Life on the estate

Not the era I grew up in but is simply delightful to read.
I love non-fiction and this did not disappoint. It is filled with a superb writing style that is captivating and nostalgic.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Thank you Felicity, I appreciate your comment and backing, glad you enjoyed it!

This brings back memories and is charming - well done.

This brings back memories and is charming - well done.

You have really captured the feel of living on an estate such as this and I enjoy your style of writing. I would really love more dialogue, as you do have a knack of putting the accents into prose and at times this is very funny. Good luck. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

Thank you Kiran, appreciate your backing, comments and editing! I will certainly put those in (and out!). I have read it so many times, but sometimes you just can't see what you should be seeing, only what you think you can see and extra eyes are always very welcome. Glad you enjoyed it and had some memories brought to mind too. Well done for your book too, good luck x

Jacqui,
this is an enthralling story. It captivates you from the word go. I love the way you describe things- i can picture exactly what you mean. The story is very funny as well in parts- hiding the mannequin in your uncle's bed etc. Growing up in the British system too, I can totally relate to many of the stories you mention- playing rounders, cricket, the Queen's Jubilee etc. This is wonderful. I wish you the best of luck with this.
Backed.
regards,
Kiran
(Squash Diary)

P.S. There are a few minor grammatical errors I spotted: ()=insert []=delete
but we (couldn't) afford to go
(") she shot off faster than a bullet"
we all trudged off to our bed room[thinking] (reveling) in the trick....

Jacqui,
this is an enthralling story. It captivates you from the word go. I love the way you describe things- i can picture exactly what you mean. The story is very funny as well in parts- hiding the mannequin in your uncle's bed etc. Growing up in the British system too, I can totally relate to many of the stories you mention- playing rounders, cricket, the Queen's Jubilee etc. This is wonderful. I wish you the best of luck with this.
Backed.
regards,
Kiran
(Squash Diary)

P.S. There are a few minor grammatical errors I spotted: ()=insert []=delete
but we (couldn't) afford to go
(") she shot off faster than a bullet"
we all trudged off to our bed room[thinking] (reveling) in the trick....

Jacqui,
This is really an engaging read. I have read some chapters here and there and like it, although I might prefer a little less telling and a little more dialogue. It is good anyhow and I will put it on my shelf when you have commented or backed my book (or both). That's a promise.
Nillan
Blue-eyed in Luhya-land

Thank you Gail for the comment and backing, much appreciated. I am glad you liked it! There are so many good books on here, I love reading so many of them. I promise to have a look at your entry too. Hope you carry on enjoying the site, good luck, and thanks again, Jacqui x

what a super read ... i could hear it ... the tone and accent and style ... being from southern california this is a treat ... im way too old to be out surfing ... so now im trying to write and admire any one with real talent ... i just spout off whatever runs through my mind ... and im amazed read so many good works ... im also surprised i havent heard anyone mention Anthony Powell's great book DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME ... it is the most beautifully written book ive ever read .. i hope your work will be noticed ... i really liked the sound of it and will back it for sure ... im so new at this i dont know how to work the buttons or what ever ... ill learn and best wishes ... i think you are a pretty hotsy totsy writer ... go girl.... gail boone

Thank you BJ, I appreciate your comments and for reading the story, I'm glad you liked it. I was just singing Black is Black again - I still know it virtually word for word since having to hear it so many times when younger! We were certainly always rivals! Thank you again, Jacqui

I read your chapter 6 at random. Your style of writing is very simple and quiant - I mean that in a nice way. I was able to follow the flow of the story even reading out of context - and now I want to download Black is Black for my I-pod. The "accident" at the end was a little surprising, but rivalry is what it is. Honest reactions and repurcussions. Best of luck in continuing to tell your story.

Thank you Isobel - I am so pleased you liked it - and not condescending at all, if I have helped you then fantastic - I am really pleased for you. Do let me know what did it for you! It is being edited and edited again constantly really and know some bits aren't quite right at the moment - its still very much a work in progress.... I am also delighted that you could relate to it so well not being from over here, and did wonder before if it would be limited by the fact of its Britishness, which I feel you did help to dispell. Let me know when your changes are done and I would be delighted to read your story! Good luck with it, best wishes, Jacqui

I loved this! It was fascinating to read about a poor girl's growing pains across the great pond, and you wrote about it with such a delightful flair and charm, that I read all eight chapters in one sitting. You have a wonderful gift for storytelling and for putting your thoughts on paper, making your mental images and dialogue come alive for the reader. I felt as though I was sitting across from you listening to the most titillating tidbits in your life over a cup of coffee (well, maybe a cup of tea for you :). Your colloquialisms and British humor added significantly to the flavor of your story.

At the risk of sounding condecending, it was while reading your story that the light bulb went on. I finally realized what I needed to do to make my story come alive. Thank you for that.

I wouldn't change any of the details in your manuscript. My only suggestion is that perhaps you might review your paragraphs for thoughts that don't go together. Other than that, I found this to be an engaging, entertaining, and delectable read and will remember it as the story that saved Isabel's book.

The best of luck ~
Isabel

I loved this! It was fascinating to read about a poor girl's growing pains across the great pond, and you wrote about it with such a delightful flair and charm, that I read all eight chapters in one sitting. You have a wonderful gift for storytelling and for putting your thoughts on paper, making your mental images and dialogue come alive for the reader. I felt as though I was sitting across from you listening to the most titillating tidbits in your life over a cup of coffee (well, maybe a cup of tea for you :). Your colloquialisms and British humor added significantly to the flavor of your story.

At the risk of sounding condecending, it was while reading your story that the light bulb went on. I finally realized what I needed to do to make my story come alive. Thank you for that.

I wouldn't change any of the details in your manuscript. My only suggestion is that perhaps you might review your paragraphs for thoughts that don't go together. Other than that, I found this to be an engaging, entertaining, and delectable read and will remember it as the story that saved Isabel's book.

The best of luck ~
Isabel

I read your chapter 6 at random. Your style of writing is very simple and quiant - I mean that in a nice way. I was able to follow the flow of the story even reading out of context - and now I want to download Black is Black for my I-pod. The "accident" at the end was a little surprising, but rivalry is what it is. Honest reactions and repurcussions. Best of luck in continuing to tell your story.

Thank you very much for the backing and comment, really appreciate it, and yes it is definately a work in progress! Getting there I hope and comments really do help to do that. Thank you again, Jacqui x

I think this has a charm and an honesty that is appealing, but it needs to be edited. You have hit on an interesting period in British culture. Happy to back it.

I think this has a charm and an honesty that is appealing, but it needs to be edited. You have hit on an interesting period in British culture. Happy to back it.

I am so sorry CP for missing this on the news, I was off line for a bit being unwell and thought I had caught up - but obviously not as well as I had thought I had! Just put yours on my list and promise to read tonight. Many many thanks for your comments and backing, really appreciate it, and will certainly bear in mind more scene, thank you again, Jacqui x

A story that is bound to make the reader smile. It's depiction of family and life are a window into another time. I think though that if you add more scene your story will jump off the page. The reader will see and feel what you do as a writer. Instead of being told what happened. Good luck with this. On my shelf C.P

Thank you Chris for your comments and backing, that is really appreciated - particularly like the thought of the Beeb! Wow wouldn't that be great! I understand what you say about the interest, and in fact it does carry on building with the bullying and there is more there to come as it gets into teenage years which I hope would mean that it would keep interest, and of course the 80's changed in their own too. Thank you very much again, Jacqui x

This is a very honest, open novel. It reads like a British drama of family life as you would see on the Beeb at nine o'clock. It has a genuine feel of reality about it while not being too emotional or listing events that happened. It's difficult to do this type of genre. It often becomes boringly repetitive or overexaggerated. I like this though, it has some really good lines in it. I'm not too sure though how far it would keep my interest as I would like more than just a reflection on this period, i would like a story line woven through it somewhere. However i am backing it as i think it has good potential and is a charming book.

Thank you Mikey, I really appreciate your comments and insight - I hadn't thought of it from the world wide perspective before - how would suggest I deal with that side of things? Because its very much about 70's British life, although several aspects have the american input - such as Elvis, Brady Bunch etc., - any thoughts on that would be greatly appreciated! I wonder how different you feel it is also compared to the US - I am sure pretty different... Fascinating - you've got me thinking!!!

