HIT THE ROAD, FRANK

I'm really enjoying this story. The New York thirty years ago setting is very appealing. You convey the atmosphere brilliantly, The White Horse, a fictional pub, when put alongside references to Like a Rolling Stone and Bleeker Street, becomes instantly believable. If it wasn't that the story line is so interesting, even exciting, this could easily be taken for a real-life travel book, because you are really good on detail. Your hook with the snake in the first part works extremely well. I can almost see the stripes, and the blue eyes. Then the plunge back, to introduce us to Robyn, Al, Seamus, and the rest, is completely engrossing. The references to Frank's mother, then the dream about Theresa, Gino, and Julie, create a desire to know more, another great hook. And where did he get all the money? Something else to make me read on. Your style is clear, easy to read, witty, really enjoyable. An excellent book. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I really like the humor and wit in this. The dialogue is well placed to balance out the descriptions. I like the voice, I like the observations, and as a travel junkie I also like the plot. I'm trying to think of something constructive to say that isn't mind numbing praise, but so far no luck! :)

Hi Brian, As asked I read Chapter 10. I left or should I say crawled out of L.A. in 1972, and you've done an exceptional job capturing that jaded rock scene that happened between 1972 and 1974. Well done. It was exactly like that. You mention '74, but when you talk about Stanley's I picture Rodney's English Disco and Rodney who was enamored with anyone English and in an band, or who knew someone in a band. That was exactly the scene, Keith Moon or whoever else happened to be in town, making the rounds at the bars. And the bitter chicks...you have captured that "Are you with the band? Well, if you're not with the band," thing dead on. I enjoyed how you brought roadies into this. When I read my original book just recently I realized I paid far less attention to them in the rewrite of the novel, maybe because I felt that scene was full of so much "use and abuse." The roadies using groupies wanting to meet the band, the groupies using the roadies to meet the band. And the back and forth up Sunset Boulevard is just so how it was then. I read all of chapter 10 and enjoyed every minute. Shelved.

Excellent road novel. A period I am interested in though I dont remember much about that particular year! A time when the world was a freer place, less restrictive but also a time when self -reliance was important and emails and mobiles did not matter because they did not exist. Starred, regards, Mark

Brian,
You create such vivid images with your detailed descriptions in Hit the Road, Frank. I love this type of historical fiction which takes the reader to a time they can remember. Backed with enthusiasm.

HIT THE ROAD, FRANK
This is a good story. I read the first chapter of this (liked it a lot; I would have taken a ride with a crazy woman to get away from a snake too), then umped to chapter 9 when you arrive in Hollywood because I used to live in Pasadena and wondered what you thought of the city. Your descriptions are well done; you have a great knack for “setting up” or fleshing out a character quickly. Serves you well in this type of road story when you meet a lot of people for only short periods of time. Makes this a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

What a fascinating period in history this is. I don't remember it (I was only 6) but you capture the mood and atmosphere so well. Employing a great use of first person, Frank ust seems such a driven character thrown into a strange and intoxicating world. It reminded me partly of a Kerouac novel and partly of a Coeh Brothers movie. Both are huge compliments. I would love to sit by a pool on holiday with this. Both adult, yet accessible, it is is very good.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Love the memoir. Love your voice - just the right amount of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm without being snarky. If you're writing about New York - particularly mid-seventies Big Apple, you kind of need it.

Excellent writing; this should be serialized in Rolling Stone.

BACKED.

And please have a look at my book.

Best of luck.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

Greetings, Brian!

Kudos on Hit the Road, Frank! You incorporate nice, vivid imagery (I keep thinking of Buster Poindexter singing, "Hot, Hot, Hot!"), and your manuscript is professionally formatted. You have a very authentic feel to your writing style, which is injected with just a hint of the abstract. A most unique read! Backed!

Teric Darken

(K - I - L - L FM 100: "Music to Die For!")

