Song of the Solomons- A Bad Situation Made Worse

Crazy stuff, but entertaining view of WW11 from Left-field. Good cast of characters could have come from Kelly's Heroes or MASH! Starred, regards, Mark

This is shaping up to be an excellent book! Vivid description, amusingly presented, and the kind of flippant humour that I enjoy. Your Japanese characters sound American...I mean their attitude, not dialect...but that may be intentional -- perhaps it's funnier that way! (I probably would have made that choice myself, if I'd written the book).

There are a number of grammatical and other diction errors, but a good edit will catch those.

However, in the first chapter:
"He was hanged...in April of 1945."
You can't stick this information in here. It hasn't happened yet, so it disrupts your time line. You can only validly insert it in a footnote.
The remaining information about Admiral Caneris is ok where it is. It was happening at the time of your action.

Good luck with this entertaining book.

Wendy Bertsch
(Once More...From The Beginning)

Dear E.Hunt, I love that you shared all that happened during the war - amazing the research you did. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

SONG OF THE SOLOMONS
This is a good story. I used to have an uncle who fought in the South Pacific and he always told stories about his experiences at family reunions. So reading this was like reviving old memories (altho his memories were tame compared to this). You’ve created both an exciting and interesting book here. I think you’ll find an audience for this among WWII veterans and their children (and that’s a lot of readers). I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Backed with pleasure! Joss Morris (A Bore No More)

Mr Augustus, I read Chapters One and Four. A most interesting read. Good work and good pacing. Nothing to nitpick in these two sections.

Shelved!

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Backed February 1.

Jesse - Savant

Hi,

I backed your book several days ago, and would be happy to leave you a detailed comment if you would have a look at mine and give me your honest opinion of it.
Good luck.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

Hi Bob-

Thanks for the compliments. I consider a laugh out loud as the true test of comedy. I thought it did have a comedy tag. I better check on that. If you don't have time to read it all I can recommend some of the better chapters for you or If you'd like to download a typeset PDF on the entire with photos go to: http://www.songofthesolomons.com/

I wish I could say I've had time to look at your offerings but now it's on my priority list. Thanks!

-Hunter

I loved the pitch for Song of the Solomons, and I can only applaud the amount of research that has evidently gone into creating a highly convincing background for your work. I thoroughly enjoyed your wry humour throughout - shouldn't this have a 'Comedy' genre tag? The noise of the sardine can ankle bracelets really cracked me up, and it is one of those embarrassing books you shouldn't read in public because you can do yourself an injury trying to suppress the laughing noises. This is well written atmospheric stuff and I wouldn't change a word. I'll be very pleased to back it.

I loved the pitch for Song of the Solomons, and I can only applaud the amount of research that has evidently gone into creating a highly convincing background for your work. I thoroughly enjoyed your wry humour throughout - shouldn't this have a 'Comedy' genre tag? The noise of the sardine can ankle bracelets really cracked me up, and it is one of those embarrassing books you shouldn't read in public because you can do yourself an injury trying to suppress the laughing noises. This is well written atmospheric stuff and I wouldn't change a word. I'll be very pleased to back it.

Hi Mad-

I'm back. How are you?

-H

Hi Hunter,

I am back to read some more of your book, trying to pick up where I left off last time but it looks like the chapters are re-arranged now? I see 28 is actually on autho's 28, lol. So I'll keep browsing around some more. Liked the dialogue in this chapter, btw.

Madison

NOTE TO ALL: I've been off the site for some time. I apologize to everyone who's been kind enough to leave me a message. I'll try to catch up.

NOTE TO ALL: I've been off the site for some time. I apologize to everyone who's been kind enough to leave me a message. I'll try to catch up.

Melxx-

The weather comment. Interesting. In this case it's important, they're flying, but I get the point--it makes sense if you think about it. Maybe I will move it. See above. Will try to check out your work.

