Saving Starfish

This is one of my favourite books on this site. The subject matter is significant for many reasons, and the story comes across as authentic. The style is as artistic as Albert's painting, and it engages the reader very easily. I like the characters and I think the moods and setting have been captured perfectly. The emotions and passion in this book are enriching making it a very memorable read. It has a clever structure and plot. I would happily buy this book and I hope it receives the recognition it deserves.

Backed for a while as it so deserves a place on my shelf.

Lisa

"Saving Starfish" is a very well written book, in which the balance between description, dialogue and action is close to perfect, and the prose is everywhere restrained and naturalistic. Nothing is overdone, and one finds oneself drawn into the book, wanting always to know what will happen next ... and next ... and next ... because these are people we can quickly come to care about.
The characters are immediately memorable, and move by virtue of their reality, not like the empty puppets on strings one finds in so many 'action' books. This is a book I would recommend, will back, and will look forward one day to reading as a complete book in my hands. If I saw it in the bookshop, I would buy it tomorrow.
Roger

'Saving Starfish' is a magnetic read that builds up a momentum akin to a distant army one hears approaching. Great story.

You show Albert very well as a sensitive artist in contrast with the more patriotic brothers in a troubled era. The family, the wartime, the bucolic village setting are described without excess.

You have a knack for political/social themes through dialogue, e.g. Christian/Stefania (chap9)...talking about National Socialism, art, and limitations imposed on the Jews.

Your style is consistent throughout whether it be in Paris or a concentration camp. We ride a crest of emotion.

Backed!

Miguel
Absentee Bidder

Spellbinding writing, dealing with significant themes which are of importance to all.
There's a heartfelt poignancy which reminded me of certain episodes in Nabokov's 'Pnin'; this is a compliment to the writing and, of course, the accomplishment of 'Saving Starfish''s author.

Superb descriptions, flawless characterisation - this book merits success, such is its' artistry.
Though fictional, this 'feels' like lives experienced, lives lived; testament to the author's imagination and, once again, underscores how his themes are those which affect all peoples, in every era.

Passionate yet poetic, 'Saving Starfish' is so good it makes one ache for more from David McLaren.

The writing is progressive and very descriptive.The introduction of Albert and Joseph is brilliant. I have read a few chapters and decided to back 'Saving Starfish' because I am definitely going to read the complete book. Such intense scenes have been approached with both ease and precision. I jumped to Postscript out of curiosity and love the way the story ends.
Puja
The Wise Man Says

Saving Starfish- I really like the way that you've introduced this story. At first, I was taken aback by the sudden switching of POV, but once I grew accustomed to it, I found myself well grounded in your story. The way you bring to life both Albert's and Joseph's separate family relationships in the beginning was so gripping for me as a reader. I feel that Albert and Joseph come from such different worlds, and yet oddly enough they feel very similar. They both make the same decision, for different reasons, but I sense the same reluctance in both of them, as though the route they are chosing is most definitely not what they wanted for their lives, but rather some form of compulsion has overridden them.

I do feel like the start was slow, but I think it works well for your book. The first chapter alone does an excellent job of setting up a brooding and heavy tone for your book. I think that youcapture the era exceptionally well. Historical fiction is an extrememly challenging genre, but this book feels so natural to me.

I am gladly supproting this and cannot wait to read more. Glad that I stumbled across this manuscript. In many way it reminds me of my current work-in-progress... the tone especially. Best of luck snagging an agent.

Carrie L. McRae
Dust in the Wind

Do you happen to know a caregiver who might enjoy a book that I hope will encourage, uplift, and support those who sacrifice their time and energy for invalids, the sick, and the old? Please encourage the caregiver you know to register with authonomy.com and take a look at my book, Treading Water With God. Peace, Veronica

Saving Starfish

Hi David

I am so sorry I have not come across this little gem before, the description is exquisite, there is a wonderful languid rhythm to the scene and like all very good writing it is not simply the new we see with fresh eyes, but it is the old as well. I could see that picture he was painting, a clever bit of regression, we view him painting the picture, he views the countryside and we learn around that quite a lot about him. Powerful end to the first chapter too, a vivid piece of writing. All I would say in terms of areas for improvement would be that you probably, like most of us on this site, love the English word too much and you indulge that passion a little too much, which slows the pace down. No problem for me, I loved the writing, but you might want to slay a few more of your darlings and ramp up the pace a little. This is of course if you are thinking of securing a publisher. But none of that takes away from what you've managed here, a great piece of prose and a powerful and interesting characterization, a wonderful title too.

Excellent stuff, best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
Benevolence

Your novel that sprawls two wars and several main characters caught my attention. Your writing is both beautiful and sensitive as you climb into your characters' thoughts and feelings. I only read the first chapter and can already tell that you are a gifted storyteller and writer.

On my shelf.

Patricia
Super-Nature Heroes

hi David, fine writing, with a painter's eye for detail and nuance. clever interweaving of A's & J's worlds.
on my shelf.
i could send only kudos but have a very minor thought about commas. coould be just my read, but i saw some that i think are unnecessary - they interrupt the flow of your wonderful prose.
e.g.: ".... and through the valley, a river..." - maybe - "and through the valley a river" ?
best wishes, andy

This is one of my favourite books on this site. The subject matter is significant for many reasons, and the story comes across as authentic. The style is as artistic as Albert's painting, and it engages the reader very easily. I like the characters and I think the moods and setting have been captured perfectly. The emotions and passion in this book are enriching making it a very memorable read. It has a clever structure and plot. I would happily buy this book and I hope it receives the recognition it deserves.

Backed for a while as it so deserves a place on my shelf.

Lisa

You have an intriguing tale, and an excellent story-telling style. Characters are well drawn, and scene setting is crisp. You may need a careful edit to eradicate minor errors - eg when you first introduce us to Joseph Muller you use the phrase: "It would be soon dusk..." whereas "It would soon be dusk...." reads better. But on the whole this is excellent and I am happy to back it. Colin

David, It takes a very gifted writerto recount such a horrific time in history. To be able to tell it from both sides in such a heartfelt, mesmerizing way is a huge accomplishment. There have been books,movies and countless othermaterialcovering this war but you do it in such a human way, it reminds me of the movie " Life is Beautiful" in its tone. I love it, and you wrote this brilliantly. I have no doubt of its success... Bravo Backed without hesitation. Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

Terrible times. You put this together well and your narative is fine, but in 34 you write 'Christian's mind was in a turmoil' I don't think that line is necessary. What follows shows us all we need to know.
A good story well told.
Backed

David,

A very strong first chapter. Two different families, two different young men, facing very similar dilemas. All sensitively portrayed, with good descriptions, vivid dialogue and a good sense of pace.

Nothing to offer by way of constructive criticism.

Backed.

I've only read Chapter 1 so far, but it reads beautifully. The language is rich and the opening scene is compelling. I'm happy to back this. Thanks for your support and comments too.

Annabel - Exposed

Dear David,
What a stunning juxtaposition between Albert and Joseph's family. I identified more with Albert. I remember ripping up some of my young adult poetry in an impulsive act just as he set fire to his painting. A cry for justice in a less than perfect world. The last paragraph of your first chapter is beautiful and moving. The references to his childhood and the natural world around him are poignant and melancholy, beautifully poetic.

I hope you have a chance to read some of my book MEMORIES OF GLORY. Glory is a Jewish teenage girl who interacts with her surroundings in some similarities to Albert. Though the story is completely different, I think you might like it. Some of your paragraph that I alluded to above, compare with the beginning of my chapter 16. It's about spring, and how difficult it can be.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Beautifully written and a superb combination of seamless description and compelling dialogue. I was captured by your connection with the natural world and the darker elements of the human condition.
Best wishes

Richard

This book begins with the unusual twin viewpoints of young boys making the decision to go to war. Each has their own reasons for taking such and action which in Albert's case is welcomed by his father while in Joseph's his family have their own reasons to wish that he would wait. This is a well-written strong plotted story that deserves to do well. good Luck. K.J. RAbane - According to Olwen

The contrasts in your comparisons of the families are striking. Backed.

David
The writing is powerful and descriptive with well defined characters set in a well integrated time frame.
Deserves main stream publication.
Kind regards
Jane

This is a keenly written historical romance. Thought provoking plot. Very believable characaters and vivid scenes. Cinematic period descriptions. Convincing dialogue. Confident writing. A first rate read. Backed.

Hi David

A very strong convincing opening to a book with challenging subject matter. The depiction of the period and the contrasting characters of Albert and Joseph is well done. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Great to have a novel with a German point of view. Lots of show not tell, and an easy to read style.

Backed.

'Saving Starfish' is a magnetic read that builds up a momentum akin to a distant army one hears approaching. Great story.

You show Albert very well as a sensitive artist in contrast with the more patriotic brothers in a troubled era. The family, the wartime, the bucolic village setting are described without excess.

You have a knack for political/social themes through dialogue, e.g. Christian/Stefania (chap9)...talking about National Socialism, art, and limitations imposed on the Jews.

Your style is consistent throughout whether it be in Paris or a concentration camp. We ride a crest of emotion.

Backed!

Miguel
Absentee Bidder

You have crafted such a brilliant story line here, which captivates its audience. Well written with believable characters. At times heart wrenching and moving, and then exciting and compelling. Well done. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Dear David
firstly the book cover wow. took me straight away. your pitch both short and long really set the stage for me well and when i started reading i found your work to be compelling. you have really captured an essence here not just of Germany in these times but also your characters are so breathing. they are in my head as real as myself and that is incredible. I dont know how i passed this book when i came on site but i did, so glad i found it this time. All these arrows are red and going down so i have no idea whether you are up or down but, I will carry on reading and comment further on as I would like to get this book of yours backed to assist it on the climb to the top.
Backed for sure my me. ..I would really appreciate it if your would look at my book, COMMENT , and back it. If not that is OK also
The VERY best of luck with your book

Denise
The Letter

You do an excellent job of capturing the essence of Germany through WWI and WWII. You have crafted a most compelling and interesting storyline and I like your use of imagery. Your story is character rich and I especially like how you build the characters of Christian and Stefania. All of this coupled with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

This reads well, David, though I'd suggest a few areas which could be tightened up. For example, in talking about the athelticism of one of the characters while he's in conversation with his father, perhaps have the father reminisce proudly about that thus underlining his own attitudes; the son with a retort about never having fought childhood battles willingly to underline his. Perhaps you could also do with losing 'This time there was no mistake' with the eagle attack.

Good writing and a good premise. The above are minor suggestions for style and editing, no more than that.

I was confused at first, but only because I didn't read the pitch properly. I thought it was WW2, but then there was mention of the Emperor, and then a Jew was volunteering to fight for Germany. So OK, WW1 to begin with, and Auschwitz comes later. Your writing is impeccable. I have no hesitation in backing it. Marj.

A riveting, often gritty story. The characters are realistic and the writing is very good. The description of the early battle scene where they use the body as a bridge over the wire is harrowing. The scene where Simon dies is heartrending. The pace is just right.

Although this is not my usual genre, I found the first chapter captivating. This seems like a solid piece. Best wishes to you.
~K. McCracken
What the Heart Wants

This is well written and I could see myself getting right into your story.

I have enjoyed many books written during WW2 and for some reason like this period so this coupled with the romance would have me curling up with this. By the pitch I know I would pick this up to discover your take on the period as it seemed a unique and different idea.

I don't think I could add anything to help here as you writing is polished and wonderfully descriptive and I easily become involved in your characters world. Knowing Albert's fate builds the tension for me and I know I only touched the surface here as your pitch promises an epic journey.

This is already published, so I don't know if you're here for input or publicity. In any case, I have no critiques for this. Beautifully, expertly written. Just brilliantly done. As for the cover, if you get to republish this, I'd change it because it doesn't do justice to the depth of your writing. Looks like a light romance read from the cover. Excellent job on the writing, though.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

A beatifully written first ch. which is portentous of ominous events to come. Well done. I hope to read more soon. God luck. A pleasure to back. Gordon (The Harpist of Madrid)

David,

In all your great work, I found that the line "There was no place for a perfect painting in an imperfect world," set the tone and backdrop for the rest of the book.

I read your profile. Cancer, and pages filled with war, holocaust, death, life, valor, and hope against a settting of vilent hopelessness blend very well. My wife of 48 years is a two-time cancer survivor, I am a retired military veteran and old enough to personalize much of what you have written because I was born soon enough after it all happened to be saturated by a society filled with its memories and regrets.

If you were to paint this story it would have to be done in greyscale, no crimson bunny blood, and no crimson Jewish blood. Your storyline captures the reader and draws him into a downword spiral of pre-war and wartime scenarios that break hearts, mould mindsets, challenge our sense of well-being, and invade our comfort zones as we try to forget it ever happened.

You have wordsmithed the perfectly imperfect rise of bravery and nobility amid an impossibly possible setting in which it was not feasible to be anything but what the Führer dictated.

I found myself transported into a world in which I did not want to be that you made so real that I was glad I could escape by just stopping reading. You handled the storyline, development of characters, places and the times in a masterly fashion. You did your research in an expert manner, and then presented what you found in a highly skilled manner.

I back your work, however, I found myself a bit depressed, a great deal guilty over sitting back and doing nothing as your story evolved, and just plan wanting to experience some sunshine and flowers upon finishing.

PawPaw Mike LaRiviere
Eden's Door

Loved it, best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blooc Chronicles book one

You've got an interesting and compelling story here, and the writing complements it nicely. Nice melancholy touch to it. Happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

Immersely gripping and written with amazing depth. This is a classic.

backed

I agree with many of the earlier reviewers, this is very well written. I like the line about propaganda. It's always true: history and news is nationalistic. "It only brings misery, it never solves anything." Many will debate that, but it's true. You are right, "hope refuses to die." Even so, "Judith now knew for certain she and Sarah would never hear the sound of songbirds ever again." Thank you for uploading the complete work. I can come back and read more when I get a little time. Backed for now.

David -- You drew me in with your excellent opening scene, and captured my attention throughout the first chapter. I love the setting & era, and I find your characters well-drawn and interesting. I am looking forward to reading more, but I feel confident in backing you based on your first chapter.

Thank you too for your lovely comments on The Long Black Veil.

I have read this before BUT I can't find my comments. I loved it the first time...still do.
Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

I've only read the first chapter, but I already like this. I enjoy books of this era, and this book is going to be a page turner, I can tell. The descriptions are wonderful, and your use of the language superb. Backed, with every intention of returning to read more, bit by bit.

Amy
Love Match

This is some tough stuff. You write skilfully from the sorrow of his mother to the pride of his father. Joseph is only seventeen but takes to the front line like a pro. This is gripping stuff and written with such strong emotion.
I hope you wont mind my suggestins you first few paragraphs are a bit sloe thats because of using the word 'had'
Albert had captured the ficker of sunlight. Albert captured the flicker of sunlight.
This had sneaked up on him. This sneaked up on him. For the last few hours his mind had been free of anguish as each careful stroke had brushed away both pain and memories. You can lose the secong had it makes it far more powerful.

You have some brilliant one line descriptives.. Joseph refused the offer of assistance from the porter with drinkers nose. Brilliantly visual. Backed

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley
I hope you can spare 15 mins to have a qick read and write a line or two XX

This is some tough stuff. You write skilfully from the sorrow of his mother to the pride of his father. Joseph is only seventeen but takes to the front line like a pro. This is gripping stuff and written with such strong emotion.
I hope you wont mind my suggestins you first few paragraphs are a bit sloe thats because of using the word 'had'
Albert had captured the ficker of sunlight. Albert captured the flicker of sunlight.
This had sneaked up on him. This sneaked up on him. For the last few hours his mind had been free of anguish as each careful stroke had brushed away both pain and memories. You can lose the secong had it makes it far more powerful.

You have some brilliant one line descriptives.. Joseph refused the offer of assistance from the porter with drinkers nose. Brilliantly visual. Backed

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley
I hope you can spare 15 mins to have a qick read and write a line or two XX

Yes this is well writen like some have probably already said, but it did not grip me. I read the first chapter and it did grip me at first since I wondered what the hell and why Albert destroyed the painting, and I did get the whole "artists going to war" thing but I wasn't really interested how it will play out. The fault lies with me tho and doesnt reflect the quality of writing...I simply never read books from this genre. But I had the feeling this would evolve a lot so I feel kindof bad for commenting after reading just one chapter when you have so many words posted...

This is wonderful. The alternate vignettes of Albert and Joseph's lives in ch 1 introduce them perfectly (trying to find a nit-pick, maybe you use 'Albert' more than you need to in the first section, when 'he' would be enough) Then in ch 2 we have them meeting and again the scenes are marvellously written, with a chilling last line. All in all, brilliant.

04 May 2010
09:58

Saving Starfish has a strong pitch which attracted my interest immediately. (The problem with the site is that one has to trawl and finds the better books only by chance. I digress!) The writing is sharp, crisp and refreshing like the atmosphere and mountain scene beautifully described in the opening lines. This author certainly needs no reminding of the mantra 'Show, don't tell'. I will look forward to reading this MS with pleasure and anticipation. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

"Saving Starfish" is a very well written book, in which the balance between description, dialogue and action is close to perfect, and the prose is everywhere restrained and naturalistic. Nothing is overdone, and one finds oneself drawn into the book, wanting always to know what will happen next ... and next ... and next ... because these are people we can quickly come to care about.
The characters are immediately memorable, and move by virtue of their reality, not like the empty puppets on strings one finds in so many 'action' books. This is a book I would recommend, will back, and will look forward one day to reading as a complete book in my hands. If I saw it in the bookshop, I would buy it tomorrow.
Roger

This is a wonderful read, despite you saying there are a few mistakes in it.

I thought I had read this before but I couldn't find a comment, I saw it on someone's shelf and decided to dip in.
I'm sure glad I had a look, you have a stunning imagination and an amazing way with words.

Happily shelved.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Dear David, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" your book, I will also put your book on my "watchlist." Could you please take a moment to "back" my completed unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end tells my illness now & 6th abusive marriage. I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "backing" you do moves your book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

Dear David, I love that you took the time to recount all of these events & inform us - it's astounding. Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end my illness now & 6th abusive marraiage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "comment" & "backing" you do moves your book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

I kept seeing this recommended by various people on the forum.
They were right, this is a powerfully good piece of writing.

Mesmerizing with epic proportions. Great descriptions, dialogue and structure. I've read a lot of stories about the holocaust, but this one from the POV of an SS officer offers a unique perspective. Backed with pleasure.

I hope you will take the time to read mine and back it if you like it.

Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy