Hi Cara,

Great opening chapter full of drama.

Pilot captured by unknowns and an HRT team on its way. Glad you mentioned what HRT meant in my wife’s world it means Hormone Replacement Treatment and somehow that didn’t make any sense. From a hundred miles an hour we accelerate – nicely written.
With the introduction of Jon it slows to a moderate pace. The jigsaw has yet another piece to fit.

The Praise Jesus Ranch is surrounded by everyman and his dog – so what do they want?

Good writing to include the ex lover angle it can create situations.

All I can say is, exciting, gripping, and well written.

Backed.

Ron S

You Can’t Hide Forever.

Wow, this first chapter is really absorbing. I love the mix of exposition and dialogue. She does a great job of making us want to read the background information so that we can get back into the action of the story. Kudos to you, Cara.

Well researched and pacy. Hope you can keep the page turning going. Story nicely moved along by diaglogue.

I don't agree with Sivia's suggestion about spelling out HRT the first tiem its used. From my own experience three-letter alphabet soup abounds today, in both the States and in the UK, and most readers of the genre will have a good idea, pretty soon into the story, what that particuñar set is about. Thie need to wxplain this is almost overwriting.

Just WOW, Cara! Why is this even here? It should be with a publisher. Scary, gritty, realistic as anything I've read - plane crashes, kidnappers, and the threat of some emotional confrontations to go with the action... Yowch, your writing packs some punch as well as being vibrant and original. On my Watch list. I have to come back.

Favourite moments/phrases: 'I've got a problem here-'. 'moonlight carved a white light'. 'do you copy me?' *gulp* 'sheer teethbusting terror'. 'drizzle of her ambient music'. 'leaving only sharp silence'. 'aggressive as a guard dog'. 'flushing with vitriol and testosterone'. 'a tourniquet on her emotions'. 'jazzed through the architecture'.

Picky suggestions: Could you spell out HRT the first time you mention it, as I thought she's a bit young for Hormone Replacement Therapy (That's what it means in the UK)? 'foreboding premonitions' is that slightly redundant? If you could describe your main protagonists without using mirrors, you'd get extra brownie points ;o)

This author has definitely done her research! The radio language and banter between the FBI agents is spot-on. Very well written. Great use of dialogue and scene descriptions. I can feel a sense of impending..... not doom, but... collision. Jon and Julia, the agents and the militia.... I would definitely like to read more!