Book Jacket

 

rank 35 (-1)
word count 24942
date submitted 09.10.2008
date updated 02.01.2010
genres: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Comedy...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Tybalt & Theo

Keef Williamson

 

Theo is a merchant banker in recession-hit 2008. Tybalt is a condemned criminal in 1608. In a freak accident, they exchange places.

 

Theo has just lost 97 million pounds that wasn't his. It belonged to his bank. The global finance industry is in meltdown. Unemployment looks imminent.

A chance accident sends him hurtling towards certain death at Newgate Underground station, but instead of the afterlife he finds himself in 1608.

Meanwhile, Tybalt finds himself propelled forward to 2008 into a world quite beyond his understanding. He discovers the dubious delights of fast food, appears on stage at the Globe and completely fails to find his good friend Will Shakspere.

Back in 1608, Theo finds himself almost hanged for stealing a loaf of bread, lined up to assassinate King James, and building himself a new life.

Can Tybalt and Theo find the way back to their own times? And, more to the point, will they want to?

Tybalt & Theo is complete at 77,000 words. [NOTE: I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A RE-DRAFT - THERE MAY BE INCONSISTENCIES BEYOND CHAPTER FIVE: DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM!]

 
 

tags

black comedy, comedy, escapist, funny, genre, humour, irony, no dwarves, no elves, no vampires, not even a troll, time travel

on 30 bookshelves

on 83 watchlists

544 comments

 

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2008: Theo & Pattys Flat, London

Theo paused in the act of shovelling muesli into his mouth. Milk and oat flakes dribbled down his tie as he stared at the flat-screen television on the kitchen wall. He pressed a button on the remote control, increasing the volume to its maximum level.

‘…Lloyds TSB is to take over Halifax Bank of Scotland in a £12.2bn deal brokered by the Chancellor, Alastair Darling. Well have a full report on that later. In other news, the administrator of Lehman Brothers' UK business said that the investment banks bankruptcy could be “larger than Enron”.

The image of the presenter was replaced by footage of the Chancellor, looking haggard and crumpled, addressing a press conference.

Bloody idiots, muttered Theo.

For Gods sake, Theo, turn that racket down, shouted Patty from the bathroom. He did as he was ordered, and noticed the muesli decorating his tie and the breakfast bar.

Bollocks, he said, removing the tie and heading to the bedroom for a replacement. Patty emerged from the en-suite bathroom, towelling her hair dry.

Good morning, darling, she said, attempting to kiss him. He ducked out of the way and opened his wardrobe.

Whats bloody good about it?

Well, were still alive, and solvent.

Hah. Probably not for much longer. Youll never believe what this idiotic government has just done.

Worry crossed Pattys face. Money was not something they ever had to worry about. Theos boring but lucrative job in the City took care of that.

Whats wrong, Theo?

Bloody economys in meltdown, thats whats wrong. Dont you watch the news?

You know Im not interested in that stuff. It bores me to death. But Sheinsteins will be okay, wont it? You always said it was too big to fail.

Bugger, said Theo, looking in the mirror at the complete disaster that was his fresh tie. Never mind, he could fix it on the train. He glanced at his watch. I have to go now, or Ill be late.

Well, have a nice day. And dont forget, theatre tonight and supper with Peter and Jennifer. Dont be late home.

I wont, said Theo, POETS day, right?

Patty giggled - Piss Off Early, Tomorrows Saturday.

Love you, Theo.

Yeah right, he said, pecking her on the cheek and rushing out of the door.

Patty went into the kitchen and saw the mess of muesli Theo had left behind. The thought of food make her feel queasy.

Must go to the chemist today, she thought.

***

The lift doors opened and Theo marched out.

Morning Mr Ratchett, said George, the concierge.

Morning George. You havent seen the paper-boy, have you?

No, sir. Not a sign of him.

Okay, thanks. Theo glanced at his watch, and hurried down the street to Mr Pradeeps shop. The bell over the door tinkled as Theo rushed in.

‘’Ello Mr Teo, lovely--

Yes, yes, lovely day. I didnt get my paper this morning.

Oh, dat new boy. He so lazy, innit. I give you new one. Theo grabbed the paper and made his way to the Tube station.

 

1607: Master Sheinsteins Money-Lenders, Longbeard Street, London

Sheinstein looked up from the big leather-bound ledger he was studying.

Yes, Boy*, what is it?

Um, I was wondering if you could, er, pay me my wages, sire. If it be not too much trouble.

