Belfast Girls

One of the most important aspects for readers........real characters, personally if characters haven't become real to me by the end of the first chapter, I won't waste precious time reading the rest of the book.
However, I am looking forward to reading Belfast Girls cover to cover !

Good Luck
Pauline

Begins with a clever inversion – outside is secretive and silent, inside is bustling and noisy. This immediately conveys a kind of tense eeriness as if there’s something amiss in the natural order of things. Then the atmosphere of bubbly frivolity is done well; the narcissism in front of mirrors. I don’t mind at all the jumps in setting – though I expect some will tell you off. Tell us what we need to know and then move on – that’s my philosophy of writing. Long laboured detailed descriptions belong to the world before film was invented as far as I’m concerned, unless they are part of the book’s form and not just an over-indulgent pandering to the reader.
The second chapter you settle down and begin to assemble the building blocks of the story. Great job of winning us over to Sheila, and the bond with Gerry is achieved cleverly with a brief exchange of dialogue. There’s more heart in this chapter, more vitality which is all to the good as a prologue ought to be a somewhat dispassionate building of the stage on which the characters are to act. The bonfire is another clever device. It increases our concern for the innocence of Sheila – especially later when we see even the boys almost her age have been infected with the unthinking aggressive nature of the times. And of course our intrigue as to how this innocent girl became a model is growing.

This is truly a book about Ireland itself, not just friendship, love and suspense, as your pitch suggests. In that way, your pitch does not do the book justice – it is true literary fiction, not just fiction. It has a VERY wide range of appeal.
Seamless intro of major characters, the fleshing out/explanation/background just the right balance, touch. You cover so much ground in that first chapter, effortlessly.
The swift, brutal injection of action so soon into the story works so well. HAD to turn the page. . .no going back, read the whole thing, which was as good, if not better, even, than the promise shown in the first chapter.
So backed. Your writing, your pace, just about flawless. Looking forward to reading the rest.

You have a manner with words that moves the eye around each description. I can feel your characters. I can hear them speak. Your atmosphere is tangible. I think that is so difficult. I congratulate you on it.

Most people misuse adverbs and adjectives and so they merely recreate clichés. And because the reader can’t engage on an emotional level (I can’t feel what the writer tells me his / her created character is feeling) so the reader engages on a familial level. And I mean familial as in: we identify because the behavior is so apparent in a friend or family member that we take the characteristic as a given. We identify with the rote. And so the writer wrote rote.

Yet when a writer takes the care to add the emotional, societal, and physical atmosphere through adverbs (specifically) and adjectives (generically) the reader can engage on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level. And then you have art.

You provide that atmosphere. It’s difficult. It’s an achievement.

Good for you. I hope your novel does well.

Mark R. Trost “Post Marked”

You are totally fantastic, Gerry! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

I love a good Irish story - have it on my watchlist for now - Kate

Very good read Gerry, colorful characters and engaging story line. Not what I expected when I read your pitch, much more to the book. CONGRATS on a well crafted book You readers will be wide as this book has great appeal. BACKED. I would really appreciate you reading some of my book, it is totally different and genre different however this is the joy of this site. BEST of luck again Gerry
Denise
The Letter

I'M VERY GRATEFUL TO THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP BACKING ME, BUT I"M NOT ACTIVE ON THIS SITE NOW THAT I'VE GOT MY GOLD STAR, SO I WON"T BE RETURNING BACKINGS AND COMMENTS! PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THIIS!
THANKS ANYWAY!
GERRY

this is fantastic. I am backing this book for sure. Please take a look at my book, I think you will like it.

Great to come across another writer from the oul sod. Smooth and effortless with great dialogue and descriptive detail...just my pint of Guinness!
Good luck
Stewart

I enjoyed the first chapter, and found it very descriptive and interesting.

Thanks, everyone, for your support and comments. I'm really grateful to everyone who supported me and brought me to my current position with a gold star. You're great!
Now that the book has gone to Harper Collins to be read, I really don't need either backing or comments any more, so please don't be wasting your valuable time by continuing to do this, as quite a few people new to Authonomy have done. I'm unlikely to be on the site, except for a very occasional quick check in, and I can't guarantee to return either. In fact, it would be wise to assume that I won't.
I've already left a message about this on my profile, but this is just an extra way of letting new members of the site know.
All the best,
Gerry

After reading your first chapter, I discovered something that needs to be addressed ASAP. It's called TRANSTITION.
This is where you shift from one scene to another or to another character. I was getting confused even though your describing of things, etc, is excellent. To correct this problem, start a new chapter and now the confusion will cease. If the new scene is small, a paragraph perhaps, draw a line accross the page to show transtition and another line to end that scene. Of course you must go back to the original scene.
Hopefully this makes sense.
Lots of luck on your novel
Michael Polansky

After reading your first chapter, I discovered something that needs to be addressed ASAP. It's called TRANSTITION.
This is where you shift from one scene to another or to another character. I was getting confused even though your describing of things, etc, is excellent. To correct this problem, start a new chapter and now the confusion will cease. If the new scene is small, a paragraph perhaps, draw a line accross the page to show transtition and another line to end that scene. Of course you must go back to the original scene.
Hopefully this makes sense.
Lots of luck on your novel
Michael Polansky

I enjoyed this chapter very much and look forward to the rest of the story :) Well done!

Please le me know what do they say?

One of the most important aspects for readers........real characters, personally if characters haven't become real to me by the end of the first chapter, I won't waste precious time reading the rest of the book.
However, I am looking forward to reading Belfast Girls cover to cover !

Good Luck
Pauline

Good on you.
Always thought your book deserved ...
Been away from a while so glad that you have made it through the waters.
Simon Law

I love the Irish flavor and the story-telling. Very lovely! I wish you well with being reviewed by Harpers, your work certainly deserves it! If you get a chance, I would love to hear your comments on my piece.
Write on! :)
D.C. Grace
The Sacred Oath

Congrats, Gerry!
~LRM
Finding Beth

Congrats, Gerry! Well done. I look forward to a glowing review.

Gerry,
Congratulations on being selected for review. I read a few of the opening chapters. Certainly you paint a vivid picture with words and being Irish I could relate very easily to the dialogue and characters. Yet I had a "strange" view regarding your book. It felt like a "slow burner" in the sense that it would suit people (the majority) who like to gradually "get into" a book. There are plenty of hooks and characterisation to engage readers eg Sheila's interest in the guy who wants to be a priest ,John. The slight problem for an impatient person like me is that I prefer "sharper" writing and I honestly believe that your lovely prose might benefit from more crisp/succinct sentences. This might make it "edgier" but perhaps it would lose something in the process. I'm not sure! Gerry, I'm trying to be helpful here and the fact that you are being reviewed means that you are doing something right but I have to give an honest view, especially as I would like you to "maximize" the interest in Belfast Girls. The title is great and the writing as I said, is engaging but you can improve it still further!

Congratulations again

Mark

You deserve it Gerry, good luck. E.Loraine

interesting insights into Northern Irish life

congrats ! Finally :)

Gerry you did it! So what did they say???

Congratulations! And best of luck with the editorial board - I hope it leads to publication for you.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Congratulations!!!

Congratualtion.

Hello, Gerry.

The short pitch was a bit abbrassive, but I'm wordy and hell, you've actually explained a lot in a short time, even if it doesn't quite marry to the synopsis.

I'm glad to help out and back this book, as I like your presentation, it's well written and your characters are engaging. I love your names - Fat Barney!? It was fluid reading and nicely paced. It also delivered the humour promised.

I hope your place is secured and good luck with it.

Kind regards

Billie
xx

Engaging! A great opening set piece, aglitter with high fashion . . . and intrigue most foul! "Belfast Girls" reveals with insight nuanced characters struggling with contemporary challenges as the gritty plot unfolds. Backed, of course.
SC
(Viene La Tormenta)

Gerry, I really like the premise of your book, it's very catchy and the speech is intriguing. keep up the good work. :)
Adair (Don't Forget)

Hi Gerry,

Its crunch time and you have my support! I hope this helps you stay up there for the next few hours!!

Stuart (The Second Age of Magic)

Hey, just letting you know that you are most definitely backed. I've really enjoyed your opening chapters. The prologue in the fashion show have a great attitude in the writing that just fits so well.
Then kicking the story of from her childhood! Excellent. I'm loving how this girl is viewing the world and seeing where all her attitudes come from.
I'm going to keep reading this one. Well done - I'm hooked!
Harley.

Wima asked me to read your bok -Its excellent I'm so pleased to back someone whoes made it to number 5 only 24 hours to go?