Dear Brian Ford,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I skipped to chapter seven to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by the beginning of an adventure, when he lived for a while on meatballs and was regarded as a state threat in Paris because of his jeans. He’s more interest in blues and books than girls, fair enough. You make Julia Grey almost haunting with her perceptive green eyes. No kidding, he is on the right side of the bookie’s window. He has a peek into the happiness shared by Keith and Linda, and it moves him, even though he knows his life must follow a different course.

Your writing style is companionable, but authonomy wasn’t as kind to your formatting. A huge swath of white space hangs at the end of your chapter. Also, you did the same thing I did after first posting: Entering the chapter titles incorrectly. You can go back and update the chapters (don’t delete them), but do delete “Enter your chapter name here”.

Formatting matters aside, I enjoyed your story. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

Chapter 1

HA! Okay, I get it. It's hot in Texas. You wouldn't think anybody would be dumb enough to think Paris was in England, but nothing surprises me in middle America. I'm having a bit of a logistical problem with the snake and being in the crazy woman's car... I dunno..

Al Kooper seems like someone I should know about...I like your dialogue and the narrative is pretty damn witty too. Don't know if I like the 'going backwards in time' format, but I'm giving it a whirl. Something different, right? Irish when it suits him... I like that line.

Anyway, I could go on and on. The narrative meanders, but there's always something interesting to glom from it. I dig the idea of a fish outta water rubbernecking wide-eyed lone traveller, meeting people and having adventures, drinking whiskey and getting by on his wits. (It's BLARNEY Stone, by the way, not BARNEY Stone, and they're all over New York City.) Frank has got an easy going demeanor. I'd have a drink with him.

Cheers

John

How could I resist this? Such a cool title! Luv the cover too.
Can see this on my actual bookshelf upon publication. Such a fascinating period. Well constructed and entertainingly presented.

"Paris, France, is in England?" Ahaha, reminds me of a friend of mine from Pennsylvania. I love these type of books, road trips, journeys of the mind and body. Well-written and evocative. This is the type of book I would buy. Backed.

This is an interesting read, especially New York in the 1970'd -shelved

That's a long first chapter. I'd put all the Texas stuff into a prologue and start chapter 1 in New York. I like your descriptive segments, but possibly more dialogue would improve the flow between them.

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

This is great, Brian - love it. Backed it! You might enjoy my Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys, if you get a chance. Best regards, Barry

At first I wasn't sure about the jumps back in time, but it really worked. I got sucked into the story quickly. The
Al Kooper story has the feel of the real thing. Did this actually happen to you? If not you've got a great imagination. The outsider's impression of America is always interesting to Americans I think, though for me, a New Englander, Texas or New York would be just as foreign as to Frank. You hint with the right amount of subtlety that Frank has something in his past, something about the money in his belt, that he's running from. Nicely done. I like this story. One thing to watch out for, if it's 74, are the small things. Did they sell bottled water in the US in 74? I don't remeber, but then I was all of 14 at the time.

Brian, terrific sense of time and place. Highly interesting Village characters. Easy to read and very witty. I loved the lines; ...the NY City me that is, the street smart butterfly that emerges when you trade the Piccadilly line for the D train; and ...boredom is the ultimate sin in this city, maybe the only one. Honestly Brian, I liked the entire C1, but the beginning -- the ride in Texas with the crazy woman -- can't touch what comes after it. I don't know, maybe that ties in with story later. Terrific work otherwise. Backed.
Thomas J. Wilnton (Beyond Nostalgia)