Oh, were you? Surely I paid you your wages two months ago.

Tybalt rocked from foot to foot.

You did, sire. But now it be time to pay some more. If it please you. I has no money left, you see, and there be no food in the house.

Well, said Sheinstein, this is somewhat unexpected, you know. I can not pay you until Monday.

Thank ee, sire. You be too kind, said Tybalt, disappointed.

Cordelia, his wife, would likely kill him if he went home empty-handed. This called for desperate measures.

* Sheinstein always called his assistants Boy. It irritated Tybalt immensely. He was pretty sure he was 32.

 

1607: A Bakery, Leadenhall Market, London

The small crowd of women pushed forward as the bakers lad pulled a dozen fresh loaves from the oven and laid them on a plank.

No pushing, ladies. Wait thy turn, there be plenty for everyone, said the baker.

Tybalt crouched down behind the women, and managed to squeeze his hand between the ample hips of two of them. His fingers grasped one of the loaves. He pulled it towards him, and he ran, clutching the precious bread to his chest. The baker saw the loaf disappear and he called to his assistant.

After him, lad!

The apprentice baker was tall, slim and athletic. Tybalt was not. He struggled to make headway through the crowd. The shouts of his pursuer alerted the markets watchman, who had no trouble at all in apprehending Tybalt. Panting, Tybalt writhed in the big mans grasp.

Let me go, you bast--

Be very careful about what you say to me, said the watchman, it could get you into more trouble than you are in already.

The bakers apprentice came to a halt beside the watchman and Tybalt.

That be im, and this be mine, the apprentice grabbed hold of the bread, but Tybalt refused to let go of it. The loaf broke in two with a shower of breadcrumbs, sawdust and baked weevils.

Stealing bread, hey? That is a most serious crime, said the watchman.

I… I… did not steal it, said Tybalt.

Yes you did! Everybody saw you.

Nay, nay. What they saw was me borrowing the bread, see? I will pay for it on Monday, when I get my wages.

Have you ever met the Sheriff of London? asked the watchman.

No, gulped Tybalt.

You will do soon. And give the remains of the bread back to that man.

 

2008: St Mary Axe, London

Theo stared at his screen. Those numbers could not be right, surely. He refreshed the display, but the numbers stayed the same. He picked up his keyboard.

No. 

Bang.

No! 

Bang.

NO! 

Bang.

Im dead, Im dead, Im bloody dead.

The hustle and bustle of the trading floor faded to silence as everyone turned to look at the sight of Theobald Ratchett repeatedly banging his keyboard against his monitor.

Problem, Theo? asked Mary, on the next desk.

Im dead, Mary. Bloody deal went tits-up, lost a sodding fortune, replied Theo.

Oh, thats not good, said Mary.

Ted Spencer, an architect client of his had told him Incarceration Holdings plc had commissioned his firm to carry out feasibility studies on five new sites for their high-tech prisons. Theo was certain the shares would rise massively when the news broke, so he had written a naked put option on them. It looked like a pretty good risk, and the price had risen as expected. But then the impossible happened. Lehman Brothers had collapsed, leaving the markets in turmoil and stock prices badly damaged. The option was due today, and stock in Incarceration Holdings was virtually worthless.

Theo worked for Sheinstein Wealth Management Associates, a hallowed and revered name in the City of London. It could trace its history back to 1599 and was almost as old as the Lombards. And now it looked like he might have crippled it. Hed just lost his employer ninety seven million pounds.

He had to get out of the office.

As he swung his jacket around his shoulders, its sleeve caught a mug of coffee on someones desk and swept it to the floor. Theo kicked the mug, sending it flying against a wall, where it smashed on impact. The entire population of the office was looking at him. He glared back at them.

Listen you morons, he said, we all make mistakes, even me, king of the galaxy. You know how crap the markets have been this last week or two.

His eyes settled on the sneering face of Darren, one of the youngest and keenest traders.

I expect youve got a few dodgy positions of your own that youre sweating about, havent you, Darren, you useless arse?

Might have, might not. Listen, a bunch of us are off to the pub after work. Fancy a pint or six? You look like you need to drown your sorrows, said Darren.

With you peasants? No. I feel like shite. Im gonna go straight home.

Suit yourself. See you next week, then. Maybe.

Heading for the exit, Theo stumbled over a full wastepaper basket. He waded through the pile of torn-up trading slips and reached the double doors after what seemed like half an hour. He fumbled with his company identity card, and it took him three attempts to successfully swipe it through the electronic lock.

