The Doctor of Summitville

~The Doctor of Summitville~

This is a carefully thought out and very well researched novel! The sentences are constructed by a true wordsmith and the essence of the era is captured perfectly through the use of such vivid imagery (ie. 'he was a quiet man and his life inspired no monuments' and '...bituminous smoke swept him in waves...')!

I am immediately swept up by the ensuing events from the train wreck and the coup d'état between Jim and Annette. And it's not long before we're introduced to a number of 'scandals and social conditions,' including adultery, incest and cradle-snatching!

Once you begin reading The Doctor of Summitville, you can't help but picture a classic black and white Hollywood movie with Jim being played by the likes of a young James Stewart and Annette by Jean Simmons. It really is beautiful! It's like an Edward Hopper painting come to life.

This stylish read set before, during and after the Great Depression, truly deserves to be published! 6 stars for one of the best books I've read on Authonomy so far!

Iman xxx

Miss Manners: http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

Doc Martin is great, an interesting read.
Fast and pithy, full of great narrative and excellent dialogue.
Your minimalist style really works, with just the right amount of everything to draw the plot along.
I especially like the prologue that set the book off nicely.
Action, tension, humour, this book has it all.
I enjoyed reading it.
Well done.

Bill, this is every bit as good as I remember from the first reading, and now with the editing touches you've employed, it's better than I ever thought possible. Your use of period detail is fascinating without being obtrusive in the narrative. Every character, no matter how small their part, has a life of his or her own, including every patient from the terrible train wreck.

I love the narrative or journalistic summaries - like the Prologue. The one at the end of ch.2 gives a life all its own to the story's period, to storytelling as a whole.

ONE thing there - the Prologue. It does read so beautifully, but I wonder if you're giving an awful lot away. I'll suggest you stop it at "Until the killing". (Period instead of ellipsis.) Then I'd use the last two paras somewhere at the end of the book. Just my thoughts on it. In fact, I'd almost be tempted to use it for the Pitch... It has such *voice*.

Another thing in ch.1 -- I remember this from before! But when Jim meets the *young girl*, I think perhaps he notices too much of her looks in the midst of all the chaos. Perhaps he could simply be annoyed with himself at noticing just the fact she's pretty? I'd maybe use the description of her - the full lips, white teeth, clothes, when he meets Duval and says "There's a family resemblance." Use that silence for him to take in these details.

During Jim's work on the train, we live it with him, and those touches of period troubles, as with Jim thinking he'll have to employ methods he'd heard worked in the trenches of France a sublime and sad note.
Nice chapter ending, too.

In ch.2, at Our Savior Hospital, we confront the chaos there with him, the problems Dr. Archer faces against Director Weber, the state of the victims - those indigent patients they are afraid to treat for admin. (i.e. money) purposes. Then we discover the Ant problem... What a touch! Chapter ends with that divine piece of journalistic dryness sorely missed today.

In ch.3 we learn about his father, Everett - and dog Jason (of the golden fleece)... and of Jim's wife, Margaret. We haven't met her yet, but how large she looms. No wonder Jim thinks fleetingly of the girl, only to have his father mention the Blanche Du Bois of the neighborhood, Violet. When we meet her, she's every small town's femme fatale, and yet in so few words, she's as sad as Blanche, and by her husbands words, we want to protect her.

In ch.4, we are back with the girl, Annette, her uncle, and we learn about her. I can see their *bond* growing. By the end of the chapter, back at the hospital, we can feel Jim's anger at the treatment his patients have had to endure. The tensions that will undoubtedly lead to a lot of trouble.

That's as far as I've got tonight, and I am engrossed.

I can see a man in Dr. Jim Martin becoming as revered a classic character in literature as Atticus Finch.

Already six-starred, so I can give no more except another ride on my shelf as soon as the mechanics of this site allow.

From Kay-Christina (*Annacara*) with the utmost admiration and respect.

THE DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE / Bill Carrigan

From the moment I began to read this book I knew I was in the presence of greatness. Mr. Carrigan is a very talented storyteller, his writing displaying a unique style and voice.

I feel I have read quality work when I just simply read. That is what I did here. As a writer who truly loves reading as much as writing, I don't look as hard for flaws or stumbling parts. I just absorb the stories as they were meant be recieved. The flow of this story is smooth, the author's craft being very consistent throughout. There is a simplicity here that defines the writing, sort of like books from the 50's and 60's in American Literature.

Mr. Carrigan displays clearly that he is a clever individual with knowledge of many things in his writing. His romance scenes are tasteful, scene descriptions are thorough and economical and he is a master of language as is constantly displayed. What I liked especially was how I would think this story would appeal to a wide audience because of the encompassing of so much subject matter. It would make a great 'Lifetime' movie.

There are certain lines that really jump out at the reader because they are saturated with elequent wording. "The moon bathing the yard" or something like that, phrases like this are continually making me stop and just admire this gifted writer's literary genuis.

The plot is skillfully advanced with each chapter. This is another of the things that make me realize I am reading the work of a brilliant author who understands pace and is able to 'feed' just enough as he goes to keep flow generated. I did note the unique way the narrative shifts at times but found that it enhances the way the story is told.

Being a mystery writer, I have to mention that we know how hard it is at times to keep from exposing weaknesses in detail and have to go back and 'fix' things like little details that a reader may percieve as a flaw. Mr. Carrigan once again displays his incredible skill by mentioning (usually quite casually) the detail points to avoid overscrutinizing of his plot. In CH18 for example he mentions that the cottage where Schmitz is has its view of the house where Anette is blocked by trees. Jim is 'rolling off' his car to avoid detection but has to wave at Schmitz on the way out, hoping he will assume he was making a house call. Very clever. It is little things like this that I noticed throughout the manuscript that convinced me I was not reading the work of just a writer with an idea for a story.

(Earlier in the CH there is a mistake: When they wake up in bed at Annette's you say that he is looking down at her asking himself a question. Go back and read that and I think you will see what I mean.)

