Book Jacket

 

rank 5468
word count 17355
date submitted 28.07.2009
date updated 29.07.2009
genres: Non-fiction, Biography, Harper True...
classification: universal
incomplete

In The Blender

Joanna Danks

The Blending Stepmother's Guide to Surviving the Early Years.

 

IT’S A GOOD JOB BLENDING FAMILIES HAS A FUNNY SIDE. Gutsy heroines, murderous intent, broken blood bonds, tension, treachery and trauma ... becoming a stepmother when you already have a child has hazards all of its own. At long last, here’s the gloves-off guide which tackles the second-time-around marriage moshpit for single mothers who are getting to grips with stepmotherhood. Packed full of confessions and secrets of other blending stepmothers, here is all the encouragement, direction and camaraderie you need to get you through the early blending years. JOANNA DANKS is an author and creative writing tutor. A mother, stepmother, wife and survivor of a lousy divorce, she lives more peacefully than before in the United Kingdom with her Mr Really Right This Time, her girls and the blended family dog.

 
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argument, birthday, blending, boss, budget, celebration, child, children, christmas, daughter, depression, discipline, divorce, ex-husband, ex-wife, f...

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30 comments

 

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Jo D wrote 926 days ago

Thanks, Claire! It's available at www.lulu.com and should be on Amazon soon.


Oh my God! Reading this made me wonder if you have a birds eye view of my life.
As a stepmum to my husbands eleven year old son and having a sixteen year old daughter, I just loved this. And yes my daughter changed the spelling of her name too, from Amber to Ambah.
This is very well written and true to life. I love the term 'blending stepmother.'
I would definately buy this if I saw it in a shop, the cover is great and would really catch my eye. I am sure every stepmum out there would benefit from this book, it made me realise that I am not alone!

Backed and Shelved

Claire

Favell2208 wrote 927 days ago

Oh my God! Reading this made me wonder if you have a birds eye view of my life.
As a stepmum to my husbands eleven year old son and having a sixteen year old daughter, I just loved this. And yes my daughter changed the spelling of her name too, from Amber to Ambah.
This is very well written and true to life. I love the term 'blending stepmother.'
I would definately buy this if I saw it in a shop, the cover is great and would really catch my eye. I am sure every stepmum out there would benefit from this book, it made me realise that I am not alone!

Backed and Shelved

Claire

scottkenny wrote 1003 days ago

Hi clever Joanna, I was drawn to it by the fandabbydozy cover and interesting blurb. Your book is very well written and engaging. It reads like a novel but one feels it's truth. There will be many who will be grateful for your experience and advice. I shall watch this with interest and hope it gets the input and credit it deserves. Good stuff, Scott.

Jo D wrote 1017 days ago

Bless you - this really made me smile! I'm finding it hard to make headway in the online marketing arena and it makes SUCH a difference to have a personal note like this. Thank you! Jo

Already backed this days ago, but came back to read chapter 3 (which you had not yet posted) because I simply wanted to. And I had to laugh at Katie, K8, K8ee, etc. I'm not a step, but I have a preteen already searching for identity. This is something all parents can relate to.

B. J. Winters wrote 1017 days ago

Already backed this days ago, but came back to read chapter 3 (which you had not yet posted) because I simply wanted to. And I had to laugh at Katie, K8, K8ee, etc. I'm not a step, but I have a preteen already searching for identity. This is something all parents can relate to.

Philip Carlton wrote 1017 days ago

There must be thousands of people who can relate to this, and will enjoy reading it, and biographies are always popular. It's good to see how others cope with their problems and come out triumphant in the end.
My two are grown up now. That's my daughter on my book cover. She's the baddie in Poppet's Bedtime, more or less autobiograhical, that one.
All the best. Phil. (Hallam's Ghosts)

Nicky Jones wrote 1019 days ago

OMG. I really could have done with this book some years back, Jo. I have been there and got the T shirt, as they say. I am a stepmother of 2 and my biological children have a stepmother as well. Lots of challenges as you so obviously know. It is an area of life long neglected in print,(even in my own autobiographical book, I now realise), but your work fills the gap so beautifully. Best of luck in getting it placed. Nicky. SHELVED.

Jo D wrote 1020 days ago

Thanks, Jared! Very encouraging - glad I have found this site ... :-)

Why are you only on two bookshelves? And one of those is me. I've just had another read and think it is wonderful. There must be a market for this.
I'm keeping you on my shelf so anyone looking at my home page will notice you and hopefully read your book.
Jared (Member of a small but discerning group of active supporters)

Paolito wrote 1021 days ago

In the Blender...

I love this...and I've never had kids, even my own!

I like your daughter's post-its, the snippets from other blending stepmothers, and your writing style.

Start building your platform now, get your line-editing done (could be tightened in places), and get this out there.