He tapped and stamped his feet angrily while waiting for a lift, knowing full well that repeatedly stabbing the “call” button would not make it come any sooner. He loosened his tie and undid the collar of his shirt. Finally, one of the lifts began its ascent from the ground floor. The doors slid open, and Theo was mortified to see his boss step out of it.

Leaving early, Ratchett? asked Mister Harbin. Still an hour to go, you know.

Yes, no. Im just… popping out for… some air. Bit stuffy in the office.

Theo stepped into the elevator and wiped his clammy hands on his trousers. As he strode across the marble-floored entrance lobby, the security man bade him a good evening. Theo ignored him and had a minor scuffle with the revolving door. Finally he was out in the open air. He gulped in several huge breaths, thought briefly about going to the pub, but decided to be sensible and head straight home.

Newgate Underground station was only two or three blocks down the street. Theo shivered in the chilly afternoon air. The newspaper seller outside the station was shouting about the latest round of bank cock-ups as Theo hurried past him.

In the ticket hall of the station, Theo pulled out his wallet to get his Oyster Card. His hands were shaking and he dropped the wallet, spilling credit cards, receipts and other rubbish.

Fuck, shit, bollocks, he muttered. As he bent down to pick up his stuff, he felt a sharp stabbing pain in his chest. When he stood up, a wave of dizziness enveloped him. Struggling to catch his breath, he placed his Oyster Card on the sensor of the electronic barrier. It beeped, telling him there was a problem.

Fucking open, you bastard, yelled Theo, thumping the stainless steel box.

Steady on, sir, said a guard standing nearby, you might hurt yourself.

Now the guard was beside Theo.

I think youll find, sir, that it would work better if you used your Oyster Card rather than your Barclaycard.

Jesus, said Theo. He put the credit card back in his wallet, pulled out the travel card, and the gates slid open. He hurried through. Theo wiped sweat from his brow as he made his way to the train.

As always at this time of day, the station platform was crowded. He elbowed his way to his habitual place, right on the edge of the platform so he could have the pick of which position on the train he would squeeze himself into.

Sure, hed lost money on deals before. But never this much. He was one of the most experienced traders in the bank. Five solid years of nerve-snapping, gut-dissolving stress. And it had come to this. This stupid trade that he would never normally have touched. It had failed, of course it had. You only had to look at the numbers to know it was too risky. And now the global markets were in meltdown. Governments were talking about pumping enormous sums of money into failing institutions. They were also talking about the huge bonuses people like him were paid to take risks like… betting that the share price of Incarceration Holdings would rise rapidly rather than heading towards the centre of the earth. It was too much. “Mister” Harbin would have found out about the loss by now. Hed be tearing around the office screaming and yelling. If Theo lost his job, he and Patty would certainly lose their heavily-mortgaged riverside apartment, and maybe the house in Stratford too.

No, this could not be happening. Remember that trader whod brought down a bank in Hong Kong a few years ago? Hed been jailed, right? Jail! Just for losing a shitload of money? And it was only money, after all. Thats what they traded in. It wasnt a lot different from trading in bananas, or iron ore. If the bank couldnt stand a little trading loss, well, sod em. But it wasnt a little trading loss, was it? Nine or ten mill, they could handle. Ninety seven was a different bloody ball game entirely.

These thoughts engulfed Theo, made him sway with dizziness. Horrible things were happening in his gut, and his legs felt like they could no longer support him. The air in the Underground station was hot and stale. Theo struggled to breathe as the muscles in his chest tightened, crushing his ribs like a vice. The Tube station began to spin around him. Sweat ran down his face, the salty liquid stinging his eyes. Dizzy, disoriented and barely able to see, he took a step to try to steady himself. Then another. But there was no more platform left to step onto. He heard the rumble of the approaching train as he tumbled over the edge of the platform.

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Alexander De Witte wrote 32 days ago

Keef, I have rightly praised a range of books on here very highly and for a variety of reasons. Now I'm going to laud this one:
Brilliant premise. Very ambitious to attempt. never mind pull off - you've done that with accomplishment.
Normally I hate dialected speech but yours is spot on, brilliant. The work already has polish and I noticed no editorial nitpicks.

Your characters are super, the interactions between them flow so naturally that nothing distracts from the gripping story that is unfolding. You have crossed time periods very effectively. The dialogue is crisp and clean. You make each character leap from the page - great names for them too.