Thanks! Nice tip,

-Hunter

An excellent tale well told. I have one gripe though, I read somewhere, not sure where that the number one pet hate for an agent is getting a MS through the post and the first line describes the weather, according to the agent they generally end up in the bin before being read.

All the best with it, hope my vote helps it storm up the charts.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

NOTE TO ALL: I've been off the site for some time. I apologize to everyone who's been kind enough to leave me a message. I'll try to catch up.

Melxx-

The weather comment. Interesting. In this case it's important, they're flying, but I get the point--it makes sense if you think about it. Maybe I will move it. See above. Will try to check out your work.

Thanks! Nice tip,

-Hunter

An excellent tale well told. I have one gripe though, I read somewhere, not sure where that the number one pet hate for an agent is getting a MS through the post and the first line describes the weather, according to the agent they generally end up in the bin before being read.

All the best with it, hope my vote helps it storm up the charts.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

I started reading at your chapter 58. I was able to pick up the thread, and what struck me was the use of Jesus, and Hell in the dialogue. Then I turned to chapter 59 and saw the Book of Revelations mention. The religious them (the two deaths, etc) is a rather interesting twist. It makes this work unique in my opinion. Your concluding chapters should be very satisfying to the reader - quiet dialogue and reflection that appears to answer, rather than ask more questions. Nice work.

NOTE TO ALL: I've been off the site for some time. I apologize to everyone who's been kind enough to leave me a message. I'll try to catch up.

Leigh-

You did what I hoped others would do, get past the intro stuff (I wanted everyone to get oriented and w/o the photos it loses a lot) and get into the meat of the book. If you like it I can recommend some other chapters for you. your comment about our collective boat is on target!

If you'd like to download a typeset PDF on the entire book with photos go to: http://www.songofthesolomons.com/
I'd be flattered if you did- even if you tossed it.

Thanks for the input. Let me get settled back in and I'll take a look at your offering. Thanks for your time!

-Hunter

Okay, straight up this is not my read. That said, why would I not read something for someone, we are all the the same boat (pardon the pun) on this website, all expecting others to read our offerings, add their tupence worth and hope they will like it enough to back it. So I had a little read of your book and like what I've read. I'll own up. I only read 2 chapters, kinda like looking under the bonnet of my car, alot of the technical stuff baffles me. I skipped onto chapter 10 for the picks then remember ah crap! Authonomy doesn't do pictures (mores the pitty). I'll tell you this though, you write very well and do you know what? You are one funny guy, your intro had me laughing, you have a very dry wit that I find appealing and and encouraged me on, so I commend you.
I have this backed and wish you well with it.
Have yourself a good one and an excellent New Year.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

An exciting and amusing book with some well drawn characters. The pitch promises plenty of action, excitement and humour, and you plunge us straight in with your first chapter. You write well, with no noticeable mistakes, and your dialogue is natural sounding and appropriate to the period of your story. You obviously know a lot about both the time and the setting, and you are able to describe it skillfully, so that we feel as if we are there. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

An excellent tale well told. I have one gripe though, I read somewhere, not sure where that the number one pet hate for an agent is getting a MS through the post and the first line describes the weather, according to the agent they generally end up in the bin before being read.

All the best with it, hope my vote helps it storm up the charts.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Okay, straight up this is not my read. That said, why would I not read something for someone, we are all the the same boat (pardon the pun) on this website, all expecting others to read our offerings, add their tupence worth and hope they will like it enough to back it. So I had a little read of your book and like what I've read. I'll own up. I only read 2 chapters, kinda like looking under the bonnet of my car, alot of the technical stuff baffles me. I skipped onto chapter 10 for the picks then remember ah crap! Authonomy doesn't do pictures (mores the pitty). I'll tell you this though, you write very well and do you know what? You are one funny guy, your intro had me laughing, you have a very dry wit that I find appealing and and encouraged me on, so I commend you.
I have this backed and wish you well with it.
Have yourself a good one and an excellent New Year.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

Hi Hunter,

I am back to read some more of your book, trying to pick up where I left off last time but it looks like the chapters are re-arranged now? I see 28 is actually on autho's 28, lol. So I'll keep browsing around some more. Liked the dialogue in this chapter, btw.