The writing was so well-polished this was the only thing I caught. I really enjoyed The Doctor of Summitville so much I can say it is one my favorite reads in years. Great story. I even gain some insight on certain things I might do woth my own writing as a result of reading it.

6 stars for this wonderful work, truly one of the best five books on Authonomy.

E M Delaney

HF Review

I've read the first three chapters of the novel and found very capable and strong writing with a slightly unique slant on construction. With the prologue and the interlude between two chapters (1&2) it is as if the town is the omnicient viewpoint and then during the chapters it descends to third person. Such an approach seems almost film like to me. In such a set up we're led to believe this is an examination of Dr. Martin and his life as the country doctor, someone who is naturally privy to various confidences and intrigues of the town. As in classic novels (Middlemarch, Cranford) the doctor's behaviour is up for scrutiny and also speculation. This doctor we see is a somewhat careful, and though when faced with the train wreck he might experience a brief moment of nerves he negotiates the emergency with slow precision almost. In the hospital he doesn't "grab" or "throw" on his gown to give the sense of haste, he "dons" his gown. With such careful thought we sense he wouldn't be a man to rush headlong into tricky situations, but pause and reflect. Yet he is compasionate. At the end of chapter 1 he reflects that when observing the French girl it might have been her hesitation that planted a seed of caring in his mind. (Great line). He still tends to Violet and tries to help her, even though she is obviously beyond his skill. His wife he enables in her alcoholism by avoiding mentioning or "preaching." This is not your natural hero per se, but one that can grow into a role and we wonder how it will happen.

This is a good character study that unfolds and though as yet I can't see any tension or thriller aspect I am very ineterested to see how that will take shape. Your style is very deft and the logistics so clear in the emergency scene that we can follow everything without any confusion. The backstory is not oppressive and overloaded so the pace is not slowed down. You give us just enough description so that we can give a backdrop to the scene we're seeing, especially the crash scene. Very well written. Kristin

I've read the first two chapters of your book, and really enjoyed it! I like the Doctor, and the way he handled the accident and the way he handled the head of the hospital. I only found one stumbling point, and that was in the opening paragraphs, when you were speaking of the Hudson and how Margaret (I think that was her name) loved the blue color.....that threw me off. I had to read it several times before I understood that the car was blue and it was chosen by Margaret. You may want to insert who Margaret is....such as his dead wife, mother, sister, etc. It doesn't say who she is and why he allowed a woman to choose his car. Otherwise, it is a very good book and no wonder it is in the top 20!

I'm giving you 6 stars!

Sincerely,
D. S. Hale
Jessup and the Teleporter

I've read the first five chapters. It flows really well and has an enticing plot. I can't wait to read more.

Wow what a fantastic first few chapetrs. You jump right into the action and keep on going. The story is very well written and grips you right away. I was on the edge of my seat. You medical descriptions are great. You either did a lot of research or you must work in the field. I only have one suggestion. I noticed you have a habit of using the word "had" a great deal:

Meanwhile, the ambulance had set out with a full load. It would weave through Summitville’s narrow streets before making its long run to the city. Cars and trucks bearing casualties had already left, and other ambulances had been called. Jim greeted two doctors who had arrived from Carroll.

I would suggest just deleting them. Most of the time they are not needed.

Great job. I love the story. Six stars to this one for sure!

Hi Bill,

I really enjoyed this. No frippery or tricks, just storytelling of the highest order. And what a fine story it is, too.

Not much I can add to the preceding 437 comments and I certainly don't have any crit to offer. It is one of the few books on here that deserves its high ranking (although it should be higher!) and even more remarkable given the modicum of promo it has been given.

Top stuff.

When my current commitments end, I will try and devote some shelf space to help with the run-in to ED.

Best,

Terry

~The Doctor of Summitville~

This is a carefully thought out and very well researched novel! The sentences are constructed by a true wordsmith and the essence of the era is captured perfectly through the use of such vivid imagery (ie. 'he was a quiet man and his life inspired no monuments' and '...bituminous smoke swept him in waves...')!

I am immediately swept up by the ensuing events from the train wreck and the coup d'état between Jim and Annette. And it's not long before we're introduced to a number of 'scandals and social conditions,' including adultery, incest and cradle-snatching!

Once you begin reading The Doctor of Summitville, you can't help but picture a classic black and white Hollywood movie with Jim being played by the likes of a young James Stewart and Annette by Jean Simmons. It really is beautiful! It's like an Edward Hopper painting come to life.

This stylish read set before, during and after the Great Depression, truly deserves to be published! 6 stars for one of the best books I've read on Authonomy so far!

Iman xxx

Miss Manners: http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

A great read, I would highly recommend to anyone! Very interesting, well written, and a great flow of writing style!
Thanks,
Scott Trimas
The Chimera Factor

Hello Bill,

I’ve read the first three chapters and I’m very impressed. The dramatic opening is great and pulls the reader right in.

When Jim is driving towards the wreck the narrator gets very close to his consciousness, which works well. The line: ‘One fleeting thought led to another’, pulls the narrator way back for a split second, which seems too abrupt. I’m not sure that line is necessary.

The mysterious way you introduce Annette is excellent.

I thought the line: ‘Her skill in applying first aid continued to puzzle him’ was a bit redundant for we’d seen that already.

You make tense exchanges of dialogue very plausible, such as the exchange with Duval, and then Weber. In that scene I’m not sure you have to tell us Jim is angry, because it’s shown to good effect.

I love how you mix up the dialogue with direct and indirect, and the small descriptions of details to give natural beats for the reader, particularly in the conversation with his father.

And Jim’s visit to Violet and his quick thinking with her husband makes him seem very complex and intriguing.

I’m looking forward to reading more.
Best of luck with it,
Andrew.
The Morning Drop

Very engaging writing. The characters are very convincing and engaging. The minimal style works so well with the content. An enjoyable, interesting novel.

