Scarfy in the Middle

Your pitch caught my attention. I read the first chapter and I don't have the time this morning to read further. It's a very good plot and the dialog is great. It could use a little polishing, but that's what we are all here to do. Lots of Luck.

Jennie Lyne Hiott
If you get a chance, could you take a look at Hearts and Lies?

Read just the first chapter and loved it. Am putting on my wait list to shelf tomorrow. Will come back and read and give more comments when I have time later.

Thanks for sharing! 5*****

Has another week gone by? Well, the weekend is upon us. What a great time to grab a cup of ice tea, comfy chair, and help us noobies get noticed by reading our work. If you are interested in this, please pick a book and let me know what you think. I would appreciate all comments and help . . . blessings, Pam

Just realised that I'd already read and backed this excellent book and I can't understand why it is not rising higher.

Hi Lily, Lively dialogue and I like the way the hectic roommate situation inspires the scripts. The pace is good and you've peopled your story with some diverse characters. The idea that your protagonist was shielding Jess from her male problems set up more plot potential. And it seems you have your scriptwriter personality down. A few things: Numbers like "6 months in each city" - where a number begins a sentence, it should be spelled out. And then, the commas are missing at the end of dialogue in quotes. I wondered what the jingle was that she thought up. And how Adam came to be part Cuban and part Iraqui. This has the spiritedness for its subject. Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Lily

I liked this. I love your first person narrative - the voice is genuine and the dialogue believable. I have read the first chapter and I will be shelving based on this, however I will be reading on. There are some missed punctuation marks (I am starting to spot them now as my book had some in too!) however you have the main things going for you, voice, great characters and realistic dialogue. Good luck with it.

Best Wishes

Anna
'Always the Bridesmaid'

This is an excellent story, I love the opening, very well done with a heap of sarcasm. Your writing is brilliant and enjoyed every word I read. shelved with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Hi Lily!

This is very well written... Your characters are well drawn out and believable and the dialogue between them is natural. It's not easy to write dialogue as people truly talk, but I think you've done it well - it's not forced or fake. Good job. On my shelf!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Hi Lily,

This is a brilliant read. I’ve read three chapters and found it a joy to read. The narrative voice felt authentic and the writing style was smooth and easy to read. Loved the subtle humour.

“Could be a medical… Bipolar Disorder(,)” I suggested. I noticed that there are other places missing punctuation at the end of dialogue. Have a run through and you’ll spot them.

Good sentence structure, good pacing and your characters felt real. The dialogue was also spot on. This has great potentials. It’s written well, but a good edit will make it even better.

Shelved!

Shinzy :)

Very witty and fun. Great MC giving a quirky interesting take on life.
Shelved
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Oh this is excellent Lily.
I love the voice. So often a book labelled comedy leaves me thinking 'Doh, this is so not funny!' This is just what I need right now to cheer me up. Dialogue, narrative, all of it, totally brilliant. I want it in a book to read whenever I feel like smiling.
So Shelved.
Good luck and best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George. ( I hope you'll get a chance to take a look)

Lily,

Thought I'd be the first to comment on Scarfy In The Middle. The genres in which you've classified this novel intrigued me. I don't recall ever reading a pitch written in the first person. Pretty creative.

After skimming the first three chapters, I like this enough to place it on my shelf.

Rodney