Timestand

Peter, fine writing. what I like most is that you don't write down to your YA audience. and you don't belabour the fantasy; it appears without being blaringly announced. kudos.
on my shelf.
not a quibble. and i usually have a few minor editing thoughts ;)
very best, andy

I loved the schism in the classroom, the floating classmates, and the headmaster dressed like Death. I especially appreciated the way Tim let his feet drag up the inanimate Brian's blazer, and then to propel himself forward, how he tapped his shoe against Brian's forehead. This scene appeals to the child in all of us, burdened with bullies, and imagining if time stopped, what we'd do to them. Backed yesterday. Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

When you are reading pure, natural, flawless writing, the genre makes no difference. The story captivates me, the characters ring true, the implausible doesn't feel so foolish. This is the rare children's book that adults can enjoy easily. As a teacher, this is the kind of book I'd encourage my students to read. Fabulous! Deserves to shoot to the top here.
Backed,
Ellen (Thoughts of a Teenage GIrl)

Peter, I will have to thank Nick Blake for referring me to Timestand.

What a terrific opening sequence! I loved the fact that the crook’s laces were tied together by the little blond boy. And then the bit about the tellers potentially torturing the hoodlum with their elastic bands. I laughed out loud and had no choice but to read on. Then, as the unfortunate window washer plummeted fourteen stories toward the ground, I found myself laughing again at the introspective thoughts he had on the way down. Thank God for the little blond boy!

Your slow-motion imagery is spot-on. I like how young Tim, changed things around when time stopped in the bathroom at school, or when he discovers the power he could wield simply by crossing his fingers.

Your writing is charming, thoroughly engaging, and it flows like quicksilver across the page—one of the best I’ve come across here on Authonomy. Congratulations!

I’m happy to back it.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH

TIMESTAND
What a great way to begin a story! A man falling 14 floors. A bank robber suddenly tied up and captured. Makes it obvious there’s a new superhero in town. The best surprise, tho, is to realize the super hero is just a kid. You have a good writing style for this type of story: it’s clear and crisp and always keeps moving your story forward. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

So far, I've read only chapter one, but I'm liking this and will put it on my WL until I can read more. I'm still new to authonomy so I've been searching for writers for same age group I'm focusing on: 10-14 year olds. If you have any time to take a peek at ESCAPE (fiction, fantasy), I would appreciate your feedback. I value insights from gifted writers, and from what I can tell, you do write well. Thanks, Georgia

Superior writing style. I have only read Chapter 1, but will come back for more. Backed and highly starred.
Best wishes, M
- Weekend Chimney Sweep or Happy New Year
- Sarajevo Walls of Fate

Hi Peter

I noticed this is on LULU so not sure how in-depth feedback you wanted in terms of typos/grammar etc etc, which is just as well since I didn't find any. I did find it a bit wordy in places, but nothing major. I liked the intro too. At first it sounded like he was in a conference or something, so I liked the twist of the heist. Great cover too.

Silva

Ch 2
This dab... 'Dr Moore who had been known to put a whole class in detention...' made me think of this place as being on authonomy feels like being in some hideous and undeserved detention. We try to do our best and end up stuck in authonomy, rotting away.

I felt this '...Twisting her heel as she did so.' I imagine many publishers and agents relish rubbishing writers in such fashion. Of course we will never suffer such a fate as we will never cheat our way into their presence as many on authonomy do. Only this evening I was supplanted by someone with more black heads among their backers than an acne-ridden teen.

The dab about froggy and the frog jumps made me smile, as did, 'Tim should have noticed the classic set up.' Hm, maybe we should have, too, before we joined this site! Not that i think it is a terrible place mind. But I often feel I have '...walked past her into an obvious trap.' here.

The drop of water moment was brilliant. I cld see it there 'about two inches below the tap.' Very strong that suspension.

Also like 'Suddenly the room reawakened into chaos.' and cld see that bar or soap shooting into Whitte'e eye.

'You're a slippery guy, aren't you?' Furioso *bows*

Also like 'at least we're not in detention' ... amen to that bros!

The best line of the chapter though is that arch last line, 'At least you did something to get punishef for.' O lor I have lived such a spotless life I have never been in need of punishment. Maybe i cld start by getting barred from fhis place. But somehow I don't think HC care enough about their love child anymore to bother about idiots like me.

