Book Jacket

 

rank 5320
word count 54558
date submitted 08.09.2009
date updated 14.09.2009
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Young Adu...
classification: universal
incomplete

There You Will Feel Free

Jamie Anderson

Two kidnapped teenagers struggle to find their place in a future world of empty landscapes and threatened war. Speculative fiction for young adults.

 

Kidnapped in full daylight and taken to a fortress hidden in distant and deserted mountains, eleven year old Zabe and Ash struggle to understand why they were taken and what happened to the families they left behind. Over the course of eight years, their kidnappers train them to be soldiers and strategists, constantly warning them of the global war that awaits beyond their protected valley.

Released into the wider world at age nineteen, Zabe and Ash confirm what they have suspected for years: that the world is a far more complex place than their kidnappers taught. However, as time goes by, it becomes clear that it is also a more dangerous place than they ever could have guessed...

When their kidnappers return for them, Zabe and Ash must make a choice between obedience to the people who raised them and freedom.

 
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tags

coming of age, dystopia, fiction, future, island, mountain, outdoor, science fiction, speculative, survival, young adult

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Chapters

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These are the first things she remembers

    These are the first things she remembers:

    The creak of the gate by the empty pool.

    The silence of the cicadas and bats.

    A single thin beam of light cutting through the gloom of the dirty apartment.

    The unfamiliar sound of her full name.

    Then things begin to happen quickly: there is a woman and a man, all dressed in black, coming towards her.  She runs past them, all the way into the tiny bedroom, and goes for the window.  She would have gone out it, too, except she remembers the envelope under the bed and has to turn back to the dresser to grab it.  She has it stuffed into one of her pockets and one leg out the window when the man bursts into the room.  She hesitates at the fall – a good ten feet – and the man catches her other leg and wrenches her away from the sill.  Her leg hurting, she makes a scramble for the other window, but the woman is suddenly there, in her path, and she knows that any further struggle will just result in pain.  She collapses to the floor and curls into a ball, so that the man literally has to lift her in his arms and carry her out of the apartment.  She has no idea what is happening and she is terrified.

    They exit into the sudden glare of a searchlight coming from the sky.  She thinks that she is dead, that Father Gabriel is right about the endtimes, and that she is being lifted bodily towards heaven, but the searchlight materializes into a powerful beam extended below a dark body in the sky.  A helicopter.  Her terror, though it seems impossible, increases. 

As the helicopter lowers itself into the empty pool, the noise is immense; she tries to put her hands over her ears but the man holds her tight and she thinks she will go deaf

    He hands her over to someone waiting in the helicopter, and he and the woman climb in after her, and someone else straps her into a seat with her arms clipped behind her back.  Her stomach lurches violently and she looks out of the open door and sees the concrete corpse of the pool falling away.  Further height, and a wider view: all of the apartments, the burned out and abandoned western end gray under the beam of light.  The helicopter spins up into the night, and right before they shut off the light she sees the broken asphalt rising up tectonically on the old road through the desert.  It stretches away towards the Rock Knowledge, and beyond only the Desert Lore…

    Then everything goes dark until dawn, some hours later, and she sees that they are flying due east.

The process begins right then, in the glare of the rising sun: she takes her own past and locks it away, deep inside of her.     

She knows that there are things that happened before this night, and that they might even be real, but in her mind they hold a mythical quality: they belong to a different age, an age of legends.  When she recalls her personal genesis, she can see how these myths have inspired the culture of her mind, but they have no bearing on her present location.

By default, then, these are the first things she remembers:

Confusion.

Fear.

Pain.

Chaos.

The end of everything.

Chapters

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klouholmes wrote 869 days ago

Hi Jamie, I liked your opening with its images and the detail about the helicopter. Between Zabe and Ash, you handled the emotional levels well. I became quite engrossed in the story as you gave the info steadily and could retain my concentration. I wondered about Zabe’s speech for a six-year-old and then about her dress. But these were explained and the whole scenario of the civilizations being advanced according to climate would made this futurist school entrancing. I think young readers would be absorbed too but I wondered at the ages being eleven to start - I would have thought a few years older. The writing has good texture, flashbacks, and POVs. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Steve Ward wrote 877 days ago

Jamie,
Wow, great opening chapters cloaked in mystery. Love the young YA writer's voice and many great metaphors: concrete corpse of the pool probed the ground with fly's feet This is so well written and edited, immaculate. You do a good job of keeping the reader guessing and turning pages and you tell the story in very natural dialogue between Zabe and Ash. Well done. Fun read, good luck with it.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

mikegilli wrote 881 days ago

shelved. Great story, Ash, Zabe and Orri are superb.
The idea is fantastic and has lots of irony and possible hidden meanings..
Plus the suspense keeps mounting..... Nice nature detail..
Ch 9..The Greenhouse is brilliant, Zabe's confusion is really well done.
Ch 1 also..an excellent hook..
Sorry no criticisms. There are typos. (In Ch 9 anemic pre dawn, should be anaemic I think. Further down ...crumled ruins..)
Lots of fun with this. I'm happy to be the first reviewer of many.....Mikey (The Free)

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