If It Rains

i think this is probably the best work i have read on this site. the atmosphere evoked by your words is just right, the characters finely drawn and the backdrop rich. i have no doubt this will go far. you will remain on my shelf for sometime.

This is shining standout work Elizabeth. It is destined to move up the rankings here, just be patient. It will catch on. Unique, compelling, and startling in your ability to weave a tapestry of humane, real, likable characters I feel our are my neighbors. It pulls the reader along at an even fluid pace, wanting the know what is behind the next page. The story is interesting, the writing exceptional. A pleasant read as well. Congratulations. Happy to support it.

This book is downright exquisite. It is beautiful, dark and sumptuous prose, heavy but with a finesse as refined as rice paper. Sentences such as:

"A single star in a sky on fire. What else could they do but follow?"

"I rose from the bed and departed the way I came, limping and unemptied."

"Listen to me when I talk, Stella. I'm talking about God's infinite, wondrous glory. All of it revealed in this here potato."

And the entire prologue to chapter seven left me speechless and reeling.

Personally, I think it really worked well that the story of Stella's birth was told both in the Prologue to chapter one and in chapter one itself, because the voice is so different for each. I hope that you keep it exactly as it. So far, there isn't a single thing that I would change about this. I would buy it and relish it.

Shelved.

Being a history teacher, your 1930s Oklahoma setting drew me in. Your exceptional writing skills kept me here. Sentence by sentence, your writing pulls the reader along. Great dialogue and character descriptions. Watchlisted for now. Many stars. Very well done.

Recommended to me by Cyrus Hood

decent writing 6*

JS

Dear Elizabeth,

"If It Rains" is fine writing, powerful yet sensitive, strong in characterization and detail, a poem in prose. Admittedly, I opened your book for a trivial reason. The setting is rural and the period, the Great Depression--like much of my novel "The Doctor of Summitville." But as I read the passage starting, "Lydia bathed the child and placed her in her mother's arms," I saw something rare in today's writing: literary style. Then I soared through the first chapter and it kept getting better. The dialect of the blacks, their sordid dwellings, the rant of Stella's father and her pitiable endurance--it's classic. And I have to read on, and want everyone else to read It. Your story will soon have a place on my shelf. Far beyond that, it will find a wide audience.

Bill Carrigan
("The Doctor of Summitville")

Read your first chapter. You have a different style of writing, but it is good. It develops the story and flows super well.
Your story is original. The sadness of some of the first situations are deep.
You came up with a good title.
Good work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Wonderfully written, Elizabeth. And a terrific idea. This really should do well - you're a natural writer. Well done! Backed and 6-stars! Natalie (The Diary of John Crow)

Gosh this is great writing, reminds me so much of Erskine Caldwell. I can't believe you did not experience those times in some former life. your writing just make s me shiver Elisabeth, this is a book I will not remove from my shelf until it makes it to the editor's desk - there you are, can't say better than that!
On chapter 7 and savouring every word.

Cyrus

IF IT RAINS
This is a wonderful story. The description of Stella’s birth is great and then the realization she’s handicapped is touching. The way Stella is told she could be a second Mary I think could really happen. Best of all, tho, is the way you’re able to transport your readers back in time. Make us feel as if we’re really back in 1935. You do that by describing things with enough detail I knew what everything looked like; not so much detail you bog down the story. Very well done. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Hi Elizabeth,
here for our reading swap!
This is beautiful, lyrical writing. You have a lovely turn of phrase and the opening scene of the miscarriages and then the baby's birth is well observed and senstively told.
Stella's first person narrative in chp 1 is authentic and believeable, her voice comes through well. The dialogue is also well done, with each character having a unique voice.
This is a wonderfully gripping introduction to the premise of the book.
I have no suggestions as to how it can be improved. I'm not sure it can!!
Well done.
Highly starred by me
Sharda.
Take a look at mine when you get the chance.
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Evocative and positively dripping with emotion, this is an intelligent and finely crafted work that deserves much more time than I have at the moment. I promise to return to your work very shortly, wild horses could not keep me away from it. if this does not make the best sellers list for contemporary literature I will eat my hat. Thank you for the lesson in wordsmanship.

