Free at Last

A very good story of a young Russsian girl and her problems. I wish I had time to read more but I am backing it, knowing it will go to the top. Take a look at my book, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story. I hope you like it and perhaps will back mine. JohnJ

A very good story of a young Russsian girl and her problems. I wish I had time to read more but I am backing it, knowing it will go to the top. Take a look at my book, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story. I hope you like it and perhaps will back mine. JohnJ

Awesome read. Powerful and emotional that engages the reader from the first word. C W

wow sad story but i could not stop reading backed will read more

Anba
L.O.V.E

BACKED

I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work.

Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters.

So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk.


There you are.

BACKED
Hope you reciprocate.

The story is brutal, and the telling of it is relentless, heightened by the staccato-like delivery of the lines. Pared down, no fat, it makes the story even more powerful by its almost laconic prose.

Shelved with pleasure.
Stuart Phillips
High Cotton

Well, not my kind of book, but I was captivated by it.

This is one of those rare reads that makes Authonomy worthwhile.

Superbly crafted from the ashes of the diary (I presume it is true if not it is entirely believable).

I really liked this very much but sadly cannot back it more than once. It deserves to be read widely.

Excellent fiction, superb writing.

What more can one say!

Hi George. Free At Last. (I am commenting having read all 7 uploaded chapters). Anyone who thinks the 'white slave trade' no longer exists in 21stC Europe should read this and think again. This is an extremely well crafted book about depravity. The depravity is not in the sexual content but in the fact that the 'industry' to which Mara fell victim continues to profit by exploiting the vulnerable while operating by the obscene conceit that any one human can ever 'own' another like so much chattel. This obscenity is multiplied by the collusion and corruption of the authorities (eloquently represented in your narrative when the uniformed police take advantage of the girls who turn to them for assistance) who are supposed to represent/uphold our respectable 'wider society'. I can declare a certain interest in your subject matter: some years ago I had a Czech girlfriend. I lived in CR for a time and travelled regularly between CR/UK for an 8-9 yr period (and extensively around E.Europe -- although not Russia). Over the best part of a decade I saw the transition of the CR from Soviet satellite state to Western 'democracy'. Unfortunately, one of the negative aspects of the dismantling of the Iron Curtain was the opening up of a plentiful supply of victims for the white slave trade in Western Europe. E Europeans who dreamt of a 'better life' or hoped to help 'families back home' (or who were fleeing backgrounds like Mara's) were seized upon by the white slavers in considerable numbers. Such is the capitalist victory in the Cold War....'gangster capitalism'...ironically everything the Communists ever warned about! Of course, now the former Eastern Bloc is more fully subsumed into our Western 'utopia', the slavers are having to look further afield...the 3rd World and migrants now suffering the same fate as Mara and her E European sisters. As you will know from your Serbian background, war zones provide fertile ground for this type of obscene activity. The victimhood in your book is very realistic and well portrayed. I admire what you are doing with this book. One day we might all be lucky enough to live in a world that offers social justice rather than social engineering. However, having said all this, I do think (along with some others who have commented) that we have a genre classification problem with your book. It depends how far you have fictionalised 'Mara' and her story as to whether this belongs in the 'fiction' camp or under the 'true life' banner. Either way, this is powerful writing and a story that deserves to be told. Shelved. ATB Simon (Little Bastard)

George,
This would be a powerful, emmotional story if it were just fiction - but knowing that Mara actually lived this - it's humbling.
Moving stuff. Backed
Cat
Judas Kiss

George,

I just finished reading the first two chapters of " Free at Last " and am impressed with your style. Maya's line in the opening - " We are not happy unless we are miserable " - excellently foreshadows what we will learn of her life. The transition between relating the story from the point of view of the author to that of Maya via her diaries is an interesting and unique approach, executed seamlessly. Personally, however, I would have liked more information about the development of their relationship. As currently written, it seemed a bit unlikely to me that Maya would entrust her journals to the man. How did that trust evolve?

Maya is well crafted as lonely, dissatisfied, and feeling unloved. Her prospects seem bleak, yet there remains in her a drive to escape this existence - dreams of life in Italy. She has reached a point where " I don't cry anymore ", but still grasps at hope. Her words ring true of teen observations - " She has a defective memory about her own bad habits." - Sounds just like a girl describing her mother.

