The title and cover art drew me in

This is a very interesting manuscript. It is well written and speaks to a variety of readers

You have a flair for connecting your readers with your characters. This is no small feat.

It feels real and not forced. You should be very proud.

Once I started reading, I could not put it down

I wish you the best

Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

This is brilliant. i've always had a soft spot for stories related to mental illness, and It's delivered really well.
backed, and definitely something i'll be returning to finish.
Fancy taking a look at mine? it's called debutante. It's similarly dark, so might perhaps be of interest to you....
Phil x

This is important. I think mental illness and mental health are a leading concern that often gets pushed to the back burner in our society. it is hard for people to understand, they don't see something physically wrong so they become confused and ignore the symptoms. My brother was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder while he was in prison and later on it was antisocial personality disorder. Realistically, they don't actually know what is his issue. Sometimes lazy diagnosis drives me nuts. But I digress, this isn't about my life. this is your book. The concious stream of thoughts you have wrote out are intense and at points disturbing. I really feel this is a wonderful and I cannot imagine how hard it was to write.
I commend you for your bravery, for putting these things out there so boldly and not making excuses for it. You have a fluid and engaging style. The brutal and blunt honesty of everything you write is really what makes this raw piece so riveting.
I think this has potential. Though I think the YA tag should be dropped. this is too heady for that market. In my opinion.
Regardless, backed.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

I read the first chapter of this. Bleak, harrowing and gritty - but without a doubt fantastically written. I'm backing this because I think it's a book, and you're a writer, that everyone needs to read.

Well written and entertaining. I couldn't finish the chapter due to the state of mind I'm in (which is similar to what you're writing about) unfortunately. But I will come back some day.

You are my fourth book to be backed.

JMW

This is simply beautiful writing. Full of emotion. Very powerful.
Backed.
-Marissa (The Woman by the Sea)

Any biographical account of mental illness, addiction, self-harming and depression is never going to be a fun read - and this certainly isn't. It is, however, among the best written accounts of the ramifications of an illness I've ever read. This is fantastic writing, from the wonderful title onwards the reader enters a world about which most of us know or understand so little. I've been moved, even amused at times, and certainly enthralled by the chapters I've read to date. I'm envious of your writing ability - fiction is such an easy task in comparison - and awe-struck by your courage in writing this book about your life. The tone is bleak, but not unrelentingly so, but the story is couched in such a wonderfully expressive way as to make the reader feel part of your life and want you to succeed in your struggle. I can see the benefit of having a sociology degree when you set out to write this book. You understand the nature of the human spirit so well.
I can't recommend this book highly enough. If this doesn't reach a wider audience, I'll despair for the future of the publishing industry. Backed -emphatically.
Jared.

ok well i havent started read this yet but thank god for you! i was honestly getting a little irritated how nothing on here was even similar to my writing, and hardly anybody wants to actually delve into the human mind. so you are definitely backed just from your pitch mate.

i look forward to read this

Mckenna
[Blackened Spoons and Rusty Needles]

Powerful writing, familiar territory. Happy to back.

Hi Lorcan,

This was a searing read - so much honesty on show, and almost too much to take in. The self-harming, the substance abuse and the pressures felt by someone with a mental illness are all on show; I've thankfully never suffered from these things but know some people who have, and part of it felt like re-living their traumas and battles over and over again. Those deep, dark moments where people who don't understand try hard to "lift" people, having little or no understanding that the feelings are almost bone-deep, in with the bricks. This was terrific stuff and a powerful piece which I think HC should be taking a look at.

Pat Black
Snarl

F*CKED - A Memoir of the Mind

Hi Lorcan,

If this isn't published then there is no justice, brilliant evocation of the situation, of your pain, your distress, open, genuine, and so, so painful. You are so honest with us, did you screw up, you know, you at the DNA level or was it something you did or didn't do, the choices, or is it something else entirely. You have written into you pain here, you describe it freshly, openly and genuinely in a way that no feeling person could not be moved by. You define and describe the bleakness so well, I am not biploar at all thank God, but I have done a lot of reading on the subject because I work with people everyday and some of them teeter and dip in and out of this. Powerful writing, world-changing writing hopefully for you and certainly for the readers of your book in the future. Brilliant, I'll say it again, brilliant. If you have time to look at my book it would be so helpful at this stage in the game.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)

This is brilliant - well-written, moving and witty (I love the biology teacher losing it over the tests.) I'm putting it on my shelf.

