The Briar and the Rose

Definitely a good read, couldn't put it down. I LOVE the Irish references and you set the scenes very well; it feels real **underline real several times**. The emotion comes across strong and you can sense Raven's intentions, it's almost laughable that she'd automatically fall in love then go 'OK, i'll go marry this other bloke even though I don't like him', but you really made it believable. It works.
The only thing I'd say as a suggestion, the realization that she is Katherine goes quite quickly. I know that's how it would happen in real life, but maybe put some longer filler in between so the reader can process? Just my opinion, I do read quite rapidly when I like something, I tear through then re-read at leisure.
Either way, this should be a definite winner.

In traditional Authonomy style, I do have a story of my own uploaded, but am not as worried about backing as I am about critiques. It's only the first 3 chapters so I would really be grateful if you could have a look and give any comments you have :)

Again, a definite winner. I've given it 5 stars and it's sitting happily on my shelf.

Emmy (Mackerel Sky)

Lori I read the whole book in one sitting and I think its great. Gave it five stars and this plot is thicker than most historical romances already in print. I mean guy and girl resist each other and finally accept each, other story over. But this plot was different and well done.
Few things as a reader though I would hope you could incorporate into the book.
One is the time interval between the fire and Raven being found in Darlingham.
Second, I am a bit confused as to how the opening scene realtes to the book, maybe I was a hasty reader, so you could explain to me privately, yes a girl is seen running around.
Also you could flll in on what happened, she reached for the window and then somebody or someone knows what happened to Katherine between the fire and her reappearance.
Also the fire was in Winterbourne and she appeared in Ireland? Fugue? How did she turn up in Ireland? When she did how did Maidred's soul communicate to her the first time. Was she selected? Did Maidred cause the fire so that she could used Katherine to bring her love with Seamus to fulfilment? I know you're going to be mad I'm nitpicking, but these are gaps that I dont want to let my imagination fill. So maybe you could thicken it up and probably weave in more and this would be great. Five stars for this book and when you break into the 100 a promised backing.... lovely read

This is very intriguing. Nice job on putting forth emotion in your characters. I can see this doing well both on authonomy and out in the so called "real world." Best of luck. MJ

I have read eight chapters, although chapter 3 and four are the same on here-check your version for I think I speak for everyone when I say to have missed the kiss and the confrontation with Devan and Raven is sorely trying.
I believe you have a very promising read here. I was a little confused at times, I think that a little more information is needed to make sure that readers do not simply get fed up and move on. But your characters are interesting and carry the plot along. I will be back but wanted to back this now.
Good luck with it
Millie C

Apart from noticing that Devan does a lot of shouting in one form or another this made for a very good afternoon's read. I am glad I found it. Action dialogue, mystery are all very well done. I don't say it often but I could be tempted to buy this!
Just watch how many exclamation marks you use, treat like gold!
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

This is a great read. The writing is very gripping and you're instantly drawn into the emotion of the characters. The history and information beforehand is very interesting and helpful too. A greatly researched book - well done. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice

Beyond excellent writing. I read this straight through. I wanted to shake Raven and Devan so much throughout the whole confusion they both created! But it all ended up working out, thankfully. I became worried when Devan thought Brookshire was Seamus. That, by the way, didn't make much sense to me because everything Devan had been experiencing was parallel to everything Seamus had experienced which is why I found it hard to believe. Also, I'm not sure if anyone else mentioned, but chapter 4 is a repeat of chapter 3.

One thing that confused me when I first began reading this is the jump between chapter 2 and chapter 3. At the end of chapter 2, there was no declaration by Devan that he would be making Raven is guest. At the beginning of chapter 3, however, we see that Raven is not a servant anymore. I had to go back and forth a few times to figure out what happened or if I missed something.

And wow, poor Raven. She has to go through all the dreams about Seamus and Maired to be with her soul mate and once those dreams ended, another set began. Although, I suppose it's finally her memory coming back. I'm not sure if dreams are the right way to go about them. And thank you for not ending the story after Devan and Raven had their romantic happily ever after because it would've left the readers completely clueless as to her real past. Hopefully you will update soon! Can't wait for the next installment!

Lori-- Lovely stuff-- you capture the language and the feel of the times so that we are swept up immediately, allowing ourselves to be immersed in the unabashed romance of it all. Excellent storytelling. Onto the shelf, with regrets I have little time for commenting more thoroughly...

Ruth/Base Spirits

The romance that every girl dreams of. Enchanting and very creative. But sometimes it felt like you were in a little bit of a hurry. Didn't let the sexual tension build enough. This is a piece with so much to offer. I think you could tease the reader a bit more. They will love you even more for it. Good luck and on my shelf. C.P

Once you are whisked away in this carriage by Lori Williams, there is no escape, the doors are locked! With no desire for escape, in any case. Put the coffee on before you begin, it’s going to be a long night. . .

A delicious blend of romance, history, Irish culture and the surreal, with a dash of Cinderella and a pinch of Pygmalion thrown into the pot. . .all in right balance. Certainly a fascinating improvement to those two ancient stories as the ‘dark’ setting of Ireland and the evocation of certain faierie magic inserts new flavor in this treatment.

Best of all, I found myself caring as much for the minor characters as I did the major ones. As a fellow writer, I can also appreciate the skill with which Lori weaves Irish myth, dream sequences, ‘ghostly’ characters and dialect in with the more straightforward tale. These are no diversion or confection, simply making the story unique and more interesting – they DRIVE the story line forward, they ARE the story.

Williams has lovingly created a believable, entrancingly alien world.

Now all I have to do is catch up on my sleep!

Hello Lori,

WOW! What can I say, except well done. Your writing is beautiful, imaginitive and your descriptive prose is excellent. Although I was a little confused by the History at the start, I was certainly hooked from chapter 2 onwards. After having read several chapters throughout the pages on the site, I feel a little frustrated that there is nothing more...How long before you update the rest? This is a wonderfully romantic story with a Cinderella type theme. I am backing this for its potential. SHELVED. By the way, my father's family come from Dublin.

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm (Perhaps you would like to read mine - also a romance)

The stunning cover first attracted me to this book and the synopsis encouraged me to give it closer inspection. Within a few lines I was totally immersed in a fantastic story that is extremely well written. I may be biased as I am originally from Ireland (nice to see someone using a fada properly!) but I love this book and hope to see it landing on the Ed’s desk soon.
Backed!

Cracking. Only someone with true Celtic blood coursing through there veins can write something like this...or a very talented and gifted changeling.
Backed.

Spankingly well written. I laughed at Raven's reactions to being given etiquette lessons. A charming read.

Andrew

I found thepitch very confusing... whi is Barbara Allen and what is the LEGEND? You have a lovely style of writing, a good cover, a well developed sense of your characters but I think if you lose the reader at the pitch you have less chance in the novel itself.
I live in Ireland and so love the connection to here and I am a historian and so the historic aspect interests me but unfortunately i am a poor historian obviously as i do not Barbara Allen... oops!
Good luck with this, it's a pleasant change from other books uploaded here.
Backed with pleasure as if the pitch changes i think it will do well
Chris (inside Out)
if you have a moment maybe you could pass judgement on my novel

Lori.
Read the first three chapters and it will be interesting as to how the story unfolds. A few suggestions:
Your pitch assumes the reader is aware of who Barbara Allen is, possibly copy and paste the first 2 lines of the history to the start of the pitch."

Good idea, thanks:)

"The primer, have you considered using footnotes instead? Although some readers don’t like them, on this occasion I think they would work better. "

In most places that the words are used (very sparingly - something like 11 times throughout), the reader can make out the general meaning. I'm not big on footnotes on romance novels, however, if the publisher wanted them, I'd use 'em:)

"Consider using the title ‘Author’s Note’ instead of ‘History’. Readers expect History to be specific and impersonal. "

There's a reason I cannot use "Author's Note" in place of "History" - to tell you why, after a mere 3 chapters, would be a spoiler and negate the use of the history altogether. Suffice it to say that history is imperative to the story.

"You also assume that the reader knows who Child is, Francis James Child may be better. "

Good point.

"The first chapter has, for my taste, too many adverbs. Good Luck"

Thanks;)

Lori.
Read the first three chapters and it will be interesting as to how the story unfolds. A few suggestions:
Your pitch assumes the reader is aware of who Barbara Allen is, possibly copy and paste the first 2 lines of the history to the start of the pitch.
The primer, have you considered using footnotes instead? Although some readers don’t like them, on this occasion I think they would work better.
Consider using the title ‘Author’s Note’ instead of ‘History’. Readers expect History to be specific and impersonal.
You also assume that the reader knows who Child is, Francis James Child may be better.
The first chapter has, for my taste, too many adverbs. Good Luck

Lori -

I wish there were more books like this on Authonomy. You've got some wornderful characters here with the downtrodden Raven and Devan who has shut hmself away since the loss of his beloved. You've done a remarkable job bringing folklore and song to life with this novel.

Thanks for the comments, folks:) I do appreciate it, and for those with books, I'll try to get to yours asap (at the moment I'm going through the final chapters before putting them up here). Rodney, Briar took me a year to write. It was my first book.

Lori,

With all of the rich, historical elements of the period of your novel, I'm curious to know how long it has taken for you to write it.

The writing is enchanting and creative. Your story is beautifully told.

Shelved
Rodney

This is lovely, Lori. You have done a remarkable job of research here and your storyline is excellent as well as very well written. The dialogue is beautifully delivered and the characterizations are perfect. I will keep reading this one. I love historical fiction like this. Shelved.

Betty K "The Huguenot's Destiny"

The Briar and The Rose

Hi Lori,

What a fascinating tale, breathing life into an ancient ballad. This is history made live, we are plunged straight into the time period without fanfare or any demonstrative show of all the research you will have done to deliver this to us. Great characters, excellent settings, gentle forward narrative. I love the pedigree of this story, building on a folkloric ballad and the tone of the writing lends substance to your themes. You establish the conflict early on and you show us what is happening and never tell, your narrative stance gentle and invisible, a soft hand guiding us gently forward. I love history made alive like this, not easy to do, but you make it look effortless.

Welcome to this site, I hope it brings you as much pleasure and challenge as it has me.
Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)