Children of Paradise

I love the way in which you weave stories about the past and present here. Sorry - not weave stories, but share your story. And I admire the honesty, how you have 'made friends' with some of the traumatic events that you relay. I like the fact that this is not a chronology of your life, but how your work and your life coexist and what I am sure will go on to tell us how your experiences have impacted on and helped the lives of the many people you have worked with. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Kendall Craig, The Halo (of Delight)

Hi Julia!

You don't see a whole lot of non-fiction around here, so it's always interesting to stumble across a good piece - your book definitely qualifies as that. It's an intriguing glimpse into a world that many of us don't get a chance to see, and through the trained eyes of a therapist. Brave subject to tackle as an author, and you pull it off well. Great job - on my shelf!

Kim
Invisible Justice

I would back this book but according to the author's page the Julia has not been online for a year. Too bad, this was an interesting read. Hope the author, Julia, returns. If you do, Julia, give me a shout.

FEL

CHILDREN OF PARADISE by Julia Kamani

Julia - Paradise Lost, Paradise Regained but here alas, Paradise Postponed. Over 12 crisp succinct Chapters the reader learns of a beautiful South Sea setting and a people, spoilt by the hedonistic free-love influences of Western origin and its subsequent contaminating culture; while marveling at the techniques employed to assist the emotionally damaged children and adolescents. Your dedication in recovering vulnerable victims of parental failure through your applied psychological expertise, is both inspirational and instructive. There is no cure nor dogma church based - church biased outreach purveyed but healing through love and the direct knowledge of your personal experience as a child in this once idyllic settings. If Hope is nothing more than Despair deferred you push beyong cynicism and demonstrate through moving examples of studied child behaviour that astonishing results can be obtained and clear direction for their future management charted. This is essential reading for anyone studying child care - not just in Hawai - but in any part of the world. I believe the book will attract the general reader in the bookstores, for its compelling combination of your practical insights and personal heroism. Backed.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

Hi there. I'm a writer for the Honolulu Weekly and was wondering if you would be available for a few questions regarding our "Summer Books" issue coming out in a couple weeks. I'm highlighting authors who live in Hawaii, write about Hawaii and who've been involved with Authonomy.

If interested, would you mind emailing me at
ringlergrace(at)aol.com

Thank you for your time,
Shantel Grace

Julia, I enjoyed your first chapter. The opening line comparison to amniotic fluid is a winner. I'd slightly modify that opening line to read: Nothing feels quite as fine as swimming naked in the Pacific...

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

BACKED

I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work.

Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters.

So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk.


There you are.

BACKED
Hope you reciprocate.

This is very moving stuf.

Elegantly written and poignant.

Compared to other 'journals' I have read this is very gentle but about reall issues.

I don't envy your childhood, but there again who doesn't have the odd skeleton in the closet?

Shelved.

Wow Julia, powerful stories, beautifully written - shelved

What can I say? I can't crit this, your writing is excellent and these children touch the heart and the soul

I hope this does well

John Booth (Shaddowdon)(

There are some troubling stories here. I'm not a fan of reading true accounts like this, but I respect you for what you are trying to do. Backed.

Hi Julia, I have read all 12 chapters without stopping. Interesting and especially the first with you growing up in the hippy culture. In fact that would make a good book in itself! Also I am reminded of Torey Hayden.

Backed already.

Best wishes,
Agneta

I think my MC could use a therapist like you.
As a teacher who works with delinquent youth, a lot of these stories sound familiar in that way I'm sure you understand.
Good luck.
Neliza Drew

Julia
Don' t think I've ever read a book like this.
You have achieved something quite remarkable here.
Good luck with Harper True.
Shelved with my best wishes
David
Green Ore

Julia, I was about to comment on this last night, then had a power cut for over an hour, and that in a way gave me time to think about your writing. I'm a non-fiction person trying to do fiction at the moment, and I thought your dedication and devotion to both your work and the people you work with. This is exceptional, and I truly hope you do well with this inspirational and moving book. Backed, no problem Sarah (A Midsummer Night's Secret)

This is lovely, Julia. That first chapter is a good setup with a wonderful arc, telling your own story and then learning to heal yourself and help others. I read the next few chapters and it's very poignant and touching.

I was wondering who you had in mind when you wrote this - a general audience or kids or parents or aspiring professionals or all the above? And what your goals were with this in general. With your background and sensitivity and writing skills, it seems like you could write a variety of things on such topics for different audiences.

These make for interesting short stories in three classic parts - we're introduced to the child and his/her challenge, then we see how you interact with the child, then after the child is gone we get your diagnosis in the case notes and some dialogue that expounds on it.

