Emerluvly

Emerluvly

Hi Philip,

This is a very exciting piece of writing, what an interesting and distinct premise and a well described pitch but it isn't until you start reading that you experience the true originality and brilliance of this work. Now I know this site is often criticised for the positivity of the reviews, but this one will be truly radioactive and not because I want you to comment or back my book, but because this is truly a special and different piece of writing. Original, strong, what a voice, you play with the rules, ignore them, make up your own, write irritatingly long and convoluted sentences, but it works, it absolutely works because it is about voice and you have created one here, an interesting, original and engaging one. I loved this, backed, right now, and that is ahead of the queue on my watchlist, well done Philip,

One the best things I've read on this site, well done.
Best wishes - Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Emerluvly.

Philip,

Reading your work today has confirmed in my mind that a really good novelist is first and foremost a poet. The sentences have that indefinable sense of rhythm that comes not only from good syntax but a feeling for the words themselves. Throughout the chapters that I read, not once did a single word jar. But that sounds too negative - everything I read had this wonderful lyrical resonance that stays in the mind like a song.

I love the characters and the conflict their different personalities throws up. This is indeed an original piece of writing and I hope it will find its way quickly to a publisher's desk.

Backed with great pleasure,

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Now, this I like. It is so contemporary East End...edgy, sharp, individual and ground-breaking. The characters are very different to any I've met on Authonomy before and the subject matter is not only original, but important in today's society. Well, we've had Jack the Ripper. Now we've got Fitz the Hugger...love it. Backed.

I'm thinking James Joyce here, Philip, with maybe a little of Molly Bloom on the Hill of Howth. It's great - I love your style of writing and this is a fantastic story. Your poetic leanings make Emerluvly one of the most enjoyable stories I've read on the site, and I'm very taken with your characters. Backed with pleasure and lots of luck in the market - this is, in my view, very publishable. Phil Rowan (Weimar Vibes)

It seems that this work has been abandoned on Authonomy, but I felt the need to comment anyways in case the author returns. The pitch pulled me in, seeing as how I myself prefer the internet to reality, and the story kept me hooked. Very entertaining writing style. Best of luck to you!

Why doe sthis have a red arrow? Excellent writing and a perfectly executed storyline. Backed 100% - If I were a publisher Id be dialing your number right now.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Dear Philip, I love you story - it reminds me of "The Three Faces of Eve." Yours is extremely well done. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

This story is the interesting exploration of two women, set against the backdrop of London. Emily, Shelby and Graham are all good characters. I enjoyed this read a lot. Burgio (Grain of SAt).

A very interesting idea, very well executed. Backed. Tania, This Last Summer

Hi Philip. This has a very intriguing premise and grabs you from the word go. Your descriptive narrative makes this for me as we find ourselves surrounded in East End charm, wit and urbanisation. This is truly distinctive and with a contrasting modern stance, this has the potential to be a classic. Backed.

I think this is a book that needs to be written. These days people are so obsessed with the cyber world [she said, typing on an internet site ha ha] that they are drifting apart in the real world. At first I admit I thought 'what's he talking about hugs like that for?' but soon I was drawn into the story. Perhaps a bit more dialogue would break up the description, but I suppose the point is that people aren't talking to each other much in this story. Watchlisted in the queue for backing.

That first chapter is a winner! My God, I've felt the same about hugs and thought there must be something wrong with me (maybe there is, but, whatever). Bottom line being -- I won't hug just anyone. I save a lot of things for people close to me, people I let in. Or that's how I'd like it anyway. And then proceed with the novel post-chapter one in a magnificent way. This is so oddly intriguing (and comforting)!

Jeff Sinclair
No Heaven

I laughed at your rant about hugs. It is well thought out and put together. The twenty five old farts comment was good, they are everywhere. Emily and Mr. Burgess – this type of hug happens everywhere. This is very funny and I would enjoy reading this on a train journey home from work. I will back it with pleasure.

Tony
Life Bringer

Emerluvly is an imaginative and challenging piece of writing that, based on the pitch, tackles important issues of relationships and identity in the context of today's society and technology. I read chapters 4 to 6, and you evoke your characters and their environment with exuberance in a writing style that seems well suited to the 'literary fiction' genre. and so deserves backing.
This is not my usual genre, so my following remarks on editorial issues need to be taken with caution accordingly. Many of your sentences are very long and complex - for me this slowed the pace and distracted me from the story, and you could easily break them into crisper, simpler sentences to overcome this. Some of the descriptive phraseology seemed over-elaborate [eg ..provided a.punch to the spectrum of concentric astrals of colour contained in the irises of her hazel eyes] - IMHO this again slows things down and distracts where a simpler description would suffice and move the narrative along. I also had trouble in C4 with inconsistent points of view, where I seemed to be dipping in and out of Emerluvly's thoughts while predominantly looking at the scene as a somewhat distant observer. These are all relatively minor issues and nothing a good editing 'polish' can't fix.
Overall this was an interesting and distinctive read, with the promise that subsequent chapters when completed will weave together the different threads outlined so far. Good luck.

