Oblique Times: Remegia

I watchlisted this after seeing that first line on the forum thread. The line promised exactly what you deliver here - spare, fine prose with a great turn of phrase and a way of pulling the reader in and involving them in the story and the character. I think your work is very accomplished and have little to pick at. not my usual genre, but you've got me reading well more than a chapter or two. Happy to back this.
Polly
STONES.

Fascinating book. I admire the stripped style. As someone else has said, it has a detached quality. I read the first few chapters and then some of the later ones - was totally captivated by the story of Bishop Miro! I don't know if you've ever thought of writing short stories, but you really, really have a knack for the uncanny. I would happily read loads more stories like that. But back to the main story... I think the detachment will eventually become a liability if it's like that all the way through the book, because there comes a point where we the reader wants to identify with the protagonist. But, like I said, I haven't read the whole thing. What I have read convinces me that there is a lot of talent here - I suspect this is an intricate, interlocking plot that I am missing because I am only dipping in and out. The plot (Vatican gold) is a cracker.
Well done,
Annabelle
DISAPPEARING OFF THE MAP (a completely different style of book!)

Re the ghost stories in chs. 34 and 35: read them all, liked them a lot. There are some grammar issues--comma splices, especially, but these are editing matters. The plots and characters are sound and satisfying, even in the case of the brief one. I think the most memorable is the one about the cruel bishop--fine poetic justice, much as in one of Chaucer's fabliaux.

I looked also at your opening chapter. I see why your book is doing well!

Bill (Faust's Butterfly)

You have created caste of complex characters. A reader's mind becomes curious, edgy: the charismatic, kind, American carries a gun and has killed. The sophisticated priest has a knife with a lethal blade. He is brilliant, but has apparently committed an act so offensive he has been demoted. Two resentful girls have been consigned to a convent school so that they can further their families' fortunes. The writing is mesmerising. This is literature at its best. A pleasure to back, Jacqui Christensen (William's Revenge)

Great story, real polished writing I'll rate with three stars.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

Hi, I really like your pitch, it is very well written and pulls the reader into what Im sure is an excellent mystery thriller. What is it about treasure hunts that we all love? If you have time please take a look at You turn. good luck, you dont have far to go, take care, Lynne

I watchlisted this after seeing that first line on the forum thread. The line promised exactly what you deliver here - spare, fine prose with a great turn of phrase and a way of pulling the reader in and involving them in the story and the character. I think your work is very accomplished and have little to pick at. not my usual genre, but you've got me reading well more than a chapter or two. Happy to back this.
Polly
STONES.

Dear Lanson

You have set up a great story here. The characters are intriguing. Sometimes in your dialogue I dont know who is speaking and this can get confusing (ch3 especially). The writing reminded me more of Chandler than Hemingway.
Will be looking at it again.

regards

Brian

Very, very interesting story: Oblique Times: Remegia and LOVE the prose -- Hemingwayesque but warm. Who is this American and the once beautiful woman? I (a devout fan of Christ Stopped at Eboli and the post WWII Italian cinema) really need to find out. I could race through this book in one sitting, but I'd love to do it slowly because it is so delicious.

Backed and pass the pasta e fagioli.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Hi Lanson,

Great descriptive style with believable plot and characters. Timely set, impressive, well crafted and written. Your tale has a lot promise. the entire four chapters I read is gripping, and a page turner. Great imaginative prowess and talent combined, very enjoyable masterpiece. Some minor typos that can be remedied in re-read. Backed for style and wordage. Goodluck.

Elijah E. Yamslaw (Victims of African Wealth)

Great descriptive style with believable characters. Well written and backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Hi, thank you so much for backing "Daniel's Garden" - I deeply appreciate it!

You've opened your book with a great character study! I can picture Peter Sorel quite clearly; he kind of reminded me of Obi Wan Kenobi in the first Star Wars, living as a mage or mystic in the mountains, wise beyond his years. At the end of the chapter, I was eager to see if he'd be a mentor character to someone or perhaps this story would follow his path.

The second chapter introduces a bit more prose than I generally prefer; I like to balance my stories with prose and action, just to keep the reader interested. Action/dialogue, prose, action/dialogue, prose, all the way through the story. You've definitely got excellent talent and an intriguing plot.

Good luck and thank you again for supporting my story!

~ Meg, author of "Daniel's Garden"

Regarding the first page you might hear the whole, "show don't tell" speech. If you do, ignore it. This is one instance where telling works. I love the style you used to introduce your character. I read the second chapter too. The whole set up, the murder, the clean up, the old lady seeing him... all of this is brilliant. This is suprisingly clever and I am happy to back it.

