Book Jacket

 

rank 5468
word count 13988
date submitted 28.08.2009
date updated 25.04.2010
genres: Fiction, Thriller
classification: moderate
incomplete

Fire & Ice

Phillip Dubov

The greatest unsolved art historical mystery of the 20th Century--the disappearance of the Amber Room in 1944--unravels for Austin restaurateur and art historian David Glenn.

 

When Nazi soldiers looted and burned the Catherine Palace in Russia in 1944, they took care not to destroy it's most treasured object: The Amber room.

The walls of this enormous ballroom were covered--floor to ceiling--in delicately carved amber panels inset with mirrors and oil paintings. Overnight, the Nazis dismantled, crated and shipped it to Konigsberg Castle.

On the eve of the Nazi defeat, the Allies destroyed Konigsberg Castle. When the rubble was cleared, no trace of the Amber Room remained. To this day it has not been found.

Sixty years later, a mysterious amber brooch and an even more mysterious Russian redhead suddenly draw Austin restaurateur and amateur art historian David Glenn into a dangerous and thrilling search for the lost treasure.

When his wife and daughters are kidnapped by the Russian mafia and his brother is murdered by Nazi thugs, the stakes get high and the rules change.

It becomes more than the greatest unsolved art historical mystery of the 20th Century. It becomes a game of life or death for Glenn and and his family.

 
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tags

amber room, art history, restaurants

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60 comments

 

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bluegirl09 wrote 683 days ago

Really great stuff; an engaging story that had me reading on and on! Great writing, and a great MC! I was hooked by the pitch. It flows really well, and it is easy to read. Really well written dialogue, and fantastic descriptions. The plot is really intriguing, and a lot of research has gone into it. The MC's history was nicely doled out too (I see Burgio mentioned that, and I really agree with it). Great work, I can see this getting published before it reaches the editor's shelf!
Good Luck!
Selena Hallahan - 'With Teeth'

Burgio wrote 756 days ago

This is a good story. You have a good main character in David. He's likable and certainly becomes sympathetic when he finds himself so deeply involved in this mystery. Your writing style is good for this type of story; you have a lot of background to reveal here for this to make sense and you do that well; never so much at one time it bogs down the story. Makes this a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Cully wrote 800 days ago

Good writing. Good dialogue. Good pace. I'll read more (only read chapter 1 and part of chapter 2), but it's clear you have put some time and effort into Fire & Ice and I enjoyed what I've read so far. Will return

JANVIER wrote 932 days ago

Hello Phillip,

A well observed premise and a masterful plot to make it a gripping story. Fine dilaogue and descriptions made the story outstanding. Rightly backed.

All the best.

Janvier (Flash of the Sun)

Daisy Anne Gree wrote 972 days ago


"...feeling the natural warmth of a million years between his fingers" -- so lovely.
The dialogue here is faultless! And not only that, but you switch between gritty, realistic dialogue and beautiful, lush phrasing in such an effortless fashion that it left me reeling. Great idea for a story, too. Shelved for sure.

lawdog wrote 979 days ago

You would do well to run a find and replace check for 'that' and 'had.' There's also several places where the same phrase, or variations of the same phrase, are used over and over again nearly back to back, such as 'at this time of night' and its cousins in ch 7.

Best of luck with it.

Andrew W. wrote 980 days ago

Fire and Ice

Hi Philip,

Great premise, really very intriguing, a genuine historical mystery woven together with a character whose family are in peril - a great kick off position for a thriller. The prologue is neat and well written, you describe enough to enable us to picture the scene and feel the terror, without over-burdening us with images. The dialogue in chapter one works well but I felt the lead in to the conversation, considering that this was the first chapter was a little laboured. Could we not start a little later, in the conversation proper where the intrigue and interest about the Amber Room really starts, I am sure Hyde is an important character but the details about the restaurant and Glenn's feelings about Hyde did not seem to be correctly placed at the front of this chapter where your main job is to grip the reader and not let them go. What I think you have are some great characters and a great premise and your writing is more than capable of delivering the plot, the key bit now will be showing us just enough parts of the story so it flows and cutting out the creative details that you abolutely need to work through as an author but in the final draft will hit the cutting room floor.

