Bea Green and the Bee Queen

This is one of the finest and most marketable children's books on Authonomy. Fantastic writing, wonderful story, vital message. As a fellow children's writer, I take my hat off to you.x
Backed with joy
Carl
The Time hunters

Dear Emma,

What a delight to read! I finished it and enjoyed it all!

I have a granddaughter in the right age bracket for this and she is already interested in being green. Her school encourages this and this book would be a great aide to teaching a closer understanding of what we lose every time we pave over a forest or field.

It would be even greater if you illustrated your saucy Bea and Bee and their adventures in your book, and Bradley Wind's cover gives you a great choice for illustrator.

Such fabulous info on bees and their lives and hives. Another way to learn from this book, in a classroom or at home or home-school. Having been a teacher myself, I can see several different ways to use this book to educate as well as entertain this age group. A fine job!

You do a marvelous job of showing the idiosyncrasies and personalities, mainly through dialogue. This is excellent. And the more action you can squeeze in the better. I love the little bee flying alongside Bea when she's riding her bike or sitting on Bea's arm or hand.

Having Bea's mom and dad so diametrically opposed in philosophy and ideas fits well into seven-year-olds thoughts about the world; they don't really understand right and wrong, black and white at this stage. Nuances can be lost to them. More things to learn from this book.

I love Miss Bacon's lecture about Bad Parenting and the Youth of Today. Great stuff to talk with young readers about.

It's perfect when Bea says about Bee, "She could be very bossy for something no bigger than my little finger."

And when Bee says of her never seeing Bea again once Bee becomes Queen, "You'll always have a place in my hearts," and it turns out she has five of them -- it's just lovely.

The best part of this book, after all I've said, is that it is so much fun!!

I'm shelving it with great enthusiam!

Ancient Reader

Dear Emma,

Compelling, humorous, told with a lovely play of words, like a song.
Trendy mother obsessed with royalty, diametrically opposed to her husband ... You give your vegetables more attention than me.
Dad is greener than green. I guess he'll help Bea who made friend with the bee princess, Bessy, to safe the wood that's under threat. Hughely enjoyable.
A passionate and vital theme.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Emma, I'm SO glad you took the plunge. This is just delightful. It's so nice to find a book pitched at younger readers (not so many here, or maybe I just haven't found them). I lost count of the great lines and the ones that made me smile as there were just too many. You've got the voice just right - my son and his friends are always saying 'You big bully' in mock horror. Love the queen being the 52nd too.
This is flying straight onto my shelf and is backed with a loud buzz.
Jane
WALKER

Emma, this is really lovely. Not much on the site for this age-group, unfortunately, and your book is perfect for your anticipated audience. Your pitches work perfectly and I loved the opening chapter where we meet our heroine and her new friend, "Her Royal Highness, Princess Elizabeth the 52nd," as well as the dreadful next door neighbour, Miss Bacon.
I've read the whole book, loved the quiz at the end, although I failed to answer all the questions correctly. This has all the elements to succeed with children, a talking bee, green issues, Royal family obsessions, a great cast of characters and best of all, humour. This is both funny and charming, I loved it.
There are a fair few excess capital letters around, unless this was intentional I'd have a quick look for them, but no quibbles from me at all. Perfect pacing, great dialogue, I hope this does well.
On my shelf for a spell with best wishes
Jared.

Emma,
Read all 18 and even took the quiz!
Good story with loads of information and told in a very entertaining way for each reader (young and older).
There is enough humour for all concerned.
Enjoyed it very much.
:)
Diane

This is a lovely story, beautifully written. Just right for the age range, too.

Philip John

This is a fun story. Pleasingly visual. Crisp dialogue. Colorful characters. Captivating pacing. Clever wit. Well thought out, intriguing storyline. A highly enjoyable read. Backed.

This is perfect. I wish that this book had been around when I was a child; it would have been one of those books that I'd read over and over again until it was faded with age and falling apart.

