Book Jacket

 

rank 5469
word count 32465
date submitted 05.10.2009
date updated 12.02.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Chick Lit, Crime...
classification: adult
incomplete

Lead Me Not

Janene F.

When an investigator who makes a living digging up the secrets of others is forced to reveal her own, she isn't prepared for the consequences.

 

Melody Ann Peace has spent most of her adult life acting like someone else. As a senior investigator of MantlePeace Investigative Services, she devotes her time to examining the lives of potential employees for her firm’s ever-growing list of business clients. She makes a living digging up other people’s secrets, the nooks and crannies of their lives that they hide from their family and friends.

When a rich and demanding wife seeks out Melody to discover if her husband is having an affair, Melody reluctantly takes the case. However, she isn’t prepared for the level of attraction she feels for the mysterious man she’s been hired to investigate. Her failure to deal with her feelings leads to an unfortunate encounter and an unexpected high-profile murder.

After Melody becomes a “person of interest,” clients begin re-thinking their relationships with her detective agency, causing a strain in her relationship with her business partner, Christopher Mantle. In order to clear her name and save her agency, Melody embarks on the most challenging investigation of her career. As she delves deeper into the motive behind the murder, she finds that in the world of the rich and powerful, nothing is what is seems.

 
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tags

affair, comedy, internet, murder, mystery, private investigator, thriller

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55 comments

 

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Barry Wenlock wrote 598 days ago

Hi Janine, I think you have managed to combine chick-lit with a thriller format very well. I'm not a huge fan of either, so you'll be pleased to know that I enjoyed your opening two chapters very much. You've so many comments and I'm so busy this evening that I'll leave it at that. Genuinely good writing.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

lizjrnm wrote 806 days ago

This is like an intelligent version of Desperate Housewives! Wonderful pace and great dialogue! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

Jupiter Echoes wrote 847 days ago

BACKED

I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work.

Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters.

So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk.

There you are.

BACKED

Hope you reciprocate.

If you end up leaving a comment that adds value to Dream Diamond, I will return to your book and give it a thorough read and comment.

gillyflower wrote 884 days ago

An excellent, fast paced thriller with a strong central character. You start well, letting us get to know Melody in the course of her work, giving us some interesting action, and some personal reactions (the thong situation) which make her a living character straightaway. A Kinsey Milhone type of character, but none the worse for that, Melody is amusing and tough. Her relationship with Chris gives an extra zing to the background story. Dee is a good character, and your short sentences and short chapters keep the book snappy and easy to read. Your style is smooth and polished, and your pitch promises a gripping plot. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Katja Powis wrote 930 days ago

I'm thoroughly enjoying this - good dialogue, nice light touch - I'd buy this.

Clare Hill wrote 932 days ago

This is a great combination of detective story and chick-lit. Melody is a great character, reminding me a ltitle of Kinsey Millhone. MantlePeace is a great name!
Nitpick - end of chapter 3 'the site that was Dee...' should be sight.

Isabelle Adams wrote 942 days ago

This is good, and a better cover would make it more noticable, because it should be noticed. Engaging. Very engaging. The characters catch your attention from the start and the plot moves along at a great pace.

deltawriter wrote 946 days ago

You have some hilariously real insights here, tucked away in a detective story. Drunk men are harder to get rid of than roaches. The opening will catch any woman who reads it; the rest will hook any man who makes it past the thong (no pun intended).

Stuart Phillips
High Cotton

The Bevster wrote 947 days ago

Poor Melody...any woman knows what it's like to be in "thong Prison" - you convey that with such wit and humour.

Just the type of book that I love to curl up with ;o)

On the shelf.

Love Bev, x

Betrayal & Love OVerboard

Ayrich wrote 948 days ago

Judge not lest ye be, Eh? This is a great story. Melody,s self realization is what makes the story stand out. Shelved.

Venusu wrote 949 days ago

Opening paragraph: the perfect hook!! A disguise, ending in a thong dilemma. Men everywhere will be popping their eyes and women rolling their eyes!

