Seeking Eleanor

I love what I've been reading up till now. Devon is an intriguing character, not angel or demon, but rather something tottering in between. I also like the choice of his name, I looked up the meaning, 'Defender', describes his role in the story, did you pick the name with that in mind? Both his character, and that of Eleanor are very well developed already, and I like the balance you have struck between their faults and imperfections, and their valuable and admirable traits. I think Eleanor is one of my new favorite heroines.

The supporting characters in the story are also wonderful. I love how you have developed their histories, and the people who are therefore important to them, In Eleanor's case, her mother, father and grandfather, and in Devon's case, Alula, Gus and Phineas (I love Phineas, he reminds me so much of my own brother, though I think I am cursed with far less patience than Devon).

As the the plot, when I read it, I felt that the first couple of chapters moved slowly however I now feel that it was necessary to allow the characters to develop, so that is certainly not a criticism. Now as I have reached chapter ten, the pace is picking up to a point where (if it were an actual book in my hands) I would be unable to put it down. My eyes would glued to the paged as I walked, ate, did the washing, walked into lampposts, etc. However sadly, I am at the mercy of waiting for you to upload the next couple of chapters.

I feel like, if I truly were a good book critic, I would have some kind of constructive criticism to give to you. However I have nothing. All I can think about it, what is going to happen next?!

yours sincerely, Mille

Dear T. L. Tyson, An original and ingenious idea: a soul so pure and good it needs a Soul Protector to keep it safe from the likes of Hadrian, who I assume is the devil or at least one of his agents. Devon Shepherd, his last name describing his occupation, is a fascinating character: I like how you make him more human than angelic even though he seems immortal and superhuman—not only does that make it plausible he’d fall in love with one of his charges, but it’s also psychologically intriguing in itself.

Eleanor Bores (bored with her life?) is equally fascinating: she’s attractive, intelligent, literate, but also neurotic and somehow detached from others, perhaps owing to her mother’s death. I like how, just as you humanize Devon, you give her flaws: I’m eager to learn why she was born with a spiritual blemish. Because of their similarities, including their unease with their roles, Devon and Eleanor seem soul mates, and I mean that literally--I assume he’s the “mysterious stranger” you mention your pitch.

Your writing is very precise and evocative: first Devon’s life and then Eleanor’s are fully detailed, and I admire how smoothly you work information about his past and his powers into the narrative.

This is impossible to resist. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

Chapter 1

Seattle, huh? Cool. I live in Tacoma. Small world, I guess. Okay, TL. I can see why this is ranked so highly. You're talented. And you've got a intellectually developed imagination, if that makes any sense. The narrative is extremely engaging. I love the way Devon reacts and interacts with 'mortals'. I dunno why, because this is clearly fantasy, but the whole conceit rings true with me. Go figure. So maybe you've been influenced by the proliferation of popular vampire myth --the brooding and dangerous bad boy immortal that can make the mallrats tingle-- but you've done something noble by taking it to a different and unique level here, I think. It appears you've really conjured up a rich world and mythology for your characters to inhabit. The esoteria (is that a word?) you introduce --the name dropping of Hadrian and Marta and the idea of Soul Protectors, Soul Hunters, and pure ones-- doesn't bother me. In fact, it intrigues me. And the writing itself ain't half bad, either. I'm gonna go ahead and predict that you're going places, TL. Bravo.

Cheers

John

Dear T.L.

Lovely poetic title, and the pitch for your book intrigues.
Devon, the soul-protector ... there was nothing he hated more than one of his charges being put in danger, and not knowing which one aggravated him no end ... He bore down towards the concrete below at an inhuman speed.
Gripping entry, but It took me a moment to realise the woman was a plot point in the prologue.
It's rather cute that the agent of fate wants to be trusted, even loved. How misunderstood he felt after so many years of doing his duty ... why do I keep subjecting myself to these rediculous humans?
You show Eleanor's state of mind very well, but maybe are packing a little too much information when introducing her. And the usual, as we all know, with each read of our text there is more to pare down.
So Devon intrudes on his charge. This sets a great dramatic stage.

