THE DAMASCUS LETTER: A Spy Novel

This is one of those books that I read and feel as though it should already be published. The cover is excellent, very mysterious and the pitch makes you want to read more. The opening prelude is outstanding writing, thrilling and very in tune with the surroundings. Excellent stuff, shelved.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Okay, Daniel. This is as good, if not better, a thriller than anything on the shelves today. It is what Publishers Weekly will inevitably call, "a page turner". I doubt this will last long on this website. If you're doing your homework and querying agents, it's bound to be scooped up soon. Excellent, excellent. Can't wait to buy it.

Shelved!!

Charley
"5ive Speed"

Enjoyable read, polished MS. No nitpicks. Happy to back.

Ilyria x

Akil Hassan is a protagonist appropriate to the current climate of political correctness on terrorism, and to the best of my faulty knowledge, this is a first, which would make the novel stand out from others in the genre. “The Damascus Letter” is narrated with convincing authority, successfully concluding the contract between implied reader and narrator. The effect of circumstances and individual decisions on the characters’ motives and actions are balanced and intriguing, enticing interest in their well paced development. The novel comes up to readers’ expectations of minor technological details interspersed within the story that have become a norm for this genre, lending credibility to the author as an ‘insider’, further reinforced by the use of ‘surveil’, almost straight out of an intelligence training pamphlet!. The handling of destiny and its timing are reminiscent of Forsyth, Le Carré and Puzo — well timed and placed. Crisp, well turned out dialogues are efficiently handled, though at times stilted.Mature writing, which could do with an editor’s pen!Backed and on my shelf.Thank you for an enjoyable read: eagerly waiting for the complete story.Azam Gill“Blasphemy!”PS: Mujahidin is a plural, the singular being Mujahid, just as Talib for Taliban.

Akil Hassan is a protagonist appropriate to the current climate of political correctness on terrorism, and to the best of my faulty knowledge, this is a first, which would make the novel stand out from others in the genre. “The Damascus Letter” is narrated with convincing authority, successfully concluding the contract between implied reader and narrator. The effect of circumstances and individual decisions on the characters’ motives and actions are balanced and intriguing, enticing interest in their well paced development. The novel comes up to readers’ expectations of minor technological details interspersed within the story that have become a norm for this genre, lending credibility to the author as an ‘insider’, further reinforced by the use of ‘surveil’, almost straight out of an intelligence training pamphlet!. The handling of destiny and its timing are reminiscent of Forsyth, Le Carré and Puzo — well timed and placed. Crisp, well turned out dialogues are efficiently handled, though at times stilted.Mature writing, which could do with an editor’s pen!Backed and on my shelf.Thank you for an enjoyable read: eagerly waiting for the complete story.Azam Gill“Blasphemy!”PS: Mujahidin is a plural, the singular being Mujahid, just as Talib for Taliban.

Daniel -

I don't normally read spy thrillers, but I couldn't put yours down.

Exceptional writing and characterizations, and I'm happy to back Damascus Letter.

Best of luck here.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

Daniel, your Prelude swept me into the first chapter. This is a smooth, enjoyable read. Nothing to nitpick in these two sections.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Dear Daniel, I love fiction thriller & wonder if any of this is true. Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs (you may want to cut the longer ones in 2 or more for an easier read) & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

I concur with many other comments here. Well written, good mix of dialog and narrative, story moves forward smoothly. Even handicapped publishers should see the commercial possibilities. Good luck.

Pollux

Well, your work fits right in with many other books and movies that've come out post 9/11. The focus of the Middle East and Muslims as opposed to the eighties Russians (Cold War) phenomenon or the seventies Viet Cong (Vietnam) emphasis. Everyone's interested now in suicide bombers and what's happening in a part of the world we truly know so little about. I can see this book selling as easily as any other in the genre. Very timely.

Backed and good luck
Natalie

I was pulled in by the premise but once I started reading i was intrigued, good story, backed with pleasure.

Very convincing spy thriller, good tension, a fun read. I wonder, do you actually know Arabic? Oh and an excellent cover/title. Backed.

You had the advantage with me to start, because I like anything involving plots against the Great Satan. The pita bread with hummus made me hungry. Taut prose, and thank you for being mature enough to leave commas in, instead of out.
Backed yesterday. Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Daniel, This is very polished writing. The story grabs the reader from the onset. Before he knows what's happened, he's into chapter 3 or 4 and hooked. You've created an engaging character is Akril. My only complaint is that it's not finished! This book needs to be published. Well done. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

I like books that take me out of my everyday world and transport me to a new and different one. This one does that so well it took me all the way around the world. It's a timely novel because of the terrorists. It's also good because of your writing style. You know how to keep your story always moving forward. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Terrorism is a very timely subject and I believe one the most frightening that there can be. It can come anywhere, anytime, from totally unexpected directions. You do a good job of capturing the subject. Well done!

John Wickey
Future's End

Daniel - I really like this book. The pace is good and the writing is well done, especially the dialog. My only negative comment is that there are several paragraphs of explaination that are lengthy and seem like I'm wading through them. The background provided in those paragraphs is relevant, but perhaps they could be tightened a bit. Good work. With some editing, it should be a commercial success. Good luck.
Ptown Chuck

I’m going to start with a grumble! Why has this got a red arrow?? It’s far too good for that!
Smoothly written international thriller that is about on a subject I don’t think many would tackle. I could not fault your opening chapters for grabbing my attention.
Get your green arrow back! (I’ve done my bit to help!)
Cat
Judas Kiss

Daniel, intrigue....I like it. Well written and gladly shelved with pleasure. Gordon Kuhn

So we're up to chap 23 [part 2], just over 37,000 words.
Is the novel complete?
What is the final word tally?
Because this is very, very go-od. And I'm wondering where you are with it?
It's fabulous reading, well thought and works on many levels as all good thrillers should. Plus it is of the moment i.e. terrorism, Palestine, muslim etc., and frighteningly believable.
Any mistakes on the part of storyline only you would know and as for grammar well your publishing agent will come across where necessary there!

I put this on my shelf some days ago. I am sorry it has taken me so long to get to the comments. It truly is a very good read. This is that sort of excitement filled book that lines the shelves of airports. It is one with real potential and I will be watching for this to be snatched up before the ed desk is even a possiblity!
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Okay, Daniel. This is as good, if not better, a thriller than anything on the shelves today. It is what Publishers Weekly will inevitably call, "a page turner". I doubt this will last long on this website. If you're doing your homework and querying agents, it's bound to be scooped up soon. Excellent, excellent. Can't wait to buy it.

Shelved!!

Charley
"5ive Speed"

Superb writing, gripping story. Just one thought-some of the names ought to be altered slightly as you have put them down as how a westerner would pronounce them such as Akil for Akhil, Sayyid for Syed or Sayid.
All the best,
Nans

Hello Daniel

This is a topical read that will definitely attract attention. It's also well structured and a great thriller. Hmm, would make a brilliant movie!

Shelved.

Best
Elaina

I was gripped from the start. Unusual.
Flows so well and promises that I won't be wasting my time reading it.

Shelved so quickly that I had barely enough time to read it. Now please excuse me, I have to read more.

Hi Daniel

A well written topical thriller - shelved

It's so important in this kind of story to get us routing for the MC and I took to Akil right at the start. The incident with the headphones and then the CIA agent cemented him in my mind. Great writing

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

You are a truly talented writer and you have a fascinating opening. This book is, in the words of the industry "unputdownable."

Great pitch, well written and my kind of book. Backed. Ray Ronan. HISTORIAN.

Good job with this, Daniel. Very timely in today's world and I can see this selling world wide. I'll help by backing it. -- Dave

You use different points of view well to tell your tale. Adds to the suspense and the intrigue. I especially like the second section of the first chapter where the main character is not a person, but an email. You also use dialogue well to show your characters, with the words true to each character. This adds authenticity to your story. Plus, the whole concept of seeing this from the point of view of those planning the attacks is very interesting. Shelved.

This is one of those books that I read and feel as though it should already be published. The cover is excellent, very mysterious and the pitch makes you want to read more. The opening prelude is outstanding writing, thrilling and very in tune with the surroundings. Excellent stuff, shelved.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Scary!! You have a lot of detail in this!!! Read chapters 1, 14, and 23. Characters well done, and plot well developed.

Backed

Jill

Hi Daniel, great pace, great writing, if there were more I'd have read it. On my watchlist until I can rotate something off the shelf. Good luck
Ali

Hi Daniel

The Damascus Letter

From the moment I saw this I knew it would be good, the terse writing style, the rapid, factual characterisation and the pacy development of plot, all the ingredients are there and then I took a look at your credentials and I can see why this is so good. You have all the plot elements in place it will now simply be a process of making sure you pull each of them off, authenticity will be key, but you know that and all that I have read here suggests to me that that isn't going to be a problem. My one suggestion, but really what do I know (a teacher all my life and that's about it) is the pitch. It is generally great but that last line irked me, I didn't want to be told that it would be hard to put down, it sounded boastful and I don't think you have any need to boast at all, you are a fantastic writer with a great premise and excellent skills. Thank you for the opportunity to have a read, best of luck with this. If you have the time to swing by my book and take a look you have no idea how helpful that would be.

Best wishes
Andrew W.
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Daniel,

I love thrillers, having just written one myself. This one has all the ingredients the growing mass of thriller readers demand. Tight writing. Accurate detail. Quick changes of p.o.v. and scene. An intriguing topical plot and a dynamic main character. And really well written.

I am backing this with much pleasure.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Cracking!
Backed

This is good stuff, quite ready for publication. I SHELVED you yesterday and have seen a steady of comments on your book since then. You already have a fan base. There is nothing I can recommend to improve your story or writing other than the pitches.