Madison

Hi E., I don't usually read war stories however this caught me with the setting, the sea planes, and in the first chapter, the guy whose name was the same as the German intelligence officer. I wasn't even aware that sea planes were used much in WWII! They seem risky and it was interesting how a sea plane could distract the enemy. And then, Ian's POW Japanese and his relationship with them aroused my interest again. It's well-written and clear to someone like me. I wish there had been more dialogue and scene in the first chapters. That background work to the action in Chapter 4 made the action story intense and comprehensible. Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi John-

I really appreciate your backing. I would like to take a look at your work but I'm trying to take a little different approach rather than just taking a look at chapters one and two. Could you give me 3-4 widely spaced chapters from your book that you think really represent where you are as a writer. As you've requested, I'll start with SHADDOWDON. You've made impressive progress here on the site. Congratulations and again thanks for backing. Look forward to hearing from you.

-Hunter

Liked this, A tale told well - shelved

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Liked this, A tale told well - shelved

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

World War Two adventure stories continue to enjoy good ratings, and we never seem to tire of them, and yours is a compelling contribution to the genre. Your writing is rich, with detailed observations and accute analyses which lend an air of authenticity. You have clearly planned the story well, and it unfolds with growing pace and tension. The dialogue sections are particlarly strong and vibrant. I think this book will be very sucessful, and it has my backing. Best wishes, Tony.

Have read the first two chapters, along with your wee blurb (which I found funny about the forward and such) and I must say you are a gifted writer. Your narrative is clean concise and direct. This is not my sort of book, so to comment on the plot would be out of my field, though I do appreciate the detail you have filtered into your story.
There isn't a whole lot of dialogue thus far, which I think is common for this type of a book.
What I have read is good stuff, you really know how to write.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Chapter 25 is interesting. A man who has the gusto to cut off his own testicles because of an infected splinter must be something else! I can only imagine what kind of misery he must have been suffering to be prompted to take that drastic measure.

At the point where they find the rations and cigarettes, last paragraph before Komatsu was scanning the ridges. It seems quite a mouthful for someone to say without a break. Also, it’s not clear who is doing the talking for the previous few lines, including this really long one. I’m assuming it’s Komatsu doing all the talking here.

I'm going on to the next chapter, just wanted to leave these comments before I move on. I could see this in film, actually.

Madison Woods - Retribution

Ah, not remotely a WWII geek, I fear so the vast majority of this is going over my head.... my husband however would absolutely love it.. I shall try to lure him back onto Authonomy to take a look...
However I CAN say that your writing is crisp and clear; dialogue is good; characters feel real and the pace zips along. Nothing snagged at me so I fear I don't have any helpful meaningful crit to offer.
I can however offer you my backing, with great pleasure
Jane
WALKER

btw, best to reply to people on their message feeds, rather than here on your comments.... j

Song of the Solomons - Hi Sheila,
Thank you for taking the time to read a bit of my book. I appreciate your comments about my writing style; coming from someone of your literary accomplishments, makes it especially meaningful. Nothing is more rewarding than to have someone who has no interest in WWII books tell me that she/he found my book enjoyable. I happen to be a WWII history geek, but in my writing I seek simply to entertain, and I am heartened to find out that a desolate island in the South Pacific during WWII works as well as any other setting for the purpose of entertaining.
I also appreciate your insights about the way I have structured my first chapter. You are not alone in suggesting that I ought to heave the nitty-gritty about seaplanes, destroyers, coastwatchers, and other WWII stuff—or at least save it for later chapters. The dreadful hanger-on who calls himself my editor is with you on this subject, but I am loath to resort to the “James Bond/Indiana Jones/every other action-adventure” story formula of opening by going for the reader’s jugular. (Yes, I know, they made millions, and I’m sitting in a plastic chair clipping coupons, but hey, I never said I wasn’t stubborn).
I started on your book, found it striking, backed it, and never left any comments. I will do so.

