THE PARTISAN

Okay Chris, I read the four chapters. And then I went back and read the betweens. It’s now 2:05 am and I don’t think I could offer a higher compliment than admitting the amount of time I’ve put into your novel.

But, your novel is worth it.

This is good writing. I’ll tell you, I love novels set in wartime. I’m a huge fan of the genre. I think you’ve written a damn fine novel. It moves well. The writing is crisp. I do think you occasionally over explain. And I mean occasionally. It’s not often.

You know, I’m going to be a bit didactic here. This novel is too good to be falling in the numbers. You need to push it. It’s not spamming to tell people your novel is here. Every day new authors join and push everyone else to the middle. And every day new authors upload a new novel. They don’t even know your novel exists. You have to tell them about it. The only novels anyone notices are the 11 little avatars on the front page.

Oh and go get yourself a cover. Each time you put your comments on someone’s book - it’s a small advertisement for your novel. Yep. It’s a small literal commercial. And each time you get someone to back your book and put your picture on their bookshelf it’s a small visual commercial. You need a cover that is distinctive. Right now I have my little advertisement on 283 shelves. And you know why? Because it's 2:16 am and I'm still working it.

This is a fine and accomplished novel. Be proud. Get busy. Your ad is on my shelf.

Mark R. Trost
“Post Marked.”

i don't know enough to explain how, but you had me hooked from the first page. Well written, easy to read and I'm getting some great pictures in my head from the descriptions/words/phrases you're using. Great job.

Tense, engaging reading. I thought of the Film 'The Thin Red line' where observations were excellent, into the relationships between the various soldiers. The details you give us build up a strong visual, enough details for our imagination to run free but not to many. The scene with the landmine is disturbing and brilliantly written. Again another film with this kind of suspense is 'The Hill'. I will read more as I am gripped.
Christina
From Under the Bed

Hi Chris,

I don't usually read historical fiction, but I think you have a good story here. I've only had time to read the firs two chapters whicis enough to know that it's great writing. I did find it rather stange that you spent so much time developing the pov character in the first chapter only to have him killed off at the end of the chapter.

Also, when he is on his way to deliver his dispatches, you wriote that he is worried about a counter attack. For there to be a counter-attack there first has to be an attack.

Why no fires durin the daytime? That doesn't make sense as obviously the light of a fire is going to seen much easier in the dark.

Talking of fires, if none was allowed how did the officer manage to get hot water to make tea?

Smal things like this need to be explained but I do think you have the basis of a publishable story.

Ron

Hi Chris,

I don't usually read historical fiction, but I think you have a good story here. I've only had time to read the firs two chapters whicis enough to know that it's great writing. I did find it rather stange that you spent so much time developing the pov character in the first chapter only to have him killed off at the end of the chapter.

Also, when he is on his way to deliver his dispatches, you wriote that he is worried about a counter attack. For there to be a counter-attack there first has to be an attack.

Why no fires durin the daytime? That doesn't make sense as obviously the light of a fire is going to seen much easier in the dark.

Talking of fires, if none was allowed how did the officer manage to get hot water to make tea?

Smal things like this need to be explained but I do think you have the basis of a publishable story.

Ron

Always a sensitive subject--but you've included some things that were new to me in this story. Well written with a strong, authoritative voice, and a quick pace. Nothing to correct here--but I think you should try getting a cover put up :)

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

THE PARTISAN
This is certainly worth a read and it is my favourite genre. your research is excellent and this is tense and certainly holds the attention of the reader.
Your descriptions build on the tension and left me reeling as I really felt I was there and part of the action. A great read and deserves a backing. Well done
Faith
The Assassins Village

Chris,

what can I say? meticulous in your research and methodical in your approach.have read the first three chapters & am backing it gladly. Would love to see this & GET LENIN side-by-side in a bookstore.

Rob

I really enjoyed the little I read, for lack of proper time, I'll back it for that.

Hello Chris,

I love novels set during the war, and yours with it's slant. Your prose is tight and compelling. This should be doing better.
I suggest that you get an original cover to make it stand out from the crowd. Lots of books on here have generic covers and you might be missing out on reads becuse people think they've seen it before.

Am putting this on my shelf now. Good luck with it. Hope it rises in the ranks.

Joanna

Sympathetic treatment of a complex subject. I think it would become a very enjoyable book with a bit of spit and polish.