Seeking Eleanor inspires a fresh perception of mishaps, like my car being in the garage now, noises having alerted me to its worn cam belt. The belt could have broken on the motorway back from Devon (giggle) this weekend, and my car would have been a write-off.
So your book is on my shelf.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Wow, Soul Protectors? All around us? How do we qualify to be Protected? I read only this first chapter but you have my attention. This novel immediately made me think of the novel "Grandmaster" by Warren Murphy and Molly Cochran, which I read many years ago. The hero was not quite human and seemed to always be fighting evil. Your character Hadrian makes me think of Hades, so probably really a bad guy. And one of your friends makes me think of one the leading characters in the "Twilight" series at least from the darkened distance.
I see you already have a medal hanging by this book but I will W/L it anyway,
James W. Nelson aka SubRon2

Dear T.L., I love going into the another dimension where anything can happen - & does. I'd like to see the rest of the story & am hoping for a happy ending which you'll understand when you see my memoir. Good luck on writing many more. :) I loved the Terminator TV Series because I could escape into it - yours reminds me of it. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch, which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book. :) "When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
additional authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs." :)

I love it...really absorbing and engaging. I have to confess I slightly fancy Devon? (blush)

I can really imagine reading the first chapter in a shop and then buying the book. I hope you upload some more chapters very soon.

Well done on being read by HC!
Leila x
Life is not a love song

Hi T.L.,

A great read so far and looking forward to finishing it. A lovely beginning gets you straight into the book and action with well-realised characters. Well done and good luck. Backed with pleasure!

Ray
The Starguards

Hi T.L.,

A great read so far and looking forward to finishing it. A lovely beginning gets you straight into the book and action with well-realised characters. Well done and good luck. Backed with pleasure!

Ray
The Starguards

I LOVE THIS BOOK! LOVE LOVE IT!
Very creative and very well written! GOOD JOB!
BACKED BACKED BACKED

Mandi Gordon
BROKEN

Seeking Eleanor dare I say is gothic. I lived in Seattle for seven years in misery and the natives of the city during the winters are very somber. There is a living beauty in the city despite the greyness, and the fact you chose an immortal to be a saver, or guardian angel? but there is a dark vampish quality to such a creature. I like when authors conjure up new fantastic beings and let their mad imaginations break the dam of the conventional. Backed with pleasure from a guy who needs light therapy. I moved away from Seattle because it was too cloudy, ha! Missoula, Montana where I currently live gets MORE cloudy days. I doubt this story of dark (mysterious) love can be put in Vancouver. Vancity is too boppity bop bop.

Just started reading and impressed with your detail especially with the character Devon. I'll continue - good luck - andy

Like some who have commented before me, this is not quite my regular fare when it comes to reading. That being said, I very much enjoyed what I read! You have a gift for putting together words with a lovely flow.
As was also mentioned below, you have created an intriguing story and Devon indeed is a very well-crafted character. I look forward to readong more.
Well done.

Be Brilliant!
Skip-

My genre for sure! And well-written. I am going to read on!

Intriguing start - I can see why this has done so well here. My very tiny nitpick in this first chapter is the word 'downfall' where I'd expect 'downside'. But maybe that's a dialect difference?

Thanks for sharing your story,

Amanda

this is an interesting pitch, and first chapter. "Devon arched his back..." really wants to be the first line here. Showing that something is going on is far more effective and gripping to the reader than just telling us with "Danger was coming" Showing is aways better than telling. It puts the reader in the stroy and makes the wonder why is his bavck arching, what going on here, and they read on to find out. all and all though, this is a good read. goodluck with it

Hello, I have only had time to skip through chapters and I wondered what audience this book was aimed at? I immediately thought teenage girls and knew it would be a good read for them. I like the pitch, but it didn't really grab me, sorry, but I wish you all the joy and luck with it.
Blessings to you
Paula - Ruined Echoes.

Read the first chapter and I'm definitely caught. Devon's one of my favorite names, but that has nothing to do with it, honest!

"bear" = beard. Up there, somewhere, sorry, can't recall exactly where.

I don't really go for protector/guardian angel stories. Something about them being a hundred year older than their love interests disturbs me. That was why I despised Twilight so much. We'll see how this turns out. XD I already like the male lead, so that makes it better.

Watching this, definitely. My bookshelf is all full up already but I think that can be managed next week. ;)

Lily C, author of Furies' Game

As I'm reading I realize that at first I thought Devon was evil; he is just having a hard time reconciling that fact; that he was inherently good inside. I now get a sense that he's in a predicament that was beyond his control and is trying to make peace with it and Eleanor is the key. I want to know his story; maybe later on.