The short pitch? Decent.
The long pitch? Think you can do better. I also wrote a thriller. Check out my pitches as to how I did mine.

Look forward to your comments on my thriller. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau File

Hi Daniel!

Very gripping thriller novel! Love the cover - can already see this lined up on the shelves in bookstores... Backed with my best wishes for you and this great book!

Kim
Invisible Justice

You have a great thing going with this novel, and it's sad that a man of your talent and credentials feels the need to be here, but your book will die an ignominious death if you don't start giving it some support. I backed it when it first came on, saw you weren't active and took it off my shelf. People won't continue to read or support it if they see an empty shelf. Paul Pender also has a book on here. It's one you would probably enjoy reading.

So how often do you hear that Lee Van Cleef was a dead ringer for you?

Did you take that lady up on her offer? The one that boldly sent you her email address?

Read quite a chunk of this and I am very impressed. This is as thrillers should be; fast paced, captivating etc, but what makes this stand out for me is the wealth of researched information that you have slipped in here. It really does take this onto another level, because it makes it so believable. Dan Brown is like a writer of fairy stories compared to this. I really couldn't find fault with any part, except for one annoying repetition right at the beginning, which nearly made me give up on it right away, and would certainly end your manuscript in the, 'no,' pile on an agents desk. Literally right at the beginning, you write, 'future - a future,' then, soon after, 'dream; a dream.' Get it sorted! This is too good to be let down by one silly mistake!

Andrew

Every so often, I love a good thriller; especially set in exotic places. From the opening prelude and chapters, this is one I'd definitely read. So very timely and realistic. You got my vote. Backed.

Betty K
The Huguenot's Destiny

Daniel, I can see this rising fast. Well written and a great read of what I've viewed so far. When I return to Canada I'll read more. It's definitely the kind of book I'd buy for my son and sons-in-law. :o)

All the best with it. :-)

have made a spot for it on my shelf.

Cáit (Muckers)

Hi Daniel,

Your pitch caught my attention because one of the books I wrote was on a similar subject. And after I have read some of your work I have no hesitation to back it. The plot is believable, as are the characters. The use of hooks increases the tension and makes us turn pages. A superb example of the genre.

Backed with pleasure,

George Mallory

From what I have read,this looks to be a very polished and well written thriller. The subject matter is going to be topical for some time so the plot will not date. With your games writing experience I doubt that anyone will be able to offer you advice on pacing the story and I can't offer anything other than to back your book and wish you success with it. John

Great writing, felt sucked into the story from the off. Definitely my kind of book, hope to revisit it tomorrow.

Good luck
Mel

Daniel

Makes compelling reading thats for sure......This is the kind of story I'd rather watch on the big screen.....(sure you'd like to see it there as well)........Seriously, congratulations.....A brilliant read.......Backed wih pleasure.

What a scary and all too real scenario.

I wish you the best with this very current thriller!
V
Hawaiian Orchid

Daniel, all the makings of a great international thriller, well -written, intriguing, carefully crafted and good characterisation. This isn't my usual genre, but the pitch and premise are just right for your target market. Sure to do well. Shelved.

You really know your stuff! Not normally my type of read (Scarry!). But the writing is well done and keeps you interested.

Small nitpick- had is used a lot, with out it, it tightens up your work. Ex. He had been holding his breath. Could be: He held his breath. It puts it in the now and makes you feel like you are with him experiencing what he is.
Some words can be used as contractions like "It is a sign..." - "Its a sign..." Unless of course because there are other languages involved, that could be how they speak.

Those are small ones and easily corrected. You have a great book here and can't wait to see how well it does!

Good job and good luck!
Backed by SD gillen

The most unnerving thing about this is that it could happen. A frightening thought. What strikes me is how the terrorist feel so justified. Singled minded in their pursuits. No guilt, or responsibility. The way it has been for men like that for thousands of years. That you have captured well. I also like the way the tone and writing style seems to change as you switch back and forth from western world to the middle east. A well rounded book and on my shelf. C.P

This is very well done, but on a slightly different tack, I think it isn't so much hatred of the U.S. that drives Islamic terrorism as hatred of our unquestioning support for Israel and the corrupt, despotic regimes of the Arab world that guarantee an unlimited supply of oil. A more balanced diplomacy is a far better strategy against terrorism than the use of military force. The shrub, with his idiotic "with or against us" talk, and his "axis of evil," speech did far more to make us vulnerable to jihad than he did to make us safe. The "axis of evil," is exactly to sort of thing Presidents have the "wise men" around for to keep them from saying. Unfortunately Cheney and Rumsfeld were far more ruthless than wise. The upshot of it was that Iran began to build nuclear weapons and North Korea restarted its uranium enrichment program, duh. What would you expect them to do to prevent an attack by overwhelmingly superior conventional forces? A little more parity in the military power ratio, would also make the world safer from the threat of nuclear weapons and nuclear terrorism.

Hi Daniel, right up my alley, a terrific read. Shelved.
Michael (Bravo's Veil)