Doc Martin is great, an interesting read.
Fast and pithy, full of great narrative and excellent dialogue.
Your minimalist style really works, with just the right amount of everything to draw the plot along.
I especially like the prologue that set the book off nicely.
Action, tension, humour, this book has it all.
I enjoyed reading it.
Well done.

Hello Bill,
Just read chaps 1 and 2.
Great start and well managed narrative that never becomes overwhelming. The accident scene is skillfully relayed with deft details that don't hinder the flow.
The romantic element is drawn well and the reader developes great great deal of empathy for the MC.
I realise you are an experienced writer and I'm reticient to criticize however, I think the MCs internal thoughts are overplayed unnecessarily - 'echoes of tension', 'a seed of caring in his mind' and later 'impression of poor management' all seem too forced in my opinion. The reader can 'get' all this from the narrative without it being stated directly.
The MC has integrity enough through his actions. The conflict with the head hospital medic veers alittle towards cliched characterization - uncaring/money obsessed administrator - which again I think is unnececessary.
Other than that this is very entertaining and I can see why it is so well backed.
My regards,
John
Dropping Babies.

Not totally sure about the prologue. I confess I have problems with the name Doc Martin because of the recent U.K. television show. I’m also struggling a bit with the style of the prologue, which, in my opinion, might benefit from a bit of a polish to eradicate the less fluid sounding sentences. I’m also not sure what benefit there is in sign-posting the story up front, but that may become clearer later.

A solid, dramatic start to chapter one. The chapter and the prose flowed smoothly. I wondered whether it needed a little more internal response from the doctor after the initial emotional response to the challenge. Ironically, though I though, I wasn’t sure that the “seed of caring” at the chapter end was really necessary. It was implied , so why state it?

There is some useful historical and local background in the chapter which helps to develop the narrative.

Chapter two continues the drama. For my taste, I wanted to feel more of what Doc Martin was feeling, get inside his head a little more – I guess it’s the old chestnut of more show, less tell. As it was, things felt a little distant and I was left thinking that more immediate sights, sounds, smells, tastes and other physical sensations as well as emotional responses to the same ( or intellectual ones if more appropriate) would have gone down well. I felt I wanted to be in it, rather than observe it, if that makes sense?

J.S.Watts
Witchlight

Hi Bill

Will definitively have a nose through this as I have a few spaces on my book shelf and WL. Would you be so kind as to have a quick look at my book - The List. Feel free to leave a comment.
ta very much.

David J Baron

I enjoyed this!

Excellent writing. Doc Martin is a strong character and you get right into action that displays his likeable traits and hints at the coming romance and tensions. The confrontation with the hospital administrator is another good example of his patient-first attitude. That's refreshing to see.

This works well as a historical thriller. I'll back it. My only concern is that, by putting the entire novel on here, you could have a problem with signing a publishing deal. Some publishers don't want something that has been posted for free already. I could see there being a market for this.

Good luck,

Brian Bandell
Mute

Your gorgeous writing put me right there with Doc Martin as he worked his way through the train. I like your careful handling of his meeting with the young nurse, his dismay when her uncle hustles her away. The accident provides not only the catalyst for their meeting, but also a wonderful glimpse of the skill, personality, and concerns of the good young Doc.

I like how there’s a brief mention of the car having been his wife’s preference, when clearly he needs to have a different vehicle. I also like your brief mention of the Great War well before he encounters the young nurse.

I can easily imagine picking this up from the shelf of my local Barnes & Noble, reading a few paragraphs, and taking it along home.

Your gift is writing; my gift is the ability to pick nits—more of a curse in most settings but oddly acceptable here on Authonomy—and I found very few to pick here. I wondered if the word ‘commuter’ was really used in 1927. When Doc Martin meets with the other doctors, you write, “Again the smile…” and I couldn’t find an earlier smile. I am not quite sure what you meant when you said that two disasters had struck. Isn’t the fact that the accident overwhelms the hospital just a continuation of the first disaster? But these remind me of nits I’ve picked with published, well-loved works. “He smiled at the unintended connection…” it took me some effort to figure out that you meant in her earlier dialog. See—I have a gift for finding nits. “Like accreditation? Indigent patients?” Indigent must be capitalized.

Best wishes to you in your climb to the desk-
~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Great writing. You have a "less is more" style that's really working for you. Only crit I'd have is really only my opinion - and that is I think its not necessary to mention the "spark of caring" for the girl at the beginning ... think you accomplish the attraction without having to say it ... and saying it might reduce its value.

Great writing. You have a "less is more" style that's really working for you. Only crit I'd have is really only my opinion - and that is I think its not necessary to mention the "spark of caring" for the girl at the beginning ... think you accomplish the attraction without having to say it ... and saying it might reduce its value.

Bill, here are my comments so far.

I like the prologue. It sets a kind of small-town gossipy scene, your protagonist’s life being looked at through others’ eyes. I do think ‘Until the killing’ would make a better last line, a real hook. Could the final two paras be incorporated earlier or removed altogether?

Incidentally, as a UK reader ‘Doc Martin’ instantly makes me think of the TV series. I don’t know whether that bothers you, being in the USA, but I just thought I’d mention it as a perhaps unintended resonance for your international audience :-)

Chapter 1 starts with a train accident – a great dramatic opening. But I felt I wanted a little more from Jim in the way of reaction. The phrase ‘alert to an ominous chain of sounds’ in the first sentence, for instance, neither gives me an idea of what this sound is actually like nor shows the shock and panic that hearing it would surely evoke. I think you could really grab your reader by the throat if you made this opening a little more immediate. But I may be talking from the standpoint of my own preferences as a reader and a writer here, so feel free to ignore me.

Once you get into the train wreck I felt it became a lot more gripping. It did cross my mind that surely someone must already have called the ambulance, given that Jim is by no means first on the scene. But other than that I enjoyed reading this, and the encounter with Annette and the question over her wellbeing at the end provides the impetus to read on.

