TAXI

'Taxi'
This is a great read! I used to drive a taxi myself when retraining as a counsellor so I know the job inside out. There is gritty realism here that struck home. Driving so many hours something is bound to happen sooner or later and I often wondered how I would react. Who knows until we are there gripping the wheel, in shock? This is a gutsy, shocking read that tugs the emotions. The Dublin setting is brilliantly described. Definitely aimed for the desk, should be published and would make a great dark movie.
By the way, some days I took home only £8 working 8.00a.m. to 8.00p.m., freezing in a stinking Austin Montego with no heater and headlights that lit the tree-tops. Not happy memories! So, for taxi drivers everywhere support this book!
Nick
'Where She Lies'

I thought this was good, not quite what I was expecting from the cover and pitch (which made me think of a crime novel or thriller for some reason) but good nonetheless. A few thoughts which I hope help:

The opening chapter felt a bit over-written - watch out for those adverbs. A bit of pruning would not go amiss here.

The dialogue in places felt a bit forced, not entirely natural. The two places this stood out for me were the pregnancy conversation and when Danny and Julia talk about the funeral.

I am not entirely convinced by the accident itself. This is clearly a crucial part of the book and I think it needs more work - a much clearer build up and more attention paid to Danny's thought process during and after.

The mob scene also feels a bit over the top. Sure, there could be a bit of a scuffle but a full-blown mob where he is frightened for his life? It seemed a bit much.

I think we need more scene setting with Danny and Julia beforehand. We need to know more about them before the main story happens. If we empathise and like them then the events which take place will have more impact. As a reader I have not decided what I think of them by the time everything kicks off, as a result I am somewhat ambivalent about what happens to them.

Overall you have a thoughtful piece of work which feels pretty honest and true. The premise is strong and could have broad appeal. It needs a bit of tweaking but the core of what you have here is fine.

Best of luck with it.

TAXI / Paul Freeman

PITCH: The pitch should be reconstructed to show 'why' he feels the guilt concerning the death of the teenage girl. Frankly, I'd come right out and mention his part in the death. (I really think you left out the most important detail here)

I'll say first of all that I really enjoyed reading what is posted of this book. I'll buy it if / when it is published.

'Taxi' is a story about a man who inadvertently is involved in the death of a young woman. The protag is a cabbie, who while transporting a fare of three delinquent youths, runs the girl down while struggling to maintain control of his cab as one of them grabs the wheel. The pace is established early and blended nicely with inserts of Danny Coyle's present day life. Characterization is superb as Freeman moves quickly to describe an engaging personnification of his protagonist.

I know from being involved with this author in short story threads that he is a master of quality dialogue so I expected nothing less in his novel. I was right. The dialogue is text-book balanced to 'show' what he so skillfully enhances with just enough narrative to deliver the plot. Even in narrative, Freeman continues to delve into inner thoughts of the main character in a way that clearly defines his thought process, feelings and emotional stature.

The writing is literary in the sense that the author leaves no stone unturned. While it is written as a thriller, there is no feel of the writing being 'hurried' like is evident at many times with thriller writers with lesser experience than this craftsman of tales.

Freeman is beyond a doubt one of the best writers on the site. I think we all know that. What is interesting to me in reading this story is his ability to humanize each character so completely. I especially liked the character of Julia and he portrays her, the lover who is defensive of her man, blaming the woman who was killed as opposed to chastizing him for the deed. Her thoughts are explored in narrative to a point where the author almost stands on the fine line of POV switch, yet, I thought it was fitting that he establish her view in the story.

Danny Coyle is in a fine mess. Having been at the wheel of a cab that has struck and killed this young woman, he obviously struggles with the outcome to a point of near madness. An immediate escalation of alcohol intake, temper and other reactions are well-defined, not just visited. All while the story continues to move along nicely. Not only does the plot remain well described, but the author explores the inner thought processes of the protagonist in a way that rivals the literary fiction I mention earlier.

All this said, the book is in need of a professional edit. I'm sure Paul knows this. Nothing extreme, a few missing period, a misplaced comma or two and some broken paragraphs. Paul Freeman is an interesting writer, his depth having been on display in the Flash Fiction thread. With a unique knack for writing real-life situations, an uncanny ability to seem to portray characters as usual and regular as you and I, he breathes life into them all with a simplicity that denotes he is an everyday guy. It is a gift he possesses to do this in a way that doesn't oversensationalize or overwrite to give them character.