An important book. I see you on talk shows, maybe even Oprah. Great stuff.

Shelved enthusiastically and without a qualm.

Cheers,
Sheryl
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 1021 days ago

Very funny, this will be a real hit on here. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Paolito wrote 1021 days ago

In the Blender...

Commenting as I go along, starting with your intro...

Love the alliteration. Again, only nits and nothing substantive:

1. watch out for the word "that"...you might be using it too often and unnecessarily, and in one case it should be "who;"

2. "Hopefully" is misused (I was a little turd when younger, always correcting people's grammar. Now I'm a big turd.)

Love your chapter title, BTW.

Reading on...

Paolito wrote 1021 days ago

In the Blender...

Great pitch! I only have two suggestions and they're nits:

1. break up into more paragraphs (at "At long last," and at your name).
2. change the sentence that begins with "Packed" because it's grammatically incorrect, sort of...might be better to use your title IN THE BLENDER instead of "here is" and then make some minor amendments to make the sentence flow.

If the text is anything like the pitch, I can see this being a huge success.

Reading on...

Keefieboy wrote 1021 days ago

I think you've hit on a good market here (although I think the blender analogy needs a bit of work - I thought this might have been a book about mixing cocktails or making soup) - clear, well-written and funny. K8 sounds like fun. Shelved.

Jo D wrote 1022 days ago

Thanks for your kind words, Simon! I was hoping to hear from a stepfather sometime - yours is another target market largely uncatered for, I think. Hmmm ... perhaps a sequel, if this one ever gets off the ground!
All the best -
Jo



I'm a stepfather but not in a blended family. All the same, I recognised so much of this as relevant. If, as you indicate, the issue of blended stepfamilies isn't really covered by published books at present, then this is a must!

I really liked the way you broke up the text with the occasional quote from others in a similar situation; even more, I liked Katie K8 K8ee Kayt's Post-It notes, and the little scenes with Rowena. They're delightful, and capture the teen moods brilliantly.

There's a lovely wit at work her - I loved the 'collide-a-scope' image - as well as a soothing, sensible, reassuring guide to the perils and pitfalls of making a blended family. I think you've spotted a genuine gap in the market and come up with a book that fills the gap more than adequately. This really ought to be out there as a guide, a helping hand in print, for the many, growing more in number all the time, who would find its words of wisdom as refreshing as a glass of water or a blast of fresh air.

Simon

SAStirling wrote 1022 days ago

I'm a stepfather but not in a blended family. All the same, I recognised so much of this as relevant. If, as you indicate, the issue of blended stepfamilies isn't really covered by published books at present, then this is a must!

I really liked the way you broke up the text with the occasional quote from others in a similar situation; even more, I liked Katie K8 K8ee Kayt's Post-It notes, and the little scenes with Rowena. They're delightful, and capture the teen moods brilliantly.

There's a lovely wit at work her - I loved the 'collide-a-scope' image - as well as a soothing, sensible, reassuring guide to the perils and pitfalls of making a blended family. I think you've spotted a genuine gap in the market and come up with a book that fills the gap more than adequately. This really ought to be out there as a guide, a helping hand in print, for the many, growing more in number all the time, who would find its words of wisdom as refreshing as a glass of water or a blast of fresh air.

Simon

Jo D wrote 1023 days ago

Hi Joanna!

I'm a stepmother, so could have shelved this book by just reading the title! This is an absolute must for trying to keep women sane as they deal with in-laws, out-laws, ex-laws - oh yeah, and the kids! My oldest three were "wedding gifts" and are truly a blessing, but nothing about the situation is easy, especially at first.

You've got a nice humorous style to your writing, which I think is excellent for this type of book. I love the notes from your Katie intermingled, especially enjoyed watching her name morph from one version to another!

When this is published, I'll be the first in line to buy one. For now, I'll have to be content with putting it on my virtual shelf. Well done - great idea, and it'll be a must-read for any step-mom!

Kim



Hi, Kim - that's a lovely message, many thanks. I've just self-published it, actually - it's available at http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/in-the-blender/7431821 if you'd like to buy it. All the very best, and thanks so much for shelving it!

Jo

aislingb wrote 1024 days ago

Very enjoyable. I love your chapter heading. I'm sure a lot of people can empathise with this. I suggest you look at your adverbs and try to replace them with stronger verbs. I don't have time to read more as I'm heading into work but will do so when I get the time. Shelved.

Jo D wrote 1024 days ago

Thank you so much! Apologies for the delayed response - I'm only just getting to grips with navigating this rather energetic site ... :-)
Jo


Big welcome to Authonomy......a mate of mine has just written a novel about stepmothers (Sam Baker).....so it's obviously in the zeitgeist. I try to escape from non-fiction on this site (as it's what I do in 'real' life) but this looks fun as well as wise, so will put on my WL.

