Lord Tom - The Bare Fist Fighter

This is everything I love in a novel, a grimy gritty realistic portrayal of Georgian life. The historical details are done really well, and everything sets the scene wonderfully so you feel yourself in the heart of the action. The tension and suspense you can use in a boxing scene is there for the taking, and you do just that, playing the scenes out incredibly well. The dialects are shown mildly, but not overdone, which is good, and the characters are strong and believable. This is one I intend to come back to and read in greater detail. Shelved with pleasure and I hope to find it in a bookshop in the not too distant future.

A cracking great read. Love it! Wonderfully recreated period piece that packs a wallop!

Excellent descriptions of a far more violent world than we are used to today. Very authentic feel and lots of realism. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

I am interested in reading this since one of my books is a true story about Iran Barkley. I found your summary to be very intriguing. Looking forward to reading. Please take a look at my boxing book as well.

Looks like you've given up on the site Henry...that's too bad. This is so much fun.

It is at once polished and raw. Usually I dislike dialect, but you do it well,and usually I dislike violence, but you do that well, too. I'm a historian so I appreciate the research, and all of the details tucked in here and there so carefully. Backed happily (and check out my horse)

i read the first 3 chapters, this is very good. I found it exciting though maybe that is because I happen to have a personal interest in fighting - I did boxing and karate at different times, and one my friends is a 15-stone cage fighter(!) I thought the structure and development were superb and the actions scenes thrilling. Well done! Definitely backed and I will be recommending this story to others

Hi Henry,
What a convincing story teller you are. Pushed my right into your world, worrying about Tom and Sally - shelved

I do have some issues with your writing. You like to tell us what's going on rather than let us find out for ourselves. A good example is right at the beginning where you tell us that Tom gets insults from the brothers when you could just have shown us by the events that happen.

If this was my book I would go through it tightening it as much as possible. Do I need to tell them this? (e.g. does anybody care what they guy does for a living? Does it move the story along?) Can I show it instead?

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

I don't think I have read anything like this before.
Tom is an MC I could fall in love with, one I WOULD fall in love with if I could curl up with this book. THe most important quality he posseses that I found myself drawn to is that he has heart. THis is a brawling great read. It is rough, dirty and left me feeling gritty. But there is also a undertone of love here. A caring that I couldn't ignore. The first couple chapters are chalked full of tension and suspense. I am thrilled that I found this.
Backed,
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

A very well-drawn tale. I was immediately sympathetic to Tom, and despise Meggs.

You do have run-on sentences--read through again with an eye for those.

Also, the dialogue is sometimes lost in the action. Try moving the dialogue to a new line (at least when the preface is lengthy) and see if it flows better.

Backed.
Stuart Phillips
High Cotton

a fascinating and gripping tale set in an age far bloodier, more snobbish and cruel than our own, if also with an elegance and sense of propriety missing today .

tom masterson and his fellows are well drawn, a lot of effort has gone into creating this glittering and dirty world in full and peopling it with real men and women of flesh and blood .

one niggle, you write "his fiancé", i thought maybe his betrothed or his wife to be or something might sound more in period? (i'm no expert though) . .

this reads very easily and enjoyable .

blind bill and his urchins are good, and i like that you've built in a group of italian expatriates, too . and their idea of vendetta . . the world was global then, too, after all .

shelved, and wishing you well with it .

freddie
("honour")

As rich and in-depth a book as I have ever read! It really does astound me the quality of books on this site. Good luck with it.

Andrew

This is terrific stuff - it entertains and it educates, because bare-fist fighting was outlawed so long ago that we know very little about it. You've obviously researched your subject-matter well, and the quality of your writing does it justice. Please to have this on my shelf. Best wishes, Tony.