Lacey

I've only read a little of this story so far but already I am very impressed. There is a real sense of setting and a great hint of what is to follow in the early chapters as well as some excellent descriptive narrative. The disappearance of much of the treasure plundered by the Nazis during the course of the war has long been an enduring mystery and it makes a fascinating premise for a novel. Gripping tension, a slow yet progressive pace (also indicative of the setting) and a fine introduction to Peter as the central protagonist. This promises to be a very effective thriller and I shall look forward to seeing how it unfolds.

Backed with every confidence, best of luck.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

This is a gripping thriller which I would happily read to the end.

Beautiful compact prose, detached and it immediately creates an atmosphere for the story, an attitude for the narrator and a persona for the American.
A solid read, good dialogues, fantastic mood, and striking imagery. What else can I ask for from a writer?
Excellent writing!
Backed

Scorselo

An atmospherisc and intriguing opening.

I'm not totally convinced by the final paragraph of chapter 1, which to my ear feels awkward in relation tto the flow of the rest of the prose, and wondered if it needed rewriting or even if you could do without it.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

Very easy to imagine Harrison Ford as the American and become completely absorbed in this book, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

great narrative voice: direct, immediate. a compelling start.
on my shelf.
clean, strong prose. not a quibble.
best wishes, andy

A quick, fun read. It's a great story and love the style you used to portray the chapter.

You have a very interesting book here - I liked the pitch so I backed the book - perhaps you could have a look at my books - goodluck !

I really cannot find anything more to say, than has not already been said. It is a riviting read, with a complex set of believable characters and a superb storyline. This one, surely, HAS to get into print.

This book is a real page turner. It's a stark, gritty tale that grabbed my attention and wouldn't let go. Great narrative and the plot keeps getting thicker. I will definitely want to finish this one.

This book was fast paced and had a real spy thriller type feel about it. The MC was a highly believable character. You made him warm without the need for emotion at the same time he is a hardened killer. I read three chapters and was extremely engrossed but my mind kept wandering back to his wife and the line ‘Petey you’ve killed me’ I can’t believe anyone would say that. They might say I’m dying, what have you done? but would they say, you killed me? It’s the only nit I have in an otherwise faultless book. You have a superb storyline here and I think it will move along niecely.

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look

Great introduction to a story with lots of promise. The time and setting are what initially attracted me to your book, but the characterisation of 'the American', as well as the mystery that surrounds him, has added intrigue. It's on my shelf and I hope it does well.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

Hi Mario

I love the milieu of your book. It's so exotic to me and your characters and prose style really draw the reader in. Backed

Nicole (Chosen)

M.A.,

I like this! You've got a talent for genre-bending, this has all the makings of an adventure story, but you've got a solemn, mature tone that elevates this above a typical manuscript.

Nice work! Backed! Looking forward to your thoughts on Head Games!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Beautifully told. The the less subtle ravages of war - personal due to absence from loved ones, rather than death and destruction - are well told here. Backed with pleasure. Colin

M.A.
Oblique
You have extremely interesting characters in Nella and Peter lots of mystery.
Well written with an almost dark air.
I like the premise, it is well thought out.
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Dear M.A.
I do have to comment on your book cover which is so good. Your pitch both short and long really made promised to me that your book fulfilled. I found the flow smooth and this is obviously due to your skill as a writer. I am not a natural writer and I wish I have half your talent with the use of words. This is also not my genre and I found I was sitting on the edge often whilst reading, I get a little too involved but this is a compliment, as your book did what it was meant to do. I have not read it all but will carry on. I am so glad I stepped over to another genre that I would not normally read, as I have found skill and craft and for this alone it is worth backing. Your book has more CONGRATS.
BACKED for sure by me
I do hope you can cross over to my genre and review my book, please comment ( this assists me in honing my skill) and if you feel, back it.
Thanks and BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BOOK
Denise
The Letter

Dear M.A., I love that you are bringing me into your story in the search for gold - it would be wonderful if I could have a gold mine. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

I thoroughly enjoy the questing sort of books and your style of writing pulls the reader in. So I'm happy to back this and wish you lots of luck

Jo G

good opening chapter

The style is very intriguing, Lanson. On my watchlist.

Typo alert: last sentence of the long pitch, "It becomes apparent that all is not at it seems...."
Should be as it seems.

-The house was high in the mountains - in a clearing beyond some woods. It was typical of - a house in the mountains - where a house is judged by its ability to stand.....
This isn't precisely redundant, but it's repetitive and stood out. Repeating things is one of my biggest hurdles, so I mention this only to help. Just as a suggested alternative:

The American lived in an old rambling farm house high in the mountains where homes were judged by their ability to stand for at least 50 years without attention and fresh paint is considered eccentric. For less informed students of architecture it was big, old, damp and drafty. When he bought it he added some modern features for comfort; electricity came from a generator he installed himself.