Shelved. Entertaining and informative.
i found it fascinating to get a glimpse
of English popular culture.
Suggestion.
The pitch is all we we and our country..
but Authonomy is mostly Americans.
Lots of luck with it.Mikey The Free

Shelved. Entertaining and informative.
i found it fascinating to get a glimpse
of English popular culture.
Suggestion.
The pitch is all we we and our country..
but Authonomy is mostly Americans.
Lots of luck with it.Mikey The Free

This is a very honest, open novel. It reads like a British drama of family life as you would see on the Beeb at nine o'clock. It has a genuine feel of reality about it while not being too emotional or listing events that happened. It's difficult to do this type of genre. It often becomes boringly repetitive or overexaggerated. I like this though, it has some really good lines in it. I'm not too sure though how far it would keep my interest as I would like more than just a reflection on this period, i would like a story line woven through it somewhere. However i am backing it as i think it has good potential and is a charming book.

This is a very honest, open novel. It reads like a British drama of family life as you would see on the Beeb at nine o'clock. It has a genuine feel of reality about it while not being too emotional or listing events that happened. It's difficult to do this type of genre. It often becomes boringly repetitive or overexaggerated. I like this though, it has some really good lines in it. I'm not too sure though how far it would keep my interest as I would like more than just a reflection on this period, i would like a story line woven through it somewhere. However i am backing it as i think it has good potential and is a charming book.

I've had so many lovely comments and really appreciate everyones input so much - I really want to see if I can get someone interesting in publishing it - has anyone got any ideas on where it might be best to start for this type of novel? I can't seem to find where to start as it doesn't fit in "historical" or "comedy" or "womens fiction" it is different - any ideas would be welcome! Many thanks, Jacqui x

Thank you Andrew - your comment and backing is really appreciated - thank you so much, I am so pleased you liked it and agree with the authenticity. It means a lot to me. Many thanks, and best wishes, Jacqui

Having grown up on a London council estate myself, I can easily relate to this. Honestly and starkly written, it has a real british feel to it, showing edginess and personality in much the way british films like trainspotting do compared to the mushy pulp that comes out of Hollywood. Essential reading in my opinion.

Andrew

Having grown up on a London council estate myself, I can easily relate to this. Honestly and starkly written, it has a real british feel to it, showing edginess and personality in much the way british films like trainspotting do compared to the mushy pulp that comes out of Hollywood. Essential reading in my opinion.

Andrew

Hi CP - sorry its taken me so long to reply - i haven't been well lately, and only just managed to get back on here. Thank you so much for your comments and backing, it is appreciated. Thank you as well for your advise, and will certainly review again and see if I can add more scene - I know I am bad at that but will certainly try! Appreciate it, Jacqui x

A story that is bound to make the reader smile. It's depiction of family and life are a window into another time. I think though that if you add more scene your story will jump off the page. The reader will see and feel what you do as a writer. Instead of being told what happened. Good luck with this. On my shelf C.P

A story that is bound to make the reader smile. It's depiction of family and life are a window into another time. I think though that if you add more scene your story will jump off the page. The reader will see and feel what you do as a writer. Instead of being told what happened. Good luck with this. On my shelf C.P

Thank you Bob for your backing and comments - appreciate your editing comment too - will keep revising! Glad you liked it! Jacqui x

Life on the Estate is honest, humourous, nostalgic and well-written, though unfortunately I now can't stop singing 'Tiger Feet' in my head! Backed.
The editor has some work to do on typos and in sorting out some clumsy sentences [eg 'Dad was a happy one of the lad's type of bloke, stocky and quite big he was a tough sort, that took no rubbish from anyone but I was also a gentle giant']. Easily rectified at the next edit, though. Good luck.

Life on the Estate is honest, humourous, nostalgic and well-written, though unfortunately I now can't stop singing 'Tiger Feet' in my head! Backed.
The editor has some work to do on typos and in sorting out some clumsy sentences [eg 'Dad was a happy one of the lad's type of bloke, stocky and quite big he was a tough sort, that took no rubbish from anyone but I was also a gentle giant']. Easily rectified at the next edit, though. Good luck.