Lorcan
As a fellow Dub, I could identify straight away with so much of your writing. I have done service in the CMH and am familiar close up with some bipolar sufferers suffering with other addictions. Searing honesty. Harper True should want this. Shelved.
Frank

This made me cry a little. You won't be surprised that I'm bipolar, too. I can't read any more at my the moment - it's too familiar, too raw, like you've been inside my head and rummaged around then written it down. I even do the thing with the clocks that your mother did! I'm keeping it on my watchlist to come back to.

My dear Lorcan,

Sometimes crazy people can be the most lucid people on the planet. Because I am bipolar, I feel I can speak with some authority. Your description of your disorder strikes a familiar chord in me, as I'm sure it does for others. I'm partial to honest, relevant stories on mental illness. Thank you for being brave enough to share your innermost workings of your mind and your madness.

May you always remember, even when you're in the depths of despair or in a manic high, that you can and will rise again to fight the fight. All mankind has been cursed and blessed, or , as you say "fucked" in one way or another. But I believe that you are a wise soul who has, early in life, found that your disorder does not have to own you. You do not have to allow bipolar disorder to own you.

Once I learned that lesson--and it took me ten years and a suicide attempt to have this epiphany--I was able to take control over my illness and not allow it to control me.

Many blessings to you in life as well as with your memoir. There can never be enough books on this subject. Thank you for sharing your "crazy" story with me.

Backed,
Janine
Fellow Crazy Person

brilliant title and a brave account of a difficult subject - a most compelling, eye-opening, and lyrical read

the relentless nature of what you describe is bleak, but not to the extent it would put readers off, or desensitise them, which would mean some of the impact is lost.

this is why the lighter moments are also important (the Ellen DeGeneres quote, for example, and times when describing friends and parties) but would suggest you listen carefully to the rhythm of the darker sections to see where a lift is needed – difficult, of course, with an autobiography, but something i think worth considering

the journal entries are all the more effective for their brevity – they are poetic and clearly carefully crafted – and in their own way also interrupt the dark rhythm at appropriate times . so this is another area of great strength and sensitivity . .

overall this is a gripping and painful read – i read on to later chapters, including the last, where i saw there is an uplifting momentum and a positive conclusion... all of which should help make this book a commercial viability, which is a consideration

shelved for bravery, lyrical qualities and informative read which will surely resonate with anyone suffering from bipolar disorder – i wish you well with this

freddie
("honour")

F*cked: Memoir of a Mind on Fire is a powerful and very moving story, Lorcan. You are still in your early twenties, but there is a poetry in your writing which suggests that you will go far - I notice that you also have another story posted on the site, which is impressive.

I was instantly drawn to your story by the pitch, and once I started I was captivated by your excellent writing. OK - it's a difficult and heart wrenching set of experiences that you describe, but you do it so well. I hope you keep writing (relentlessly would be good) because you have a lot to say that man of us will want to read.

Backed with pleasure and best wishes - Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

Impossible to find fault with a life sstory. This one is relevant and interesting. Shelved

Thank you for sharing this. There is beauty and truth here, as well as pain.
Shelved, naturally.

Richard Maitland
(The Sex Stone of Agassia)

Well, this is very well-written.
It is a harrowing tale of a tortured mind, seeking some kind of release from an illness that is described with a professional hand.
The story is well crafted and the dialogue extremely well done.
Not quite my usual kind of read but put together so well it is gripping.
Excellent stuff,
Shelved.
best

Dear Lorcan,

I just finished the first chapter. Not an easy read I must say. I find it very interesting though as I can relate to the majority of issues you have when suffering from bipolar disorder. I'm diagnozed with ADHS and many, I mean many things you brought up, reminded me of my own experiences.
I would actually go that far to say you might have ADHS in combination with being highly skilled as there are some typical symptoms (being late, bored at school, good at stuff you really like etc.) shown as well. But I'm just a reader with some thoughts.

Very powerful read and on my shelf. Will read more.