So far I love it, very well written and interesting, I want to keep reading. I'm a tough sell, if a story doesn't grab me in the first page or two I have a hard time with the rest.

Great start, especially since I'm a huge Twilight fan!

A very interesting book you've got here. I like the narrative voice. Devon is an intriguing character. I think you could tighten your sentences and improve your paragraph flow a bit, but overall very well done.


AR

Devon reminds me very much of "Hancock" from the film of that title. A reluctant super-hero. Good pace and believeable characters make for an interesting read. backed. Colin

My biggest regret is not getting this backed before it ranked last month - this is an excellent story (from the first few chapters I've read) and I wish I'd had the time to properly back it.

I enjoyed reading this - your character voices are strong and the pacing is excellent. Thank you for posting such an enjoyable read!

This comment comes from one who appreciates and immerses herself in good writing but does not write herself, therefore you will not find any structural critiques here but simply the reflections of a leisure reader.

Your book reminded me of the reasons I became an avid reader in the first place. I fell in love with your characters, and was lost in a world where if I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath I could feel, hear and smell the air in Montesano. I remember being as young as 6 or 7 years old and feeling this way reading Peter Pan... same at the age of 12 reading the Chronicles of Narnia, again at age 16 reading The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings and again as an adult reading Harry Potter. These books are my friends, places I visit when wanting to refresh, rejuvenate and escape the every day world. From what I have read so far, your book (and maybe series of books) may become one of these great companions and essential components of my home that I carry with me and revisit regularly.

I'm looking forward to hearing of your success TL Tyson I believe you will go far! I hope you will keep us posted!

Yours truly, Charlotte Rose

Congratulations! I am so glad that a book I really enjoyed made the cut. Best of luck!

Amanda Miller

Very interesting synopsis. Very interesting beginning. Beware of the POV charcter thinking things about the way he looks -- "his brow became a map of agitated creases". If he's not looking at himself, how does he know?

You have a great hook early on the first chapter. "Why do I have to subject myself to these ridiculous mortals?" It's great. How can an immortal risk one's life?

Good hook at the end of Chapter 1. Keeps the reader reading which is what a hook is supposed to do.

Very interesting premise. Good writing. Very few problems to fix.

Congratulations! I wish you success in becoming published. Sincerely. Marie

Congratulations on your star. This story is truly imaginative. I love the mix of fantasy and real world which is portrayed so well together. Both the main characters, Devon and Eleanor, are fascinating and somehow seem to balance each other. The writing is right on! I'm glad I backed this.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Congrats!

HJ
The Pearl Edda

Congratulations on being selected for review!

I am so pleased for you.

Charles

I'm reading and love it, but had to pause and back you, so I could be 230 which is a heck of a great #. Muriel

I've read chapters one, two and ten and have thoroughly enjoyed myself. You describe clothing the way some writer's describe food which is charming and really helps visualise the characters. You do however mention diagonal zips quite a lot which made me smile.
In chapter one you describe Alula 'lifting' her lip in disgust. The more common term would be 'curled' her lip in disgust. It's a choice thing I guess but I noticed it and it jarred slightly. In chapter ten you write: Everything was exactly as left it' you left the "he'd" out.
Take my pedantry as a compliment because I really couldn't fault the writing. The story is well conceived and quite irresistable. You deserve to be on the editors desk and I sincerely hope I get to buy a copy of this book soon.
Good luck Ms Tyson.
Alethea

I've read chapters one, two and ten and have thoroughly enjoyed myself. You describe clothing the way some writer's describe food which is charming and really helps visualise the characters. You do however mention diagonal zips quite a lot which made me smile.
In chapter one you describe Alula 'lifting' her lip in disgust. The more common term would be 'curled' her lip in disgust. It's a choice thing I guess but I noticed it and it jarred slightly. In chapter ten you write: Everything was exactly as left it' you left the "he'd" out.
Tajke my pedantry as a compliment because I really couldn't fault the writing. The story is well conceived and quite irresistable. You deserve to be on the editors desk and I sincerely hope I get to buy a copy of this book soon.
Good luck Ms Tyson.
Alethea

This is a well-written and interesting book and I can understand why it has reached the top five. Shelved.
Regards
William Roberts ('The Caves of Caerdraig')

I don't normally do this, but since I know the time is running short I'm going to back this after 2 chapters. Usually I'd like to read 5 before backing it and giving it a formal review. Once I read a bit more I'll give the review though. I feel from what I have read so far though that this will be a well deserved, if premature, backing. Good luck!