Hi, Brian. The pitch is very well done in my opinion. Gives us an excellent idea of what to expect.
Great opening for the book. Sets the tone and made me want to continue. Very nice writing in my opinion and the story develops along very well. The characters are vivid, and your descriptive work is excellent. Quite a journey set out for Frank. Hopefully this will shoulder aside some of the fantasy and vampires and find it's way to to top. I think it deserves notice. On my shelf and the best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Hi, Brian. The pitch is very well done in my opinion. Gives us an excellent idea of what to expect.
Great opening for the book. Sets the tone and made me want to continue. Very nice writing in my opinion and the story develops along very well. The characters are vivid, and your descriptive work is excellent. Quite a journey set out for Frank. Hopefully this will shoulder aside some of the fantasy and vampires and find it's way to to top. I think it deserves notice. On my shelf and the best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

There's some very good description and scene-setting in ch 1. We know where we are.... Frank's internal morphology (his concerns, wishes, hopes, fears) is not immediately present, so there is a sense of seeing the world through camera eyes, rather than human eyes. I have no doubt this will be done in later chapters, which I will read, but for now, shelved.
Frank

Hi Brian this is really original writing, you are a master of words. It seems like you write in streams of consciousness, as if you are the character and are just writing as you see it and it works really well and makes the story very believable. Your descriptions are great and i can imagine the places you talk about. Well written and a little different, I like something a bit off key. On my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Hi Brian,

I really enjoyed reading this story. You've captured the New York of thirty years ago perfectly. Your writing is excellent too. I woud definitely buy Hit the road, Frank, if I saw it in a book store. Backed.

Carol

I'm really enjoying this story. The New York thirty years ago setting is very appealing. You convey the atmosphere brilliantly, The White Horse, a fictional pub, when put alongside references to Like a Rolling Stone and Bleeker Street, becomes instantly believable. If it wasn't that the story line is so interesting, even exciting, this could easily be taken for a real-life travel book, because you are really good on detail. Your hook with the snake in the first part works extremely well. I can almost see the stripes, and the blue eyes. Then the plunge back, to introduce us to Robyn, Al, Seamus, and the rest, is completely engrossing. The references to Frank's mother, then the dream about Theresa, Gino, and Julie, create a desire to know more, another great hook. And where did he get all the money? Something else to make me read on. Your style is clear, easy to read, witty, really enjoyable. An excellent book. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I read your first two chapters and overall liked the chararacters and how you paint the scene. You use all five senses (hot sun, smell of bacon, etc) and that provides me with a well rounded picture. I'm able to fully participate in the story because I see what the character does. My only hesitation was the opening. I never got a good picture of the main character - far more details about the woman driver were provider. As such I felt distanced from "I" because I wasn't really sure about the person talking (male/female, age, build) and was filling in a few blanks on my own. But that said, once this got going it was a page turner -- I shall now go and read chapter 3. Best of luck to you.

I am backing this because I believe it is genuine quality writing, and I'm impressed. If you'd like a few details, message me. I'm sorry to say my time is not my own, what with 125 students in my charge and twin granddaughters only a year old but so lovely they already can get me to do anything they want.

I hope you get to the ED soon, if that is your wish.

Bill

Hello Brian - well, I'll be a sonovabitch! I read the first chapter on the basis that I used to hitchhike around Europe in the 70s and 80s and kept a diary about my adventures so I find your story just as rich as my experiences were. Very nostalgic for me and has inspired me to get those dozen or so diaries out. It's about time somebody did something like this. Kerouac was all very well - as much as I admire his work - but he had his own car most of the time and travelled with companions, which I think - if you'll pardon the irony - that makes hims trips kind of - well - pedestrian in comparison to REAL stick your thumb out hitchhikers (and he always went home to mother). Still, it's good to see someone keeping up the seemingly now dead tradition of hitting the road. Wanna swap reads? - Chris1 (WW2 war novel 'The Partisan'. I've WLed yours till later. Be in touch