One last thing... I don't understand why the second half of page 8 is in red type. It's rather distracting and hard to read, and I don't understand its purpose - if it has one.

Having criticized, I must also make clear that I really think you have a wonderful style. I especially liked the sentence: "Ernesto found him shell shocked, like a dog beaten by his master for no reason the dog understands." That is so descriptive and clear. The book is very well written and I think you go all the way with this. Good luck!!

Backed with pleasure.

Great intro, great plot, strong believeable characters.

Backed

Phil
Danny Murphy

At first I thought Oblique Times Remegia might be sequel to 'The Bicycle' showing the poverty, and post war exploitation in a defeated country. But it proved far more engaging. An adventure story about kidnapping and lost treasure, all the perfect ingedients for a great and wholesome read.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

I have to be honest and say this is not my type of read so I can’t comment outwardly on the storyline. The writing itself is excellent, very fluid. I can imagine this to be a very interesting read for its target audience.
Good luck.
Sam (Fallacy)

Backed with pleasure
Helen

There are whiffs of Don Camillo, but the economy of style gives it a much sharper and richer style. A little jarring to see some of the 'work in progress' notes, but it didn't detract too much from the sections I've dipped into.

Backed and read with pleasure, a very nice afternoon's reading.

This is the ultimate literary treat for the A.D.D. reader who still likes an intelligent, challenging book. Short, taut chapters and an almost Hemingway-like precision and efficiency with the language. No f-ing around with superfluous verbiage here. And such a compelling storyline.

I ripped into five chapters just while waiting for my pasta to boil. I'll be returning once I slurp up the final strand of linguini.

Backed with a bam.

Best,
-Greg
Notes on an Orange Burial (a tragicomedy)

Beautiful matching of style with setting and subject. Right in tune. Well done, and backed, best, Dave (The Tale)

This is a great manuscript with an intriguing start. However you overuse the word he to start sentences which leaves the reader detached from the story you are telling. I haven't read large amounts of your work so I can't know whether this continues. With this considered the pitch outlines a good plot and the storyline is good. Backed. Could you have a look at my novel The Sacred Pool.

Laurence

Dear MA --

I actually liked the detachment in the first few chapters (as so many have commented upon). It made me think of a legend being recounted, and set up me up for the reality/fantasy blend in the story -- almost a fable. Your descriptions are fantastic, and your dialogue does breathe additional life as it picks up in chapter 3, continuing the tale.

Happy to back Oblique Times: Remegia, and thank you too for your support of The Long Black Veil. -- Delhui

At first I liked your distanced narration, as an introduction for the first chapter. But when it continued into the second, I was starting to get a bit put off. Then the dialogue began, which brought the story to a life. Up until then, I'm not sure it was breathing. That is not to say that the writing isn't exemplary, or that the story isn't interesting. I did randomly jump to Chapter 15, for the interaction between the American and the Maresciallo and found that you stick with this distant style but even by then, it was starting to grow on me. So I'll assume that you know what you're doing and will bring this to life in other nuanced ways. As it reads, it has a fable-like quality and I do sort of like that. Interesting read, at any rate. Well done.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

The writing is clean and crisp, and I was hooked from the first chapter. Backed with pleasure.

Amy
Love Match

You paint a nice character portrait and the romantic, expatriate world they live in. The first two chapters were somewhat thin on dialog, which would break things up a little more, but overall the narrative was good. I would like to read more detail about the struggle in the bedroom, give the killings more impact. My other editing concern is the number of sentences that begin with pronouns. But I'm happy to back this.
Craig
The Job

Always interesting to have something so easy to pick up. Well crafted. First reading of early pages is both enjoyable and leads you into the story well. Will read some more and come back to you, but nicely put together so far and makes you want to find out more.

Good luck and I'll add some more comments as time allows.

Regards,

Clive
Cincinnati Dancing Pig

It is difficult to write a historical novel but you have handled it more than well. The picture you have painted of the times and geography (Italy) are excellent. Great use of imagery and characterization. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I have always been interested in stories that take place in post-war because I am a history buff and its tough to find out what happens after the war. This is an interesting story with twists and turns along the way in late 1940s Italy. Maybe he ran across Michael Corleone in Sicily. I am looking forward to finishing this.

Enjoyed this. I particularly like the pace of the story..it is fast enough to keep interest, but not too fast that the readre can't picture and enjoy the story.

Backed

George Fripley - Wurzel of Clutton

Hello.

You have an excellent work here. You have a good hook at the beginning, good chapter to chapter draw, realisticn dialogue. I will back this.

Can you plaeas read, comment on, and back Jamie 7?

Thank you.
Keep smiling]Joeseph D Palermo

You open this perfectly, with polished prose and just the right level of intrigue to keep people coming back for more.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules were made to be broken."