Chapter two was wonderful. I really love the concept you have here, and you've created some wonderful characters. As you flashed back to some of Eleanor's earlier years it really made me care about her. Great emotion in the story so far. Good luck on the editor's desk :)

You caught me with your pitch :) I'll comment on the chapters as I go. The first chapter was very clean and easy to read. You paint a very nice visual with your words :) Seems I'll be moving onto the next chapters from here.

After reading the 10 chapters you've posted, I can say I am very intrigued by your book. I think the pacing is very well done. I agree that the first few chapters move slowly, however this doesn't necessarily bother me as the character development is very well constructed and we obviously need a build up to the story.

I find your idea refreshing and unique: soul hunters/soul bearers/soul protectors--what a great angle and a fresh lens you've shone onto a fantasy genre that has had its fill of vampires and werewolves. This is an original idea-kudos!

I like the natural way in which you've introduced your secondary characters: Alula, Gus and Phineas give Devon a sense of history, and a context in which to further understand his struggle/experience/perspective. Shayla and Tommy perfectly illustrate the annoyance of high school without the meandering that most YA novels treat this world. They serve their purpose without overextending their welcome. They are also well crafted, as the reader gains a sense of E's general high school existence without you having her sit in classroom after classroom, or going to football game after football game.

I also like the natural way in which your characters speak. The dialogue is crisp and clear as it develops each character and moves the story along in a well-timed fashion. There are no unnecessary expenditures that are wasted here--plus, most importantly, it's believable.

Overall, I find your work excellent. I wish you the best of luck as you seek representation and it is my hope to see your name on my bookshelf very soon.

~Laura

PS-I've bookmarked your blog to keep tabs on you and hope to see a post soon giving us an update on how things are progressing.

I read a sampling which covered the first and tenth chapters to get a feel for your writing.

First off, you had a great opening hook by immersing the reader immediately into action. Devon descending upon Marta, seemingly in attack mode but then we find out he is a Soul Protector. Then you planted some plot devices about Alula (former love interest? rival? colleague?) and Hadrian (antagonist).

Dialog: Natural sounding and very well done. I particularly enjoyed the exchange on chapter 10 when Devon is trying to conceal the truth about Eleanor and Alula is trying to get it out of him. That was tension-filled and realistic.

Characters: In a short space of time, you created a fairly complex character in Devon. He's doing his job, seems to have gone rogue since he left Alula and the others, and may be having second thoughts about what he's doing. Definitely an intriguing protagonist that I would want to follow in the world you've created.

Description: Very well balanced narrative with description and action. You've edited out as much exposition as possible to make this a riveting and compelling read.

Grammar, Other:
Devon arched his back… this sentence is kinda clunky. Suggest rewording.
Inclement weather… you may want to use a more tactile adjective. Inclement is rather weak.

Great job and thanks for sharing. GS

Here's another last minute push for you -- I can't believe I haven't checked out your book until now. It's a very complicated yet ineteresting story, well written, and well crafted!

Best of luck!

John Pearson
Learn Me good

Hi T.L.

I'm new to Authonomy, so I decided to read the first few books on the editor's desk list. Suffice to say, I'm impressed.

While the good vs evil premise is not new, and one that i am exploring myself at the moment, your book is very interesting—I found myself intrigued and wanting more. Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Backed. Good luck!

FFF

I enjoy the storyline, the mix between Devon’s life protecting souls and the interaction with others of his ilk. I think there is a little jealousy in Alula’s mind but at least she seems to accept his predicament.
You end the upload with the reader wanting more as well.
This is very well written and will appeal to many. Last chptr, last para-- ‘outrace’ is one word, has been since the 1600s -- also not sure the word ‘it’ should be there after - bulleting 9it’s okay but unnecessary). Just my opinion yet I did the same myself.
Wish you well with -Seeking Eleanor - and sorry for delay. Jim

Writing comments isn't really my thing, but I just have to tell you that this is a extremely well done novel. I couldn't help but find myself fascinated with Devon and his attachment to Eleanor. The more the story goes along the more his heart is telling him to pursue her. I look forward to reading more of this novel and happily backed it. Good luck on the editor's desk. Let's hope they see this, for its true potential is radiating through.