Cheers,
Hunter


Dear Hunter,

The longer I'm on this site, the more intrigued I am when I find a book which, contrary to all expectations because it is not a genre I would normally read, I enjoy. And this is one of them. Although I have to say that if my husband had seen this in a bookshop he wouldn't have needed a nudge: he'd have leapt at it.

First let me say that you don't need all that preamble at the beginning. You yourself said you don't read prologues etc, so you really don't need to explain this to us. Just get in there and give it to us straight.

Right from the first line I knew that here was a writer who could write. I must stop for a moment and say that I don't think the title does justice to the novel. With your literary talent you must be able to dream up a single punchy word to replace: "A bad situation made worse." Working title? OK.

You have all the action in Chapter One to make this a thriller that will grab readers of the genre, but at the moment I think there's a bit too much "telling" too soon. You need a solid dose of action and excitement and questions to compel the reader to read on. Perhaps you could condense this telling, (which shows how well you know your subject), or slide it in a bit later, after you've given us that obligatory slice of pure action. By the way, in your pitch you say the hapless girlfriends are tossed in for good measure - surely they have a role to play?

Your prose flows smoothly and your command of the language is assured and perfectly crafted for this genre.
I love it when I feel the syntax is part of the writer's natural rhythm.

I wish you all the luck with this work.

Backed with pleasure.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Madison-

Glad you found the right chapter. Now I'm hoping you'll get to the 2nd part which does give you much more dialogue between Penny and Mike and picks back up where this chapter left off. That would be Chapter 27 but is found when you click 28. The relationship between Mike and Penny moves to a much deeper level.

Re: Retribution I am preparing an overall impression of the first 13 chapters. (I do think I'll be reading more) but it's time I give you some feedback on your fascinating story. I'll send that to you sometime tomorrow.

As always, thanks for your comments.

-Hunter

Okay, now I've read chapter 24 which is on chapter 25's number. I didn't understand what you meant earlier. This was interesting because it gives me the male point of view, something I don't see much of in any of the books I've read before. In this chapter you've done a good job of setting the reader up to expect more in the next chapter. The only suggestion I have on it is to do more showing. You really shine when you write dialogue. Let the characters do a little more of the story telling, if you can.

This is well written, captivating at times, and will impress those who enjoy this sort of thing. Not me, i am afraid. But i do recognize a good style when i see one, and you hit your target market wonderfully.

I wish you all the best with it.

BACKED

Okay, now I've read chapter 24 which is on chapter 25's number. I didn't understand what you meant earlier. This was interesting because it gives me the male point of view, something I don't see much of in any of the books I've read before. In this chapter you've done a good job of setting the reader up to expect more in the next chapter. The only suggestion I have on it is to do more showing. You really shine when you write dialogue. Let the characters do a little more of the story telling, if you can.

Hi Hunter, I am slowly making my way through the chapters you recommended - slowly because I am at work right now, not because of your writing. Your writing is fine and replete with splendid imagery. I'm making notes as I go, and here are the few from chapter 24:

First para, second sentence is beautiful, but the imagery gets lost in the long haul. Maybe try breaking it into two:

“Towering cumulus clouds herded on the ridges of Malaita’s mountains to the east. The moon, two days short of full, rose unenthusiastically, failing its promise of a well-lit night.” I took out {rode} because it didn’t make sense to me.

Paragraph 9, “The thunderstorms grew,…” I would use singular thunderstorm and “The storm’s only…” I wouldn’t use possesive.

Otherwise, another read that held my attention and interest.

Madison Woods - Retribution

Song of the Solomons -

Dear Hunter,

The longer I'm on this site, the more intrigued I am when I find a book which, contrary to all expectations because it is not a genre I would normally read, I enjoy. And this is one of them. Although I have to say that if my husband had seen this in a bookshop he wouldn't have needed a nudge: he'd have leapt at it.

