Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 14453
date submitted 12.11.2009
date updated 17.05.2012
genres: Fiction, Thriller
classification: universal
complete

Conflicts of Interest

Bob Steele

David Tyler’s profession has already cost him his marriage and his self-respect. Now a global business conspiracy could cost him his life.

 

In London, an accountant asks too many questions about a multi-million dollar contract. In New York, a ruthless executive conspires to take control of a global professional firm. In Moscow, criminals plot a money-laundering scam. The fallout engulfs management consultant David Tyler.

David’s job has already wrecked his marriage and destroyed his illusions. When events put his career on the line, he must choose between his principles and his ambitions.

Ditched by his girlfriend and shunned by colleagues, David wrestles with his own shortcomings and his partners’ duplicity. Alone, he finds unexpected help from his ex-wife Rosalind and her father. Together they unravel the conspiracy that entraps him. The trail leads into a business underworld where the truth is deadlier than he bargains for.

Facing torture and death, David runs for his life. His dilemma now is how to defeat his pursuers and retrieve his reputation without scandal bringing down the entire firm. His relationship with Rosalind may have another chance too, if he can avoid repeating past mistakes.

On the battlefield of life, he realises, there are no neat, happy endings. There are only new beginnings. And conflicts of interest.

 
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tags

conspiracy, fraud, kidnap, management consultant, money laundering, murder, take-over, torture

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Chapter 1

 

If he had been clairvoyant, Luke Graham would have spent his final hours differently. Since he wasn’t, he just hurled down his pencil in frustration. It ricocheted off his rosewood desk, flew past the conference table and almost reached the door of his office on the second bounce. He raised his eyes to follow the trajectory and felt a glimmer of satisfaction.

There was precious little else to be satisfied about. He resisted the urge to throw the PetroProm file in the same direction, though for all the progress he’d made with his analysis of the contents he might as well. Nobody would raise a protest. Blake and Moorfield was one of the world’s top management consulting firms, and tradition was deep-rooted. Few people would dare take issue with anything a partner did.

Then, as if to prove him wrong, the door swung open.

“Sorry, I saw the light on and wondered who was in your office,” Bob Pearson said. “I thought you were supposed to be in Moscow.”

Luke’s heart sank at the prospect of an inquisition.

“I was over there. I flew back this afternoon.” He forced a grin onto his face. “You startled me. I figured I was the only idiot still left in the building this late.”

“No chance. First in last out, that’s me. So what dragged you in here from the airport? Problems at PetroProm?”

It was Pearson’s nose that was first in and last out of everyone else’s business, but it wasn’t done to tell your fellow partners to fuck off. Not the more senior ones, anyway.

“You know what these risk assessments of potential new clients are like,” he said. “Everyone seems to downplay problems and bend the rules these days. I’m the poor sod who’s got to make sure the risks and rewards stack up before you slick bastards all rush off and angle for increased profit shares on the strength of dodgy contracts.”

Pearson laughed. “I bet that attitude went down a treat with Leonid Borisov. He runs the Russian firm like he was a reincarnation of the Tsar.”

“Yeah, well, partners in charge of local offices don’t usually threaten to throw me out of the door.” Luke grimaced at the recollection. “But there’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”

More to the point, he thought, local partners didn’t normally try to block discussion of important issues with their clients or turn a post-meeting debriefing into a table-thumping rant. He’d asked a few awkward questions about the viability of the project and the memory of Borisov’s fury was still vivid. The threat he’d seen in the man’s narrowed eyes still had the power to send a shiver down his spine.

“I don’t know why you bother with all that red tape crap anyway.” Pearson shrugged. “If the firm wants to do business in iffy markets like Eastern Europe you should just tick the boxes and look the other way. You can bet that’s what our competitors do.”

He felt the colour rise in his face. “That’s nonsense and you know it. One of the guys on the Management Board was joking about the same thing the other day – at least, I hope he was joking - and I’m fed up with it. We need to be more careful, not less, in that kind of environment.”

“In theory, maybe.” Pearson smirked and wagged his finger. “But take it from me, that kind of old-fashioned attitude won’t do your career much good. Anyway, PetroProm’s a huge company. You can’t seriously reckon there’s any risk about doing business with them, can you?”

Luke felt a flash of anger. Patronising sod. Then his forehead wrinkled in a frown. Maybe the whiff of corruption attached to the prospective contract was all in his imagination. Maybe. His office in Moorfield House was a far cry from the dingy décor and musty smell of PetroProm’s Moscow headquarters on Dubininskya Street where his day had started, but it wasn’t the atmosphere there that spooked him. Nor was it a matter of cultural differences. The Russians at the meeting were no ordinary businessmen, he was sure of that. They seemed eager to sign a contract without any concerns about whether the experts they wanted to hire knew what they were talking about. Clients for management consultancy services didn’t behave that way, even in the emerging markets where hidden agendas were a fact of life.

Not that it was any of Pearson’s business.

He suppressed the urge to say so. It might be fun to wind his visitor up a little.

“I reckon they’re crooked as hell.” He ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head as if puzzled. “I’ve still got a bit of work to do to find the proof, that’s all. There’ll be uproar at the Management Board presentation tomorrow if I recommend they walk away from a multi-million dollar deal just on the basis of my gut feelings.”

“Christ, you’re not going to do that, are you?”

The look of horror on Pearson’s face was comical, and Luke couldn’t resist the temptation to continue.

“Why not?” He smacked the file with the flat of his hand. “It’s all in here. There are some big questions about where the parent company gets its money from, and the banking arrangements are pretty murky. I figure Borisov knows it, too. He nearly had a fit when he found out I’d got hold of details of their finances.”

“You can’t be serious. Surely you don’t think there’s a major problem?”

He heard a harsh edge in Pearson’s voice and decided he’d pushed things far enough.

“Maybe, maybe not. We need to figure it out one way or the other pretty damn quick, though. That’s why I came into the office. David Tyler is good on banking stuff and I was hoping to talk it through with him.” He pursed his lips and shrugged. “Just my luck, though, he’s down at the training centre today.”

“You haven’t spoken to him then?”

The question burst out of Pearson’s lips like the cork out of a champagne bottle, and Luke recoiled with a frown.

“Not yet, as it happens. His phone’s off, so I’ve left him a voicemail and put copies of the papers in the internal mail for him instead. But what’s it to you?”

“Oh, nothing… just curious, that’s all.” Pearson’s eyes slid towards his watch and he clicked his tongue as if in annoyance. “Look, sorry, I must dash; got a few phone calls to make.”

Luke stared at the door as it swung closed behind his visitor. Who the hell was the man off to phone at this time of night? What a weird end to the conversation, even by Bob Pearson’s standards. Then he sighed and tossed the papers into his briefcase. It was time he went home, but that didn’t mean he could duck his responsibilities. When there was a big contract in the offing, all sorts of people started to play games. It wasn’t dishonesty, not really. It was human nature. So here he was again, growing ulcers over issues nobody else seemed to give a damn about.

He slammed the door behind him and limped down the corridor. The knee he’d twisted in the rugby match on Saturday hurt. What the hell, though. It was a small price to pay for one afternoon a week where there were rules people followed most of the time, and a referee to make sure.

In the lift he scowled down at the deep creases in his trousers that airline seats seemed designed to create. Appearances mattered, and he looked a mess. He straightened his tie and pulled his trench coat on over the travel-worn Armani suit. Better. Not much, but better. The lift sighed to a halt. He stepped out and strode towards the exit.

“Goodnight Sir.”

The security guard’s voice echoed around the stainless steel and glass of the atrium and he waved a hand in acknowledgement. Irritation and a touch of jet-lag lent unintended strength to his arm so that the revolving door clipped his heels and sent him with a stumble into the night. Rain plastered his thin blond hair against his scalp and he cursed as water slid coldly down his neck. He turned up his coat collar and set off down the street, preoccupied with his thoughts. He’d got himself into a real mess on this project, and it was entirely his own fault. He should have trusted his first instincts and acted sooner. Either that or he should have buried his doubts and chosen to look the other way a few days ago, when he had the chance. He snorted. Bob Pearson would have loved that.

The weight of the briefcase made his shoulder muscles ache, and he shifted it to his left hand, the wet leather slippery against his fingers. He shook his head. It was stupid to lug the file home. The real problem wasn’t in there. The hollow sensation in his stomach confirmed it was simpler than that. He was scared. Scared of finding proof of the corruption he suspected, and scared of the consequences if it ran as deep as he feared.

He tilted his head away from the driving rain and shrugged his collar higher over his ears. The city streets were almost deserted at this time of night, but London Bridge was close now. He’d find a cab at the rank there for sure. It was a lousy end to a lousy Monday and all he had to show for it was another missed opportunity to show his wife and kids he loved them enough to turn up occasionally before bedtime.

Sudden footsteps behind him drew closer, and the wind carried a whiff of aftershave. For some reason it reminded him of Moscow, and he wrinkled his nose in distaste. Then he thrust the distraction from his mind and lengthened his stride. Cabs might be scarce on a night like this, and he wasn’t about to let someone else get in ahead of him. The footsteps came still closer and he heard a faint metallic click. It meant nothing to him so he ignored it.

Neither his expensive education nor his years of business experience equipped Luke Graham to recognise the sound. It was the slide-mounted safety being pushed down to the ‘fire’ position on a Makarov nine millimetre semi-automatic pistol.

 

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HarperCollins Wrote

Conflicts of Interest is an intriguing tale that fits firmly in the thriller and mystery genres. After Luke Graham is murdered on his way home, colleague David Taylor must pick up the reins at work. This sudden crime occurs directly after Luke’s business trip to Russia, which raises a lot of unanswered questions for the reader. Meanwhile David must fly to Frankfurt from London for a business meeting with Joe Weiss, an ambitious American colleague. After attempting to resolve a conflict of interest, it’s clear that David has made a new enemy out of Joe.

The book’s strengths are the plot and the intrigue created. The opening line of the book is terrific and immediately leaves you wanting more, and there is a strong set-up with Luke’s death at the end of the first chapter. I liked the international scope of the book and that within the first five chapters we’d visited London, New York and Frankfurt. I also appreciated the grey area surrounding the consulting company, Blake and Moorefield, and Joe Weiss, and the activities that they may be involved in.

I felt that although the first chapter had a great opening, the rest of it could be tighter, simplified and faster paced. The last two paragraphs of the chapter are a great pay-off and well written but I wanted to get there sooner. I also felt more could be made of Luke’s time in Russia.

As a general note for the book I felt that there should be more exposition through dialogue and action rather than the characters’ thoughts to make this a more satisfying read. When David says thank you to Helen (‘For saving me from myself, I suppose. Reminding me actions, not words, are what count in the end’), it didn’t ring true in terms of his character at that stage of the story. Perhaps this is a discovery David needs to make later in the book. Additionally I felt Joe’s reaction at the Frankfurt meeting (‘Yes. I mean no. Well, not yet, maybe, technically. But they will, believe me. Unless we do what they want’) was over-played and not in keeping with how his character was introduced in New York.

I think the book has commercial potential. Conflicts of Interests has echoes of the plot and themes from some of John Le Carré’s and Jeffrey Archer’s books. However as a twenty-something reader I felt the storyline with a potential Russian threat could seem somewhat outdated. Conflicts of Interests would appeal to a predominantly male audience as the female characters in the work are secondary and not very interesting. This book would be suited to a commercial list featuring crime/thriller/mystery novels.

The success of mysteries and thrillers depend on twists and turns and a satisfying conclusion and of course this is yet to be revealed. The first chapters have set the story up and have made me want to read more, which is a good sign. I feel the book so far is strong, however it could be edited and re-written in parts to make this a tighter and more engaging story.

Jared wrote 919 days ago

The master returns. Flawless pitches, especially the final paragraph, wonderfully economical while conveying so much. The opening chapter has a brilliant hook at the end and from then onwards the reader is lost in the story. I've read all five chapters and want to read more. No niggles at all, no reservations and absolutely no presumptuous suggestions for improvement. I'd buy this book.
On my shelf - obviously.
Jared (Mummy's Boy).

Sly80 wrote 899 days ago

Fantastic opening line ... brilliant. The excellence continues throughout the first chapter, feeding us the story in a perfect diet of characterisation, atmosphere and fast-approaching menace. David, a man with intelligence and principles, but feeling a bit jaded after a night on the booze and nearly forty years ... no idea of what's about to hit him. On to Pete, and his energy is palpable ... it comes off the 'page' like a physical force ... another man with intelligence, but no principles here. I like Helen's practicality at David's emotional cowardice. Patricia is a different matter entirely - though his 'Women just didn't understand' attitude is likely to give him problems and may help account for the divorce. Chapter 5 ... stunning drama, I could visualise it playing out.

