Book Jacket

 

rank 1608 (-28)
word count 30484
date submitted 02.02.2009
date updated 20.06.2009
genres: Fiction, Romance, Comedy
classification: moderate
incomplete

Sweet S(e)oul

Peter Anderson

 

David Black's world changes as he is sent to Seoul on a job he knows nothing about, with no money and no idea.

 

David Black lives a dreary, grind of a life. He has convinced himself that he wants a quiet journey during his time on earth. He's engaged to be married but has a problem - his new job is sending him to Seoul for a month, leaving him two weeks to return and complete preparations for a wedding.

In Seoul he discovers that his boss is a psychopath, the work he's doing may not be technically legal, he's stuck in an armpit of a hotel and his work colleagues are probably out to get him. His fiancee is growing steadily more paranoid, unpredictable and frantic in his absence.

In all of this he meets Hye-Jin, a girl whose family's self-interest has made her abandon her dreams to work in the family business and help pay off her father's gambling debts. She is like no-one David has ever met. He may, however, wish he'd never met her.

Sweet S(e)oul is a funny, twisting romantic comedy set in the heaving cities of Seoul and London. It's a book about about two people who find themselves with plenty to lose but so much more to gain.

 
 

tags

comedy, fiction, humour, korea, romantic, seoul

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on 5 watchlists

12 comments

 

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zerogeewhiz wrote 24 days ago

Thanks so much for your extraordinarily kind words. I'll be updating this soon, I've just had my head deep in the other thing I have on the go at the moment, so poor old Sweet S(e)oul finds it hard to get a look-in. But more will be along soon.

Cheers,

PeterA

Hi Peter,

I stumbled on your work by chance and I'm very pleased I did. I've only read ch1 so far and I think you've begun with a good, rhythmic pace. Looking at some of the previous comments, it seems to me you've done a lot to iron out this chapter. I found the dosage of dialogue (as it currently stands) quite appropriate - you certainly captured the dismal showmanship, to which I was exposed in my brief career wearing a suit. I certainly knew an Ashraf!
Looking forward to reading this!
Best wishes
CO

JoggingCow wrote 24 days ago

Hi Peter,

I stumbled on your work by chance and I'm very pleased I did. I've only read ch1 so far and I think you've begun with a good, rhythmic pace. Looking at some of the previous comments, it seems to me you've done a lot to iron out this chapter. I found the dosage of dialogue (as it currently stands) quite appropriate - you certainly captured the dismal showmanship, to which I was exposed in my brief career wearing a suit. I certainly knew an Ashraf!
Looking forward to reading this!
Best wishes
CO

Evan Palmer wrote 50 days ago

Peter, you've hit a chord here with this phony cheery boss you've created. and the feeling of a fish out of water and its benefits, with David. read 3 chapters and the hectic topsy-turvy pace is well-done. all the airy made-up aphorisms and toxic insincerity of a modern company on the skids is here for us to soak up. good luck. this work is very good and has the potential to be super.. evan

ahnuts wrote 142 days ago

Agree about the comments about the long dialogue in ch 1... also there's mention of 2 hundreds from the boss- its the UK so only £50s here.

Still reading, but like it so far.

Sun

zerogeewhiz wrote 148 days ago

"Dude, hurry up. He's waiting for you." Could be a good start? Throws you into the action.

Just a thought.

xox Karin.



That's how it used to start. Everyone says Ch 1 is too rushed! :-)

Wide Eyes wrote 148 days ago

"Dude, hurry up. He's waiting for you." Could be a good start? Throws you into the action.

Just a thought.

xox Karin.

mick weller wrote 153 days ago

Hi Peter,I didn't get very far with this...
you've been reworking the opening paragraph?
who did he get the text from? (lose: from?)
was well ironed - was wearing (wore)
otherwise seems engaging!
good luck with this,
cheers

zerogeewhiz wrote 155 days ago

Hi, I have read chapter 1 of this and I like how the characters have been introduced. There is a lot of dialougue though and some of it seems quite rushed, particularly at the start (although in the office with the boss this seems to be completely the right pace due to the bosses character). I got a bit confused at the beginning with what Ash and David were saying so perhaps you need to be a bit more clear on what is happening, maybe even thin it out a bit.
Thought the bit with the girlfriend was kept at a good level, not over done at all. Good start, is on the watchlist until I get further into it.

Luke



I ran through it last night and realised I was getting lost too. I've already made some edits suggested by Andy and will be working on what both you and Clare have said. Thanks so much for investing your time in this, a complete stranger's book.

zerogeewhiz wrote 155 days ago

I think that I aggree with Andy - maybe some more description rather than dialougue in chapter one may be good. Well written though and interesting characters. Clare



Fantastic, thanks for getting started on it. :-) As Andy pointed out, it actually did start life as a screenplay so I've been transcribing. Sometimes I forget you can't see what I do! Thanks for the feedback, I'll be working on the common thread that's emerging.

luke_t99 wrote 156 days ago

Hi, I have read chapter 1 of this and I like how the characters have been introduced. There is a lot of dialougue though and some of it seems quite rushed, particularly at the start (although in the office with the boss this seems to be completely the right pace due to the bosses character). I got a bit confused at the beginning with what Ash and David were saying so perhaps you need to be a bit more clear on what is happening, maybe even thin it out a bit.
Thought the bit with the girlfriend was kept at a good level, not over done at all. Good start, is on the watchlist until I get further into it.

Luke

Clare Wiltshire wrote 156 days ago

I think that I aggree with Andy - maybe some more description rather than dialougue in chapter one may be good. Well written though and interesting characters. Clare

Andy M. Potter wrote 157 days ago

Hey Peter. Love the setting and the characters. I sense screenplay here, with all the dialog. It's great dialog but can you seed it with some more descriptiv e passages and tighten it, make it shorter (not that I write clean stuff).
Some micro edit thoughts:

Sent 3: end it with David Black (delete from A's right side), then move Sent 5 up? Breaks up the staccato of the dialog, plus we can visualize D and A from the get-go.

"A deftly flicked ..." - maybe just "A flicked ..." as the verb suggests deftness.

"pronounced A without a good reason - perhaps just "pronounced A." reads better.

"of-Middle-Eastern-appearance tones" - maybe just "MIddle Eastern skintone" or "olive skin"

hey, f you want to email the ch i can get into a line edit; the site kinda is clunky for edits. catchya, a
potter_andy@hotmail.com

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