was a little concerned by the info dumps in the prologue. The prologue is difficult enough to follow with unfamiliar names and its situation. Since this is the first thing and agent or publisher would read I would suggest you tighten it up. Remove any background information that is unnecessary and make it more dynamic. Perhaps start with the death, rather than describe it as a past event. The later chapters are fine, though you are telegraphing the plot with the CIA chapter. I always think less is more at the beginning of a story. You might consider removing information there as well, leave it unclear what positions these people hold.

Hope that helps

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Eric Vincent wrote 168 days ago

Hey Eric.Enjoying your book. Shelved.
very different from the typical spy thriller I've seen.
Victoria is a great heroine, and the spy agencies are well shown up.
Suggstions.
I havent read it all but...
I would suggest making Victoria a bit more fallible and thus lovable-
What about Galileo? Is that the twist'? Is he a sympathetic old fart who was only doing his job?

Lots of luck with this. It's clear you're an experienced and original novelist
cheers............Mikey



Mike, for you, I'm gonna post the rest of the novel - the whole damn thing right to the end. For you, and everyone else who has made me feel good about having wrote this thing by leaving such lovely comments such as yours. You rock.
-E

mikegilli wrote 168 days ago

Hey Eric.Enjoying your book. Shelved.
very different from the typical spy thriller I've seen.
Victoria is a great heroine, and the spy agencies are well shown up.
Suggstions.
I havent read it all but...
I would suggest making Victoria a bit more fallible and thus lovable-
What about Galileo? Is that the twist'? Is he a sympathetic old fart who was only doing his job?

Lots of luck with this. It's clear you're an experienced and original novelist
cheers............Mikey

KJKron wrote 168 days ago

You start us off with some interesting mysteries - why is Victoria crying? Why is Tien Tzien racing away from her? Who is Sher Kahn? Is he authentic? And what happened to him? Is Victoria to blame? That propelled me to the second chapter where there are other mysteries - who sent her the note with the "grub money"? And as Tristam tells the story, we realize that Victoria can be a badass. Not to mention a hard worker as she double dips - composing and agenting - but, I assume, time consuming. Well done. Shelved.

Cas P wrote 168 days ago

Hi Eric.
Just read your first two chapters and here are some thoughts for you.
I really like the premise, that's what attracted me in the first place. And ch 1 was everything I thought it should be, atmospheric, descriptive, informative and hooking.
Ch 2, though, IMO, failed to live up to the first. It started out well but then seemed to fizzle out a bit when Victoria and Tristan were at the restaurant. Looking back, the only obviously relevant bit of info in ch 2 was the contents of the letter. Of course, I might have missed something and this is only my opinion, but where ch 1 grabbed me and I just had to read on, ch 2 left me feeling a bit flat.
I also think your style is just a touch flowery. You have some really nice descriptive bits but some are overdone. Do you need, I wonder, such info as the size of Victoria's trash bag, or the full name of the beer she was drinking? Mainly I liked the style but I do think it could be a tad toned down.
In ch 1, you describe barley fields as 'green and lavender'. Now I know they're green before they ripen but lavender?
'flash recorder...flash of charisma.. Forgive me if you meant this repetition deliberately, to me it jarred a bit.
'puppet who's master...should be *whose*.
I think you have the makings of a great book here, but for me the issues of overdescription and the pace of ch 2 need addressing.
I wish you all the best,
Cas.
KING'S ENVOY.

Joanna Stephen-Ward wrote 169 days ago

Eric,

This is excellent. You pitch is strong and pulls the reader right in. Good cover too. On my watch list till I make room on my shelf.

Joanna

sperber1 wrote 169 days ago

You have a talent for combining strong characters with strong narrative, and if that is not the recipe for a successful suspense thriller, I don't know what is. I was intrigued in the first chapter when the spiritual leader is killed and his woman seems to incorrectly blame Victoria. But you really got me in chapter 2 when she found the note taped on her refrigerator door. Now I am wondering in what "encrypted fashion" the assassin is going to make contact with her. At the same time, thanks to your rich characterization, I have come to like Victoria -- she is vulnerable, can be tough and is sympathetic, all rolled into one -- and Tristan is starting to grow on me, too. If I bought this book in a bookstore (and I have little doubt it will get there), it would not be one of those books I put down and forget to resume. It would be a page-turner, because it is already starting out that way, that I would be compelled to return to again and again. Well done. Shelved.

Sangay Glass wrote 169 days ago

This certainly has a little bit of everything. By the end of the second chapter is when I really started getting into it. I found the early parts too busy and I either missed things or was overrun buy intros to lots of characters and descriptions at once. But once things quieted down after the LR concert I warmed to the characters, even Gaile.

You have strong dialog, and I wondered why there was little until the end of Chapter 2. Since this is your strength, I would use asap to lure the reader in. I wasn't really drawn by the opening. And didn't understand what happened to the guy. He dropped and there was blood. What happened?

I wonder if this can also fit under chick lit, since Vicky seems so stylish and perfect. Not my kinda gal, but chicks love em as much as chocolate. That and exotic locals and mysterious strangers. Driven by stretch limos, and lunching by lacquer...ouch I just gagged. But there is an audience for this. I hope they find you:)

I shall put this on my shelf because I like Tris...he i can relate to:)

Sangay Glass
Kate, Blue Jeans, and a Single Shot
Genni's Box

setondan wrote 170 days ago

A satellaite agent. Now that sounds very interestic. I loved your pitch and book cover, so that got me hooked. Assassins, the CIA and espionage, gobal conspiracy and politics - all great elemetns of a classic thriller. I have read books like this over the years, and enjoyed them so well. From Robert Ludlum to John Le Carre. And you have lived up to my hopes and expectations. It is every bit the page turner of a great thriller. Your writing is masterful, the plot and characterization exhilitrating. No wonder you are skyrocketng up the ranking charts!. Before too long I excpect you will make it the Ed Desk. I am sure soon after you have completed the book it will be published. So I am very happy to back and shelve and spin a promising book like this.

demolinero wrote 170 days ago

Hi Eric - I love your premise - you're combining the sophisticated worlds of music and art with the darker, edgier world of undercover politics and ruthless assassins. Definitely a winner.

Your writing is excellent, but I do have one major problem. It's not just you - many other writers fall into the same trap, which is over-egging the physical descriptions of their main characters and designer name-dropping. The utterly beautiful (or handsome), sexy, daring, brave and highly intelligent protagonist must be the biggest cliche around. Please, please, please, make your main character a little more human, more fallible, and less like Lara Croft and other female constructs like her.

Now, I love Lara and love watching movies about her, but if you want to keep your readers, especially female ones, on side and interested in your book, then don't make your MC too beautiful to be true. In your instance, it's Victoria's hair. How many times have you mentioned it in these first five chapters? Too many times!

Then, when she meets up with her friend, I don't think you need all the details about what Beverley is wearing, what they eat, the Bauhaus surroundings to such an extent. Yes - a little bit gives texture, but I think it would work if you kept references to menus to a minimum. You're slowing the pace, distracting the reader from the main plot and while such designer details and name dropping were 'de riguer' in the 80s and even a bit in the 90s, it's not fashionable any more and can date a book. Although this is a major bugbear of mine, it's easily fixed with a quick edit. Of course, you are at liberty to disagree with me on this.

Overall, this is a good, exciting book which certainly deserves a place on my shelf and I'm happy to put it there. Cheers! -Liz (A Bed of Knives)

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