Your writing is grand. The imagery conjured up is a delight. I can almost feel the heat myself. There is some great prose within this MS and I fel that with some editing it could be a real hum dinger.
The things that drew me away was the long sentences. T here were a couple that really should be broken down. One is right near the beginning.
The lengthy paragraphs, there are some really long para's here.
Your writing is so natural that it is easy to become swept up in the story you are telling.
This is great, a go where the wind takes you, sort of novel that I honestly would read if it was published.
If I were you I would lose the caps in the short and long pitches. Not necessary and very shocking to the eye. ;)
Backed.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Do you keep a notebook with you at all times and jot down conversations? Just wondering because you have one of the best ears for dialogue I've come across here. This does read like a true life memoir and I'd bet you have experienced most of this?
So many things I could mention that I loved. 'Paris France is in England?' is priceless (and i know just what you mean - I had someone roll their eyes and lump Massachusetts and England together as 'out east').
Yes, to vacation v holiday (holiday sounds SO silly).
Present tense tends to bug me but you pull it off well and it works.
My only real quibble is the opening. It's hugely strong but I got confused as to the time scale with the woman and the snake (I do read fast but went back a few times and it still was a little unclear. Obviously they're separate incidents but they merge a bit). I also felt like I was in a time machine as you go back, then back a bit more, then back yet more.
Small quibbles though. Love your writing. Love tales of America told by the English (I love the place but it is SO very strange sometimes).
Backing with great pleasure
Jane
WALKER

The cover is great. The second sentence lost me a bit -- could be the cold or it could be slang.
Overall, it's engaging enough that if it were published, I'd probably pick it up and drag it around until I was finished.

Neliza Drew

The English view on true Americana is very in vogue...Jamie Oliver got a shock ,when after years of visiting he ventured away from cosmo NY...and Mr Cohen has made a fortune from the bible belt and deep south.
This was good stuff.
Backed.

Brian
I stayed with chapter one.....

She left me with the midday sun (this is a sentence with over 50 words, I think it needs a break)

'had' left me standing
'had' slept late
so I 'had' felt a little uneasy at the airport.

You dont need 'had' in either case, there were quite a few other instances but I didn't note them, as you may not agree...Do a word check.

I felt an immediate affiliation towards Shannon & Robyn, your profile was short, sharp and to the point....I liked that.....

Sat August 3rd 1974, Texas and New York City, 3 weeks earlier.........I think should be in a larger font, to stand out....I missed the New York heading...(my own fault I know)......At least am admitting it....

Your MC is a well crafted character, one which I'm sure the reader will look forward to getting to know better as the story moves on.

I enjoyed this.....on my shelf...

I like witty anecdotes, and this book as one big collection of them. I love a British outtake on the world, cynical, but still slightly polite, it makes for very very chucklesome humour. It is very well written in a conversational way that allowed me to sink in and join you on your travels. Very well done!

Andrew

pitch – would suggest getting rid of the capitals, looks like you’re SHOUTING – but sounds like it’ll be a great read... i’m a big country music fan, so it’s bound to be a hit with me.

road trip – excellent stuff... am happy already – and brilliant voice, back and forth through the story – disjointed narrative adds massive value here.

al and the womble suit & fuck off t-shirt... very funny stuff here... and some great wry observations – “i love a map, and even if i didn’t, i think i would have absorbed a reasonable geography of the united states purely from musical and celluloid osmosis”.

i can’t fault this – it’s a book i’d buy – brilliant stuff and on my shelf.

freddie
("honour")

I like this humor and the road trip idea is always a good premise. The pitch - maybe lower case might be a little easier on the eye? Easy writing style and lots of great observation from a fascinating MC. Shelved, no problem

Hi Brian, A vicarious pleasure, this kind of traveling without a definite destination. And the exploring aspect of it. It’s so interesting to read the observations on America and while Frank understands how people view him, especially since this is probably intended more for a British reader. I remember well those times but they were all in the newspaper for me then. This is very well written and droll. The characters he meets and the streets in New York, the heat in Texas, the woman’s mangled mind – very enjoyable. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

This was a delightful and enjoyable read--something everyone should take with them on a road trip. Very well written with vivid descriptions and the dialogue so alive. Shelved with pure pleasure.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Brian, your writing is tight, concise and humorous. I love the story line and its whackiness (good!). All of your facts regarding D-Day are precise. Your timing is right on - I don't think I would change a thing - You do have a winner here, and I will certainly buy it when it is published!

