Ice Charades: Penguins Behaving Badly and Other Follies From the Road

Simply a pleasure. Backed.

This is charming. I really got into it. Keep up the great work!

Dear Jenny,

This may sound arrogant, but I'm browsing to find superior writing. I like to encourage writers with talent and hope, of course, to call attention to my own novel. Your clever title caught my eye, your pitch promised originality, and both drew me to the text.

I wasn't disappointed--in fact, was pleasantly surprised. My own reading has barely touched on YA, but after all, writing is writing. To the extent that I can imagine your audience, I'd say your chances of reaching and entertaining them are excellent. Every word is clear and I already have a keen image of your main character.

My only suggestions are (1) that you slip in your character's name--say, where Siegfried first speaks--"Sue, I vant you to skate Kamila's penguin"; (2) that you choose a skating tune with a name more familiar than "Opus 36"; and (3) that you fill us in with a little information about how Sue got into this mess. The novel must stand alone, apart from the blurb, even if there's some repetition. If you can follow suggestion (3) with a light touch, it will dispel my impression that Chapter 1 is a bit thin.

My own novel, THE DOCTOR OF SUMMITVILLE, is for a mature audience, but this in no way precludes writers for teens. You might try it and let me know what you think. Meanwhile, ICE CHARADES is on my shelf.

Best of luck, Bill

This is such an absorbing story, especially for someone who has no clue about life working in an ice show. I really like your MC - I like her drive and also the way you show the reader her thoughts and feelings. You have an accomplished style, with a story that flows along nicely and realistic thoughts and dialogue onside. Great pitch and cover too. More than happy to shelve. All best, Emily (Aurora)

Hi Jenny.
I set out to read three chapters but ended up reading all you have up here. This is an easy to read story that interests me personally. Now I know whats going on behind the scenes and more importantly behind those costumes at Disney on ice. Well done. Backed and the very best of luck with it.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

Hi Jenny,
I really enjoyed this, it's entertaining and whitty and I loved your style. I have little doubt that this will do well - shelved.
Good luck,
James (The Lycetta Legacy).

great and probably unique opening scene (is there likely to be another novel which begins with penguin-costumed ice-skating dancers?? i don’t think so) – and this works well as a prologue to draw us on .

confident, quality prose, sharp wit and good momentum... this is a well-paced read with a vast and interesting cast of characters, vividly drawn, and some acute observations (“sometimes i thought the only reason we had lasted two years was because neither of us had found anybody else”) .

the premise is strong and promises an entertaining romp through the lives of a competing & yet supportive group of people, thrown together by necessity in unfamiliar country and ruled by the harsh Siegfried .

i’m putting this on my rotating shelf for a spin .

freddie
("honour")

Insights into other peoples 'enclosed' worlds are always a fascination. Then there is the young romantic view of skating. I can see this work having enormous appeal probably to quite a specific age and readership.

Read chapters 1, 4 and 6. Wonderful and funny read.

Backed

Jill

I really wanna read this but I can only comment on the pitches as for some bizarre reason this weekend we are unable to read any book on the website. Both pitches actually worked for me, which is a rarity for me. If you want, you can check out my pitches as how to SELL this story to the casual reader.

Sometimes you only have one shot to grab that person's attention. For now I will SHELVE and come back around when I am indeed able to read what you have posted. If you get the chance, would like your comments on my book, but only if you want to. No worries if you can't. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

The Penguin opening is a hoot. This book is exceedingly interesting with its back stage look at the ice skating entertainment field. I'm thinking it might make a great television sit com. All the little tid bits you know about that go on behind the scenes. Best wishes with this. I'm backing it today.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

Hi Jenny, Vivid in dialogue and the inside of the off-stage. As a fan of TV ice skating and a Minnesotan, I liked identifying with this performing artist. The penguin opening served well as prelude to the nitty-gritty dynamics of the troupe. Those scenes are written with focus, the skaters interacting like other performing artists when I haven’t encountered them in literature before. The crafting is strong, giving vignettes, and the main story revealing. Shelved – Kathering (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Jenny this is great, really good fun. The scene with the penguin suit is almost like a scene from Bridget Jones, infact even the tone of the piece reminds me of her funny attitude towards things. Its a really interesting book, very funny and not the normal chick lit stuff you get. Its on my shelf.
Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Snappy dialogue - I liked this a lot.