Excellent! I'm not quite sure what else to say. You've done your homework and delivered the goods.
Happy to shelve it.
Best wishes
Sue

Hello Henry, a very interesting read. This book appealed to me from the historical point of view and from the good story line. The writing is top drawer with well developed characters, a terrific plot and a solid pace. I loved what I read of it.
I'm also happy to give it a bit of time on my shelf.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Hi Henry this is a great story, I can't understand why it is not higher up the ranks. You painted this old world really well, I can visualise the fair, really well written. Your characters are also really well formed, Tom is a really good, a bit firey in a good way, also the irishman O'Connell is described really well and the underhand Meggs. It was completely different times and you have brought them to life. I am definitely putting this on my shelf.
Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Henry,
This is great writing. You make the fighting scenes seem so real. Great action! Don't know why but I laughed at the line, "Hit him your lordship!" The story draws like a magnet through the first three chapters where the reader is dying to know if Tom can beat the big guy. The images fly across the page and you deliver. The Rope a Dope strategy works every time. This is a fun read. Good luck with it.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

A great romp in a period setting, and well portrayed with fascinating details and lots of action. This has all the ingredients for a great historical novel. Good characters and dialogue. My only crit is the use of the tense - which I'm not sure what it's called, but where you always say 'had been' or 'had come' or 'had seen' - for example that last sentence of chapter one - for almost most of your descriptions - this makes for slightly cumbersome sentences, and you could cut all those 'hads' out and use the ordinary past tense to create a far more immediate interaction with the reader - it just makes it all seem further away than it is. If you get my drift!
But backed, no problem, for an entertaining read.

Great novel..shelved.
Tom , Will and Meggs are excellent
characters,
the story races off with the reader in tow,
the historical settings are well researched and thought out.
Congratulations..this is a really fun read.......Mikey

Great novel..shelved.
Tom , Will and Meggs are excellent
characters,
the story races off with the reader in tow,
thehistorical settings are well researched and thought out.
Congratulations..this is a really fun read.......Mikey

Lord Tom the Bare-Fist Fighter is a powerful and well-written story. You evoke the characters and their world strongly, and the narrative flows easily with plenty of action from the outset. This is a quality piece of work that deserves my backing.
A couple of things to think about for your next edit, though. Some of your sentences were uncomfortably long; shortening them makes the narrative sharper. And I suggest you should look for stronger hooks at chapter ends - if you finish on a point of tension or decision, you entice the reader into the next chapter to find out what happens. I felt C1 for example just stopped at no particular point of crisis, and C2 then took us into Tom's backstory.
Hope this helps. Best of luck.

This really feels like it's going somewhere and is going to pay off, which is a marvel in itself. Terrific concept for a book, and "perfect pitch" writing-execution so far. -Okamoto.

Hi Henry

This is excellent! The story just kept pulling me in, wanting to read more and more. The main problem of this site is, of course, that we have sod all time to fully read the books that really grab our attention. Which means that when one is published, we have to buy the bloody thing-which I fully expect expect to be doing with this one!

I'm more than happy to Shelve this for a period.

Anthony
('Houses of Sand')

Hi Henry.
You seem to have captured the atmosphere of 1795 very well. The sights and smells of the fair came through clearly. Tom is an appealing and interesting MC, with Meggs and O'Connell worthy antagonists. The fight scenes were also very well done, it's not always easy to make the reader feel involved but you achieved it.
As far as the text was concerned, I thought you had far too many exclamation marks. You could easily cut the vast majority.
'men that had known him..' should be *who*
and 'slimey' should be *slimy*.
But those are only small points. I really enjoyed what I read and would certainly read on. Shelved.
Cas.
KING'S ENVOY

o'Connel earned my comprmpt and Meggs was instantly despised. I couldnt help bu tside wiht TOm in all things. Well done. This is gritty and realistic.

This is your return read for Patricks Cuthbert. You are cheated a bit in the crit as Patrick is better than I, but my TSR is low so you are a winner there. Hope you are not too dissapointed. ;-)

Hi Henry

I have struggled through many manuscripts which have been hard work, although well written.

For me the story and the characters are what are key, not the elegant and clever prose so much appreciated by the more intellectual reader.

Although I have participated in most sports with varied success, I was far too weedy for boxing, so the subject was not something that would interest me. However your novel is an honest write, easy to read, and something that would be appreciated by the man in the street – i.e. the volume commercial market - which is surely what the majority of us are aiming at.

The point is that I kept reading, as it’s written in a style which appeals to my (not too demanding) taste – by which I mean the reader who wants a good read not an intellectual challenge!

Having been an IT Manager for most of my career it is a little odd that we have both moved into history when attempting to write!