There are several works on here that have made me desirous of reading them through but not one other would top a list of imminent priorities for me - just too busy. Funnily enough, I don't read much fiction (I'm very fussy and like doing other things). But I'm away in a few days for a break - believe it or not, I would take this as a paperback and read it while away - and that just doesn't happen because there is always something I'd prefer to do than read.

A marvellous book - I'm sorry but I can't conceive of this not being published. I could be wrong, but if I were it would be hard to imagine anything at all ever being published. Thanks for posting this fine book. And good luck with its promotion. Outstanding.

Alexander *The Wisdom Tree and the Dormouse*

JonathanW wrote 108 days ago

I love this! I love the world-weary theo and the hapless Tybalt. This is funny and interesting and I look forward to buying a copy when it is published. There is no problem I can see with the writing - it's all good and I wish you the best of luck with this fantastic project. Shelved, of course.
Jonathan Watts
Dread Fist

Betty K wrote 105 days ago

Great concept. I love time travel books and, in view of the economy, this is very timely. And funny, I might add. Your opening was clever and very English (I'm first generation Canadian born of British parents, aye.)

I especially enjoyed it because my historical novel about French Huguenots who escape to London involves a goldsmith/banker by the name of Abraham Thibault. Quite a coincidence.

Really enjoyed the scene where Tybalt finds himself going to be "eaten" by the subway train.

I admire how you are able to stay in the dialect of the time. I haven't done that and I know it's very difficult. You do an excellent job and it certainly keeps us in the moment. I like this. Don't know why I haven't seen it before. Shelved.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

ginafire wrote 103 days ago

This is fantastic! What an incredibly clever idea. I can't say enough about how impressed I am; from the details about London past and present and how they intersect, to the points of view of someone observing the past or future from a sort of involuntary time travel perspective - everything! Even the little asterisk remarks are a crack up. This is what I long to find in a good read and I look forward to finishing it one day.
best,
Georgina - The Time Baroness

JohnnyVee wrote 114 days ago

Well, I only came here by chance after hearing on the mb that you (and others) were having sytem gremlins - so I clciked on your book and before I knew it, you had me!
You have a great story-telling voice...in other words; you know how to rack up the tension and create the best atmosphere. From London present to past, you nail it beautifully.
This is such a fun read and deserves to do well. Backed with pleaseure!

Manolya wrote 2 hours ago

Keef, I actually don't know what to say as Alexander De Witt has said it all, except- I love this book and can't wait to buy it!!
Backed with pleasure my friend.

Manolya- Love in No-Man's Land

Elsie W wrote 16 hours ago

Keef,
I'd read the first chapter before, so I skipped around. It didn't matter which chapter I perused, this is absolutely hilarious! The situations are so well thought out, yet you make them effortless. Theo in the past is particularly hilarious. He's such a wuss compared to all of them. Just got him pictured in my head, trying to kill the chicken. Utter brilliance!

courtmuse wrote 18 hours ago

Excellent opening chapter - the kind that makes me want to rip to the next page. I love Theo as a character and am anxious to see how Tybalt is fleshed out. The scenes where Theo is rushing home and blundering through the process are well done - you give us a lot of emotion and tension.

Backed with pleasure - thanks for sharing!

DDickson wrote 2 days ago

Hello again – back for a further look – I like that line “Oh bloody Hell he’d got himself caught up in one of those time travelling larks.” That made me grin. I am enjoying Tybalt finding out about eating “sticks and little chests with small round loafs of bread.” This must have been fun to write. I still have a problem with the dialect, probably me rather than the writing but there we are. I do think that the book is a bit Terry Pratchett in style and that can only ever be good as far as I can see. I am going to back this but I will keep coming back and reading some more.

DDickson wrote 2 days ago

Just so that you know, I have my own way of commenting. Instead of reading through and then commenting at the end I am making notes as I go along just as if I was looking at a book in a shop or a library. I only ever comment as a reader anyway, and this seems to work quite well and apart from anything else, it is fun. Hope you are happy with that.

Hello – spotted this as a recommend on the forum and thought I’d have a look. Feeling a bit jaded because I have been reading a lot but this looks as though it might be a change.

Oh Oh she’s pregnant (sorry to say this but that is a bit clichéd)– feeling nauseous and decides to go to the chemist) I’m liking the dialogue in the “market” that sounds as if it is probably quite realistic – not that I would know but it does feel “right”. Yes, that’s a very good observation of human behaviour, he knew that the lift wouldn’t come quicker but he stilled stabbed repeatedly at the button.