Chapter 2, and the conflict between Jim and the hospital authorities, is a great way of showing what kind of person Jim is – I really warmed to him here, much more even than in the first chapter. And I like the continuation of the ‘prologue’ narrative style as a framing device. Sometimes I felt as though you were summarising events rather than fully getting inside Jim’s head – the exact times that certain things happened, for example, give that impression – but again, I think this is just your chosen writing style conflicting slightly with my own preferences.

I have to be honest and say this is not the kind of book I would usually read. But setting my own idiosyncrasies aside, I can see that this is a well-written book and I can imagine that it would certainly appeal to its target audience – as its high ranking demonstrates.

Beautiful read, the characters jump off the page - Duval is the uncle I had, a farmer of Maize and tobacco, he too would usually spit more than speak! I enjoy the way the sexual tension is building and the play is pitched just right for that era. People in those remote communities really did have persistent chronic mental problems, I remember my folks talking about people, (usually women) with 'Nerves'. You have captured the time very well and I will commend your work to my friends on authonomy.
One tiny point - Chapter 2 'administrative man' kind of jars - I would have written 'administrator'.
Excellent stuff! Well done

regards

Cyrus

Evocative, eloquent and engaging - This is a polished work that immediately draws the reader in to the time and place - I was sitting beside Doc Martin as he careered down the dirt track towards the crash site. The first chapter reads like you have actually witnessed a train crash first hand. I really enjoyed the first opening and will continue to read. I'll give you five stars for now but am confident that this work will make six.
Small point - there is a TV show here called Doc Martin, I mention that just as a heads-up but you are probably already aware of that.
I would appreciate a few comments on Hellion 3 when you have a moment.

Well done!

regards

Cyrus

Well, Bill, I've put myself in the position of anyone who picks up "The Doctor" in a library or bookshop, as they certainly will, samples it, and takes it straight home to read right through. We don't usually have that privilege on Authonomy, but I found myself so drawn in that for once I gave into the temptation. I was enthralled by the subtly woven strands of the plot; and your sheer breadth of knowledge of so many facts and details relevant to the story in its period - plus the poignant, often poetic, experiences of heart and mind - put me right in the midst of it all - "in medias res", to quote classical authority. It simply reads like an eye-witness account, but from within.
My words tumble out. Action! Backed as before, and highest Stars!
David Grant,
"Pompey Chimes"

Received wisdom is don't bother with a prologue, unless it's really, really good. Well, yours is. I'm glad I didn't skip it. "Until the killing" - foreshadowing, but vague enough to keep us guessing. "Since the girl was a beauty, we men had little to say" - insightful.
You have a good command of language, and that's a pleasure to see. However, there was something that didn't quite grab me, and I was wondering what it was - I think it might be the "show don't tell" thing. You do a lot of summarizing - straight forward telling of the action - "He spied his young helper - the man insisited - she knelt..." - could you show us that through dialogue, infuse some description and characterisation? That would make it less dry for me. Then again, I'm just an unpublished novelist- so it's quite possible that I don't know what I'm taking about! Feel free to ignore anything that isn't helpful!

Bill, I have very much enjoyed what I have read so far. You have started the story off well with the action of the train crash gripping the reader. I also think you have used short sentences to good effect. Your prose brings the story and characters to life. I think you have been able to set the foundation for the relationship between the characters with the use of few words (in my opinion a sign of a good story teller). I will read on to see how the story unfolds - gladly backed.

Shuhin - Lost Reunions.

Historical Fiction Writers Review:

The Doctor of Summitville

This is my second visit and it’s no wonder this book has garnered well over 400 comments. This book will reach the shelf in no time!

Young Dr. Jim Martin meets his first challenge—a train wreck. Rushing to help the injured, we are instantly transported to the era with visuals of a 1920’s steam engine, bells and whistles and thick smoke that leaves soot on your cheeks. Stimulated by the accident, it’s not hard to smell the smoke and ‘see’ the disaster. Orderlies with a stretcher and wounded passengers give a daunting picture of the chaos, and a hook that conveys the likelihood of a nurse or medically trained personnel on board. The writing is smooth, rich and easy to read.

A young midwife sets about to help Jim with the carnage and to nurse the injured. But she is dragged away unwillingly and Jim is troubled. He is also attracted to her, which for a married man in that period, reeks of impending disaster. Chapter 2 shows excellent research in the medical field bringing authenticity to the plot. Here we see a hospital badly managed and unsanitary and Jim’s apprehension as to the patients’ welfare. I like how Jim’s character is dissected and explored. We see a compassionate man who is not without his failings.

Chapter 3: We meet depressed Margaret whose unfortunate habit does not harmonize with Jim’s nurturing nature. His continued absences have made her irritable and possibly lonely. Having come from a different background, she does not appreciate a pedestrian ‘hick town’ and longs for the city. It is easy to sense her frustration and Jim’s also. He prefers a country practice. But their marriage is fragile and Jim’s thoughts are elsewhere. Duval’s niece has given him pause for thought. This provides another hook, racing the plot forward to an almost feverish pitch. We want to know what happens and the tension builds.

Nit: “Not quite (sure) what we’re paying her for.”

And then there is Violet Dalton. I was alarmed that the house call demanded the patient’s husband to leave the room. But Violet is obsessed with having a lover. We learn of her insatiable desires and Jim’s reluctance to participate. Her husband, however, has other plans.

Chapter 4 revives Duval’s niece and she is permitted to accompany him to the hospital. With his offer to help her learn English, it is clear he is heading towards infatuation. The reader will, at this point, fear for the doctor’s reputation. Duval has something of the villain in him, a sinister aspect which is hard to put into words as this point. Perhaps he determines the doctor’s keenness at this juncture, waiting for him to jump into the deep end.

