Excellent, excellent, excellent! Loved the story and it's been a long time since I read such good Sci-Fi. You should submit this to the Sci-Fi Channel and maybe they will make a series out of it! It would make an excellent screenplay. Worth a try!

Very well written and interesting novel. My favourite genre's are Historical and Science Fiction as they require a displaced imaginative vision and you do this so well here. Backed and wish you the best,
Eric

This is a very original concept, Michael, and you write it with great ease. I like the idea of Mika going up into the next century and then using his knowledge to help with problems that are arising. I think your use of the first person works exceedingly well as it brings a certain immediacy. Backed with pleasure - Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

What an imagination you have my friend! This is great stuff - Asimov meets Roddenberry – teleportation, replicators and interstellar travel. For us SF enthusiasts it doesn’t get any better. Previous readers have already provided you with considerable feedback, so there is no point in repeating their comments. Someone went so far as to say, “the hard part is the writing”. What they didn’t say is, “the harder part is getting it right.” Steve (Ward) has given you a blueprint to follow and I would simply confirm he is providing you with excellent feedback. You said it yourself, “It is not finished.” (end of chapter 10).

You’re very close, close enough that I would not hesitate backing such an original piece of literature.

Shelved immediately.
This is Sci'Fi at it´s best. Mika is the perfect protaganist
and dragged me willingly into the story.
Best wishes and loads of luck.with it.........Mikey (The Free)

This is really cool. I just read the first couple of chapters, and I love the feel of the opening, the incredulity and shock upon awakening 150 years in the future.

Shelved!

John Pearson
Learn Me Good

Excellent, excellent, excellent! Loved the story and it's been a long time since I read such good Sci-Fi. You should submit this to the Sci-Fi Channel and maybe they will make a series out of it! It would make an excellent screenplay. Worth a try!

I enjoyed this mainly based on the strength of your plot, the interesting future world and the lead character. You are on the right path here. There are some things you might consider to improve your chance at success.

Sometimes Cryo is capitalized and sometimes cryo is lowercase. Just make it consistent. I think lowercase is best.

Shouldn’t be capitalized: “…more like a (toad) with laryngitis…” “…daydreaming about (starships.)”
When you start a sentence with a number, write it out: “Forty-eight hours later…”

Spell out small numbers: “I’d been cocooned in this room for over (four) days now…” “This one was approximately (three) metres high and about (two) metres in diameter.” Watch for other places.

Sentence fragment: “Engineering that just wasn’t possible back in my time.” Maybe say, “I marveled at engineering…”

I think you mean: “Jodi (sat) at his breakfast table…”

I don’t think this is the correct style: “About 5.10 tall…” Do you mean five-foot, ten inches tall?

Be careful not to overuse exclamation points. The more you use them, the less effective they are. If a sentence is stunning in itself without an exclamation, then take it out. If adding an exclamation point elevates the importance of the sentence significantly, leave it in.

You may want to have him remember his family and loved ones more often. I’d imagine that he would greatly miss the people he was close to. You could also flesh out the history of the Jodi character more.

Overall, this is good. You have my support.

Brian

I'll be honest with you I actually found this kind of funny lol. Sorry cause I reckon this probably wasn't the effect that you were aiming for, but take it in a good way! :) I guess it was just a little bit too serious for me and that was why I found it amusing, but in a nice positive way :) Backed and on my shelf! Good luck with this one cause I can see that other people have got the point better than me lol :) Happy to offer any support that I can

Hi T.L. Many thanks for your kind words and backing. Your on my W/L.

Mike.

This is a unique story. I like futuristic novels, ones that show us what is in store, this one did not disappoint. i do enjoy the voice of your MC, though I think when his friend died he would have reacted a bit differently, more emotionally perhaps?
Regardless you set right into the thick of the novel not wasting time with backstory or random information. You do a great job at setting this up and then executing it. After two chapters I am hooked, which says a lot because Sci-Fi isn't really my thing. Funny how I like future novels but not sci-fi?
Backed the point, this is very well done.
Backed
T.l Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Hi Leigh, thank you for your very kind words and backing. I will return the compliment and I have your's on my W/L

Regards, Mike.

I'd have this book bought on pitch alone. It just screams BUY ME. The first couple of chapters certainly don't disapoint, we're straight into the heart of the action. Really, this is very good.
Soooo backed.
All the very best with this.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

SHELVED!