regards

Cyrus - Hellion 2

Elizabeth,
I happened upon your book and was immediately caught by the pitch. I have now read through chapter four. Stella has such a unique voice, she really jumps off the page. Inside her head is a comfortable place to be, despite the trials she is going through. She could have a very 'woe is me' attitude, but she does not. Your descriptions are beautiful and your similes are fresh. One of my favorites was when Stella compared her father's church to someone with a broken heart who's just been told a joke. There are rare occasions when you tell instead of show (the ride to the church was quiet or something along those lines), but they are extremely rare. You have done a wonderful job with this book so far, and I will continue reading. This is highly starred and going on my shelf soon.
Kate

Wow - I started reading this story and before I knew it I was totally sucked into the drama. I love the narrative from Stella's standpoint. She is such a heartbreakingly sweet child being raised by a religious zealot who is unstable, to say the least. The sacred potato made me LOL - but then Stella's rape and pregnancy are another whole story. This story is unravelling so beautifully and without urgency. You have such natural dialogue and these characters seem so real. I can see this book published and with a large readership. The only thing that may bring it more attention here is a better cover - JMHO. I will finish all that is uploaded but I wanted to first comment on what an excellent writer you are. I have 6 starred this and will put it on my shelf tonight when a spot opens! Back to Stella and her deep desire for wings!

Liz
The Cheech Room

I was pulled into reading If It Rains by the power of your pitch. I have only read chapter 1 but it has left a very strong and lasting impression on me. Your novel covers two very powerful subjects; religion and disability. You handle it beautifully. You paint a vivid picture of just what life was like in the American South in the 1930's; a period in history that I find fascinating. Although I felt sorry for Stella and the bad cards that life has dealt her, I never felt pity as she is a strong and determined woman. Your writing style is superb and flows well. Stella's voice is realistic. Stella's father is the one I feel pity for. He hides behind his religous beliefs and lives and judges by them even when he knows deep down that it is the wrong thing to do. If It Rains should be published one day so hang on in there! Six well deserved stars.

Kim (Pain)

I rank If It Rains among the best works I've sampled here. I was initially attracted by the premise of your story (the crazy preacher father). Your pitches are effective.

I read chapters one and eight.
Chapter one is hot, sweaty, bloody, and drop-your-pride gritty… very well written.

Chapter eight has a relaxed, laidback, homey feel to it. I come away with the impression that a lot of research was done before or while writing this. It shows in the details… it’s in the narrative voice (The floor was splintery and wanted a rug.), as well as the dialogue, which by the way is very believable. It lends depth to the characters, and gives the reader a sense of place and time.

I like this line of descriptive narrative, “Lord, those children sounded like an orchestra of consumptive seals.”

I appreciate the characterization you’ve pinned down so concisely with this line. “I wished that she would talk, ask me questions until I had no choice but to tell her everything.” ...all it tells you about Stella's personality.

I like this description: “Adelaide watered the sad rows of greenish things they called a garden.”

“One thought flitted through my head, and no one was more surprised by it than I: He is my future…” When I first read this, it gave me a chill. Now, how did you manage that with this line? “…no one was more surprised by it than I…” No one other than her could possibly be aware of the thought. You may want to say, “…no one could’ve been more surprised…” But, like I said, it worked for me, regardless that it doesn’t hold water. You are describing an epiphany here… and that, I know, is a challenge. I suspect that what makes it work in this instance is that the writing leading up to it is virtually flawless.

I have not found one error (unless you’d consider the case above, which I think is debatable), not the tiniest of nits. In a nutshell, your writing is exceptional. I think it’s a six star story.

I read the last chapter again. What a great way to end the story. No words had to be said. I loved it and it made me feel good. It was sad that Ruth was not heard of. Maybe in a second book, eh?