Excellent work, best wishes, deserves more attention this one and am backing it - best of luck

Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Venusu wrote 983 days ago

Great premise and an engaging mystery with gritty dialogue... right up my alley!
V
Hawaiian Orchid

paxie wrote 984 days ago

Philip
This is a tough nut to crack....Because at the very beginning you are clearly stating that the mystery remains unsolved.....Althought I appreciate that's not what you're here to do......

The subject of the Amber room has held enormous facination over the art world for over half a century, surprisingly not that much has been written......I enjoyed this very much.....i

I admire your digilgence and dedication in climbing what must have been a pyramid of reference and research documents to gather the necessary information to tackle this... I simply bash out whatever rubbish flies into my empty head....... Much easier..

Well crafted, a gem of a book......Shelved......

Suzanne Adams wrote 984 days ago

This is such an exciting project. The sheer magnificence of the Amber Room, it's mystery coupled to the desire for it to somehow to be safe and intact makes for a very seductive read. Add in a protagonist mix of Russian mafia and Nazi thugs it's a winning formula. Great premise and well worth the effort to hone and perfect because ultimately this has to be a winner.

Elaina wrote 985 days ago

Hi Philip

Read it all- you have a great mystery/thriller here indeed! As I read I could picture the movie unfolding. Fire and Ice could easily be adapted for the big screen and it would be well worth the ticket price! Have to tell you I was hungry after reading the initial chapters...

All the best
Elaina

ccpup wrote 986 days ago

Enjoying this very much. Small personal nit -- and by small, I mean really small and purely my opinion --: your opening line talks about the rare snowstorm and then you follow that with another mention of the "snow" with the plume of black smoke rising from the woods on the horizon. In reading that, I immediately pictured that plume of black set against all that white. Perhaps instead of using the word "snow" basically in back-to-back sentences, you could paint a picture like that, i.e. "a plume of black cutting through the swirling white" or "the heavily falling snow marred by a thick plume of black" or something. We, the Readers, know there's snow, so mentioning it twice feels a tiny bit repetitive.

But, hey, I said it was a small nit based on personal opinion. :^)

The italicized beginning of Chapter One felt a little clunky to me. Perhaps moving "detective's" to where "he bent over" is might help, like "The words hanging like icicles as the detective bent over to examine Glenn in the dim blue light of the freezer"? Just a thought.

You might also consider reworking the opening paragraph with Ramon, the cigarette and the emergence of Glenn. Opening with Glenn walking from his car to the restaurant and then noticing the soft explosion of light from Ramone's match as he lights his cigarette might read a little better.

These are all just thoughts I'm having as I read.

Ah, seeing a lot of "Glenn" here. Having established him as your current MC and the one having these thoughts about the environment and reactions to Hyde, etc, a simple "his" might be able to take the place of some of these "Glenn"s eg. "Glenn's circumspection" becoming "his circumspection", "... crossed Glenn's face ..." into "crossed his face", etc and so on.

Really good dialogue and Hyde's order made me hungry. :^)

Despite the suggestions I made above, the writing is polished and the story is intriguing. I'm more than happy to have this on my shelf.

Jonathan
MARTUK ... THE HOLY

Elaina wrote 986 days ago

Excellent pitch, great cover and fantastic prologue. Enough to know this I must shelve! But I'll be back to read more and offer a comment that isn't just here and gone...