I enjoyed the mixture of dialogue with narrative in the diary section. A difficult task well done. I do believe the scene setting in some instances could be expanded upon in order to draw the reader deeper into the story without being obtrusive.

There did appear to me to be some minor and easy to correct errors in the manuscript regarding wordiness, mixing of tenses, etc.

Examples:
We all knew he spends most of it in the boozer where he hangs out.
It is understood that he hangs out in the boozer and the tense is mixed
- We all know he spends most of it in the boozer.

She looked at me with wide open eyes.
-She looked at me wide eyed.

She appeared to be in her twenties, but oviously had seen better days.
- She appeared to be in her twenties, but had seen better days.

" I'll wait up for you, Marochka," Daddy winked at me as he poured some vodka into his shot glass.
- " I'll wait up for you, Marochka," Daddy winked, filling a shot glass with vodka.

These are only suggestions that I believe would tighten your prose. I enjoy your work as a whole and am shelving it for now with the intention of reading more later.

Best of Luck

G.
Einstein's Road Trip

This has the potential to be gripping, powerful and moving. I particularly liked the prologue and the dreamlike quality of the writing. If I have an overall nitpick, it's that I wouldn't mind a little more in the way of descriptions and scene-setting. But that may well be me. Anyway, I've enjoyed what I've read so far and would definitely read on. Good luck with it and on my shelf. Angela

I would definitely say that this is literary fiction. It has that slow, but thoughtful pace to it that allows the reader to appreciate the nuances of narrative and dialogue, rather than pounding them through the plot, guns blazing, as is favoured by some readers. It is very difficult to pull off a slow pace and maintain interest, but here I think you've pulled it off. I pesonally, like a fast paced thriller, but I enjoyed what you had to say here, and your writing held my attention. Not as avidly as my preferred genres, but that is to be expected. I only have one issue, and that is with the very beginning. My pea-sized brain took a while to realise that the pair were speaking in russian together, but only after the words, 'but you speak russian perfectly' or something like that. At first I wondered how she knew, but then it clicked that he was speaking to her in russian. Maybe adding, 'he said, in the mother tongue' or something like that to his first piece of dialogue might clear this up a bit.

Andrew

Hi George, this story hold the attention very easily. Your characters are so well defined and the descriptive of the house where Mara lives, very vivid.
You have a natural voice which comes through in your words very clear and without effort.

Shelved.!
Frank.

George,

This was recommend to me by Selestiel (Gemini: The Twins) so I thought I'd take a look. I now see from your profile that you are, like me, an Aussie (I grew up in the UK but have been here over twenty years). I always like to support fellow antipodean authors so I'm glad to have been pointed at this one.

Starting, as is my habbit, with the pitch, the short pitch is I think effective--if perhaps a little confronting--though I had a couple of minor observations, you might want to consider:

--I wondered whether 'This story' (or even 'Free at Last') wouldn't work better than 'The story' in the opening; and
--'sex-slave' is a term more familiar to me than 'slave prostitute'.

The long pitch reads more like one for a work of non-fiction than one for a novel, but I think that's appropriate and my attention is certainly engaged. Not picking, I wonder whether in the penultimate paragraph you could use 'each other' rather than 'between themselves', which was a little clumsy to my ear. There are also places where I'm not sure about the punctuation (the colon in the first sentence of the second paragraphs and commas in your last sentence) but this is not an area I'm strong in myself.

Before I read on, I notice on your book page that you have classified this as 'moderate' content. My initial impression is that the work deals with adult themes and it should perhaps be classifed as such, meaning not for under eighteens, but without reading any of the work I can't be sure about that. You have no doubt considered this.

So into the work proper, where initially I will focus on the opening fourteen lines--roughly the first page--and ask myself, if I were browsing this in a book store would I turn the page? Fourteen lines takes me to the line ending, 'Says so much about the essential Russianness.'

Having read those lines I think I would turn the page. There's a literary feel here. True nothing happens--nothing dramatic--and there's little revealed of the characters, but something says to me that's there a depth to the writing. Nothing I can put my finger on, but the cadence seems assured.

I have a couple of observations, take them with a grain of salt, I'm prone to minimalism:

--you have your MC say, 'How long have you been [here] in Australia' for me, omitting the 'here' would give this a more natural rythmn;and
--earlier the MC say 'I notice you are reading in Russian' here I feel the contraction 'you're' would be more natural for someone who has grown up in an English speaking country.