It has been a few days since I read If It Rains. I still think about the trials that Stella went through and the spirit that she showed. It shows what kind of book that this is. The characters become a part of you. These days we can all use a shot of inspiration and the life of Stella Blackstone will provide this for all who read this wonderful story.

"My Boy's Daddy"

A very , very powerful first chapter , which enters very imaginatively and with a great sense of authenticity the life of a vulnerable young girl during the Depression - this is definitely not a roman a clef! - unless its indirect. I must say I was absolutely riveted from the point that the girl discovered she was pregnant and the utter brutality of the options open to her . Also very convincing was the interaction between black and white - the peculiar , characteristic locutions were perfectly captured . I wonder if you might possibly have the time to look at the first chapter of my novel 'A Buccaneer' , which is an historical , adventure romance set amongst Pirates in the 17th century it includes lost love, the Great Plague of London , Sir Henry Morgan , a fight with a shark and an anaconda , a five handed duel , beautiful Spanish ladies and much more . Watchlisted and starred .(possibly backed soon) , with best wishes from Strachan Gordon.

Dear Elizabeth, This is a very nice story - very atmospheric and engaging. You have a good writing style that holds the attention, with vivid, life-like scenarios. I have no doubt that you will find well-deserved success with this tale and I congratulate you accordingly.
Kind regards,
Uncas

Elizabeth, I am greatly impressed by your work. Truthfully, my intention was to read some of your work comment and ask you to do the same for me; I never imagined that I would be so drawn into your story. It is well written, the flow and pace of your story is perfect. I am able to visualize it all happening right before me. Well done and highly starred; I've also decided to place your book on my shelf. Best wishes
G.W. ~A Series of Moments: A Place to Call Home~

Hello Elizabeth,

I love the pitch for your book! I'm looking forward to reading more :-)

If you have a chance I would love for you to take a look at my book Why Didn't Someone Tell Me? The Truth About Love. It is aimed at teen and young adult women, and discusses the realities of love and romance that no one talks about. It has lots of scripture in it, and my hope is that it will help young ladies gain godly perspective about their futures and the beauty that God has in store for them.

Best of luck with your book!
RJ Stanley

Elizabeth this is explosive, fabulous storytelling with lovely writing and imagery. I was taken completely by surprise by the father's reaction to the pregnancy, the violence was completely unexpected and perfectly paced. I look forward to reading the rest.

Your opening really captured me. That first simile of stirring sugar into tea is so good I want to pinch it! I thought the birth scene was excellent and am wondering why this book is not higher up the charts here.

In Chapter 1, I think Stella's voice is strong. Not sure you need to repeat how she got her name as it was very fresh in my mind, but otherwise this is compelling stuff. I will keep reading.
Best,
Kate
The Licenser

I've read everything under Chapter 1 and it looks like it's going to be a good read, the pitch got my interest. I just wondered if the bit with Stella's mother is a recent addition? Because when we switch to Stella's point of view, some things are repeated about the birth that perhaps don't need to be. Best of luck :)

What a powerful ending. I have read many books in my day and this is as good as any of them. I have been a Christian for many years and I have heard so many sermons and read so many Christian books over the years. But the final paragraph will be one that I will think about for a long, long time. This is a story of courage and faith. What a testament to the human spirit. Thank you for giving me the honor of reading it.

"My Boy''s Daddy"

Just happened upon your book. I try to support my wife, Faith Rose and her book, Now to Him. I am "My Boy's Daddy." I told her that I was reading this book that I can not stop reading. She goes on to tell me that she loves your book. In fact, you are making miss the Kentucky/Louisville basketball game as I am having a hard time stopping. Every scene has so much meaning. I am still on the bus to Oklahoma and I am spell bound as I read. I feel like you are on that bus just writing what you are seeing. I will comment again as I read more. This book will soon be on my shelf.

Elizabeth,

The early pages of 'If it Rains' are beautifully written, with the hallmark and feel of an epic Great American Novel, with a touch of the John Steinbeck's about it. There's so much to admire here. The voice is so strong, the prose smooth, the characters real and sympthetic, and quality storytelling which really draws the reader in from the first few sentences.

