Greetings from the quiet banks of Musquodoboit Harbour, NS!
You captured the people, the attitudes, the land, the needs - and the gaelic. Beautifully written.
backed
Genevieve
Under the Same Sky

S.B - View from the Edge of the World is superbly sculpted by a more than proficient word mason. There are no hard edges, sharp angles or superfluous frills. Strong, descriptive prose adeptly chiselled into a work that demands to be viewed. A novel that is thoroughly engaging and an engrossing read.. Thanks.
Bocri

I've just read three chapters, and I don't often get hooked on a book but this immediately drew me in. I love getting Rose's view as a new arrival in the States. Fascinating. Loved the many authentic details, like the people speaking Gaelic. This feels very real. Look forward to reading more, and will comment after that, but just wanted to say I'd buy this, three chapters in, and I just shelved it.

Dear S.B.,
You write beautifully, and I am thoroughly enjoying the story, and Rose specifically. I feel that you've developed a realistic, damaged, and fascinating character. There are powerful messages I feel in the first chapters I've read, and I look foward to following the story.
Happy to place it on my shelf,
Lizzi
(Dionysus)

A poignant and vividly told coming of age.
Shelved.
J
Children of Paradise

SB
Like this Rose character. I could see her sweeping down the highway with window wide open, music blaring, and smoking a cigarette and singing and cussing at the same time. See? Now I'm superimposing my thoughts onto your character, but it is because you have portrayed her so well. She is so impulsive at present, but that is before discovering how her personalty may change later. Immaculate writing. Wish you well with it. Backed. Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

Greetings from the quiet banks of Musquodoboit Harbour, NS!
You captured the people, the attitudes, the land, the needs - and the gaelic. Beautifully written.
backed
Genevieve
Under the Same Sky

What an opening, talk about misty. Poor Alisdair, the poor wee bairn.
You know how to write, there's no denying that, I don't think we have time to read all of your book on a flat screen, we do know we will see this on a bookshop shelf in the not too distant future.

Backing it.

Eleanor and Sharkey.

Great opening chapter. Did I read that you started this when you were sixteen? Astonishing! This is very well crafted and tugs right at the heart of youthful hopes, ventures and risks.
Pleasure to back.
Tracy
The Guardians

This is a nice story. I have cruised through 11 chapters to date and I'm really enjoying it.

I also like the short chapters that you have used. They certainly work well on a computer screen.

George Fripley
Wurzel ofm Clutton.

S.B - View from the Edge of the World is superbly sculpted by a more than proficient word mason. There are no hard edges, sharp angles or superfluous frills. Strong, descriptive prose adeptly chiselled into a work that demands to be viewed. A novel that is thoroughly engaging and an engrossing read.. Thanks.
Bocri

I thought I had read this but apparently not. Now I can't help wondering why this isn't higher up the charts.

A great story that is very well told. You have crafted a terrific MC in Rose too.

Good luck with it, hope this helps to boost it up.

Melxx
UNICORN

Hello
I dipped in and out of chapters and loved them all. A good consistently flowing storyline, with an essence of poignancy running through.
Backed
Teresa
Eye of Erasmus

Hello! I absolutely LOVE your book! Any book that is set in Nova Scotia (my home province in Canada) and has the gumption to try to get a mainstream publishing deal with HarperCollins (as opposed to a local interest book deal with a small town publisher) is already worthy of my backing. But aside from the location of your story, your write very well, and your characters are wonderful. I love the premise and dialogue in your story too very much.

I have suggestions to make your book even better. First, in the pitch, place a comma after Nova Scotia, and then delete the comma in between Rose and MacRae. Also, add a single space in the short pitch after the word "finished" and before "Now the past is back..."

Second, for your book's title, I believe shortening it will make it easier for a book publisher to sell to people. Would the title "The World's Edge" be possible (or something to that effect)?

Overall, you've done a wonderful job. I am proud to back your book! :-)

Your fellow Nova Scotian,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

Chapter 7. You capture the nuances and mannerisms of fishing folk very well, as well as the vagaries of the sea and sky. I live near a fishing town and can envisage your characters from the people around me. Reminds me a bit of the 'Shipping Forecast' but that's no bad thing. Good luck with this, Jim D Serpent's Blood

I like the fact that in the first chapter, as Rose is getting ready to leave, an old babysitting charge comes and slams into the back of her legs, not wanting her to go. I feel this gives the reader an early hint that Rose is going to be a likeable character. This is very well written and enjoyable. Backed.