The relationships in this book are well weaved, characters are strong, plot is definitely captivating and dialogue crisp. The pitch drew me in and I enjoyed my second read of this exceptional book. I would like to see it published. Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

I had a look at the first chapter, mostly due to time restraints. The writing flows very well and the characters are very good. Although this isn't my usual genre, i found it very easy to read.

Didn't notice any typos or grammamtical mistakes (Although my grammer isn't the best)

All in all very good.

Timmy
Asylum

I have just read two chapters of your book, "The Doctor of Summitville". I am struck by your confidence with the written word. You have produced an interesting tale which drew me in so that I want to know what happens. Your style is literary, without being overblown, interesting, and so well observed. I wish I could do as well.

All the best with this, indeed! Highly rated and on my WL

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

After only reading the first few 'pages', I was completely engrossed. You have an easy-going, natural style to your writing that reads very smoothly, while at the same time carries strong hints of the culture and era itself (very nicely done). The opening scene was excellent - absolutely compelling, making it impossible to put down. This is an exceptionally well written piece and I'm sure you'll take it far.

Best of luck!
Steve
"At the Narrow End of Time" and "Epiphany"

Such achievements as this are the product of great skill and infinite care.

Bravo.

Great start to a novel - racy with short rapid sentences make this a page-turner. The story seems sound too although I didn't read as much as I'd like.

One tiny niggle - maybe cut down your use of elipsis? Sometimes less is more...

Good luck! I'm sure this will do well.

Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Bill this is a brilliant story with really well drawn characters. The opening chapter is fast paced and exciting with the aftermath of the train wreck and the Doc's character really shines through. Then we wander into his world and get to know his life a little. Excellent descriptions and beautiful narrative, I could really see this as a film or a TV series. Really enjoyed what I read so far and I will read on.
Best of luck
Rachael

As stylish and cleanly written as when I first came across your work several years ago...it just surprises me why it hasn't reached the Desk by now...it certainly deserves it's moment in the sun!
Best wishes
Stewart

DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE
Chapter Thirty-Eight. Annette and Margaret both leave. I like the way you’ve been able to weave such a sad tone into these last chapters with the descriptions of what a disease like the flu meant to people before antibiotics and how the great depression affected everyone. If I have a problem at all, it’s with Annette’s spelling. Surely John Hopkins would want a graduate from there to be able to fill in a chart with better English.
Chapter Thirty-Nine. Jim leaves Summitville for a Public Health job. Again, the overall sadness you’ve built into this makes it good reading.
Chapter Forty. Jim is in Spain. The description of everything Jim has to go through to find Annette is good.
Chapter Forty-One. The way Jim saves Annette’s life brought tears to my eyes. Good writing.
Chapter Forty-Two. And all ends well. Good ending. Like the way you end this with a final narrative note.
Cover and pitches: The cover does a good job of conveying the way the murder is an important point in the story. The pitch is a good description summation of the story.
Pace: If I had any problem it was the few chapters after the trial when you shift from such a threatening time in Jim’s life to a few months when things almost go back to what they were before.
Point of View: The idea of using a hidden narrator to add an overall view of things adds a lot to this story. Allows a viewer to learn what is going on without Jim having to explain everything.
Authenticity (Historical accuracy): No problem.
Characters: You have good problems in both Jim and Annette. They’re a good contrast because he’s so serious and she’s so much more into just enjoying life. Margaret was a puzzle to me but then I think she was a puzzle to Jim too. Weber and Duval both make good villains.
Descriptions: Well done; The descriptions of how Summitville changed over the years was always interesting.
Dialogue: This is a strength of the story. Always short, never preachy.
Plot: If there was something I didn’t like it was the way the trial ended without a clear verdict, left me with an unfinished feeling and made everything that came after that feel anticlimactic until Jim learns that Annette has a son and he begins to trace her down. Made me think maybe the trial should be delayed so it could serve as the climax.
Publishability: I read this all the way through; would have picked it up in a bookstore.
Style: Clear and concise. Liked the contrast between the narrator’s comments and the actual story.
Technicalities (grammar, repetitions, typos, etc.): Nothing of consequence.
Good luck with this. I enjoyed the read. Wannabeawriter

DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE
Chapter Thirty-One. Jim goes to rescue Violet and she ends up dead. As Violet was a character I liked a lot, I feel bad. But back to the aspirin for a moment. Why I asked about it is: the U.S. has only had IV aspirin since 2010 so if Jim was dissolving tablets and adding them to IVs in the 1930s, he was way, way way ahead of his time.
Chapter Thirty-Two. Margaret’s asthma tunes up. This is a sensitive chapter revealing a lot about Jim and what a basic good guy he is as staying with Margaret must be a chore.
Chapter Thirty-Three and Thirty-Four. The trial. You do a good job with this, just including the necessary prosecution and defense questions, not all of them. Maintains a good pace for the story. The ending is a good surprise when Masters speaks up on Jim’s behalf.
Chapter Thirty-Five. The medical society cancels Jim’s membership. It’s interesting how members seemed to support him when he was at the meeting, then wrote him a letter condemning him. There’s no mention of either Annette or Margaret and how they feel about all this. Hoping their reactions are going to be in the next chapter.
Chapter Thirty-Six. Jim’s father dies. A sad day for him because he has so little support in time.
Chapter Thirty-Seven. Jim goes to Baltimore for Annette’s graduation and then brings her home. Poor Margaret discovering them eating breakfast. This is a good chapter because it brings Jim’s and Annette’s romance full circle. I want him to make a decision, though, either choose Annette or Margaret, not both. Wannabeawriter.

Here ya go! Love it if you would back mine.

blessings,
Jim

The Doctor of Summitville.
By Bill Carrigan.