Bob, this is a big business thriller with the teeth of a Rottweiler. Professional, cinematic, dripping with expertise about the corporate world, and just page-turningly gripping. I read everything here, and I would buy this in a beat. It has to be published. You've already read mine, so you can be sure that the words and the shelving are fully deserved.

harveya wrote 844 days ago

You don't need my comments, Bob. You need a publisher to give you a healthy chunk of money and get this book (and the other one two) into the bookstores. This is fluid, professional writing, without the smallest pothole. Starting as you have (as you did with the other book) with a guy in some kind of trouble, we immediately want to know what's going to happen. Backed with enthusiasm. Harvey Ardman.

Mark Eyre wrote 833 days ago

Hi Bob. This is great writing and a great story. Your opening and closing lines in chapter 1 are superb, and I love the irony of David's presenting a session on business ethics as your introduction to him. I am fully engaged in your story, particularly given my background in consulting and business ethics! Backed without hesitation, and I hope you make it to the publishing table.
Mark (Stand up and live!)

Dadoo wrote 829 days ago

Wow. What a great read! Two things came to mind as I was reading your book.
First, the authentic voice, especially in the not so subtle manoeuvrings and manipulations during the confrontation in chapter six. It seems you are writing what you know, and you know it well.

Second, I love the method you used to introduce the theme of the novel in chapter two. I know that I'll be spending the rest of the novel trying to divine the internal and external conflicts of interest.

It's a far cry from the type of satire that I enjoy writing, but I have to say, your book is a treat. Thank you for sharing it.

Bob

ClaireLouise wrote 536 days ago

Great thriller Bob! I'm intending to recommend this to a few people I know will enjoy it. The pitch is excellent and the first paragraph had me immediately. Best of luck, Claire

eurodan49 wrote 672 days ago

Just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed your story. Russia holds a mythical interest of readers and a little more showing could go a long way. I think you’ve got a winner.
Good luck.


SusieGulick wrote 673 days ago

Dear Bob, This is your 2nd book that I'm backing - I backed your other book 48 days ago. :) I am so impressed that you have stars under your book covers - how did you ever find enough people to back your books? I can't find anymore - well, I did find up, but only 1 in 10 return backs that I back. I am top talent spotter & commenter, but still can't find anymore backers. Back to your books. Is Harpen Collins going to publish them? What now? Is my predicament hopeless? I love all of the intrigue in this story - you'd think your hero would have learned his lesson. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. Hope you'll back my 2 memoir books. :)

Sinead McNeill wrote 798 days ago

Great pitch and a great opening. Nice characterisation and well paced.
Good Luck
Sinead - Make Cake Not War

Diane60 wrote 804 days ago

Bob,
Nice fish hook am totally intrigued as to what happens next. So?
Have enjoyed the first 5 can't wait to read the complete book.

Diane

Diane60 wrote 804 days ago

Bob,
Nice fish hook am totally intrigued as to what happens next. So?
Have enjoyed the first 5 can't wait to read the complete book.

Diane

mazzadonna wrote 805 days ago

Sorry its taken so long - but I did enjoy what I have read so far - good luck with it.

Backed with pleasure.

Mazzadonna

Little Black Cloud in a Dress wrote 808 days ago

Great gear change: the dialogue is pithy and, in quite a few instances, laugh-out-old funny. Your characters really come alive, they're very solid, which is great news so early on.

latterday wrote 809 days ago

i liked the pitch very much and was engrossed in the opening chapter. It is the kind of work that gets you hooked. I LIKED THE COMBINASTION OF DIALOUGE AND THE WAY YOU SAY THINGS.
Well Done
Ray
Victoria's desperate mother

JoeTheAuthor wrote 809 days ago

A terrific pitch; great first line; compelling first chapter - a sure recipe for success! Backed with pleasure.

Joe Perrone Jr.
As The Twig Is Bent
Opening Day

seedee wrote 812 days ago

Congrats, Bob...well deserved. Cynthia Drew, Tabernacle

legray22 wrote 813 days ago

Enjoy the accolades - well deserved.

Rhiannon65 wrote 813 days ago

congratulations...what I've read I've really enjoyed. hope you can get it complete and published.

AVRAHAMANOUCHI wrote 813 days ago

Bob Steele

Congratulations.
I am delighted to assist you in reaching stardom and for being selected for a review by Harper Collins.
I hope to get your support

Avraham
The Hidden Scroll

olive-col wrote 813 days ago

Hi Bob, I enjoyed the read, backed it. Good luck Olive

GuardsMann81 wrote 813 days ago

Very descriptive, but still flows well. It will be interesting to see how he confronts his new assailant. Good hook for chapter 1.

Backed

Weston Kincade
An Invisible Dawn

Corinna Turner wrote 813 days ago

Great opening character. I've backed you. Good luck tonight.

kiwiwriter67 wrote 813 days ago

Hi Bob
This is not my usual genre but you had me hooked from the opening sentence which builds the tension through the rest of the chapter. Believable characters and crisp writing. I enjoyed it and would read more. Backed with pleasure. Good luck on the Ed's desk.
J

Merman wrote 813 days ago

A great opening chapter - I love the terse style - and how can anyone not go on to read Chapter 2 after that hook?!

Wild Iris wrote 813 days ago

Bob,
I've backed your book. When might you post more chapters? I was rereading chapter one and noticed Luke sent a package to David... I'd like to continue reading!

I hope you don't take some of the other comments to heart and simplify your descriptions. Good books have to transport you, not read off action like a grocery list. As you can tell (I have not written a book myself), I am merely here as an observer. Another book I have on my shelf is Karmic Relief, which has also received complaints that the first chapter doesn't capture the entire plot and fully describe the main character. I would love to hear your feedback on his writing style and descriptions.

Good luck on the editor's desk!
Iris

shartie wrote 813 days ago

Considering this is not really my type of book, you really got me hooked! You get the reader interested in the character from the very first sentence and then it's hard to put it down, you just want a litlle more.... and some more. This is good stuff Bob.
Backed.

StampMan wrote 814 days ago

Good stuff. Don't have time for proper comments right now - but backed. Comments to come later.

Pathinen wrote 814 days ago

Hi Bob, Will definitely back this up. But I don't know if I want to read it !!!! Frankly I am out of all this stuff !!!!!! Got to get my sleep so that I can pay full attention to this site !!!!!!! But I am sure that this will make a very thrilling movie indeed !!!

Pathinen wrote 814 days ago

Hi Bob, I personally prefer "Spin" !!!!

MDamsker wrote 814 days ago

SOlid detail and a sure grasp of his characters' worlds. Bob Steele can turn the professional life of a management consultant into an adventure story with an urgent sense of how global business is changing, and threatening, our comfortable preconceptions

Tim Roux wrote 814 days ago

Very smoothly written and well paced. It feels like a familiar chair to sink into and relax.

Tamara Milliken wrote 814 days ago

So descriptive. You place the reader right there with your character. Even though this is not the type of book I sit with on my Friday afternoons, the flow of your words kept me reading. Backed. Tam

Fellpony wrote 814 days ago

Nice pitch and a good opening line. I've just read Ch 1. You established the character, his work and and his physique well and sketched in the location, the wife and family.

Here and there I found your expositions a bit lengthy, and sometimes incidents that Luke recalled sat a tad uncomfortably when juxtaposed with present action (eg, the looking over the shoulder for a taxi // the remark about rocket science, which refers to forensic accounting, made me stumble in reading as I thought the "not rocket science" referred to the looking for a taxi. Which he then didn't find.)

He read, to me, older than I think he is meant to be. (Is he really fit enough to play rugby without a midweek training session?)

Closing hook is good in concept, but was too detailed for me to take in at one reading - I had to read it three times to pick up all the implications of the 5 adjectives: "slide-mounted safety being pushed down to the 'fire' position on a silenced Makarov nine millimetre semi-automatic pistol" could be covered by "the safety catch sliding to "fire" on a semi-automatic pistol" - after all you can give us the technical details later if they are important.

Generally - I'd tighten the prose where it doesn't advance the plot, but it rings true overall. Good luck with this!

Fellpony wrote 814 days ago

Nice pitch and a good opening line. I've just read Ch 1. You established the character, his work and and his physique well and sketched in the location, the wife and family.

Here and there I found your expositions a bit lengthy, and sometimes incidents that Luke recalled sat a tad uncomfortably when juxtaposed with present action (eg, the looking over the shoulder for a taxi // the remark about rocket science, which refers to forensic accounting, made me stumble in reading as I thought the "not rocket science" referred to the looking for a taxi. Which he then didn't find.)

He read, to me, older than I think he is meant to be. (Is he really fit enough to play rugby without a midweek training session?)

Closing hook is good in concept, but was too detailed for me to take in at one reading - I had to read it three times to pick up all the implications of the 5 adjectives: "slide-mounted safety being pushed down to the 'fire' position on a silenced Makarov nine millimetre semi-automatic pistol" could be covered by "the safety catch sliding to "fire" on a semi-automatic pistol" - after all you can give us the technical details later if they are important. Good luck with this!

Fellpony wrote 814 days ago

Nice pitch and a good opening line. I've just read Ch 1. You established the character, his work and and his physique well and sketched in the location, the wife and family.

Here and there I found your expositions a bit lengthy, and sometimes incidents that Luke recalled sat a tad uncomfortably when juxtaposed with present action (eg, the looking over the shoulder for a taxi // the remark about rocket science, which refers to forensic accounting, made me stumble in reading as I thought the "not rocket science" referred to the looking for a taxi. Which he then didn't find.)

He read, to me, older than I think he is meant to be. (Is he really fit enough to play rugby without a midweek training session?)

Closing hook is good in concept, but was too detailed for me to take in at one reading - I had to read it three times to pick up all the implications of the 5 adjectives: "slide-mounted safety being pushed down to the 'fire' position on a silenced Makarov nine millimetre semi-automatic pistol" could be covered by "the safety catch sliding to "fire" on a semi-automatic pistol" - after all you can give us the technical details later if they are important. Good luck with this!

Leslie Rocker wrote 815 days ago

Great piece of professional writing. I read the 5 chapters in one gulp and enjoyed them. My only reservation was that the trip to Frankfurt seemed a step to one side, but no doubt the significance is explained in later chapters. It does add anyway to the atmosphere of international business, which is presumably the intention..
I have no hesitation in backing it and thnk it ought to attact a publisher.
I would be interested to get your reaction to Adam's Apple, which is a horse of a different colour as they say.
Leslie Rocker

Tim Greaton wrote 815 days ago

Thanks so much for the read. Intelligent, well-written, and maybe just a tad slow to come out of the gate. However, there is never any doubt when a true writer is in the room. Nicely done. Shelved. Best always, Tim Greaton

Wild Iris wrote 815 days ago

Bob,
Great story. I enjoyed all five chapters. There are places where your writing really shines. For instance, I love the sentence, "Patricia had been 'resting between jobs'.....were a figment of her imagination." Other times, your descriptions fall a little short, like when you ended with a whimper: "not somebody to mess with." And a couple of times, you overstate the obvious: "Even if he had the talent for it, which he didn't." Just end the sentence after "it."

I think you could work on writing more subtly. Instead of saying he sat in business class, perhaps he could accept a complimentary glass of champagne, which would both underline his high status and his indifference to it. In the first chapter, Luke is consumed with fear. Yet "the only solution was to push on..." Do you mean that despite the risks, he is the sort of man who must adhere to his morals or convictions? Why not examine that? I would like to get to know him more deeply before he's killed. Instead of "it meant nothing to him" why not say how far he is from the dirty workings of the underworld.

Congratulations on keeping a suspense thriller classy. Good work.

mmefford wrote 815 days ago

I read the pitch and opening chapter. The pitch was very good, as was the opening chapter. The writing style is clean. The chapter itself built up slowly. I could feel Luke's stress as he moved through the chapter. The final hook was very nice. Backed.

blueboy wrote 815 days ago

ok, i've read the first two chapters. i will read more later, but my first impressions are that you could really use some polishing. you include many details that do not move your plot forwad and tend to bog the flow down unnecessarily. too many details that are are not intrinsic to the plot crowd prose writing, and this does seem like prose writing. edit out "left" whener it really oes not matter whch hand a character is using to do somethng. edit specifics like "the corner of" if it is not intrinsic to the plot and going to be important later which part of the towel he mopped his face with and so forth. you ill have a lmited word count with qwhover you get published by, so write economically so that you will have plenty of words to vivdly described the important scenes that move move your plot forward. the only other things i noticed is that you tend to narrate a good bit. remember to "show" what is happening at least as much as you "tell" what is happening. you have an interesting plot and conception of the book so i have no problem backing you. but , like i said, i do suggest suggest polishing for flow and voice. i hope this is helpful. goodluck with the editor's desk, i think you have good story here. take care

D.J.Smith wrote 815 days ago

Hi Bob
Thanks for your support and comments on 'Taylor' - will have a look at the opening lines of the chapters. Just read the first chapter of 'Conflicts of Interest'; I like the attention to detail that creates a very vivid setting and also conveys information about the main character. The plot opener is intriguing and despite there being no dialogue (and that I'm not really drawn to this genre), it promises immense things to come. So, I backed it. All the best.
D.J

Andromeda3600 wrote 815 days ago

Fantastic opening- I only read the first chapter, but you have me intrigued. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you in time- I've been very busy writing my alternative history novel.

Andromeda3600 wrote 815 days ago

Fantastic opening- I only read the first chapter, but you have me intrigued. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you in time- I've been very busy writing my alternative history novel.

The Z wrote 816 days ago

Good writing, gripping and fast. Unfortunately, the story line goes around in circles, not a very good character development. I guess it is necessary to read the rest to figure out what is happening but a good read nevertheless.

GAClark wrote 816 days ago

Not normally my genre, but the intricacy of the writing kept me reading. You actually got me to feeling the characters growing ulcer. Excellent look into the world of finance and big business. It is backed.

GA Clark
Show Low

Piers Peterson wrote 816 days ago

Excellent read, Bob. It opens up the world of finance in which the characters exist and draws the reader into the impending crisis firsthand. I hope the rest is as good as the beginning!
-Piers (Karmic Relief)

emywoo84 wrote 816 days ago

I was sure that i had backed this already, but was reading again and noticed there wasn't a comment from me here, so just incase i hadn't I'm backing again.

Love the premise, writing... everything. i can't wait to see it on the shelves!

E Saunders - Nightfall

J. A. Partridge wrote 817 days ago

You have a strong authentic voice that inspires confidence in the reader. Backed.

Poor Poets Wife wrote 817 days ago

You definitely have a talent for writing! Backed!!!

Kidd1 wrote 817 days ago

Hey Bob, I read the first three chapters and loved the tense atmosphere you created. It kept me enthralled. Wonderful pacing, edge of the seat ending in Chapter One that hooks the reader. Masterfully drawn characterizations. You know the world you are writing about, and your expertise shows. I am eager to read more, and will come back. You shall be shelved!

L_LaBella wrote 817 days ago

Bob - I only intended to read the first chapter, but you hooked me immediately with the suspense, tension and your outstanding writing. This is fantastic and worth its spot on the Editor's Desk. I backed the book and wish you all the best as it gets reviewed by HC.

Good Luck!

~Laura
Blood Moon

WendyB wrote 817 days ago

Now, this I can relate to.
I worked in the Management Consulting world on Bay Street in Toronto for years (Bay Street is the business centre of Canada, for anyone who cares) and you've captured the atmosphere beautifully.
I'm looking forward to giving this a good read and will be back to you with more significant comments when I have the time to do so. But I won't keep you waiting...I'm going to back it now.
I'm looking forward to the read.

Wendy Bertsch
(Once More...From the Beginning)

chuckylivesinme wrote 817 days ago

Not normally something i would read, but def a page turner and has me hooked. Backed with pleasure

Chuckylivesinme
Left Behind

Joe James wrote 817 days ago

Brilliantly written. your descriptions paint the picture very well, enticing the reader to turn the page. your knowledge of the economic, and corrupt system lends credence and legitimacy to your writing. backed with pleasure.

Joe James
The Chronicles of Nevaeh

Ditzydana wrote 818 days ago

Interesting read! Not normally my style, but good job!!