The comment about Sydney trains running late made me smile (I've often waited on Town Hall myself).

The initial conversation between Mara and the narrator works well for me and is nicely distant and yet touching. The development of that relationship and the meeting leading to Mara handing over the diary, though, are, to me, perhaps a little rushed. They are recounted in summary and we don't get to see the relationship grow and the spark of trust ocurr. The writing is strong through out, but I feel almost cheated at not seeing this played out. I feel that understanding how they become such firm friends so quickly is important to me.

Then you start from Mara's viewpoint, and the change in voice is marked. where the narrator was perhaps somewhat staid here we have teenage attitued and confidence and the language and rythmns are perfect.

The first thing that gives me pause is reference to the 'boozer' to me that's a very English term and I wonder whether pub wouldn't be more appropriate (though I know nothing of Russia).

I read throught the second chapter also, and the voice is assured and the action engaging.

I shall give this a spin on my shelf. Good luck with it.

You have taken a true story and novelised it perfectly. I would be happy to read the whole book.
Best wishes
Sue

Such humanity, such pain, and such pathos. You have an eye and an ear for the humanity in us all and in situations where people need help, as well as for sadness, cruelty and other emotions. Perhaps it is true that only one crushed and hurt can see the beauty in others. That comes through here, very powerfully. Perhaps it is that you write with your Russian soul. I read Crime and Punishment, the Brothers Karamzov, Fathers and Sons, War and Peace and other Russian novels in college. They were deep and took a long time to get through, but the images stay with you forever. You have managed to combine the best of both worlds -- this book reads quicker than those 19th century tomes, yet it has the same depth and feeling. Russia meets Australia. The result is good. Shelved.

Hi George, I liked how the diary develops from terse episodes into narrative and how the adolescent entries expanded into fiction. The form gives adept portrayals of the people around Mara besides showing how these relationships influence and overtake her. The writing is firm and flows. I wanted to know what happened in Italy. This is tautly crafted and its texture makes for startling reading. Shelved – Katherine

George,

Every now and then I find a gem on this site, and Free at Last is one of them. I discovered you by chance - and what a lucky chance. First I was intrigued by your profile, and after reading the pitch I was hooked and couldn't wait to start reading Chapter One.

Your love of the Russian classics shows in your own writing, and I can also see in your beautiful prose the influence of the great master - J M Coetzee. (I have read everything of his, and Disgrace is one of my favourites.) The economy of words. The choice of just the right words.

The prologue is very powerful and is a clever way to presage the "diary". This is faction at its best. It is a real page-turner, irresistible not only because it is so well written, but because it highlights a subject that needs exposure. Because your novel is based on fact it will have an even greater impact and perhaps, and hopefully, be a tool to bring this despicable practice to the ears of those who can do something about eradicating it.

What more can I say? I would recommend this to anyone who wants to read a novel that is exquisitely written, has the power to keep you reading, and will bring tears to your eyes.

Shelved.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

This is perhaps one of the most compelling novels on this site, and it is one of those things that happens in real life more than we care to acknowledge. You have outlined the story very well. This is a definite page turner which becomes more fascinating with each chapter. On my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

George,
I've read all your chapters and thought the book became more compelling with every page. Your opening section is very long, covering so much ground, that I'd consider splitting it, but it's your book and I'm only speaking as a reader so feel free to ignore my thoughts.
Your cover and pitch are excellent. The idea of basing a novel on reality is far from new, but you carry it off so well. The opening section, meeting up with the young girl and striking up a conversation with her, works very well and by the end of the first chapter we can relate to Mara through her diary entries. Her early life is raw and far from perfect, but in the background is the realisation that the life of this young girl will soon become so much worse.
Chapter 4 takes the story into darker territory and Mara's life does indeed become very far removed from her idealised notions of Italy and the Western world. Her enslavement as a prostitute is truly harrowing and I commend your skill as a writer for telling this story in such a plausible manner.
I'm so pleased you wrote this book. It's factual antecedents make it so much more compelling and stories such as this need to be told. I don't think it is as yet the finished article, in common with almost every book on this site, but you have the talent to resolve any issues necessary and produce a book that demands to be published.
On my shelf.
Jared

Okay, I love the pitch. It pulled me in and got me to read the first couple of chapters. Over all, the writing sounds good, but the Prologue is killing the book. It drags. Too much is described, especially for the first person narrator.