I am totally drawn into this fun mystery.
Shelved!
V
Hawaiian Orchid

Shayne Parkinson wrote 951 days ago

A chick-lit thriller - what a brilliant idea! And it seems to me that you have a good handle on the fundamentals of both genres. We have the clothes, we have the food (though I'd like to see more chocolate), we have the good-friends-who-might-become-more. And we have a great cast of characters with (going by the pitch as well as what I've read so far) a complex plot that entwines them all most satisfactorily.

I've read five chapters so far, and plan on reading further.

Shelved.

Elaina wrote 951 days ago

Hello Janene

I have to be honest: 'chick lit' and I'm generally moving along the bookshelf...except on this site! Lead Me Not, however, is more than that (thank heavens). This is a ride with a strong and yet utterly believable MC, who happens to be a woman, and a pacy story.

Well done.

All the best
Elaina

ML Hamilton wrote 951 days ago

Janene,

Great female protagonist. Her voice is so real and authentic, I feel like I know people like her. I loved the way she took the pictures without letting on that she was doing it. This is the sort of female protagonist we need -- someone who's smart and forceful, and aware of her abilities.

The writing was very clean and fluid.

On my shelf,

ML

Sheila Belshaw wrote 951 days ago

Janene,

I liked this lively, fast-paced chick-lit thriller. Witty, contemporary, and a feisty female protagonist. You have all the ingredients here for a holiday novel with a fresh twist.

Good luck.

Backed.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Bob Steele wrote 951 days ago

Lead Me Not has an intriguing plot, which flows well. You have created a humorous and warm character in Melody, and this book should do well with your target audience. Backed.
Some polishing would make this even better, though. I skipped to C10 just to see how it read, and I felt the point of view was distant and made the narrative a bit stilted; you place it in the first person, but you are telling me what 'I' [the character] am doing and seeing, rather than putting me inside her head and showing me - I'd like to feel my teeth rattling and my worry about the repair bills as I drop into the potholes rather than being told the road is full of them. The dialogue is good, but would be even tighter and faster flowing if you cut down on the qualifiers ['he said with a flirtatious tone' and the like.] Show him flirting, don't tell me. Hope this helps; good luck.

Marko wrote 951 days ago

This is great fun, Janene. Backed and still reading.

Marko (Brief Encounters)

InternetG33k wrote 952 days ago

Hi Janene,

What a great way to meet a character - right in the middle of a "Maury-Baby-Mama-Drama" insurance fraud investigation! Your opening line is great - I immediately want to know why this person is wearing a disguise, and from the description I know it's going to be something interesting. From there, you drop us right in the action - the dialog and the scene both ring very true. Then in Chapter Two when do the getting-to-know-you exposition bits, I'm happily reading along, because I'm already connected to your character. The banter between Chris and Map (love the nickname) sounds spot-on as well - I get the feeling there will be a definite "will they or won't they" thread running through the rest of the story. I could easily see this being a popular series of books - assuming, of course, that you plan to write more with the same characters. Excellent stuff and on my shelf!

~Traci
Tangled Web

C W Bigelow wrote 952 days ago

Janene,

Very humorous - great potential for a enticing new detective - fast paced, enjoyable read. Shelved. CW (To Save the Sun)

Suzanne Adams wrote 952 days ago

Lady detective story's are their own genre so well done for coming up with a new heroine. Nicely light and humorous touches make for a pleasurable read.

Lorelli wrote 952 days ago

Hi Janene

This is great - witty narrative, engaging mc, quick paced action.

Shelved :-)

Best wishes
Lorelli (The Man Whisperer)

HScott wrote 953 days ago

HI! I was hooked immediately..great story, great female lead, realistic dialogue, good twists that make chick lit a little spicy...backed..