Rose is a fine choice for the main character. I was intrigued by your pitch and what followed didn't disappoint. I felt the pace was just right for the story unfolding and your narrative descriptions held the whole thing together so as a reader I was immediately "in the zone" (sorry, I hate cliches!).

This is a book worth reading and promoting to my bookshelf. Best of luck with your writing.

Miss Pleach
Mischief

I adore tales that span generations. You do so deftly, keeping the reader grounded. The descriptions have a certain poignancy - they aptly capture the essence of time and place.

Well done - backed.

Diane
Finish Line
Sculpting David

Ok, i might say that this kind of book doesn't appeal, but the way you have written this it really did pique my interest.
Good description, solid dialogue and tasty characterisation makes your book a winner.

BACKED

Hi S.B.
I read 6 chapters and am enjoying it very much. I like that Rose is slightly mysterious. You don't give her story away all at once, which is nice. I also like that she doesn't want to sit back and do what's expected of her and wants to pursue her own dreams. I wanted to punch Rodrick in the nose too!

One thing I thought might be helpful is a timestamp. In chapter 5, I wasn't sure how much time had passed since Rose had left Canada. I'm guessing not too long - maybe a few months? - since she mentions renting a bedroom as a temporary situation. You mention September at the start of ch. 5 so I went back to see if I could find a month reference in the first chapter to help me tell how long it had been, but I missed it if it was there. And then it jumps forward even more in chapter six. You do a good job of mentioning the passage of time when Alasdair notes that Rose had sent him the postcard 20 years earlier, but the change from ch. 4 to 5 could be made a bit clearer.

This rolls along at an easy pace and I could see myself settling down with this on a day off and getting lost in the chapters. Good luck! ~ jen

Hi
I read the first three chapters.

The writing is pretty fluent and vivid and the prose flows well.

The characterisation, I wondered about a bit. I was'nt sure at first what the time period was until you mentioned the Vietnam war. Maybe a fer temporal anchors early on with descriptions of clothing or vehicles to set the scene timing.

The dialogue itself is good but I wonder why you've broken it up so much in chapter 3. Each time you interupt the speech with an action you take the reader out of the character interaction. You might wish to experiment with taking everything out except the dialogue between the speechmarks and see what it does to the communication between the MC and Roderick. Just a thought.

This is an enjoyable read and well crafted by and large.

I'm sure it will do well,
best,
Fred

SB,
You're on to a good start with the disgruntled young Rose leaving everything thing she's ever known for America. A classic beginning with a lovely twist in the unusual setting of Nova Scotia. I love stories that take me to places I've never been, and I can see from the stellar pitch that you'll be taking the reader back there later on. I sense that Rose is holding a great many secrets in her heart, and that all will eventually be revealed.

SHELVED.
~Cheri
Artemis Rising

Hi SB,
Love your title.
An interesting opening, full of sadness but with a hint of the future.
A new start and a new image. Her hair must have looked a bit of a mess being cut with scissors.
A whole chapter of back-story but I think you’ll get away with it as it is pertinent to moving the story forward.
Great punch to end any possible relationship.
I started reading your story because of the title but quickly became interested in Rose and why she wanted to run away from sleepy hollow. This tale flows effortlessly along and pulls the reader with it.
On my shelf for a spin.
Ron S
You Can’t Hide Forever.

I love Authonomy for giving me a chance to read stories like this. Very beautiful.

I was immediately drawn in. I think it was the gaelic writing and exceptional dialogue mixed with anticipation to pastures new that did it. Shelved. Best, Sana

Not quite sure what century this is taking place in, so it might be an idea to give a date marker or some indication of the time period to help the reader fix himself. It would also indicate the degree of independence being shown by Rose. The writing is neat, tidy, effective, lyrical. Well done.
Frank

Ok, I've read the first four chapter, whizzed through them because I couldn't stop! I am filled with righteous anger on behalf of Rose, disdain for Rodrick and an overwhelming desire to go straight round and give her mum and sister a jolly good talking to for being so pharisitical!

Mmm... I think I could be hooked! I would definitely buy this, or borrow it, if I found it in a book shop or library. It's interesting, I was pulled in straight away, it's well written, the characters are lively and the descriptions vivid.

Fine stuff. Shelved without demur.

