How Did I Fall In Love With You?

Darling...I love the story. I'm not doing this just to return the backing thing (NO I Don't Do that)...HONESTLY, I love your plot and i'm still reading chapter 6! ah, BACKED with Stars.

Marah

Tracy Luu,
I love you,
With a love,
That's, oh, so true...

All best and backed, again.

GK Stritch

Tracy -

How Did I Fall In Love With You? - What's a girl to do? Just thought - this would make a snappy title. I like Sophie, she reads people well, has a good sense of humour and it's a pleasure to see her coming into her own. Things heat up in the second chapter. In the first chapter the reader learns a lot in the crisp dialogue between Sophie and her friends, although the subtle build up of tension could be improved with a little more immediacy. One speech-line confused ... 'You always seem to make me laugh, Sophie ...' I thought Dylan addressed Taylor here. Depressing mood appears twice in ch 1, you may mean depressed mood (low would also work). The para where it says near the end ... The past is the past ... I'd take out ... let's get back to the story ... It had the effect of taking me out of it. While ... The past is the past. ... ties perfectly back into Sophie's present. Another sentence that's a little unclear ... I watched as she hurriedly headed down the length of the table ... Here my example of immediacy ... launched at Nat, smacked the back of his head and stalked out of the cafeteria ... says it all.
Having bored you with details - I like your writing, it flows, and the theme is a winner for YA - so definitely worth revisiting that 1st chapter for a polish. :) I'm pleased to rate this story with a handful of stars.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

I don't normally read anythying approaching chick-lit or romance, but I'm concentrating on my own genre at the moment so gave yours a read. Guess what? I really enjoyed it. Though some of the American references were strange to me, an English audience wouldn't be phased, and in fact, would enjoy it. I found it very reminiscent of school days - all the concerns and doings, and I enjoyed the writing style. Believable conversation and characters, and appealing interactions and scenarios. On my watchlist while I read more.

One or two small observations as a reader: I wonder would it be 'depressed mood..' rather than 'depressing mood..' as the latter suggests the mood itself is what is depressing her.

One thing to watch out for are possible cliches or overused terms:
tucking a strand of hair behind the ear.... guilty of that myself... but so are too many others! and 'pretty blue-eyed blonde.'

This
book
is
perfect,
thank
you
!

This is chick-lit at its best - engaging dialogue, vivid descriptions & you certainly managed to involve the reader to the point that I felt part of your book. I could see your book working just as well on stage or on the big screen too & have every reason to feel it will be a success. Best wishes - Paula Barrett (Cuthbert: How mean is my valley?)

Tracy,

Returning your read, sorry for the delay in doing so.

Lots of dialogue in your opening chapter and in the main well done. One thing you might like to look at is how often your characters use each other's names in dialogue, then listen to some people talking: in real life we tend not to use the names of people we're talking to unless it's to get their attention.

Otherwise though this was an easy read and happy to give it a spin on the shelf.

Backed.

Dear me, Tracy Luu,

Hand me a hankie, and, yes, what is a girl to do? How Did I Fall in Love With You? Boo hoo hoo. This surely is a YA crowd pleaser. Love the nice easy and natural dialogue.

Best wishes and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

How Did I Fall In Love With You?

Tracy Luu

I think for a YA audience, this might be appealing as your setting and themes are relevant to that age-group. As non-YA, I'm not competent to assess this though. Read chapter one and thought there was much realism to the dialogue, and the characters seemed credible in the lunchroom/school setting. All the best with it Tracy.

Hi,

I just started reading your novel based on your synopsis which caught my eye. I'll come back later and read. For now, my advice is to watch your verb tenses (I saw present tense sneak in with past tense verbs). And I would ditch the first paragraph and start with the line about eating the BLT. I think your readers will pick up that your characters are in a school cafeteria based on the dialogue. And you weave in snippets of exposition to describe the setting.

Patricia

Yes romance eh, what would we do without it? I like, the cover, the pitch and the story within it. it is a well written love story that to my knowledge will sell mainly to young adults and older ones for that matter. You know what they say, you're never too old for love; or something of that nature. I like it very much and I can't wait to see it in print and in bookstores. So I am going to give you my support by BACKING it.
Good luck with the publication and with your writing career.
Pamela 'THE OUTRAGE'

A very well written story with excellent realistic dialogue and emotion.
I can see this doing very well with YA readers.
Backed with pleasure.