LawsonBlacklock wrote 1024 days ago

My sister is a step mother and would love this! Shelved my dear... best of luck to you! Is very funny how Katie becomes K8... had me in giggles. L.x

Kim Jewell wrote 1024 days ago

Hi Joanna!

I'm a stepmother, so could have shelved this book by just reading the title! This is an absolute must for trying to keep women sane as they deal with in-laws, out-laws, ex-laws - oh yeah, and the kids! My oldest three were "wedding gifts" and are truly a blessing, but nothing about the situation is easy, especially at first.

You've got a nice humorous style to your writing, which I think is excellent for this type of book. I love the notes from your Katie intermingled, especially enjoyed watching her name morph from one version to another!

When this is published, I'll be the first in line to buy one. For now, I'll have to be content with putting it on my virtual shelf. Well done - great idea, and it'll be a must-read for any step-mom!

Kim

Jared wrote 1025 days ago

Why are you only on two bookshelves? And one of those is me. I've just had another read and think it is wonderful. There must be a market for this.
I'm keeping you on my shelf so anyone looking at my home page will notice you and hopefully read your book.
Jared (Member of a small but discerning group of active supporters)

Jane Alexander wrote 1026 days ago

Oh it's good, it's very good. I've written a fair few 'self-help' books but I wish I'd had the sheer guts to write them like this! I love the way you blend the autobiographical with those almost laconic tips at the end of the chapters. Also love K8ee et al and her notes....
Fabbity fab.

Jared wrote 1026 days ago

Excellent pitch. Only read a small excerpt but enough to know I want to read more. No time now but looking forward to reading more of a splendid book. On my shelf
Jared

C W Bigelow wrote 1027 days ago

Insightful, humorous and very helpful. I have a daughter who will probably be going through the same thing and when this comes out I'll certainly suggest she read it. Shelved. CW (To Save the Sun and Naked as Father at Breakfast and other Stories.)

teen4writing wrote 1027 days ago

Hi Ms. Danks!

I saw that Krista had shelved this, and came to take a look at the first few chapters. I love it! You incorporate simple but useful bits of advice while simultaneously telling an entertaining story. Not only is the book funny, but you also connect to your readers, and I'm sure you will have a huge audience with this - and that the book will go very far!

Shelved with pleasure. :)

Best of luck,
Sara
Broken Angel

cara_ruegg wrote 1027 days ago

this is a very humurous witty story great for any kind of mother and even those teens who may symphasize with their mother's :) liked it very much. shelved.

Shugaferd wrote 1027 days ago

Krista (Riley's Gift) sent me over...
Excellent....much needed in our world today.
Good luck with it.
-Shug

Jane Alexander wrote 1027 days ago

Big welcome to Authonomy......a mate of mine has just written a novel about stepmothers (Sam Baker).....so it's obviously in the zeitgeist. I try to escape from non-fiction on this site (as it's what I do in 'real' life) but this looks fun as well as wise, so will put on my WL.

B. J. Winters wrote 1027 days ago

I saw you on Krista's shelf and had to take a peak. I don't share the same family situation, but I can relate to change and the dynamic. I like how you have this formatted which makes it easier to read and adds character.

You definitely know your target audience - how could you not! Good luck with this

Krista Darrach wrote 1027 days ago

In the Blender---
Joanna,
OMG!!!!!!
You are my hero....what a wonderful book you've written. If only I'd had this 17 years ago...
If only I'd had thought to write it *green with envy*.
This is truely wonderful. Usually as I read I take notes and jot down my ideas. I couldn't do that with this book... because I wanted to jot down everything.

Only thing I would suggest is to break up your long pitch -make it two paragraphs. The online reading thing is much better with more white space.

exerpt:
"Either that, or they assumed that no single mother of the future would be idiotic enough to take on a new partner and his offspring in addition to her own, much less attempt to help raise the under the watchful eye of his ex."

I love how you point out that going in we aren't prepared. If I even had an incling in any way shape of form what was in store for me... I would have gone screaming from the earth. (for I can't think of anywhere I could run to, that would be far enough.)

When I read the part where you describe your reader..."I know you are..."
What an amazing way to emotionally connect to your reader....immediately they are drawn to you. Truely Brillant.

I commend you for your ability to write this, the tenacity it took and of course.. for being a wonderful stepmother, and an awesome example of hope.

What a wonderful tool this book is to EVERY new step mother - and what a reinforcment it is to those of us who have survived being a stepmother. (Thus all my step children are raised- now I have grandkids-the greatest blessings).
I wish you all the best in this climbing up the charts at Authonomy - not to mention getting it published.
I for one would BUY IT. (and several copies to hand out to those I know need it...and there are many!)
Shelved!
Krista Darrach
--Riley's Gift

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