A Passing Storm

Employing the quality of writing signatured in her first Authonomy offering - A Passing Storm - Phyllis Burton delivers "Everything it says on the tin!" As the lid comes off, an attractive surface synopsis is revealed. Soon, she stirs the contents: what a mix! Displaced memories, distortions of time and place, gripping disturbed relationships. Powerful emotions swirl and develop while misplaced passions are stirred. Loosened attachments, acute pain of separation, a sense of aching loss abound in variations of tone. Hope for reconciliation is prefigured. Strong, confident characterisation with subtle shades of foreground, background and perspective are added in. All these ingredients blending to picture a possible reconciliation. Truly a painting with words. An attractive story line engages the reader's interest and curiosity and the author's smooth touch and gentle strokes leads on to layer upon layer of emotions applied with assured command and control. Questions about love and fidelity are posed and spread over a literary canvas. Everything comes - like music - to a sweet and gentle close. Simply great value on all levels and worthy of all six stars. Attention! HC commissioning editors. Don't make the mistake of letting this one slip under your radar. Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

A PASSING STORM
I love the setting - I always admire and enjoy stories set in different places. Phyllis, this is a really great book. Your first opening chapter is wonderful. You usage of description and words is very talented and stands out clearly. Your descriptive passages and phrases are well thought, and you give us plenty of vivid images to deal with.
This has an intriguing story line and is a definate a pageturner. I have now read three chapters and may well come back for more.
Already backed with pleasure.
Faith
The Assassins Village

Poetry in motion - that is how I would describe your work. Beautifully crafted and in such a gentle manner. This is what I felt after reading the first chapter. Your writing style is superb. I intend coming back for more when I am not so tired. You have a natural skill, but I also felt your femininity coming through - something I haven't felt from other women's books. I haven't read the other chapters yet, so I am just giving you my first impressions. Your pitch is great, and that alone would grab my attention enough to buy your book.

A Passing Storm is beautifully written - flawless - the strong imagery the result of painstaking attention to detail, the characters carefully defined. The reader can feel Jennifer’s confusion then her anger, a deceitful Peter acting true to form. The plot is skillfully crafted and compels the reader to keep turning the virtual pages. I’ve just opened chapter 3 but thought to leave these comments behind before adding this wonderful novel to my shelf. If it does not find a publisher there is no justice.

A beautifully crafted story which leads the reader from the accident to why Jennifer was running away once she regained her memory. It's a poetic work of fiction, the story settings drawn with remarkable skill, well-described and detailed, yet a realistic and believable story. Both shelved and Today's Pick I Like for 2/14/10: http://newandgoodreading.blogspot.com/2010/02/todays-pick-i-like-21410.html

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Yes, this has promise. Some of the hospital bit; waking up and feeling numb, disorientated, tended toward cliche. But you pulled it back towards the end of chapter 2 and I was looking forward to continuing.

I have starred it. Good luck with this.

Millie C

Crown of Thorns

Your title fits the story well. The first bit with her injury drew me right in, the confusion and then the memory returning of a failed marriage. Beautifully written. Only able to read through chapter 4, but looking forward to returning soon.

Hi Phyllis,

If this book is not published in this year then there is no justice. It really appealed strongly to me and it's not even my genre I'm BACKING and STARRING your book and you have my best wishes. I would appreciate you giving my book 'The Contractor' your support.

Frank James.

Employing the quality of writing signatured in her first Authonomy offering - A Passing Storm - Phyllis Burton delivers "Everything it says on the tin!" As the lid comes off, an attractive surface synopsis is revealed. Soon, she stirs the contents: what a mix! Displaced memories, distortions of time and place, gripping disturbed relationships. Powerful emotions swirl and develop while misplaced passions are stirred. Loosened attachments, acute pain of separation, a sense of aching loss abound in variations of tone. Hope for reconciliation is prefigured. Strong, confident characterisation with subtle shades of foreground, background and perspective are added in. All these ingredients blending to picture a possible reconciliation. Truly a painting with words. An attractive story line engages the reader's interest and curiosity and the author's smooth touch and gentle strokes leads on to layer upon layer of emotions applied with assured command and control. Questions about love and fidelity are posed and spread over a literary canvas. Everything comes - like music - to a sweet and gentle close. Simply great value on all levels and worthy of all six stars. Attention! HC commissioning editors. Don't make the mistake of letting this one slip under your radar. Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

This is a wild, heart-felt start to a promising novel. Jennifer is interesting and identifiable and her thoughts give good insight into her character. I want to know more. The plot line around amnesia immediately sets up a thousand possibilities and make the reader pay close attention to how Jennifer and the people around her react.