It may be useful to upload the text again as some of the formatting has gone awry. For instance, see the paragraph starting with 'He pulled up at the top of the next hill...' I suspect you have stray paragraph breaks in your original manuscript, which may not be visible if you formatted it by hand, rather than relying on the styles.
This gets particularly bad in Chapter 3 and onwards, with lines broken in the middle and so on. You need to let the word processor manage the text flow between lines, instead of doing it yourself. Tell it where the paragraphs end and let it do the rest.
A good tidy up is a drudge, but improves the readability enormously.

Some awkward turns of phrase.
For instance, '... the crumpled body of a soldier, his uniform still smoking, the one who had stepped on the mine.' The initial impression is that the uniform stepped on the mine. The reader's mind will quickly correct that, but it breaks the flow. You want want the reader to devour the lines in a story like this, not stop and reflect on sentence structure.

The scene with the soldiers hopping across the helmets through the mines should have captivated me more but I somehow felt a little detached. That may be partly because the action skips from one person to another, although Solov's at the centre. The switches throw the reader off a bit. The sad death of the despatch rider gets a bit lost because of this, too.

In the dialogue with Vatutin, I didn't get the impression that Solov had opened the letter or that it called him to Moscow. Could maybe make that more explicit from the beginning?

I like your treatment of the trains. That they always took S away from something or someone. Good potted history that doesn't hurt the pace at all.

Good job establishing Solov's credentials as a humane officer through all his conversations in Chapter 3.

Best of luck.
Huseyin
All Things Noble

Stalingrad: some of the hardest military moments carried out by the hardest people. In your opening chapter you not only focus on the fear and immanence of death, but you bring out the black humour of the soldiers involved, too. Excellent set-up, fine storytelling. It would be easy to info-dump on people, but you keep things sharp and fresh with the dialogue, and the action isn't over-cooked.

Pat Black
Snarl

Chris, Thank you so much for backing my novel Sea Level. I just took a peak at The Partisan and it's on my watchlist.
Nancy
(SEA LEVEL)

This story should be shooting upward, I don't know why the arrow turned red but my sense of fairness says it's gotta go up and up, all the way to the editor's desk, so I am backing based on merit.

I do see a nit or two, things that I expect will be covered with another edit. Dialogue is mostly set off goog but I thought I notice a place or two. A few issues with formatting/spacing. But the story is really good. I enjoyed the sense of "being there" in WWII Europe. Well imagined (or experienced?).

I would have liked to have read a little more in the "about me" as to how the author came to have special knowledge of these places/events.

See you at the top.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

Chris - hooked right up with Paval - always amazed by the good soldier - just keeps on going until.... Well written, good atmosphere throughout the first chapter. Backed. CW (To Save the Sun)

i don't know enough to explain how, but you had me hooked from the first page. Well written, easy to read and I'm getting some great pictures in my head from the descriptions/words/phrases you're using. Great job.

You writing demonstrates a firm grasp of the subject matter which too often is overlooked by authors trying to create a fictional world. Though I'm no expert in this genre, it seems you have a strong central character and plot trajectory.

Best of luck with this work!

Peace,
Christian Piatt
PULLING THE GOALIE

YOu obviously know your material well because the historical pieces are brought to life on the page. Your writing has a quality to it that smacks of a thoroughly crafted piece of work.

backed

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

I find the opening a little vague - In my own head I was trying to place where the Soviet troops were and the German divisions were in proximity to Stalingrad itself. From what I understand the Soviets clung to the west bank of the Volga and despite suffering appalling casualties managed to launch a two pronged counter-attack in November 1942. This was Operation Uranus, and it outflanked the Germans and cut them off inside the city.Cut off from supplies and dying from starvation and with very little ammunition and the winter coming in, the German 6th army capitulated in February 1943. It was a striking victory and a turning point in the war it is estimated that more than 2,000,000 people lost their lives - just mind blowing really. I do like your down to earth style and likewise I consider it important to switch POV in order to get a grasp of the problems facing the various individuals. Naturally having only read a small portion of your work I wondered if you gave a perspective form the Germans POV? Well done - Jack (Soldier Blue)

Dear Chris
What a good book. I started reading this some time ago and just wanted to let you know, now finished. I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise

Dear Chris, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your book, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed unedited memoir version, "Tell Me True Love Stories?" I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
Here is the response I received from authonomy concerning backing:
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Hi Chris,

An interesting premise and a fascinating storyline.