'What are you doing sat there all on your own?' is the only line that didn't really make sense to me... did you mean 'What are you doing sitting there all on your own?" ?

Either way, definitely happy to back this. Feel free to return the read if you can.

~Jaz

Loved it, loved it, loved it. A very delightful read.

Dawn,
My Friends and Me

Very cute little story! I've only read the first chapter so far but it is very clever. I'll back it for now and hope to read more of it later!

Donna
(The Many Adventures of Syd and Sparkle)

What a delight to read this is much more than a childrens fantasy. It demonstrates love, caring friendship and that what we all do has an effect on others. I would buy this for my grandaughters now. i hope you get this published it so deserves it. Sue Mackender - Knowing Liam Riley

Dear Emma, I love your outline of the bees functions - I just to take Royal Jelly, whih the Queen bee eats, to boost my immune system for my lupus, to now avail - I'm still sick. Your reasearch is fantastic - God bless you for enlightening us. :) Thank you. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch, which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

Hi Emma - love the book. Have lots of children in my extended family (as you may guess) so this will be one for the Christmas book list when you get published. BACKED!
All the very best
Alice

I like this story. No better way to teach children than making it fun.

Hi Emma,

I loved this: it's a lot of fun and you can't go wrong with a talking bee :) It's a wonderful story to use as a starting point for discussion about the environment, as well as making a creature that many children are scared of into something approachable and friendly.

Well done!
Victoria Ridley
'Daisy Dragonfly.'

I think this is the best read I've had in weeks! I love this.

Lockjaw

Hello Emma. If you normally have trouble online, it will have worse lately as the site has been having trouble. That aside, this is a great children's story. It opened really well with lovely little bits of humor. (Its words stung ect) Bees are an endangered species now so stories like this are not only informative but would give the right message to children. I wish you all the best of luck with it!
mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

This is one of the finest and most marketable children's books on Authonomy. Fantastic writing, wonderful story, vital message. As a fellow children's writer, I take my hat off to you.x
Backed with joy
Carl
The Time hunters

I liked this story. So many schoolagers are irrationally afraid of bees, this is a good book for them to read to learn to think of bees in a more positive light. I think school librarians could easily find a place for this in their libraries not just for its defense of bees but because of your light hearted writing style. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Hi Emma -- Kids will love this -- one to read aloud at the end of the day (if they still do that these days). Delightful characters, which children will take to readily...or not (miss. Bacon). Good green fun. I'm afraid 'Bee Movie', removed my imagination when I pictured Bessie, but then a bee is a bee is a bee, I suppose. Although, Bessie is a bit special, isn't she? It was a popular film and yours will be a popular read for the 7+ age range.
Good luck and best wishes, Barry
(Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Beautifully written and with a message I strongly agree with, so backed with pleasure. Am going to try it on the kids at the weekend and will let you know what they think(age 7 and 9).

DJ-The Lost Cactus

This is so adorable and I can see this easily published - very well written, poignant and polished! Don't, by any means, give up on this because I beleive you've got something really special here! And so witty and intelligent so it doesn't insult middle grade readers! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

Backed January 16.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

Very cute. I'm sure my granddaughter, in a few years, would find this quite delightful. Best of luck.

A really sweet read.

Good luck with it.

Melxx
UNICORN

As welcome as honey on my toast. Bea is a delight. As is the bee.

This is a charming tale. I love bees and want to keep them on our planet. Whatever happens to the bees, humans will eventually follow.

As I read this, I was thinking about the competition that Act on C02 is having regarding "green" short stories. Check out Authonomy's blog under Act on C02--you might be able to send in an excerpt of this story.