Backed.

Kindest Regards,

Mary
EVENSONG

Hi Brian, As asked I read Chapter 10. I left or should I say crawled out of L.A. in 1972, and you've done an exceptional job capturing that jaded rock scene that happened between 1972 and 1974. Well done. It was exactly like that. You mention '74, but when you talk about Stanley's I picture Rodney's English Disco and Rodney who was enamored with anyone English and in an band, or who knew someone in a band. That was exactly the scene, Keith Moon or whoever else happened to be in town, making the rounds at the bars. And the bitter chicks...you have captured that "Are you with the band? Well, if you're not with the band," thing dead on. I enjoyed how you brought roadies into this. When I read my original book just recently I realized I paid far less attention to them in the rewrite of the novel, maybe because I felt that scene was full of so much "use and abuse." The roadies using groupies wanting to meet the band, the groupies using the roadies to meet the band. And the back and forth up Sunset Boulevard is just so how it was then. I read all of chapter 10 and enjoyed every minute. Shelved.

Back to the days when hitching was relatively safe (for both the hitcher and the driver!), this is a very pleasant journey through the miles and the years. You've invented some very colourful characters, each a cameo in itself, and the touches of humour make this a most enjoyable read. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes, Tony.

Really great stuff, well written, fast paced and funny. I read the first one and then went to chapter 6 which is equally good. I must say though, that your chapters are just too long. Especially for reading on-line which a lot of us older folks find difficult. I think both section 1 and 6 could be cut in half for this particular website.

But, never mind. It's good. Oh, yes, it's very good and I'm backing it.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

Excellent start. I love the Crazy woman, and the snake.
perfect description.
On my shelf to read some more.
Best of luck with it.............Mikey (The Free)

Hit the road Frank

Well I don't think I am going to hitch hike any time soon. Especially with a large lady who has a gun. This was a well paced bit of humor. Makes me want to younger with less responsibilities. Pick up and take off. Back for the enjoyment of it. C.P

Brian,

This is a real roller-coaster of a book. I love your prose - it flows smoothly and moves the story on with a deft mix of dialogue, description and exposition. It's good to mention Watergate, etc. This sets the era of the story very firmly and realistically.

And I love the first person present tense, as you already know. You handle this with skill. However, once or twice there was a lapse into past tense in an otherwise present tense paragraph. "I looked out the window to see the city . . ."
". . . I felt like I was seventeen . . ." both in the same paragraph that begins: "Sounds OK to me." And then "We cross the city . . ." Of course, you may have a reason for doing this.

And several times I noticed the ommission of a comma: You're from London, comma, Frank,
It's all right, comma, John. And a comma missing after Mr Personality.

Although you break up chapter one with line breaks, I think it could easily be broken up into two distinct chapters. (In my book, Pinpoint, it looks as though I am guilty of the same fault. Because of the Authonomy set-up, my myriad short separate chapters have been lumped together into the days of the week, making them a pretty long chunk of reading. But in the original form, the one I would submit to a publisher, those sections are in fact separate chapters, starting on a new page in every case, within the boundary of the day of the week. In a thriller format a new scene and a new p.o.v. demand to have a new chapter. I'm not sure what format you should use with your novel, but a shortening of one kind or another is necessary.

The only tiny little jarring notes were: bye-or-leave. Should this not be by-your-leave?
and
". . . laying in wait . . ." I think this should be "lying in wait."

These are very minor points, which you would undoubtedly have picked up on your next edit. Overall, I found it to be an enthralling read, an informative read too, because your descriptions of New York are so vivid that I thought I was right there with you.