Bob Steele wrote 987 days ago

Fire and Ice has a great pitch that draws me into a true life mystery that I recognise. The prologue is short and full of tension, and provides a great platform for your story. The narrative and dialogue are powerful, evoking characters and places well with good pace. This will do well, and has my backing.
A couple of points to think about. Your use of a short italic 'prologue' to the early chapters distracted me at first. I can buy one 'flash forward' that continues to C4, but then the flash back to prehistory in the intro for C5 &6 threw me again, and from C7 on the prologues disappear. If you must use this device, consistency is important, and one parallel story line only would be preferable. Second, your initial description of Hyde is powerful and sufficient - but I felt you overdid the gluttony, risking turning him into a caricature by saying essentially the same thing in several different ways.
Hope this helps - Good Luck

Krista Darrach wrote 987 days ago

Fire & Ice—
Phillip,

Thanks so much for reading Riley’s Gift – the support is much appreciated. I’m here to return the read….
This is really awesome – the prologue is so much different from Chapter one – but I like it. I took a few notes as I read, so take what you like and leave the rest.

“The Warden’s hand was shaking as [he] set the glass of tea he was holding on the windowsill. (your missing ‘he’).

I noticed some POV issues… it seems to me like you begin Ch 1 in Glenns’ pov… but then you slip into Hyde’s thoughts.

Sensing Glenn’s digust, Hyde offered…..

“Although he was not gifted….” Two sentences later you start with the same three words.

Watch out for ‘was’ – you seem to use it a lot.

Hyde smiled as he thought of Corinne --- you’re in Glenns pov… you don’t know what Hyde is thinking. :-)

Hyde could not contain a smile.

Hyde waited to see Glenns reaction…

There were quite a few more… I stopped listing them. If it’s your intention to be in 3rd Omniscient – then nevermind – but I think to stay in Glenn’s pov would be more beneficial. Hyde is such a great character – and you’ve developed him so well, we ‘get’ how he is – a lot just by Glenns reaction to him. I’d stay in Glenns pov. (my opinion)

You’re dialog is excellent. I really really liked it. I also loved the story and the tension.
It’s on my shelf. Good luck with it.
~Krista

Kenneth Rogers Jr. wrote 987 days ago

You have begun to create a great adventure. I really love the scope and detail of historical fiction and the amount of effort it takes to craft a tale that spans over a number of centuries. The Amber Room disappearance and the finding of the brooch is a good hook. Now that you have a beginning you just have to supply us with an end. Shelved until then.
Love and Fear: The Diary of Oliver Lee
Kenny

Ayrich wrote 987 days ago

I am a fan of thrillers. Particularly well written thrillers. SHelved.

Phil Rowan wrote 988 days ago

You have an enthralling pitch for Fire & Ice, Phillip. Glenn goes on a roller-coaster of an adventure and it's a perfect thriller. The missing Amber Room is a mystifying matter. I can remember first hearing about it when I briefly visited Catherine's Palace a few years back. The mystery is a great hook which you use brilliantly. I have a little more to read, but backed with pleasure and wishing you luck with publication. Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

andyroo wrote 989 days ago

Great combination of history, action and education. I could visualise this really well, and could very easily see it being a movie. As mentioned below, a few tweaks to the structure of the scenes and this will be pretty damn good.

Andrew

Rob Bassett wrote 989 days ago

This is exactly what the market wants. Great. I watched a documentary on the Amber Room last year. Backed
Rob Bassett :) Splinters

Paolito wrote 990 days ago

Fire & Ice...

This promises to be a fine story, very exciting, and even instructive...and readers do so love to learn while they're being entertained (hence, the popularity of Michael Crichton's books and the TV series, ER, plus Dan Brown's books.)

From reading your partial, I would say that you should really listen to the feedback you receive here and tweak your novel before it reaches the Editor's Desk. To help you tweak, read Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

You might also like to read Scene and Structure by Jack W. Bickham, especially the sections on scene sculpting. The reason why I'm suggesting it is that I sense you might be splitting your scenes in two to increase suspense (or perhaps just to make the scenes shorter due to all the screen reading on authonomy), but generally it's not a good idea because you lose sight of the arc of the scene....and so does the reader...so, in fact, it weakens the suspense rather than strengthens it.

I'd love to see your revised partial once you've read the books I'm recommending. You'll thank me for these recommendations. I hope.

Best of luck with this, Phillip.

Cheers,
Sheryl

Paolito wrote 990 days ago

Fire & Ice...