Cheers Philip John

Ah, your spare prose is so refreshing to me right now. There's something to be said for a simple style, that says much in the way of innuendo. Let the dialogue speak for itself; choose details that mean something, and leave it at that. Enjoyed this immensely; powerful writing.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

I started reading and so far I really like it. Good blend of narration vs dialogue. Ok, in chapter one I can spot one major problem: Pavel would never address an office as “sir” (gaspadin)…he would say comrade or tovarish and add the rank.
I like the tension you’re building enough co come back for more.

Dear Chris Robinson,

Excellent writing...great concise style.

The Partisan is backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Hi Chris

Dateline something Stalingrad 1943 and I am there. And if the next line is Hell frozen over, you're going to have to prise me way. This is so cool, it should be published straight away so that I can take it on holiday with me in August. Super-backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

Gripping from the start, you have an engaging way with words which makes the story unfold at the right pace.. love the minute details which add authenticity and leave the reader feeling that they are in good hands.. well done!
Backed and best wishes
Diane
Good Blood

The pasrtisan
Backed
Lenny Harry
(Like a dot on the horizon)

Very strong writing. Your dialogue in particular carries the story well. Backed, and sorry I'm late getting back to you. RPK, The Dunkirk Horror

Not my usual genre, but the tale entertained. Good description and dialogue. Beware of: use of it, there, tags, and ing words (run-on and passive sentences), and avoid, not avoiding, is stronger. Break up the narrative and dialogue in places.

Very interesting! Very well written. I really enjoyed this. Back with absolute pleasure.

You've written about a time and place that I find fascinating. The writing is strong, and in particular the dialog sounds authentic to me. It seems you've invested a lot of research into your work here. I didn't see anything technically weak about the writing, either. Happy to back it.
Thanks for your comments and support of The Job. Your backing didn't show up on my news feed, so if you get a chance please slip it back on your shelf for a second, just to be sure. Thanks.
Craig

Your short synopsis intrugued me enough to keep on reading and so I read chap 1 and working my way through chap 2. It all reads smooth and clear. One thing I'd do is edit few sentences in your narrations so that they don't start with either HE or PAVEL few times in a row in the same paragraph. Other than that very well written and researched subject. Great idea for a nove. Backed!

Hi Chris,

I read your first chapter, and I can already see that there will be plenty of exciting war scenes to your book.
Your prose is appropriate, because it reads like a re-counting of battles won and lost.
You set the stage for a wonderfully intricate plot, with Major Solov leading it.
Shelved.

Cynthia
Sharing Short Stories

A well told story covering a fresh angle of an infamous era. This is both informative and entertaining.

Lovely in its hard clean cool masculinity dare I say style of war writing. Recalled in me Williwaw in its hard pure cold attitude and no nonsense style, which i am a sucker for, as it seemed much like the paperbacks of my childhood and that sort of spare far removed from the great war , but not as to be so distant it is forgotten style of pure writing as if almost reportage. Like it much. A bit of LaCarre, and not so Byzantine Herman Woulk, or as cartoonist, who i never never much liked, as that is hard and clean, but less like reportage and more like the goddamn daily news.

The central idea is highly original and it is put across quickly and dramatically. The graphic opening scenes have a terrific starkness to them. Later, as we get to know more about Solov, there is too much emphasis on retelling the Soviet Union's history. I would have liked more of the trivia on the train, how the soldiers spoke, their experiences etc. Solov does not have the slightest trace of culture shock on the British destroyer, and later he notes only the very obvious. At the training camp there is a highly unlikely collection of names - Lawler, Decker, Walker, Carter, Miller and even more two-syllable names ending in er. A little variety needed there. You might also wish to edit passages where you have house and housed almost together; the same for point and pointless. Certainly, the writing could be trimmed of much of its Soviet back story. Readers do not need to have everything spelt out, you know. But ignoring these objections, the tale retains a great fluidity and there is a cleverly orchestrated tension building from the start. I read much more than I intended, which is a tribute to the writer's skill. John Burns - Queen Victoria and the Yellow Dog

Dear Chris --

Don't know if I can add significantly to the kudos you have heretofore received, other than to say that I agree without reservation. Your writing is solid and evocative: I felt the cold of Stalingrad ("The trucks cut up the ice and snow near the river bank as they struggled to find the road") both in its temperature and in its soldiers as they step across the messenger's body. You fashion the world around Solov with convincing details; you clearly have experience in the region and/or superior research skills. As for Solov himself, I wanted to know more about him because he was obviously a survivor, and his ability to make it under the conditions in Russia in 1943 (and beyond, from your premise) intrigued me.

