Forever and Always... A True Love Story

This is quite a story. Your narrative voice has made this seem at first glance like a sweet little tale, but there's so much more to it than that. A young girl handling abuse from her grandfather makes the voice stand out. You could so easily have told this in a depressing style, but you didn't you kept this sharp witted teenager together the whole time.
Well worth a spin on the shelf.
I only have one nit, I think she smokes too much! :o)
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George (please take a look, you may like it)

This is great and I would happily read all of this.

Trampus and Trii (short for Trina?) are unusual names but in a way sets it apart of others.

I love how this starts, the meeting, the sighting... perfect of course for love at first sight.

This appears to be edited well and nothing stood out to me.

Jo xx

Spoilt

I like this. So any comments are by way of advice that can probably be ignored.

In that first paragraph the last sentence is redundant. We've just heard her gush, we don't need an explanation. You do this a few times, explain waht you've just shown.

Trampus s a great name though. He was a baddie in the book The Virginian and a goodie in the TV series of the book.

The enthusiasm is infectious but I think I'd like loads more obstacles in the lovers' path.

Good stuff though.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky"

This is quite a story. Your narrative voice has made this seem at first glance like a sweet little tale, but there's so much more to it than that. A young girl handling abuse from her grandfather makes the voice stand out. You could so easily have told this in a depressing style, but you didn't you kept this sharp witted teenager together the whole time.
Well worth a spin on the shelf.
I only have one nit, I think she smokes too much! :o)
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George (please take a look, you may like it)

This is great and I would happily read all of this.

Trampus and Trii (short for Trina?) are unusual names but in a way sets it apart of others.

I love how this starts, the meeting, the sighting... perfect of course for love at first sight.

This appears to be edited well and nothing stood out to me.

Jo xx

Spoilt

I like this. So any comments are by way of advice that can probably be ignored.

In that first paragraph the last sentence is redundant. We've just heard her gush, we don't need an explanation. You do this a few times, explain waht you've just shown.

Trampus s a great name though. He was a baddie in the book The Virginian and a goodie in the TV series of the book.

The enthusiasm is infectious but I think I'd like loads more obstacles in the lovers' path.

Good stuff though.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky"

I accidentally deleted my book, so I re-uploaded it with edits done.