First let me say that you don't need all that preamble at the beginning. You yourself said you don't read prologues etc, so you really don't need to explain this to us. Just get in there and give it to us straight.

Right from the first line I knew that here was a writer who could write. I must stop for a moment and say that I don't think the title does justice to the novel. With your literary talent you must be able to dream up a single punchy word to replace: "A bad situation made worse." Working title? OK.

You have all the action in Chapter One to make this a thriller that will grab readers of the genre, but at the moment I think there's a bit too much "telling" too soon. You need a solid dose of action and excitement and questions to compel the reader to read on. Perhaps you could condense this telling, (which shows how well you know your subject), or slide it in a bit later, after you've given us that obligatory slice of pure action. By the way, in your pitch you say the hapless girlfriends are tossed in for good measure - surely they have a role to play?

Your prose flows smoothly and your command of the language is assured and perfectly crafted for this genre.
I love it when I feel the syntax is part of the writer's natural rhythm.

I wish you all the luck with this work.

Backed with pleasure.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Hi Madison-

I just noticed that you had sampled my book. Did you just pick 33 by random? The book is not really about war so much as about human frailties and a bunch of wacky characters who keep screwing things up. If you'd like to read a little bit more, I can suggest some chapters that will give you a bit more of the flavor of the book.

By the way, regarding my comment on your Chapter 13, I'm not sure you took it the right way. It was just facetious and I found the chapter as intriguing and imaginative as the rest of your writing. I also have a couple of chapters with some erotic action in my own book if you'd like to try out my attempt at that kind of writing. Chapters 24 and 27 (which require that you actually click chapter 25 and 28) deal with an evolving relationship between two of the characters. I'd love to hear your comments on those if you have time to read them.

At any rate, thanks for taking the time to give it a read and I'd be honored if you check out a little bit more, and, you know, if you have another open spot on your bookshelf...

Since I'm trying to get a flavor for some other people's writing I'm not sure if I will have time to read your entire book, that being said, I do want to read some more. Can you recommend a few more chapters that stand out?

One more thing, I've been to your website and I don't find your bio anywhere, It would be nice to know a little bit more about you— who's in possession of the amazing imagination reflected in your writing. Is there something somewhere to find out? If it's something that you don't like to put out there for general consumption, perhaps you could just e-mail me. (hunter@rsmas.miami.edu)

Thanks for your consideration.

-Hunter


Hi Hunter,

War history is definitely not my genre, and usually I don't even like to read anything to do with it. However, I found your chapter 33 interesting and entertaining, so I was pleasantly surprised! Not that I can offer any comment on accuracy of your details, I did take some notes about writerly stuff you might want to know.

Chapter 33
First sentence – “…tried to wake him up.” I would drop ‘up’.

When Saburo is trying to wake the captain by pouring water in his ear – “Now, he came off the bed like a rocket—…” I would drop Now and begin the sentence with ‘He’.

Down to where the torpedoes are launched onto the beach – “The warhead, like so many of the U.S. Navy’s torpedoes early in the war, was a dud.” This seems like a fact that wouldn’t be known to the narrator at this point unless there had been communication among the fleets. It seems to be out of place to be mentioned as a historical fact when the story is being narrated at the time of events unfolding, not as an account looking back on it.

Anyway, I think I owed you a read - long overdue in fact. I was reminded when you commented earlier and I remembered that I hadn't done it yet! Your book is probably very popular among the guys who know more about the wars. Overall, I thought it well written.

Madison Woods - Retribution

Hi Hunter,

War history is definitely not my genre, and usually I don't even like to read anything to do with it. However, I found your chapter 33 interesting and entertaining, so I was pleasantly surprised! Not that I can offer any comment on accuracy of your details, I did take some notes about writerly stuff you might want to know.

Chapter 33
First sentence – “…tried to wake him up.” I would drop ‘up’.

When Saburo is trying to wake the captain by pouring water in his ear – “Now, he came off the bed like a rocket—…” I would drop Now and begin the sentence with ‘He’.