JC
The Obergemau Key

First of all I liked the premise for the story. Your writing shows great imagination and my interest was held at all times. There is some good characterisation here of both the protagoniist and your antagonist. Your narative pushes the story forward and the dialoge you use is believable.

I have to mention that at the beginning I fel consious of an overuse of (had and was) I am guilty of this at times and I am told it is best to remove the wherever possible. The following are just suggestions for you to consider.


I (had) named it The Magnacell

i tested the chamber using small animals and brought them out of stasis, unharmed, proving the chamber worked.

I waited for the human guinea pig who agreed to test the chamber, but he failed to turn up as expected.

Backed with [pleasure

Derek
thedarkside@edating

I love your cover, title and pitch. I am backing you because i want to back me. This is a generic comment i back on all those people whose cover, pitch and title i like. Please back me.

Good luck with yours.

BACKED

Your opening was interesting, so I went on to read chapter 7 and 8 at random. The endings to each chapter was well placed (I had a hint of forshadowing in 7, a tidy ending in chapter 8 where I could pause as a reader). Nice work on the chapter transitions. Best of luck to you.

I liked the compelling way you handled the idea of a person surviving for hundreds of years to awaken to the future, so painstakingly interwoven with description of the labour-saving technology man could have fully achieved by 2150.
Mika's emotional response to his new environment tests the boundaries of human instinct wherever we are placed and it is fascinating to anticipate how Mika will still have to import to his new surroundings, instincts born to him of the ancients. I want to read on.
Shelved
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

This isn't bad. The idea isn't new, but that's par for the course; what you do with it is the important thing. This goes at a decent pace and the prose isn't bad.

If I was you, I'd avoid first part contractions. So, instead of "I've not", try "I haven't", it's much more reader friendly.

Shelved for being good of its type.

Adelie High (Naming Names)

Great dialogue and overall good read. Sci-fi is not really my genre so can't offer anything else, sorry.

Melxx
Impeding Justice.

Michael, a trip to the future - fun stuff, and what an idyllic future it is except for those pesky aliens! Perhaps a little too idyllic? Can all humanity’s problems be laid at at the need to struggle for survival? What about all the spoilt rich kids in today’s world who have always had every luxury they could possibly want and who have wrecked their lives with drugs and self obsessed behaviour. Wouldn’t there be some of that in the future?

There's a lot of explanation about the technology, perhaps at the expense of good old action. It might be more effective to weave the technology around events rather than just explaining it. For example, wouldn’t Mika be famous? Wouldn’t friends of Jodi and the news media immediately be clamouring to see and speak to him? Perhaps Jodi could have some friends around and during the chit-chat some funny gaffs and misunderstandings occur on both sides, while a little (not too much) info about the technology seeps through.

Or the two go walking and encounter a group of people who are the future’s equivalent of those outside society’s parameters, and have some kind of confrontation with these, using the futuristic technology to escape. My point is that the story would be more powerful if there were more interaction between people rather than so much ‘show and tell’ about technology.

You do have good ideas and you write well. Inject a few more action sequences and you'll have a winner.
On my shelf.
Jen (Play or Die)

Michael, a trip to the future - fun stuff, and what an idyllic future it is except for those pesky aliens! Perhaps a little too idyllic? Can all humanity’s problems be laid at at the need to struggle for survival? What about all the spoilt rich kids in today’s world who have always had every luxury they could possibly want and who have wrecked their lives with drugs and self obsessed behaviour. Wouldn’t there be some of that in the future?

There's a lot of explanation about the technology, perhaps at the expense of good old action. It might be more effective to weave the technology around events rather than just explaining it. For example, wouldn’t Mika be famous? Wouldn’t friends of Jodi and the news media immediately be clamouring to see and speak to him? Perhaps Jodi could have some friends around and during the chit-chat some funny gaffs and misunderstandings occur on both sides, while a little (not too much) info about the technology seeps through.

Or the two go walking and encounter a group of people who are the future’s equivalent of those outside society’s parameters, and have some kind of confrontation with these, using the futuristic technology to escape. My point is that the story would be more powerful if there were more interaction between people rather than so much ‘show and tell’ about technology.