I think your prologue could be even more powerful if you eliminate the background at the beginning and the end, and weave parts of that background into the actual scene. Then, you can find other places in the novel to weave in the rest of the important background.

I can see why you chose to do it this way, because the disappearance of an entire room is certainly a great hook, but you could open with a scene from the POV of an unknown character or characters at the time that the room actually disappears. That might give you more opportunity to weave the background seamlessly into the scene.

I sure do love this hook, however.

Reading on...

Paolito wrote 990 days ago

Fire & Ice...

Commenting as I go along, starting with your pitches, but keep in mind that I’m severely pitch-challenged.

Your short pitch is sometimes called the elevator pitch because you’re supposed to imagine that you’re in an elevator with an agent and you only have one or two sentences to pitch your novel in such a way that the agent will ask for a partial. Not sure yours does that. I'd start with your protagonist and disclose more of the story, I think (do yourselve a favour and don't use my pitches as examples.)

Here’s the allegedly winning formula for the longer pitch:
1. Who is your protagonist?
2. What does he want? (I think you have a lot of set-up in the your pitch; they say we should give the agent someone to care about right at the beginning)
3. What obstacles does he encounter? (three specific ones is a good rule of thumb; you mention the kidnapping, but there are more turning points than that, so pick two more really important ones, I think)
4. a hint about the resolution

A really great site for unbiased feedback on your pitches is www.agentquery.com, where I’ve seen pitches go from blah to WOW (not mine, unfortunately…I think I needed to take a break from it, but I’ll be back there in September for more feedback.) They even have a thread for elevator pitches.

Reading on…

Sandie Newman wrote 990 days ago

This is so well written, I like your cover, title and pitch, which does offer a truly incredible story. The opening is full of action and also the horrors of war as troops arrive to burn down the palace. Very nicely done with excellent descriptions. Shelved with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

T.L Tyson wrote 990 days ago

Shoshanna sent me over to take a look. And WOW, I really really really (really really) liked this.
It looks as though some of the nit picks I found have already been mentioned. But I serisously think this is one of the better books I have read in DAYS!
BACKED!
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

KJKron wrote 990 days ago

Great stuff - first you set up a mystery. And then you pull two unlikely characters together. The contrast between Glenn and Hyde is brilliant. Not to mention that you show us how desperate Glenn is and he has good reason to hate Hyde. Of course Hyde has a proposal he can't refuse - although he's reluctant - obviously. And I couldn't notice the first line - Ramon struck a match. Are the being watched? He also didn't see the black car with the tinted windows...so there seems to be more going on here.

Haven't heard of the Amber Room - but you've made me curious. Well done. Shelved.

Urania wrote 990 days ago

This is great. I adore this kind of book and as I nearly called my own offering 'Of Ice and Fire' you have my total support! You capture the style, rhythm and suspense of this kind of thriller without any problem. Characterisations great, prose easy and a delight to read. I sincrelyhope you get this published soon. Shelved with pleasure.

Rayo Azul wrote 990 days ago

Excellent. Enjoying it enough to shelf whilst I read on.

Cheers

Rayo

beegirl wrote 990 days ago

This is a real page turner. I love the prologue. The hook at the beginning of chapter one is an original and intersting approach. Glenn makes a great MC. Well done all together.
Shelved,
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Ayrich wrote 990 days ago

oooo. Very cool. mystery and nazis and all teh elements of a fantastic tale. I would buy this. SHelved.

PeeJay wrote 991 days ago

Hi Philip,

I've never read any Dan Brown or James Rollins or any of the novels which examine the great mysteries and conspiracies of the past, but this is good stuff. Readable, well paced and plotted, and the relationship between Glenn and Hyde is shaping up nicely.

Okay, I went through the first couple of chapters, and here's a few things I'd like to point out:

You mention that it's late summer and late August in the same sentence: you may wish to trim one or the other.

"...in the iron stove in his small office in one corner of the castle, ." It's quite an ungainly run-on sentence. Perhaps "...put a lump of coal onto an already glowing stove, warming the small offive huddled in one corner of the castle." Also, remove the stray comma at the end of that sentence.