Stacy
A Grand Murder

Hi Jenny, this is a great fun read, lovely flowing pace and style. good dialogue too - hugely important for this genre. I would have liked a little more of the 'lurve' interest to be hinted at for the chick lit angle, but otherwise, this is a great entertaining read. Shelved.

Ice Charades: Penguins Behaving Badly and Other Follies from the Road

Hi Jenny,

I love this idea of this, the prose is smooth and easy to engage with and the intricacies of trying to manage a tall penguin costume that smells so disgusting is not an area of life I was previously aware of. There is a lovely comical lilt to your words, tongue firmly in cheek. I really am not qualified to comment on chick-lit but I can say that your writing did the job well and the penguins came alive for me. Not sure when the love interest is meant to kick in in a chick-lit story but I wondered if it might need to be a little sooner. Thank you for taking me so effectively into a world I'd never experienced or considered before. One final thought, what's wrong with Badly Behaving Penguins for the title. If you have time to swing by my book I would be grateful, feels like I am swimming uphill at the moment.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Great premise! This is a good way to show the other side of ice shows the general public doesn't get to see. The first few chapters were amazing and this book deserves a shot on my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Hi Jenny

Loved the prologue. There's something immensly funny about a skating penguin. The first couple of chapter were fun too - shelved

I never feel qualified to crit Chic Lit and I didn't spot any spelling mistakes or obvious errors. Perhaps chapter 3 needs a little more conflict/action/events.

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Hi Jenny, This was a lot of fun to read! Your prose is succinct and flows splendidly. On my shelf. JupiterGirl.

Hi Jenny!

This is a very fun book! Nicely written, great premise - should be a best seller for the female audience!!! Great job - on my shelf!

Kim
Invisible Justice

What the audience doesn't know..... This was charming, bright and funny. The reader skates right into the story. I don't even have any nits. Well done and on my shelf. C.P

I love this story, you got me from the beginning with the like 'dragged her off like road kill. I'm going to keep this on my list to rotate it on my shelf. Good luck with this project.

I really like the premise for your story. The writing is well done. I especially like the manner in which you've weaved the snippets of humor into the narrative and the dialogue.

Shelved
Rodney

Nicely done. Some funny situations. Good balance of narrative and dialogue. Dialogue drives the plot well. Nice character development. Checks all the boxes. Shelved.

Your book sounds cute, I'm going to read a bit and will come back with comments later.

Jenny

Not sure about the title.....At first I thought this was a childrens book.....Of course, it's anything but.......

This is my cup of tea, I didn't skim over a single word....Well written with an even balance of narration vis a vis dialogue.....A snazzy read.

..Ice Shows are very popular both sides of the Pond at the moment....It always helps promote an idea when there is a bit of a lever leaning your way on television.....

Best of luck......(think you'd like mine, similar sense of humour)

I read your prologue and then through to chapter 3. Your first sentence is a winner and the text is engaging. I did notice that you sometimes use passive voice, and that distanced me from your main character just a bit. Example in chapter 2 at the opening (had reserved, was grateful, had raced, had watched) -- action verbs here would bring the scene a bit more to life. The dialogue in this chapter is good, and I liked the last line - definite page turner.

Overall I found this fun, and definitely the type of thing that I would buy. Best of luck.

"Two of the Eskimos had to drag her off like some kind of road kill". LMAO. This is a short intro chapter, but hilarious and promising. You had the accent down as well. I would end with "I got fined the equivalent of six dollars and settled for a stale baguette for dinner". It would be stronger. But I love it otherwise! Shelved and backed for hilarity. ~Foxy Crystalwood, Chasing SANE

I loved this. I found myself smiling as I read. Pleasant but humourous.
Well done.
shelved,
Barbara

Your writing is highly readable and your opening prologue is funny and original.You have some great lines. e.g "Jack preferred seeing me etc" . However, I had a few problems and you must take these as coming from an amateur. I thought the pasta "asleep" on the face didn't read right. Siegfried's accent could start to grate with readers. I know that you are painting a comic character but that's my thought. Finally, after the promise of the prologue, we got two chapters of going to Switzerland and starting with the group. I expected some comic moments but they didn't really arrive. Again, these are an amateur's comments. Your writing is very good. John

Jenny,
Welcome to authonomy.
Through 3 chapters I find your characters real and likeable.
Your writing seems clean, and well done.
Good job,
I'll find a spot on my shelf.
MickR - The Nightcrawler