Thank you Phyllis, I'm so pleased you like it so far! I'm gradually getting more done and hope to get more up on the site very soon - just working on chapter 8, trouble is I keep back over whats there as well! It is funny what comes around again - national strike is talking about being back, and so many things that come around with fashion etc - even seeing Knight Rider being back on brings back memories! I hope you enjoy the rest, best wishes, Jacqui (Life on the Estate)

Hello Jacqui, I have just read two or three chapters of Life on The Estate. You have a unique way of story-telling - it is just how I would have imagined it to be. It is a slice of life, particularly when you bear in mind that problems like these are still very much in the news.
I am placing it on my Watch List, because I need to read some more. Good Luck with it.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm

Thank you Pete, I am so pleased you liked it, and thank you very much for your great comments. I am so pleased that it resonated with some of your memories too. Your costume sounds great! I am so moved that you enjoyed it so much. Thank you again, Jacqui (Life on the Estate)

Well what a trip down memory lane this was. Punks, skins and nuns all make a bow in a first chapter than begins with violence and ends with humour and tenderness, You can almost imagine you are enjoying the hot summers of the late seventies. I am a few years younger than you but the Silver Jubilee gripped all of us as you say. I was only 4 at the time but I remember the huge street parties up in Carlisle (mother dressed me up as a Viking for some reason). I can only imagine London, with the Queen on the doorstep (well a few miles away on a much bigger doorstep), made the party all the more special.
I am backing this because I loved what I have read so far. I have read other such books about times I recall well but not many have been so vivid and real. Thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart and memory.

Pete x

Thank you Freddie, your comments are really appreciated, I am so pleased it resonated so much with you! It's funny, everyone's picked out something different that meant something to them, or brought back a memory, both with other people on here, and friends etc. I am glad you enjoyed it! Thank you also for the point out for chapter 4 - I will definately have a look at that. Good luck for you too, I will certainly reciprocate as soon as I can. Best wishes, Jacqui (Life on the Estate)

a blast from the past to a time which is, as you rightly surmise, now retro-cool



tiger feet – will have that stuck in my head for a while now – death of elvis, mull of Kintyre (grief!)... a lot to remember, but perhaps more we should forget... only joking – an important decade and i’m sure the memories will resonate with welcomed nostalgia for those of relevant age

abba, spiders in the bed, space hoppers . . .


the youth gangs, murders, hardship of life in a deprived area – there’s a grimness here and yet you don’t sink into misery, the story moves at a jaunty pace and there’s a strength and stoicism in its telling that i find admirable



(bit of a font formatting issue in chapter 4, half-way through – the part about christmas)



the thatcher years, the ira attack on mountbatten – history and politics woven seamlessly in to your personal recount of the period brings the whole to life in a very entertaining way

this is a fascinating glimpse into uk life during the late seventies/early eighties and one which will i’m sure find a keen audience – i am shelving this and wish you well with it

freddie
("honour")

a blast from the past to a time which is, as you rightly surmise, now retro-cool



tiger feet – will have that stuck in my head for a while now – death of elvis, mull of Kintyre (grief!)... a lot to remember, but perhaps more we should forget... only joking – an important decade and i’m sure the memories will resonate with welcomed nostalgia for those of relevant age

abba, spiders in the bed, space hoppers . . .


the youth gangs, murders, hardship of life in a deprived area – there’s a grimness here and yet you don’t sink into misery, the story moves at a jaunty pace and there’s a strength and stoicism in its telling that i find admirable



(bit of a font formatting issue in chapter 4, half-way through – the part about christmas)



the thatcher years, the ira attack on mountbatten – history and politics woven seamlessly in to your personal recount of the period brings the whole to life in a very entertaining way

this is a fascinating glimpse into uk life during the late seventies/early eighties and one which will i’m sure find a keen audience – i am shelving this and wish you well with it

freddie
("honour")

Well what a trip down memory lane this was. Punks, skins and nuns all make a bow in a first chapter than begins with violence and ends with humour and tenderness, You can almost imagine you are enjoying the hot summers of the late seventies. I am a few years younger than you but the Silver Jubilee gripped all of us as you say. I was only 4 at the time but I remember the huge street parties up in Carlisle (mother dressed me up as a Viking for some reason). I can only imagine London, with the Queen on the doorstep (well a few miles away on a much bigger doorstep), made the party all the more special.
I am backing this because I loved what I have read so far. I have read other such books about times I recall well but not many have been so vivid and real. Thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart and memory.

Pete x

Hello Jacqui, I have just read two or three chapters of Life on The Estate. You have a unique way of story-telling - it is just how I would have imagined it to be. It is a slice of life, particularly when you bear in mind that problems like these are still very much in the news.
I am placing it on my Watch List, because I need to read some more. Good Luck with it.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm

Thank you so much for your comments and backing, it is really appreciated. I am pleased you liked it, and yes do agree that I am horrendous at putting in exclamation marks and promise to look again at them - I nearly put another one just then, and again - its so tempting! ahh had to get one out..... Thank you as well for the encouragement, I do hope it is of interest and may be something publishers would look at, keep wondering if I should send it out or wait to see what happens on here - any advice welcome...

