The Warlord

Hi Duncan.
I'm not sure if you'll read this because you've been offline for a long time. but here goes.
I'm not an expert in sci-fi but I have read the basic rules of how to write it because my book is fantasy verged upon sci fi itself.
You are a natural writer with a great imagination. I can see you love to write and that is probably why you haven't been on the site for a long time.
You have an interesting story which has been comfortably written and therefore comfortably read.
I have a bit of advice which was given to me by those 'who knew much more about this genre'.With sci fi or fantasy - so I was told, something like an alien encounter or a life threatening experience should happen within the first chapter, and preferably the chapter should end with a cliff hanger.
I don't know if all this is necessary myself, but it sounds good advice if it suits your book.. I suppose it makes the reader want to read more.
Personally I think your book needs a little more action.
But other than that your book is a good read and well written. I give you 5 stars.
Junetee(Four Corners)

You have a good idea here and I can see the fury of activity in the writing. You may want to get rid of the saids, answered, and replied's when your characters are talking. It distracts from the writing and it can be implied that is what they are doing. For example, if a character asks a question and you write asked afterward you effectively are repeating. A little tightening up and you can have a published book on your hands.

M A Koning
Tale of the Seven Stones

Heh, this looks like you had fun writing it. It's on my WL till I decide whether or not to shelve it.