You do have good ideas and you write well. Inject a few more action sequences and you'll have a winner.
On my shelf.
Jen (Play or Die)

As a self confessed science fiction-phobe, I was suprised to get as sucked into this as I did. I find your dialogue well balanced within the text and natural and you are building (I only read chapter one) a very interesting story. Backed, Cx

Hi, Michael. Great pitch. No mincing words. Tells exactly what we're going to get.
Cool! Right into the meat of it. I was afraid I'd have to read through a bunch of backstory and character intros before the fun started but, nope. Got right to it...haha.
The future looks great. I like that lots of fascinating future stuff is being shown and explained. 'Intelligent material' - that's a new one on me. Never heard that before.
Good dialog, I like observation through dialog rather than so much narration. Good job on that.
Ok, I'm backing it. This should be a fun book. On my shelf.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

[2150 Total Integration]
This could be a powerful story and partly it is. I mean, you have the talent to pull it off. Your writing skills are in place, but the plot leaves a lot of questions open.

For one: your MC sees a good friend die. I would expect him to be in shambles and yet he isn't. Not really. Also, the reason you use to get him into the cryo machine, is a bit flawed. When the facility is destroyed, I would think he would be destroyed, too. At least he would need some energy that could last longer. You solved that part, which is great, but I cannot imagine that any battery would last 150 years.

Solve it by putting the research facility up on a mountain, where it is cold. Keep the storm and also let him test the machine on himself. No one believes him. This is his last chance to do it before they fire him and when he wants to use his guinea pig, there is an avalanche destroying the quarter where the animals were kept.

Having no other choice but to get into it himself, he does it. His colleague must activate the machine, then get out as quickly as he can while the road is still open, or something.

The MC steps inside, is frozen and the colleague... Well, we find out later. It doesn't really matter as the MC wakes up again a 150 years later. He discovers that the research facility has been destroyed by avalanches, which keept him in stasis. The machine no longer needs to function - the ice will have kept him in his state.

When years pass, he is woken up again. He won't be told immediately, but in the end the colleague who was with him used the technology and build further on what the MC knew. That saved his life because 150 years later they knew how to wake him up again.

Also, maybe add some more emotions. Don't tell, show. He panics? Let him panic in what he does, not because you tell us.

I liked your story and I think it has a bright future ahead of it. I hope my review was helpful.

Have fun,

Peter
(A Shadow In A Shady Country)

Neat concept. Talk about a life changing experience, waking up in the future. Sometimes, to me, it felt a little rushed. The whole storm happened so fast. I didn't get a sense of who your MC was before he was transported to the future. That makes it hard for me to understand how difficult the change was for him. What and who he missed. Over all though, I think you have the makings of a good story. The best of luck and on my shelf.
Connie

There's a lot of good Sci-fi on this site...and this is up there with the best.
Backed

Hi Francesco,
You are very kind. I'm extremely flattered and thank you for your backing.

Mike.
Huh? How did that work ? Never done this before.

Michael

I read your first 3 chapters.....Is there not one single person that Mika misses from home, does he not want to visit a graveyard or find out when his parents died, or if his sister had children, or if his old home is still there..... or find out what happened to his best friend.....

There was a display of emotion in chapter 3, and I thought, Oh right, here we go, memory lane,,,,,but no ! the selfish lumax was bleery eyed at the realization of how far technology had advanced......So OK, I am not a Sci Fi reader, and so maybe I'm way out of line, but just one paragraph or pensive sorrowful reflection.....In theory, he lost the rest of his life !! (did I miss something) i was fighting off 2 kids and reading this at the same time.

So OK,. I've got over that.........Yes, this is quite brilliant. Well written, fabulous plot and superb characterization.....Shelved.

There's a lot of good Sci-fi on this site...and this is up there with the best.
Backed

Original!

Very good read. An enjoyale journey with Mika, and the interesting 'alien's and 'futuristic' plots keep the pages turning. Backed- ami (The day the Flowers died)

Very nice premise indeed. I've been in a cryo chamber - think it was -110C or was it -130? Can't remember but weirdly it wasn't THAT cold. Dry cold, that was the thing....didn't shiver. But skin started to look like the Christmas turkey after a couple of minutes.
I really like this but - had to be a but, didn't there? - I think you jump in too quickly. I want to know what is serious enough, scary enough, to have someone jump into an untried cryopod? You could make this a cracking first scene, full of menace and mounting dread.....real crash, bang, wallop stuff....... total jeopardy and then - last chance, only option! Scared shitless but goes for it, as really no option.

Okay, I'll shut up. I've had a few glasses of red.....but seriously, that's my honest opinion. Should have put it as a message - if you want me to delete it, that's fine- just say!