I guess my main comment would be that after being introduced to the child, and being intrigued by how you interact with him/her, I really want to know how you will interpret the session and follow up, and what will happen next. Probably because in a very short space of time you have me invested. The case notes are brief, so it's very good how you work in conversation afterwards to explain it a little more. In Chapter 4, once the boy left you told the intern he'd be fine and gave her a brief interpretation of what he just did, which was good to help me get closure on him. But with the girl with the amazing voice who wanted to be on American Idol, you wrote that she had a snowball's chance in hell of making it, and I was disappointed. I'm sure that's the realistic response, considering her family, but I wondered if she could get support through the school - music teachers or whatever? See how you got me invested?!

Sorry if this is confusing. I admire your writing and your stories and your heart. Doesn't seem like it would be hard to find a publisher for this. Best of luck in both careers!

Shelved, of course.

Hawaii is very dear to my heart and after reading 4 chapters of this book it became dear to my heart. This is a very emotion pulling story. I see this book going far in its journey. I will put this on my list to shelf. The very best to you.

I love this book. The lyrical descriptions at the start, of the river and the place, are amazing. The stories are so sad, and yet there is hope there. The little traumatised boy who gradually begins to heal, the girl whose mother was a drug addict - these are gripping to read about. The writer's own story is very moving. She has managed to overcome her own difficult start so well, and now shows us how she is helping children with equally hard starts in life. Each child is drawn carefully so that we feel we know them right from the first introduction. The book is written in an engaging style, simple enough for easy reading, but with a lot of beauty and depth. Not all the stories will have happy endings. Loki, for instance, a budding sociopath - how will he turn out? The suggestions are chilling.
This is such an excellent book, that I want to finish it, but meanwhile, I'm going ahead and backing it. Hope it goes far.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Your upbringing gave you a unique insight that made you a natural for your work and you tell your story in a compelling way.

I can't add any more other than to say that I have backed your book and wish you success.

John

This is an enlightening piece of non-fiction. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to not only come to terms with your past but also be able to face it in the eyes of the children you are helping. Backed with pleasure.

This is one I'm shelving to read more of. Firstly, you write well and allow the reader to lose themselves in a new world seen through your eyes. Secondly, by sharing your experiences, and those of others, in such a sympathetic way, we feel safe to really listen - and learn. Backed. Clare (Second Lives)

Hi Julia.
What a fantastic story. Time stopped me going any futher than the first chapter, but I did have time to read so many comments of your readers. Have shelved and will be back soon. Best of luck, you should be on the editors desk vert soon.
Terry. ("Never Again")

I like smoke and Mirrors best. Reminds me of someone. Good luck with this.

This is a very moving story. You should be snapped up by HarperTrue, because not only is it hauntingly sad and engaging, but well written. One of the best true stories on here, writing wise.
Backed
Flicka

Hi Julia!

Since you were so kind as to point out some other wonderful non-fiction books, I decided to wander on over and check out yours as well. I agree with Jane that I felt the first chapter moved too fast - mostly because I'm greedy and I wanted to know more. I majored in Psych at UNH, and after initially wanting to be a therapist, I found four months of working in a group home with troubled teenage girls to be more than my heart could handle - I applaud your chosen profession and your amazing story. Shelved.


~Traci
Tangled Web

This is a different read for me, not something I would normally pick up.
I do love non-fiction.
I found myself riveted in the first chapter.
Backed.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Life, on a volcanic island in the early 70's through the experience of children...Sounds like mine...but it isn't.
This is the 'Garden Isle', one of the wettest and most beautiful places on Earth and the contrasts and similarities with my work were illuminating.
Backed.

Hi Julia. Have had this on my WL for a while and finally got to read it this afternoon. I am fascinated by therapy and so this had huge appeal for me. Now, don't shoot me, but I think you've missed your real story here. Your first chapter is incredible - not so much the way it is written right now but the STORY. Dear God. I kept wanting to shout, 'No, no, don't leave it there - keep going.' This could be Running With Scissors in paradise....seriously. Nearly every snippet, almost every sentence, would merit a chapter in a book. Yet you gloss over them....It's literary golddust - all you need to do is shape it, let it flow.

I love what you're doing with the therapy chapters but to me they aren't quite enough on their own. Either we need some kind of narrative linking them - putting in more of your own life maybe - or perhaps flashing back in time to show how you faced similar problems and issues yourself.

But truly, honestly, I could see a three part series here. Your childhood. Your teens (and breaking free?) Your adult life dedicated to helping others.

I have a horrible feeling I have overstepped the mark here. I do hope not. I just think there is much much more you could do with this material and make it absolutely stunning.

