GHOST WARRIOR

Moves quickly and keeps me interested; love the language. Will have to return later to finish! Very nice!

I like your open easy style. Very fast, allows me to follow the story like a video playing in my head. When I buy the book and read the whole thing, I will remember it like a movie. However, I got bored climbing the clift, and confused about what was going on, why didn't the spider people, who are fast climbers, agile, go up and see what was going on and then report back so the person, who was having such a difficult time climbing, would have a clue before he expended all that effort and risk? Or did I read it wrong?

Congrats on your achievement. Just had to say . If you get the time to read some of my work and comment I would be so happy
Denise
The Letter

wattttttttta grrrreat!! boooooooooooooooooooooook :D

Backed |:)

Hi Alan, Finished, I really like the book, very intriguing, great cover and your at the top very good. I wish you well. Harold Alvin (ICON)Wesley I back the book.

Hi Alan, I'm sorry for being so late getting back to you but I've been out of the Country and just return home. Thank you for supporting (ICON) I have your book on my watchlist and will commetn when I finish reading it. Thank you for your backing. Harold Alvin, Wesley

I see why this has a gold star!

Backed for sure!

Congradulations, your story is full of imagination and I look forward to reading your final edit.
E. Loraine
Royal Blood Chronicles, book one

Congratulations on making the editor's desk!!!

Congratulations on having your novel selected to be read by HarperCollins. I wish you the best in success.

Cheryl Kaye Tardif,
author of Children of the Fog and Lancelot's Lady

A fast-moving fantasy with some unusual elements in the body-swapping and the various clans. A couple of points to consider in the opening: while the ghost flowers are a nice bit of world-building, having Hron stop to meditate on them when he's racing to save the women being thrown off the cliff throws the pacing off. Also, wrath is a noun, not a verb.

Alan


Congratulations.
I am proud that I was among the authors who acted to elevate your book to stardom.
Maybe you could help my book.

Avraham Anouchi
The Hidden Scroll

Congratulations, Alan! I'm so excited for you. I hope things go well.
~Linnette

Dear Alan, Congrats on your Harper Collins' election of Ghost Warriors. :) love fantasy & fiction. :) Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm BACKING/COMMENTING on your book to help advance it. :) Would please return the favor by taking a moment to BACK/COMMENT on my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

Congratulations! You did it! What a thrill...

a very novel novel . scary thought- inhabiting a female . i like new ground . backed....Greg Ryan

Ghost Warrior by Alan Marling has a compelling tag and enticing prologue.

Until the second paragraph.

I was interested enough to continue reading and found the language rare and epic.

The action drew me into the first few chapters despite getting somewhat lost in the names and features. While I'm not an enourmous fan of the genre I appreciate the imagery and flavor Marling brings through the story.

Unfortunately the rarity gets me too lost after several chapters and is enough to make me lose interest.

I'm adding Marling to my watch list because he clearly has the gift of story telling and an epic imagination. His consistency in writting and interesting turns of phrase make me believe this guy will produce publishable work.

Alan writing like this deserves recognition and i hope that this will bring you fruits of your labour. A pleasure to read and a pleasure to back! Best wishes for tommorrow! Nikki

Alan - this is lovely. Graphic and kind to your characters, creating a whole world of challenges along with values hopes, dreams and fears. I did not find any typos, I did find something I would happily buy. I hope the editor loves it!

A believable world steeped in strong imagery. everything has a mystical air about it, helped by the talk of cliff spiders, master of runes and ghost flowers. It's as normal to these characters as tea and biscuits to us.I could see it all play in my head. Very good.

Hey Alan

Just read the first chapter. This cliffhanger opening is a tense and involving introduction to the world you've created here. You introduce a lot through action, and I think you have done a great job because it seems easy for the reader to imagine this world of dizzy mountain and sky trough valley. I backed it, good luck with staying at the top of the cliff that is the ed's desk... ;)

Luk 7

Dear shade105,

A "raw" voice was just the flavor I aimed for. To be precise, I wanted it rare. However, if a passage comes up that anyone feels is flat out undercooked, I would appreciate a line citation.

Thanks again.