Thing is, after that, it's great........ :)
Backed
Jane
WALKER

Dear Michael,

Mika Gerey, a play with names, and there you are in 2150
It's a conceptual story and raises questions we don't normally ask. I suppose they know in this society how to recover muscle functions quickly - after 150 years in stasis one would otherwise expect intensive physio. Work ehtics have been abondoned, mothballed since 2080, about time. Money is gone, artificial life forms take care of everything ... you say coffee and it appears ... ah, love that ... and value is decided by usefulness. I'm curious about that, what is useful in this society? Haven't got that far.
This is not character driven and psychology is not part of the story, apart from Mika's primitive war instincts you foreshadow. I love the intelligent walls that give way when a human approaches, and am of course curious about the Gohdamma.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

This well written, I like the premise. This first chapter is good.

2150 Total Integration

Hi Michael

Great start, I liked the POV remaining with him so that the passage of 150 years is for us the reader, the same as it is for him - instantaneous. The world he wakes up to is interesting and strange but I wonder where you are in the drafting process because I would expect the dialogue to be more halting, to unfold over several days. You might want to take us into the psychological experience of stasis more, descriptions of quiet darkness, hanging still, you might want to chop his waking up so he has more metabolic overloads. Jodi seems to be a cypher at times for info-dumps about where and when he is waking up, you need to dress Jodi in more character sooner I think. Also, watch the use of exclamation marks, you have two in quick succession when he discovers the year he has woken up in and I don't think either of them are necessary. But these are nit picks, what you have is a gorgeous science fiction epic in the making and I am happy to back this, let me know if you redraft will be happy to come back and have a look at it

Best wishes
Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)

I like how you get straight into the 'waking up' part, but I think a little more foreplay is needed. Not much, maybe a few more paragraphs? Perhaps some memories when he is coming round. 48 hours later - I wanted to see more of his acclimatisation. For me, the waking up 250 years in the future was a big deal - is his bladder okay? Is he ravenously hungry? What about his muscles?
I didn't think the replicator needed so much explanation - I'm no sci-fi buff, but I'm familiar with the concept from Star Trek. Although I do like the idea that it's done away with acquisitive crime.

I don't really read this genre and I am usually bored after a page or two but I genuinely like this and am sad that it is heading downwards because ut is so well written. I can't really comment more than that because I'm no too far into it but it's backed as I actually want ot read more.
Chris (InsideOut)

he's just like any other dreamer contemplating life the universe and everything as he gazes down on his home town from the hillside just like any of us might some evening .

only he bumps into a sphere and meets an alien who proceeds to endow him with superhuman powers .

i like how you keep the description pretty deadpan, so that
(and this comes a bit later)
"although this, in human terms, was a major historical event, it was also a very pleasnt period.." when you write about the cracians ..

christian and frances, they are much like any other couple . but in telling their tale, you mix up the mundane and the mindblowing . . .

you stretch reality, the quotidian, out of shape - throw an imaginative character like christian into the craziest of surreal situations .

global mentor sounds like a grand job, and i'm into the concept of gohdamma .

time travel was never like this .

shelved, and wishing you well with it .

freddie
("honour")

You waste no time getting us into the alien encounter. I like your no-nonsense still, free from frills and unnecessary description. Based on chapter 1, I'd pick this up from a real library shelf, so it's going on my personal shelf here.

Michael, 2150 Total Integration has been on my shelf for some time now. It is well written and tight with an imaginative concept worth of A.E.Van Vogt. With a few short descriptions you transport us flawlessly to a future that few will ever see other than between these pages. It is interesting to note that in that future Mika, as did H.G.Wells Time Traveller, discovers that in some way there is a degeneration of what we consider today as humanity. I suppose that way down there in the bottom of the barrel there's something to be said for twentieth century know how. Still backed...RT

Hi Michael, this is a very cool world. The story moves apace and the images, such as the white room that morphs into required objects, are very well described. I could see it perfectly. A few things that I would tweak are; some quote marks are missing around dialogue. At first I found the dialogue a little formal, but then it warmed up. Also, for me, the 21st century bit was over too quickly. Just a bit more excitement/fear or anticipation on the readers part might make for a more dramatic opening. Maybe. Dunno. Oh, and someone went to town on me about this last weekend: cut down on excalamation marks. Apparently you can use them once. Ever.
One other thing, try not to explain dialogue. Eg. 'What's the matter, Mika?' and then the prose says Jodi is concerned. His concern is evident in his words, so you don't need the explanation. The scene might be strengthened with some kind of action, like if he laid a hand on his arm to show his feeling.
But I love this story and the way you tell it, so shelving. Helen.