Backed,
Janine
MY KIND OF CRAZY

Hi Emma, I have just finished reading your first chapter and I’m impressed! I will be backing this when I finish these comments. It looks like you are teaching children some common lessons of life, while teaching them about bees at the same time. And you do it all with a wonderful story! I have made a few comments but note that I am no expert. Although other authors have told me that I am pretty good at this. Let’s see what you think.
CHAPTER ONE: ‘A NAFEE LAP TICK SHOCK’ I think this is cute but I don’t think an 8-12 yr old will get it. ‘big bulging eyes’ This sounds a little too monster-like. How about changing ‘bulging’ to ‘big black jelly bean’ or, at any rate, something less scary. ‘Do you know it had five eyes?’ Change ‘had’ to ‘has’ to stay in tense. Great little scene when the bee lands on the neighbor. And good job of describing it, too….it would be tempting to go on and on here, but you haven’t and it is just perfect. I would delete “Don’t talk back.”, which sounds too harsh, but leave the rest of the neighbors dialogue. The dialogue sounds better without that, anyway. When she spells out her name, I think it should be done as “B-E-A” or “B…E…A” but the way you have it, it looks more like an abbreviation or the title of something, rather than a name. I would delete ‘Just royal attendants.’ for story tension. Your young readers’ hearts will go out to Bessie much more when they learn she has no friends and is, i.e., lonely.
Well, that’s it except I should caution you to be careful of the ‘-ly’ words such as ‘slowly’, ‘quickly’, and more. In almost every case (in adult fiction, anyway), a sentence becomes stronger and carries more story tension when these pesky adverbs are deleted. The exception would be dialogue, where I feel they are okay. Try deleting a couple, perhaps you might agree with me. I hope you can decipher my comments and I hope that some of them help. This is a special little story and with just a bit of editing, you should have no problem finding a home for it in the Children’s Literature genre. Good Job! Good Luck and I’m backing it right now…..

What a sweet read. It definitely is aimed at the right audience. I hope to read more, but I'm going to back based on this. I'll comment more later.

Hi Emma
This isn't the sort of book I would normally read at all: after all, I'm an ex-sailor, rugby-playing, beer-drinking ... But Bea Green and the Bee Queen is absolutely delightful. It's a lovely idea, beautifully told, the characters are lively, I've no idea how a Princess Bee normally speaks, and Miss Bacon gets her parsnips well and truly buttered - and serve her right too.

I'm putting this on my shelf for a bit.
Chris

This is terrific. I love both your pitch and your writing. This is a fun story and great way for kids to learn about the environment and about bees, which is actually critical right now as their populations are fading fast. I'm sure it will be published soon. And it deserves a great illustrator! I very enthusiastically shelve this.

This is absoultely wonderful. At first i thought - not another book encourage children to protect the environment - let the little brats destroy it - let us all die.

But after reading this, my heart melted a bit, and i began to wonder whether humans could learn something from this, and put the earth first over themselves.

A classic read for kids.

Backed all the way to the Ed's desk.

BACKED

This is a lovely idea for a book and so apt for our times.
You have a good way of imparting information as well as telling your story. I can see this being really popular with your target age-group. It has all the right ingredients - interesting characters, plot and dialogue.
Good luck with Bea and Bee!
On my shelf with pleasure.
Alison (Uneasy Rider)

Dear Emma,

What a delight to read! I finished it and enjoyed it all!

I have a granddaughter in the right age bracket for this and she is already interested in being green. Her school encourages this and this book would be a great aide to teaching a closer understanding of what we lose every time we pave over a forest or field.

It would be even greater if you illustrated your saucy Bea and Bee and their adventures in your book, and Bradley Wind's cover gives you a great choice for illustrator.

Such fabulous info on bees and their lives and hives. Another way to learn from this book, in a classroom or at home or home-school. Having been a teacher myself, I can see several different ways to use this book to educate as well as entertain this age group. A fine job!

You do a marvelous job of showing the idiosyncrasies and personalities, mainly through dialogue. This is excellent. And the more action you can squeeze in the better. I love the little bee flying alongside Bea when she's riding her bike or sitting on Bea's arm or hand.

Having Bea's mom and dad so diametrically opposed in philosophy and ideas fits well into seven-year-olds thoughts about the world; they don't really understand right and wrong, black and white at this stage. Nuances can be lost to them. More things to learn from this book.

I love Miss Bacon's lecture about Bad Parenting and the Youth of Today. Great stuff to talk with young readers about.

It's perfect when Bea says about Bee, "She could be very bossy for something no bigger than my little finger."

And when Bee says of her never seeing Bea again once Bee becomes Queen, "You'll always have a place in my hearts," and it turns out she has five of them -- it's just lovely.

The best part of this book, after all I've said, is that it is so much fun!!

I'm shelving it with great enthusiam!

Ancient Reader

Dear Emma, My grand doughter has good choice, I had a quick read to see what she was reading, you write very well and very discriptive, I can see why the kids will love it. I know it's only a kiddys book , but it has a very good chance to be published, and we were glad to back it.
Good luck
John Foxley Manor

It’s a very long time since I was twelve, though my sense of humour hasn’t advanced much, I fear. This is charming and made me smirk rather a lot.

Hi Emma
This is lovely, it will thrill your intended audience and made me smile - shelved.

I like all the different royalty mentions and the ways Bea's parents are having problems and aren't perfect. I think that will strike a chord with your readers and you've made it sufficiently absurd not to upset any parental readers.

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Hi Emma,

Cute story well told. Great for your target audience and a different way to introduce being green to your readers.

Good pace and the dialogue flows well. An enjoyable read :) On my shelf.

Cheers!
Collette
(The Soul Broker)

What a great idea! I can imagine this as a disney animation. Lovely writing and I love the name Bessie!
Backed
Sue
Theo the Immaculate

This is lovely, though I'm no expert on books for children - but I love the language - especially Bea's version of toxic shock syndrome. Hope it does well. Would be good to try it out on a few kids so you can judge whether you've pitched the language right for the target age group.
Good luck
Ali

Straight clear writing reminiscent of Blyton!
The bee factoids and the quiz are a real bonus to the book.
My only query - I doubt very much if 8-12 year old's are familiar with Diana Princess of Wales? Presumably this doesn't matter within the context of the tale but publisher's might take the view that it is dated.

I liked the beginning of this, the name indicated an interesting character for kids (although my childhood is many years behind me!). Oh, I laughed at the bit about her being called Bea after the princess … HER name initials are BEM … bug eyed monster in SF talk. * smile * Yes, I do like this and will read more, but for that great beginning it’s on my shelf, and all the best for it.
Aaargh at the end of the first chapter but I’m sure they can outwit Miss Bacon. And I do like the way you’re introducing facts along the way.
Love the use of Capital Letters for significant words. Emma, I’m just going to read; if I keep stopping to make comments I’ll never get done.
Oh, loved the tarantula bit!
Heh, Bea’s parents are SO different … and yet there’s a comfortable feeling between them, in spite of that.
Minor nitpick .. in Ch 4 it should be ‘on flying practice’ and not ‘practise’.
This is a delight … and not preachy in tone, either, like some stories for kids can be, when the writers are making a point.
Great story for kids.

This is wonderful. This is absolutely marvelous! These comments coming from an over-the-hill adult male.
Best of luck with it, you certainly deserve it! Backed. Jedward (Brünnhilde)

This is wonderful. This is absolutely marvelous! These comments coming from an over-the-hill adult male.
Best of luck with it, you certainly deserve it! Backed. Jedward (Brünnhilde)

BG - Owen @ 397

I love it. Shelved. Critique later if required.
Well done
Ann

Drew me in right away. Humourous voice. Quirky protagonist.
One thing you might want to consider is giving Bea a sidekick to play off of and a bit more of a troublesome backstory.
Nice job!