With best wishes.

Nicole

Wow. What a great way to describe cutting: “The physical pain was like an interpreter, or a spokesman, for the emotional pain…” I really liked that. There is so much emotion poured into this. I felt like I was pulled in and riding the emotional tides with you. Impressive stuff. Shelved.

Amanda
Rescuing Liberty

Locran
This should be published.
What you have here is powerful and important writing. I am engrossed. You sir, are a giant. Bravo!
Shelved with pleasure
David
Green Ore

Hi Lorcan,

I have read some of Fucked and will continue with it. I won't review it though, as it is a memoir and most personal to you. Spelling and grammar loses all relevance compared to your generosity in sharing the true terror that any mental illness inspires in the sufferer.

Can I advise you to read "Under the Eye of the Clock" by Christopher Nolan? Albeit his set of challenges are completely different to yours: his physical disability (Quadraplaegic) is instantly obvious whereas your challenges are more insidious, you having good days and bad days. You might build up trust with others over a period of good days only for those links of trust to be broken by your bad days.

The central message of Nolan's book is the strength he got from writing about it as a reasonable human being and not the mental vegetable most able bodied people assumed him to be. To this end, I believe Fucked performs the same role for you.

I am in no position to offer you advice on managing your condition but I want to pass on the advice I received from my clients in EVE limited when I worked there.

If you strive to effect control over your 'present' then the past is largely over and the future can be built upon all those days of well managed 'presents'.

The best way to define yourself, I believe, is 'somebody managing a mental health problem'. This gives you the authority to take charge over the moods and voices, reactions and side effects. You are dealing with more than most other people. One in four people experience mental health difficulties in their lifetime so you're not alone and there is a vast pool of understanding out there for you to lean on when you need to.

I want to state that this pool is of 'understanding' not sympathy, pity or compassion. These things are OK but understanding is what we all need when we stray from the social mores and acceptable behaviours. Your book will be a great help to other people who are isolated by their difficulties but, most importantly, it will help you.

Be honest, say it as you see it. I have shelved Fucked and it will stay there even after I complete it.

By the way, having no diagnosis whatsoever, I have also had insistent thoughts repeating in my head at times when I was isolated and vulnerable - boarding school in Cork - homeless for a week in London - bankrupt in Carcassonne - the shaving head being like shedding a skin rings so true. Somethings we don't like to speak of because there is no fine line between mad and sane - it is a range of two extremes and we're all swimming in between one place or another.

Garalt Canton

I was drawn to this because of the work I do in high schools. I've seen this, although it's thankfully not common. And mis-diagnoses are, unfortunately, common. Very intense opening. I love how you're chronicalling this in the first person. Makes it real for the reader. Shelved. This should move right up the line. Great job.
Tom Mahon
"The First Daughter"

Very interesting stuff here. It's chaotic, but it's essentially something you can follow. It's interesting in reviewing this, because it's hard to tell whether some comments I have are deliberate functions of your first person, or whether it's stuff that needs considering.

The salvia scene was very effective I have to say. I could picture it all perfectly. At the end of the first chapter you have a good sense of who this character is. I'm going to read on soon, and I'm putting it on my shelf just now.

Regards,

James

This is a very important memoir about the struggle with Bipolar. It's hard to read, but powerful nonetheless. Shelved.

Lorcan, I backed this last night. My three siblings all went into mental health care in one way or another for their chosen professions. I used to think I did in a small way, as a teacher. This is so well written and illuminating and I think it's important that it should do well.
Best wishes
Elinor
In it for the Holidays

Great stuff Lorcan!!! BACKED!!!!
Simon

Hi Lorcan
This hauntingly beautiful work deserves a prime place on my shelf. Your style is conversationally personal, and draws the reader in to read on. I particularly like the references to various lyrics which give another aspect of grounding in the reality of a particular time and place in recent history.
With best wishes
Lorelli

In the first paragraph you use the word "wonder" four times...I wonder if you could use another word? I like this style of story telling, it's realistic. Backed.

Hi Lorcan, thank you for pointing me in the direction of this deeply personal, touching, scary, intense but ultimately beautiful and brave piece of writing.