Only one thing jumped out at me, in what is an outstanding start. In the prologue, you've overloaded with similies, which felt were a little too writerly and considered.

'like sugar in tea'

'like used stockings'

'like an over-ripe plum'

'like a pendulum'

I'm not saying you should take all these out, but when they come so thick and fast, it tends to knock the reader out of the story. I always find that if they don't really add much to a sentence then perhaps they shouldn't be there. But I might in the minority.

The shift from third to first person works very well for me.

On a techincal front, this is highly polished stuff, with a very advanced draft feel to it. The only other thing I would suggest is that you shortened down the chapters (even just for the purposes of this site), to make it a little more accessible for people who read from the screen.

That said, one of the best things I've read on the site so far. Happy to give you 6*'s and a long run on my shelf.

Best of luck with your writing

NA 'The Butterfly and the Wheel'

Hello Elizabeth-

book- If it Rains-

I got so engrossed in this epic read last night that it was 12 pm before I realized it-
It was that that eye catching cover and then the well written pitch that brought me in for the read-
That striking last line in the pitch made me think indeed- very good- liked it-
I read the first four chapters and at least four more of the twenty posted of this epic story -
You have me spell bound with this literary read . has to be the best in this genre I have read in a long time; as
I followed the hardships of Stella and the relationship she has with her father -
Like the letter that Ruth sends to him, the reverend---
the writing captures every thing in the minds eye to perfection; laying out the Oklahoma and the sweeping country side to perfection- You have recreated a vivid picture how life was during the period of the 30s
This is a book one could go back to time after time; it's a journey -a historic saga with an unforgettable first person narrator-as she listens to her father preaching the word of God'

great stuff and highly recommended-
tom bye Dublin Ireland
book - from hugs to kisses-
please glance at my story of a boy growing up in the 40s during recessional times in Dublin-
you might enjoy the chapters from 16 to 21--thanks

Elisabeth - If it rains,

I don’t know how active you are on this site. But you should be. Your book is a rare gem and I feel so lucky to have come across it. I am so impressed with how you voice Stella’s truly unique way of looking at life. Here a few of my favorites.

“And isn’t that how it goes: we’re one big family as long as we’re trying to kill the same people.”

“With skin like over-fried meat.”

“He looked like a scorched green bean…”

“… made my stomach want to detach and walk the other way.”

“His black suit jacket fraying where his wrists met…”

You are incredibly gifted and your writing is some of the best I have read on Authonomy. Six stars and a promised backing.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Dear Elizabeth

This is a truly amazing story. Well written - not a single typo - engrossing and entirely convincing. The subject could so easily be the victim of maudlin sentiment. But you are a better writer and in your hands, this story moves along easily, quietly and poignantly. Well done. Six stars and on my WL.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

This is so beautifully told! What a wonderful treat to come across your work today! Your words have a soothing quality, which have completely captivated me. There is a richness, a depth, an authenticity to this piece that is rarely found. I love it! Highest stars and Watchlisted.

All the best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

Beautifully written. Very polished.

Excellent prose. I was captivated by the voice/style of the unfolding story. Comparisons to Earhart are cleverly done. 6 stars

Dee Farrell
Warrior Heart

The first paragraph was a wonderful attention grabber for me. The remainder of the first chapter has the ring of truth, I leave it with the sense of having heard a genuine writer's voice. At the time I am looking at this I am only seeing one chapter, however, and wondering how it could possibly be 10,000 words.

The first paragraph was a wonderful attention grabber for me. The remainder of the first chapter has the ring of truth, I leave it with the sense of having heard a genuine writer's voice.

it sounds interesting.

Don't know why this isn't higher in the rankings. Shelving, I'll comment when I've read some more.

Elizabeth,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

The first thing that jumps here is the style. Is a moment by moment perception where every moment is a dangling act promising the next to have the same urgency....

..... and that you deliver.

The jewel of the narrative however is the psychological map of your central character's. The ebbs and flows as she goes about reconciling the fate with the aspirations, the wishes with the pauses....