Anyway, thank you very much again, Jacqui x

Jacqui, thanks for some lovely nostalgia. This has an authentic voice and although it does ramble a little, I think you have created a something both personal and fascinating. My only suggestion is dump the exclamation marks - most agents and publishers hate them! (oops) There's quite a market these days for true life, biographical stuff, so I think you might have hit the right moment for completing your story. Good luck with it, shelved.

Thank you Andrew, your comments and feedback are really appreciated. I am so pleased you liked it. Thank you so much again, Jacqui

Life on the Estate

Hi Jacqui,

There is a lovely rambling stream of consciousness genuineness to this writing. The short, staccato sentences, the kind of she did and then I did, and you'll never guess what familiarity of the style makes this a very accessible story. This is a genuine piece of writing, capturing the essence of that experience. The lack of effort to conjure the scenes adds to the honesty of this writing, someone put it below much more succinctly than I could, it provides a genuine and open window on a world that we have lost. Great stuff, as unpretentious as it is possible to be, narrator and story driving it, as it should be - Andrew W.

(Sanctuary's Loss)

Thank you Cait, your comments and feedback are really appreciated. Sometimes it really was a battle ground, but tried to make sure the humour and laughter was in there as well, although its getting harder as the years go on in many ways, the teenage years were for me the hardest. I definately know I am terrible with exclamation marks and promise to go through and get rid of some more. oh it was so tempting to put one after that sentance, and again there..... Actually mashed potato and gravy was another one, and stew, they got thrown a few times too, thankfully not that we saw though with the hands around the throat, just loads of shouting and throwing, and whacking us.

It has been quite therapeutic in many ways writing it and hope that it might even cleanse some skeletons out of my head.

Anyway, thank you again, really appreciated. Jacqui x

Life on the Estate:

Jacqui, that estate was more like a battle field than a neighbourhood. :o.

You come across as a wonderful story teller, and even though there’s a fair bit of the passive, one doesn’t notice it as the words flow smoothly from one paragraph to the other, bringing this reader down memory lane. The washing in the sink, not enough hot water, sharing rooms. We used to sleep six to a bed. Three at the top and three at the bottom.

I think you’ve written part of my own life story here, as, like yourself, I remember all too well the dinners sliding down the wall, leaving trails of eggs, or mashed potatoes and gravy. If I ever get around to going public again with my collection of short stories, check out ‘Coloured Walls’.

But the memory of my father, in a drunken rage, with his hands tight around my mother's throat, is worse than the memory of all the ‘coloured walls ’ put together.

This is a story I’d like to spend more time with, but for now I will give it a spin on my shelf then keep it on my watchlist for further reading.

With a few nicks and tucks here and there this will read even better. O, and please get rid of the exclamation marks!!!!

I wish you all the best with this.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Thank you Carol, your comments and backing are really appreciated - thank you again, Jacqui

Hi Jacqui,

This is a beautifully written look at someone's life. I love the voice--very distinctive. It's very nostalgic too and that's very appealing. There are a lot of good details too, like the hall light Dawnie didn't like.

Carol

Hi Jacqui,

This is a beautifully written look at someone's life. I love the voice--very distinctive. It's very nostalgic too and that's very appealing. There are a lot of good details too, like the hall light Dawnie didn't like.

Carol

Hi Jacqui,

This is a beautifully written look at someone's life. I love the voice--very distinctive. It's very nostalgic too and that's very appealing. There are a lot of good details too, like the hall light Dawnie didn't like.

Carol

Life on the Estate:

Jacqui, that estate was more like a battle field than a neighbourhood. :o.

You come across as a wonderful story teller, and even though there’s a fair bit of the passive, one doesn’t notice it as the words flow smoothly from one paragraph to the other, bringing this reader down memory lane. The washing in the sink, not enough hot water, sharing rooms. We used to sleep six to a bed. Three at the top and three at the bottom.

I think you’ve written part of my own life story here, as, like yourself, I remember all too well the dinners sliding down the wall, leaving trails of eggs, or mashed potatoes and gravy. If I ever get around to going public again with my collection of short stories, check out ‘Coloured Walls’.

