Runeswept

I like the writing style of this story, straightforward, easy to read, but with some good descriptive touches. and a good, fast pace. The characters, Nick, Eli, Tidbah, etc, come to life and are easy to believe in. Nick's character, as described at the start, is sufficiently complex to be interesting, and leads us to expect him to develop and change later in the book. The country of the Kilps is well imagined and interesting, and already the mentions of the Empress and her plans give us some clue about the plot, and arouse our interest in what is to come. The chapter endings are good hooks, enticing us to read on. An excellent fantasy, with promise of good things to come. Backed
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Runeswept

Hi Courtney,

This is great, I have been enjoying it over the last few days. The title first of all, intriguing and engaging and the writing has not disappointed at all. Boy are we straight into the action, fast paced and imminently believable narrative voice, the weird and the fantastic up against the mundane and it works brilliantly. This is a very individual and special talent you have and you are possessed of a self-belief in your writing that doesn't smack of hubris or boastfulness, just a committed, quiet grafting that gets the stories written and works them into the place where they are polished and well edited. This is an understated work of excellence, the best kind, well done, if I could write this well I would be very happy indeed. On my shelf, has been for a few days, where it will stay for a while longer, best wishes and good luck and if you can pop by my book and take a peek that would be so helpful.

Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Very accomplished writing from one so young. Great dialogue that sets your book aside from the thousands of others in this genre. Great hooks at the ends of each chapter.

Backed with pleasure.

Bob

So I wrote a great comment and my internet went belly up when I submitted it, effectively deleting it. So, to reiterate my points quickly:

Pros:
-Great concept, great diologue, and I can relate to the characters and how they feel.
Cons:
-Pacing: take time to describe things, as one scene jumps from one to the next within one paragraph, so take time to flesh out the scene a bit more.
-Nick is fifteen and his mother already wants him to get married? If this is a plot point then go for it, but if not then it feels weird.
-Finally, combine a few sentences using a comma, as numerous short sentences make the writing feel choppy.

I'll watchlist and finish reading later.
Cheers,
Marisa
Tower of Paradise

From the first sentence, I was taken with this story. You have color and flair, a flowing descriptive prose and lovable characters. Each chapter works up to the next very naturally and closes in on the reader, keeping him swept up in it. I, for one, love your work and hope it goes far for you....I read on.

all the best
sue
Fate's Chastening

Hello there, I was caught by your pitch, so I've given this a read.

Chapter 1

The opening is a bit dry. It all sounds a bit manner of fact. It might be better to reveal a bit more of Nick's personality through his current action, rather than simply stating it.

On the plus side, the dialogue is well written and convincing.

The content is good, but the words don't really captivate me. The sentence structure reads a little like bullet points- you begin a lot of consecutive sentences with 'Nick' or 'Elli' or 'He' or 'She', Try some variation- it will break up the monotony. You do this well with certain paragraphs, and they read much better than the rest (e.g. when Nick is frustrated about being asked about his feelings).

It's a really interesting premise, shaping up to be a great adventure, but Nick as a character needs strengthening. You need to show us more of his inner dialogues and motivations, his gestures, tics or habits, to make him more real. He seems a tad flat at the moment.

Chapter 2

Your writing picks up much more here, with better pace and good flow. Your characterization of Tidbah is also very good- if you could transfer some of that to Nick, he'll be a much stronger protagonist.

Again, there's a lot of telling- it seems as if you're in a rush to get the plot out. Though I'm at risk of jumping on the 'show don't tell' bandwagon, I think, particularly from Nick's point of view, you need to show us his reactions to the surroundings. He may well deny that he 'feels' anything, but he would be a more interesting character if his internal emotions run rampant in contrast to the cool, indifferent exterior he portrays to the world, and this is also a potential trait that could change in Nick as he explores the 'Fantasyland'. Making Nick go through this journey and change will again make him a strong character.

Chapter 3

Even better than chapter 2! Again, if you can write this well in the first chapter (which is, of course, the first thing any editor/ agent is going to read), it should create a sound impression.

Overall, the writing is built on a solid foundation, but it needs polish. The dialogue is convincing and natural, the descriptions are concise, and from chapter 2 onwards the writing is much more fun to read. In particular, though, you should focus on strengthening your protagonist, and show us more of his inner thoughts, motivations and behaviours in reaction to his relationships and the events that go on around him. Also, I think Nick's progress is a little to easy and convenient- perhaps add a bit more struggle, make him earn his adventure.

Good luck and best wishes

Sam241

PS. If my own book title Zodiac Hunters interests you, I'd really appreciate if I could have some feedback. I'm not looking for a backing, just a judgement. Cheers.

Excellent fantasy with identifiable characters.
Backed (Hope you return the favour)
Abel Kane
The Alchemists' Cookbook

Backed! Will you please take a quick peek at my "Spartan Heart," and if you deem it worthy, return the favor? Thank you so much! Best wishes for all of your writing endeavors.

Kristine Cheney
Spartan Heart

Hi Courtney. Really enjoyed this read. The dialogue between Nick and Elli at the offset created a clear picture of their relationship. Really liked the brooch and your use of descriptive words brought the fantasy side of the story to life. The genre will love this. Best of luck and backed! Maria (Cosmic Linx)

You have created a brilliant start to your fantasy novel. The characters are loveable and very well integrated into your intriguing storyline. The start of the dream sequence at the start is a good way to get into yoour story as thhe reader can't be sure whether its a dream or not. Backed. Could you have a look at my manuscript The Sacred Pool.

Laurence

Hi Courtney,

I have to say, I like it! Nick is, despite himself almost, very likeable and his awkwardness with his girlfriend is completely believable. Will definitely be reading on, although looking at the word count, I think it could take a while!

Katherine

I liked the idea of the frustrated boy who didn't know what he wanted suddenly thrust into a fantastical world.
Why does he need to go back the first time? It adds nothing to the story and removes the question of whether he can return.
Some of the conversations feel a bit baggy and would benefit from a trim.
You obviously have a lot of ideas that you want to put in there, this can sometimes be detrimental.

Hi Courtney,

It made a nice change to read this type of book from a male perspective. Even though Nick is completely insensitive to his girlfriends needs, and seems to box women into one category, I still found myself liking him and his very lateral way of thinking!
You’re writing flows naturally making it very easy to read, and I especially like your cover.
Backed with pleasure
Sam (Fallacy)

Such an evocative title. Images of castles, sweeping plains full of armies and torch light secrets flooded my head and i wasn't disappointed. You use imagery like a painter uses a brush. I can clearly see the world you have created here and there is an atmosphere here, the switch between Nick's know it all normal world to the new world isclearly defined and I like the way Nick finds fairy tales are not all Disney coated but where real people die under horrible conditions and people sleep just to escape the pain. Excellent.

I came across this book by accident, and I'm glad I did.

The writing is smooth; the characters are so out there and well described; the curiosity is eating me up. Unlike some books I've read here, you have a lot of characters but not over described or rushed in - they all feel quite naturally placed and I can keep up with new additions easily.

Spend a little more time on the first description of the brooch. Nick is intrigued by it - I didn't quite see it in as much detail as he did.

Esme C
'The Summoner'

Have you read Miss Masham's Repose by TH WHite? Your description of the tiny people reminds me of it.
Really, this is different sort of fantasy in every respect, or maybe I should say different quality. Not only do you have a brilliant imagination your ability to write equals it. Backed. Lynn

Excellent book.
Backed,
Bamboo Promise

I think your work has great attitude and imagination. I love how you setup Nick and Eli's personalities... very normal teenage behavior and then lead us into your fantasy world.
Good Luck!
Kirsty
Prygon: The Circle of Dark Magic

You show good insight through your characters, and your narrative is well-conceived and carried out. Happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

This is excellent, I love the title and the idea. The beginning is brilliant. The phone conversation is very well done and quite humourous. I love the pace, it doesn't hang around. Very well done, brilliant writing, backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

This is right up my alley, I love the world you painted with your wonderfully descriptive style. Good luck wth it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

I love books with great characters, and I definitely love your book!
You have created an immense character with Nick and with great dialogue driving the book I have greatly enjoyed this. Only up to four but I’m going to have to read on if only to find out what happens between Nick and Mea. Hope this does very well for you. – Good luck!

You are totally fantastic, Courtney! How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books?
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Courtney, the first thing I always look at is the cover of the book as that is what will attract me to pick it up in the first place. When in a book store the bombardment of covers is too overwhelming. Your cover is perfect. The pitch really takes me to wanting to read, and I did. I have not read it all but will continue. Hey, this is not just for young adults but also for us old gits who love a good fantasy in fairylands. Your characters vivid, your scenes colorfully created in my mind, and the story line gripping. What else could one want? Nick I did not like particularly, but that is the point and she needs to get a life, again that is what characters made real should do. CONGRATS and BACKED by me.......If you would review 'The Letter' and give your comments and backing, I would appreciate it. and BEST of luck.

Denise
The Letter

I liked Nick, he was an engaging and amusing character surrounded by flustered women. I didn't realise he was on the phone at the beginning until he put the phone down. Makes it hard to visualise if you reveal info liek that. Also the comment about her coming round and seeing him in his pants and reading a comic jarred when they turned out to be communicating long distance. If she was referring to a previous time when she came round, the fact he still had a comic in his hand was confusing.

Wasn't too keen on the stammer, I tended to ignore it as I read. A matter of taste though.

When he returned to his bedroom he was soaking, but he didn't change clothes, not even when he went back to sleep, which seemed odd.

Overall the writing is very good. The characters well drawn and the dialogue flowed well. An enjoyable read and an interesting premise. Backed.

Dear Courtney, I love your daringness of your hero & his quest to save others - what an adverture - with a lot of twists - & zombies, too. :) Your pitch was very well done. :) You created interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which made me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book. :) "When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
additional authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs." :)

Sorry, the deal with the font actually happened when I uploaded it and I've tried everything to fix it, ever since I uploaded it last October. Nothing seems to work.

Gosh, this is a fine example of YA writing and actually one of my favourite pitches I have read. Nick is such an engaging MC and what a gorgeous and unique world you have crafted. I also like the pave of it. I was on Chapter three with Nick's meeting with the King in no time at all. Nick's fight with the no eyed creature is particularly effective. The only thing that confused me was the font change halfway though the third chapter. Was there a reason for it? Still, that is easily sorted and you can see from that tI found little to criticise. Good luck.
Backed with pleasure.
Carl
The time Hunters

Gosh, this is a fine example of YA writing and actually one of my favourite pitches I have read. Nick is such an engaging MC and what a gorgeous and unique world you have crafted. I also like the pave of it. I was on Chapter three with Nick's meeting with the King in no time at all. Nick's fight with the no eyed creature is particularly effective. The only thing that confused me was the font change halfway though the third chapter. Was there a reason for it? Still, that is easily sorted and you can see from that tI found little to criticise. Good luck.
Backed with pleasure.
Carl
The time Hunters

You capture the reader right away, Great for YA and your writing is polished

happy to back you

You said you love critique - but I'm going to struggle to have anything helpful to say. Between the reader in me squeaking in delight at having this to read, and the writer muttering "Wish I'd thought of that." there's not much room for coherant thought.

Nick is superb. A typical fifteen year old male, but so much more than that two dimensional stereotype. You've made him rich and real, engaging and witty, with that subtle intelligence I love to see in a protagonist. And then there is this enchanting world. I'm engaged, hooked, and enjoying myself immensely.

I backed this without hesitation or pleasure.

Abi xxx

Hi Courtney,

This is one of the best bits of fantasy writing I've read on authonomy. Bravo!

BACKED.

Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

RUNESWEPT
This is an interesting story. Nick is a good main character; I like the way he makes fun of fantasy things in the beginning – then ends up in the center of a fantasy world. The way you describe his confusion at the sudden change is well done. As most main characters in this type of fantasy story are gals, I think you’ll find a wide audience for this who are looking for a male hero to follow. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Courtney, your first chapter reads smoothly. Good mix of narrative and true-to-life dialogue.

Happy to back the potential of your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Hi,

I let my daughter be the judge of this genre and she said she enjoyed it, so I've backed it.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

Courtney,
Cover is very pretty. I can't quite make it out but it looks a bit like a boat wake in the water.
Pitches: short=good...has a good hollywood poster quality. Long=solid as well.
Text: V good...I feel like I Know Nick in a few short paragraphs.
"The creature did not move, but at Nick's sudden movement, other one fell unconscious."=missing a The?
...then he stepped into the waterfall...
Yes, very good YA stuff! very good.
I'm intrigued at what Tidbah is.
Trying to think of something helpful to say other than I enjoyed what I read...
hm, well, best of luck with this!
-=Bradley

Coming back for a re-read. This is really great, much better than before. Backed with pleasure, Sana x

Runeswept is a classic coming of age fantasy of a magic artifact and a quest to overcome evil, all of which promises plenty of drama and adventure. The opening chapters lead straight in, and I liked Nick with his male scorn for 'touchy feely bullcrap', soon to be wiped away as he finds himself immersed in the fantasy worlds of Elves and Zombies and Kilp. And this is just the beginning! I enjoyed this well-written story and your characters, and I think you have found a style and idiom that is spot-on for the YA fantasy market. My only concern is that this is a highly competitive market and the essence of your story is a fairly well-trodden path - I don't have enough time to be sure that this is distinctive enough to stand out, though I'll be happy to back my instinct that it will be.

Hi Courtney,

I backed Runeswept a while ago and was hoping that you might take a look at Savant. I don’t offer comments, but I’m happy to message my thoughts to you, if invited.