Pleased to come back to this book.
It stuck in my mind from when I first read it.
I remember it so well and that’s the mark of a good book in my opinion.
My comment hasn’t changed very much. Whatever I say won’t do justice for what is a most compelling and absorbing read.
A book that I found to be excellent from the very first page.
Your description and vivid scenes are very impressive to say the least.
Dr. Jim Gordon... ill prepared for the day’s events... rushing to the scene of the train crash to find devastation and carnage, on a large scale.
I could hear the cries...smell the smoke and sense the lack of any major resources at this immediate time...what a hell of a scene to be confronted by.
Then there is Annette, a much needed helper unable to speak English fully, but very capable and with obvious nursing qualities.
You describe well the local hospital with its antiquated system and the inability to cope with such a disaster.
You have clearly worked hard, editing and improving your book since I last and backed it.
That was many months ago Bill.
It now stands out as an exceptional book...great, compelling read. Well done!
I have given it the maximum star rating that it deserves.
I ‘m also pleased to shelve it again.
Brilliant story!!

Kind regards and best wishes,

Neville. The Secrets of the Forest – The Time Zone.

I think I backed this the last time I was here (some nine months ago). Every bit as fine as I remember it. I shall give it some time on my shelf again, although whether my vote counts or not, I don't know. Nice, competent writing that flows beautifully.

DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE
Chapter Twenty-Four and Twenty-Five. The pace of the story really picks up here as Annette takes Henry to the hospital and the false reading of that early x-ray is revealed. It’s clear both Annette’s and Jim’s lives are in threat here.
Chapter Twenty-Six. Violet is back from the asylum. Makes this a good chapter as she’s such an entertaining character. I’ve a bad feeling that housing her at the cabin, tho, is not a good move on Jim’s part. The assault by Duval on Jake was a surprise; one thing about it that was a puzzle: he didn’t ask Jim to repair the bullet holes in his car.
Chapter Twenty-Seven. Al is back, about to cause more trouble. Overall, this story has reached a “can’t put down” pace because all the problems coming full blown.
Chapter Twenty-Eight. Jim treats Al. When you write “he changed the IV to dextrose and aspirin” it reads as if he put the aspirin in the IV. Is that what you meant? Bringing Al to the cabin to watch Violet was a surprise, but a good move. As usual, when she’s in a chapter, it’s always interesting.
Chapter Twenty-nine. The confrontation between Jim and Duval. Good chapter in the way it begins so innocently (a man making milkshakes at a pharmacy), then changes to self-defense or murder.
Chapter Thirty. I liked the confrontation between Jim and Margaret here. Her comment, “How could you do this to me?” instead of “What is going to happen to you?” is very revealing. Wannabeawriter

Bill,

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You are a prolific writer. The skill you've displayed in writing your story is quite impressive. Your novel just keeps getting better and better.

R.A. Battles

DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE
Chapter Seventeen. Jim diagnoses TB in Henry – and sends him to Phoenix. Wouldn’t there have been TB sanitariums in 1927? Where patients were confined for up to a year (because there were no specific TB drugs as yet)? So he’s not just going to Arizona but to a sanitarium, right?
Chapter Eighteen and Nineteen. Jim and Annette work as a team, then Annette leaves for nursing school. As the narrator points out, I can just imagine the gossip about these two that is flying back and forth across picket fences. You never say whether Henry’s sputum was positive or not or whether Jim ever tests it to know if it is safe for Henry to come back home.
Chapter Twenty. Annette in nursing school. I enjoyed the descriptions of what nursing was like this long ago. The letter from Henry introduces good suspense; if he ever shows up in Philadelphia, there will be real trouble. I’m worried also that Margaret will intercept a love letter between Annette and Jim. She better be careful how many hugs and kisses she includes in those letters.
Chapter Twenty-One and Twenty-Two. The Great Depression begins. The details of how it affected people in small towns is interesting. I know from your initial description there’s going to be a murder here, tho, and I’m getting anxious for the story to get to that. As an aside, and a small thing, I’m also growing curious as to who is the narrator. His inserts are always interesting but I’d like to put a face or name to him (or her).
Chapter Twenty-Three.
Henry shows up at the hospital. I knew Annette was naïve to think this was never going to happen, especially if the farm was running into trouble. I’m wondering if Annette shouldn’t have been making periodic contacts with Schmitz and sending letters to Henry that everything was well to help ensure Henry wouldn’t come home to see what was happening.

Doctor of Summitville
Chapter Eleven and Twelve. Good chapters. I really feel sorry for Violet; have a bad feeling she’s never going to get out of that mental health hospital. And now that I know what it means, I don’t think you should take out “published the bann”, just have Jim explain it (the purpose of publishing wedding announcements was so anyone who wanted to could protest the marriage – and that’s exactly what he felt like doing) or some such.
Chapter Thirteen. Annette gets married despite Jim’s reservations. Another good chapter.
Chapter Fourteen. Jim and Annette do it in the barn. A spice-up-the-story chapter.
Chapter Fifteen. Cindy has her baby. Great chapter. Good suspense. Something small: a “face” presentation is an ominous one as that means the baby’s head is tipped so it’s presenting its widest diameter to the cervix so probably won’t deliver. A “vertex” presentation meaning the top of the head is presenting or else a “cephalic” one means the head is down and in good position.
Chapter sixteen. The gunshot wound. Well done. You’ve got me at a point of no return at this point. I’m wondering about how things will turn out I have to keep on reading. Wannabeawriter

