Diary of a Battle Knyght

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character. I also like your use of Old English and the first person narrative voice. The pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

A cerebral journey into another age, linked to the present one. This is very well done, and although I had to scrounge for meanings now and again, I found the whole enthralling. I can easily see this on a stage. Well done! Backed with pleasure.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

It’s late but I’ll try to do a few chapters in this reading, more soon.
I will only comment on content and flow.
Introduction/Prologue: Personally I hate them (but I use one in one of my books…lol). I see where yours serves a purpose.
Merlin’s Return. Well crafted though the archaisms make it harder to get the full impact (I needed 2 reads).
Breakfast Talk: Merlin sounds more friendly then the overbearing personality I would have expected. Nicely done. (Still 2 reads to get it…not fully).
The mix of phonetically spelling some old English and wordsmithing would make it a tough read your you average reader.
I’m over my head.
If nothing else, your effort deserves a backing.

Battle Knyght:


"Silent Storm" is a totally different story, with a totally different message.

Ida L. (Silent Storm)

My story's land has two moons too. This is not your usual authonomy fare by any stretch of the imagination. I am not sure who your intended audience is though I did enjoy the puzzle of discerning the story. The idea that DNA transfers memory is an intriguing one. I have no idea if your grammar and syntax are correct. You have a spelling of beautiful at the start with two lls but that might be deliberate!
Rgards,
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

#4 backed :)

Brian. A confused garble of random thoughts makes up your introduction to this piece - all in garish italics making it unappealing to read. Not only is it largely incoherent, failing to add anything to the piece but your Madras note is woeful and has no place at all in any credible piece of writing that would claim to be in the genre of fiction.

Moreover, the standard of your English is atrocious for one with a PhD. You should take a look at that (maybe take a night class?)

I simply could not bear to read on because time is short, I am not a patient editor and there is a lot to get through on authonomy.

Ironically, in your long pitch you speak of "This dairy of events". I couldn't really have described it better myself.

Sorry if this sounds harsh. But if you want to become an author then please look at the works of people who have honed their craft. I've no doubt you have talent but nobody is going to take you seriously if you present your work in a way that is, frankly, lazy.

If you struggle with spellings you should consult a dictionary/thesaurus.

This may have been a decent book - but it is a dodo after the pitch and intro.

This sound so ancient. I imagined you writing it by candle light, with a quill and long robe. How delightful. What a thing to master. Should be on a rolled up scroll. On my shelf C.P

This is quite extraordinary writing and read aloud extremely impressive. It is a pity that when enlarged to the font that I find easiest to read, the lines are broken up, but that is a detail. I was busy jotting down typos in the intoductory chapter, maybe however these were deliberate to prepare the reader for the 'old English' to follow. I have to back this for its very brave originality.
BADD

Hi Brian, I really am not qualified to comment on your writing, simply because I find it a lot of work to decipher, but I loved your idea and the pitch grabbed me. It makes one think about spirituality and self, is there such a thing as a soul or a life force that lives on after the body dies, hanging around waiting to be recycled. I am not being critical of you here, I admire what you are trying to achieve. Perhaps you could do a translated version for plebs like me that would like to read your story. Paul.