Shelved, with my very best wishes.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

I really like the humor and wit in this. The dialogue is well placed to balance out the descriptions. I like the voice, I like the observations, and as a travel junkie I also like the plot. I'm trying to think of something constructive to say that isn't mind numbing praise, but so far no luck! :)

My son spent most of last year on a similar road trip, so I must show him your excellent book which, in parts, resemble his frequent emails to me. But this has real style, and the dialogue, in particular, really drives the story onwards. Clearly this is semi-autobiographical, but I believe that is its strength because it feels real, and I sense your confidence with the subject matter. Very pleased to put this on my shelf. Best wishes, Tony.

This is something I'd like to see go far on the rankings. On my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

hI,
i read your first chapter. It was quite long, but i still enjoyed it.
Your story is good and your writing is enjoyable.
I would like to see this climb the charts. On my shelf.

Regards,

Mark H

I read the first chapter and man this thing was long. The first chapter in any book should be short to draw in your reader unless it's Russian literature. There is good stuff here for sure.

Some of the paragraphs were way too long as well. Slows down the pace of the read and because of it,
possibly interest. Then again, that could be me.

You should not use all caps for your pitches.

I liked the story; kinda reminded me of Midnight Cowboy, in that whole timeframe. SHELVED!

I do look forward to your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

Hit the Road Frank is a fun read. I know that 1974 was a free and easy time, but I'm not sure though that writing in that style does you any favours and skipping about in time and place made me work harder than I enjoy to keep up with you. I'd also lose the snake in C1! But there's something about this story that I really liked, so I'm backing it for its potential to become great. All the best.

I went to chapter 10 first, as you request, although chapter 10 on authonomy is listed in your manuscript as chapter 8, so I was a bit confused. Either way, I can tell you that you are on to something here. What makes it work is that Frank is a Brit, so he can look at American in 1974 from a step or two back. That provides for some perspective, humor and a new way of looking at things.

I find myself wondering just how much of this is your own personal story and how much is pure fiction. Not that it matters that much. I was prepared, from your pitch, for a kind of Jack Kerouac 'On The Road" book, but this is much better. I know it is not politically correct to say so, but I have never cared much for Kerouac and h is brand of irresponsibility-passed-off-as-literature. Frank may be a bit of a drifter, but he is not mean. He is an observer and that is what I like here. Your writing is clean, no unnecessarily long scenery descriptions, and you get to the point quickly, which is welcome. Dialogue is true to each character. Shelved.

Brian,
Notes on HtRF:
"...still talking nine to the dozen to whoever she was talking to..." means what? a bit confusing to read as well even if you do mean talking
I'm not sure I get the solo snake line. Breaks the pace in a way that I don't know is effective? Could just be me.
I think its the huge gaps in your spacing for Authonomy that is throwing me with this. Might want to give it another try to make them the single/double space they probably are.
I wish hitchhiking never went out of fashion.
Call me what you want but don't call me late for dinner ...1970s all the way.
"You'll have to wait until Leo Sawyer comes to town..." has a 1 at the beginning of it. Might want to delete that.
I would've loved to have been there to see MJHurt too.
This is all so romantic. Days I can relate to and my travels were somewhat similar to...although without the 70s and the hitchhiking.
Best of luck to you.
-=Bradley

Hi Brian. I read the first chapter and enjoyed your writing. It's slightly manic and catches the attention. I think you could strengthen your pitch (there's a typo in the shorter one) to include some of the highlights from the book so we've got plenty of reasons to read on. Good luck with this. Clare.

Brian,
Is this fiction or memoir? A travel story told in lyrics of the 60s. I'm tired of reading the first two chapters so I skipped right to Chapter 10. I was there same time, same place. My brother and I drove from El Paso and slept on Malibu beach when Nixon resigned. But I couldn't possibly remember all the details, names and all. How did you do it? Kookie, Kookie lend me your comb. You brought back a lot of great memories.This is a fun read for us oldies. Good luck with it.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge