Miranda Writes

Hi there, a look at chapter one; I like the glee you open up with, the idea that someone else is worse off than you in the working day and the schadenfreude (sp?!) that follows. Miranda's a likeable character, a sort-of mother hen to Gwen and her pixie sniffles but also more than capable of dealing with the leery "hardbodies" without breaking sweat. It was smart and well-paced, and always has its character's literary ambitions at its core. Excellent job

Pat Black
Snarl

PS, Didn't Steinbeck write most of his stuff in pencil on yellow notepads? I don't know whether someone told me that for a laugh or not!

You've got some great, original lines in this that really make it zing. Humour is a difficult one to do, especially to maintain consistency, but you seem undeterred by this, pulling some fantastic writing out of the bag. This is just a fantastic bit of narrative, really, one that really identifies with the reader and with life.

Andrew

Hi C-M, this is refreshing, witty, human, great fun and a hoot. Love the pitch and the writing lives up to the promise. This is well paced, stylish and your MC is just right for this target market. (Although I reckon this is oodles better than chick lit. Sophstichick lit I reckon. I am hoping HC will include a 'women's commercial fiction' genre to this site so I can slip mine into it too. Backed with pleasure.
Sarah (A Midsummer Night's Secret)

Miranda Writes

Hi Christina-Marie

I have been reading this on and off for a few days now, a great piece of work. The characterisation is excellent, we are straight into her head. But the best bit for me is the way her stream of consciousness thinking folds in upon itself and leads us into the next part of the story. She is so powerfully evoked, you have crisp dialogue and the cynical air that there is in some parts of this story goes completely with the grain of her character. What a great journey we are on. I am still reading this and will continue to do so, but I wanted to pop up and say hello, fantastic writing, it will stay on my shelf for a few days now.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)
Any help you can be, gratefully received

Hi Christina,

If Carl Hiaasen and The Office had a baby, it might look something like ANIMAL CRACKER.

Can a bunch of smart, sassy women get the goods on their boss at Boston’s venerable Animal Protection Agency? Hal Mason is Brad-Pitt handsome, with a Harvard professor wife and an adorable but shiftless son who wins the heart of Diane Salvi, the organization’s new communications director and the book’s narrator.

The malapropping, narcissistic Hal, famous for his animal-themed ties and jokes, has managed to earn the adulation of the organization’s board of directors and the scorn of his staff. When his negligence leads to the dogshit literally hitting the fan, Diane and her reporter roommate Genie set out to dig up some dirt on him, with a little help from friends in the office.

There's never a bad time for a fun read in which the good guys (or gals) wreak vengeance on a conniving boss who deserves no less.

Thanks for considering ANIMAL CRACKER.

Best,
Andi

How is this not published!??! This is one of my favorite chick lit books here! Backed again for what it is worth!

Liz
The Cheech Room

A fun main character and a nicely descriptive style of writing. This shows promise and would certainly appeal to its target audience. I've followed my usual practice of reading the opening chapter, as I would in a book shop, to see if this would have the customers heading to the cash till, and I think it would. Shelved.

Philip (Steady Past Your Granny's)

You short pitch got my attention. Your first line got me started reading. I love the voice. I laughed and enjoyed your MC. This is a wonderful read. As a writer, I relate to the character. This is fun.

Backed.

Great ideas here for a romance and chick lit novel.
Never my cup of tea, thinking this genre is something your wife reads.
I eat my words, and have begun to love the genre, especially with books like yours out there.
Great fun, enjoyed it, and the writing. A story well exectuted.
Backed

Marvelous writing, just the right amount humor to make your story light-hearted and a great plot... What more could one want?
Lori Buckman

Heh, the first couple of chapters of this were fun. And even though Papa Hemingway is one of my least favourite writers, I shall back this because it made me laugh. I didn't spot any terrrible typos or such glitches, and found the style very comfortable to read. Miranda's a good character, I like the interplay between her and the other characters and her observations on them.

Oh, this is great, Christina! Smart and funny, with a lovely bite to the wit. Miranda is quick-witted and observant, but not nearly as hard-edged as she'd like the world to think - taking in the waste-of-space Chad as a favour to Gwen illustrates that nicely. Her combination of toughness and vulnerability make her very likable - I'm on her side from the beginning (and having my own fantasy of writing the Great New Zealand novel helps...)

This feels polished and professional, and really has the feel of a published work. I'm three chapters in, and plan to read on.