But the memory of my father, in a drunken rage, with his hands tight around my mother's throat, is worse than the memory of all the ‘coloured walls ’ put together.

This is a story I’d like to spend more time with, but for now I will give it a spin on my shelf then keep it on my watchlist for further reading.

With a few nicks and tucks here and there this will read even better. O, and please get rid of the exclamation marks!!!!

I wish you all the best with this.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Life on the Estate

Hi Jacqui,

There is a lovely rambling stream of consciousness genuineness to this writing. The short, staccato sentences, the kind of she did and then I did, and you'll never guess what familiarity of the style makes this a very accessible story. This is a genuine piece of writing, capturing the essence of that experience. The lack of effort to conjure the scenes adds to the honesty of this writing, someone put it below much more succinctly than I could, it provides a genuine and open window on a world that we have lost. Great stuff, as unpretentious as it is possible to be, narrator and story driving it, as it should be - Andrew W.

(Sanctuary's Loss)

Jacqui, thanks for some lovely nostalgia. This has an authentic voice and although it does ramble a little, I think you have created a something both personal and fascinating. My only suggestion is dump the exclamation marks - most agents and publishers hate them! (oops) There's quite a market these days for true life, biographical stuff, so I think you might have hit the right moment for completing your story. Good luck with it, shelved.

Thank you Shoshanna - I'm glad you liked it! I think there are memories for most of us within it - I hope that anyway! I've just added chapter seven if you're interested. Still working on it! Good luck with yours too. Best wishes, Jacqui (Life on the Estate)

What an interesting read! So different from how I grew up (though I got punched more than once from my brothers, I'll say). In and around the general grittiness of your environment, I have to say that what appeals to me the most are the little touches, like feeding the squirrels after your picnic on Nan's birthday...and the arguements over who made the better 'Bond'.

This is something that feels like a little 'window' into a time an place of which I have no personal experience. Thanks for that! Backed.

Shoshanna Einfeld
A True Faerie Story

Thank you Phil - appreciate your comments very much - I'm glad you enjoyed it. Good luck for you too! Best wishes, Jacqui (Life on the Estate)

I can identify with your story, Jacqui, as I spent a few years in the East End. It's a very real story and I think your voice is one that draws me in your readers. Interesting also to go back to this particular period when many changes were taking place. Backed with pleasure - Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

Thank you for your comments - glad you enjoyed it! Still working on it, appreciate your thoughts. Good luck for your too. Best wishes, Jacqui (Life on the Estate)

Harsh, realistic, grubby and tense... drags the reader on your journey.

A bit unfocused, though.
Shelved for truthiness.
J
Children of Paradise

Harsh, realistic, grubby and tense... drags the reader on your journey.

A bit unfocused, though.
Shelved for truthiness.
J
Children of Paradise

I can identify with your story, Jacqui, as I spent a few years in the East End. It's a very real story and I think your voice is one that draws me in your readers. Interesting also to go back to this particular period when many changes were taking place. Backed with pleasure - Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

Thank you John - I appreciate your comments and agree that I wanted to make sure I wrote it just as we spoke then - I do speak a little better now but always had the conversations in my head when I was writing it and how it was! I appreciate the punctuation though and will look again at that. I promise also to have a look at your book when I get a spare minute! Best wishes, Jacqui

Hi Jacqui,
I found this charming, shelv ed.

Don't let people on here pursuade you to change your voice to bring this story into 'received' English. Phrases like 'me Dad' give this work a sense of authenticity. Some of the punctuation needs a little work. 'Dads nose' would be 'Dad's nose' because you only have one Dad and the nose belongs to him.

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Thank you very much John - it is very kind of you - I will definately add your book to my watchlist and read it as soon as possible. Good luck to you too, best wishes, Jacqui

Jacqui, A fascinating read. You have a distinctive voice and an eye for the telling detail, which vividly bring to life the setting and the era. Your book has many resonances for me. My story, Alby and Me, is based on my boyhood growing up on a tough Birmingham council estate in the late 1940s. Good luck you deserve to do well on here. Happily backed.
John

Hi Jacqui,
I found this charming, shelv ed.

Don't let people on here pursuade you to change your voice to bring this story into 'received' English. Phrases like 'me Dad' give this work a sense of authenticity. Some of the punctuation needs a little work. 'Dads nose' would be 'Dad's nose' because you only have one Dad and the nose belongs to him.

John Booth (Shaddowdon)