Simon,
Yuko Zen is Somewhere Else.

'You're probably wondering if Dylan laughed at me back then, why he would want me now' ... the thought did cross my mind. Ah, the duckling to swan transformation. Do Nate and Maddie fancy each other? They certainly make enough sparks with all that friction. Sophie has her head screwed on enough to be aware that the Dylan date might be a bet. 'Not everything is what it seems', huh, what's happening here? Not sure who to feel sorry for, poor rich-but-misunderstood Dylan, or Sophie who hasn't a clue how to work out just what Dylan really is. 'I didn't know you had a thing for Nate' ... I did.

Perfect teenage angst, Tracy, but leavened with humour. In a world that is increasingly difficult for young people to negotiate, this offers familiar ground, with signposts, empathy and some light relief. It is the book-equivalent of a great bunch of friends ... backed.

Possible nits: 'I'm sure your lack of love life isn't so hot either', to make sense, delete 'lack of'. 'captain of the football, soccer, basketball and baseball team[s]', are there enough hours in the day? 'my mom, Eric, Maddie and Nate', who's Eric? 'just by the way how her brown ponytail', omit 'how'. 'I'll [I] love you both'.

Great teenage chick lit. Your story moves along at a cracking pace with plenty of realistic dialogue from believable characters.
Backed
Robert Davidson
THE TUZLA RUN

Should appeal to young adults. Your writing is nicely paced and realistic. Good luck with this and if you can, please take a look at The President's Wife is on Prozac by Jayne Lind.

Tracy - I read the first chapter and I enjoyed it so far. I am excited read more! This very much reads like a true YA novel.

Dear Tracy, I absolutely fell in love with your book cover, and your pitch. A romance story that will appeal to all. Backed with utmost pleasure, all the best of luck to you.
Sincerely
Helen
The Last Dream

Realistic dialog right from the start makes a great young adult romance. I think your book will truly appeal to young women. You cover so many of the universal themes of being a teenage girl! Well done!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe
Would you consider backing MEMORIES OF GLORY? It's also about a teen - set in the late 1960's - I think you might like it. I thank you for taking a look.

What a super story. I like your early introduction of dialogue as well as the way you leave it for a bit for a few paragraphs of explanation. You have a neat way of drawing in the reader. Well done. Backed Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid. Like to give mine a try? It's historical fiction of a newish type! Bless you and good luck.

Dear Tracy ,
I started reading this some time ago and came back to it. I am not sure whether my backing turned up then so i will be backing this again. Just beautiful cover, and good pitches. You have crafted a genuine beautiful book here and it is appealing in its easy flow ...CONGRATS on a good book BACKED BY ME.
I would love you to review my book, different genre but like me cross over and comment on the craft or skill . and please comment and if you feel back my work.
again thank you for a good read best of luck
Denise
The Letter

Dear Tracy, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your book, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed unedited memoir version, "Tell Me True Love Stories?" I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. Hope you'll put some more of your writings on authonomy - I love how you write. :)
authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
Here is the response I received from authonomy concerning backing:
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Very nice! Backed.
Lucy

I really like your voice - the dialogue flows well and you've got a great story here. I think this would do very well in the teenage market. I'm very happy to back this work. Nicely done.

This was written for the teenager and hits it direct on the head. The conversation was good and pushed the story along. The story line entertaining with the obvious naivety of the teenage characters. Happy to back this work. Ps What's a block in first para? Kept going back to that to try to understand. But I am English, that's my excuse.
Keith - Unit T

Hi Tracy,
I'm a sucker for a good romance and reading your preview pulled me right in. I have only read two chapters (down to time constrictions) and very much like what I have read. You set up the story very well in describing Sophie's hatred for Dylan. YA will love this type of read.
Backed with pleasure
Sam (Fallacy)

This writing flows well, we are immediately drawn into the world and the dilemnas of the main characters. This should fit snugly into the genre you are aiming at.
Millie :0)

This is very well written. I found it sweet, emotional and entertaining. You characterisation is very good and many will like to relate with Sophie as she goes through very real emotions of a teenager. Your narration/dialogue and Sophie's POV is appropriate, vivid and fluid. This is a topic young or old, one has experienced and lived at some point, hence I can see this story doing very well.
Backed earlier.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Dear Tracy, I love romantic stories - when I was 17, I chose the one who said, "I love you" & it was a disastrous marriage, as you'll see in my memoir. Hope you write more wonderful books. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch, which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

Tracy, What a well writen, delightful, moving, fun, and hopeful story. I think this is a perfect book for your genre. Your opening is wonderful because your dialogue welcomes us into the wonderful circle of friends and immediately we feel the emotional connection.