Typo in chapter 3: "Hank is *clearing* enjoying himself"

Shelved.

Hi Christina, Your book is such fun, fast paced, witty, and if I may say so, slick. I enjoyed the first three chapters very much. Certainly suits your target audience. Happy to back, Nicky. (Nuns & Pregnant Girls.)

Christina-Marie
This is a very attractive pitch. I made notes as I went along and so they may appear a little disjointed. Please also feel free to use or ignore any points.
You are a writers’ writer. Realistic dialogue and good interaction between believable and likable characters. Ample scene painting without disrupting the flow and plenty of interesting characterisation to keep your target reader turning the page. Miranda/ Jacqueline is an interesting protagonist and I want to know more about her and how she moves through the story, thus completing the book. I particularly enjoy her thoughts about writing and meeting with Aiden – just be careful not to be too cliché as you explore the writer stuff. Not much to worry about though, from what I’ve read.
A fine opening chapter!
Shelved with my best wishes
David
Green Ore

I love the premise of this and your writing is warm and thoughtful. Miranda is a great MC & instantly likeable. I agree with the person below who says this is better than chick-lit. On my shelf with all good wishes. Angela

This has been on my shelf for a number of days now.
This is just lovely. It just oozes funny, warm language and feeling. Well done.
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Hi there, a look at chapter one; I like the glee you open up with, the idea that someone else is worse off than you in the working day and the schadenfreude (sp?!) that follows. Miranda's a likeable character, a sort-of mother hen to Gwen and her pixie sniffles but also more than capable of dealing with the leery "hardbodies" without breaking sweat. It was smart and well-paced, and always has its character's literary ambitions at its core. Excellent job

Pat Black
Snarl

PS, Didn't Steinbeck write most of his stuff in pencil on yellow notepads? I don't know whether someone told me that for a laugh or not!

You've got some great, original lines in this that really make it zing. Humour is a difficult one to do, especially to maintain consistency, but you seem undeterred by this, pulling some fantastic writing out of the bag. This is just a fantastic bit of narrative, really, one that really identifies with the reader and with life.

Andrew

Christina-Marie
Aaah, writer's block, very familiar territory for most anyone on this site. Excellent writing. Love your youthful and somewhat cynical voice. Oh yes, I am also familiar with the cognac muse, works every time. Most of the great writers were heavy drinkers. Well at least a bar is a great place to find characters. I love your work and I love the name Christina, take a look at my book and you will see why. Fun read, good luck with it.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

I'm not really into chick-lit I have to admit, but it's as good as it gets for me. Well written and typical of the genre, that must mean that you did a good job of it.
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy called George

Needs some editing but it's well written with very good dialogue. Backed.

My kind of book. I love Chick-lit. I like the beginning of this, it made you want to keep reading. The best of luck to you on this.

Great story. A little drama and comedy mix well together.

Backed

Jill

Hi Christina-Marie

very nicely written and you have a gift to keep the reader's attention.

good Luck,
Tamara

Very witty and refreshing. Your character had me laughing, saying 'Ya, I've been there!', and 'what? Other people think like this too?' Miranda's got enough sarcasm to make her funny and interesting.
I loved it. Great job.
Backed by SD Gillen

This is oh so funny and oh so clever. A delightful read.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

This is excellent, I was attracted as it looks funny and I like funny books and this did not disappoint. The opening is brilliant. I love the ologies part, hilarious. i espeically liked the bit about pens, I collect pens myself and so know exactly what you mean. Brilliant writing from the start, funny witty and sarcastic, shelved with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

I think this is chick lit at its finest. Smartly written and oh so witty. From where I sat there wasn't a weak spot to be seen. That self-assured narrator of yours gets in the readers head and stays there. Well done. On my shelf. C.P

Hello C-M, Well done. Consulting iwth a dead Ernest Hemingway and a lot of other problems on the way to love, this is splendid. Good luck. SHELVED.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm. (Would you care to look at my story, please?)