In the meantime, I have no qualms about backing you in a very heartfelt way.
Jane
Walker

I love biography and this is great stuff, it gives a wise glimpse into another world, Backed with pleasure.
BADD.

As some one who works with children and who also DEVOURS travel writing, this book really hits the spot for me! I hope you get this published, I really do. It's both moving and uplifting and I don't want to have to read the rest of it off a screen! Consider me one potential buyer... I want to know if you get this in print so I can get my own copy!

M&J
'GRAEMOR'

well, Miss...uh....Julia ;o) i'm placing this on my shelf to give you my support. i will come back at a later date to give it a better look, my full attention, and constructive feedback. i've only barely touched the surface of your powerful autobiography and i will certainly be reading more :oD Thank you for bringing this to my attention and for having the balls, and talent, to write this!

For a good portion of this book I felt like you were talking to me, and not at me, which I think must be the hallmark of a good therapist! But is also the hallmark of a good writer... you drew me in without hampering me down in details. If anything, I think you should slow your pace down a little. It is punchy, but I felt at times as though I needed time to breath, to refresh my mind. As an English girl I have in my mind, of course, the image of Hawaii as a sunbaked paradise. This darker side is one I'm not altogether comfortable with. And so while I love the writing, I also felt challenged by the story. Best of luck with this one. People have been talking about it. L.x

Congrats. Improved first chapter. Needs a bit of editing, tho. You should look for a mentor to assist with that.

R Evel Bunnie

BACKING because Simon Swift did and I trust his instincts. Those pitches look perfect as well. Think you can make it to the Ed's desk. I'll swing by later to give you a right and proper comment.

Do look forward to your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

This is very brave and very good! Shelved with pleasure! Good luck Julia!
Simon x

What an intriguing story. It is one that I had never even considered, but so much more interesting for it. It goes beyond all my expectations of what life would be like in that situation, and so does your writing. Involving and absorbing, it tells this strange tale with an endearing tone. I like autobiographical works, especially ones from foreign places with strange cultures, so this is easy for me to enjoy.

Andrew

Julia,

It's always interesting to slip into the human mind, but especially the minds of children. I love reading the neat things that kids say and how they view the world. Unfortunately this is not one of those stories. This is about how they are being shaped while they're young and impressionable. Reminds me of a bumper sticker that says "Be nice to your kids, they'll decide what nursing home you end up in."

Well done.Very real, gritty and down to earth. Shelved.

Amanda

I cried all through chapter 1 and then I started to cry at the end of chapter 2 as well. This is such poignant reading that I will have to do it in bits and pieces. I love Hawaii so much; have been on six islands over the years and I can never absorb enough of the beauty.

I knew about the hippies around Hilo but wasn't aware of the culture on Kauai as well. This is a wonderful story you tell, even tho' so very sad. It certainly is a different Hawaii than the one we see from the balconies of our pastel 1 BR condos or plumeria scented hotel rooms. Yes, I will come back here often. In the meantime, I'm backing and shelving.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

hippy milieu, paradise with dark edges, the kids' perspective with that keen-eyed observation of the love and peace, flower-child , slightly self-indulgent, clothes-optional adults . .

that milieu reminded me a bit of t c boyle's drop city -- but you are describing it for real, from direct, personal experience, and that adds another edge .

your writing is highly vivid, you capture the people and the paradisical setting superbly .

the raspy timbre in ikaika's voice, when they're together and he's drawing, and opening up, was an especially powerful observation, i thought, like his experience has tried (but failed) to silence him, crush his voice . . (one of my characters suffers something similarly brutal) . .

"i feel privileged to be witnessing this" says the intern, and this reader feels the same .

that paradise has a dark side makes it all the more necessary for there to escape the darkness into the light, and your book shows this in action .

shelved, and wishing you well with it .

freddie
("honour")

Chapter 4

I've melted into this...

Chapter 3

-"...a rusty bark like it doesn't get out much." Fantastic line.

Hooked hard.

Chapter 2

-I'd leave off the 'purple prose' bit.
-"...toughness like a hard rubber ball." Love this analogy. Just like the ocean/shell bit earlier.
-Revealing, I'd say, how young ones choose to play. Never thought what an insight that could be.

Wow, short powerful chapter. Punchy outro. Digging it.

onward.

Hello, Ms. *Ahem* Kamani. ;)

Chapter 1

-"...warm as amniotic fluid." Ewww! :) How about jacuzzi warm?
-She took all the dogs to the pound? Man, harsh.
-"Still, some part of me still..." Just a repetition.

This grabbed me by the face. Really drew me in. I can see it, feel it from a child's perspective.

Onward.

I love your direct yet evocative writing-- non-fiction that reads with ease and self-confidence.

