Call Home the Child

This is a much better book than one could possibly guess from its low ranking - still in the two-thousands after eight months in Authonomy. I'm afraid this is a prime example of how, with aggressive marketing, very bad books can do well in the rankings, and how, without it, very good books can do badly. Agents and publishers should ignore the rankings and do the reading work themselves.
RT

Bill

Like your other work this is professional and competent writing. A well constructed story that engages the reader and delivers on all levels, dialogue, descriptions and characters. You have a powerful way of writing and an ability to convey feelings and emotions.

Backed and highly recommended .

Jane

Call Home the Child, by Bill Carrigan

The opening is snappy, pulls me in immediately, and carries me away (for five chapters, the dishes had to wait!) The writing comes across as natural, making it look easy... but it is too expertly written to have been easy. Carrigan must have worked hard on this.

There is an obliqueness to parts of the story and the dialogue that I know must have been carefully approached, because I'm never confused, but I always feel like I am really there, submersed in a new experience. Each word carefully selected to evoke a certain emotion... atmosphere...even an overall mood for the story and yet it's own mood for each scene.

At times this story brought tears to my eyes, and the entire time I read on admiring. This is advanced writing. I can only imagine it's not doing better because people don't know about it, or because they don't know good writing when they see it.

This may not be my most read genre, but I would read this story several times just in hopes that the techniques would seep into my brain and make me a better writer. To be honest, the skill here is almost intimidating (for a write, I don't think a reader would feel that way). This is a gentle story with a bit of mystery as you wonder what will happen to young Penny.

Carrigan is not afraid to let his characters be themselves, faults and all--this is the truth, only better.

What impresses me most, is that the POV character is a woman! How is it that Bill can write a woman's POV better than most women can?

The layers of subtext, be they intentional or accidental, are fantastic as well. Bill allows the reader to have their own feelings and opinions when reading--everything about his writing builds the reader/writer trust I believe to be important.

His writing exudes professionalism. The writing is fresh--no cliches, as it's probably clear by now this is something I admire in writing. The flow and paced of the story as a whole was nothing less than delightful. It's not too slow, and it's not a race to the finish. A beautiful and delicate balance. This story has been carefully handled. The voice of the MC remains consistent and enjoyable.

Best Seller Material. A master of dialogue.

xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

This is a winner. Jo is confident, caring and likable. Penny is precious. You are well fleshed out. Your descriptions of people and places are stunning. For example, your description of the Wilson's home. I can smell, feel and hear the house as well as see it. Your realistic dialogue flows naturally and propels your story forward. Your pacing suits my tastes for this genre. Backed.

Dear Bill

I have read the best part of your first five chapters and I am wondering why this book is not doing well in the rankings.

It has a compelling plot, excellent characterisations, good pacing, realistic dialogue. There is nothing wrong with it, no typos and nothing I would worry about changing. Let us see if a top rating can change your fortunes. Writing of this quality and consistency is rare and deserves to be recognised.

What is more, you seem to write equally well about and for men and women, which is an unusual talent and reassuring. I sincerely hope we see a rapid upturn in your fortunes here.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Dear Bill

I have just finished reading three chapters of "Call Home The Child" which is an engrossing, well drawn and emotional read for me. Something about it just gets to my heart, the realism perhaps, or the undertow of defeatism in a beautiful country. Another fine tale from your pen, which I shall be reading more of when time allows. Well worth rating highly. On my WL.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Call Home The Child / BILL CARRIGAN


I can't believe in all the times I'd opened Bill's bio page I'd never moved down further than The Doctor of Summitville to see that this wonderful book was there as well.

I'm just going to say it; THIS BOOK COULD WIN THE PULITZER and I couldn't argue that it didn't deserve it. There is nothing to critique, it's perfect in every way!!!!

In a nutshell, this is a powerful story that will reach your inner core.

I've read the first 3 chapters and like the comment beforehand am not understanding why this book is not earning its well deserved stars. I have rated it high and have it on my WL for now.
Regards, Red

I really enjoyed reading this book and will be putting it on my watchlist. Cecilia Williams (Emotional Integrity)

Bill

Like your other work this is professional and competent writing. A well constructed story that engages the reader and delivers on all levels, dialogue, descriptions and characters. You have a powerful way of writing and an ability to convey feelings and emotions.

Backed and highly recommended .

Jane

This is a much better book than one could possibly guess from its low ranking - still in the two-thousands after eight months in Authonomy. I'm afraid this is a prime example of how, with aggressive marketing, very bad books can do well in the rankings, and how, without it, very good books can do badly. Agents and publishers should ignore the rankings and do the reading work themselves.
RT

Bill, I put Call Home the Child on my watchlist to read. It touched my heart because my niece has adopted two & they are very precious children & so dear. I can't imagine our family without them. Cam is 7 now & he is such a special little guy despite all the problems he had from babyhood. He is our sunshine & now he has a baby sister as well. We should always protect children, yet unfortunately that isn't always possible, is it?
Thanks for your support of Summer of Fire. All the best, Karen

Bill, I put Call Home the Child on my watchlist to read. It touched my heart because my niece has adopted two & they are very precious children & so dear. I can't imagine our family without them. Cam is 7 now & he is such a special little guy despite all the problems he had from babyhood. He is our sunshine & now he has a baby sister as well. We should always protect children, yet unfortunately that isn't always possible, is it?
Thanks for your support of Summer of Fire. All the best, Karen

This is beautifully written and what a gripping first chapter. It saddens me that a book as good as this has not had more backing. I shall certainly tell a couple of friends. Backed with pleasure.
BADD

Well written and a great story. Things don't always go right, and I very much liked your very last paragraph. I only wish I had time to read it thoroughly. This one deserves success. Marj.

Dear Bill, Since I've already backed your book, I'll put it on my watchlist again to possibly help it advance. Please take a Moment & BACK "Tell Me True Love Stories" Thanks, Susie :)

Dear Bill, Very impressive - 5 novels. :) I liked Tender is the Night & To Kill A Mocking Bird (most people have only seen the movie with Gregory Peck, but nothing takes the places of the book. Your short paragraphs & dialogue make for an easy read. :) I'll back your book right now. :)
Thanks for backing my, He Loves Me. Could you take a moment to back my unedited version of it?
Tell Me True Love Stories
Thanks, Susie :)

This is a winner. Jo is confident, caring and likable. Penny is precious. You are well fleshed out. Your descriptions of people and places are stunning. For example, your description of the Wilson's home. I can smell, feel and hear the house as well as see it. Your realistic dialogue flows naturally and propels your story forward. Your pacing suits my tastes for this genre. Backed.

You can write, no doubt. And I do like the short pitch. The long pitch? Not such a fan. Think you can do better as you need to sell the casual reader why they need ot read your book. SHELVED cvos you can write.

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

Bill,

There's nothing to be done with your work, but to read it and back it. I can't imagine why it's not published.
Your backing of Moonbeam did show up in my news this time. Maybe you didn't back it before. Thank you.

Bill,

There's nothing to be done with your work, but to read it and back it. I can't imagine why it's not published.
Your backing of Moonbeam did show up in my news this time. Maybe you didn't back it before.

Bill,

This should be a terrific film/TV script. I sincerely hope someone buys this book and treats it with the special care it deserves.

Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

This is a beautiful story, beautifully written. Experty relalted and both visual and emotional. Very professional. Back with pleasure.

Call Home the Child, by Bill Carrigan

The opening is snappy, pulls me in immediately, and carries me away (for five chapters, the dishes had to wait!) The writing comes across as natural, making it look easy... but it is too expertly written to have been easy. Carrigan must have worked hard on this.

There is an obliqueness to parts of the story and the dialogue that I know must have been carefully approached, because I'm never confused, but I always feel like I am really there, submersed in a new experience. Each word carefully selected to evoke a certain emotion... atmosphere...even an overall mood for the story and yet it's own mood for each scene.

At times this story brought tears to my eyes, and the entire time I read on admiring. This is advanced writing. I can only imagine it's not doing better because people don't know about it, or because they don't know good writing when they see it.

This may not be my most read genre, but I would read this story several times just in hopes that the techniques would seep into my brain and make me a better writer. To be honest, the skill here is almost intimidating (for a write, I don't think a reader would feel that way). This is a gentle story with a bit of mystery as you wonder what will happen to young Penny.

Carrigan is not afraid to let his characters be themselves, faults and all--this is the truth, only better.

What impresses me most, is that the POV character is a woman! How is it that Bill can write a woman's POV better than most women can?

The layers of subtext, be they intentional or accidental, are fantastic as well. Bill allows the reader to have their own feelings and opinions when reading--everything about his writing builds the reader/writer trust I believe to be important.

His writing exudes professionalism. The writing is fresh--no cliches, as it's probably clear by now this is something I admire in writing. The flow and paced of the story as a whole was nothing less than delightful. It's not too slow, and it's not a race to the finish. A beautiful and delicate balance. This story has been carefully handled. The voice of the MC remains consistent and enjoyable.

Best Seller Material. A master of dialogue.

xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

Chapter 5: I tried to smile, but the result was blurred. genis. talk about fresh writing. You take a smile and make it original. I'm impressed, again.
What was with the black hair under his rolex? Is it a long black hair, or a short one? (or plural hair--like his arm hair) I think that might make a difference on what could be inferred by that comment. Please excuse my runaway imagination, just giving you my initial reactions here.

Okay, I really must stop now, though I wish to read more. I wish you all the best on this site and will be writing a review on your story for my recommendations thread (link in my profile). I will post a copy of my full review here for you as well. It's been a pleasure to read.

xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

Into chapter 4 the story continue to flow and I enjoy the pace of the story as a whole. It's not too slow, and it's not a race to the finish. A beautiful and delicate balance. This story has been carefully handled. The voice of the MC remains consistant and enjoyable. I can't believe you are writing so well from a woman's POV. Everything about your writing exudes professionalism.
Anyway, I used to ride horses. I remember whne I was first learning our trainer would not let us use stirrups to post, so we would learns to use our legs. What a nightmare. This story brings back a lot of memories for me.
Watch your use of "presently" it's comes suddenly in this chapter and used more than once, and I feel it's not really needed at all. Your story has a good continuity, so we are aware when we are in "story present".
I really loved the tension at the end with Jo and Rudy being in the loft. She'll need to not do things like that if she adopts Penny. Imagine if it was Penny who was left in hurt in that situation and not Nancy. IDK if you intended for that subtext or not, but that is what I took away from it.

a little nit for chapter 3. It feels omniscient to me to say, in the MC's POV, Mrs Nolan deliberated whether to eat a second roll and decided against it.
typo: Papa! a sack of groceries, really!" (a should be capitalized)
why s-h-q-t? and not s-h-i-t?
Overall, you make writing like this look so easy and natural, but it HAD to be a lot of work. come on, tell me, how much work was it? this is expertly written! The oblique dialogue is amazing! I loved the dinner scene where Jo is trying to talk about one thing and for awhile it's like her parents are all having their own conversation. You allow your characters to be themselves, faults and all, leaving the MC feeling uncomfortable and trying to stay out of the conversation.
And so, did i read that right--Jo's mom is disabled? That whole scene was excellent.
The end of the chapter brought tears to my eyes. This is fantastic writing. I could only hope to one day write as well as you have in this story. This is best seller material.
xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

I read through the second chapter as well. Your writing is very advanced. You master dialogue. a hint of obliqueness to the story gives it a mysterious and at the same time natural feel. Reading this is an experience.