Cheers

Mary Mc
Few are Chosen - comic fantasy

Hello SB, Sorry about the break - my grand-daughter came into my study and pressed a button, whoops. You now have two comments. I hope you get the first as well. My story A Passing Storm, although quite different from yours, follows the MC's need to run away to Scotland from an unhappy marriage. I hope that you will have a look at it. I am SHELVING your story, because it shows tremendous potential. Well done.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm

Hello SB, This is a delightful story, well written and described. Rose's desire to leave her home and family for the US is quite understandable as is her worry about what the future held for her. The story about the reasons for her departure, are quite horific. Who hasn't heard of parents who want to decide who their child eventually marries and how unfair it is? Even her twin gets into the act. No wonder she wants to leave.Your writing is sympathetic and easy to read. Well done.
I have read up to ch.10. One thing and one thing only, is that your chapters tend to be too short. If you could combine some of them - those that relate to the same subject - it will make the story flow better and make it a more cohesive whole.

Hello SB, This is a delightful story, well written and described. Rose's desire to leave her home and family for the US is quite understandable as is her worry about what the future held for her. The story about the reasons for her departure, are quite horific. Who hasn't heard of parents who want to decide who their child eventually marries and how unfair it is? Even her twin gets into the act. No wonder she wants to leave.Your writing is sympathetic and easy to read. Well done.
I have read up to ch.10. One thing and one thing only, is that your chapters tend to be too short. If you could combine some of them - those that relate to the same subject - it will make the story flow better and make it a more cohesive whole.

I read the first six chapters, and this is definitely a complex story, spanning such time and weaving in so many different characters. A lot of names to keep straight, I almost felt the need to take notes, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I enjoyed the atmosphere you created in Miller's Bay, giving a real feel for the town and the old-fashioned mentality dominating its citizens. It may be a little TOO homogeneous - is Rose really the only one there who thinks for herself? But since I haven't read the rest, I don't know how that fact plays into the later plot.

R.C.

Hi SB this is a really interesting story, I love the way you mix Gaelic (is it scotch gaelic it looks very similar to irish?) it really adds a sense of the real to the story. The opening chapter is really well written and set the scene well while not over narrating the story to us, then you move on to her entry into America and the flashback of her sisters wedding, you are building the layers nicely. I think if my sister meddled that much with me I would run away to america myself! If I had time I would like to read this further as I am enjoying it but its 12.45 and I think its time I went to bed. Its on the shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

A View From the Edge of the World
“working on a thesis about hummingbird behavior and flower speciation” – excuse me but that is my cup of tea! Fabulous! And in youthfulness, you are already leading an interesting and intuitive life.

SB, I would like to see bolder typeface on the cover.

Pitch: I have developed a habit of examining pitches as it helps me focus on the book. Sometimes I have a go at writing the first line. Sometimes it even gets used.

"Scant opportunity in Miller's Bay, Nova Scotia Rose, leads MacRae to cut all ties and head for the USA. "

Chapter 1: the dialogue is immediately engaging and refreshing. I always enjoy other languages and cultures seeping through.

Nice touch closing the car trunk and hoisting the boy onto it. I identified with Rose's resolve to brace herself for departure.

Overall I felt a few tweaks might help add to the effectiveness of this touching, opening scene. For example, the para that starts "She had run" - most of know that this tense should be removed whenever possible and I am still battling to do so. I wondered what would happen if you took it out of the passive and started the chapter with action immediately, i.e. from her walking down the stairs and bumping into her parents. I wondered if this would add more tension?

I was wondering what the parents looked like. Maybe their faces showed anxiety?

Ch2: Again I might try to avoid starting passively, and immediately engage with the driving into the states. I liked her impatience and "the border would not snap shut behind her." When the car cuts in, the passivity is removed.

I liked her disappointment that the landscape looked the same.

Please forgive, but not sure you want 'squish' twice - it is a strong word. Do you really want to say 'squish'?

Finally I am intrigued that she wants to scrub herself raw. Twin sister? Nice twist and page turner. Glad to have backed you. Keep up the good work. Thanks for your incisive comment. Best wishes, Yolanda

S.B.

I have just read the first three excellent chapters from 'A View from the Edge of the World.' You have a highly readable, flowing writing style. Someone packing up to leave always makes for an interesting opening. Your short, snappy sentences drawing the reader into the story. I like the way you drop the little hook about the meddling sister at the end of chapter two - sure to get the reader turning the page. I'm sure this will do well and well place it on my shelve.

NA (A Red Sky in Morning)

Sort of reminds me of Jacob Have I Loved on an East of Eden kind of scale.
Definitely has a lot of promise.
Backed.
Neliza Drew
(Burning for Burning)

Fluid writing, a good read -- hard to believe you wrote the first draft when you were only 16. On my shelf.

Such a great read, here, there's a rhythm that I just love. Rose is very well developed, very real, and very easy for me to root for. Shelved, and will definitely keep on reading.

