Travels Through Love and Time

There is something so easy and beautiful about your prose. I felt the warmth of the sea and the son. I could hear the peals of laughter (and the moans of pleasure coming from the other room). In no particular way that I can put my finger on, you have captivated me. I read through everything you have here and couldn't stop. Your story and the voice that you tell it in had me captivated. There is an innocence here, and innocence amidst experience, a young girl about to blossom, a coming of age story, with just a touch of the erotic, of seduction, youth and beauty, it's just a pleasure to read and an experience that I will savor and remember for a long time to come. What a lovely story.

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Dear Christine, I would add so much to this comment, so much it deserves, however, lost for words all I can say is that it is a mesmerizing, poignant love story, full of deptth and so much human emotion. I echo the words of Johanna Kern, I too felt such complete admiration for the talent that you display in this masterpiece. I would like to wish you the best of luck, though I strongly doubt whether you will need it, so instead I will predict MUCH SUCCESS.
Congratulations on your skillfull, artistic and most amazing novel.
Sincerely
Helen
The Last Dream

Christine,

Your enchanting story of Love is more than just a romance. It is a soul-searching, spellbinding journey into the depths of one's own nature, sensitivity - while looking for safety in relating... And then - finding the safety within. Just like the erotic - which is not a mere sensation, but the breeze of one's own breath, the taste of one's own desire, the kiss of one's own out-pouring love - you, Christine, breath, and long, and out-pour your vast Love through your writing. I am full of admiration for your great talent, and understanding of Love and the erotic.
A must read.

Backed with utmost pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Christine, This is one of the most tender. hypnotic and intoxicating books I have ever read. Your writing is so subtle and beautiful. Your imagery and descriptive writing is captivating. We are immediately connected to both Christina and Francesca.

Your ability to capture the pure untainted love is impressive. Your command over the dialogue is moving and it touches the heart in such a moving way.

I am so sorry this is all you uploaded. This should be published already, and whats more, I could see this at the Caanes Festival Backed 110% I am so thrilled for you.Thank you for sharing your gift Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

TRAVELS THROUGH LOVE AND TIME

Christine- This beautiful book springs fully formed from the myriad words that you have linked to fashion a seamless nostalgic memoir of an almost timeless quality. It compares and contrasts in sensuel scenes of endearing tenderness and sensitivity an adolescent (Christina) girl's infatuation with an older woman (Francesa) and her eventual satisfied sexual desires in the culmination of mature love with (Oliver). The country of Southern France and ambiance of its litoral is perfectly invoked. My inferences echo Francoise Sagan's 1950's novel Bonjour Tristesse but these are incidental as you have written a unique and extraordinary story. It has a liquid flowing feel such as to compell the reader to abandon themself to the text while hoping it will go on for ever. You provide every element that makes up a compelling and engageing reading experience. These are the requirements of attracting commercial interest and I believe your book will be a market winner with wide appeal and appreciative readership. Backed & Re-Watchlisted.

Suggestion: At the end of Chapter 4 why not consider getting Christina to reprise, in a reverie, the english version of the phrases of the spanish song she heard sung earlier. As a spanish speaker, I understood every word, but for the general reader I think it would enhance an already perfect interlude. The e in rose wine has an accent ague.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

I planned just to read the first chapter but found the story so enthralling I had to read all you uploaded. A fantastic and unpredictable tale written very well. Thank you.

Sally

Christiine,
The feel of this book is as beguiling as a holiday in the South of France where your story takes place. Your descriptives are vivid, the island scenes, the action taking place, the people interacting, even the subtle references to love blossoming. You have an economy of words, using only what is absolutely necessary to impart your story with a minimum of fuss. Seeing how Christina's life is defined by a single encounter with a screen goddess, the weight of everything you say in this book is considerably enhanced. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

A lovely atmospheric coming of age story. Makes me wish I was in France, out in the yacht and smelling the pine forests by the sea. Very sensual descriptions and good teenage dialogue, gilded youth discovering all kinds of joys. High stars and thanks for an enjoyable read.

Christine,
I intended to read just three chapters, as I am far behind on return reads. Instead, I read everything that you have posted. I simply could not put it down.
This is really a lovely read, a love story in a fabulous glamorous setting with lovely descriptions and great character development. You paint Christine wonderfully as her heart and body come of age with her first true love, and manage to make the object of that love stunningly inviting, without being unreachable.
Your writing is captivating and alluring, and makes me want to read more. At the same time, this section is really perfect on its own, the writing is beautiful and inviting, the story arc works so well.
Your descriptions are so very satisfying, from the island, to the boat trip, to the colour of Francesca's skin.
The plot is simple without being trite.
I would normally be turned off by a story set in a world of glamour and wealth. But you manage to bring the humanness of the characters through the setting, so that the setting becomes an asset.
Six stars.
All the best,
Maeve
(Mrs Maginnes is Dead, Fresh Meat)

TRAVELS THROUGH LOVE AND TIME
This is an interesting story. I like the way your writing style lets the story unravel at a leisurely pace; lets your reader enjoy your descriptions of the scenery and the people Christina meets. Christina is a good main character; she is definitely her own self; determined to enjoy her life rather than be influenced by others. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

There is something so easy and beautiful about your prose. I felt the warmth of the sea and the son. I could hear the peals of laughter (and the moans of pleasure coming from the other room). In no particular way that I can put my finger on, you have captivated me. I read through everything you have here and couldn't stop. Your story and the voice that you tell it in had me captivated. There is an innocence here, and innocence amidst experience, a young girl about to blossom, a coming of age story, with just a touch of the erotic, of seduction, youth and beauty, it's just a pleasure to read and an experience that I will savor and remember for a long time to come. What a lovely story.

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Wonderful armchair fantasy of love in far away, glamorous places. Enjoyable read!
Rosalind Barden
American Witch

This is a well-written story, Christine. It reminds me so much like some long-ago Italian romance movie. Just read the first two chapters and was amazed at the story and the writing. Thanks for sharing this with us.
All the best
Kirk

I thought I was finally getting round to looking at Travels through Love and Time, but before I was halfway through the first chapter I realised I had read it before, but had omitted to Comment on it. I do apologise, Christine -- and for the inordinate length of time it has taken me to return the read.

Elegantly written, and featuring an area of the world I know slightly and love a lot (I've always considered France to be God's own country), your poignant novella has a great deal with which to charm the reader. Alas, its languid beauty was rather wasted on this particular reader, who is not the ideal person to embark on this journey through love and time. But I do wish you the greatest good luck with it, and a more appreciative reader. Many more, in fact.

I am right there with you among the pines, wishing I were with someone I loved - that's always how I feel when I am somewhere beautiful, and evem more so as a teenager. The glamour of Hollywood and the beauty of Southern France combine to form an intriguing storyline.
(There are a few typos, but I'm guessing that since this is has been publsihed those have been fixed. Congratulations, by the way!)

Oh wow, I can see why this has been published! As with most here on Authonomy I normally only find time to read a few chapters, but I read all you uploaded and I wish desperately there was more. This is such an innocently written love story and I'm sure the rest will be just as wonderful. It's just perfect. The way you describe the settings, the colour of the sky and the water, the feel of the breeze, the misty shoreline, tanned skin, bees in thw wisteria.....it all paints such a vivid picture. This is fantastic and I wish you every success with it. Will now head over to your website for purchasing details. I need to know what happens! Tammy

i wonder if you're starting at the right place. your opening line doesn't stand out to me and the description of the environment, while beautiful, isn't yet clearly relevant. i thought the description of the leaky canoe game was original and quirky. what about starting here? you could weave a lot of the info from the beginning into dialogue between the friends. just an idea.

Take a look at your novella thread in the forum. You're invited to the party.

Such fabulously clear writing makes me wish I still lived in France and it was the 14th July with dancing outside. The economy of your prose let's the sparkle of the setting and the innocence of your young narrator shine through. The intense emotions and the concerns of a fourteen year old and her friends with their typical obsessions are so true to life. I applaud this. The water ski ing was wonderful. i enjoyed the three chapters i read, will star highly and read on when I can.

The first chapter sets up the whole novel. Here, a young girl, left running free feels thwarted at the mention of a guest arriving.
The inciting incident: I guess it's the new arrival.
Does the chapter tell the reader what the story is about? I guess it's about how the main character develops.
The groundwork for tension and fiction? Between her and Bambi, and her and the visitor perhaps.
What does she want with all her heart and soul? To keep everything as it is.

Some of her emotions are well described. I'm not sure I bond with her though. Perhaps that comes later.

One other thing I would mention, although you may not agree. Lose the 'was', 'were' & 'had sentence construction. For instance: He was skinny but quite strong. He had blond hair.
How about: Although skinny he'd shown strength when he dragged the boat full of water single-handed onto the shore. His blond hair hung over his ...

Hope this helps.

I'll back your book when a place becomes vacant on my shelf.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

Your novel, what there is of it , is excellent - very easy going for all ages , in short - a hit that will soon be in the bookshops - your main character is very easy to understand , you capture that age so well in the first chapter and you make the the ordinary seem extrordinary - a joy to read so thanks and goodluck !!!

A nice story, with plenty of dialogue and a dream-like setting. One comment, however, and this maybe just my personal opinion: The narrator is supposed to be French, and yet her manner of speaking (even tough it is clearly in translation) is typically American (e.g. "bummer"). Is there a way you could change so that she could seem more French?

Michael Clifford

Sometime in Andalusia

www.ten-minute-stories.com - Tales to read quickly but never forget

Christine,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

Well, the jewel of this narrative obviously, is the psychological map of your main character. Here we have the dreamy angel whose ebbs and flows go carousel like as she experiences the pleasures of being.....herself

Then it gets complicated for, embedded in this voice is the adult, which comes most noteciably during the descriptions. For, teenagers do not have the kind of nostalgia this novel is bathed with:

So the main voice is a really a mixed voice: there is the teenager living it...and there is the adult evoking it.

How you clip and mix this two voices is where the magic comes.

Some of my favorites:

"One day.....'
That poetic sideway is lovely.....why not start the novel with this line?

"She had darked skin....."
I liked the specificity of the description

"The looks of an angel....."
You girls...just never learn....ahhh? lol

Some Minor/Minorest/Minormost points:

"cautiously started" "large birds" "immense sadness"
I would cut a bit on the modifiers
Why?
Because the contemporary reader has a surplus of images stored in his brain which, he uses when he is reading, to fill in the blanks. Leaving the modifiers out, allows him to fill in the blanks. Thus, he uses his imagination to create the story rather than just read it.

"I said, with a mixture of hope and fear"
I would use body language to describe the emotions rather than label them
Why?
Because if you label the emotions, the reader reads the label
If you describe he/she feels it.
for ex: "I said, my arms falling, my eyes going forward then carousel like"
There, all the mixed emotions she is feeling without the labeling.

Finally, I would cut the spacing, specially during the dialogue for, it slows down the reading.

Let me know if that helps,

Overall, wonderful,

david

Starts very well - you've pulled me in.

Okay Christine. I've only read the first chapter so far but what have we got? A spoiled little girl of privilege who's going to get what's coming to her. You seem to write well, nice voice and a good sense of where the story is going. What dialogue you've used so far sounds true.

I'm more interested in your profile. You sound exotic and mysterious (to me). I'm looking forward to seeing that in your writing as I read more.

If you have an opportunity (not a requirement), I would appreciate you taking a look at a chapter or two of my book, A PLACE IN LIFE. I would further appreciate your first impression and any other comments you care to share.

Thank you and good luck with your book.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Backed... AS PROMISED!!!!

Have 6 starred this and added to our WL which means you WILL make our shelf in the next (+3) round of backings (its 11pm for us). Check our comments trail if u want to confirm this and do feel free to chase at ANY TIME to know exactly how long till ur going up...

Beautiful, moving, image-evoking writing. It’s fluid as glass; I love it. I could practically smell the hot pine resin, feel the breeze, see the sleepy harbor as I read it. I love the phrase “looks of an angel and manners of a bad boy.” Isn’t that what attracts us most? :)

Nitpicks (feel free to ignore!):
“. . . since I had Simone, my governess to take on all the hard work . . .” “My governess” needs another comma enclosing it. “. . . since I had Simone, my governess, to take on all the hard work. . .”

“’Your mother called!’ She said.” The “She” shouldn’t be capitalized.

“from our parents, to the latest news.” No comma necessary. Just, “from our parents to the latest news.”

-EZ

Your 'voice' is tactile, emotional and very temperamental. I enjoyed the thrill of meeting you on the page and felt your hand of temptation that offered itself to me. Wonderful writing.
Best Wishes.
Bradley Haynes (Tricia)

Your narrative voice is wonderful, Chistine, and the first chapter works to bond me to the narrator. The chapter flows so well with your easy balance of narrative and dialogue - you flawlessly blend in just enough backstory for us to know Christine. I will read on because I find this book fascinating. I'm happy to place it on my shelf.

Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

Dear Christine, I found your book by recommendation, and I was really glad that I did. An old Romantic at heart! I was inspired by the depth of your descriptive blend, which had both beauty and substance. The allegoric charm gives the reader a chance to unfold in your romantic undertones, easily helping us to forget, the fallacious ugliness that is slowly enveloping us all. You are obviously a very passionate Woman, which is what inspired me most. Its a sad fact, that more emotions, like yours! Are needed, for us to yield to our natural emotions,; and all become moved by such a momentous book. I have scoured the world, in search of fine pieces of literature that could last a lifetime. Your book Christine, could easily do that. Please look out for my support. Best wishes with your book. Take care, Cicuta, [ Carl, Arcane ].

Hi Christine,
A very enjoyable interesting read so far. I will comment further once finished. 5-starred it!
Please check out my novella 'Lesson learned', I think you will enjoy it
Best wishes,
Jayne

Christine,

I read the first chapter of TRAVELS THROUGH LOVE AND TIME. The narrator's voice is light and breezy and innocent. Also, you do a great job of painting vivid images of the environment. Notwithstanding, I found some minor grammatical and stylistic issues:

For example, in the first paragraph, I think you should lose the sentences that tell the reader it was "such a good day" and it was "so good to be out in the warm breeze." The rest of the paragraph shows that it's a good day, so it's unnecessary (and ineffective) to use mundane language to explain that it was a good day after you've gone to the lengths to paint the scene for us. Also, I believe "parent's house" should be "parents' house."

In the second paragraph, lose the comma after "The brakes were so bad." Also, why did your friends need to buy sandals to slow down your bike? I assume the brakes on their bikes were also bad, but does that really add anything? Regardless, that's not explained. Rather, as written, it reads as though you AND your friends needed the sandals to slow down YOUR bike, but I don't think that's what you were going for? Unless they also used your bike? Did you need to all ride the bike at the same time to be able to stop it? That could be a great image, but if that's the intention, it's not clear. I think you should either build that passage up to show your reader three young adolescents careening down a hill on a rickety bike with bad brakes, all dragging their clumpy-soled shoes in unison in a desperate attempt to make the wild ride come to a stop before they crashed into the flower stand at the market . . . or something. Such a scene would not only provide an entertaining event, but develop the relationship of the young friends. Alternatively, just lose the reference to the friends.

In the third paragraph you should lose the comma after "My parents had gone their separate ways." Check out this link regarding proper comma usage:

http://www.bartleby.com/141/strunk.html.

Because that link does such a good job explaining how to use commas properly, I'll stop noting your unconventional use of commas, but the first chapter contains a lot of oddly placed commas.

Also, you need a "was" between "mother" and "vacationing." I would reconsider the choice of the word "tangible" in the phrase "The freedom was tangible." Although tangible can mean "real" or "actual" I think most people connote the word with the definition "capable of being touched," or "having actual physical existence" don't you? In that regard, the freedom certainly wasn't tangible, but it might have been exhilarating, or boundless, or overwhelming, or possibly even palpable (though that's very close to tangible). Also, the phrase "I could only hope I could . . ." is a bit clunky with the double "I could."

You write, "On one hand, I was hopeful maybe she was taking enough of an interest in her progeny to come and spend some time with me." The word choice "progeny" seems inappropriate and unnecessarily academic coming from this young, seemingly naive child narrator. What about using "own kid"? Also, perhaps insert a "finally" before "taking enough of an interest."

You write, "Right now, however, I hated her." That structure doesn't work because everything so far has been told in past tense. So nothing is "right now." Perhaps, "right then."

You write, "continue living my life as close to the way it had been so far this summer as possible." I think you have too many words there. How about, "continue living my life as I had been"?

Capitalize "Zippo."

I like the set up for the inevitable relationship that will develop between the narrator and Mrs. d'Alessi. I also like the details you capture that show the narrator's age and sensibilities (e.g., dragging her feet to slow her bike, the game with the leaky canoe, "so there", etc. I think if you go back through and polish the grammar and style, you'll have a truly compelling manuscript.

Kind regards,

Rob
(Aralen Dreams)

It is a psychic autopsy of a teenaged girl and after maturity. Her external trips, I mean here external trips an attempt to escape from physical pains are touchable for readers.

Cheers,

Joy J Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Very vivid narration gives the reader the feel that they are there feeling the warmth of the sun and the smell of the salty sea air. Backed with pleasure.

Debbie Martin
THE TIMID HEART

hi christine ' travels through love and time'

a delightful romantic read, the narritive flowing ever so natural '
this book of yours is so creative and descriptive one feels there on the island with them
her annoyance at somebody coming to disturb he r peace and quite life appears understandable in the setting
have to say i got carried along with the story after reading the first few chapters
backed and starred
tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
if you could do the same with mine i would be obliged thanks CHRISTINE

Christine, the freshness and delicacy of your writing is a delight. However I think the story takes a little too long to get to the main theme or maybe the story is the theme and I missed it? I've starred your novella and wish you lots of luck with it. Hannah

Lovely lucidity to your prose style, like the clarity natural light after rain gives everything. The narrative focus is great too – never gets sidetracked or waylaid by unnecessary details. The visual details your narrator gives us all have a sea sparkle of her own innocence and this establishes an intimacy between her and the reader. And I love the way the sea is sighing through the story. In fact it’s the sea that seems to make the story possible. This is beautiful elegant writing which captures masterfully that tender elegiac atmosphere of that time before we come of age. Big thumbs up from me.

I hopped around reading other chapters. And saw the structure of 7 days. Like creation.

What struck me most of the story was the way you create atmosphere: the setting. In every scene was the feminine. It built the tension with metaphor, symbolism and sensuality. Especially the sloop and the water.

The ocean play s a role is my story as well--and I'm fond of sailing. So on that level alone it was a pleasure to be in your narrative. I contrast the ocean with the mountain as Cal comes to grips with his fear of the feminine. Whereas, your story is an ebrace of the femine. If I could, I'd have Cal read yours--my protagonist. It would do him some good.

I'm in ch 5. The sensuality of this scene makes me envious of your craft. The ocean as a partner in the narrative. There's a sexuality to their submersion. Repeated when in the bunks, enveloped in the sloop.

A lot of tension in the relationship/longing. The perspectives—one stretching the other.

Be back in a moment.

This reads like a good french film: subtle, understated, tender, rich with emotion. I really enjoyed spending time with Christine. What I love is the way you capture the intensity of relationships. Good luck with this.

Gefordson
Nothing you can do

Not my usual read but I found it very sensitive and evocative of all our growing up emotions whatever our sexual orientation.
I did find the lack of speech marks rather disconcerting but I'm guessing that it's because everything is filtered through her memory so is it them or herself speaking? A book to be re-read and thought about.
Backed
Robert Davidson
THE TUZLA RUN

Christine, firstly I must apologise for getting to your book rather late - my WL is rather packed and to be fair, I read the books in the order of the placement. I was a little unsure about reading 'Travel....' bisexuality not being something I wanted to read about - nothing against that but I just didn't want to read all the accusations, moralization etc etc. But I didn't find that in your book - it was honest yet delicately put to such an extend that I felt I was reading someone's diary with all the heartfelt emotions, tenderness, sadness and the joyousness of love. I am glad you 'demanded' a read - thank you. 'Travel....' is not about moralization but about love, real love. Hanyxxx

I like your writing style; it builds a calm sort of suspense, if you can imagine that. The time, the characters, the setting--all very smoothly conveyed. Accurate, intimate voice. Great start. I wish you the best of luck!
Joel Juedes
Purple Eyes

Hi Christine ...

I love your style it is so easy to read. You have captured your story well and have a very strong central character in Christine. Your decriptions are very good and bring the story to life. Dialogue could do with tightening in places but is nothing serious. I read dialogue aloud, what looks right on paper does not always sound right spoken.

In chapter 1 I would drop the first sentence; 'It had started as such a good day'. The reason being after this sentence the reader is expecting the day to get worse but it doesn't really. Also you should not start a novel with the word 'It' and most words ending 'ed' are past tense so 'had' is unnecessary. Try instead: 'The day started so good'. It is less negative.

The Ellipsis (Ellipses, plural). It should be: 'word ... word' with a space before and after. At the end of dialogue it should be: 'word ...' with a space before only. If used at the beginning of dialogue: '... word' with a space after only. In MS Word holding down 'Alt Gr' and keying the full stop (period) gives a perfect ellipsis.

Avoid overwriting by not stating the obvious: '... looking at the view of the entire island all around me'. She can see the entire Island so: 'all round me', is unnecessary. (I have used these examples from the first chapter so they are easy to find),

The use of exclamation marks (points) should be kept to a minimum as they loose their impact if used to often. They should never be used with other punctuation: 'What?!' one or the other not both. Decide which is the stronger and use that.

I have read all you have posted and enjoyed it. I apologise for my pickiness. 'Backed'. Regards ... Duncan.

A brillient read with engaging charcter and diolouge that transports us to a world only known only seen through the eyes of the charcters you've created. C W

Excellent character and story development. Difficult to add to what has already been said. The writing conveys great depth of emotion. Not my type of read, but well worth the support.

An enchanting tale of love, and the complexities of emotion. Well written, vivid imagery, and an understanding of the human heart. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Christine,

I have just finished reading this remarkable book - my advice is lose the tags Erotica, Bisexual & leave it at Literature. Move it out from the fringes and place this firmly and proudly where it belongs. As good as (& possibly better than oranges are not the only fruit)

Backed gladly

Rob

Chere Christine, Well, I can't continue in French without accent marks, but I can mention how your atmospheric first chapter appealed to me, with your skillful treatment of the remote family and then the joyous companionship at the beach. Musically speaking, minor to major. I'm looking forward to the interaction between Christine and Francesca. This is off to such a good start that I'm pausing here to back it. And to thank you for backing "The Doctor of Summitville." I'd be very interested in your opinion of the orphaned French girl, Annette, who takes center stage when she enters nursing school. --Best of luck with your writing, Bill

An authentic voice that almost reads like a memoir...especially so because of the vocabulary and insight of this precocious teen narrator. This is certainly going to be a life examined, from what I've gleaned so far, and a life the vast majority of us will never know even in a thousand lifetimes. The latter is what gives you an edge at keeping us turning the pages. Your writing is precise, yet loose enough to let a bit of reader's imagination to have some rein. An enviable quality most certainly.

Enjoyable and readily backed.

Best,

Eric

Christine, This is written with much perception and in a way that is a delight to read. Every so often it is wonderful to come across such a piece of writing and I wish you all the best with the way it is to continue.
Backed,

Ann Mynard (Windshadow)

Hi Christine,
I've added your book to my watch list and will read it tonight. Thank you for backing COLD MOON RISING.
I really appreciate it.

Meanwhile, since you gave me such a great review, I was wondering if you could cut and paste your review onto Amazon.com. I had to change the title of my book for Amazon. It is now called BORROWED TROUBLE. Here's the link to my book.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/b0043m4sm2

I hope it works. Everything is so new to me and I suck at the tech stuff. Could you let me know if the lik works. I've got to learn this stuff.

Christine

I very much enjoyed your talented writing and found it to be very evocative , powerful and descriptive.You engage the reader with strong characters and effective realistic dialogue.
Wishing you every success

Jane

Hello Christine,
What a wonderful story and so beautifully written! Thank you for sharing it on this site. I will back you with pleasure. I could not help being drawn into your story and will definitely be visiting your website to read more. Take care and best wishes!
Sincerely,
Heidi
An Unexpected Obsession

PS. I loved your bio as well:)