Yopu have such a wonderfully evocative style but it feels wrong somehow to use the word wonderful to refer to something that was obviously so painful and real.

You have captured that self-doubt and feeling of inadequacy that all artists feel at some point....you don't see the good things that come...only the bad and they grow and take on a life of their own until they seem to swallow you. You are not alone.

I am not going to critique this from a grammatical or technical point of view, I am simply going to say this has real meat and grit and sadness...it is real and it is honest....and to be honest I didn't notice anything to nitpick because I was to busy being fully engaged by it.

Shelved

Rachael
'Falling Through'

On a personal note - I've read a ton of bio's and factual books about BP, being BP myself. Touched by Fire was good, for what it was worth, but impersonal. This feels like your heart and soul has gone into it, and I was amazed by how brave this is, but also, the quality of the writing.

On the writing - towering, sometimes. Maybe too much so, for a wider audience. But, that said, I think this will be niche - sorry, and obviously my opinion only. I think it's a beautiful piece of writing. If Stephen Fry had written this it'd be a best seller...it might stil be. I don't know shit.

This is by far the best piece of writing on BP, which stands alone, irrespective of the subject matter. I think you have real talent as a writer. I would be careful of alienating a less literary-capable audience, but this is *your* story, and I think if you tone it down it would probably detract, and then it wouldn't be true, would it?

I sincerely hope this finds an audience, and if not, save it for when some of your other books get published. When you've got a famous name, this'll sell through the roof.

As with all my comments on everyone's work - please feel free to ignore me!

Thumbs up,

Craig

You have set yourself a huge challenge - to write from the point of view of a manic-depressive. By the nature of the illness your style should swing from mania (short, often disconnected, frantic sentences) to the depressive (endless sentences - occasionally with an end missing, and often with little idea where they are going.) So tough to try to take the reader with you on this roller-coaster.
Most of the time, this is convincing - but I wonder if writing this in the present tense would help you as a writer be more 'present' in the terrifying world you are describing, as well as helping to draw the reader into it. Having said that - if you are writing about personal experience, I would suggest that writing in the first person is a very bad idea as living your condition and writing it at the same time might tip you over an unpleasant edge. The very best of luck with this, j
The Storm Drain

Hello Lorcan,
what a fitting surname you have. I have only read the first chapter of your book, and have to say I related entirely to the character. Not everyone will, of course, so I’m not sure how objective my critique of your work would be. I am a sensitive, moody fecker, and so reading such a depressive work may have had the effect of dragging me into an abyss of despair. It didn’t though, the poetry weaving its way through your story provided a protective cushion, upon which I floated until the end of the chapter, and so I may feel brave enough to read some more. All the very best of luck to you, Martin.

This is intense and beautifully written.
From opening with Nirvana to mentioning Gia (whom I adore -- I've read so much about her) to Van Gogh (my favourite artist) this is EXACTLY my cup of tea. It's "Call Me Anna" and "An Unquiet Mind" combined but also its own thing entirely. It's yours and it's great!
Your words are awesome and your descriptions are perfect. You make the reader feel (or not feel) everything that's going on. It's a hard thing to do and you've done it well. Amazing work! I can't rave enough.
On my shelf for sure!!!

-Eden*
(The Abandoned Edge of Avalon)

“Sometimes I wonder how I came to this point.” So does the reader. This is a good starting sentence since the reader starts to wonder along how did I get here, where am I, is this my beautiful house, and is this my beautiful wife? Just like an old Talking Heads song. And, of course, many other questions flood the mind of the concerned young individual of today. Like in an old song by Frank Zappa.

“I would simply keep on sinking,” you and/or your protagonist writes. We all simply keep sinking if we want to think of it in those terms, or we keep rolling the rock up the hill since there is a rock, there is a hill, and we have the time to do something. At least it gives us some exercise. That is what your writing does and that is what my writing does.

The one major complaint I have is that the first entry is a little long for me to get done today, so I’m putting this on my shelf to read another day. Good luck, your writing is full of a lot of good imagery, good dialog (when you use it), and good description of the people and high school setting. Mostly, though, your sentences are crafted quite proficiently with some intriguing lines: “I was an exposed, sparking wire and all I was looking for was just one decent puddle to flip my destruction switch.”