Another thing I note when I read Paul Freeman's work is a general understanding of who he is writing for. Never one to load his text with fourteen letter words, he writes for a big audience. Allowing a reader to feel reality of a character's real thoughts is not easy, yet Freeman does this with ease. He writes exactly like I feel this character in this story would think. Period! Essentially, he nails it.

I could see a movie coming from this script after publication. I'd sure spring for the ten bucks to see it.

Bravo, Paul. Good story, excellent characters, great plot! Would love to read more of this story so how about getting this thing on up there so we can see the edited, polished and published version soon.

E M Delaney

A very heart touching story, highly starred and on my watch list now.

Paul, I am putting this on my shelf soon (have to move things). I think this is really excellent. It maybe needs a bit of tidying (I mean very little, just the odd comma and so on!).
Robert

(PS. I notice that the middle-class English salesman has suggested that you don't know Dublin dialgue or life. I hope you give his big mouth all the respect it deserves)

I wish I had a pound every time I put this back on the shelf. Great to see authonomy gave it the thumbs up it so deserves.
Good luck Paul

Hi Paul,
I read the first three chapters.

I like the way you capture the insomnia of a night-shift worker, and how Danny has to wind-down, even if it’s already dawn. You’re setting up Danny for a fall by presenting his perfect day and you describe all the elements of it with lovely details. But I just kind of liked him better when he was on his own watching people throw up, or sitting watching tv with yesterday’s lasagne – maybe that says more about me! I don’t think Danny and Julia have to so smitten with each other.

The different types of fares are rendered very well in Ch 2. It’s great how we get to see Danny misjudge the guy going to Blanch and then the three lads who get in. The accident itself is thrilling and the results horrific. I was a bit confused as to what was going on right at the end; I thought Danny was already driving away.
I’d say you would write the scene where Danny has to deal with the cops at the accident really well, instead of just reporting it to Julia.

Danny’s guilty walk through the morning streets on his way to the early house is brilliant. As is the way you describe the results of his bender. I know he has gone through a terrible trauma and is drunk but I can’t quite reconcile his aggression to the Danny we saw in Ch 1. I think there should be hints to this side of his character early on.

I don’t think Jimmy would be grinning at Danny if he knew what he had been through the previous night.

All in all I thoroughly enjoyed the opening, some great writing and complex scenes handled very well. My main suggestion, which you can take or leave, would be to make Ch 1 a bit darker.

Looking forward to reading more. Best of luck with it.
Andrew.
The Morning Drop

'Taxi'
This is a great read! I used to drive a taxi myself when retraining as a counsellor so I know the job inside out. There is gritty realism here that struck home. Driving so many hours something is bound to happen sooner or later and I often wondered how I would react. Who knows until we are there gripping the wheel, in shock? This is a gutsy, shocking read that tugs the emotions. The Dublin setting is brilliantly described. Definitely aimed for the desk, should be published and would make a great dark movie.
By the way, some days I took home only £8 working 8.00a.m. to 8.00p.m., freezing in a stinking Austin Montego with no heater and headlights that lit the tree-tops. Not happy memories! So, for taxi drivers everywhere support this book!
Nick
'Where She Lies'

Awesome story! Happy to back your work. Hope you get a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown. Good Luck.
61BBboy

Backed Taxi. Best I’ve read on Authonomy! I am not an author so can’t give advise on the mechanics, but know a good book when I read it. Read the seven chapters you had posted. Your book was recommended by CC Brown, author of Dark Side. Read, liked, star rated, and backed. Hope you will find a place on your shelf for their book.
Rog50

Paul,
I have read all 7 chapters. This is a great story. Because I am American, some of the lingo you use is unfamiliar to me, but I think I worked through it!
Your descriptions of Danny's wrenching emotions are great. You really help the reader feel what he is feeling - the guilt, the horror, the nightmares - well done.
The writing is rough, however. Because it is an incomplete novel, I am sure that you are aware that some editing needs to be done. There are some instances where you have several comma splices and some run-ons, and I wasn't sure if that was intentional or if you were just trying to get your thoughts down. Either way, I recommend that you go through it and see where your could edit.
If I may, I'd like to make a suggestion - when you slip into your characters' thoughts, you may want to italicize those thoughts since you slip into first person.
You definitely have a strong foundation here. Keep at it. I know that when it is finished, it'll be an awesome, gut-wrenching story!
I hope that you will take a look at The Waiting Room and post some comments as well. Good luck to you and congratulations on making it to the top of the list! Laura Markovitch