Hi Bill, this is an HFG review from inspectorrick (Rick). I read the first 3 chapters and I promise that if I have time I will read more. I took the liberty of reading your bio and find that you have more experience than I at reviewing a book, but I read a lot and my tastes are ecclectic so that's my background. I noted that we both use/used the same writing style - starting a sentence and then breaking it up with commas and more information. Whether people were being nice to you or just mean to me it doesn't matter but others have said that this style is jarring and confusing to them. When I read your work it does have places that are confusing to me because of the commas. Just a thought but moving the inserted thought or action to the end of the sentence makes it read easier and the intent is not lost. Or just combine two sentences with a semi-colon.
The cover and pitches are good but I thought the long pitch was a little confusing. I'm struggling to understand these things so take that for what it's worth.
Ch.1 - the line with Carroll, the previous town - made me stop to figure it out. Adding - 'on the line' would be perfiect.
Ch. 2 - The conflict with the hospital administrator was a bit stilted and difficult to understand why. There was enough information to help figure it out but only when I added my own knowledge of your country (what little I know) and the Depression Era. Adding a tiny bit more about the community, hospital, etc. might help the story flow easier.
Since it is tough to get a clear image of the characters without reading the whole work sometimes I'll just say that I had a decent picture of Jim and some of the others were becoming focused.
Pace was fine but I think the Point of View might be closer and a bit more urgent especially at the time of the wreck.
Dialogue - since being on this site I've learned that this area of our work is better without the 'he said' and other enhancements during the conversation. Otherwise yours is fine to me.
The plot, publishability, style and other niggly bits are up to interpretation and a matter of opinion which means that it depends on the Editor and Publisher to decide if there is a market for the work. Would I buy it? Yes but the pitches would certainly have to grab my attention.
If the words are harsh I appologize but it was the way I was raised. I say what I mean in the fewest words possible and sometimes it sounds mean but this is not my intention. Please feel free to cut my work to the bone because I have a thick skin and certainly understand. Thank you for the opportunity to read your work. Rick, Jack, I Am.

Doctor of Summitville
Chapter Six and Seven. This continues to be a good read. I like all the descriptions of what practicing medicine was like in the 1920s (guessing what diet caused a kidney stone, using chloroform for anesthesia). It’s clear, tho, Jim is asking for trouble, visiting Annette so much, especially bringing her gifts. I’ve a bad feeling this will eventually lead to trouble.
Chapter Eight. Interesting description of how Jim is forced to change his practice. I found his advice for women to quickly get out of bed after childbirth way ahead of his time. Should he have advised that, or just notice that, because women are birthing at home, they’re forced to get up soon to care for their house and other children, and he’s noticed that not only doesn’t hurt them, they seem get better faster? Just a thought.
Chapter Nine. Jim leans duval is about to marry Annette. I didn’t understand what “published the banns for his marriage” means (is that a British thing? ) The conversation with Violet is great writing. She always spices up things when she’s in a chapter.
Chapter Ten. The conversation with Margaret about a divorce was a surprise. Yes, Jim has obviously been unhappy for a long time, but divorce could affect his reputation and he needs to maintain that in order to practice in this small town. Overall, between his relationship with Annette and the disagreement with the medical society he’s digging a pit deeper and deeper. Suspense as to how this will all turn out is growing as well. Wannabeawriter. Who Killed the President? Historical Review Group

Good sense of time and place. Confident, polished prose. Well-paced. Shelved.

Bill, this is every bit as good as I remember from the first reading, and now with the editing touches you've employed, it's better than I ever thought possible. Your use of period detail is fascinating without being obtrusive in the narrative. Every character, no matter how small their part, has a life of his or her own, including every patient from the terrible train wreck.

I love the narrative or journalistic summaries - like the Prologue. The one at the end of ch.2 gives a life all its own to the story's period, to storytelling as a whole.

ONE thing there - the Prologue. It does read so beautifully, but I wonder if you're giving an awful lot away. I'll suggest you stop it at "Until the killing". (Period instead of ellipsis.) Then I'd use the last two paras somewhere at the end of the book. Just my thoughts on it. In fact, I'd almost be tempted to use it for the Pitch... It has such *voice*.

Another thing in ch.1 -- I remember this from before! But when Jim meets the *young girl*, I think perhaps he notices too much of her looks in the midst of all the chaos. Perhaps he could simply be annoyed with himself at noticing just the fact she's pretty? I'd maybe use the description of her - the full lips, white teeth, clothes, when he meets Duval and says "There's a family resemblance." Use that silence for him to take in these details.

During Jim's work on the train, we live it with him, and those touches of period troubles, as with Jim thinking he'll have to employ methods he'd heard worked in the trenches of France a sublime and sad note.
Nice chapter ending, too.

In ch.2, at Our Savior Hospital, we confront the chaos there with him, the problems Dr. Archer faces against Director Weber, the state of the victims - those indigent patients they are afraid to treat for admin. (i.e. money) purposes. Then we discover the Ant problem... What a touch! Chapter ends with that divine piece of journalistic dryness sorely missed today.

In ch.3 we learn about his father, Everett - and dog Jason (of the golden fleece)... and of Jim's wife, Margaret. We haven't met her yet, but how large she looms. No wonder Jim thinks fleetingly of the girl, only to have his father mention the Blanche Du Bois of the neighborhood, Violet. When we meet her, she's every small town's femme fatale, and yet in so few words, she's as sad as Blanche, and by her husbands words, we want to protect her.

In ch.4, we are back with the girl, Annette, her uncle, and we learn about her. I can see their *bond* growing. By the end of the chapter, back at the hospital, we can feel Jim's anger at the treatment his patients have had to endure. The tensions that will undoubtedly lead to a lot of trouble.

That's as far as I've got tonight, and I am engrossed.

I can see a man in Dr. Jim Martin becoming as revered a classic character in literature as Atticus Finch.

Already six-starred, so I can give no more except another ride on my shelf as soon as the mechanics of this site allow.

From Kay-Christina (*Annacara*) with the utmost admiration and respect.

THE DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE / Bill Carrigan

From the moment I began to read this book I knew I was in the presence of greatness. Mr. Carrigan is a very talented storyteller, his writing displaying a unique style and voice.

I feel I have read quality work when I just simply read. That is what I did here. As a writer who truly loves reading as much as writing, I don't look as hard for flaws or stumbling parts. I just absorb the stories as they were meant be recieved. The flow of this story is smooth, the author's craft being very consistent throughout. There is a simplicity here that defines the writing, sort of like books from the 50's and 60's in American Literature.