For example, 'I explained that I was not born in Russia.' Just keep that as dialogue. Use the summation for information that would be too dense in dialogue. Like when she starts her story. I like the paragraph that starts 'She talked hesitantly at first, but with increasing pathos'. That gives us a good feel for the conversation and what's important. You then follow with a few lines of dialogue that gives us the flavor and the highlights.

I know it's an overused cliche to say 'show, don't tell', and some writers show too much and don't tell enough, but here I think a bit more showing would improve it. One you get into the narrative, the voice rapidly picks up and the flow goes much smoother. By Section 2, it's going very well.

Oh, and I've noticed a few comments about the line of reading the Brothers Karamazov at age 7. Personally, I was an early reader too, so it just went by me without a blink. But I can see where others might stop on it. Now I know, from your bio, that this is a true fact, but remember, you're billing this as fiction, so you are free to change the details to fit the story. So, unless it is vital to your story, drop it. Or at least change it to 'when I was a child' or something like that. That way, it gets the intent you're going for (you read it at a young age) without possibly disrupting the flow by surprising people.

For now, I'll be back to read more later. But I'm going to back it, but for the writing. It shows very strong potential. I know some people have commented on the topic. I've seen some great topics handled horribly, so that can't save a badly written book. Personally, I think the topic, and the way you seem to be treating it, is a lot stronger than I would usually read. But I know it would sell well.

Best of luck.

Patrick O'Leary
(Welcome to the Leper Colony)

Having been drawn in by the pitch,this story absorbed me from the first line. Superb contrast between Anya's home comforts and those experienced by Mara. This is a chilling tale which I fear will get even more gritty but I have yet to read on. Knowing this was fictionalised from true life makes it even more visual and your writing skill embodies simplicity, care and sensitivity. You tell a story well and it's one I want to follow with Mara. Shelved. Margaret.

This is incredibly compelling stuff. Right from the opeing. This says it is fiction, but yet it sounded by your pitch like it was based on a true story.
This throbs like an exposed wound. This book is raw. The first chapter was quite long and I would suggest breaking it up. But I found the writing is engaging and nothing seemed forced abou this.
I noticed that you have a lot of speech tags that are not SAID. AS in Whispered, sobbed, replied, pouted explained. A kind autho person told me that if your dialoge is good enough you don't need this and often tags aren't necessary at all. That in this situation Said would do just fine.
I thought I would mention it. A lot id convyed with the words. And so indicating that someone ordered or explained isn't necessary.
Backed.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Free at Last--
Wow.
This is quite the read. A bit heavy for me- but I think you've done a great job with it.
On my shelf.
~Krista
--Riley's Gift

George, this is powerful stuff. It's based on a true story? How horribly sad, but maybe it is this that makes it so raw and truthful. I was amazed that a man could write about young women in such a realistic way. My only pull-up moment was when the narrator says he read Karamazov at seven! I read it in my mid-teens and thought that was pretty good going!
First person narrative often seems like a lazy option but works perfectly here. The voice is so clear. There is nothing cliched about this and I would happily keep reading if I had it in paper form.
Maybe your first chapter is a bit too long... Just a thought.
But seriously, I do think this is great.
Backed with sincere pleasure.
Jane
(Walker)

Powerful, riveting and very convincing. Free at Last is an amazing story, George. The pitch is a huge draw, but it is your writing which really leads one along. The first chapter where you meet Mara on the train is a great introduction and it progresses brilliantly. Mara is a pretty amazing character and I think her speaking in the first person works really well. Backed with pleasure and wishing you the best of luck with publication, which your story deserves. Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

The beginning of Free at Last which deals with Mara and Anya's early years didn't altogether convince me that you'd found the genuine voice of young girls relating their experiences - I can't put my finger on quite why, so I can't be more specific, sorry. The later chapters drew me in and seemed to gel much better, either because I'd got used to your style or you'd got more comfortable with Mara yourself. Either way, I enjoyed the read, and I think you have a book here that will appeal to a wide audience and has riveting characters. I'm happy to back it.

Very good.

Very emotional story. Intense stuff.