What a great idea - to make someone from the past, who has retained primitive war-like instincts, the saviour of the future. This is really well thought-out, and well delivered by very high-quality writing. You rightly identify the moral and ethical issues, as well as inventing plausible technology, and that is surely the hallmark of good sci fi. Very happy to back this. Best wishes, Tony.

You have a good imagination. You do not have to indicate who is speaking so much when there are only two people present. By the way, you spelt 'archaeologists' wrong in your pitch.

Best.

Awesome concept, beautifully written. Need to read more. My only (minor) issue is the name of the 'Gohdamma' which evokes 'Goddammit' :)

WL'ed.

Laurence
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11541

Yes! Much better now - straight into the action and everything is still perfectly clear.

Two thinks that struck me this time: people all view the world through the filter of their own experiences and knowledge. Sometimes Jodi is talking like he has Mika's full perspective, such as highlighting 'profit' as an outdated concept. Would he know such a word if it had fallen into disuse? Maybe he has a history book in front of him, or hints that he's done some research through the brain chip thing. He could even get something slightly wrong or phrase it awkwardly - he CANNOT fully understand Mika's world and point of view.

Second thing - how can Mika see the flashing lights in the disk if it has been put on his neck?

Much better though, though still needs a little tightening perhaps. Still on my shelf..

Alex

Hello Michael, I'm finding 2150 an easy book to read, it not being cluttered with unnecessary detail, instead telling a fine story with lots of imagination. I would at a push like to 'see' a bit more of the world - what it looks like visually, how it is different from today's Earth. Perhaps also a short description of Jodi would be helpful. However you do the up to date technology well and there is plenty here to whet the imagination. Shelved, Scott.

2150 Total Integration is a fine example of the HG Wells school of time travel to a future world, which is well imagined and will appeal to sci-fi fans. I'm therefore happy to back it.
However, I think it will needs some work to bring it to publication level. In particular the psychologies and motivations of the characters need development to bring them fully to life in the reader's mind as rounded individuals. There are also large chunks of telling [including the introduction] about the way the new world works that slow the narrative and would be more digestible if our understanding evolved more naturally. Good luck.

I like this story! You handle Mika's wonder at his new situation well - this could easily have been miss paced. Obviously a well thought out and complex society to which he awakes - you have a lot of information to get across. This fits nicely into the narrative, rather than being shoved at the reader, very good.

I know from your premise that Mika was a scientist, but my assumption having read chapter one could be that he was just the unskilled guinea pig, put into stasis. I'd maybe like a little more revealed about who Mika is and was. Also Jodi is a bit blank so far, not even a physical description, clothes, hair etc. Surely these details are futuristic and interesting new to Mika?

I'm not sure about the first paragraph, explaining what has happened to the human race. This is all covered once we get into the narrative, and that immediacy of Mika telling his story is far more compelling.

Overall though, I think you have a fine tale to tell, and with a bit of polish it will be very readable and enjoyable. I'm going to give this a whirl on my shelf,

Alex

A futuristic Sci-Fi:

“I opened my eyes with some difficulty but I could make out the shape of a medium height, stocky character standing next to the couch or bed I was laying on.
He introduced himself.
‘Hi, I’m Jodi Anderson, welcome to 2150.’
2150, what’s he talking about? My head wouldn’t work properly. He appeared to be very concerned about my condition.”

Oh and we won’t be using Authonomy any time soon:

“‘Learning is no longer about reading dusty old tomes in university libraries, attending lectures or laboriously searching networked databases. It is an electro-biological process, during which, information is committed to memory via an interface implant, placed in our brain at birth.”

But this is what Mika makes of the opportunity:

“The thought ran through my mind.
It is possible, we don’t need to ravage planet Earth to survive and develop. Why didn’t we realise this earlier? I don’t want to go back even if it is possible.”

Although set in the future, here is the message for today:

“We had travelled the planet, which was now in much better shape than I remember. Much of the devastation cause by mankind and the super storms of the 21st century had been recovered by nature but some effects of mankind’s abuse are long term or permanent such as the rise in oceanic levels.... Yet, inside this new civilisation great strides in science and technology are being made without damage to the planet or compromises to Human integrity.”

But where do you get this piece of kit?