Hi Philip,

Challenging certain norms is always intriguing writing! I'm sure this will garner a lot of attention.

Best of luck.

Michael Drakich
Grave Is The Day

Hi Philip. Saw you on the forum. Seems you've got your numbers back. I checked to see if I'd read your book and found that I hadn't. So, while I'm here, might as well read it.
The pitch gives a very good idea of what to expect. Nice job on that.
As for the book, itself, I read 4 chapters, not really enough to get into the meat of the story, but enough to see that your writing is superb. The narrative is smooth, easy to follow, funny, very descriptive and just a damned fine job in my opinion. I find nothing to crit. I just think your style is marvelous. Character are very well defined and how you can go on and on about 'hugs' and keep it entertaining is great.
Anyway, all in all, excellent. I'll gladly back this. On my shelf.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Lately, I have given up backing things outright because so many people simply take it and run.

I enjoyed your meditation on the hug and the incompetent Museum Director who loves to give them. The writing is first rate.

I would be happy to back it if you'll have a look at Moonbeam Highway and give it what you think is its due. I concerns a very similar social type.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway

Philip, this is so different from anything else I have read on here that I feel it is bound to be a success. Very original and almost poetic writing. I love your descriptions of hugging and found myself laughing out loud. I really enjoyed what I read. Backed with pleasure. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

Hi Philip, this is really funny writing. I loved the first chapter as it is exactly how I feel about hugs, I'm not comfortable with them at all and I don't understand why people feel the need to throw them around. People laugh at me when I say this but now I can point to this story. The second chapter is really good, you have a great way of getting comedy from detail. Your description of Fitz Burgess is brilliant and his love of the ladies is well written, really funny stuff. I don't know if you have ever seen the film, "The Snapper" it's an Irish film written by Roddy Doyle, when Emily blurted "Mistah Burgess" that film jumped straight into my head, the characters are not similar in society rankings but are very similar in nature, it's a funny crossover, you should have a look at the film. Really strong writing and some great comedy so it's on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

You have an easy, flowing, chatty writing style that carries the reader along with the story. Great characters with a wonderful taste of humour that makes for a pleasant and amusing read.
Shelved,
Carole

Having just endured a weekend of unwanted hugs I plugged into this right away with an indulgent smile. Chapter 2 confirmed my worse fears about the perpetrators of the hugs. They are what we used call in my American youth “creeps”-- borderlining on perverts. Having said that, I’m not sure about the overall structure of the book. As I read on it was beginning to sound a bit too much like commentary and not enough like story. Would like more scene setting and dialogue.

Still, I’m backing this for its originality and hoping for the best. Dana

Emerluvly.

Philip,

Reading your work today has confirmed in my mind that a really good novelist is first and foremost a poet. The sentences have that indefinable sense of rhythm that comes not only from good syntax but a feeling for the words themselves. Throughout the chapters that I read, not once did a single word jar. But that sounds too negative - everything I read had this wonderful lyrical resonance that stays in the mind like a song.

I love the characters and the conflict their different personalities throws up. This is indeed an original piece of writing and I hope it will find its way quickly to a publisher's desk.

Backed with great pleasure,

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Oh goodness this is funny. I'm hugger. Hopefully not the kind of hugger that makes people run away! I enjoyed what I read so far and I like your writing style. Different. I like different.
Nice job.

Backed by SD Gillen

i am cressida among the greeks. your book is backed.

it was lovely to read something so light in touch and original with acute human observation. the first chapter (IMO) needs one last sentence to take us into ch 2.

sp. flame instead of blame? first para.

xx
m
THE ETON MOTHERS' HANDBOOK

I love juxtaposition of the shallowness of the revolting old lecher, with Emily. Someone who reveals so little of herself in person, but reveals so much more of herself online. Where she has a devoted following. This is a very clever piece of writing. I hope one day I have the privilege of reading to the end. Gladly backed, Jacqui Christensen (William's Revenge)

good rythm to your writing, which opens up what promises to be a fine story. Characters are lifelike in precisely deescribed world, and their is a tighteness to your prose that i find enviable. Good luck with this. A worthy read and one that did not disappoint.

BACKED

Philip - I enjoyed the originality of Emerluvly and thought it fulfilled the promise of your excellent pitch. I am backing the book as i think it has a future. i liked the opening paragraph all right but thought the first chapter did not entice me on - perhaps you don't need it at all. Having spent a lot of time in both Britain and America, I found the mixture of British English and American English expressions idiosyncratic and could be confusing for readers on either side of the Atlantic. What, for example, would Americans make of your reference to 'A' level Maths? But I backed it enthusiastically because I enjoyed its freshness and topicality. Tacitus (Where Truth Lies)

This is a very original and clever piece. Some great observations, and funny too. Read to chap three. I really liked the hugs in chapter one, made me laugh. The 'I couldn't give two shits age of sixty,' great one. There's plenty of other good rants. Backed, good luck with this.
Charlie

Dear Philip Crippen,

The first line of your long pitch struck a chord with me, “lost in the ‘post-personal’ human age.” This is a topic on people’s minds because all to often we’re sacrificing face-to-face relationships to interaction via electrons. (This site being a debilitating example.) Again, I do love that line. Have you considered placing it in your short pitch?

I also am eager to read about the network diva who juggles 300 internet friends. Graham’s sentence-long paragraph struck me as out of place, in my fallible opinion. Your prose is poignant enough without the exclamation point, and your pitch might flow better if you wait to introduce Graham until after we see his relevance to the two women, so, at the end of the second to last paragraph. We probably don’t need to know he’s a photographer yet. And I love your pitch’s last paragraph.

The voice of your first paragraphs swept me into the story. Sorry I got caught up in your pitch, but it is important, and when a project interests me as much as yours, I want it to shine its brightest. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling
Ghost Warrior, the Stealing

There is a Joycean rumbunctiousness to the language - this is clever, witty, life-affirming.
Shelved,
Frank

I really enjoyed this funny interesting read. I read the first three chapters and they flowed really well. Backed.
The very best of luck with this.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

This has been on my site for a few days--it is an example of Authonomy frustration-I really need to be able to sit down with this book in my hands and be able to think about it as I read. Tis very well done.
Barbara
The Sea PIllow

I liked the title and the pitch so carried on - and on - reading. Great fun and thought-provoking too. I did feel chp 1 would be better without paragraphs 2 and 3 - these didn't add anything for me, except padding, preventing the story from getting underway. The characters are very strong - don't we all know a Fitz..?! - and the descriptive passages enjoyable as well as illuminating. Shelved with great pleasure, Carolyn.

Philip, this has been on my shelf for a few days - apologies for not dropping by before to say how much I have enjoyed what I have read. You're a writer with ideas, and one who has the ability to do something special with those ideas. Which is a great combination.

Very best
Dan

I absolutely love your writing voice. Very conversational. Almost as if we, the reader, were sitting around chatting with -- or actually just listening to -- you, the Writer. If I had any constructive criticism to offer it would be to mind your use of commas. Some of the sentences might actually read better were you to finish the thought with a full stop.

For example -- and it's a small one at that --, in your opening paragraph you write "But this isn't always the case, in fact hugs are often the complete opposite of pleasant, as in uncomfortable, or offensive, or nauseating, or even repulsive."

This might actually read slightly better as "But this isn't always the case. In fact, hugs are often the complete opposite of pleasant. As in uncomfortable. Or offensive. Or nauseating. Or even repulsive."

You keep the inherent humor in the thought, but you give the reader an opportunity to digest and then move on to the next thought.

Regardless, I greatly enjoyed what I read. You have an enviable imagination with the story-telling chops to bring it off.

Good work.

Jonathan
MARTUK ... THE HOLY

This is quite the entertaining story. You have a good use of humor and I think you've created some interesting characters. This isn't the normal genre I read, but I like it. Backed.

This is funny quirky humour. You cannot read this book with a long face.
Well done and going on my shelf.
MickR - The Nightcrawler

Polished and flows wonderfully.

Backed with pleasure.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

An amusing and interesting book. Lots of funny ideas and lines, for instance, ' - like a mole trying his luck with glasses - ' but also lots of imagination, and a really clear grasp of modern lifestyle and idiom. Emily making her video is an amazingly accurate portrayal of the way this would be done, and you have a great ear for the speech of contemporary young people and in particular those who communicate by the internet. Graham is a very interesting, sympathetic and well drawn character, too. His terrible upbringing by Gramps, who insisted on regarding him as a 'retard,' is both funny and dreadful. I haven't found out very much about Shelby yet, other than that she has a crush on Graham as her teacher, but she seems all set to become an enjoyable character, too. I'll need to read on to see how the plot works out, but if it's in line with what I've read so far, it should be excellent. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

You have a unique voice and way of storytelling.

Your words flow beautifully and your work is polished.

There is nothing more I can add.... but

Backed

Jo xx

Spoilt

With great reluctance I had to stop reading, having run out of time for today, we all say we will come back and never do, this time I know I will, have to finish the last three chapters. To cut to the chase, this book is brilliant writing, as good as it gets, you read this, not skim through like a stone on a frozen lake. And so on my shelf firmly.

A very timely concept. Emily Shelby and GRaham seem to be everyone wraped into three charactes. Nicely done and on my shelf.