I feel you have made a very good stab at it. It needs some honing, but I haven’t the skill base to advise on that.

Keep battling up the charts. I've put it on my shelf to read more of how Tom gets on.

Antonio

Dear Henry,

There is a lot to like here - the sense of place, the action, the energy & intensity of the sport which you convey so well, the excellent descriptions, the adventure...a very solid read. I love fast-paced historical fiction, and Tom is a wonderful protagonist. You build the conflict well and this is really rather enjoyable. Giving it a spin on my shelf to help get rid of your red arrow, Tom deserves to rise.

Best of luck with this, I know there's a market for this kind of story.

Melanie ~LORE~

Hi Henry,

This is an enjoyable read. Great vivid, descriptions, got a good picture of the setting and the characters. I do love fist fighting so I found this a fascinating read. Your portrayal of the time felt authentic. This story has a lot of energy and it flew off the pages.

Real characters and believable dialogue.

Very well written.

Shelved!

Shinzy :)

This was a double immersion for me: the historical setting as well as the underworld of fist fighting. The pitch caught my attention although this is not something I'd normally read and the story turned out to be gripping. A lot more human and accessible that I imagined books could be in this genre.

Shelved and good luck.

Don't have much in terms of suggestions, sometimes the dialogue felt a little modern, but that could be my impression because I'm not familiar with those times.

Wish you the best of luck with it
Dania (The It! Refugee)

I read a bit about fist fighting in G Heyers book "The Regency Buck" and took an interested in this sport, so naturally, I was drawn to your book. I'm glad I did! There's so much I'ved learned by reading even just the first three chapters.Your story is quite interesting and well written. I'll be reading more. I feel like I'm watching a BBC period drama while reading this story of yours.

Shelved with pleasure,
J.E.Wyatt
(The Runaway Courtesan)

Henry,

There is something about the era of bare-fisted prize fighting that makes for a good story. But it takes a great writer to keep my interest, and you have done just that. This is compelling and gritty. The relationship between Tom and Sally adds civility to this story, and the impending trouble with Meggs is an excellent premise.

You have a strong book here, and I'm backing.
Mark

This is everything I love in a novel, a grimy gritty realistic portrayal of Georgian life. The historical details are done really well, and everything sets the scene wonderfully so you feel yourself in the heart of the action. The tension and suspense you can use in a boxing scene is there for the taking, and you do just that, playing the scenes out incredibly well. The dialects are shown mildly, but not overdone, which is good, and the characters are strong and believable. This is one I intend to come back to and read in greater detail. Shelved with pleasure and I hope to find it in a bookshop in the not too distant future.

Hi Henry

Nice start - the conflict with the brothers throws us straight into Tom's world and introduces the main characters with a minimum of fuss. A well-described fight scene as well, focusing on the action and describing it in just enough detail.

If I have any quibbles it's that you maybe use Tom's name too many times, which distances the reader from him. Try substituting 'he', 'him', etc. wherever it's not ambiguous - pronouns are "invisible" words that allow the rest of the prose to flow more smoothly than when it is broken up by names. I would also excise some of the adverbs attached to speech tags, e.g. "... he added, spitefully". The dialogue itself (and the fact that the brothers are clearly picking on Tom) tells us the meaning - piling on unnecessary adverbs only weakens your writing.

Apart from that, very good - a bit of spit and polish and you've got something very interesting on your hands! Shelved, and I'm only sorry I don't have time at the moment to read more.

Evocative of time and place. You quickly and seemingly effortlessly take us into the world of lower class 18th century England. Your dialogue and characterization are right on.

I am going to put this on my WL and plan to read more later. Perhaps we can both find out way to backing each other's books, since we both seem to like them.

Hello henry,

An awesome story and a brilliant start at that. Tom walking in and being taunted by the brothers spoiling for a fight set the tone for what is to follow. It is a fast-paced story with an amazing plot and great descriptions. This well-crafted story deserves a place at the top.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

Your story is one that immediately appealed to me, and I was pulled in by the story right away. It’s lively from the start, with the banter and danger of an alehouse invoked immediately for the reader.