“I spend a lot of time on the holocom now in an effort to bring my education and understanding up to speed.”

And there is more:

“I caught a glimpse of the ‘Adventurer’ through the viewport just before we stepped into the Travicube, it produced a tingling sensation I remember from childhood.... I realised that I was getting more than just a tour of a starship.”

This book is bound to have a following from readers of this genre. Shelved.

ch 3
Fun, but I don't think we are getting on with the story here. He's sightseeing and it's a lark, but I think you need to work on where your tale is going. Oe of the things that is supposed to be happening is that the moderns aren't mentally (or genetically) geared for handling conflict and warfare, yet Jodi can use his learning to fly a fighter and does it as well as Mika - I think you'd want him to lose, dispite his advantage. I also want to get back to the aliens.
I would like to read on with this, so I will back it, but I'd be worried that any agent would tell you what to do now and not go on until you could send him back something that grabbed more and had more feeling for the people. The confusion isn't nearly enough on either side. Try thinking about how it would feel for someone from your grandmother's youth to find herself transported to modern times. A lot of what she might expect of the modern world would be just flat out laughable to us and so much would have happened that her time couldn't have predicted - she'd be permanently wrong-footed by behaviour.
It might be a small thing, but Mika seems to have only met one person so far. I'd love to believe that the paparazzi will disappear in the future, but isn't anyone interested to hear what things were really like in the past, from someone who knows?
I think you have a really interesting idea here, but you need to work on telling the story more.
Bob

ch2
Bit puzzled by the idea of aliens who seem to just turn up without a plan and then hang around bitching at people. I like the idea of decent starships, but I think it is more likely that we'd be using nanotech craft to do the initial explorations. I've dug a lot of ideas from Michio Kaku's book Physics of the Impossible for what might and mightn't be possible - he doesn't set times for things exactly, but does say what technologies would need to be developed before other things can be. I book I want is Orson Scott Card's How to Write SF and Fantasy. It's supposed to be very good, but our local bookshop hasn't got it in and they've had to order it for me. I'll get back and tell you what's good in it when it arrives.
I still think that this tells too much and you could spend more time showing us things first, before getting them explained.
Bob

Intro and ch 1
I love the concept and I like the tech.
I have to wonder who the intro is for? Well, me, I know, but I'm probably dead by 2150, so I'm curious how I'm reading it. People of the time wouldn't need to be told this.
The opening is too fast for me. They'd be peeling me off the walls if I found I was 150 years in the future. I think you could ditch the intro and let us find out more about it ourselves as things go on.
It might also be an idea to set us up for this a bit. Why not have a scene in the (nearly) present day with him setting up the cryo cells and the storm. We don't need much telling that the world is going to hell, but it could set the scene with hurricanes striking the south coast of the UK (and getting in, even without visas), the Gulf Stream switching off, etc, etc.
Fade to black and then he can come to. I think you've got enough enough to do getting him awake and slowly settled into the new world. Arthur C Clarke does this in one of 2001 series (the last before he died, I think).
I know I've often been accused of not giving enough info out in the first few paragraphs, and that's probably true, but I think you go the other way and tell us too much of what is going on. This would all be one hell of a shock to the system. I remember that kids I taught in the Solomon Islands were taken for an exchange trip to Canberra once. The Aussies tried to take them for organised excursions, but had to stop as the kids just overloaded on all of the novelty and fell asleep in the cars - too much to take in.
Bob

Hi Mike,
To start with the pitch. It's SF, so I'm interested already. I do think that the second para of the long pitch gives away too much plot and not enough detail. Who are the attackers? One group or many? The struggle with the friend's ambitions is raised, but then goes nowhere, so I sort of lose the idea of a conflict.
That got worse in the last para as it gave away the idea that he wins out over the aliens and his friend. I think you might get more juice into the pitch if you told less and set up more of a question, like can he do it or can't he?
I really like the idea of books that look at human origins, so I'm into this already.
Bob

Hey Michael :)
I enjoyed reading this - you have a smooth style of of writing and I found it easy to get into the story, felt very much part of the story, if that makes sense?
You have a great imagination and your descriptions are vivid, bringing your characters and the setting to life.
There are some interesting ideas here and I wish you the best of luck. Shelved!
AnnabelleP

Very well written and interesting novel. My favourite genre's are Historical and Science Fiction as they require a displaced imaginative vision and you do this so well here. Backed and wish you the best,
Eric