Down to where the torpedoes are launched onto the beach – “The warhead, like so many of the U.S. Navy’s torpedoes early in the war, was a dud.” This seems like a fact that wouldn’t be known to the narrator at this point unless there had been communication among the fleets. It seems to be out of place to be mentioned as a historical fact when the story is being narrated at the time of events unfolding, not as an account looking back on it.

Anyway, I think I owed you a read - long overdue in fact. I was reminded when you commented earlier and I remembered that I hadn't done it yet! Your book is probably very popular among the guys who know more about the wars. Overall, I thought it well written.

Madison Woods - Retribution

Hi J-

Thanks for your comments, particularly my so-called introduction. There are actually three distinct storylines in the book so I'm not sure that it would make for an appropriate introduction.

Regarding your suggestion about starting at 500 feet -- the problem with doing that is that the pencil issue keeps reoccurring later in the book and so it's necessary to describe the way he wakes up his copilot. If you want to see how that continues take a look at chapter 4 which is really noted in the list as chapter 5 and you'll see how I use it.

Your comment about its relation to Catch-22 is important in the sense that I've tried to learn from his clever dialogue but Catch-22 as a perturbed only dark underside that it only becomes apparent in the last third of the book. My book doesn't have a dark underside it's supposed to be just entertaining.

Thanks a lot for your comments and I hope you take the time to read a little bit more. If you'd like to just sample a few chapters to get the flavor of the rest of the book let me know and I'll pick some out for you.

All the best to you and your book, which I'll take a look at after I send this.

-- Hunter

Hello there, Mr. Augustus...

Now, you say you hate it when you pick up a book and find a prologue or whatsuch nonsense, but dare I say the first fifteen hundred or so words of your novel are prologue in disguise! Much too dense with numbers and stolid detail for my taste. I say, MY taste, so take that for what it is. In any case, might I suggest that you start with Marshall dropping the plane down to 500 feet? Because after that the narrative is decidedly more engaging. In fact, I love WWII stuff. The most interesting period in human history in my opinion. But there's a difference between novel and nonfiction. From your summary it appears you're attempting a Catch-22 for the Pacific Theatre. If that's true, I hope you deign to keep the narrative focused on the human/action/comedy element and leave the facts and footnotes for the historians. Just my two cents.

All the best

Cheers

John

lawdog-

Thank you for your useful comments. I can tell you read it because you caught the oversupply of " hads" and "that's". I tried to get rid of a lot of those and I think my editor kept putting them back in.

At any rate, it really didn't occur to me that it was obvious there was a lot of research done, although it was simply an artifact of having read so many books and not necessarily intentional, but in order to tell the story it's necessary to place a lot of these things in perspective considering they happened 65 years ago in a place halfway around the world.

At any rate, as the book continues the research gets less than the humor gets more. If you're interested in reading ay more without having to go through the whole book, let me know and I'll pick out a few example chapters for you.

Again thanks for your thoughtful critique.

-- Hunter


QUOTE] I read ch 1,2,13, and 14.

This is a good prescription: humor, vast research, authoral confidence, and conflict. Ch 13 and 14 really spun things up for me.

A danger in doing so much obvious research is the fact the author is very proud of it and wants to show it off. And rightly so. Show it all off with as much flair as you can. The danger is presenting it in a manner approaching the dreaded 'info dump.' There's some information in there that could probably make a pretty good scene. I see hints of great dialogue here and there, so I think you could pull it off and still get the story told you would like to.

A little trimming is in order, getting rid of unnecessary 'thats' and 'hads,' too.

All in all, this is a great story. I enjoyed what I read.

I read ch 1,2,13, and 14.

This is a good prescription: humor, vast research, authoral confidence, and conflict. Ch 13 and 14 really spun things up for me.