Backed

Jill

The way you start this feels real. Although I have to wonder - reading the Brothers K at the age of seven - are you kidding me? We immediately feel for the MC - well, both POVs - from the prologue to the first chapter. The first chapter is her coming of age - first sexual experiences. So far I believe you could add romance to your tag line as Mara and Anya's relationship develops. Of course, the blurb warns me that it won't last. As a backdrop, you have her home life. Mara's love of visiting Anya's house - contrasts well with her home life - we feel her desire to escape. And as we end the chapter, we feel the tension rising in their relationship - and Mara's own sexuality as she will be forced to chose soon. I'm interested to read more - I want to see how her home life compares to her life in Italy and how her young sexual experiences contrast with her imprisoned ones. I'm hooked - you write well - a book I'd buy. Shelved.

BACKING because Simon Swift did and I trust his instincts. Those pitches look perfect as well. Tragic story though. Think you can make it to the Ed's desk despite the tragedy.

Do look forward to your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

George,

You have such a riveting story here. Your book sheds light on prostitution, mail-order brides, etc. on a personal level through the eyes of a young Russian girl. Your dialogue between Mara and Anya is genuine. They sound like typical teens, exploring life and themselves. I can picture myself in Anya's bedroom when they share their secrets.

My suggestion to you would be to breakdown your chapters--just to make it a bit easier to follow. I also would encourage you to turn your novel into a screenplay. You have quite a story here, George, that needs to be told. It needs to reach wider audience. This has Oscar written all over it.

All the best,
Janine
MY KIND OF CRAZY

Hi George-

This is heavy, serious material, but you've written it with a kind, loving, gentle hand. Very emotional, heart breaking... But very real. You've described Mara and her experiences in such vivid detail, it's not hard to believe that most of this is true, or at least spun from truth. Great job with this book/memoir, whatever it should be called. It's on my shelf.

Kim
Invisible Justice

George,privet! Kak dela? Thousands of women throughout Europe will be pleased you've written this book, and written it so faithfully. Since the late eighties, when barriers between east and west started coming down, increasing numbers of women from the former soviet countries have ended up in western brothels where, even if they are voluntary economic migrants, their existence is as close to slavery as you can get. Your excellent writing shows incredible sensitivity and sympathy, telling it how it is. I'm very pleased to back this book. Best wishes, Tony.

Free At Last

Hi George,

She is free at last, what an excellent title to encapsulate such an interesting story. She is free and you have helped her, starting with that conversation in Russian on the train. The experiences she has had are harrowing and yet you write about them so matter-of-factly, making them real and without dropping into sentimentality for a moment. The darkness seems never-ending, but the straight prose, the great dialogue and the sensitive treatment of all the characters enables us to see and experience Mara's world as it happens. It must have been so nice to unburden to you, to know that she could trust you to weave the story. Serendipity indeed, a voice for pain and distress, that, by articulating them, hopefully puts them to an end. Best wishes and good luck, if you have the time to look at my book that would be great.

Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

This is a fascinating storyline and it has good strong characters. Good luck, backed!

From the pitch I would go out and buy the book!
it seemed so sad that the diaries were burnt, yet I could understand why.
Books like this need to be written, and I applaud you for taking on the job. I would have liked to have known what Mara thought of the book. I only read No 1 and will try to read more when I have more time.
Essential shelving!

ww Lisa

It's only beer -- like Coca-cola ---- what a great line.

Very interesting read. Draws you in with compelling characters. Definitely worth the support of those who have read, and more to come.

I was entranced from the first words.

I am always captivated by a story of someone's life and found myself lost in Mara's world from the first chapter.

This would be a book I would buy. Your writing is smooth, simple and wonderful to read.

Backed with pleasure after only reading a small portion for this will be one I will come back and read when time permits.

Jo xx

Spoilt

THere is a banality to the hardness in this work which makes me uncomfortable. Its hard to stop reading because its such a fasinating story. Well done and Shelved.

powerful...heart breaking...wow!

Oh yes George! This is very very good! You are a very clever man! Looking forward to reading more!
Simon

This is not the sort of book I would choose to read, however it is the sort my wife would like. I remember she recently read about a Polish girl who married an Arab and they moved to a country in the Middle East.
It is well written and I didn’t notice any errors. I think it would be better to divide into separate chapters. I will back it since this type of story would sell well if published. Good luck with it.