Paul,
I love the quick pace of the first chapter. It is concise and it holds the reader's attention. I do have a question - is the man on the couch the same man who is coming off shift? It seems to jump from the taxi to the couch, so I was a little unclear if the two scenes involved the same man.
You do move quickly from scene to scene, but that is obviously your style of writing. Fast paced, the story does draw the reader in to want to read more - which is what I am going to do. Stay tuned for more comments as I go along. Good job. Laura Markovitch

Nice title and good pitch.
The descriptions are well thought out and written. The dialog is pretty good, though it would be far better without the over abundance of swear words.
Good work!

Bria Heart <3

Really liked the setting. Not a comfortable read but so well written. Shocking chapter 2. I will read more of this.

Gotta say, this is one of those books you just keep reading. I thought your opening chapter pulled me in and I needed to know what was going to happen next.

Hello Paul,
Chaps 1-3.
Thought I was onto something that you may find useful but see that bigmouth has got there first. The whole package is very good-authentic, paced and well-written. My feeling was that you asked the reader to go with the MC and his girlfriend without delivering enough substance. It gives the narrative a plastic (terrible word I'm sorry) feel that weakens the overall narrative. Its a balance. The description of Julia in the MCs words feels genuine and moving and we know Danny is a good skin. But what marks them out? What's to stop it feeling like Somebody Elses Problem and one I don't need to care about. I noticed in the aftermath of the accident that I felt myself retreat from Danny like a closing camera-shot. I didn't want to get involved.
Obviously if you rectified this then the impact would be immediate and the story hard to leave.
An enjoyable read that I'll WL.
Thank you.
John
Dropping Babies.

Paul, this is straight-from-the-heart writing, with the characters of Danny and Julia brought fully to life. It rings of authenticity in a way that makes the reader live the players' emotions as the plot unfolds. First we experience Danny's apprehension and rage as his insane passengers cause the accident, then his distress and confusion as he wrestles with the death, and on through the graphic funeral scene where he engages with the mother of the girl he killed. And there's no let-up. This episode sweeps him and Julia into other crises, such as her perilous childbirth, the haunting death still in the background. Fortunately, Danny's droll proposal to Julia offers well-timed relief, but the tension is still there. And we're compelled to read on.

On faith alone that the rest is as well written, I will back "Taxi" without delay. Something tells me the mastery so far displayed is sustained to the end.

Bill Carrigan
("The Doctor of Summitville")

Putting you on my watchlist; you're Irish and I'll read it properly later on today. Please what do you think of mine; Shades of Green? Could you do the same? Would welcome an Irish opinion. Thanks
Mary

I thought this was good, not quite what I was expecting from the cover and pitch (which made me think of a crime novel or thriller for some reason) but good nonetheless. A few thoughts which I hope help:

The opening chapter felt a bit over-written - watch out for those adverbs. A bit of pruning would not go amiss here.

The dialogue in places felt a bit forced, not entirely natural. The two places this stood out for me were the pregnancy conversation and when Danny and Julia talk about the funeral.

I am not entirely convinced by the accident itself. This is clearly a crucial part of the book and I think it needs more work - a much clearer build up and more attention paid to Danny's thought process during and after.

The mob scene also feels a bit over the top. Sure, there could be a bit of a scuffle but a full-blown mob where he is frightened for his life? It seemed a bit much.

I think we need more scene setting with Danny and Julia beforehand. We need to know more about them before the main story happens. If we empathise and like them then the events which take place will have more impact. As a reader I have not decided what I think of them by the time everything kicks off, as a result I am somewhat ambivalent about what happens to them.

Overall you have a thoughtful piece of work which feels pretty honest and true. The premise is strong and could have broad appeal. It needs a bit of tweaking but the core of what you have here is fine.

Best of luck with it.