A danger in doing so much obvious research is the fact the author is very proud of it and wants to show it off. And rightly so. Show it all off with as much flair as you can. The danger is presenting it in a manner approaching the dreaded 'info dump.' There's some information in there that could probably make a pretty good scene. I see hints of great dialogue here and there, so I think you could pull it off and still get the story told you would like to.

A little trimming is in order, getting rid of unnecessary 'thats' and 'hads,' too.

All in all, this is a great story. I enjoyed what I read.

You know, it was only a few days ago I was talking to a North Sea rescue worker about writing a book on the perils and adventures of boating. Well, what a coincidence…
The first thing that strikes me about this is the excellent voice. This is very clear and accessible prose and we are plonked right into the story. Nicely done!
There is also a very authentic feel to this tale. It is like you have been there and that helps the reader step in too. Same for the characters. They feel real.
You finish the opening chapter highlighting the danger in this kind of work and this is quite a hook to keep the reader turning the proverbial page.
I wish you the very best of luck with this!
Shelved with pleasure
David
Green Ore

Hello there, Mr. Augustus...

Now, you say you hate it when you pick up a book and find a prologue or whatsuch nonsense, but dare I say the first fifteen hundred or so words of your novel are prologue in disguise! Much too dense with numbers and stolid detail for my taste. I say, MY taste, so take that for what it is. In any case, might I suggest that you start with Marshall dropping the plane down to 500 feet? Because after that the narrative is decidedly more engaging. In fact, I love WWII stuff. The most interesting period in human history in my opinion. But there's a difference between novel and nonfiction. From your summary it appears you're attempting a Catch-22 for the Pacific Theatre. If that's true, I hope you deign to keep the narrative focused on the human/action/comedy element and leave the facts and footnotes for the historians. Just my two cents.

All the best

Cheers

John

Thank you for backing my friend J Hamler. I am watch listing yours for backing.

TSC
Moonbeam Hhighway

Not particularly fond of War stories. My first memories are of the world at war and they still brings up the feeling of fear I had with both my father and brother serving in WWII.

Nevertheless, I admire the research you have had to do for this book and I think your writing is exceptionally good. Your very first paragraph is stunning. So It's had a place on my shelf and I hope you do well with it.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

E Hunt

Doctor keeps you percolating.....ha ha ......I'd back you for that phrase, never mind your book........Am going to use that in my novel......

I'm not a war monger......to be honest I find it coma inducing.....My father used to force us kids to watch to World at War on a Sunday afternoon, to be honest we'd have preferred the Antique Road Show, my sister had a very valid point for not watching anything to do with the war.....'We all know the ending' she'd insist...

That said, I can appreciate a fabulous tome, that's been expertly written, researched and presented.....I read your loaded chapters one

.....I dont know what a 'zero' is.....

'Thank you very much, you inbeciles' Marshall cackled...... (wrong adjective, a cackling Marshall doesn't sound
right to me)

as if everthing had gone 'just' as planned.............you dont need to say 'just'.....Do a word search on 'just' there might be others, the word 'just'' and 'seemed' often soften the impact of the statement you're making..

I dare you to read mine......After all I've probably been really helpful here.

Shelved.

Ravingja – now where did that name come from? The devil is in the details, and you’ve certainly done your homework on this one. A bunch of guys in the middle of one of the most god-awful messes of the last century – maybe any century, and they still kept that dark humour going, and it is dark if anyone reads the subtext, just like M.A.S.H. I knew men from that time, though they were a bit west in Malaya and Burma, but the attitude with a capita’ ‘A’. At times it’s almost like the Three Stooges meet The Marx Brothers – and then it comes back down to earth with a bang.

Backed. Nicholas Thanks for backing mine.

Hi Hunter,

Have you ever seen or read the Australian play, EMERALD CITY? In it, an Australian screenwriter is longing to write his pet project, a history of the coast watchers during World War II, but everyone involved - his wife, agent, friends, producer - continue to insist that the coast watchers is a boring topic. Your book proved them wrong!

I greatly enjoyed SONG OF THE SOLOMONS, and hope it will receive the support it deserves. I'm happy to back it, and wish you much luck with it.

