The Olive Tree

...he had had advised him...
Very nicely crafted with wonderful descriptive passages...the dialogue also works to bring out the character of Yanni and the tourist...very impressive indeed...good luck with it
Stewart

Yanni is a very REAL character. We like him off the bat, and his annoyance at the girl is both understandable and forgivable. It's hard to put into words what you have done here. Sometimes you keep things very simple, and it's powerful. Other time things are fresh... eyebrows sloping down around the eye, for example...and that's powerful too. Yanni's feeling about home go beyond nostalgia, though there is that too. I sense he has a curious past that will become more clear as we read on. this was a beautiful read.

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

This is a good story. Your descriptions of Greece are wonderful. Made me want to plan a vacation to there. You do equally well fleshing out your characters. The theme is tried and true (the father's sins extend to the son) but it's tried and true because it always makes for a good story. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I like Yanni. The writing is wonderful, totally evocative of Greece. And I just love the first sentence ... beautiful.
Backed.
Andrea. Breach of Faith.

Ah, Greece...this is very evocative, flowing. Yanni is real, believable, likeable. The writing goes from the straightforward to the beautiful. A pleasure to read, on a par with "Inside Out". On my shelf :)

You have a descriptive writing style that truly sets the scene.
Good luck with this,
On my shelf,
Carole

Pitch brilliant; Book Cover evocative; Opening Verse about the caterpillar's reflection in the raindrop heavenly.

This is a marvellously conceived story. Excellent descriptive touch throughout the chapters I looked at (earliest few). Compelling characters. I like this because it is similar in its concerns to my piece, while being different to it yet equally original. Easy to back this. Delightful and will do very well, I'm sure.

Alexander *The Wisdom Tree and the Dormouse*

Thought I'd backed this days ago...I'm so behind! And I do like this very much: Lyrical, but builds something solid. Solid, the dust of the road in the air. There are so many lovely turns of phrase, and I mean, *so* many - that I find myself with mental blue pencil on a couple that seem 'off'. Twice - both times at the ends of chapters - which is where you want graceful execution. Last line of ch 1: questionable use of the word 'portray'. (Do you mean that Anna was observing play of emotions on his face?) Last line of ch 3: "There were too many unanswerable questions" seems bland as a final line of a chapter - because you're a strong stylist. Look at the end of, say ch 2: that's your power as a writer! So - I'd want to see something graceful / decisive / precise / poetic in these two places.

You have something beautiful and promising here,
Andrea
(Last Days of the Transitional Objects Institute)

Hello Chris, I have now read some of your second story and it doesn't disappoint. Your writing is indeed lyrical and I love the thought of a truck 'wheezing' - just one of many wonderful lines. It is Christmas (almost) and I will read some more of your story after the holidays, but in the meantime, I will back it to the hilt! Well done. SHELVED of course. Happy Christmas.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm (Please would you have a look t this for me?)

Really enjoying this. Like this line
Cupid has misfired in your direction ... Intelligent and funny. I enjoyed the characters from the start, and know you will provide a terrific story to go along with them.
backed
- Genevieve
Under The Same Sky
ps I'd love to know what you think of my book sometime.

How could I NOT love this? It is set in one of my favourite places in the entire world, and you even mention Epidauros in the first chapter! I could have known I would like the writing, from your other work, so that's a given but this is so different - and so lovely.
Sorry, short comment as I have no heating and i can barely type for the cold.... which makes me crave even more the Grecian sun.
Very backed
Jane
WALKER

PS - thank Callaghan for this - I hadn't evenrealisd you had another book up..;)

Wow... I wish I could back this book more than once so I am plugging you to everybody. Beautiful work and I WILL read all of it but now I need to press on thru my queue.

Very impressed. LOVE! Callaghan

Chapter 3: A few typos, otherwise, beautiful. Your characters are dimensional, your description deeply moving. I love this work -- even better than "Inside Out". It's captivating! Great job!

Loving regards,

Callaghan

You have really captured the atmosphere of small village isolation in this.
Can I suggest you chop the last paragraps, - endthe chapter with the comment about him not taking it back his badly worded reply to her.
Shelving this. good luck with it. .

I really enjoyed this. The setting in the opening chapter was wonderful. It reminded me of my youth, when my parents would call home to the village where I was born. There was only one telephone in the entire village and that was in the cafe. It was answered by whoever was in the general vicinity and there was always a rucus as someone was sent to summon my uncles and aunts. Your opening captures that feeling of reluctant change wonderfully well

The Olive Tree

Hi Chris,

You are right it is a lyrical story, weaved in words. Fantastic, clear, concise and well-edited writing, we could have an instant classic on our hands. But I don't think you should say the bit about weaving magic, lyrical etc in your pitch it sounds boastful, leave it to people like me to say that. Powerful story, dressed beautifully in words, majestic, human, emotionally engaging from the off. A magical scene, a wonderful focus, characters who walk fully formed and complex onto the page.

There was no problem at all in deciding to support this book, very well done, I will advertise this in the forum later, best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)

This is a very accessible read.
The writing evokes a sense of place very easily, and the charactaristics of a national people are portrayed warmly and without cliche.
I found myself intrested in the main character and want to join him on his journey - both geographical and emotional.
Backed with pleasure.

Chris,
I've put the Olive Tree on my Watchlist and will read this weekend.
Barbara Silkstone

Hi Chris,

I found this delightful novel on one of the book charts the other day. I am captivated by your writing, details that pop off the page. In fact, in reading this flowing literature, I feel the Greek sun on my back, I can smell the food cooking in the taverna and basically you place me there, as a reader.

The beginning of your first chapter drew me in. You seep out the details of Yanni's secret, little by little, leading with bread crumbs. As a reader, I know he must have done something unforgiveable to have shutters and doors of the villagers slammed in his face and to be disowned by his parents.

I will read more later and definitely shelve in a couple of days or so. Really, this is gorgeous! And the characters are already getting under my skin, in a good way. I feel for Yanni and the burden he carries.

Patricia
All Saints' Day

Chris

This is what I call an 'armchair read' more comfortable to sit back and enjoy it, than to read leaning over a lap top.....Its very well written and draws the reader immediately to the picturesaque Greek mountainside..... I thought the dialogue flowed well....Anna did a good job of drawing Yanni 'out'

My only niggle is that I would have liked a clue as to why Yanni kept his secret for so long and then suddenly felt compelled to admit to what he'd done....Surely he's felt guilt all his life, so that's not really the reason he decided to confess......he'd have guessed what the outcome of his confession would have been.....maybe he could reflect whilst waiting for the bus, tell us what keeping a secret like that did to him...

I enjoyed this....best of luck.....shelved

Chris

This is what I call an 'armchair read' more comfortable to sit back and enjoy it, than to read leaning over a lap top.....Its very well written and draws the reader immediately to the picturesaque Greek mountainside..... I thought the dialogue flowed well....Anna did a good job of drawing Yanni 'out'

My only niggle is that I would have liked a clue as to why Yanni kept his secret for so long and then suddenly felt compelled to admit to what he'd done....Surely he's felt guilt all his life, so that's not really the reason he decided to confess......he'd have guessed what the outcome of his confession would have been.....maybe he could reflect whilst waiting for the bus, tell us what keeping a secret like that did to him...

I enjoyed this....best of luck.....shelved

Chris

I have to agree with Betty K. Chapter 3 is back on track. Well done.

Hi Chris:
My eyes are somewhat better and I can finally focus to read some chapters. I really enjoyed the first chapter. It was magnificant. I loved your introduction and your setting. I was immediately drawn into the wonderful eastern Mediterranean setting. Your writing there is superb and I could actually feel Yanni's pain at having to leave the village. From your pitch we know what the disgrace is but in the story it leaves us with a nice mystery.

You must have travelled to these areas or lived there to describe it all so well. You also seem to understand the hearts of the people there. It comes through in the writing.

I still liked chapter 2 although it seemed to wander a little and there was a little too much "telling" . I'm sure in your next edit you will tighten that up. (I get called on that myself.) Maybe too much reminiscing on the part of Yanni.

In chapter 3 you were back on track. I didn't mind him sharing the room with the girl. It seemed to come about rather naturally; even the love scene. I love exotic settings and getting into people's minds so this is definitely a book I would buy. I'll give it another night on my shelf.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

P.S. Hopefully you will take a look at my book but I'll understand if you don't.

Chapter One has a lovely lyrical quality to it. Yanni is well developed and likable. The situation with Anna, however, is strange. Why would she let him share her room in the hotel? Chapter Two meanders. What is Yanni going with himself? Is he going to sit around listening to conversations all his life? Is he going to sponge off of Anna? Chapter One left me wanting to know more. Chapter two did not.

I loved reading your first chapter. I could see it all so clearly. I love books that take me back to places I have known, and I have picked olives in that area with my family.
So far I have only one suggestion, which is merely that I would like to see you leaving a little more to the reader's imagination. - For instance you do not need to TELL us that Yanni is gloomy and not in the mood for conversation, you could show it, and in fact do show it through the brusqueness of his reply. If you just give the reply the reader will pick up the rest. You don't need to explain either, the straightforwardness of the girl's words - it is self evident - trust the reader.
Other than that, you have a slight formatting problem to tidy up - either to indent or not to indent paras.
This book is on my shelf, and I'll get back as I read on. Lovely work. I enjoyed it. Julia