Excellent hook at the end of chapter 1 and the chapter length is good for reading on the site.

Not totally convinced by the dialogue of the Tybalt, it doesn’t quite seem to work for me (of course that is only my opinion – tell me to butt out if you so wish LOL)

I am not sure that the King would have spoken with that accent – I wonder if there was a way that you could do this without the “extreme” dialogue.

I like the puzzlement, panic, confusion of Tybalt in the underground that is fun.

I think that the idea is brilliant, and you have the basis for a really good book here, I do think that some of the dialogue needs to be looked at again. I wish you the best of luck with this and will come back later and have another look.

MosesSiregarIII wrote 2 days ago

This is tremendously good. You can see that my other reviews tend to be critical, but I find literally nothing in this first chapter to be critical of.

It's funny from the first paragraph. Maybe it's just me, but I think the world muesli is just inherently funny!

Theo is hilarious, and a very believable character. The pacing is great. The writing is crisp and clean and draws no attention to itself. I actually want to read this when it is published--and I mean when, not if. You deserve to head up to the editor's desk here, and I will go off to the forums now to suggest that others read your work.

Thanks for a very enjoyable read. I absolutely love this.

lionel25 wrote 2 days ago

Wow! First chapter held my interest the entire time. Nothing to niptick.

Shelved!

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Paul T. wrote 3 days ago

Intresting idea, well pitched, that got my attention. Well developed, with some good plot lines developing. I thought that Theo's acceptance of the fact that he'd time-travelled came a little too easily. That aside, the story - stories? - show every sign (in the first few chapters) of fultilling the great potential inherent in the idea! Backed.

LearnMeGood wrote 4 days ago

This sounds like a truly awesome book from the pitch. I am backing it now (dinner time) and I'll come back later to read a bit.

John Pearson
Learn Me Good

KClark64 wrote 7 days ago

Very interesting the way you go back and forth. I'm backing it.

Kevin Clark
(Will of God)

StephenX wrote 7 days ago

Very fun read. great pace. Your dialogue surprises because at first glance it looks like too much on the page, but it's really not. It's smooth and bouncy. The prose is even better though. Very logical, clear, and often funny just from the items you choose to notice. Loved the opening image for instance. One note - when putting money amounts in the text (especially in dialogue), spell out "twelve point two billion pounds" - So I'm reading smoothly in the order it would be said instead having to rearrange symbols, numbers and abbreviations ("pounds twelve point two billion").

The Writing Hall wrote 7 days ago

I am in awe. This is really, really good - really good. I was more hooked on Tybalt's understanding of our world than Theo's of his - you could have done a book on this alone. But you've gone for the double whammy and it has paid off magnificently. When you are published, remember your fans.
Diane
Son of the Ringmaster

Michael Creegan wrote 7 days ago

This is an entertaining and interesting book. You try to pull something off here - characters switching places in time - that can be very awkward if not done right. Well, you not only tried, you succeeded. I particulary enjoyed Tybalt's reaction to the 2008 world of fast food and his friend Will Shakespeare's playhouse. I'm backing Tybalt and Theo.

Michael Creegan wrote 7 days ago

This is an entertaining and interesting book. You try to pull something off here - characters switching places in time - that can be very awkward if not done right. Well, you not only tried, you succeeded. I particulary enjoyed Tybalt's reaction to the 2008 world of fast food and his friend Will Shakespeare's playhouse. I'm backing Tybalt and Theo.

Rebakai wrote 7 days ago

Sawdust and baked weevils. Ugh!

Don't think I'd want to go drinking with Theo!

Wonderful ending to chapter 1.

I especially like when Tybalt goes into the future. I'll bet that was fun to write. "Stop, it will eat thee!" lol.

Then I love your discourse between the Lord Chamberlain and King James. Wonderful!

Snyvellyng. Now there's a name.

"Smelled a bit odd, like it wasn't properly rotted..." Ha! "A toff." Ha Ha!

Patty thinking Tybalt is cute is great!

You know, there's a lot of work that's gone into this "behind the scenes," so to speak. The story flows effortlessly, but much, much research was laboriously learned to make it seem so. I especially love how natural the 1600s sounds when you write it. I am with you wholeheartedly in the belief that people of old spoke casually and used slang.