Hi C-M, this is refreshing, witty, human, great fun and a hoot. Love the pitch and the writing lives up to the promise. This is well paced, stylish and your MC is just right for this target market. (Although I reckon this is oodles better than chick lit. Sophstichick lit I reckon. I am hoping HC will include a 'women's commercial fiction' genre to this site so I can slip mine into it too. Backed with pleasure.
Sarah (A Midsummer Night's Secret)

I love this - the heroine is likeable and the voice is so beguiling. If it's possible to do funny/light with clever, I think you might have done it here. Happy to back it

Your book's pitch is utterly fascinating...and the book even more so! Aren't we all out to write the next great novel? This is just fabulous as to what lengths one will go to get out their novel...and the adventures in between! This wins a well-deserved spot on my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

I was right to put this book on my shelf after a short read. Now reading all the chapters I know it was the correct thing to do. It has a good balance of serious and comedy. Love Miranda, plus all characters are well rounded. A very well written book which gave me an enjoyable two hours of reading. glad this is on my shelf, sure this will do very well.

Hi Christina-Marie, I'm enjoying this - you have such a strong voice for Miranda. I can see why some people are wondering if you can sustain it - or if, as readers, we will follow - because she is quite exhausting in a way, but I think that energy works well. I'm also enjoying the larger than life characters around her and the pitch promises interesting developments ahead - so I'm backing this. Good luck! AnneX

Miranda Writes

Hi Christina-Marie

I have been reading this on and off for a few days now, a great piece of work. The characterisation is excellent, we are straight into her head. But the best bit for me is the way her stream of consciousness thinking folds in upon itself and leads us into the next part of the story. She is so powerfully evoked, you have crisp dialogue and the cynical air that there is in some parts of this story goes completely with the grain of her character. What a great journey we are on. I am still reading this and will continue to do so, but I wanted to pop up and say hello, fantastic writing, it will stay on my shelf for a few days now.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)
Any help you can be, gratefully received

When you read my book you will understand why it is a moral imperative that I back this book.

loved this!
Miranda is well developed and the cast of supporting characters are all well developed.. I'm looking forward to seeing the book completed. If you are interested in publishing this as an ebook, check out Paperboxbooks.com, this is the type of book we like to publish.

Backed, for an engaging combination of chick lit and Hemingway (good grief!).

I liked the premiss so much that i thought I'd read the book. The opening line is very good and what follow gives us an immediate insight into the character of Miranda but i found myself wondering would i like her enough to follow her through more chapters even if i do think that the story line is a good idea. Maybe some empathetic comment somewhere from her showing a chink in her armour might endear the reader and give us a reason to continue, because your writing is excellent and witty and so well paced. i am backing this to read more and see if i can like her more.
Chris (inside Out)

Hi Miranda, Entertaining and written with panache. The Hemingway path that Miranda takes is especially delicious at the bar and with Aiden although I wondered at his saying his ex-girlfriends died. The way you depicted Miranda tailing Foster caused me to see the oblivious man going about his life, normally not so heroic. I got to her fitness membership and her discovery of his marriage separation. This is a zany, witty, romance in reverse! Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Christine

You're pitch is great......So is your profile....I'm backing you for finding the time to write with 7 kids....xxxx

I read your first two chapters....,Well crafted likeable characters (Miranda comes across as a bit shallow but perhaps that's exactly what you want)....... and plot moving along at an even place.

What struck me...Is that the narrative Miranda does not have the same 'voice' as the speaking Miranda..... Narrative Miranda......I am, I will, you are. ...

Speaking Miranda......I'm, I'll, it's........With the odd formal.....I will,,,,,here and there....

Decide what you want her to sound like and be consistent.....

I know this is a nightmare of a job, but just edit a chapter a week.....No rush....You really need to sit here on the site for at least 6 months before all your mistakes are flushed out...

Backed with pleasure.

Thanks for the first-chapter feedback. Miranda continues her neurotic quest throughout the book, but she does have a good heart and, although she has intimacy issues, she genuinely cares for others. I hope you'll continue to read when you have time!

xoxo

This is a great idea, and you write with wit and enthusiasm. My one thought - on the basis of the first chapter (I don't have time to read more at the moment) is that Miranda is so absorbed in her own quest that a whole book of her behaving like this would be irritating - I hope she develops genuine interest in other people at some point, or she will come across as simply using others for her own ends (and I would want to slap her by the end of chapter four!)
Having said that, I'll give this a whirl on my shelf - you write well, and this had the makings of an entertaining read. The best of luck with it, j
The Storm Drain

Christina,

I normally post some detailed comments when I back a book. Today has been a long one for me, so I hope you will accept my backing with a promise to come back later with additional comments.

Based on your pitches and what I read in your chapters, I couldn't resist placing this on my shelf to give you some exposure.

Rodney