I've read all fifteen chapters and I must say your pace is perfect, but it is your descriptive writing that paints the emotions of these teens so clearly, that their anxiety and fears, as well as the hope and friendship encapsulates us and whisks us away to their wonderful town.

Your MC's have a depth about them and even though it is Dylan and Sophies journey we wonder about because of the simple but complex circumstances, we find ourselves just as invested in Nate and Maddie, Hayle and josh.

You keep our interest peeked throughout and I can't wait to see how it all turns out Backed with a big smile Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

My daughter read this a few days ago for a little while and both of agree this should do well in the YA Market.

Shelved!

NJ Capaldi
Crescent Heart

How Did I Fall In Love With You? - Tracy Luu

Heey,
Stumbled upon this during a browse. I'm a romance junkie, and the title caught my eye :)
I'll comment as I read...

Chapter 1:

* You started with vaguely setting the scene, and giving the reader a taste of the MC's life, thoughts and personality. It wasn't a hooking first paragraph, but I like that you've jumped straight away into dialogue rather than introducing and throwing names at the reader.

* "Like I said[,] you're still keen on her, aren't you?" <-- I think a comma here rather than a full stop. Having 'Like I said' on it's own doesn't really makes sense. Also, I'm not really sure 'keen' is the right word, but unless there is another word you'd use instead, keep it.

* Take away a few of the dialogue tabs. All these 'I said' and 'he shouted' are taking away from the story.

* "'How do you know that' he sighed. 'You weren't there[?]'" <-- Why is he saying this as a question? Not sure the question mark is needed here.

* I like that Sophie isn't one of the girls mooning over Dylan, and that he is still after her because she's harder to get than other girls. The characters seem 3D already :)

* "I [had even] begun changing my appearance to look better for him." <-- Try 'had' and 'even' this way round.

* Love how chatty Sophie is. Nate and Maddie are great, too. They argue, and the way they react always makes characters more real.

This is excellent work, and I really enjoyed it. Definitely backing it. Also, wondering if you could check out my book Psychic?

Thanks,
Alanaa x x

This is a truly enjpyable story from beginning to end. Great characterization! I like your style of writing, though I would recommend tightening the dialogue just a bit. There is a bit of repitition here and there. And, I would love to see you add more descriptions of setting and feelings. I think it would help us readers to visualize what is happening and to take part in the feelings of the characters.

Backed with pleasure!
Tina marie
(Undesirable Circumstances)

Dear Tracy --

I liked and identified with Sophie immediately -- her self-described hatred of Dylan in spite of his popularity and her former crush on him illustrated her developing depth and set us up for the problems she's about to have with him. This is great stuff for the YA audience: authentic, realistic, with a great message woven through without preaching.

Very happy to back How Did I Fall in Love with You? -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

read the first chapter and loved it loved it loved it... backed!!!

Oh my gosh crazy Mama has asked herself this question more than a few times! This is perfect for your genre...I just hope it has a happy ending...am a sucker for that!! Backed.

Hi Tracy
I've only had a chance to read the first chapter, but you have done a great job so far. You've created engaging characters, and the premise is fresh and relatable to a YA audience.
I think overall you do a great job with the dialogue, but I would follow the suggestion of one of the other readers and go through and read it out loud to catch any awkward lines or anything that doesn't sound like something a teenager would say.
Also, in the middle section, I think you veer a little bit into to much telling and not enough showing. The section about Sophie's makeover and past loves was a little bit long to insert right into the middle of a scene, and I felt it lost a little bit of momentum from the introduction of Dylan to when he asked Sophie out. Maybe you can incorporate some of that information later on, or break it up some?
Like I said though, I think you have a great start for a YA book here, and I plan to read more!
KH

Good job fleshing out your characters in this first chapter. I liked the way you used dialogue to bring out the character's descriptions and attributes. The nice subtleties allowed me to see who they were without any over description. This allowed the story to flow better and speed up the pace without the loss of emotion.