So glad I finally made it round to this! Good luck, Keef. Reb

MiniMePom wrote 8 days ago

Great premise. Excellent pitch. I think this book will be very popular. Backed with pleasure.

Valkyrie wrote 9 days ago

This has so much to recommend it I simply don't know where to start. What I love is the staccato mix of scenes/times - it cries out to be viewed on my flat screen with split views.

Backed - love it!

Diane
Catholic Schoolgirls

George Chittenden wrote 9 days ago

A great blend of past and present, with an amusing thread connecting the two. Keef you waste no time diving straight into the story which grabs the reader’s attention immediately. You have a very comical plot which is very relevant at the moment, what with the current financial downturn we've experienced in recent years. A good read and well worth a backing.

George (The Touch of God)

gerry01 wrote 11 days ago

This is clever stuff. It engages the reader from the onset and is fast paced enough to keep the reader rapt.
I have a busy shelf and have watchlisted it. I'll read it sometime this decade. I never have to visit a bookshop again! I only read the first chapter. I have family commitments to attend to, but I promise to get through it. Some people here seem to be able to get through a book or two a day. I wish I could! Anyhoo, good luck. Gerry

gerry01 wrote 11 days ago

This is clever stuff. It engages the reader from the onset and is fast paced enough to keep the reader rapt.
I have a busy shelf and have watchlisted it. I'll read it sometime this decade. I never have to visit a bookshop again! I only read the first chapter. I have family commitments to attend to, but I promise to get through it. Some people here seem to be able to get through a book or two a day. I wish I could! Anyhoo, good luck. Gerry

gerry01 wrote 11 days ago

This is clever stuff. It engages the reader from the onset and is fast paced enough to keep the reader rapt.
I have a busy shelf and have watchlisted it. I'll read it sometime this decade. I never have to visit a bookshop again! I only read the first chapter. I have family commitments to attend to, but I promise to get through it. Some people here seem to be able to get through a book or two a day. I wish I could! Anyhoo, good luck. Gerry

Hi
The plot of the story is very nice and i like the narration.
All the best.
Backed with wishes.
S. Vinay Kumar

sweet sue wrote 14 days ago

Oh this is fantastic! I would love to find this in a book shop so I could read it all. I love historical fiction and the swapping of the two characters and eras is really well done and interesting. Great writing too. Shelved.

Shakespeare's Talking Head wrote 14 days ago

I was actually wondering how you were going to pull this switch off, and then make it interesting. You did pull it off, and very well. I agree with Al De Witte about the dialected speech, but you did it so well! I couldn't hope to have done half as well. And the names carry a very Dickens type feel Snyde, Snyvellyng. There's quite a bit of humour here that brings a nice levity to a story involving two (basically) condemned men. Don't know why--maybe it was the accent--but this really cracked me up: "Dae we hae ta tell yeh everything?" Actually, that whole conversation was great.

I wish I had time to read all the way through, but I'll have to leave off for now. Very nice premise, excellent dialogue (especially the king), and nice description. You already know I've backed you, but I would do it again if I thought it would register twice. Good luck with the story.

Shakespeare's Talking Head
Dropcloth Angels

tlst wrote 14 days ago

Wow! How did you think that up? It's Life on Mars on acid! I think it takes a remarkable mind to be able to write what are two separate but joined stories so effectively. Just great! Tania, This Last Summer

Tacitus wrote 16 days ago

An ambitious plan for your book which you carry off well. It's humorous and engaging. I don't think it should be slipping in the rankings after having got so far. Good luck. John / Tacitus 'Where Truth Lies' (oops mine has suddenly got a red arrow; I hope it's not catching.

missyfleming_22 wrote 16 days ago

What a great time-switch idea! You took something that had been used before and stepped it up quite a few notches. I enjoyed reading along as they each experienced these foreign times. Your work was meticulous and there were alot of details for you to keep up with as a writer and that is a hard thing to do. Glad I stumbled upon this! Great way to start the day.

Missy

JJ1980 wrote 22 days ago

Great. Really great. Made me laugh a lot. Love the flitting between worlds and you've captured Shakespeare's London perfectly. I'd buy this book if i saw it in a bookshop. Going to come back to this and read more.

Well done.
Shelved.

JJ ( LettersTo My Former Self )

Mark Reece wrote 23 days ago

Hi, This story really appealed to my sense of humour. I found myself reading compelled to read it the next funny line. Well done.
Backed
Mark
Another Day in Paradise
PS I would appreciate a return read / comment / backing. Thanks.

Mark Reece wrote 23 days ago

This book appealed to my sense of humour and I would keep reading it for the next amusing line. Well done.
Backed
Mark
Another Day in Paradise
PS I would appreciate a return read / comment / backing. Thanks.

Mark Reece wrote 23 days ago

This book appealed to my sense of humour and I would keep reading it for the next amusing line. Well done.
Backed
Mark
Another Day in Paradise
PS I would appreciate a return read / comment / backing. Thanks.

Steve Hawgood wrote 24 days ago

Keef - the read from the thread I promised. Firstly I had actually looked at this maybe a couple of times when I first joined Authonomy. Different feel so perhaps you've edited since. Note your position at 29 with a small red flag, with Fiction, HF and Comedy as the genres. I then read through the first 5 Chapters.

With the current position so close to the ED this should be a read with very strong potential, bot necessarily perfect - I still believe publishers will suggest edits.

The premise for the book is wonderful,and perhaps more suited for a film than a book. And you set us right into the action in 2008. You've a wonderful opportunity here to contrast modern life with all it's perceived efficiencies and morals, with society of 400 years ago. That the two MC's are working for essentially the same company is an additional nice touch and something to be explored fully.

And that's how you start. Quick news reports, quick kiss and even quicker quips about POETS Day. Then cut straight back 400 years and life is a loaf of bread. Quick bounce into prison for Tybalt and bounce back to Theo in 2008. It's very fast and sets the scene well and knowing the story from the intro we are not surprised when Theo collapses and finds himself in both Chapter 2 and Newgate Gaol.

From here both men are totally confused. Tybalt is leaving the start of Chapter 2 hungry and heading into the future. That also works well.

My one suggestion relates to the history lead here with the king and then the Guildford scene. There is certainly humour there but I sense it's not supporting your story yet in the right way. Especially at this early stage we see a vague mention of the papists, but the king appears to be more interested in the potential for marrying young girls than anything. Then equally the Guilford manor conspiracy has equal moments of humour. The beetle headed boar pig comment is somewhat reminiscent of Monty Python. Both of these are great scenes and visually work well, and humour is there. But they are standing alone too much together and divert from the main storyline. One may be enough at this stage, add the other in later. You know what your intent is within the story, but some may not.

I'm guessing that Tybalt, sorry Theo, is somehow going to be reprieved and and himself mixed up in all this conspiracy. Perhaps his company is also involved. But Tybalt is your main story and I would suggest splitting those two scenes up, and may be add just a fraction of a clue as to why you want these scenes in - where are you trying to take us with the history. I felt both together diverted from the wonderful two parallel stories your building up for us.

Theo now Tybalt is back in the past still trying to confirm the exact date. I wondered if you were going to have him asking for a newspaper to confirm. I loved the line about not being able to disagree with stealing from the poor.

Tybalt is now in this other story in the future and we see him confused as he must with escalators and then discovers the joy of fast food. Perhaps not such a joy after all.

The opportunities with these two parallel stories is huge. The lead into the hanging and Theo's thoughts, while Tybalt is discovering the globe is all excellent. Equally though your moving two stories along not one. It's a better read than I took on some time ago and am happy to back it. Just suggest those non Theo/Tybalt scenes split them up and make sure they sit comfortably with a very fast flowing story.

Final suggestion is to consider a rewrite for his as a film script. Visually the opportunities for this with the added humour are enormous. Theo, sorry Tybalt getting free burgers alone must be some actors dream role.

Backed - Steve - Hing Dai.

C.C.McKinnon wrote 25 days ago

very engaging. I love the idea and find your MCs very personable and entertaining. I think that it is wrong that this has a red arrow! Everyone should read it :)

Beval wrote 26 days ago

Orginial, very funny and a very clever plot line.
Backed.

T Mackenzie wrote 28 days ago

All time new favorite word: 'dribblewort'!
The premise, and the promise, of this book is entirely riveting. The dialogue is very well done, especially the Scots dialect. I look forward to rereading when it is all fleshed out. The chapters that are complete are terrific.

Marija F.Sullivan wrote 29 days ago

Shelved. I have devoured 5 delightful chapters of your book really fast. Can see a great movie based on your book. Fingers crossed.
M (Weekend Chimney Sweep or Happy New Year)

abelia wrote 30 days ago

Having read it I didn't intend to comment but just had to.
Absolutely brilliant !!! Right up my genre so to speak.
Shelved with pleasure.
Teresa
Eye of Erasmus

Alexander De Witte wrote 32 days ago

Keef, I have rightly praised a range of books on here very highly and for a variety of reasons. Now I'm going to laud this one:
Brilliant premise. Very ambitious to attempt. never mind pull off - you've done that with accomplishment.
Normally I hate dialected speech but yours is spot on, brilliant. The work already has polish and I noticed no editorial nitpicks.

Your characters are super, the interactions between them flow so naturally that nothing distracts from the gripping story that is unfolding. You have crossed time periods very effectively. The dialogue is crisp and clean. You make each character leap from the page - great names for them too.

There are several works on here that have made me desirous of reading them through but not one other would top a list of imminent priorities for me - just too busy. Funnily enough, I don't read much fiction (I'm very fussy and like doing other things). But I'm away in a few days for a break - believe it or not, I would take this as a paperback and read it while away - and that just doesn't happen because there is always something I'd prefer to do than read.

A marvellous book - I'm sorry but I can't conceive of this not being published. I could be wrong, but if I were it would be hard to imagine anything at all ever being published. Thanks for posting this fine book. And good luck with its promotion. Outstanding.

Alexander *The Wisdom Tree and the Dormouse*

bookjunky wrote 33 days ago

Fascinating plot. Very funny stuff! Backing it now.

Best of luck,
J. A. Johnson
The Wild, Wild Quest

Grace & Green wrote 37 days ago

Wow. This is really good and sadly telling of life over the past year plus. Your timing is great and as accountant turned author, I get the drama and the humor of the whole crazy situation. Look forward to reading more!

Backing the book and wish you much success!

Erika (Neil and Stan: Sanities Collide)

Lulubanks wrote 38 days ago

fast pace... engaging characters Theo and Tybalt...Your writing is good. Your strong voice holds the reader to the story...

gene wrote 41 days ago

I began reading this early in the morning and found it quite an enjoyable trip. I felt a bit left out in ch2 when suddenly Tybalt is with Patty and I had no clue how he got there; and Theo is enlisted to kill the king, but I have no idea how he got out of jail.
A few hours later, I got back to this to look at ch3 and now Tybalt is dodging around in confusion and Theo is back in jail. So I'm thinking maybe something happened in the update process?
Nevertheless, good characters. Fun story.
Best of luck.
g.

puny human wrote 50 days ago

Very funny and interesting. I did at times wish the switch between times didn't come so quick, but that's a minor complaint. Very happy to back this book.

FrancescaPolini wrote 53 days ago

Fantasy is not always my 'thing' but this is lovely, clever and well written. Good luck with it. Backed.

Douglas A Pearce wrote 56 days ago

The characters are fascinating. I especially like how you've taken the various accents and made them approachable phonetically without overdoing them. Can't wait to see how the plot develops and what kind of ending you have planned.

alias miss ferkit wrote 57 days ago

Backed! Backed! Once I stop laughing. One quibble: I wonder whether it might be best, in ch 2, to omit explanation of the barber's role in 17th. (It's tempting to feel you need to educate the reader - but I don't think it should be necessary - unless it enhances the piece in some way in the process. In this case, I think it puts the comic timing a bit off-kilter. I mean, Tybalt's horror at the prospect of a trip to the barber is so ... funny! That to explain it somewhat deflates it.
There's so very much to love here - and it would translate nicely to film.

Laurie A Will wrote 57 days ago

Keef,
Great premise and you picked great characters to exchange lives. Imagine the culture shock between the 1600’s and today!

Shelved for an entertaining read.

Laurie – Into The Master’s Lair

Madison C. Woods wrote 57 days ago

Keef,

I thought I had read T&L before, but couldn't remember. So I read chapter one and remembered that I had read it before, but loved it just as much the second time around. It still had my heart beating too fast by the end of the chapter! I didn't see anything to pick on, it's polished and flows well. Maybe I've already backed it, too, but it's going on the shelf again just to be sure.

Madison Woods - Retribution

mmcdonald64 wrote 58 days ago

I love the exchange of Tibault and Theo's lives. Both characters are so good that when it switches between times, I'm conflicted because I want to read more about the first one, but then can't wait to read more about the second. lol. It's a good problem to have.

Backing

Conny23 wrote 59 days ago

Loved the massive time jumps at the start. I'll critique a bit more later. Backed. Damien.