"...so bright was the light from the Palace set alight." it may be accidental, but the three rhyming words seem out of place in the prose. Consider revising.

Ch2, para4: You switch temporarily to the present tense.

Ch2, para9: In this paragraph, you have the words 'Hyde was' or 'He was' starting 4 of the 5 sentences here. You may want to mix up the sentence structure here, just to avoid repetition.

Ch2, para12: similarly, both sentences here start with 'Although he was...'

The POV in chapter 2 is a bit confusing at times: one moment it's Glenn's perspective, especially evident as we're offered his opinion and disgust with Hyde, but sometimes we switch to Hyde's POV and an all-seeing 'God' POV.

It may seem like I'm tearing into your work, but really these are simple technical things: I can't fault your premise or story, and all in all your writing ability is more than evident, and I thoroughly got into what I read. The best of luck with this: shelved with pleasure.

PeeJay (Tick)

Valentina wrote 991 days ago

One of the most polished pieces of writing i have seen on here for a long while. I was sucked into the story without being aware of an author! Only the characters. I love your description. Involving prologue that sets us up well for the story that follows. Best of luck!

Cas P wrote 991 days ago

Hi Phillip.
Just loved what I read of Fire and Ice. Superb prologue and smooth prose. Unlike some books on here, I was straight into yours without even thinking. The contrast between the prologue and ch 1 is marked and engrossing; the tense, acrimonious exchanges between Glen and Hyde make great reading. Your descriptions of Hyde eating were totally gross!
I love mystery tales like this, and Fire and Ice feels like it will be up there with the best.
On my shelf for sure.
Cas.
KING'S ENVOY

Onthedottedline wrote 991 days ago

This has all the ingredients of a first class mystery tale imbued with a real historical event (I've actually visited the reconstructed Amber Room in St Petersburg), so it will attract a huge readership, ranging from art-lovers, historians, iconographers, lovers of all things Russian, to anyone interested in a darn good tale. It's beautifully written, and I'm sure it will do very well. It gos straight onto my shelf. Best wishes, Tony.

jarubla wrote 991 days ago

Phillip,

Very compelling idea.

May want to look at the italicised comments, some of the stream of consciousness runs beyond the character's thoughts. A tad unclear.

"Shit. Still dark. What the hell am I doing up at this hour?" can safely be italicized, but the other part of it should not be (not his internal dialogue, right?).

Backed book. :)

-Jay

Greyghost wrote 992 days ago

Thanks, BJ, for the prompt and most helpful comments. I went in right away for (another) edit and think it's getting more polished with each round. I appreciate the help and especially the support.

Take care,

Phillip

B. J. Winters wrote 992 days ago

The prologue is very approachable - but I noticed that several of the paragraphs start with "In". Given there are so few, I'd switch that. Also you have a sentence "to shore up his alliances....then ally" --- you can prune one or the other.

I liked the pitch. I like the concept. On my shelf until I can read more.

Professor Iwik wrote 992 days ago

Hey,
The prologue, though short, is very well written and captures the reader's interest.
Your first chapter was just as good, you are a strong writer who knows what he is doing.
I didn't notice any nits. I'm happy to shelve this. Backed!

Regards,

Mark H

soutexmex wrote 992 days ago

First of all, I live here in Austin, so I was surprised to see that Jim's reference. I read four chapters and I was surprised this topic was covered again, as there is a bestseller of the same material out there.

I was looking more of the first chapter in the subsequent chapters. Don't get me wrong, the writing is solid and the concept spot on, but I was looking more of what drew me initially. Perhaps you do have more later that I have not covered so kudos to you if you do.

Actually, both of the pitches worked for me, so good going.