H. Scott
Distorted Images

TheLoriC wrote 953 days ago

How ironic...I'm a chick, but normally into chick lit. However, this is one book I enjoyed immensely and deserves a spot on my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Foxy Crystalwood wrote 954 days ago

First, excellent choice for title. Second, your synopsis begs a read and the premise, although done before, always makes for a great story. The dialogue was realistic and your writing flowed easily from prose to dialogue to prose. Not an easy feat. But easy for me to shelve and back. Best of luck with it. ~Foxy Crystalwood, Chasing SANE

T.L Tyson wrote 954 days ago

Oddly enough I was about to write virtually verbatem other things that people had wrote.
I hate that when that happens.
I love your MC's voice, it is clear and doesn't change.
I noticed a lot of your sentences started with I, this tends to make paragraphs more choppy if they are overdone and unfortunatly disrupts the flow. It is easy to remedy by simple twists, for example
I nodded and held up my index finger...
Could be: Nodding at him I held up my index finger letting him know.
This is just a suggestion. And a minor one at that for your writing is quite good.
Backed.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

paxie wrote 954 days ago

Janene

Your MC Melody is a gutsy character. A few nits.

stilettoes 'for my feet' I'd delete,:- 'for my feet',,,,,,where else would she put stilettoes?

The thong......Go to the ladies, whip the bloody annoying thing off, stick it in your bag, and GO COMMANDO, I say !!!!!

I love the name Porche....Have never heard it before......

Last line first chapter.......I tried to convince of as I drove away into the night.......'typo' of as ???

A racy paced piece which I enjoyed enormously. All the best of luck...Would love your take on mine....I think you'd like it....(cant say that to everyone) Shelved.

Cait wrote 954 days ago

Lead me Not:

Janene, I normally don’t read chick-lit but found this a most enjoyable read. Characters are well drawn and your MC is likable. Poor her, she sure seems tortured with that thong. :o.

Writing is very good an it just flows from one para to the other.

Have just had time to read the first chapter and it makes me want to read on. :)

Will make a spot in my shelf for this.

cáit ~ Muckers ~

Jill H. O'bones wrote 955 days ago

Great character! And story.

Backed

Jill

Andrew W. wrote 955 days ago


Lead Me Not

Hi Janene,

What a great character she is, sassy, no-nonsense and assertive. Also a fast-paced and very engaging story, you write well, engagingly so, drawing us straight into the action. No preamble or writerly naval gazing, your words are doing story and they do it well. This character, methinks, has more than one book in her, she is such a strong heroine, the light touch of the prose and the observational qualities that shine through make me realise what a great people watcher you must be. Thank you for the opportunity, a great read. Best of luck with it, backing this soon, if you have time to swing by my book I’d be grateful.

Best wishes
Andrew W.

Jed Oliver wrote 956 days ago

Janine, I think you have a winner here. Your heroine is likeable in a Stephanie Plum sort of way. I think the opening is great. Got my interest immediately. Best Luck. Shelved jedward (Brünnhilde)

Very good first sentence: “My disguise was almost perfect.” I would suggest adding a hard paragraph break after that first sentence, deleting “Almost”, and starting the second paragraph with “I had carefully picked out a…” & etc. The part about needing to do a panty shift in the middle of a crowded room made me laugh. The scene that follows n the dance club is well-constructed and spiced up with just the right amount of visual detail.

The second chapter sheds further light on the main character’s profession: she is a private investigator with an office in one of the seedier parts of Columbus. At the moment he is working on a case involving worker’s compensation but it’s clear that her ambitions will take her much further…

All very engaging and entertaining so far. Thanks for posting this!

tojo wrote 956 days ago

I have to be in full agreement with most of the comments below. A well crafted, well written book, with every thing one could ask for in a thriller crime fiction book. I read up to chapter 14 barely lifting my eyes from the page, only time caught up with me and had to finish. This is a winner and well pleased to have this on my shelf.

soutexmex wrote 957 days ago

I read the first couple of chapters. You seem to have this genre down as the pacing is spot on. Nothing really leapt out of me as being wrong. You are a competent writer.

But what really think you can improve on are those pitches. These are sales tools. You gotta reedit these things and make them tighter. SELL us as to why we need to read your story, especially the casual passerby.

Either way, I do like the story and because of that, I am BACKING you. Good luck!

I do look forward to your comments on my book if you have not done so already. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

C.P. wrote 957 days ago

Short, spunky, and a little sneaky, what a main MC. Nice pace and an easy style to read. Can see being read on a hot beach somewhere. Good luck, on my shelf. C.P

Jo Ellis wrote 957 days ago

A chick lit thriller, like the sound of that. I like reading about a strong female MC written in a smooth easy to reas style.