The first dialogue, between the two instigators, was well-crafted. It showed originality and authenticity to the time and place you’ve put us in. I was a bit less enthused about the dialogue involving Tom, Sal, and her father. This felt a little less realistic to me, possibly something I would not have second-guessed had the first exchange not had such a brilliant spark to it. You get judged by a harsher standard when you start out that fabulously!

The scenes in the fair have a great spirit to them—I can tell that you see these clearly and translate them well onto the page. I would make sure, though, that you aren’t only showing us these amusing sights, but also using them as conduit to the storyline. Perhaps show us a bit more of Sal and Tom here—how they interact with each other. I like what I’ve seen so far—especially Tom feeling protective of Sally—but could use more to fully see their motivation in wanting to marry despite her father’s wishes.

You create tension very well, both in the first fight scene and in the scene with Meggs at the fair. I’m enjoying the story we’re carried along on, only a tad unsure about the flashback we’re given in the midst of the action. This for two reasons—for one, it takes us out of the moment, which feels a bit unnatural. Two, you’ve made me want to find out what happens, and now I have to wait! Unfair :)

Tiny nitpick—if Sally’s father is upset with Tom for fighting, why has he agreed to be his second? I may have missed something, if so—excuse the silly question!

This story is lively and briskly told—very nice work! This is a book I’ll keep around to come back to and read more of when I need to escape for awhile with some very likeable characters with a fantastic story to tell.

Henry
I’m afraid I only had time to read chapter 1 but took some nitpicky notes as I read:
“…laughed out loud[.]…”
“Confident [of] his own strength[,] Daniel...”
“ ’…a lady’s ears[.]’ ”
“…her eye[.]’[I]f you are ready…’ ”
“…walked [into] the Dell.”
“ ‘…gentlemen[,]’ the man shouted…”
“ …the man continued[,] ‘And now…’ ”

Watch out for all the adverbs especially used after speech: “she said innocently” “eyed him suspiciously” – this is a sign of telling. Show us the attributes in other ways. Alternatively find another verb that expresses it without the need for an adverb.

Overall, there’s a good sense of period. In places things seemed very cold and passive, and I think that’s a combination of “telling” but also a natural effect of using the language of the day for dialogue. You handle the latter very well.
I also liked the way you ended chapter one, making the reader wonder about the advice to (hopefully this is relevant.

It’s on my shelf.
Chris (I Dare You)

Lord Tom...

I'm really surprised at how much I like this story. I'm another one who really doesn't like boxing, but in a way, the boxing is only a small part of the real story. You might not feel that way, of course, but I love Tom and his relationship with Sally.

I usually have some nits to point out, but not this time. I was too engrossed.

Shelved soooo enthusiastically.

Cheers,
Sheryl
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

I apologize for the delay in commenting you. You have a gift for words, my friend. You are staying on my WL so I can read more later. You'll get to the editor's desk for sure! I am shelving you for the brilliant writing you offer us readers. This is your vision in print, and the writing is spot on.

If you have not read/commented, possibly back my book yet, please take a moment out and do that soon. Cheers!
JC

Fights are tough to write -- but you do it well, sir. This one had me hooked in from the word go, and though I've only made it through the first couple of chapters, I'm glad to put it on my shelf. It's an interesting time to set the story, and I'm a big fan of your MC. The only suggestion I have is a few rogue commas here and there, which is more a matter of a quick copy edit (which everyone needs at some point) than a problem. Otherwise, clean, compelling, and fantastic.

Shelved, of course.

Henry this is extremely entertaining and with sympathetic characters and a good punch up there's no going wrong. I like Lord Tom enough to back, good luck with it! Rob (The land of many Rivers)

great read,an old victorian type piece,it was something new for me,but i enjoyed it

Dear Henry, It may be partly because of your protagonist’s nickname, but your very compelling story reminds me somewhat of a medieval romance: Tom is like a young noble who has been trained to fight by an older, more experienced knight in preparation for a quest, in this case tracking down Meggs. Instead of a lance and sword, he has, as you say, “only his bare hands,” but he’s won a kind of tournament and been given a reward: he’s been knighted, so to speak, and now he’s ready for actual combat, no holds-barred, no Queensberry rules.