Drew me in right away. Humourous voice. Quirky protagonist.
One thing you might want to consider is giving Bea a sidekick to play off of and a bit more of a troublesome backstory.
Nice job!

Hi Emma.
This book is so lovely and cute and funny. Absolutely perfect for the age group that you have aimed it for. My step daughter would absolutely love this. Your characters are well defined and you have included a very topical point with the environment. Excellent.
Backed!
Sarah. T-cup and The Dream Team Fairies

(Bea)utiful...a real honey of a book. I suspect it's not only going to be children who will love this story. The characters jump out of the page (particularly the waspish Miss Bacon..I'm so glad she gets egg on her face. Perhaps she should get hives). There's stacks of good educational stuff presented with a light touch.. and it's all very funny. Personally, it's the puns I like a lot. Backed.

Hi, Emma. Well, I didn't read the pitch till after I'd read a few chapters so I didn't know what to expect. What a surprise. This is just sweet as it can be. Since I'm not familiar with the genre there's nothing really I can see, or recognize, to crit. I think, considering the subject, you've written it in a perfect voice. Anyway, all I can say is from what I imagine a young person to like, it looks 'right' to me. All the elements, a princess bee (haha), a mean Mrs. Bacon, parental strife. I think you've covered the requirements.
On my shelf and the best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

This is perfect for my little ones. I had my nine year old read this out loud and she thought it was great! She didn't want Bessie to be poisoned so I let her read on.
A refreshing story that made us both smile.
Good luck!

Backed by SD Gillen

Hi Emma. Your Bee book is hilarious. The writing in it is also top-notch. I think it is great that you already knew to target it for the children's audience, rather than young adult. However, I am sure that some young adult readers could love your book too, as could adults (particularly if they read it to their children). Will this become a series? I am sure there is the potential for it with your book. There could even be toys and merchandise opportunities!

I have one recommendation - and if it is not something you would like to do, I understand completely. I think it is important at least to mention to you though to maximize the potential for you and your story, and then you can decide for yourself. The names Prince Charles and Princess Diana, as well as their children William and Harry, are VERY specific. And the farther away you physically get from England, the less people will probably care about them (except for maybe Diana, but even she has long since passed away). Plus, how many children (especially internationally) would really know about the Royal family of England? So rather than referring specifically to Prince Charles (who is only England's current prince - he won't be anymore in the future) and Princess Diana (who is not England's current princess, and her name might actually bring sad memories to those who loved her so much), could you simply say "The Prince of England" and "The Princess of England", or "England's Prince / Princess", or even "The Prince / Princess"? Or, you could even make up names if you need to, such as Prince Zachary or something - I mean, it's your story, you can do whatever you want with it. In my opinion (and again, you need not follow it), I believe if you did 'not' refer to Charles and Diana (let alone their children) your book would become more timeless, rather than locking it into today's era. And at the least, for worse or for better, it won't be associated with the real-life English Royal family.

In any event, your book is excellent, Emma. I commend you highly for completing it, and I am certain you will have success with it! :-)

Sincerely,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

I like this little story about a very real child, Bea Green, and her relationship with Princess Bessie the Bee. You have set up a very convincing background for Bea, a father who makes her cycle everywhere, even to school, and a mother who never walks anywhere, even to the shops, because of her high heels. Excellent detail. The mother's complaint, that her husband loves his vegetables more than her, rings very true; and the father's reciprocal idea that his wife is selfish and spoilt seems fair enough, when she is planning to spent the limited family income on going to India, and in doing so, missing her daughter's birthday. Both parents have lessons to learn, which I hope they will have learned by the end of the book. Then there is the wicked ungreen Miss Bacon, whose poisonous spray nearly kills Bessie and temporarily spoils her antennae's ability to tell the direction. This book is amusing, with an interesting and unusual plot, full of believable characters, and it seems very suited to its target audience. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Very creative, very interesting and fun. I like the premise and the story and I like the writing. This deserves to be bumped up and I am backing.