Read the first chapter here...

great work! You definatly have writer material in you; perhaps just a little raw with the style (Don't know how much you've developed your writing since this ch, but im sure you've gotten better)

you have a lot of potential, I'll tell you that. Im definatly backing this.

I have really enjoyed that part that I have read and look forward to buying it when it reaches bookstores which I have no doubt it will be soon and even possible a movie

I thought this was a ripping read - carrying me along from the first chapter. I wasn't bothered by the italics and liked the immediacy created by the use of the presnt tense. Not my normal kind of read so did get a bit lost with all the new creatures and language to take in but good enough to keep me going Backed.
Good luck with the desk!
GP Morgan (Barrio Chino)

I have backed this. I really enjoy the suspense and the description of the surrounds. I am obviously in the minoritory because musings of the pricipal character shown in italics seems to be the norm. I prefer to have thoughts explained rather than reduced to dialog. I know that creative writing style manuals do not promote this. But it happens. I find that each time a chance apun these phrases in italics my hair stands on end.

Good luck

Hi, Alan

Although this is the type of book I usually read, I usually go for something different. I really enjoyed how you transport the reader into the story. I enjoy the imaginery, the detail and the skill that was put into this book.
You have created some pretty vivid characters and places in my mind.
The one thing that I think could be cut would be all the spaces in your writting. You really don't need all of those. If you are continuing with the same idea then no space is required. Although if you are commencing on a new idea then put in a space.
All in all I enjoyed the book very much.
Your cover page really reflects on your story.

I wish you the best of luck with your story.
Sincerely, Nicole Summers

Lost Treasures.

Hi Alan,

While this is not the kind of book I read, I've backed it on the first chapter because your writing is so good. The imagery, dialogue, and the creation are interesting and vivid. I like Trim and Tam and the idea of cliff spiders and the way they can function as a pair - that is very unique, plus they seem endearing with their scurrying, but they also seem formidable in their ease with scrambling up cliff faces.

Your description in the beginning of the ascent was clear enough to push my fear of heights into play, which is great when I know logically that there's nothing to fear and yet I have an uneasy feeling. I mean it about the writing being good, and I sincerely wish you the best. As I'm writing this message, I have just glanced at the top message in your comments section. It's from you. Over twenty-thousand words trimmed. That explains why this is such a well-written story! When I wrote my novel, I did it in about three months and ended up with about 150,000 words. Three years later, after going over it and over it, I'm down to 91,500 -- and very much to my surprise, I think I still have the same story!! Only it's tight now. Yours is tight. And yes, owl pellets worked just fine, in fact I took note of that at the time, including the lemming bones. Very good!

Wishing you much success with this story,
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

Hi Alan,

While this is not the kind of book I read, I've backed it on the first chapter because your writing is so good. The imagery, dialogue, and the creation are interesting and vivid. I like Trim and Tam and the idea of cliff spiders and the way they can function as a pair - that is very unique, plus they seem endearing with their scurrying, but they also seem formidable in their ease with scrambling up cliff faces.

Your description in the beginning of the ascent was clear enough to push my fear of heights into play, which is great when I know logically that there's nothing to fear and yet I have an uneasy feeling. I mean it about the writing being good, and I sincerely wish you the best. As I'm writing this message, I have just glanced at the top message in your comments section. It's from you. Over twenty-thousand words trimmed. That explains why this is such a well-written story! When I wrote my novel, I did it in about three months and ended up with about 150,000 words. Three years later, after going over it and over it, I'm down to 91,500 -- and very much to my surprise, I think I still have the same story!! Only it's tight now. Yours is tight. And yes, owl pellets worked just fine, in fact I took note of that at the time, including the lemming bones. Very good!

Wishing you much success with this story,
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

I apologize I haven't given my opinion sooner, I have been on vacation.
I really like your first chapter, the different sorts of people like the Cliff Spiders are really interesting! I love books where you can get involved in the workings of the world/realm. I like your writing style, too. It is very authentic and descriptive. One thing you might want to do the next time you are editing is reading your book out loud. There were a couple of sentences that I had to read twice.
Overall a really great book! I hope you accomplish you goal!
//the compass rose

Excellent, compulsive writing. Well done. Geoff ('Saxon')

First of all, thank you for writing a brilliant story. I was excited to see something listed as Fantasy on the ED. Second, it definitely deserves to be there. I love the first chapter, and your lyrical descriptions. The first picture you show of Inica is absolutely beautiful. The plot itself is interesting and attention-keeping, and it's different enough in both theme and style to be refreshing.