Blonde Girl

I find the book interesting and well written. A story unlike what I usually read to be for sure. A few minor glitches but nothing that really hinders the read. A little fine tuned edit will take out the problems I'm sure. You don't need me telling you how to do what you have already proven you know how to do. Does that make sense? I hope so. It is very late and my eyes are starting to sag. So in closing let me say I find it backable to say the least and have done just that.

Congratulations on the book. Nice to have the Irish background in there too.

Hey - just put you on my bookshelf...I'll email my friend Solo1 as well..good luck here at the end!!! We are cheering for you! Jen (Bridges)

Hi Gerry,

I only heard about the authonomy website a few weeks ago when I attended the John Hewitt Spring Festival, also I'm a long-standing acquaintance of Bill Jeffries. This morning I heard you speaking on the Gerry Anderson Radio Show, and that inspired me to check out your book on the site. I'll come back to you with further comments when I get to read more of your book - but I've enjoyed what I've read so far and hope that it gets read by HarperCollins.

Regards Ian

Gerry ... I'm returning to your book after a week, discovering that though I read and backed it, I didn't comment. Only time for short comments now, perhaps - you don't need advice as to how to write a book.
Let's just say it then; this is one that should be put on paper now, so that people can walk in and pick it up in their local bookshop. Best of luck, Gerry; I hope that every little bit helps.
Roger.

Great story. Your writing is fluid and easy to read but think about point of view - it dances about all over the place within a scene. Fine to tell it from the viewpoint of several main characters but if the current pov character is Sheila (for example) she shouldn't be able to see her red gold hair falling over her shoulder. Also lots of telling us what happened over a period of time rather than focusing attention on a few key scenes to show us.

Just my opinion - congratulations on rising so high, and getting your grant. Good luck with the editors.

Gerry

I wasn't too sure about this when I read the prologue, which seemed me to be mainly a parade of characters. However I went on to read the first 4 chapters and got drawn into the story, which cracks on at a good pace. I think it's worth backing.

Please don't feel compelled to back my own effort (Devil's Brew) simply because of my support for your book. If, however, you do happen to have a look at it and decide it is worth backing on its merits, I wouldn't be upset.

Jim H

Interesting story with good character development and just the right amount of twists and turns to keep you guessing. Well done! Backed.

I'm terribly sorry, I mixed up your book with another authors! But anyway, I like the pitch, it sounds like an epic, absorbing saga, and the characters, dialogue and setting of the first chapter add to this impression. I didn't have time to read on, sorry, but it deserves backing.

Interesting story with good character development. I look forward to seeing more.
Mary McDonald -- HEARTSTRINGS

It's been a while since I read this book, but I'll say as I look back I still think this is a great one. The story is moved along a nice clip: depictions of the characters set against an Irish cultural background, blend well with the tone of the narrations. Quite on the surface, something uneasy is lurking underneath and taking readers to move on. Backed.

Backed.

If you have time to read one book on this site properly its this one> I hope it keeps its righful place on the ED desk it truly deserves it. An award winning read.
Amelia

A certain date in the diary

Gerry,
Took a look at tyour book and was drawn in quickly.
that is important. The narration is magnificent. I fell like I can see each scene vividly and understand the surroundings. I really liked the way you switch between the thoughts of Sheila, John Branagh and Montgomery Speers. Belfast Girls places the reader square in the middle of a city torn by differences. Great Story telling backed.
Larry

Very interesting! Readers love reading about Ireland in Australia. I quite enjoyed the first chapter. I don't have much time but i will try and read more.

I admire how you move from character to character. I find in the three novels I've written that I tend to stick to one character. You have three in the first chapter! And the background--interesting yet "everyday"--provides a perfect set-up for the exciting end of the chapter.

I have backed Belfast Girls--and hope to read more to analyze your multi-character point of view.

Tom Kepler
The Stone Dragon

I like the "Now what?" ending to the pitch. It leaves me wondering if there could possibly be more hardship than what's already described in the pitch. Makes me want to read it. Best of luck in the rankings. - Elizabeth Wolfe

I like the time swap after the first chapter, it has a great effect on hooking the readers. I laughed out loud about the rabbit and it's mysterious disease, it's something that people would actually tell their children haha. I really like this and I'm going to keep reading, backed with pleasure :)

Kaicee
"Sin"

Gerry, I was drawn in easily by the well written flow of the dialog. It has a wide range of appeal.
The book has a good pace and has a narative that introduces the main characters quickly.
The story captures important aspects of Northern Ireland, the children, unaware of religious difference until school. I love the tension between the girls.
Good luck I see this one going places beyond here!