This is wonderfully original. It's warm, witty, clever and well-observed and the writing flows so smoothly. It's definitely for the page though, rather than the screen. which could explain why I felt the first chapter and a half were a little dense. I could see this being a cult classic. On my shelf. Angela.

Oh, man, I alternated between cringing, groaning, and laughing out loud while reading the first couple of chapters. I TOTALLY understood all the talk about hugs - how creepy they can be, especially when given by a man like Mr. Burgess, and how awkward they usually are.

Nothing to nitpick over. I like Emily's character. I can relate to her.

Shelved.
Andrea
The Key of Kilenya

Dear Philip,

Emerluvly: Captivated by the irresistable voice sounding through your writing and characters. From ... I - appreciate - your - work - hug ... to ...God help ya if you happen to be stuck waiting behind one of those gruel-brained beings at a 'Fast-Ticket' machine ... the Electric Elysium ... spellchecking water into wine ... and Emerluvly's talent in providing sensory experiences ... qualities that her subscribers could barely imagine.
Graham, the Retard, with an eye for the subject, composition and execution. It's too late to read on.
This swings with unfailing wit through the cyber heart and back, needless to say, I'd buy the book.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

This is just lovely -- smarmy, hip, irreverent, blasting holes in the sides of sacred cows that you could run a T1 line through. Chapter 2 made me think of my town's First Friday Art Walk -- yes, FFART walks. Then, the transition to the "other" world, the one where Lois Lane gets to put on her own costumer and flex HER powers for a change.

Excellent work, Phil. One of the most engaging things I've read in quite a while.
stuart phillips
High Cotton

Okay, so no hugs, tandem or otherwise. 'Bog-standard rocks Scotch blend' we're in the territory of original word combinations. Oh, and Fitz is a hugger, and we really don't like that, do we? Saved by the camera. 'Randomly fail to advance to the next slide' I'm laughing my head off here, though I suspect it's all a bit cruel to the for-whatever-reason-disadvantaged. Do I detect whiffs of tech support? But no, both sides get equally drubbed. 'Photoshoping loaves into fish' yep! (photoshopping? or is that UK, or don't spellings count with neologisms?)

An entertaining and erudite rant, underneath of which runs a deep channel of psychological and social insight into ever diverging worlds ... technology leading some over the horizon, leaving some behind, and never even having approached many. I enjoyed reading this very unusual work, Philip, and it's going on my shelf.

I think that, as someone a few years away, from 60, I will never hug a woman again! It's scary to think that one's hugs might be seen as so much lechery. Your description of everything surrounding them is so completely, so detailed, and so humorous that this is a book that just can't be put down. Reading your pitch, it seems to me that the material about hugs will be a counterpoint to the technology of today in terms of how things like Blackberries, email and more prevent human contact. Your first chapter on hugs is brilliantly written and also hilarious. Your second chapter with Mr. Burgess is brilliantly written and scary. You are able to write chapters of brilliant prose out of something that most writers would dispose of in one or two paragraphs. This is a publishable work of the first order. Shelved.

This is wonderful. I can't stop chuckling. Shelved. Sana

There is nothing better than a good british rant. All that stiff upper lip and pent up emotions make for the most interesting of rants. You delve into subject few have written about, the small, the mundane, the everyday. Things most readers will be able to relate to. I've not read anything like this on Authonomy and for pure originality I'm backing you.

Hello Philip,

As someone who has worked for Mr. Fitz Burgess, I can attest to how spot-on your story is. I laughed out loud in several places and even read a few paragraphs to my husband. "Hey Honey, doesn't this sound like my old boss ..."

Well done. Definitely worth a shelve.

Amanda

Those damn huggers. They should leave us surly bastards alone.

This is distinctive and engaging. I shall help this on its way. I wonder what HC will make of it? It's not genre-specific, is it?

Hi, Philip.

An interesting read on ‘hugger buggers’. :)

I enjoyed the first two chapters, and especially the second, it filled with lots of chuckles, and I’m looking forward to meeting the ‘real’ Emily.

…I could give two shits… Did you mean, - I couldn’t give?
…sixty years-old… Should this be sixty-years-old?

…like a mole trying his luck with glasses… :-D
…as Mr. Burgess’s rotund blazer would fan out like a gigantic vampire’s opera cloak, and smother the woman against his chest and waist… ‘Nother great image.

Emily had been hugged a few times by Mr. Burgess… How about, Mr. Burgess had hugged Emily a few times?

His arms widened, and their winged shadows fell upon Emily’s face and torso as she momentarily cowered… I’ve also had a couple of those horrible hugs. :o|

All the best, and already backed. Won't give you a hug. :oD

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

A wonderfully eccentric read. I only had time to look at chapter one today, but it left me smiling so I'm happy to shelve for further reading. Clare (Second Lives)