Just for fun, I thought I'd post a review which I received. It's probably not fair to name the publishing house or the editor so I won't and have removed one sentence which would identify them. However, I will comment on the review...

**** REVIEW BEGINS ****

I had a chance to look at this and wasn’t quite overwhelmed by what was here. I think the premise is really cute, but I have to admit, the synopsis really confused me, and I was disappointed that Tim’s dad played such a big roll (sic). I would have wanted Tim to really have another kid sidekick. I also didn’t understand quite understand (sic) Henry’s role.

I must say, though, my biggest concern came from the sample pages – I just didn’t feel like there was a strong voice there. Tim’s character wasn’t pulling me along and I didn’t feel like I knew him at all, which struck me as worrisome.

*** REVIEW ENDS ***

*** AUTHOR'S RESPONSE ***
Firstly, I accept that the synopsis may well not be perfect but that is hardly a reason to reject a book - either it's worth reading or it isn't and the potential purchaser would never even see my attempt to reduce my whole book to a page.

Secondly, the main character does have a sidekick - in fact he has two - and they are both mentioned and named and described in the synopsis. Hmm - are you sure you actually read the synopsis which you're criticising?

Thirdly, why didn't you understand Henry's role? He's a fairly classic unhelpful shapeshifter type character whose motivation is left hanging in order to increase dramatic tension. It all comes out by the end and is reasonably spelt out in the synopsis.

Fourthly, the year 7 class which read the book LIKED the fact that the father had a role in the story. He's not a major character but he is there and, unlike Harry Potter, he's not dead. Do fathers have to be dead in YA fiction? Really? (And by the way, it's "role", not "roll".)

Fifthly, there is no come-back to a vague criticism about whether the voice was strong enough, nor is it possible to 'fix' this 'problem'. Does this mean that my whole writing style is no good and that I should find another career? If so, why not tell me that straight?

In conclusion - I know, it's petulant and childish to have a go at someone who bothered to provide more than a form letter and yet... Are these the people judging our work? No wonder all we seem to get are vampires and footballers' memoirs. I never said my book was a work of art or the best work of YA fiction ever written - but I have no difficulty saying it's no worse than a lot of drivel that's out there. With the backing of a publishing house (i.e. advertising), I reckon it would sell enough to at least pay for the advertising.

Slick writing.
There is nowt wrong with it that I can see. It canters along with a good natured economy.
Being of the poetic persuasion I cld not help enjoying the cadence of '...on a grey May Monday ... no one noticed Ray.'
And from a story telling perspective the robbery and the tumble from the basket offer much. I imagine some dull safety-first-suited-type in a publisher might bang on about 'In this difficult market I wld prefer that there was one focus in the lead chapter.' But such types have no heart and less sense.
My feeling is that publishers are populated by idiots. But that is neither here nor here.
Who is the dude with the blond hair? Clearly he runs with the angels I suspect.
My overriding impressing is that there is a generous spirt at work behind the words here and that the story will not lead us into dark places. The opener is witty and shows us as we are.
If you are pitching for the YA crew then I can sense that the notion of being some kind of omnipotent teen might well appeal. Will read more anon.

Orlando *bows*

You've got alot of conversing in this novel. Conversing is never boring. Your story line and plot is interesting. I'll check lulu.-backed.

Just the job for a Sunday read. Plenty of action, clever stuff and subtle humour. :)

A well-crafted fantasy with intriguing, relatable characters. Great theme. Engaging dialogue. Accomplished storytelling with emotional depth. Well conceived. Well written.

Funny, entertaining, great story, great concept.
Backing. And watching.

.This is very entertaining. I sometimes used to fantasise about this sort of thing,but you have shown me how it would have been fulfilled.. Good writing and very funny, Backed.

Peter, fine writing. what I like most is that you don't write down to your YA audience. and you don't belabour the fantasy; it appears without being blaringly announced. kudos.
on my shelf.
not a quibble. and i usually have a few minor editing thoughts ;)
very best, andy

This is great fun. I love the opening scenes that show us the results of Tim's actions. It's a good way to introduce his character and make us fascinated by him. Who is this kid? And how can he do what he does?

There's cleaness to the writing and a vibrancy that's appealing and fresh. The story shines through. No fancy, wordy gimmicks. This is just a perfect example of a good story well told. Something we all strive for.

I'm v happy to back this book. i can see it being published and selling v well. :)

Pete

Fresh and amusing with the justice we'd all liked to have administered at some point in our lives. Believable characterisations with a liberal mix of fantasy, provides an engaging story that entices the reader to turn the page. Nicely done.

This is a really fun read. The mischief of 'what will he try next' makes it virtually impossible to put this one down. Really good writing, with a great pace. Backed for sure

Dear Peter,
Your story sounds very familiar to me - I think I've already backed it once, but I'll do it again. I like the directness of your dialog. It moves the story forward very cleanly. You combine mystery and fantasy well. I think your cover art is really nice and matches your story. Well done!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book (already done -thanks!) and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

Hi Peter, Many thanks for backing "The Doctor of Summitville." I've read a few more chapters of your superb sci-fi/fantasy/mystery novel. Again wishing you well-deserved success, Bill

Dear Peter
Absolutley great short pitch
and your long pitch relly encouraged me to read on
I am glad I did
and just wanted to let you know, now finished.
I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise

Greetings Peter, I promised Nick Blake I'd back your book if I really liked it. Well, I do--and I will. It's fascinating, well written, and hard to put aside. The style reminds me of George Gamow's Mr. Tomkins series. Cool. I have to leave you for now, but will try to return for more of Tim's adventures and perhaps some clarification of how he manipulates time. I have one little suggestion. Since I couldn't find "balaclava" in my Webster, I suggest you change it to "ski mask." Would you like to take a look at my novel "The Doctor of Summitville," which will flash you back to the 1920s in America? You'll find it a realistic love story (not a "romance") and a picture of country medicine as practiced then. Thanks for a wonderful read. --Bill

Good pitch, original and arresting. First chapter to the point and not without wry humour. Second chapter believable and drawing us further into the plot. Well done. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

Hi Peter

I guess you don't need me to tell you how good this is. Really clever and professionally done. High concept pitch and the execution really delivers. I'm jealous. Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

I'm glad I stumbled upon this. Bizarre and interesting.

Benjamin Dancer
Fidelity

Terrific start!
Gripping in a nicely unusual way. The boy with blond hair has to be one of the most novel creations I have read since starting here. Only at the end of Chapter One but will be reading this to completion at the weekend to see what happens!
backed with pleasure.
Mick
Flirty Something

Interesting first chapter with a well written flow and nice scenario set up. It's a mystery where chapter 2 will take us, urging us to read more to find out why the man didn't die and who the blond haired boy is. Nice job! BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Hi Peter
I had to re read the first couple of chapters to make sure I got this at first. It's really interesting and a unique idea. You repeated the fact Ray thought he was being watched so I would lose one of those sentence. Soem great visual writing with lots of detail, but not so much it slows down the action. Great work.
DP Walker
Five Dares

I love your beginning! I'm starting to get some insight into the life of an agent, and if I read one more book that opens with the main character waking up, or dreaming... So thanks for your highly original opening. I have to say that I've never read a book here that begins with a bank robbery. The intrigue builds from there...the strangely tied shoes, the bag delivered to the police. I LOVE your premise here, that Tim will be using his time-freezing to change all sort of things and of course, I can't wait until he gets even with those bullies. This is expertly paced, with good dialogue and details. Watch for the overuse of -- in your prose; I think there's almost always a more solid way to punctuate this aside or pause. Good start though, definitely hooked me.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

This isn't just a book for children and young adults, it's a book which is great fun for readers of any age ... I found myself inexorably drawn on by 'just one more chapter' ... 'just one more'. It's the sort of skill we would all love to have, and in parallel with the reading we are thinking 'Wow, I know what I would do ...'
I backed it a few days ago ... just returning for another helping!
Best wishes.
RT

Dear Peter, I love your idea of freezing time - what a concept - Hezekiah asked God to have the shadow go back 10 steps. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy, so beware of any other untrue information you may receive:
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

I was browsing through the site and saw this on Huseyin Angay's shelf. He usually has excellent taste so I took a look. It didn't let me down. So far I'm loving it, and just stopped to say so. Not much help I know if you're after feedback rather than mere praise but I'm smiling too much to want to criticise at the moment. Thank you for a good read, and I hope this is published soon. Best wishes, Harriet

Quite funny.

I thought the language was a tad too complex for children, though -- not so much the vocabulary but the long and complex sentences. Young Adult, yes, but kids younger than twelve might balk at the longer sentences.

Some of the repartee between the kids was a bit too smartarse for my liking but others may find that funny, who knows.

You handled the transition from ordinary boy to time-stopper well in chapter 2. Of course, the bullying instantly connects us with Tim, as well.

One thing to watch out for: you introduced loads of names and faces straightaway in chapter 2. You have no doubt become very familiar with these characters, so it may be hard to remember that they are all new names for the reader. I had a hard time remembering who was who -- that may just be me, of course.

Before you think I'm just slating the manuscript, I actually liked it. There is a lot of creativity there and some interesting ideas, which will no doubt develop if I read on.

Best regards.
Huseyin
All Things Noble

This is a very clever book that doesn't feel the need to wear its cleverness on its sleeve. It's clever because it has worked out the rules of this fantasy-world, yes, but also clever because it has got into the head of its young protagonist so well. Tim is such a believable character that all the other stuff going on around him seems pretty believable too. This is a definite, definite hit, I would say, not least because of the humour in the book, actually - I'm backing you for sure.
Wishing you continued success and all the very best,
Kirsty (The Darkening Sky)

What a clever idea for a YA novel. This is something I think my brother would enjoy reading. Perfect for it's target audience. Backed.
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Entertaining and fun. The premise (stopping time) is so simple, yet I don't think I've seen it done quite as well as this. I think your short pitch could be polished a bit and the cover is, IMO, drab but the long pitch definitely engages my interest, and finishing with Fermat's last theorem is the zinger. Good luck with this one. Backed.

You have created a clever little world here, and the writing and narrative support it well. I have one critique to offer, and that's the number of times you begin sentences with pronouns -- seems like that occurred mostly during chap. 1. That habit causes a sameness in the sound and structure of sentences, so if you can recast them the writing will be even better over all. I can see why this is doing well, and I hope it continues. Happy to back.
Craig
The Job

this Will stir secret desires of those that read.
am Enjoying your writing - all the best.
Backing
UveBinSinged

i backed this book. It is perfect for all young adults. Please read my book as well. I think you will enjoy the story in my book as well. Thanks,
Robert J. Sherwood

I loved the schism in the classroom, the floating classmates, and the headmaster dressed like Death. I especially appreciated the way Tim let his feet drag up the inanimate Brian's blazer, and then to propel himself forward, how he tapped his shoe against Brian's forehead. This scene appeals to the child in all of us, burdened with bullies, and imagining if time stopped, what we'd do to them. Backed yesterday. Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Timestand is imaginative, skillfully crafted and beautifully written. The ordinary becomes the extraordinary. Very well done!

This is pleasantly different! I wish you the best with your writing and sincerely hope you never have to go back to working for someone else. I totally understand that.
All the best,
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

Here's what I love about your writing....I love it when writers add little things like the guy having coffee and danish on te third floor, or channel 5 showing the Eastwood retrospective. Those little things bring so much life to the story and this is one great story!

Lockjaw

Hello Peter. I really enjoyed the read. The fact that time had stood still was made apparent with the bank robber and the window cleaner. I got a little confused at first when the story went to Tim, as he'd only been mentioned as the blonde boy, but picked it up soon after. Maybe the beginning could be tod through his eyes too. Wish you all the best of luck with this! mariecapri

Hi Peter, I thnak you for the read and I thank our friend Nick Blake for refering me to this book..NO teenage children but its a good read. Bcoked. Harold Alvin (ICON)Wesley

Peter,
Time Stand has a great premise for young adult readers. Your depictions of student and teacher personalities and your presentation of dialog are spot on. The narrative has a quick-paced flow to it, and you've even set up a sequel in your final chapter. Great job!
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

Hi Peter,

This is a great premise for a young reader's book. The character development is excellent and your fluid writing style quickly captivates and then takes you deep into the book. This is sure to spark the imaginations of young readers everywhere. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Great book, great writing, happily backed and best of luck

Love the name of your main character. Oh yeah, the story is great too.

Backed and good luck getting that contract, either that or you'll have to get your daughter to pay you for looking after her....

This story is marvelous! I couldn't stop reading until I had finished chapter 4, then I had to quit to tell you how much I am enjoying it! I love this type of humor! Very best of luck with this, it's a riot! Backed. Best Regards, Jedward (Knut)

backed with pleasure

alison

This has been a hilarious read so far, brilliantly written. I can't wait to read more!

~Elizabeth Holly
(Phantasmagoria)