Book Jacket

 

rank 5468
word count 12583
date submitted 23.09.2009
date updated 27.09.2009
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Romance,...
classification: universal
incomplete

Tank

Johnny Aristotle

Meet Tank. Tank meets hooker. Hooker teaches Tank ancient Chinese technique. Tank saves world.

 

This is purely experimental, but you get the idea from the first two chapters. I didn't bother uploading anymore because, frankly, two chapters is enough. All comments are appreciated.

 
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tags

god, love, suffering, time-travel

on 5 watchlists

13 comments

 

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Battle Knyght wrote 955 days ago

Rich poetic narritive that moves at a fast pace to enhance the story and create the scenes.
The pace is too fast, some of the poetic narrative is lost in the reading.
Stay with it.
I am attempting same in a horror story.
New sub genre: poetic novels?
Backed it

JohnRL1029 wrote 961 days ago

I know editors today hate huge paragraphs, but each one is filled with beautiful writing. You have a way with words. Shelved.

shaun othen wrote 963 days ago

There's a real quality to your writing.
Never read aything quite like it.
First chapter is beautiful.
Loses the flow in the second. Uneccessary tangents.
Experiment some more.
Cheers
Shaun
Excerpts from the everyday unknown

Cellardoor wrote 965 days ago

This is so out there. Brave, epic, exquisite. I truly enjoyed it so far and would love to read a little more.

M

Primrose Hill wrote 965 days ago

Welcome to Authonomy. What a relief to find some genuine experimentation on here. Read 1 and 2, and hope you will post some more.
Why am I reminded of a film by Wim Wenders?And the punctuation is like Saramago. Drop me a message if you upload more, please.
Meanwhile, backed, because I'd like it to get more attention. Julia. Sea of Straw.

PS. 1 typo - 'shield'

T.L Tyson wrote 966 days ago

It is the rules that 'writers' force upon themselves that makes the world such a boring place.
People often forget that the written word is a work of art, and as we know anything goes with art. Even smearing shit on a piece of paper. that sounds bad. I was in no way calling this shit, I was saying, that people won't get it. It is a form of abstract art and they wont get the tangent, urgency in the first chapter. They will see a run on sentence. And that to me is sad because it is mind numbingly beautiful.
I agree with Daisy. more would be nice. It is gritty and dirty, yet gorgeous and bleak, and mad. It truly is mad.
In the first chapter I picked out lines that made my stomach flutter: A blur of color on a colorless night. Splintered by the blood of heaven and the electric halos of light. His boots splashing the muckholes of God. Quivering organization of chaos. Playing only the sorrow of piano keys dancing along the raindrops. All our sins melt and bleed away.
I will shelve this. Different is a grand thing. there is far too little different in this world.
T.L Tyson

CDV wrote 967 days ago

Chapter 3 seems to have some issues. It says "text filler" about a zillion times and that's it. Don't know if the problem is on my end or Authonomy's. I'm a little confused as to what is going on in chapters 1 & 2, but intrigued. It seems so well-written, deep. The Jesus-figure in chapter 1, who gets hit by the car and then everything, including the dent in the car, changes back to pristine condition, left me wondering if this is fantasy instead of literary. I'm going to back it anyway because I love fantasy. And the slight confusion I'm feeling is what's making me want to read more because I want to find out what the bleep is going on.

TheLoriC wrote 967 days ago

A little more work on your pitch will really highlight this story; what I have read so far has been innovative and fascinating. This book needs more exposure, so it gets a spot on my shelf!

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Daisy Anne Gree wrote 968 days ago

Extraordinary. I want more.
Shelved.

Garalt Canton wrote 968 days ago

I think I cried at the third chapter....it touched me, you know?

If you upload just a likkle more I may even back this book.

I like courageousness, poetry and uncompromising paragraphs that say: "That's right, baby. No Jack and Jill dialogue....still wanna read on?"

Answer: Yes

It's only pretentious if it doesn't 'live' on its own merits and Tank lives.

Kim Jewell wrote 968 days ago

Hi Johnny!

I dove into the first chapter and scratched my head trying to find the first period, wondering when I could take a breather... Then I forgot all about it, getting completely absorbed by your words. I'm not sure, but I think I really did hold my breath as I lost myself in this. It's brilliant.

Second chapter, also very engaging, mystical, chaotic. I like the break in the middle, with the shorter prose. Gave my mind a chance to clear and relax before plunging back in.

Third chapter, well... I found it a tad repetitious. (Ha! I know why it's there, just kidding! I get it.) This is really good. Let me know if/when you upload more. I'm happy to back it!

Kim
Invisible Justice

soutexmex wrote 968 days ago

Poppet backed it so I'm backing it because I know her talent for finding good writing. SHELVED!

I could use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

shewritesromance wrote 968 days ago

Is bathetic a pun, or is it meant to be pathetic?

Hmmmm...well...um...er...

This is either written over my head, or it is quite a load of rubbish. I'm thinking the former. Brilliantly bad, most likely. Or maybe I just don't "get" it because I'm a woman ;)

Good luck

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