Mr. Carrigan displays clearly that he is a clever individual with knowledge of many things in his writing. His romance scenes are tasteful, scene descriptions are thorough and economical and he is a master of language as is constantly displayed. What I liked especially was how I would think this story would appeal to a wide audience because of the encompassing of so much subject matter. It would make a great 'Lifetime' movie.

There are certain lines that really jump out at the reader because they are saturated with elequent wording. "The moon bathing the yard" or something like that, phrases like this are continually making me stop and just admire this gifted writer's literary genuis.

The plot is skillfully advanced with each chapter. This is another of the things that make me realize I am reading the work of a brilliant author who understands pace and is able to 'feed' just enough as he goes to keep flow generated. I did note the unique way the narrative shifts at times but found that it enhances the way the story is told.

Being a mystery writer, I have to mention that we know how hard it is at times to keep from exposing weaknesses in detail and have to go back and 'fix' things like little details that a reader may percieve as a flaw. Mr. Carrigan once again displays his incredible skill by mentioning (usually quite casually) the detail points to avoid overscrutinizing of his plot. In CH18 for example he mentions that the cottage where Schmitz is has its view of the house where Anette is blocked by trees. Jim is 'rolling off' his car to avoid detection but has to wave at Schmitz on the way out, hoping he will assume he was making a house call. Very clever. It is little things like this that I noticed throughout the manuscript that convinced me I was not reading the work of just a writer with an idea for a story.

(Earlier in the CH there is a mistake: When they wake up in bed at Annette's you say that he is looking down at her asking himself a question. Go back and read that and I think you will see what I mean.)

The writing was so well-polished this was the only thing I caught. I really enjoyed The Doctor of Summitville so much I can say it is one my favorite reads in years. Great story. I even gain some insight on certain things I might do woth my own writing as a result of reading it.

6 stars for this wonderful work, truly one of the best five books on Authonomy.

E M Delaney

HF Review

I've read the first three chapters of the novel and found very capable and strong writing with a slightly unique slant on construction. With the prologue and the interlude between two chapters (1&2) it is as if the town is the omnicient viewpoint and then during the chapters it descends to third person. Such an approach seems almost film like to me. In such a set up we're led to believe this is an examination of Dr. Martin and his life as the country doctor, someone who is naturally privy to various confidences and intrigues of the town. As in classic novels (Middlemarch, Cranford) the doctor's behaviour is up for scrutiny and also speculation. This doctor we see is a somewhat careful, and though when faced with the train wreck he might experience a brief moment of nerves he negotiates the emergency with slow precision almost. In the hospital he doesn't "grab" or "throw" on his gown to give the sense of haste, he "dons" his gown. With such careful thought we sense he wouldn't be a man to rush headlong into tricky situations, but pause and reflect. Yet he is compasionate. At the end of chapter 1 he reflects that when observing the French girl it might have been her hesitation that planted a seed of caring in his mind. (Great line). He still tends to Violet and tries to help her, even though she is obviously beyond his skill. His wife he enables in her alcoholism by avoiding mentioning or "preaching." This is not your natural hero per se, but one that can grow into a role and we wonder how it will happen.

This is a good character study that unfolds and though as yet I can't see any tension or thriller aspect I am very ineterested to see how that will take shape. Your style is very deft and the logistics so clear in the emergency scene that we can follow everything without any confusion. The backstory is not oppressive and overloaded so the pace is not slowed down. You give us just enough description so that we can give a backdrop to the scene we're seeing, especially the crash scene. Very well written. Kristin

Hello Bill,

I'm going to do several reviews, but just one at a time since I have several books to catch up on. I read chapter one, and as a fan of HF I loved it :]. Even though at the moment I write a fantasy novel, I still haven't forgotten my HF roots. I found your action packed, symbolic and intellectual opening to have an advantage: it attracts readers of fantasy. With this mind, I see why you have a large audience!.

I do have one suggestion though. When you used the word nearer, did you mean nearest?

Six-Stars :}.

Swisscheese.

The Dr. of Summitville. A historical Fiction Review. Bill, I see to my shame it is over four months since I read into your book.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.9. I am immediately transported back into the comfortable environment of the doctor and his patients. But you repeat hear(d) in the first paragraph.
I dont think you need the pluperfect where you say a chill swept over him.
Do you want more nits? If you leave out unnecessary words like still, and almost, you'll find the story flows better.
I enjoyed the episode with the marble, but I suppose some editors might want you to cut it out - as not entirely necessary.
You have such a talent for bringing life into whatever you describe.

Ch.10. You stray in VPs between Annette and Jim during their conversation on the bridge, and then an authorial VP intrudes. Might it not be more poignant if you remained with Jim?
Again, the authorial VP appears in his quarrel with Margaret: 'On they went..'
Yours is such a human story.

Ch.11. I'm not sure the italicised authorial bits in this chapter are absolutely necessary, especially with modern readers who just want to get on with the story. But I enjoyed the episode.
Otherwise this chapter is rather slow, and I wonder at its significance.

I hope the above helps, Bill.
As always, I enjoy your writing, and look forward to more dips in due course.
I've backed you a few times in the past, and here's another shower of stars..

Jane (Breath of Africa).

The opening chapter is indeed a mammoth attempt to capture a train crash - I mean that in itself is probably one of the most difficult things to write about. Catastrophes where there is great suffering and damage must lead you into various dilemmas as to what to say about them. Do you make them gory for instance with parts of bodies hanging from the rafters? Or do you spare peoples feelings and skip over the bloodbath? Personally I prefer the impact and the suffering, because that gives it an air of drama and desperation. Unfortunately, I didn't really feel this in this present opening. To me it needs more blood and guts after all a train crash is not a stroll in the park.. Wilfred (He Was a Most Peculiar Man)

On my way out the door but Im going to WL this and read it later. I love HF, please feel free to read mine Under the Red Flag I stand.