You have a nice narrative. I like that you take your time to get things set up. I imagine in the coming chapters we will get hit with a nice "aha!" moment when her past comes back, but after two chapters it could go anywhere.

Your prose is good and you seem to have a good command of what you are doing. Very nice!

Backed.

I read the first four chapters and found Rose to be a well drawn, strong character. I immediately liked her and hated her family. Your writting style smoothly advances the plot. It's a very enjoyable read. On my shelf for more reading later.

All the best,

VJ Davis - Where Evil Resides

This is a great view into another culture. I like the Gaelic prose but wish you'd have translated it. You manipulate a reader's emotions very well, felt sorry for her parents in chap 1 but totally understood it after chap 4. You're going to do very well with this and I'll be back for more. Graciously backed...JD

Very nice. Strong voice! I will admit that the gaelic in the beginning threw me for a loop. I repeatedly went over each line as I read them, and even said them aloud as I tried to hear what my mouth might be saying. I was concerned over how much and how important the gaelic content was going to be, but my concerns were dropped within a few paragraphs.

I don't think I can add anything to what has already been said by so many. The only things I noticed here and there were tiny little technical details, which you may have chose to use on purpose. Things like: "She felt it a letdown," instead of "She felt let down." Just those places here and there where extra words are involved, but the sentence stands on its own without them.

I'm no editor, so take my crit with the grain of salt. What I offer I always do out of genuinely hoping it will help you.

Putting this on my shelf. I think it deserves a mass audience!

David :)

Great setting with a lovely feel to it. I read up to chapter three. I wasn't looking for problems, and none jumped out at me.

couple of squished bits in the pitch where you've missed a space out, but other than that, tight writing with a great, fluffy-autumn feeling locale.

Backed,

Craig

A View From the Edge of the World
S.B. Stewart-Laing

SB,
Your have written on some highly significant themes here. As I read the first four chapters, I thought the substantive content was so relevant – in any time or place. You’ve put on the table so many issues in just these four chapters, showing how expectations of family and society can alienate those who have a right to choose their own path and pursue their own dreams. Among other things, I see this as a story about family, independence and identity issues, the breakdown of human expectations and how these are to be resolved, how the things which mean the most to people can be destroyed because many are prepared to accept illusion for reality – an introspective kind of read really.
In chapter one you paint a sad and dramatic scene - Rose MacRae fleeing her hometown. Poor little Alasdair, her baby sitting charge protesting and shedding tears over it. Her intention is to leave the scant opportunities and restrictive expectations of Miller's Bay, Nova Scotia and try her luck in the United States to start over and put her old life behind her.
In chapter two she has crossed the border and we see her at the motel, in her room, watching television. We do not know why she has left her family, including her twin sister behind, but there is a hint of anger in her, resentment, and one gets the feeling that she had good reason.
Chapter three flashes back to three days before and several scenes at her twin sister’s wedding are painted. It is discovered that Jeannie and her parents have tried to set her up romantically with Rodrick and she is taken aback when Jeannie discloses this. Rodrick is the type of man who seems to think that women should stay at home raising lots of children and she is not impressed by him. She dances with him somewhat against her will and then as chapter 4 opens, she leaves the party for shade under the trees where little Alasdair appears with his toy boat – he adores her, and happens to disclose that someone named Rodrick will present her with a ring and ask her to marry him. When she rejoins the party, this is exactly what happens. Rodrick drops to his knees and proposes! She is stunned, saying, “I’m flattered, but no.” He is even more stunned. No one moves. Rodrick kneels there with his mouth open and after a momentary lapse, he slaps her! She then lunges at him and people are now screaming. There is blood in this scene – all taking place on the day of her sister’s wedding….
The brideJeannie soon says to her, “How are we supposed to show our faces in public again?” And, Rose replies, “That’s your problem.” Three days later, she leaves her family and Miller’s Bay and starts a new life for herself in the US where she is cushioned by distance and pride, deliberately cutting all ties to her former home, and her family.
At this point SB you have already managed to get me much involved in your storyline and In wanting to know how things turn out twenty-five years later after Rose’s arrival in the US, where her son Nick Jones, a promising musician, has to deal with the suicide of a childhood friend. I look forward to reading about his return to Miller’s Bay, which promises high drama and intrigue, stemming mainly from Rose’s departure from her hometown twenty five years ago.
SB I will return to read more as soon as I can. I think your writing is sophisticated – in a simple and honest kind of way, with real characters, and without pretentious camouflage – an engaging, bracing portrait of real people with real issues within the familial and societal contexts which are universally relevant. There should be a huge audience for your work. Crits? I saw nothing to complain about! Thank you for this.
Here's wishing you every success SB,
Zan

I've just read three chapters, and I don't often get hooked on a book but this immediately drew me in. I love getting Rose's view as a new arrival in the States. Fascinating. Loved the many authentic details, like the people speaking Gaelic. This feels very real. Look forward to reading more, and will comment after that, but just wanted to say I'd buy this, three chapters in, and I just shelved it.