Backed!

Dwayne

This reminded me of one of those teen drama's i catch halfway through on television whilst flicking through the channels, finding myself watching till the end and then making a note so I can accidently find myself watching it again. Your writing is engaging, your characters feel authentic and your dialogue fizzes.
Backing was a pleasure.
David
Bailey of the Saints

Your dialogue is very believable. this is well written and will undoubtedly resonate with the teen reader. I found nothing to nit pick--I think it's a great read and your main character is likable!
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

How Did I fall in Love With You?

This is perfect for the genre, dialogue driven and so, so engaging.
I think what makes it better then average is the absolutely brilliant characters, their hope and fears, their wants and doubts. You capture this so well.
This is in the top echelon for the genre!

All right, I admit it, I'm a sap for this kind of story, and you had me at the opening ling. You've created some fantastic characters, particularly Sophie, and you have not fallen into the trap of treating young characters like naive idiots, they're intelligent, and they're learning, and you have put that on display. Fabulous

One tiny thing I noticed, and this could just be me, but this sentence seemed to end abruptly, like there were a couple of words missing.
"Unsure about what's to become."

Other than that, great work!
Abi xxx

Intriguing opening (only had tome so far to look at first few pages). Some good hooks into the story and developing nicely so far. Will read some more and add any additional thoughts in the next couple of days.

Clive
Cincinnati Dancing Pig

I think this is perfect for the YA market; I have a 13-year-old niece and I can imagine her reading this. Your dialogue is good--seems realistic to me even though I'm a bit removed from high school! I like the tone Sophie takes at times, the way she addresses the reader in a casual, conversational way. One thing: sometimes the dialogue is a bit unbelievable or awkward, for example the paragraph that starts "That's why my friends are ones who don't always..." There's some kind of error there, but aside from that, the statement is so awkward. I think if you say it out loud, after some distance from it, you'll find that it wouldn't be something someone would say. Probably a good idea to read all of it out loud, especially dialogue. Good introduction of characters, great setting of the central issue. Good pacing too. Happy to back this...overall, well done YA writing.

This is not my genre, but I am happy to back this. The dialogue is very good, and you bring great pace to the story. Best wishes. Colin

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?:

Tracy,

The perfect plot for a chick-lit romance. And the perfect voice. And your writing style has been perfectly honed for your genre. (Repetition of words for emphasis!!)

You have a good blend of action, dialogue and exposition, giving your writing a very pleasing flow, and making it easy to read. The characters are well fleshed out and your dialogue is absolutely authentic and explicit, adding to the characterisation.

This is a most entertaining novel and should do very well.

Backed.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Refreshing, read, I can see this would be a hit with young adult readers. I like the relaxed informal style which goes well with the idea of young romance. It is very accessible and you make this so often with your choice of words. The dialogue is believable. I like the humour, - 'I'd rather have someone with a brain instead of someone who constantly admires his own reflection in puddles when it rains."
Backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

Tracy, your first chapter reads well. Good mix of narrative and dialogue. I would slightly alter one sentence in your opening paragraph to: Unfortunately, I wasn't sure if my depressing mood had to do...

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Hi there!

I had fun reading the first chapter. Totally relateable and a believeable voice. Great job on this one! I found myself grinning right off the bat. Backed with pleasure! -JOLENE :)

This story should have a wide teenage audience because it describes so well the pain that a first love breakup can cause. Many, many readers will recognize themselves in this. And want to follow this and see how it all ends. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

From the pitch it sounds like a modern day high school Pride and Prejudice. The average girl catches the attention of the popular guy thought out of her reach.

Your writing is good, but I think some sections could do with an edit. Some sentances sound a little awkward or there's too much detail to sound believable. I have often been told to not insult the intelligence of the reader - trust that they have listened and you won't have to repeat certain things. For exmple in your work, you mention a teachers name on a couple of occassions where you could just simply say 'he'. But that's nothing major when you consider ther rest of your book as so fantastic. I wish you the best of luck with this.

Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice