Tank

Rich poetic narritive that moves at a fast pace to enhance the story and create the scenes.
The pace is too fast, some of the poetic narrative is lost in the reading.
Stay with it.
I am attempting same in a horror story.
New sub genre: poetic novels?
Backed it

I know editors today hate huge paragraphs, but each one is filled with beautiful writing. You have a way with words. Shelved.

There's a real quality to your writing.
Never read aything quite like it.
First chapter is beautiful.
Loses the flow in the second. Uneccessary tangents.
Experiment some more.
Cheers
Shaun
Excerpts from the everyday unknown

This is so out there. Brave, epic, exquisite. I truly enjoyed it so far and would love to read a little more.

M

Welcome to Authonomy. What a relief to find some genuine experimentation on here. Read 1 and 2, and hope you will post some more.
Why am I reminded of a film by Wim Wenders?And the punctuation is like Saramago. Drop me a message if you upload more, please.
Meanwhile, backed, because I'd like it to get more attention. Julia. Sea of Straw.

PS. 1 typo - 'shield'

It is the rules that 'writers' force upon themselves that makes the world such a boring place.
People often forget that the written word is a work of art, and as we know anything goes with art. Even smearing shit on a piece of paper. that sounds bad. I was in no way calling this shit, I was saying, that people won't get it. It is a form of abstract art and they wont get the tangent, urgency in the first chapter. They will see a run on sentence. And that to me is sad because it is mind numbingly beautiful.
I agree with Daisy. more would be nice. It is gritty and dirty, yet gorgeous and bleak, and mad. It truly is mad.
In the first chapter I picked out lines that made my stomach flutter: A blur of color on a colorless night. Splintered by the blood of heaven and the electric halos of light. His boots splashing the muckholes of God. Quivering organization of chaos. Playing only the sorrow of piano keys dancing along the raindrops. All our sins melt and bleed away.
I will shelve this. Different is a grand thing. there is far too little different in this world.
T.L Tyson

Chapter 3 seems to have some issues. It says "text filler" about a zillion times and that's it. Don't know if the problem is on my end or Authonomy's. I'm a little confused as to what is going on in chapters 1 & 2, but intrigued. It seems so well-written, deep. The Jesus-figure in chapter 1, who gets hit by the car and then everything, including the dent in the car, changes back to pristine condition, left me wondering if this is fantasy instead of literary. I'm going to back it anyway because I love fantasy. And the slight confusion I'm feeling is what's making me want to read more because I want to find out what the bleep is going on.

A little more work on your pitch will really highlight this story; what I have read so far has been innovative and fascinating. This book needs more exposure, so it gets a spot on my shelf!

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Extraordinary. I want more.
Shelved.

I think I cried at the third chapter....it touched me, you know?

If you upload just a likkle more I may even back this book.

I like courageousness, poetry and uncompromising paragraphs that say: "That's right, baby. No Jack and Jill dialogue....still wanna read on?"

Answer: Yes

It's only pretentious if it doesn't 'live' on its own merits and Tank lives.

Hi Johnny!

I dove into the first chapter and scratched my head trying to find the first period, wondering when I could take a breather... Then I forgot all about it, getting completely absorbed by your words. I'm not sure, but I think I really did hold my breath as I lost myself in this. It's brilliant.

Second chapter, also very engaging, mystical, chaotic. I like the break in the middle, with the shorter prose. Gave my mind a chance to clear and relax before plunging back in.

Third chapter, well... I found it a tad repetitious. (Ha! I know why it's there, just kidding! I get it.) This is really good. Let me know if/when you upload more. I'm happy to back it!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Poppet backed it so I'm backing it because I know her talent for finding good writing. SHELVED!

I could use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

Is bathetic a pun, or is it meant to be pathetic?

Hmmmm...well...um...er...

This is either written over my head, or it is quite a load of rubbish. I'm thinking the former. Brilliantly bad, most likely. Or maybe I just don't "get" it because I'm a woman ;)

Good luck