The Vernore Gene

Hi JT, I always restrict my comments to the story and this one works very well. It has an interesting and engaging premise that charms the reader. I found your writing smooth and easy to read.
I'm very happy to give it a bit of time on my shelf.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Hey there :)
I have read and backed your book. This is an interesting read, you have an intriguing storyline, one which will appeal to a wide audience, IMO. You write well, it's easy to read and drew me along. I wish you luck with it.
Bests,
Annabelle P

The Vernore Gene

Hi JT,

An interesting and strange idea with some unusual characters, you start us off quickly enough with a quick-paced scene that I found a little disorientating. Your imagination is great but I struggled in places to work out exactly what was happening. Perhaps a way around this is some sort of prologue that gives us a flash of Jailin's life in the before time. You have obviously gone to a lot of trouble to build this world with its tribes and their lore but I am afraid I didn't find enough emotional engagement in the first chapter, I would want to feel Jailin's plight a little more, perhaps we need a slice of the World Quake action first. I am backing this because the imaginative scope is deeply impressive and the writing is good, I think you just need to work on the story shape. I would welcome your thoughts on my book.

Best wishes and good luck - Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Dear JT,

The Venore Gene is easy to get into, rivetting, earthy, as well as promising a story expanding with imagination.
I warmed to Jailin and want to know more about her and her complex situation.
Compelling read.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

JT
I already backed this but wanted to read more before sending some comments.
Your list of tags is most bizarre, and that is always a good thing, I reckon.
I love the feel of the magical world you have created here. There’s a strong fairy tale feel to it. You tell a delightful tale in a wonderful voice, reminiscent of the days when people told stories out loud, rather than watching them on a screen.
I have nothing to pick that I don’t like. The only suggestions I would give are to tighten the edit a little and to include a link to wherever this self-published book can be bought.
Great work!
David
Green Ore

Hi JT, I always restrict my comments to the story and this one works very well. It has an interesting and engaging premise that charms the reader. I found your writing smooth and easy to read.
I'm very happy to give it a bit of time on my shelf.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

I really enjoyed reading this. We all spend time in "editing hell" to a degree, so I won't comment on that. The story, however, is a marvelous read. I especially enjoyed your pitch, which drew me into the book to begin with. You bring the story and characters to life, and your descriptions are stellar. Shelved with confidence!

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

This is delightfully different to my reading of late. Science fiction is not my genre of choice but the animals won me over! I soon understood the tribal names of your characters and could picture them clearly. Your writing flows well and the story held my interest. This is something I could happily read more of. Meanwhile on my shelf. Margaret.

charming and endearing yet with feeling, a good combination, especially as you avoid sentimentality..

shelved and wishing you well.

freddie
("honour")

I have shelved because this is different. Great writing too, but I liked your premise tremendously. It feels earthy and magical simultaneously and you have some great descriptions. Very evocative.

Hi JT, this has an intriguing premise and pitch, and I'm sure it will do well in your target market. I was little confused about all the characters, but the writing is great and has all the hallmarks of a great read. Shelved.

Hi J.T.

I’ve already backed the book but returned to leave comment. This was an enjoyable read. It grabbed my attention right from the start and kept me glued. Good characterisation and dialogue and a plot that’s worth the read. Good vivid descriptions and pacing. This has great potential and should go far.

Very well written.

Shinzy :)

Hi J.T, this is a poignant premise. You can't help but feel for Jailin's loss, and I like the contrast between the boys saying bad things about her to how comfortable she is talking to the cougar. I think Jane mentioned point of view, which is mostly Jailin's, but does move into the man's briefly. It's handy that she can see into the minds of the animals. Too much POV switching can confuse a reader and weaken dramatic tension. That is my only suggestion. I've already backed this. I'd love it if you'd tell me your thoughts about my book, Black Earth. Cheers, Helen.

Hey there :)
I have read and backed your book. This is an interesting read, you have an intriguing storyline, one which will appeal to a wide audience, IMO. You write well, it's easy to read and drew me along. I wish you luck with it.
Bests,
Annabelle P

OK, back now. This really chimes for me as, although very different, there is some common ground with my own book (which also features a large cat and other animal mentors). I do like your writing very much - it's unpretentious and easy-going and has a sort of pleasing 'fatness' somehow (hard to describe).
My quibbles.
I thought the rush of names in the prologue was a little confusing. Maybe leave this idea of various names for various purposes until later on in the book, when we're more used to the cast.
Chapter One: 'he had on camouflage trousers' is a bit clumsy. Can see you want to avoid a second 'he wore..' How about 'His camouflage pants were topped by a belt.....' or something like that?

When Jailin drops down from the tree onto the man it's a little confusing. Drops down implies she lands on him but I don't think that's what happens. You know exactly what is going on but stand back a little and see it from the reader's eye - at the moment it's quite difficult to follow because there's this three-way conversation going on with Jailin, the cougar and Socrates.
Check your POV. You are pretty much entirely in Jailin's POV which is absolutely right. But you flit out now and again with the man - and that is a little distracting; it slows the pace.
The appearance of the white cat maybe needs a little clarification too....what kind of cat is it? At the moment I'm having this rather incongruous image of a VAST domestic cat and sure that's not what you intend!

Those were what pulled me up when reading but I freely confess I am a very impatient reader and more careful readers might have no problems.
I love your premise and I love Jailin with her team of animals. You've set some great hooks - her parents, the madness, her foster family....it's very sci-fi Jungle Book. You earth it beautifully. I'm not a sci-fi or an adult fantasy fan but I love the feel of this.
As I've already said, I've backed your book (put it on my shelf) and I'm sure you;'ll find lots of fans for this here. Good luck and have fun!
Jane

Hi JT, welcome to Authonomy. I love what you're doing here, your voice is very clear and I can almost feel the world you describe. I'm racing out now but wanted to tell you I really like this and will comment more later. But for now I'm very happy to back this book.
Jane

Oh, btw, it's best to leave comments on comments in the other person's message stream (on right hand side of their page) - otherwise they may not see them....

Hi! :-)

Great story! I would suggest for you to break up the long pitch into several paragraphs to make it easier to read. Another thing was while I was reading the prologue, I got slightly confused with all the names in such a short period of reading. Maybe don't mention the 'official' names in there and wait until a later chapter. You definitely don't have to follow what I suggest, it's just an opinion.

Good luck with your book! Backed.

Thank you for the suggestion. I hadn't noticed it at first and oddly enough the paragraphs were right when I uploaded it. I hope the change helps.

Hi! :-)

Great story! I would suggest for you to break up the long pitch into several paragraphs to make it easier to read. Another thing was while I was reading the prologue, I got slightly confused with all the names in such a short period of reading. Maybe don't mention the 'official' names in there and wait until a later chapter. You definitely don't have to follow what I suggest, it's just an opinion.

Good luck with your book! Backed.