I like a lot of this, although I find stories written in present tense difficult, as though distanced from the action by one degree, perhaps because I'm too close to the narrator - I have to think what he thinks. It also, limits me to his perceptions, and in this case it limits my assimilation of his surroundings. I would like a little more description to keep me oriented, but Hron is too interested in his destiny and the task at hand.

Nevertheless, I find the the prose elegant and the story compelling, although for the above reason, it took a little time for me to get into it.

Backed with pleasure.

Steve
(The Shot)

I enjoy how you have set up the story and grow curious to the 'ghost flower'

the building up is strong and makes you wonder about the different people like the Cliff Spiders, as there are sure to be other interesting people to come in this story.

Well written, I wish you all the best.

Backed!

Shannon Lee

Mythic Blood

Although this is not a genre I usually read I found myself drawn into the story. The first chapter was gripping and I had to read on. You deserve your place on the editors desk. Very well written, exciting and I like that it is written in the first person. Excellent work.

Susan Bailey
(Mary's Mail, The Menopause Period.)

This is an excellent read. The first person pov puts the reader straight inside the narrator's head. His struggle to climb the cliff is vividly described: fingers reddened to the shade of raw venison, a waterfall roars. His sense of vertigo is heightened by: ...spinning one way while my guts spin the other. I loved the description of their enemy as: These marching cities and the cleverness of making the Cliff Spiders' chiefs into one creature: Trim-Tram reach up to tap each of my shoulders. Just one small nit-pick, the syntax of : because the warriors (just had), grates a little, I would suggest: because the warriors had just...
This is my type of read and I happily give it my backing.

Wow....how does it feel to be numero uno? No wonder, this is a great story and written like a pro...backed.

For someone like myself, unused to this genre, I run the risk of descending into predictable blurbing or neat patronising sloganning. You had the good grace to read some of my work and i am complimented by your references which reveal your sincerity and perceptive insights.

Ghost Warrior has attracted widespread Comment and support by Authonomites and that is a measure of its high placing in the genre. This is because it observes all the requirements of this form of writing: enticement in by magical vocabulary; believable characters; consistent story line; stunning antithesis; glorious prose and poetic appeal.

Here is combined all the best elements of Gothic, Ghost, Historical & Fantasy fiction in a skillful blend of the most compelling and readable content. The author has succeeded in distilling the essense of fantasy fiction by liberating the constaints of what is known, coupled with a plausible and persuasive inner coherence. What is more, he reaches out to popular demand with a book that is bound to excite enormous commercial appeal.

Thank you Alan for bringing your marvellous book to my attention. I happily Back & Shelve it and confidently look forward to buying a copy of Ghost Warrior in the very near future.

Best Regards. Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE

This is not a genre that I particularly enjoy reading, but Ghost Warrior has that special something...a something that gripped me from the start and made me read and read for far longer than I thought. The imagery is remarkable and the prose give that tension and anticipation needed for such an intriguing story. I think this is destined for success Alan and I wish you all the luck in the world.
Backed
Amy
Chameleons and Coinkidinks.

Alan, There is no doubt that you are sitting right were you belong, well written,creative and powerful. This book paints beautiful images and vivid emotions. You feel the pain almost physically yourself..especially in chapter one...We are almost fooled into believing that the war chief is one sighted..to save his people with no time for personal concerns.

Then we get to chapter two, where we learn that love is extremely important to him, and we get to see the romantic side of him. This is such a poetic chapter in comparison to the first which was a welcoming feeling to share.

I do have 1 suggestion..and it is probably just the poet in me, but you describe such a beautiful tail of the Ghost flower. The romantic playful scene with Trim-Tam is so wonderful, but there is a line that I feel breaks the flow of the beautiful words before this line and after it when he proposes.....
Your line is: " Trim-Tam seem resolved to suck as much of each others' faces into their mouths as they can"
I feel it should be softer mors sensual maybe something along these lines or feel...

"Trim-Tam envelop each others' faces with a burning passion that causes their lips to quiver"
again I am not saying that is the exact line but I think that would keep the emotional flow more fluid with the precedeing and following sentences....Just a suggestion nothing more, it's fine the way it is, we all see things a little different..
I wish you much success with the editors...and I thank you for your imput and support Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

You asked, Alan, if I received your comment on FIREWALLS. I did. I remember it and I replied to it. Thanks.

I know I read and commented on GHOST WARRIORS in return. I specifically remember comment on the white raven. I live in a community with lots of exposure to aboriginal people and culture and share your fascination with tradtional knowledge and lore.

However, I can find no record of my comment. Be assured I love your book and your writing and firmly believe you belong at the top of the heap!

Congratulations!

Eileen Schuh Canadian Author FIREWALLS

This is brilliant. I mean absolutely stunning. The descriptions are amazing, and you can feel each and every one of Hron's war-wounds, and in the first chapter, he almost feels resigned to the worst fate that can befall such a warrior. The only suggestion I would make is when you say "To think I, Hron the Warchief, am drained before the first spear thrust, afraid my ankle will collapse if my aches don't bear me down first." is to put exclamation point there, because to me, it almost sounds like an oath, or at least a disdainful, vehement statement. This is stunning and beautiful in a raw, masculine way. It's no wonder you currently sit at number 1. Kudos!

Jessica L. Degarmo
"How to Meet a Guy at the Food Lion"

Dear Alan

I have said this before and though I do not wish to sound redundant, I still wish to make this point again. I do not like first person writing. Though every once in a while I do find books that capture me, that take me through the heart and soul of the writer as he gazes through the eyes of a character he knows from inside out. Where the reader can almost feel and sense this. The world around him starts to breathe and sometimes for just a split moment you forget that you're reading and it becomes an experience.

I always felt that's what true first person writing always should have been like, when written well.

You made the grade with flying colors.

Well done and I certainly hope you make it to the editors desk and that you find a publisher as soon as possible.

Good luck and Happy Writing!

Anne Morgan - Forgotten Gods

You tell a good story with vibrant imagery. I see why you're on the editor's desk. While not my usual genre of choice, I find your book intriguing. Backed.
~Linnette

As someone who only rarely reads this sort of fantasy my comments will serve the author little. Nevertheless the writing here is of a high standard and I've no doubt that Ghost Warrior would, if published, attract a fair readership which is why it gets my backing. Best of luck with the Eds.
John O'Brien - Other Face

Very well written, backed.

You have created a truly magical world and some amazing characters. Personally I like the present tense (my husband also writes this way) as it puts you right inside the MCs head.
You comments on my little effort The DragonKeeper would be very much appreciated.
Best Wishes
M E Wallis The Dragonkeeper

Hi Alan,
You have a very poetic style of writing. And while this is not a book that I would purchase for myself, I am able to recognize good writing, and understand why this book has risen through the ranks as it has.

I myself am editing my own book and shredding thousands of words trying to shape it into something that will appeal to a wider audience just as you did.

If you have the time to read a portion of my book; Grey Skies, I would be eager to read any comments you might have afterward.

You have my backing.
Best of luck,
Tom

Hi! I've just read the first chapter, and while I enjoy the writing style, I notice you write passively sometimes. For example, in the very first paragraph you say, "The sun has baked the stone all day," when you could have much more powerful imagery by saying something like: "The stone burned to touch" to have more powerful imagery as well as not specifically saying 'the sun.' (That way, while you imply, you're not hitting the readers over the head - if a stone is outside and it is hot, most likely it is from the sun anyway). Also, you say "seems" a lot - don't be wimpy! :) Say it and mean it. For example, instead of saying "The summer day seems to turn to winter," say "The summer day turns wintry cold" or something of the like. As I said, I did enjoy the writing style otherwise and the idea/concept is very interesting!

~Elizabeth Holly
(Phantasmagoria)