All the boxes are checked here!

Backed

Jo xx

Spoilt

cara_ruegg wrote 957 days ago

i really loved this and the beginning got me quite hooked b/c i was like oo do we have a spy on our hands now?
anyways, only one nit was in the way beginning where you say how she also wore her fake eyelashes. i thought it kinda broke off the flow but that is only my opinion and it's a pretty small nit anyway. overall i really liked it and will come back to read more when i have more time on my hands. xx -Cara

Bradpete wrote 957 days ago

I used to have a pair of boxers shorts that were so tight it felt like I had just sat down on some cheesewire! I would imagine an uncomfortable thong would have the same effect and so, without feeling at all guilty, I fell for your brashy, bubbly party animal. Dressed to kill indeed!

The dialogue is fast paced and witty, the writing sharp and forthright. Happy to back with pleasure!

Pete

dave_ancon wrote 957 days ago

I really like the way you present your work. Thinking you're a pro, and to confirm my suspicions, I went to your page looking for your blog, but found none. So, guess I'll just tell ya what I think about it, Janene, without knowing anything about you.
You are a very good writer. As I told my cardiologist just before he put stints in my heart, I suspect you've done this before. Your writing is beyond reproach, you present a good voice, you know the field work of an investigator, you've shown us a great premise, and the story moves along very well. Kudos to you for this piece. I'll gladly back this for you and I hope you get the representation you are looking for. -- Dave

Rob Bassett wrote 957 days ago

Very modern and sassy. Be careful that references to Sex and the City don't date or alienate readers.
Backed
Best wishes
Rob Bassett - Splinters

Urania wrote 957 days ago

Hi Janene, this is a great entertaining read - I thought your pitch and premise were excellent, your writing flows and I really liked your MC. This is a lot of fun and I think with such a great angle - the thriller aspect mingled with chick litty style, you've got a commercial success on your hands. Shelved with pleasure.

TJONES wrote 958 days ago

I like how you do details like she could see his nose hairs. and the thong issues. We've all been there with that one. This is a great book to just have a lazy day and read. keeping it on my list to read. Best of luck with this one.

Lovexlee wrote 958 days ago

Hello Janene!

Sorry I didn't comment when I backed! I was short on time. But on with the comment...

Your pitch is amazingly written. That alone captured my attention. I loved reading this. You have written a great narrative and it was fun to read. Your main female character has a strong personality and I really like how you wrote her, as well as the other characters. Your voice really shines through this piece.

It was very polished and I only noticed few errors:
Chapter Two
"I've have to keep.." - Replace ' I've ' with ' I'll '
"... what I'm up too." - Use ' to ' instead of ' too '

I was very impressed with your story! Great Job. Backed :-)

Simon Swift wrote 958 days ago

Janene
I really am enjoying this! Great characters, fascinating story and in places very humourus! Looking forwadr to reading much more! Meantime, shelved!
Simon

John Booth wrote 958 days ago

Hi Janene

Well written, sassy, clever, shelved!

Nice to see such a witty thriller on here, loved MantlePeace, what a fantastic name for a detective agency.
Your dialogue is excellent and this reminded me in places of the Stephanie Plum stories.

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Kim Jewell wrote 958 days ago

Hi Janene!

I wish this were in print already so I could take it with me on vacation next week! This is exactly the type of book I would pick up to read and enjoy - what a great combination - chick-lit with a crime thriller twist. You had me at your pitch alone!

I would suggest you consider sectioning your long pitch into multiple paragraphs - it'll make the material easier for the readers to digest, enticing them to read the pages of the book.

Other than that, I like this. You've got a wonderful writing style and the mystery you've started around Melody and her investigation makes me want to read to the end to find out all the answers! Great job - on my shelf.