SHELVING this for the potential. I do look forward to your comments and possible backing of my bgook if you think it's good enough. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

Jane Alexander wrote 992 days ago

Saw your post on the forum and have to say I felt for you, I really did. I love the title and the cover of this book - and confess I was totally ignorant of this story. I've read the prologue and first couple of chapters and think you've got the makings of a goodie here. This kind of hunt yarn is incredibly popular right now - and you have a new slant which is rare and lovely.
Quibbles. Tenses wobble a bit....between past and present. Also quite a few typos - but those are easily fixed. I felt there was maybe a little too much dialogue in the first chapter (unusually) but that could have been the formatting which is a little hard on the eye.
However, overall I think you're onto a winner and I'm happy to shove you up on my shelf...... just bung up an extra chapter, for heaven;s sake (you can always repeat one at the end as a 'filler' with a note on it).... ;)
Jane

Greyghost wrote 993 days ago

Thanks to comments from readers on this site, I've managed to do some serious editing on Fire & Ice. I added a prologue and shortened some of the chapters to make it flow a bit faster. I've pared out advebs and hunted for cliches, cut out "ands" and "buts", eliminated commas and swapped showing for telling as much as possible.

The result is a better book, I think, but I open it to you, readers. From those who've already backed and commented, i'd be interested in learning whether I've improved it or just messed it up. If you'd give it another lookI'd be most grateful.

In making the revisions, I allowed the word count to drop below the minimum, so it disappeared from about a dozen bookshelves and even more watchlists, alas. I realize that reshelving it doesn't improve the ranking, but honestly I am more interested in improving the work than moving up in the ranks. I just want those who backed it already to know why it suddenly vanished!

From those reading for the first time I'd sure appreciate comments, even especially critical, as my goal is to improve this and my writing in general.

Again, thanks to the many folks who've been so helpful and encouraging. I will be spending a lot of time here, it seems, for there are many books I hope to read and comment on as a way of passing the thanks forward, so to speak.

LittleDevil wrote 993 days ago

There are many genres that I haven't been keen on in the past, but what I've learned since being on this site, it's probably the writing that I haven't been keen on.

You deliver this in such a way that I couldn't fail to be engrossed. Your dialogue is excellent and characters developed and real.

This is well worth a spin on my shelf.
Best wishes
Sue (A Boy Called George)

Michael Croucher wrote 993 days ago

Hi Phillip, I liked this from the start; it's my kind of read and you set the hook firmly and quickly. The characters and the dialogue are extremely well crafted and the plot is compelling. Seems to me, it's all there and your book should do well. Shelved.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Carrots wrote 993 days ago

Boy, this story really hits. What an talent for fast, drole dialogue. And the facts about the Amber Room slipped in to add extra meat. Characters, and what characteres, established seemingly effortlessly. Masterly. Backed.
PS I'm still down a few grand on a 'gearless' transmission..but it will happen...definitely, really, honestly.

mikegilli wrote 994 days ago

Yes the story is as good as the pitch <
This really moves along and the characters come to life.
Good thriller technique keeps us interested.
No typos found
Lots of luck with it.......Mikey The Free

klouholmes wrote 994 days ago

Hi Phillip, Well-constructed and you bring in your characters with immediate conflict so that the intrigue is going the whole time. I enjoyed Glenn’s disgruntlement with Hyde’s attempts at getting hold of rarities. Corinne and then Germach’s threats heightened the emotional tone. This has a pace that makes the reading pleasurable and the dialogue is natural but select for the story. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Agamemnon wrote 994 days ago

That is one seriously brilliant cover - so glad you've uploaded it! Best, Grant

Simon Swift wrote 995 days ago

Fascinating stuff Phillip! I really love a good hard-boiled thriller (if you choose the read BLACK SHADOWS u will see what I mean)! And this is bloody good! Gonna back it and come back later for my pleasure!
Simon

JohnRL1029 wrote 995 days ago

This is a fast-paced hard-boiled thriller. Love the greasy spoon diner and the opening dialogue."why you ain't strung up on a meat hook like your friend here." HA. Love it. Every good thriller needs a greasy spoon. WL>

hot lips wrote 995 days ago

I thought this was great, very entertaining, an excellent premise and realistic well written dialogue. Backed
BADD

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