Ok, so I read chapter 1 and despite being a bit freaked by the story set in Dublin and a protagonist called Danny (My book Ghost Estate is also set in Dublin and with a leading man called Danny!) I'm immediately drawn into the landscape and surroundings. This was easy for me as I'm from this city but I have to say you have it all down to a T. I don't believe I'm yet qualified to critique anyone's work but as an avid reader and novice writer I'm not afraid to review and say how a book makes me feel. The dialogue is spot on, something which I hope I achieve in Ghost Estate too and I'd be thrilled if you could take a look at it. Overall this is great and I will deffo be coming back for more. I have to rate this highly.

I didn't expect to get inside the head of a Dublin taxi driver this evening but I'm glad I did. This book really brings Dublin's seedier night life to light. The drama is so well delivered. The accident comes as a sickening blow and I felt for Danny as he struggled to make the right decision. How awful that life can change from optimism to gut-churning fear in a split second. The book is very well written with a very economical style. No wasted words here. I want to read on and find out whether the decisions Danny made destroy his life or not. A great read that felt quite televisual- could see this as gritty tv drama. Candy.

Paul:

Excellently written in the kind of spare prose that really appeals to me, Taxi is a well-paced and economical story confidently told. Especially appealing is your understanding of how much can be left out of the narrative without confusing the reader. I have to admit that I went back and forth a few times in thinking the book should start with Chapter Two, but I don't feel decisive enough in that opinion to say so definitively. I thought maybe you could work the important details of Ch. 1 into Danny's ruminations during his early-evening fares, thereby pushing that dreadful accident right up front in the reader's face. The scenes with him and Julia on their outing are romantic and touching--and news of the baby is undeniably important--but I wondered if there isn't a bit of extraneous information that could be pared down and meshed into the accident chapter. Just a thought. Regardless of this minor qualm, I really enjoyed your writing. Hope you can push Taxi to the desk (if that's your desire).

Best,
Rob

Totally authentic picture of Dublin - the times I've been in those cabs from Heuston, seeing the kids reeling around Grafton Street any night of the week - this has me homesick for Dublin in a weird way. And the first few chapters, the existential dilemma of Danny [reminded me of Crime and Punishment, not that your style is Dostoevsky but the moral anguish is], kept me reading to the end.I have a feeling this death is not over, nor should it be.... I wonder about the sudden injection of facts re Julia's family before she speaks to her uncle, all we need to know is about him at that point - I felt the family background was holding up the story. We get from the narrative what her relationship with Danny is and do we need to know about her background? If so, it could come in later when I am sure they will be round to see the baby... the scene at the funeral is excellent... a good read, Paul, and if I see you getting towards the ED it will be up on my shelf before you can say Michael D Higgins - slan, Fan K

Dear Paul

When I looked you up, I can't say this was what I was expecting. When I read the pitch, my heart sank. When I read chapters one and two, well, I had to admit this is a fast paced, believable and compelling tale. The dialogue is well judged, the scenes are perfectly pitched. I hope you upload more. Rated.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

Hello Paul, I've just read the first three chapters of your book. Two of the key scenes in my book involve Dublin taxi drivers so I thought I'd take a look after reading your pitch. I certainly wasn't dissapointed. Great stuff you have there, man. I'm short for time and only intended to read the first chapter but I felt I had to read on. The dialogue is great and most importantly, it's very realistic. Danny is a great character so and the way you described how he approached the young girl's corpse and the many conflicting thoughts running through his head was fantastically done. Six stars, man, and immediately backed.

EMDelaney's comments pulled me into this one. He said Freeman is one of the best writers on this site so I started reading. It starts off with an eerie orange glow on deserted streets and then goes on to show the streets ain't deserted at all - there's people and taxi drivers. Given Dublin at that hour in the morning I was expecting some action but it didn't come. You do however have a very direct and convincing style, nothing too fancy just what's required to move the story on without the reader getting bogged down and I think that's a difficult skill to perfect. The dialogue was used to great effect. It had me thinking he doesn't love her, he's just infatuated with her sexually. I could be wrong but that's how it came across. Whenever he saw her there was always some kind of sexual comment. Don't know why she would stop taking the pill and not tell him, unless of course she has planned for a child. Oi tink bein a Dub, Danny should be sayin it's dat Jaysus fella all da toime. Jaysus sounds a lot better than Jesus - too English. From what I have read you have yerself a fine tale to tell and I wish you the best of luck.

Chris Carr The sTash

TAXI / Paul Freeman

PITCH: The pitch should be reconstructed to show 'why' he feels the guilt concerning the death of the teenage girl. Frankly, I'd come right out and mention his part in the death. (I really think you left out the most important detail here)

I'll say first of all that I really enjoyed reading what is posted of this book. I'll buy it if / when it is published.

'Taxi' is a story about a man who inadvertently is involved in the death of a young woman. The protag is a cabbie, who while transporting a fare of three delinquent youths, runs the girl down while struggling to maintain control of his cab as one of them grabs the wheel. The pace is established early and blended nicely with inserts of Danny Coyle's present day life. Characterization is superb as Freeman moves quickly to describe an engaging personnification of his protagonist.

I know from being involved with this author in short story threads that he is a master of quality dialogue so I expected nothing less in his novel. I was right. The dialogue is text-book balanced to 'show' what he so skillfully enhances with just enough narrative to deliver the plot. Even in narrative, Freeman continues to delve into inner thoughts of the main character in a way that clearly defines his thought process, feelings and emotional stature.

The writing is literary in the sense that the author leaves no stone unturned. While it is written as a thriller, there is no feel of the writing being 'hurried' like is evident at many times with thriller writers with lesser experience than this craftsman of tales.

Freeman is beyond a doubt one of the best writers on the site. I think we all know that. What is interesting to me in reading this story is his ability to humanize each character so completely. I especially liked the character of Julia and he portrays her, the lover who is defensive of her man, blaming the woman who was killed as opposed to chastizing him for the deed. Her thoughts are explored in narrative to a point where the author almost stands on the fine line of POV switch, yet, I thought it was fitting that he establish her view in the story.

Danny Coyle is in a fine mess. Having been at the wheel of a cab that has struck and killed this young woman, he obviously struggles with the outcome to a point of near madness. An immediate escalation of alcohol intake, temper and other reactions are well-defined, not just visited. All while the story continues to move along nicely. Not only does the plot remain well described, but the author explores the inner thought processes of the protagonist in a way that rivals the literary fiction I mention earlier.

All this said, the book is in need of a professional edit. I'm sure Paul knows this. Nothing extreme, a few missing period, a misplaced comma or two and some broken paragraphs. Paul Freeman is an interesting writer, his depth having been on display in the Flash Fiction thread. With a unique knack for writing real-life situations, an uncanny ability to seem to portray characters as usual and regular as you and I, he breathes life into them all with a simplicity that denotes he is an everyday guy. It is a gift he possesses to do this in a way that doesn't oversensationalize or overwrite to give them character.

Another thing I note when I read Paul Freeman's work is a general understanding of who he is writing for. Never one to load his text with fourteen letter words, he writes for a big audience. Allowing a reader to feel reality of a character's real thoughts is not easy, yet Freeman does this with ease. He writes exactly like I feel this character in this story would think. Period! Essentially, he nails it.

I could see a movie coming from this script after publication. I'd sure spring for the ten bucks to see it.

Bravo, Paul. Good story, excellent characters, great plot! Would love to read more of this story so how about getting this thing on up there so we can see the edited, polished and published version soon.

E M Delaney

Hello Paul-
book - TAXI-

I genuinely thought i had read this book a long time ago; apparently not; and wonder
as to how i missed it ; an Irish book about the streets of Dublin.

well; read the seven chapters posted and i can see as to why it is rated so highly.
It's good, in fact very good, so gritty and Danny, the taxi driver, drives us around the streets picking up fares, and relating his thoughts on the various characters; until that dreadful day; for him when he picks up a group of hooligans, drunk and out of their mind.
The dialogue between Danny and them causing him to knock down and kill a young girl.
living with this is causing him so much grief which is so well told as the pages turn, and of course his relationship with his wife Julia. The premise as to how this all end up i cant wait to read, and hope to do so later when further chapters posted.
I have no doubt that this book will reach the editors desk and i wish you the best of Irish luck.

tom bye Dublin Ireland
book- from hugs to kisses'
please glance at mine and star as you deem fit ; about a boy growing up in Dublin in the 40s
you might like chapter 24 and chapter 12; both ever so true;

This is a good read - easy to fall into and utterly believable characters.
I'd like to read more but time doesn't allow. I'll try to come back to it soon.

Good luck.
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

- Taxi -

(chapters one to seven)

I enjoyed reading this a lot. The relatively simple prose style taking us through complex emotions of grief, guilt and remorse is very effective. The characters are well developed. We have an idea of Danny from the very start, through his interaction with his passengers and then Julia. Julia herself is drawn out nicely with some crisp, clean backstory later on.

The dramatic scenes worked well for me. The accident and the funeral scene were both moving and did their jobs well. I particularly like this idea of one moment changing everything and how the characters have to deal with that. These two scenes in particular really got in about that and fleshed out the emotions. Very nice bit of characterisation of Danny as flawed in his decision-making process over what to do about the girl.

Given the amount of comments already here, I imagine most of my nitpicks will have been mentioned already. But I don't like to read other comments before making one myself so I'll throe em in just in case.

In chapter one, the use of commas in 'The last of the revellers, staggered their way home,....' is a bit confusing.

I also thought Danny's affection for Julia was established by the first few times he looked at her admiringly. It carries on a fair bit and mibbes ends up being laid on a bit thick. Just my opinion though.

In chapter two, there really needs to be a comma beore the term of address in 'Where to love?' otherwise it's a bit confusing and reads more like a question of where to perform the action of loving,

Typo in 'Why hadn't he just keep going?'

In three, I think the adjective could be killed in 'They sat in an uncomfortable silence', as the discomfort is established by the situation.

In chapter five, there's a full stop where there should be a comma and a capital S where there should be a small one in 'You can't be serious.' She said.

Chapter seven, 'otherwise' should be one word.

As I say though, grand stuff. Glad to have read it.

Cheers,

Ross

Loved the first 3 chapters! Putting your work on my shelf. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown. Good Luck.
61BBboy

I love the characters of Danny and Julia. I could feel the grittiness of Dannys work but then he goes home to his pregnant partner. I read chapter 1 and already pulled in. Good luck!

I fell into the pitch as it was so original. I am very looking forward to reading this :)

Wow. You've managed to make me care very much about your characters right from the start. I already feel so much for Danny. What a horrible predicament.

Well-written and the subject matter makes for a fascinating look at human nature. I think others have mentioned something about changing the opening but the one you have is what made me keep reading. Just FYI.

Will definitely be on my shelf when I can clear off a space.

Hi Paul. I have just finish chapter one and could instantly relate to your MC and the effects of working nightshifts, and to the surroundings having been to Howth and seen seals bobbing up and down by the dockside for myself!
Great start to the book, I have rated and WLed your work and will be back for more! One thing though, I think there are a few too many commas in the opening breaking the flow of words however I guess this is also down to personal preference.
Best of luck and looking forward to reding on.
Adina
Confessions of a Dervish.

Paul, you have a great flow to your writing. It's quick to read, especially your dialogue, and two great characters that I can relate to. I am a server and I know what it's like to get home at 2 in the morning and have your sleeping pattern all messed up. I sympathized for the man just because how he acted in the morning. he wasn't grumpy at all. Maybe that's because he's in love. :) Just small things that I liked were him looking at her in a certain way and how he reacts so calmly to news, whether it be bad or good. He reminds me of myself a little. I love when I can connect with the characters I'm reading. I'm glad he didn't get all mad about her having a baby. It's a huge cliche when they do get angry or act really surprised. I didn't catch any errors. I think that's because I was so deep in your story. But nothing big enough to stand out. 5 stars.
Nightdream

Hi Paul, Just saw this on the home page. Tags. I think you need to put more in. Three’s not enough.

I like the idea, and the whole atmosphere of Taxi. I just read down the first page to see how the grabbers work. I think the novel should start with, “Danny switched off his two-way radio”. The image of him rubbing his temples creates a perfect visual image of Danny. I see it side on, head down. Then the details of the streets of Dublin can come in as he rolls away. Yep. It’s good. I like it.

The dialogue is a bit stilted with “ye.” I used some Scots “ye”s in my TONY BLAIR novel, and people just thought it was pirate speak. Not a clue! So what I did in TIGER HUGS, is take a slice out of Joyce’s story in Dubliners, Clay, where missus is on a bus and says, “You don’t know a man till he has a drop taken.” No dialect, but it conveys a way of speaking, an accent and a character that makes your heart sing. Joyce. Genius!

I’m off for a week, but I hope to come back and read some more. All the best. - Ian

Brilliant first chapter, I am hooked and going back for more.

Paul - this is really excellent. Not only did I appreciate it because I lived in Dublin for a year so I felt like I could picture everything - the Taxi driver, the rain-sodden streets, Howth - where I used to go cliff-walking, the three drunk troublemakers, the pubs, the pints, everything...but this is also written really well. I was completely hooked in by the story of Danny and Julia - I wanted to know what happened next and I kept on reading after every chapter. I also wondered in this story if there needed to be more of an accent apparent in the speech of the characters, and a bit more description of Howth and possible of Dublin itself too. But I really liked this story. Alot.

I'd be interested in hearing what you thought about "Blown to Smithereens" because some of it is set in Dublin, and Liam (one of the main characters) is Irish - but the bits set in Dublin are not uploaded onto the site...

Anyhow. I wish you the best with this and I will back it soon. It's quite good.

- Rena (Bunderful)

Taxi
Hi Paul, I started reading this, on a friend’s recommendation, and was engrossed. Your writing style is direct and unfussy and I was quickly drawn into Danny’s life on the nightshift: the fatigue, monotony, drunks and the constant worry over who you might have sitting in the back seat of your cab. His love of Julia and his excitement over the baby holds him together. Just an ordinary man going about his ordinary life. Then it’s all wrecked and Danny struggles to adjust. Stark and gritty. Am reading more as I have to find out how he survives.
Kat xx
Hens from Hell

Loved the opening chapter of your book, Taxi's.

The dialogue is pure Dublin, well delivered and a pleasure to read.

Your descriptions are just... well, excellent. Particularly liked the cherry blossom para and the Dublin streets para, and the mussels para... shall I go on? Beautiful, for want of any other word.

If I had to nit-pick something it would be the opening paragraph. Why? I would have liked Danny to have been there and then been sick of the sights he was seeing from his taxi. For me, the paragraph starting – Danny switched off his two way radio – would have been a great starting point and orientated a reader much faster.

The men lined up and the taxis lined up was a bit to similar to close together - queue’s not a bad word for variation.

The start of what looks to be a captivating story. One which is going on my watch list to have another read of tomorrow.

Nice write. Great style.

Chpt. 1

Like it so far though I want to stick a bar of soap in Danny's mouth. Anyway, alot about food in this chapter. Maybe I'm just hungry but I thought a bit too much attention was given to what everybody was eating.

Chpt. 1

Okay, I know what I'm suggesting may sound crazy but I think it would be more powerful (and direct) to start with "Nighty night love..." then the paragraph "Danny switched off..." then the two opening paragraphs. After that you have the scene shift and begin with "He flopped into the..." Of course it means cutting out the other two lines of dialogue.

This sounds so exciting! The cover looks great though I wondered how many other books share the same title. Wasn't there a television show called Taxi back in the eighties? On to chapter one...

I wanted to get to Taxi a long time ago and now finally I'm reading it and enjoying greatly. As you said, Paul, it is different from Tribesman, but the fact only proves that you write superbly in different genres, which is commendable. The opening chapter is superb, the images you paint with words in the first paragraphs, the way you describe Julia as Danny watches her, and the elation Danny experiences at the news of Julia's pregnancy - I love this. What a twist in Chapter 2! To tell you the truth I thought the bogey would do something to Danny but it was the three tossers who changed his life forever. I love the way you compared them to three faceless demons. I do hope I'll have the opportunity to read the rest as it's a compelling read. Your manner of writing appeals to me greatly. Good luck to you with it, Paul, and sorry for the delay in comments.

Ivan Amberlake

Quite a book here Read the first chapter and must say it was a page turner. I have rated it well.

Red
Illusions of Comfort

hello paul--Taxi--

After reading the pitch, i had to read this book of yours. With the mention of a Dublin cabbie it was a must read.
wanted to read about his confrontations and his demon of the past.
Death , remorse it certainly is as this thriller hots up almost from the starting gate'
Everything laid out so realistically and the cabbie sets out to do his nights work.
And what a terrifying night it turns out to be,
Read all seven chapters posted and found them all to be gripping and wanted to read more.
all i can say is ' roddy doyle you better look out '
good luck with it .
tom bye
from hugs to kisses'
please read my book about a boy growing up in dublin in the 40s
chapter could be of interest - the bombing of the north strand by the germans-

I knocked out two more chapters today, I suppose I'll be finished tomorrow. Still really enjoying. When I'm done I'll leave some detailed feedback. Danny is awesome!!

Wow, good stuff dude! Really captivating!!! I knew once I read the description that I was gonna be hooked! Good pace and plot. I am gonna start on chapter 4 tomorrow. Is it completely uploaded or is this a work in progress? Please consider reading my book as well, SEVEN DAYS. I've added Taxi to my WL for now.

-JD
(Seven Days)

Read two chapters, and was hooked instantly. A night of driving a cab could be pretty dull stuff, but in your hands, it's actually riveting. I iwll definitely read more of this. I want to know what happens to all these folks.
And by the way, fantastic opening - I could practically smell the street. I'm giving lots of stars and watch listing for now.

I hope you'll make a point of reading Animal Cracker.
Best,
Andi

Hello,

Just found this book at random and was drawn in by the pitch. Before I knew it, I'd rattled through all 7 chapters. Its good writing, never overly florid, but controlled and direct. That makes it easy to read. The only part that dragged a bit for me was when Danny took his missus out for the day, but I can see why that was necessary to establish character and define their relationship.

After that it was all go. The traffic accident and subsequent fallout was well depicted. I liked the shift to Julia's perspective in Chapter 4, that served to round out Danny's character more, establishing traits of individuality that I'm sure will resurface later in the book. Chapter 5 was the standout, again controlled, but vividly conveying the funeral and Danny's thoughts therein.

For me,it ended with a bit of a damp squib on Chapter 7. I know the birth of the kid is pivotal, but I would have preferred it to end on a darker note (because I'm sure its going to go to those places) or some sort of cliffhanger to lure me back in. But I'll probably be back anyway, so you win! And maybe you just haven't written it yet, which is fine.

I spotted a few typos but I'm not too arsed about stuff like that. However, some of the sentences are reeeeallly long. I saw one that was obscenely long and was perversely compelled to count the words. 71! That's practically a novella! That might well be a stylistic choice of yours, but if you just bob a full stop in there once in a while it gives the reader a bit of a breather.

That aside, very good, hope to read more. Backed.

Dave

Dave

Strange how an apparently competent writer can spend his time on rather an unpleasant story.
I noticed no typos, but I only skimmed a few chapters, from mingling urine, to vomit and then a birth, all sprinkled liberally with profanity.

Paul

I read your pitch and knew that this was something I had to read! Excellent opening, just the right amount of background to draw the reader into the story without being too suffocating, excellent easy pace for the first chapter, nothing too flashy, but just enough to gain the avid attention of the reader...
And then comes chapter two...
Holy crap dude! You rock!
This is a great story, the emotions in it are so raw and real, it's unbelievable! The difference between Danny before the accident and then after are shown tremendously, escpecially when he was sitting at the bar, all I could think was..One moment this guy has the world in his hands, and then in the next everything he had, the sense of security he had, has just been snatched away.
I really felt for him having to deal with such a traumatic thing through no real fault of his own, and then of course there is Julia, I felt so sorry for her, trying her best to help the man she loves but against all her best efforts, only seeming to make it worst...brilliant insight into the human psychi under such traumatic situations.
The funeral scene was probably the most powerful scene to me, though the death was earth shattering and raw in emotion, the funeral was truly tragic..what courage to go to the funeral of the girl who died by him, to watch her family, see their pain..to confront the mother...and then face such a reaction.
Her compassion towards him and the anger by the other guests were so contrasting and all I could think was, if this was a real situation, I if were the girls mother and I was to face the man who had taken her awy, would I be so compassionate?
This was my favourite chapter, I thought you handled it extremely well, both the dialogue, the characters reaction, the thoughts and emotions one would go through were they to face something so terrible, all of it.

I think this is a great piece of work, I look forward to seeing where this goes...

Bron
The Endless Awakening