Tony

Hi George, this is a fantastic premise, great pitch and of course good writing, albeit modstly dialogue. I'm amazed you managed to remember so much detail, or take notes of so many details. Although I suppose I would have just photocopied the whole diary and then worked on it once she'd thrown the original in the fire.
Anyway, marvellous. My only nit is you've use the word Russia or Russian over fifteen times in the prologue - and it did get a little irritating. (I know we all repeat words, but this made me feel as if you were ramming Russia down my throat). Perhaps you could use other words to describe, or just leave out some of them? Shelved with pleasure for a very original tale.

Hey George,
There's a lot of foreboding in that last sentence labeled authonomy chapter 3 - "Maybe there was life after Alex and Anya" but as we know she's heading off into even more trying times.

It was a brave move writing the diary of a young Russian girl but it feels authentic from the details you've given us - from the descriptions of the horrible food her mother cooked, the coldness of her mother and even a father with a fondness for the vodka. It's understandable that she seeks solace first with Anya and then with Alex, all the while seeking a mother figure.

You portrayed the teenage crush and obsession that Anya's develops well, but the betrayal seemed to come from some very warped logic - I laughed when Mara called her a f*cking lesbian as of course that's what she'd been as well! One thing I wanted to know is what she looks like when she hands over the diary at Town Hall. Was she still good-looking or had life weathered her?

Overall, it's very compelling and easy to get lost in. Not sure where you are on the publishing trail, but since you are Australian you might try the Scribe New Fiction Award. Deadline is Thursday the 15th of October. Details here or just google in:
http://www.scribepublications.com.au/files/asset/location/134/scribe_cal_fiction_prize_MR.pdf

Alternatively since the story is based on real life, have you seen the ads around the site for Harper True? They asked for submissions and have promised to read the top ten in this category every month - feels like you've got a winner here, so could be worth crossing categories. (Of course make sure it is 100% verifiable unless you want to be another Norma Khouri, which makes fiction safer).

Shelved, of course.

Cheers,
Heather
Friends & Pho

This is beautifully written, an important book about a tragic subject, I think this MUST reach the editor's desk. I'm telling my friends anyway. Backed with pleasure
BADD

Hey Cait,

Wow! You made an effort before you choofed off to Ireland - much appreciated.

Now to business:

The burning of the diary was a symbolic gesture, remember what she said: "I have no further use for it"?

Yes, I did make copious notes - she asked me to do that. Just as well, my memory is not what it used to be. When (and if) you read the Prologue, it will be clear to you, but please don't read it until you finish the book!

Russian children address all adults as Auntie or Uncle. I think they did this here too but not generation X and Y!

Yes, the Russian bathroom are rather primitive and the mother would not think it unusual for them to have a bath together - little did she know. The early teens are not what they used to be!

Misha is a shortened name for Michael (pronounced Mikhail - the accent on the second "i")

Thanks again for your constructive comments and the backing. Will reciprocate when I come up for air.

Have a wonderful trip.

Bests,

George

Free at Last:

George, your prologue alone makes for a wonderful read, and the way you met Mára, it’s as though you were meant to write her story. I felt sick when she threw her diary in the fire, but confused as to why she would burn it when she'd told you she wanted you to write her story and show it to the world? I thought she would have let you keep it. Did you copy all of it or memorize some of it?

I didn’t understand about the Auntie Lida/Mum name. Why does Mára call her Auntie?

~ Nothing mushy at home, except some of Máma’s meals.~ She has a good sense of Humour. :o)

~“I miss out again,” she said as we plunged into the tub. ~ Would this be common practice for two thirteen-year-old friends to share a bath?

“Yo, baby,” Misha caught up… Hah! Misha is my handle for Facebook and another writers site. :-} It’s actually spelt míse in Irish but pronounced misha. It means ‘myself/me’.

~ He eyes filled with tears. ~ Her eyes…

Most interesting, but frightening what thirteen-year-olds get up to nowadays. :o.

Read all the chapters from the Chapter One slot. Almost scared to read what Mára goes through later.:o.

Your writing is very good, just needs a few commas throughout, mainly in dialogue, but I wasn’t sure if this was the way Mára wrote in her diary.

All the best with this.

Already backed.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

George,

I'll keep this brief as it is late here (London, UK), but I really got sucked into your story. It is so honest and feels so real. I know it is based on real events, but it's not always easier to render real life believeable in fiction. You have managed it.

I'll be backing this without a second thought. Good luck with it.

Ian

Thank you so much.

Will return the compliment when I come up for air - swamped at the mo.

Cheers,

George