Best of luck,

Jesse - Savant

This is a very interesting manuscript. It is well written and speaks to a variety of readers

You have a flair for connecting your readers with your characters. This is no small feat.

It feels real and not forced. You should be very proud.

This is undeniably suspenseful

Once I started reading, I could not put it down

I wish you the best

Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

BACKED

I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work.

Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters.

So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk.


There you are.

BACKED
Hope you reciprocate.

This is really a new world and it's well put together. The opening dialogue is really great and I find Nick believable and likeable. The otherworld he steps into is well written and the Kilps are simply wonderful, I absolutely love them!

Original. Magical. Backed!

K

I have a problem with my account (i have not been able to back books for the past few days and i have complained to Authonomy already), i would have loved to back this right away. Not to worry, i am coming back to it as soon as i can back...I owe you that..You should remind me too.
Now to the comment

This is a beautifully written prose that would easily endear itself to the hearts of young people and the old folks alike...Nick and Elli's dialougue is intrersting and i can easily visualize everything. There are words you used that i really like, what more do i say?
well done.
I will be greatly delighted to come for more, even after i have backed Runswept.

Tope
Times of the supermen

Hi Courtney,

So far I've read two chapters of your book and I love it! I'm a big fantasy reader and I really like your story. You've done a great job of building believable characters that young adults could relate to.

Look forward to reading more...excellent work.

Backed with pleasure

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Very promising book. I really like Nick and hey, I grew up in NC too so how could I not open this up? I never went to different worlds, but I did have an imagination. =) Anyway, nice premise, I think this will be a great YA novel.

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

I think this has great promise for the YA market, especially if this is part of a series. You've created a great character with Nick, and Tidbah quickly helps us understand the state of things in this other world.
Happily backed.
Lisa

"Fifteen years old, and Nick thought he understood the world." What a wonderful opening sentence! And what a wonderful main character Nick is, bemused and somewhat naive, good-natured and open-hearted. I love his relationship with Elli, his best friend as well as his girlfriend. Your dialogue is particularly good - very natural-sounding.

I'm three chapters in, and this is off to a fine start.

Shelved.

Dear Courtney Lewallen,

First and foremost, your title is stellar. Runeswept caught my eye and introduced a fantasy theme in a romantic way, and it makes me ready to be swept away by your story. Your first scene with the protagonist in his underwear makes good use of believable images, and its fast-turnover dialog keeps the energy high. In my opinion, you can make the scene even better by smoothing over a hiccup I experienced in reading the third paragraph. You have a sentence about a "vampire hero," and though I realize you allow the reader to infer this regards a comic book in the next paragraph, consider that you may leave your reader confused for several seconds when they pause to wonder and think if they've missed something. Luckily, this hiccup is easily cured by adding something to the sentence like, "The vampire hero on the page in front of him," or "He turns a page, and the vampire hero...."

Best Wishes,
Alan Marling
(Ghost Warrior, the Stealing)

A great fantasy ride with interesting characters. I would love to know what the symbol on the brooch looked like... Hooked. Best, Sana

This seems to be a well constructed story with much promise if it is one of five!
Nick is an instantly relatable character for the YA market
Backed
Cat
Judas Kiss

Oh my, what a story. You got the lingo right, your MC is hilarious and your descriptions are vivid. A few places where you're telling instead of showing.... he looked insulted...what did the Kilp do to look insulted? Others wonderfully written, the YA situation is read, happy I shelved it.

Ednah (The Nephilim Awakening)

Hi Courtney,
I liked your character Nick. And I liked how Ellie teased Nick after the amusement park. It seems like she knows something is going to happen to Nick when she gives him the broach and this is good. You do have some really good descriptions, especially after he has fallen into the new world with the Kilps. Something I would suggest though, is to watch how you begin your sentences. There is not a lot of variety, it is mostly he's and she's and names and nouns. Try to switch it up a little bit and you will see the flow of your story increase. This will also allow you to be more vivid. I liked this overall, the only thing that got me was the repetition of your sentence starters.
Good luck, backed.
Alisha

This is very well written. The dialogue at the start is very believable and draws you into the story quicky. Good well developed characters, and as is important in fantasy a well created world. Read to the end of chapter two and liked it, shelved
Charlie

This is a sweet story so far. I love the title.

I do wonder what age this is aimed at. It would appeal I think to very young children. Otherwise, I'd like a little bit more confusion from Nick. He seems to accept everything very easily and doesn't seem to question much.

I'm going to come back to this I think and try and read some more. But for now I can say that it has definite potential.