I think it's realistic enough for such a heavy topic. Amnesia is always difficult to portray, especially because the 'total' form is so rare. Always ask yourself the question: what would I say if I were the one who forgot my name? Would I be aware of that fact, and how would I respond? Ashamed, frightened, maybe even afraid to say it. A little fine-tuning the dialogue and this story could be amazing.

Joel Juedes- Purple Eyes

Reading through. Looking good.

Phyllis, I've only had time to read the first couple of chapters, but I like the writing. I see so many really good stories mangled by poor writing that it's a pleasure to some top notch stuff!

This sounds so interesting. I've put this on my watchlist and will add it to my bookshelf when space opens up. I'm going through and reading everything so please forgive me if I'm slow. The reference to the dingo dog made me smile. Peter could quite possibly have a place in my book, How to Spot a Psycho : )

Hi Phyllis,
Your other book was locked for editing when I gave it a try. So I popped in here. Your writing is very clean as it leads us along. I like the way you end your chapters (first few is all I could fit in today). Nice premise. Jennifer is a good sympathetic character. Starred (highly) for now. I hope to try your other book tomorrow. Thank you for your support of Walk to Paradise Garden. Much appreciated.
Sincerely,
JBC

Your pitch and profile are very good so I wish you luck and hope that you can have a look at my books - thanks !

I only had time for two chapters tonight. The story is intriguing and believable. Dialogie is real. You have managed to grasp the reader's interest in the first chapter with hints of Jennifer's past and other hints of things/people to come. I am backing based on this small sample. The best of luck to you.

Patricia West Hays
The Witness Tree

If you have any time at all, I would appreciate your taking a brief look at my book. Thanks.

The author has a gift for description and the setting of a seen and brings the reader into the action immediately, establishing a time, place, plot and interest in the characters."Willing butterfly" is a lovely vision. So far, it moves well and dialogue achieves its purpose. Just some little things: first chapter, toward the end, not sure last phase is necessary - "As if they had never been." And some thoughts on punctuation: what is happening to me, she asked herself? where am I, she wondered? I have seen these types of things written as: What is happening to me?she asked. Also, I would omit "Realization dawned." not necessary, since the room description brings the reader to that conclusion. Nice build up of intrigue in Chapter 2 and immediate apprehension about husband's secret.

HI Phyllis Your writing is clean and easy to read. You end your chapters well; raising the curiosity of the reader so they will want to keep reading. Good luck. Backed!

Southern Girl
The Feydom of Sencala

This is a real comfy read I have read three chapters and am easily and happily hooked. But first I must comment on your long pitch I thought it expertly written all of the impact and intrigue is woven in nicely. I would love t read on and find out what happened to make her run away will she be strong enough to give him the slip. Nice cover on a highly commercial read

Amelia x

A Date in the Diary – I do hope you enjoy it

A very interesting and intriguing start. Your description of Jennifer coming to with amnesia was great, I could really feel her frustration and confusion. I also love the way that you are right into the story, I think it was a really good place to start. Its like we're finding out about her as she is remembering. A very enjoyable read.

Best of luck
Rachael
Dreamscape

Phyllis, nice tale and carefully crafted. Did like the dingo bit but somehow wanted a bit more from the epiphany as it were - perhaps I built it up too much from my reading of the pitch.

A couple of picky points. Did you really want to say thoughts marching through her mind like an army or whatever it was in chapter one I think. i didn't note it at the time but it stuck in there all the way through. Also in Chapter 31, you referred to sex. more sex and food when referring to the dingo ... use of the word latter in this context is grammatically incorrect , i think

Loved the tale , sorry about the picky but it helps to sharpen. Hope you appreciate.

best wishes

David
The Collector of Tales

Phyllis A Passing Storm, is an excellent read. A thoroughly interesting story line,a great romance that threads through an intense story and well put together characters. Your descriptions are very vivid and very detailed... Jennifer's confusion as she slowly regained full consciousness was so vividly portrayed and you made it seem so real, perhaps something that you've experienced yourself. You can't help but fall in love with Jennifer you've made her out to be a great character, I love the strength you've given her. Great writing and wonderful story.
njoyed
*moods and expressions*

It was the dingo in the pitch that hooked me so I need to refrain from chapter 31 as a starting point. backed on the dingo and will read and re vert with coments when i have more time

regards

David
The Collector of Tales

Dear Phyliss Burton,

With the title A Passing Storm, I had a feeling that all will be well in the end. I couldn't resist and flipped around and looked at the ending and now I know. Nice work and good for Jennifer.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

This is such an enjoyable read! I had a feeling I'd really like it from your enticing pitch, and I was right! This is just my type of novel; 'normal' but interesting characters, exciting plot and lots of tension! The style makes for a smooth read and your description is vivid. I've only read 3 chapters so far, but it's going on my shelf and I look forward to continuing my reading!
The only suggestion I have is that Jennifer asks herself quite a lot of questions and, maybe sometimes instead of them being voiced in the third person, some could be shown as direct thoughts in italics. This would bring us closer to her. Then again, this might be personal preference as I have used this technique frequently in my own work!

A PASSING STORM
I love the setting - I always admire and enjoy stories set in different places. Phyllis, this is a really great book. Your first opening chapter is wonderful. You usage of description and words is very talented and stands out clearly. Your descriptive passages and phrases are well thought, and you give us plenty of vivid images to deal with.
This has an intriguing story line and is a definate a pageturner. I have now read three chapters and may well come back for more.
Already backed with pleasure.
Faith
The Assassins Village

We have a connection: my book is set in remote outback Australia, but anyway back to the business of this critique...
Modern english is dropping "that", for example "someone was telling her (that) everything would be fine." and "She was like a willing butterfly (that was) trapped..." Notice how deleting the "that" and "that was" does not change the meaning.
A lovely gentle warm start considering the predicament the protagonist is actually in and what she has just endured!
There is something wrong with my account set up which means I have never been able to move a book onto by shelf, but if I could I would.

I have only read the first two chapters so far but am already hooked. The clear, concise way your writing draws the reader into Jennifer's tortured mind leaves them needing to know how her troubles will resolve themselves - or evn if they will. Angus is intriguing and I'm sure will have a lot to do with the conclusion of the story. Peter, handsome and manipulative, hopefully will get his come-upance. I love this book and so am backing it with pleasure.

Narrative description faultless. I have read four chapters, all of which are fully charged with emotion. The conflict between your characters kept me in there like a fly on the wall! Some work is a pleasure to read - yours is one.

Poetry in motion - that is how I would describe your work. Beautifully crafted and in such a gentle manner. This is what I felt after reading the first chapter. Your writing style is superb. I intend coming back for more when I am not so tired. You have a natural skill, but I also felt your femininity coming through - something I haven't felt from other women's books. I haven't read the other chapters yet, so I am just giving you my first impressions. Your pitch is great, and that alone would grab my attention enough to buy your book.

Beautiful and extremely well written. You really should do very well with this. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

I have only had time to read the pitch but found it so intriguing that I have backed it now and will read it later. It seems like my kind of story and I look forward to enjoying it.
Rosemary (Ziggy Chalan)
RIDING HIGH

Dear Phyllis,
Your writing skills are amazing, your story is beautifully written, loved your pitch and title, had I seen this one in a bookstore, I definitely would have purchased it from the synopsis alone.
Best of luck with your story, I wish you much success.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Very well written. You’ve got a strong voice and a talent to show.
The only thing I could mention is the extra narrative part in the beginning. Try maybe some internal dialogue, it would move the story forward.
When you’re using dialogue is crisp and effective. Great job.
You’ve got my vote.

Dear Phyllis, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your book, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end tells of my illness now & 6th abusive marriage. I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
authonomy quotes: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy

Dear Phyllis, I love the intrigue of your heroine's romance & her choices she has to make. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

The story hooked me right away, I liked the pace and easily got involved. Backed with pleasure, E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

The writing is as close to poetry as a novelist can come without seeming pompous. The subject matter isn't my cup of tea, but there is no knocking the author's skill. I strongly recommend this work to literary fiction enthusiasts.

Hi, Phyllis,
This is very well-written, and a pleasure to read. You do a wonderful job of showing Jennifer's confusion in the first chapter. I did notice that there were a few instances of question marks put after things that weren't questions, for instance, when you say, 'she wondered?' I'd start that sentence with: She wondered, then put her thoughts in italics after, ending with the question mark. A minor thing, really. Overall, I found this book to be excellent.
Best of luck to you!
-Libby

Hi Phyllis,
I forget (; 0) if I have written you about how much I enjoyed the first three chapters.
Thanks for looking at Going Out of Style and backing it.
A zoomer

Hi Phyllis,
I have put you on my watchlist. Will you take a look at Going Out In Style?
A zoomer.

This is well written and flows well. I love an easy read. Backed.
Just a little thing I noticed: What is happening to me, she asked herself? should the ? not come after me?

Well done
Abi

Yes, Phyllis, always good to kick off with a mystery, this is intriguing and pulls you straight in. I've read the first three chapters, and enjoyed doing so; the writing is excellent and deserves to be backed.
Good luck with it,
Rob

You have a superb command of the English Language and your smooth writing style quickly takes you deep into the book. Jennifer's inner angst is masterfully crafted and your use of imagery is well done. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

This book drew me in in the first chapter - a wonderful evocation of returning to life after an accident. I wish I had time to read more!

All I can say is Peter is a jerk. As many others have written, this is a moving story. Having been married 26 years, I can relate to the characters and the problems a relationship can face at that stage. I'm glad that Jennifer "was ready and willing to take the biggest gamble of her life." When I get some time, I want to see how it turns out. Thanks for uploading the complete text. Shelved with pleasure.

Phyllis, i love your premise and enjoyed the pace of discovery. Meeting handsome Peter is a wonderful hook and his impatience adds an intriguing sense of urgency - quite omimnous. i did find fluidity a bit bumpy and hope you consider revising your 'had been' (s) for 'was'. Best wishes for publishing success, Monique Grbec (The Male Influence)

Thanks. And I've read yours; 1 and 31. And yes, when you see the open plains . . . one would want to go back right away. There is a real story line here, it's worth backing.

Those lines:
"But what about Jennifer?"
"What about her?"
Excellent entry in the romance/suspense category. Dinner at the Owl and a bit of injudicious sex with the old girl just to make sure she isn't on to him.
Backed. Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Excellent premise. I can see from your prologue you have a way with words and write with emotional impact. You mght want to give it a once over for formatting problems, such as punctuation, capitalization, and spacing.
Will back this on my next shelf rotation.
xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

Your prologue, so soft and velveteen, juxtaposes perfectly with the jarring confusion of the next chapter. You are clearly very skillful with your choice of words. Wonderful.

Abi xxx
“Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules were made to be broken." - Relic

This is excellent! Definitely outside of my genre, but a good story always wins me over in the end. Great job with description, plot, and character. I'm totally rooting for Jennifer. You thrust me into the action and intrigue throughout the first chapters. Thanks for the back and this well worth it too!
Christian Rogue (Wings of the Heart)

A well done opening. It captures a great deal of the fear, panic and paranoia that I would imagine accompanying amnesia.

I really like the description of the man's blue eyes - and her thought of diving into them like pools - really nice line.

I've never had amnesia, but one thought that occurred to me as I read through the opening - I would imagine that the first thing she would do, before looking around the room and taking inventory of the things around her - would be to check herself for any injuries. It may add a little drama/tension to the scene, but just my own 2 cents.

A very thought provoking story with a beautiful setting. A story of relationships and the pursuit of happiness, but at what cost? The mountains of Scotland give added strength and enhance the lead characters spiritual and emotional dilemma.

Regards, Chris Williams – The Stories of Rhys
www.thestoriesofrhys.com