Quite pleased to return your support for The Long Black Veil! -- Delhui

Dear Chris --

Don't know if I can add significantly to the kudos you have heretofore received, other than to say that I agree without reservation. Your writing is solid and evocative: I felt the cold of Stalingrad ("The trucks cut up the ice and snow near the river bank as they struggled to find the road") both in its temperature and in its soldiers as they step across the messenger's body. You fashion the world around Solov with convincing details; you clearly have experience in the region and/or superior research skills. As for Solov himself, I wanted to know more about him because he was obviously a survivor, and his ability to make it under the conditions in Russia in 1943 (and beyond, from your premise) intrigued me.

Quite pleased to return your support for The Long Black Veil! -- Delhui

Very realistic. Love the history build up of Slovov in 3 and later introduction of Cambridge characters. The battle weariness and mixed emotions are well portrayed. Backed. You know your Russia so would be very grateful if you could look at my shashka chapters - so named, includding Prologue,
Many thanks
Rosalind
Good for Him

Exciting, compelling pitch. Time for a unique book cover! BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

I am enjoying this. The PC is a sympathetic character and the English class system is well portrayed. I'd be happy to buy this book. Backed.

I read Chapter 1 to Chapter 5.
This deals with a period of history I am very interested in.
You bring together the times of the last two Csars, the rapid industrialisation of Russia, their war with Japan, the Revolutions and the Civil War plus the conflict between Trotsky and Stalin, Stalin's purges and exile of his rivals, the Siberian camps and the terrible Battle of Stalingrad. Having just made that list, I'm amazed at how you mentioned it all as part of Solov's background or experience; fitting it smoothly into the story so that it felt perfectly natural and helped to fill out Solov's character.
It was interesting to see it from a Russian's point of view and his walk into the state rooms in Moscow was fascinating. I liked Solov's observation that the Soviet elite were still surrounded by portraits of royalty and bishops and his conclusion that Stalin might be hedging his bets.
He is given a mission to help train British commandos but in reality it is much more than a goodwill mission.. He is to become a "sleeper" and wait for his instructions. He has no idea what this will involve, but has no choice but to accept. There are a lot of unanswered questions here and it is interesting to see what Solov makes of the British Navy as he is taken by warship to Britain and then the Army, when he meets the men he will be working with.. He is a likeable MC: a very intelligent man who seems friendly and kindhearted (he remembered to send the cigarettes to his friend at the front) and he is clearly an able and brave soldier, but he will need all his skill to survive. Many of the British officers are suspicious of him because he is a communist, the Soviet contacts will be watching him like hawks, especially as they know he doesn't have the correct Stalinist views, and then he' ll be training and perhaps fighting alongside the British commandos.
All exciting stuff and the tension and danger promises to increase as Solov trains the men and the rivalry between Decker and Solov come to a head.
It's a well written and absorbing story. BACKED.
Cherry G.
The Girl from Ithaca

The Partisan-

You had me until the POV shift near the end of ch1. At least use a space break to signify a change in POV or the reader will get confused. It's also a little unfair to ask the reader to invest in a character who doesn't live through the first chapter.

But the writing itself is very competent and it seems well-researched. Should do well here. -BJ

I think that you have a good story going on here. I do however feel that you should do something about the layout problems because they are distracting. I felt that the flow could be improved with some editing. The dialogue was good and I am sure that with some effort you will get there with this and I think that war stories are valable for two reasons. 1 they are always a good read and 2 they help to ensure that the horror is not forgotten. I wish you well with this work and will give you a boost on my shelf. - Cheers - Diane

An interesting idea, well developed. Backed.

I wish you luck with it.

Cheers
Elaine
(Long Lying Below)

Thanks for backing Flawless Murder, I am returning the favour. Will have a read of your book later.\Regards
David

Chris,
Am trying really hard with this. Have read 3 chapters. Alot of it reads too stilted and like a historical essay. It sound have more bounce and spirit especially given the topic. I also think the chapters are a little too long but that could have to do with the feeling of it dragging.
Like the blurb and the story from that really appeals to me.

Diane

This is not my cup of tea, but it is very well written. I read the first few chapters, captivating to say the least.

shelved
Sue
Fate's Chastening

Delightfully vivid characters, dialogue is really convincing.
Backed with pleasure,
M
Weekend Chimney Sweep

I don't normally read war stories, but this is very well written and I wish you all the best with it.
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

For me this has a good balance between scene setting, dialogue, straight description, and passages which clearly explain the history of some piece of business, or put it in proper context. Sometimes all of this can slow down the overall pace for a while, but never for too long.