I’m at the end of Chapter 3, and I want to take a slight pause before continuing: the truth is, I’m afraid—you say “his world is abruptly turned upside down,” which I take to mean Meggs kills Sally, and I’m not looking forward to witnessing that. But at the same time I realize that her murder is essential to your narrative: Tom will have a clear, definite, incontrovertible motive for killing Meggs, as well as the reader’s full, unconditional support.

Maybe the parallel with a medieval romance still holds: a knight often goes on a quest on a lady’s behalf: Lord Tom seeks to kill Meggs to avenge Sally’s death.

As you can see, I’ve become very involved in your wonderful story, and how could I not?—the characters and events are so exactly and vividly described it’s impossible to be detached. Though I’m not a fan of boxing, bare fist or otherwise (I hate all the Rocky movies), I have to confess I was particularly impressed by Tom’s training and his fighting: you do a superb job of enabling the reader to visualize the action, to participate vicariously—and it’s such fun to root for Tom.

This should be published, then made into a movie, which will be far better that the Rocky stuff—more like Raging Bull and Millionaire Dollar Baby (I admit it: these I liked). You have a winner in Lord Tom. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

Lord Tom - The Bare Fist Fighter

Hi Henry, This is great stuff, we are there, back in the past, inside all of this action, nothing jags. You describe fight scenes extremely well, fluid action and excellent dialgoue, a great piece of historical fiction with some fantastic characterisation, well done - Andrew W.

Henry,

Excellent job on a setting from the past. Top-otch story. I'm enjoyong this and am happy to give it a go on my shelf.

Heidi

Henry, I've recently been reading a biog about Byron, and the tone of your book reflects the tone of his letters and comments about boxing. I think you've achieved something quite special and unputdownable.Backed.
Lynn

It's just like all the comments have said in resounding approval of your gifted work. A lot of fun to read, and marvelous writing throughout. I love historical fiction, and I have always wanted to go to London, so why not go there by reading your book; going back in time to a wondrous era that somehow reminds me of tragic stories made into musicals on Broadway and turned into movies with the likes of Johnny Depp and orphan boys with the audacity to ask "Please sir, could I have some more?" I think it will be on my shelf for a while.

Hi,
Read the first two chapters. A cracking good yarn, expertly told. The story line is fascinating and draws you into itself with ease.
The structure is cleverly concieved and the first chapter ends in exactly the right place, leaving the reader curious and suspended.
The characterisation is good although just occasionally there are some small things like in chapter one where O'Connell replies to Meggs by saying 'old chap', which seems distinctly un-irish.
The dialogue is very well done and realistic although you break it up a little more than I would have done since I tend to use 'he said' she said' rather more than beats of descriptive prose in between lines. It slows the pace if you break it up too much.
The pace of the over all tale is just right and the continuity is good too.
Some fans of historical fiction might suggest more description of place, smells, and scenes but I wouldn't write that way, why should you?
In summary an excellent story, well written should go far on this site,
Best,
Fred (Swords across the Rhenus)

You pack a punch! A good read. Hoping you do well.
Yours in brevity
Ian

Henry - Lord Tom - The Bare Fist Fight is an entrancing story. I loved your cover, pitch and writing. The story starts well and we're soon gripped and wanting to know how it's going to work out between Tom, whom we empathise with and the nasty E\ekiel Meggs - great name! I'm backing this with pleasure and hope you might take a look at Weimar Vibes. Best wishes - Phil Rowan

Phil - Thanks for the backing. I'll add Weimar Vibes to my watch list to read - I'll come back to you when I can.
- Henry

Henry - Lord Tom - The Bare Fist Fight is an entrancing story. I loved your cover, pitch and writing. The story starts well and we're soon gripped and wanting to know how it's going to work out between Tom, whom we empathise with and the nasty E\ekiel Meggs - great name!

I'm backing this with pleasure and hope you might take a look at Weimar Vibes. Best wishes - Phil Rowan

Charming book!
I'm backing it!
Patricia

Lord Tom
Henry....if only there were more hours in my day. I only had time to read a little, but I will be back. I think you're tone and voice are wonderful. What a story teller you are. Realistic dialog as well. Shelved.
If you get a chance check out Riley's Gift - my YA novel.
Thanks! I'll be back. ~Krista Darrach

Krista, Thanks, glad you liked it. I'll put Riley's Gift on my watch list to read later. - Henry.