If you have the time, I'd appreciate if you could take a look at my comic novel, A TASTE OF VOODOO, and I would appreciate your comments.

Best wishes,
Douglas Braverman

Great to hear from you, GruntledGuy:
I'm glad you enjoyed the book. You must have a lot of free time on your hands to have read it so quickly. At any rate, I appreciate the enthusiasm for my book and I hope other will share your view of it. I have tried to make the book funny, easy to read, and even a bit informative. I have done a lot of reading on the Pacific theater war, and I'm pleased that it shows. It's funny that you mention reading it on an airplane, because my goal is exactly to have it get snapped up by air travelers across the world who are looking for something to entertain themselves with during a long flight.
Anyway, thanks for the great comments and the backing. There's a lot of great competition here, I hope you will enjoy some more free reads.
-Hunter.

Hey Ravingja,
I stumbled upon this Authonomy web site and decided to see if there was anything worth reading here. I signed up and began poking around. I'm not sure how I found your book, and I don't know anything about WWII, but I liked the look of your cover, so I decided to give it a read. Let me describe it in one word: Fantastic! I am having a blast reading it. It's the kind of book one would love to read during a long flight or a long weekend at the beach. I love the humor: chapter 4 (meat rivets and shooting pencils), chapter 18 (General Grassley), chapter 50 (Razarus), and chapter 57 (Tojo); all of them are real side-splitters. You seem to really know your stuff and you have a real knack for pace, dialog, and action. Your battle and action scenes are some of the best I have read because you have a way of covering those episodes in a way that feels complete and authentic, so one is surprised that you can do so with such economy.
Oh, I just remembered, the pyromaniacs on the Vulcan and Goto, Matzuza and their crews are especially colorful characters.
I will say this, you have an awful lot of characters, it's a bit difficult to keep them all straight, especially the Japanese ones. You might consider listing them somehow when this tome gets published, which I'm sure it will.
I immediately became very fond of Colonel Sato and want to know more about him. I take it that this is the second book and that Sato figures prominently in the first book. Where can I find book one?
Anyway, all this to say that I very much enjoyed your book and I wish you much success. I'm nailing this one to my shelf!

GruntledGuy

Hey Ravingja,
I stumbled upon this Authonomy web site and decided to see if there was anything worth reading here. I signed up and began poking around. I'm not sure how I found your book, and I don't know anything about WWII, but I liked the look of your cover, so I decided to give it a read. Let me describe it in one word: Fantastic! I am having a blast reading it. It's the kind of book one would love to read during a long flight or a long weekend at the beach. I love the humor: chapter 4 (meat rivets and shooting pencils), chapter 18 (General Grassley), chapter 50 (Razarus), and chapter 57 (Tojo); all of them are real side-splitters. You seem to really know your stuff and you have a real knack for pace, dialog, and action. Your battle and action scenes are some of the best I have read because you have a way of covering those episodes in a way that feels complete and authentic, so one is surprised that you can do so with such economy.
Oh, I just remembered, the pyromaniacs on the Vulcan and Goto, Matzuza and their crews are especially colorful characters.
I will say this, you have an awful lot of characters, it's a bit difficult to keep them all straight, especially the Japanese ones. You might consider listing them somehow when this tome gets published, which I'm sure it will.
I immediately became very fond of Colonel Sato and want to know more about him. I take it that this is the second book and that Sato figures prominently in the first book. Where can I find book one?
Anyway, all this to say that I very much enjoyed your book and I wish you much success. I'm nailing this one to my shelf!

GruntledGuy

Hi E!

Clearly you've done a great deal of reseach to prepare for this. It is well written and very enjoyable. Backed!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Thix is good stuff. I am going to put it on my shelf and read more, then will get back to you with comments.
Your research is incredible, as is your attention to detail.

Well written action. Nothing I could see to complain about. I sunk into the story quickly and enjoyed the detail you employ so well into it. Good luck with it,

Andrew