......and she does her grace shows.

The second jewel is the ability you have for what Nicanor Parra called;

....the anti-poetic moment.

that is, the image that does not elevate but flattens:

"hanging like a dead fish..."

"big eyes like a cow"

"as shy as a morning rooster.."

...in effect deflating the moment until all that is left is the sentiment that provoked it.


Some of my favorites:

"like sugar into tea"

"you have your father's cowlick"
I have never seen this which is why I liked for, If wanted to read about things I have already seen, I would take the subway...lol

"slipped from her legs......"
that's gorgeous phrasing

"hanging like a dead fish..."

This is superb writing

david

When I read the pitch for this book I thought it's either going to be wonderful or awful, but nothing in between.
It is beautiful. I'm not sure what else to say. It feels like something that's already published, and I want to read it in its entirety.
I have six-starred it, and will get it onto my shelf as soon as possible.

I am enjoying your book. Backing it and looking forward to reading more of it. I'll comment when I am finished.

An original and taut historical written with style. Great theme. Your characters have spark. Skillful use of imagery. Convincing dialogue. This story has it all. Tension. Fear. Loss. Love. Renewal. An impressive story arc. A very enjoyable read. Backed.

Elizabeth,
If It Rains has an original and enthralling plot. Stella is a compelling protagonist who is a good influence on the reader. I love the Biblical quotes throughout the narrative and would like to see more published books with them. Backed with enthusiasm.

This is a compelling story that captures the human side of someone searching for truth and honor. The father certainly did not have that as he did not honor his daughter. I applaud you with this very difficult theme.
-author of December Gold

Part 1 sets the tone for your novel perfectly and you do capture the essence of the time period very well. This is both a gritty and heartwarming story. Your epic novel is character rich, I really like how you develop Stella, your use of imagery is excellent and your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

This is a good story: a new take on Grapes of Wrath. It's harsh and heartbreaking in places but also extremely sensitive and a joy to read. Stella is a wonderful character; she's likable and sympathetic, the kind of character a reader wants to follow to see if her future can get to be better than her present. Makes this a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Backed January 18.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

Interesting story. I backed because looks like a good read. It is obvious that you have a knack for writing. Will you please look at my work and offer some constructive criticism? Lisa

I think this is brilliant, a great premise, good writing, excellent voice and dialogue, what more to say except backed with pleasure.
BADD

I must say, you asked me to read a bit more - or add more...
ok

Your descriptions of the miscarriage is succint.... a lot of writers labour the description, where you bite with your approach.... an approach i try to use, but perhaps not as successfully as you. As such, your prose flows better, fitting the atmophere you are trying to create. And here in lies your strength.... a snappy descriptive style allows drama to unfold.

Is this enough?

In truth, i have problems with christianity and i try to stay away from reads like it....
and mediumship books, and numerology, i won't even read.

Can you see now why i backed you?

Nice clear writing here, and a premise that said, yeh, have a look. Really glad i did, and think you should do well with this book. Any gramatical points aside (i actually don't notice them in my work, never mind yours), characters were well developed and the prose flowed. Deserved of being backed, so

BACKED

Hey: I'll put this on my shelf and hopefully read more at my leisure. Good luck with this, the pitch and your tags brought me in and I was not disappointed.

I would edit in the following: And finally, a (second/third trimester) pregnancy, (when you mention her belly was taut with a pregnancy). And then again, maybe not. Taut does say it all.

"She'd become so unnerved by her daughter's day-long labor (that), she'd started drinking....

You might let Lydie rest before she strolls through the house with the baby. After a long labor, she should be exhausted.

You should make it clear, through your punctuation, whether a person is speaking in their mind or speaking aloud, and any other method of communication should be punctuated consistently, so the reader needn't stumble.

Love Lydie's feelings for her daughter.

I love your writing. Chapter one, first paragraph: the comma in the second paragraph isn't needed. The next sentence, the second that.

I'd like to have this book in my hands, and hope to soon. Rachael.