Julia
I read essays 10, 11 and 12 for a different look. Wow, what a snapshot of real life, pain and suffering. You garner a lot of sympathy for the young victims and respect for what you do. The dialect is so real the reader feels he is sitting in on your meetings. I have some editing nit picks but I think this kind of memoir writing should go unedited. Keep up the good work and my best wishes go with you on your book.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Julia,
I read essays 10, 11 and 12 for a different look. What a snapshot out of real life. You draw a lot of sympathy for the young victims and a lot of respect for what you do. I have some editing nit picks, but I think this kind of memoir writing should not be edited. The dialect is so real the reader feels as though he is sitting in the meetings. You do wonderful work and my best wishes go with you on this book.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Loved the descriptions like "satin water" and "hippie village" it gives me a good depiction of the scenery and feeling of the charater. i love how this seems to based on a true story about you. will make it all the more interesting to read.

"Sunrise-colored..." beautiul line there. :)
"hypnotizes me to hear the language spoken." very interesting . liked this line as well.

so far it is very well-written. too wonderful to nit. can't find any mistakes. shelved.

Some stories need to be out in the open, this is one of them. It deals with the things that debilitate so many of us, our horrible secrets. Anyone who braves these troubled waters and brings their ugliness to the forefront has nothing but my respect. Thank you. On my shelf.C.P

Intersting read, Julia.
Backed.

Justin
Falcons on the Floor

I'll be honest, Julia: I wasn't sure how I'd react to this. I thought it might be weighed down by grimness, or perhaps somewhat earnest.

Instead I've found a series of deft character sketches that convey an astonishing amount in very few words. Moving and involving, but never sentimental. Clear-eyed observation, but with your own deep love of people showing through.

I've read all your uploaded chapters today. Beautifully done.

Shelved.

Good heavens! I started this and I just couldn't stop. I read everything you've posted. This is just extraoridinary, it's beautifully written, it's poignant and touching. I really want to sit down with you now for a counselling session. This is just so lovely.

Format wise, I noticed you have some indentation issues, which I think is likely because some of your paragraphs are indented and some are tabbed. Publishing software prefers tabs. I'm sort of just guessing the reason, but I think if you turn your word processer on to show all formatting marks you'll be able to see the problem. If you have MS word it's through Tools/Options/View/Show all Formatting Marks. I think.

Other nitpicks:

Ch. 1? “Mrs. Tamaguchi withdrews,” should be “withdraws.”

Ch. 3. "She turns to wave." There’s an extra space or something between “to” and “wave.”

Ch. 4. “I already knew why she went--caught busted stealing...” Should it be “caught” or “busted” not both???

Ch.7 “Mahina comes into my room...” There’s a space in the word “comes.” “I show her my sad ‘home lunch’” There’s an extra space between “my” and “sad”.

Ch. 9 “Queenie, (a?) stately Hawaiian aide, sat down on the steps beside him, her gold bracelets jangling, frowning with irritation.” It sounds like her bracelets are frowning.

“I didn’t know the staff shower worked. Does it have hot water?” There are no spaces between “worked” and “does.”

Ch. 10. “With surprisingly good fine motor skills.” “Good” or “fine”?

Ch. 12. “And rang no tastebud or bell.” There seems to be an extra space between “no” and “tastebud.”

Are those symbols representative of swearing or of something you don’t understand? I found it a bit...confusing.


Other than that, I think this is really fabulous. Best of luck with it. I'd like to see something with this much potential to inspire and uplift be published. I would certainly buy it and read it hungrily.

One thing I couldn't help but notice is how hungry these kids are for love / attention and how you give it to them some openly and that makes all the difference. The story with Amy - a compliment or two and she's willing to open up, give you a hug, while with the teacher she's defiant. And with lines like she doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell with American Idol shows us that you aren't in denial. And with Kaikamahine - how ease it was to make her dimples come out - even though she's got plenty of problems at home. "The cup incident" show us that you went through a lot yourself as a child. I stumbled over the line "Reflecting defiance from being away from the family." I had to read it a couple of times before I understood what you were saying. Why were you away from your family? Any way, this is very good. I love these kinds of books, and I'm not sure why because they are so sad. Maybe because it makes me realize how luck I am. Maybe because it's hard not to have sympathy with someone helpless - and to feel the injustice of it. You write well. Best of luck.

Julia - this is a fascinating and very moving story. I suppose like many others I always looked on Hawaii through rose tinted spectacles, but a friend is in social work and many times she has alluded to issues that you raise in Children of Paradise. The conclusion, I guess, is that we're all pretty much the same the world over. Backed with pleasure and wishing you well. Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)