Quite a wonderful read. I felt myself transported into Rose's life. It's too bad that wedding went so awry!
Your writing is fabulous.

Thank you, Patricia

S.
A well done, easy read.
The writing is clean, your characters enjoyable, and the situations real.
A couple of things I noticed, in ch5.
Both at the cafe where Will and ROse meet
Maybe she would be annoyed if he[r] interupted her.
he sa[w]t gingerly on the chair.

A good job and will find a spot on my shelf.

MickR - The Nightcrawler

This is a really natural, really well written story. I like watching Rose redefine herself with the little hints you drop about her past. Shelved.

Amanda

I read your first two chapters and was particularly impressed by the way you held back information until it became natural to reveal it - such as the fact that Rose has a twin. No information dumps, and lots of mystery to keep us reading. I like the fact that you started with an ending - with her leaving her home - and I like the hair-cutting section. (Wierdly, I know quite a few people who cut their hair in response to some significant change in their life, so that rang true!) Your writing style is quite simple but not ineffective - you know how to tell a story at a reasonable pace and with a reasonable amount of detail, and that's important. So I'm happy to shelve this.

AR (Rings and Roses)

I read ch 1, 2, 3, and 72.

As you'll see from reading mine when you have the chance, I like to build my stories rather than drive paper thin characters through a commercially driven plot. You'll get a lot of comments about slow beginnings and what not, do your best to ignore them. There's still a lot of readers out there who don't like their stories microwaved.

Liked your narrative imagery, especially when she's cutting her hair. I particularly enjoyed her take on a soap opera for the first time. Outsiders must think American housewives are nuts?

Run a find and replace for 'that' and 'had.' I think you'll find most sentences those two jumpy words appear can stand alone by themselves, without them. It'll serve to tighten up your narrative.

Shelved.

Dear S.B.,
You write beautifully, and I am thoroughly enjoying the story, and Rose specifically. I feel that you've developed a realistic, damaged, and fascinating character. There are powerful messages I feel in the first chapters I've read, and I look foward to following the story.
Happy to place it on my shelf,
Lizzi
(Dionysus)

I like Rose and identify with her lack of regret for what was left behind and disappointment that the new was less different than hoped. You capture this so well.

I’ve read the first three chapters and am pausing to back it but will keep reading and if I have anything constructive to say will comment further. But so far, it is smoothly written –a top notch job.

Now I've read through C12. Part II – the time change confused me at first – you could put a time in the title

I remember a chapel in Nova Scotia with name after name on the wall of fishermen who had been lost at sea. You evoked that memory and made me sad all over again. Beautifully written.

A couple quibbles: in C5 = you could use he more often – we know it’s Will
In or C7 or 8– isn’t the plural of flounder, flounder.

This is a wonderful book. I'm stunned that someone so young writes with such insight.

Pat

BACKING because Poppet did and I have always trusted her instincts, which is why she is my longtime friend. She's rather brilliant at finding good reads. Those pitches look perfect as well. Think you can make it to the Ed's desk.

Do look forward to your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

I like the way you started your book. the way Rose left promise the new adventure she's going to enter.
Your choice of word is right to the point.

Good luck,
Kimmy

A poignant and vividly told coming of age.
Shelved.
J
Children of Paradise

Couldn't put this down! I'm so glad that the story ended on such a warm note. You are very good at weaving a multitude of characters in and out of your work to give an almost soap-opera type of feel. It almost felt like an entire year of Miller's Bay on DVD. About the only two things I can offer as suggestions is that in the first chapter, the focus was som much on Rose, that I expected her to hae more of a prominant role in the novel. As written, it may be better to take a bit of focus off of Rose, and make her just one of the cast of characters in the story.
The second thing that I have to admit was a bit of a distraction, was Nick's age. I found it implausible that an eighteen year old could show up in a town, assume custody of a child, and organize a town meeting where the residents would halfway even listen to him. Maybe if he was twenty-five or something it would be a bit more realistic.
Aside form that, I really enjoyed the story, and want to say thanks for posting it in its entirety.

Shelved
tyler
Never In a Million Years