Michelle

I love what I've been reading up till now. Devon is an intriguing character, not angel or demon, but rather something tottering in between. I also like the choice of his name, I looked up the meaning, 'Defender', describes his role in the story, did you pick the name with that in mind? Both his character, and that of Eleanor are very well developed already, and I like the balance you have struck between their faults and imperfections, and their valuable and admirable traits. I think Eleanor is one of my new favorite heroines.

The supporting characters in the story are also wonderful. I love how you have developed their histories, and the people who are therefore important to them, In Eleanor's case, her mother, father and grandfather, and in Devon's case, Alula, Gus and Phineas (I love Phineas, he reminds me so much of my own brother, though I think I am cursed with far less patience than Devon).

As the the plot, when I read it, I felt that the first couple of chapters moved slowly however I now feel that it was necessary to allow the characters to develop, so that is certainly not a criticism. Now as I have reached chapter ten, the pace is picking up to a point where (if it were an actual book in my hands) I would be unable to put it down. My eyes would glued to the paged as I walked, ate, did the washing, walked into lampposts, etc. However sadly, I am at the mercy of waiting for you to upload the next couple of chapters.

I feel like, if I truly were a good book critic, I would have some kind of constructive criticism to give to you. However I have nothing. All I can think about it, what is going to happen next?!

yours sincerely, Mille

Well polished writing, the concept is excellent.

Best of luck with the editors!

Hi T.L. It's been a while since you backed me and commented. I appreciate that backing because I know that my work wasn't quite your cup of tea. And Seeking Eleanor isn't totally my cup of tea either. It's too intense for me. But I can imagine my daughters being absorbed in it and you write very well. So backed, for sure, and all the best with the thing that's going to happen to you and it.
Cheers,
Turnip
The Rise and Fall of Ger Mayes by Ruby Barnes

Looks like this is going to the editor's desk. I hope they like it. It is interest and well-written, but the editors can be pretty tough. In the interest of making it as perfect as possible, here are a few suggestions for the first chapter:

"The air drifted through his nostrils, it carried" to "The air that drifted through his nostrils carried"
"as if it were made from chalk" to "as if made from chalk"
"crosswalk, his gaze" to "crosswalk. His gaze"
"She would've seen" might be better "She would have seen"
"Soul Protector; risking" to "Soul Protector: risking"
"clean shaven" to "clean-shaven"
"rate in which" to "rate at which"

Regards,
Kevin Clark
(Will of God)

An entertaining and intriguing story with some very interesting characters. (BTW - I used the word "intriguing" before I read it in a previous review. I usually read the story and write my brief critique before reading other reviews, so now you have at least two solid "intriguing"s going for you.) Backed

Hi T.L., I am hooked from the onset in Seeking Eleanor. You set the stage beautifully, securing your contract with the reader. I willingly kept going without question, very clear to me who Devon is and what he is about. I am happy to use my imagination to dare to believe this enthralling tale, and I will keep reading because all the ingredients are there for a spellbounding read. Wishing you all the best. Happy to back!

Fascinating concept. I like the idea of Soul Protectors and the character of Devon.

Your pitch is a little confusing in the sentence: "Danger looms overhead when Soul Hunters target Eleanor's pure soul, but an even greater obstacle emerges; the feelings they hold for one another." First, there should be a colon instead of a semicolon. Second, "they" seems to refer to the Soul Hunters and Eleanor, but I'm pretty sure it's Devon and Eleanor who share feelings for each other.

Anyway, this story is intriguing, and I'm backing it.

Best,

David Wisehart
Devil's Lair

An interesting concept. Not realy my genre but I was happy to keep reading.
I know this type of book is very popular , I just dont have that t much experience to critic it.
I though it was well put together and the charecters are believable.

Sue mackender - Knowing Liam Riley

Great pitch - I can't thank-you enough for helping me with mine. And nice touch with the quote to start things off. I just read the first chapter and I'm amazed at how well you've introduced us to the physical characteristics of the main character, his history, current struggles, and conflicts that lie ahead. You spread it out well, and kept my attention througout the whole first chapter.

I look forward to reading the rest of what you've posted for us. More comments to come!

Hi
I read it with sheer interest. I love this. The narration is good
BAcked with wishes.
S. Vinay Kumar