Kim
Invisible Justice

John Brassey wrote 958 days ago

I am enjoying reading this. You really grab the reader's attention. I loved the end of Chapter 3 and just had to go on to find out why Dee Simons-Wellington wasn't what your character expected, - a great Chapter ending. I also liked the surprise when the party goer turns out to be under investigation for his bad back rather than for the infidelities that we all probably expect - a good twist. It is this sort of thing that makes a book readable and I am backing it. I wish you luck. John

Michael Croucher wrote 958 days ago

Hi Janene, great pitch and a great start; I was into the story before I knew it. I was Intrigued by your confident voice and style of writing, I think both are perfect for the who done it and the chic-lit genres. I will be reading on. Shelved
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

R.A. Battles wrote 958 days ago

Janene,

I’m back with fresh eyes and some comments and suggestions. Let me begin by saying your novel is a goody. The humor in the narrative and the dialogue is great.

I like your short pitch. It summarizes the STORY and immediately hooks the reader. If you will break up your full pitch into 2 or 3 paragraphs, readers will be able to follow the key PLOT points much easier.

CHAPTER 1

The words “wig,” “carefully,” and “wore” appear at least twice in your opening paragraph. You might think about rewriting it to eliminate some of the duplicity. This may sound trivial, but I think the mention of the 2B wig is so clever it needs to be placed at the end of the sentence.

Suggestion: My disguise was almost perfect. Almost. With my favorite hazel contacts and a pair of fake eyelashes, I had carefully picked out a straight long-haired 2B wig from the shop on Livingston Avenue.

Being vertically challenged (I’m only five-one), I chose stilettos for my feet, four inches of Choo perfection, which lengthened my legs. (Words within parentheses don’t work well in novels. I actually think this should be two sentences.

Suggestion: Being vertically challenged at five-one, I chose stilettos for my feet. The four inches of Choo perfection lengthened my legs.

But I had one problem. My thong. (Brilliant)

Maury-Baby-Mama-Drama times three (Great reference)

My only other suggestions are to try to avoid using “ly” adverbs (they tell rather than show). Try to eliminate as many dialogue tags as you can.

The following sentences from Chapter 3 are burdened with too many tags:

“Your ten o’ clock is here,” Nicole said.

I looked at my clock. It was nine-fifty. I picked up the phone. “Am I on speaker?” I asked.

“No, Ms. Peace,” Nicole responded, her voice the model of professionalism. I could tell by her tone, and the fact that she called me Ms. Peace, that our potential new client was near her desk.

“Okay, give me a few minutes to clear a few things up and I’ll come out for her.”

“I will let Mrs. Simmons-Wellington know,” Nicole said.

“Thanks. See you in a few,” I said before hanging up the phone.

(The easiest way to eliminate excessive dialog tags is to structure the action, movement, or mannerism of a character so it is obvious who is speaking).

All of my nits can easily be addressed with a little editing. By the way, I like your cover.

Rodney

Jane Alexander wrote 958 days ago

Hi Janene and welcome to authonomy. If Jared likes a book, I usually figure it's worth a read so toddled over to say hello and take a peek. I too like the mix of chicklit with crime - don't read enough in either genre to know if there's a lot of it out there....but doesn't chime bells. MC seems good, set-up seems polished. I did snag a bit on the thong episode - seemed a bit unecessary for a first chapter....at first I thought, am I missing something, - is this really a bloke in drag? Or what.... A mention is OK but it's a bit distracting.
But happy to give this a spin on my shelf (back it)....
Have fun, hope you enjoy the site.
Jane
(Walker)

Jared wrote 958 days ago

Janene, not sure about the cover. It looks a tad insipid on screen, white background, white screen. I appreciate this isn't the medium for which the cover was designed, but first impressions count.
I like your pitch, but I'd suggest splitting the solid block of text into smaller chunks; adding a couple of spaces will make it so much more readable.
That's the critical bit over. I can't fault your style, I liked it very much. Your female PI, "vertically challenged" as well, is a good strong character and you have a writer's voice that is well suited to this type of book. You're offering chick lit with a crime background which ticks a lot of boxes.
This is an enjoyable read and I'll be back to read more.
Welcome to Authonomy. Rather than cluttering your comments box you might try using the message box to reply to a comment, unless you think your reply should be seen by all of course. You'll find the message box on the home page of the person you want to write to.
On my shelf.
Jared (Mummy's Boy).

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