Chapter two was soooo sad to me. How hard that must be. It's sad to see children taken from their family. How bad is the situation I wonder? For the children to be taken away I'm imagining severe neglect and abuse. If it's because they can't afford food, why wouldn't they give them food? Here we have programs for that sort of thing. But, this takes place far in the past. Is that what is was like then? I feel like I have to read more and find out what happened.

First! I love the cover and title and premise of your book. This is something I would pick up and start to read even in the store. the first sentence provides a great visual, and there is a lot to be said of "stone wall" "pond" and "lily pads" as evocative words. You immediately set a mood for your story.
Then moving into the following two paragraphs there is the convern of the main character watching her, and the change of tone from a sweet scene to impending danger. Your word choices change with that emotion as well to "desolation" "isolated" "October gusts" and "no sign of life".
It's a snappy opening. You pull us in immediately and carry us away.
You are missing a comma after "For a moment"
a "rustic fence" You nail every description.
And when the dialogue starts--what a visual! She's talking, the child isn't listening, she is moving closer and talking again--I can SEE this happening.
In the section of dialogue with "Where did she come from" I got a bit confused. Now it's clear after reading a few times, maybe the noise in the background of my house distracted me, but I think it would be absolutely clear if you said "the woman asked me, flciking ashes... Then I know the dialogue is between adults now. Might just be my brain going out on me though. See what you think.
What a great mystery surrounding what will happen to Penny. Poor child! This is fantastic. I would buy a novel like this. It's not inside my most-read genre, but I love the story already.
Backed
xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

Bill I loved your pitch and the first 3 chapters that I had time to read- sorry it wasn't more.
Your book is a pleasure to read and straight away had me engrossed in the story; a sign of a great book.
I like your style of writing which is very convincing- backed with pleasure!

This book will no doubt be sitting on the Ed's desk in a short time.
All the very best,
Manolya- Love in No-Man's Land

Hi, Bill: I'm just getting my bearings in the system. I read the first and part of the second chapter. I really like your clear storytelling. I can't say if it's because I expected something different, but I half believe the protagonist (in the first chapters) doesn't think like a woman. I can't put my finger on why, exactly, which makes me wonder if it's expectation speaking. I'm backing this at the moment and hope to get back and read in more detail in the days ahead. Best always, Tim Greaton

This is a good story. Compelling characters and feels natural. Backed with pleasure, Sana

Call home the Child is expertly written - the first scene with the child at the pond is taught and beautiful, the arrival of Jo so vividly describes her character we feel we already know her. The plight of poor Penny is enough to keep me turning the pages but to ahve well crafted prose and believable dialogue as well, means this is gets a sure backing from us!

M&j
GRAEMOR

(If you have time perhaps you could take a look at Graemor?)

This is, of course, smooth, polished, professional writing. It betrays a certain ease, even charm, that is very facile in telling a difficult story, and telling it well. I like the easy flowing dialog, and narration, and the descriptive passages are beautifully economical and to the point. Also, as a former foster parent of children of a variety of heritages different from my own, I can certainly relate to the story it tells. Shelved.

This is very clean writing that is both engaging and enjoyable to read. Clearly you are a talented story-teller. While the subject matter is not my normal fare I can clearly see the power of your story. Backed.
Cheers Cam.

This is very clean writing that is both engaging and enjoyable to read. Clearly you are a talented story-teller. While the subject matter is not my normal fare I can clearly see the power of your story. Backed.
Cheers Cam.

First person narration can be difficult but it's handled here with aplomb. The characters are beautifull drawn and the whole convincingly observed.

An exceptionally well crafted novel from an obviously talented writer. Call Home the Child is a pleasure to read

Hi Bill,
Another masterwork of attitudes, kindness and caring. - shelved

Only one line sounded off to me 'Still thought to be very catching' in #2 I know exactly what you meant but it pulled me out of the time and place and into today. 'Most people think it's highly contagious' would be my solution.

Good luck with this

John

Dear Bill,

When reading is such pleasure every subtle observation chimes.
Call Home the Child has the feel of an emotionally congruent drama, and is also a rich record or your times, touching on a number of relevant, interrelated themes, but most significantly, forgiveness and love.
I wish for both your books to be published with speed.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Your pitch made me want to read some of this compelling book. It is one I would love to read to the end. Your descriptions are wonderful, drawing the reader a picture, and your characters are real flesh and blood people. A beautifully written book which deserves to be published and I wish you luck with it. Backed without any hesitation. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

Hi Bill,

I think I was the first to back The Doctor Of Summitville back in July. We were both so green at the time, weren’t we?

I commend you on your dedication and to the fine editing and writing you've done during the past few months. Call The Child Home is wonderfully written. You’ve done a good job with the characters, the conflicts, and this novel tugs at the emotions.

I think last paragraph of your full pitch would interest an agent or editor. It certainly hooked me. You might want to take another look at your classifications.

I’m happy to shelve you.

Rodney

I have read both your book now and both are equally as strong. Bill you seem to have a knack of drawing a character by the little things he does. Attention to detail. It works so well. I think that's why when I read something you have written there is a comfortable feeling about it. As is I am in good hand and can relax and enjoy the read. Good luck with this and on my shelf.
Connie

Your a very difficult writer to critique, Bill. Your descriptions are short, yet revealing. Complicated, yet simply presented. You paint a scene flawlessly and I'm impressed right from the off. I have a lot to learn from you.
Just one thing kicks out at me. Mrs. Wilson is described as poor, uneducated I suppose, since she has AIDS, and in very poor health. I would think her speach would be of a lower level than that of the other two ladies. I expected her to say "lass" instead of "last", "don't got" instead of "don't have", "chil'ren" instead of "children", etc.

I can tell you've done your research well. Bill, I can't fault your writing. Just the above. Hope this helps, cause you really helped me. I feel I'm not returning the favor, but you are too polished, sigh. I'll shelve this for you. -- Dave

Once again, this is excellent writing, Bill. I've already backed and commented on your "Doctor..." but your pitch drew me to this as well. This first chapter is beautiflly executed and this is another book of yours, I can happily "back." You already reciprocated many moons ago so not looking for another "pat on the back" here.

Betty K "The Huguenot's....."

Hi Bill, I've had your book on my shelf for quite a while and finally found time to read it - so engrossed I read it all in one go. It's beautifully written, fast unfolding story, characters all gradually revealed as in some way odd or dysfunctional and even though the child, Penny, is the centre of it all in some ways she seems slightly spectral. Interesting book.

Your writing is impeccable, the characters as real as the tulip poplars on Blue Ridge Mountain. I think the true test of a good read is when you find yourself liking certain characters, hating others, and getting emotionally involved with a storyline. I felt for Mrs. Wilson and little Penny, and I was aghast with Ralph's betrayal. This story contains a little of everything, just enough to keep the interest alive, each dramatic event cleverly woven into the plot with smooth transitions and realistic dialogue. Underneath all the drama, one never loses sight that a child's fate in a world that still sees things in black or white is at stake. Another brilliant novel on my shelf!
Isabel

Call Home The Child

Hi Bill,

You are a good writer, drawing us into that first scene, offering us enough of a description of the players to set our imagination on fire, rather than overburdening us with too many words and drowning the beauty you see with your observational eye. The prose style is mournful, delicate and tentative, there is something majestic about this ordinary world you describe, in that I mean, you hunt out the majestic and present it to us through your wise view of the world. For example, she was not quite pretty, this is a clever phrase, it is a phrase that means all things to all people, a very democratic piece of writing, but it also defines what she is not by a whisker and therefore created an image in my mind of what she was as the further details of her flowed on. An arresting piece of writing, story hanging off the shoulders of these well defined and understood characters. This is powerful writing Bill and I wish you well with it, deserves to go far on this site. If you have the time to peek at my book it would be so helpful at this stage in the game.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)

Hi, Bill. Just read a few paragraphs and will return to it later. I see (so far) the writing is of the same quality as I found in your other one so I went ahead and backed it.