Book Jacket

 

rank 5470
word count 50818
date submitted 16.11.2009
date updated 02.12.2009
genres: Fantasy, Children's, Young Adult, C...
classification: universal
complete

A TASTE OF VOODOO

Douglas Braverman

A suburban family undergoes some comic, unexpected experiences when a voodoo priestess is hired to watch the children, in this humorous Middle Grade/Young Adult novel.

 

Simon and Denise Belkirk and their children are a successful, upscale African-American family living in an affluent suburb of New York City. When Simon and Denise are invited on a business cruise from Hawaii to Tahiti, they are faced with one problem: Who will watch the children while they are away?

Enter Madame Coco LaFitte, a distant cousin of Denise's, who has recently left Haiti for political reasons, and is looking for a home. Coco, it turns out, is studying to become a voodoo priestess, and Simon and Denise are not convinced that she is the best choice to watch their children. However, Coco soon endears herself to the family, and Simon and Denise leave her in charge, after Simon insists that Coco promise she will not practice any sort of magic in their absence. Coco agrees, but reminds him that "Sometimes magic just happens."

And does it ever! The Belkirks' four children - Marshall, 16; Tiffany, 14; Kendra, 8; and Corey, the 12 year old narrator - all experience Coco's magic - often unwelcome - as she tries to help them with sports tryouts, dating, pet hamsters and difficult teachers, while stressing the necessity of practicing only good magic.

 
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tags

comedy, humorous middle grade/young adult, magic, voodoo

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213 comments

 

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Chapters

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CHAPTER ONE

 

 

    “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” my father said.

I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was deadly serious.

    “Don’t be silly!” my mother laughed. “What could possibly go wrong?”

    “What could go wrong?” my father repeated in amazement. “I can think of a million things! But let’s start with: How safe is it to leave the kids with a voodoo priestess?”

    What our parents didn’t realize was that all four of us children were huddled outside the kitchen door, listening to their conversation. We knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but after all, this concerned us. And apparently… they were thinking of leaving us with some kind of voodoo priestess!

    “She’s not a voodoo priestess,” my mother insisted.

    “Oh, no?” our father asked. “I thought your Aunt Henrietta said that she was.”

    “Well,” our mother admitted. “Maybe she’s studying to be one.”

    We could hear our father sigh. “I don’t know,” he said. “Your whole family scares me.”

    Then we heard the sound of our father’s knife rhythmically chopping something on his wooden cutting board. The wonderful fragrance of freshly sliced garlic drifted out to us in the dining room.

    Our parents were in the kitchen preparing dinner as they discussed whether our mother’s cousin was or wasn’t a voodoo priestess.

    I guess I should correct myself. I said my parents were preparing dinner. Actually, it was my father who was cooking, as he always did, while my mother set the table.

    My father is a famous chef. Maybe you’ve heard of him. His name is Simon Belkirk, and he currently works as the head chef at a fancy restaurant that he owns in New York City called Private Stock, right on Wall Street. His cooking has won him many awards, and he’s considered one of the finest African-American chefs in the country.

    In fact, it’s because of my father’s cooking that my parents were searching for somebody to take care of us.

    Several months ago, my father was contacted by a cruise line. They were organizing a three-week gourmet cruise that would sail from Hawaii to Tahiti. Famous chefs from all over the world were invited to participate. Each one would cook several dinners during the cruise. When the ship arrived in Tahiti, the passengers would vote for their favorite chef, who would win an award and a large cash prize.

    My father was always up for a challenge, and thought it would be fun to compete. And, of course, my mother loved the idea of not only enjoying a free cruise from Hawaii to Tahiti, but also, of my father getting paid for it, and possibly winning some money.

    The only trouble was – what to do with us children? If the cruise had been scheduled for the summer, the answer would have been easy. We could have gone along with our parents.

    But the cruise was planned for the last three weeks of March – a wonderful time to visit the tropics, as my mother pointed out – but right in the middle of the school year.

    All four of us children realized that if the cruise had only been scheduled to last a week, maybe – just maybe – our parents would have allowed us to take off from school to join them. But three weeks was too long for us to miss classes. And that left us with a major problem – who would watch us while our parents were away?

    Of course, my older brother and sister, Marshall and Tiffany, insisted that we didn’t need anyone to watch us. After all, they argued, they were old enough to take care of everything while our parents were on the cruise.

    “You’re sixteen and fourteen,” my father reminded them every time that they complained that they didn’t need a babysitter. Well, that much was true. Tiffany and Marshall didn’t need a babysitter. Just recently, my parents had stopped hiring our neighbor, Mrs. Higginson, to watch the four of us when my parents went out for the evening with friends. “You may not need anyone to watch you when we go out for a few hours to see a movie,” our father agreed. “But you’re not old enough to take care of the entire household for three weeks.”

    Marshall and Tiffany both protested that of course they were old enough… but secretly, my younger sister, Kendra, and I were glad that we would not be left in their care.

    Marshall is big. He’s almost six-foot-four, and he’s on the basketball team at school. But though he looks like a grown man, let’s face it – he’s not as smart as he is tall. Something always goes wrong when Marshall is around. The last time my parents went out to a movie and left Marshall in charge, my father gave us some money so that we could send out for a pizza. But Marshall decided that he could keep the money, if he cooked us some hamburgers that he found in the freezer. He set up the barbecue in the backyard and lit the fire, but it started to rain, so he moved the barbecue – fire and all – into the garage, and almost wound up burning the house down.

    Each time that Marshall insisted that he was capable of watching us during the three weeks that my parents would be on the cruise, my father reminded him of the barbecue incident.

    “We’d like to come back and find the house still standing,” my father would say.

    My older sister, Tiffany, is much smarter than Marshall. She’s one of those girls who’s not only smart, but pretty and popular. And all of us knew that if Tiffany were left in charge she would be so busy running off to the mall with her friends, or attending parties, or going out on dates with her various boyfriends, that she would have no time to stay home and prevent Marshall from doing something stupid like barbecuing the garage.

    If anything, Marshall and Tiffany probably need someone to supervise them more than Kendra and I do.

    My younger sister, Kendra, is eight, and she’s not only smart, she’s practically a genius. She seems to know everything without having to study. She also has a lot of common sense. When Marshall moved the flaming barbecue into the garage that time, Kendra not only warned him not to, but knew enough to have a fire extinguisher ready, and was the first person to pick up the phone and call 9-1-1 for the fire department. I suppose if one of us had to be responsible while our parents were away on the cruise, I would feel safest with Kendra in charge – but who wants to have to answer to an eight year old girl? Especially a bossy, eight year old know-it-all.

    As for me, my name is Corey Belkirk, and I’m twelve years old. I guess some people might consider me a “geek” or a “nerd” because I like to work on my computer, and collect comic books, and build model planes and things – but since I have an oversized sports star for a brother, an amazingly popular and pretty older sister, and a child genius for a younger sister, I like to consider myself the only normal child in the family.

    But clearly, because I’m twelve, my parents wouldn’t want to leave me in charge of the others for three weeks. And to be honest, I don’t think I could handle them. Marshall would certainly get into some kind of trouble, Tiffany would disappear with her friends, and Kendra would constantly be criticizing me, saying things like, “No, no, that’s not the way to do it! You’re handling it all wrong!”

    So obviously, I agreed with my parents. It was better to bring someone in to watch us… But who?

    Our family lives in Glenwood Harbor, Long Island, just east of New York City. We live here so that my father can easily commute to his restaurant. But my father’s family is originally from Chicago. All of our aunts and uncles still live out there and have jobs of their own, and would be unable to take off three weeks to watch us.

    My mother’s family is scattered all over the United States, but she has no relatives locally who could take care of us.

    My mother and father had considered asking our friends’ parents if maybe each of us could stay with one of their families, but this idea didn’t work out either. Anyone who knows Marshall knows that he is trouble-prone and accident-prone, and wouldn’t want to be responsible for him. I think that the parents of Tiffany’s friends were also a little concerned that once our father and mother were out of town, Tiffany’s busy social schedule might be difficult to control. As for Kendra, she’s always such a know-it-all that many adults find her difficult to have around. And as for me, my best friend, Evan, is one of six children, and we doubted that his parents would have the room – or the energy – to put me up for three weeks.

    So, once again, we were left with the problem: Who was going to watch us?

    Of course, there was the possibility that my parents could hire someone from an agency, but none of us children were looking forward to being taken care of by a complete stranger.

    Kendra had come right out with a perfectly good question when my parents first mentioned using an agency. “What if the agency sends us a serial killer?” she asked.

    “Don’t be silly!” my mother had answered. “I’m sure the agency does a thorough background check on a person before they send someone over.”

    “Maybe,” Kendra said. “But what if the serial killer murders the person the agency sends us, and then shows up in her place? We’ll never know the difference until it’s too late!”

    “Don’t be ridiculous!” my father said crossly, but I could tell that after Kendra’s question, no one in the family – including myself – was convinced that hiring a stranger would be a good idea.

    Still, as the date of the cruise approached, my parents had begun making inquiries about reliable agencies that could provide us with someone – hopefully, not a serial killer – who could take care of us for three weeks.

    And then, just this morning, my mother’s Great Aunt Henrietta had called from Florida to tell us that a distant cousin of my mother’s had just arrived from Haiti, and needed a job.

    This cousin was so distant that even my mother had never heard of her.

    And as the four of us children stood in the dining room, listening at the closed kitchen door, our parents’ conversation was the first time that we had ever discovered that we had a cousin who was involved with voodoo.

    From the kitchen, we could hear the chopped garlic sizzle as my father tossed it into the frying pan. It made an evil hissing noise that seemed to be the perfect background sound for a discussion about voodoo.

    “Whether she’s an official voodoo priestess, or just studying to be one,” my father said. “I don’t want her watching the children. After all, we don’t know anything about her, and we certainly don’t know anything about voodoo.”

    On the word voodoo, Marshall began wiggling his long, bony fingers at us, as if he were placing us under an evil spell.

    “Ooooohhhhh! Voodoo!” he moaned, trying to sound spooky. “I bet she’ll try turning us into zombies!” Marshall suddenly held his arms out in front of him, and began to walk stiffly, as if in a trance. But being Marshall, he tripped and fell forward onto the kitchen door. The door swung open, and suddenly, all four of us were revealed to our parents, as we stood in the doorway, obviously eavesdropping.

    “What are you kids doing there?” my father asked with annoyance.

    My mother turned to face us, clearly disappointed in our behavior. “Don’t you know that it’s wrong to eavesdrop?”

    All four of us were embarrassed at being caught, but as usual, my younger sister, Kendra, was the first to recover.

    “It’s a good thing we did!” Kendra argued. “What’s all this about leaving us with a voodoo priestess?”

    “No one is going to leave you with a voodoo priestess,” my father said. “It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

    Tiffany sniffed irritably. “How can you even consider doing such a thing? What would I tell my friends?” Suddenly, Tiffany gasped in horror. “What would I tell Bryan Leland?”

    Bryan Leland is a handsome boy who recently moved into the neighborhood. Tiffany hadn’t met him yet, but she had developed a serious crush on him. All we had been hearing from her for the last few weeks was “Bryan Leland! Bryan Leland! Bryan Leland!”

    Marshall laughed. “Maybe the voodoo priestess could put a spell on Bryan Leland, and make him your love slave!” Once again, Marshall stuck his arms out in front of him, and began to walk stiffly, imitating a zombie.

    Unfortunately, this time Marshall’s outthrust arms wound up knocking a plate of breaded pork chops off the stove, where my father had placed them so that he could add them to the frying pan in a few minutes.

My mother stooped down quickly to pick the pork chops off the floor. “Marshall!” she sighed. “Now, look what you’ve done!”

My father kneeled to help her. “It’s all this talk about voodoo,” he grumbled. He turned to face us. “Now, I want all four of you to wash up for dinner. And there’ll be no more talk about voodoo!”

But, of course, there was…

    We were seated around the dinner table, enjoying the pork chops that my father had prepared – and, believe me, there is nothing better than having a father who is a professional chef.

    Even though we had been told that there would be no further discussion of voodoo, I couldn’t help being curious.

    “How come we’re related to a voodoo priestess?” I asked.

    My father looked up in amusement. “Your mother comes from a very strange family.”

    “Simon!” my mother protested. “You know that isn’t true!”

    “Isn’t it?”

    My mother paused for a moment to think it over. “Well…” she finally admitted. “Maybe I do have some colorful relatives. But no one else is involved with voodoo.”

    “Then how are we related to her?” I asked again.

    “She’s a distant, distant cousin,” my mother explained. “One of my grandmother’s cousins once married a man from Haiti. They had a daughter, who moved back to Haiti years later, and she had a daughter there, who’s my Cousin Coco.”

    “Coco!” We all laughed at the unusual name.

    My mother nodded. “Her full name is Coco LaFitte.”

    “Sounds like a stripper,” my father chuckled.

    Again, everyone laughed.

    “She can’t help it,” my mother said. “It’s her name.”

    “Yes,” Kendra agreed, once again turning into Little Miss Know-It-All. “Haiti was a French colony, so they all have French-sounding names.”

    My mother smiled. “Very good, Kendra.”

    Her praise inspired Kendra to continue her lecture. “I wonder if she’s related to the famous French pirate, Jean LaFitte.”

    My father nodded wearily. “With your mother’s family… it wouldn’t surprise me.”

    “Simon! We are not related to pirates!”

    “No,” my father agreed. “Just to voodoo priestesses.”

    “Why did she become a voodoo priestess?” Tiffany asked.

    My mother shook her head. “I don’t really know.”

    “I do!” Kendra said. “Voodoo is a religion in Haiti. It’s based on magic that slaves brought over with them from Africa.”

    “Thank you, Kendra.” My mother always tried to encourage Kendra to share her knowledge, but I had the feeling that right now my mother wished that Kendra wouldn’t go into any more detail about voodoo.

    “A lot of it has to do with contacting the dead,” Kendra continued. “And they also sacrifice animals, and sometimes it involves snake worship.”

    “Kendra,” my mother said firmly. “Your dinner’s getting cold.”

    Kendra took the hint, but now Marshall had become interested. “And don’t they use voodoo dolls?”

    “Of course,” Kendra said. “Why do you think they’re called voodoo dolls?”

    “All right,” our mother said. “Now, that’s enough talk about voodoo.”

    “But why did Cousin Coco leave Haiti?” Tiffany asked.

    My mother looked somewhat uncomfortable. “I – I don’t really know.”

    My father glanced up from his plate. “Didn’t your Aunt Henrietta say that Coco was thrown out of Haiti?”

    “She wasn’t thrown out,” my mother corrected him. “Aunt Henrietta said Coco had to leave Haiti… for political reasons.”

    That sounded interesting! “Political reasons?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

    Again, my mother looked uncomfortable. “I – I don’t know.”

    “I do!” Kendra piped up. “Haiti used to be a dictatorship, and many people thought that the dictator used magic to control his enemies. When the dictator was overthrown, voodoo became very unpopular. Sometimes when people get caught practicing voodoo there now, they’re asked to leave the country.”

    Tiffany suddenly looked concerned. “So you mean Cousin Coco was thrown out of her home because she practiced voodoo?”

    “Maybe,” my mother said.

    “And where is she living now?” Tiffany asked.

    “She landed in Florida,” my mother explained. “But she doesn’t really know what she’s going to do. She’s staying with my Great Aunt Henrietta for the moment, but she doesn’t know where she’s going to live, or what she’s going to do for work.”

    “I guess there aren’t too many job openings for voodoo priestesses,” my father chuckled.

    But Tiffany was not amused. “It isn’t funny, Dad. She’s all alone in a strange country, and she’s probably frightened.”

    Marshall broke into laughter. “Frightened? I can’t imagine a voodoo priestess being frightened!”

    “Why not?” Tiffany asked. “How would you like it if you were thrown out of the country, and had to live in a foreign land where you didn’t know anybody?”

    “Except your mother’s Great Aunt Henrietta,” my father added. “Which is frightening enough in itself.”

    Everyone laughed, except my mother, who was about to say something, but Tiffany spoke first.

    “Maybe we should help her,” Tiffany said. “After all, she is family.”

    I could see that our mother was grateful for Tiffany’s support. “That’s how I feel.”

    My father sighed and shook his head. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea to leave you children with a total stranger.”

    “Yeah,” Marshall snickered. “Especially when she’s a voodoo priestess.” Again, Marshall wiggled his fingers at us while he waved his hands in circles, as if casting a spell. Once again, he managed to knock something over – this time, the half-full salad bowl off the dinner table, dumping lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber slices, and croutons onto the floor.

    “Marshall!” our mother sighed.

    But Tiffany was not distracted by the fallen salad. “The cruise isn’t for another few weeks. Can’t we invite Cousin Coco to come visit while you’re both still here? And then, by the time you leave on the cruise, she won’t be a total stranger.”

    “Tiffany!” our mother said, her eyes sparkling with delight. “That’s a wonderful idea!”

    Our father shook his head. “I still don’t like it.”

    “But you don’t have to leave Cousin Coco in charge if you don’t like her,” Tiffany said.

    Our mother nodded, happily. “Simon, she’s right... And after all, how strange can Coco be?”

    Little did we know, we were about to find out…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapters

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Sly80 wrote 861 days ago

The pitch to this is just too tasty to resist. 'How safe is it to leave kids with a voodoo priestess' an important question for any parent. 'Not as smart as he is tall' no, but his brother is, the 'only normal child in the family'. The writing here is animated, warm and bright, exactly like the family, all of whom I've taken an instant liking to. 'After all, how strange can Coco be?' Well, we just have to find out. (BTW I'd leave off the very last line in 1 as it is already in the reader's mind. I'd also be tempted to trim back on the nightmare a bit.) Coco, an explosion of colour, a mangled rainbow ... nice. 'This I buy the other day in Wal-Mart' argh, after all that lead up! 'You shouldn't have' now I'm spilling my coffee. ('while my mother was pouring' maybe 'while my mother poured'?) Bloody magic and hamsters ... now I have to read another chapter. Brilliant stuff, Douglas, funny and educational to boot; I learnt all sorts in just a few chapters as well as hurting my face grinning. I'm not sure why this isn't already published, but it's going on my shelf.

Jared wrote 888 days ago

What a wonderful idea this is. Your pitches compelled me to read and Madame Coco Lafitte is a fantastic character. I loved the idea that "sometimes, magic just happens" and this story will delight a young audience, as it did me. I've absolutely loved this. Original, rather strange in places and always entertaining, this book is a delight.
Backed? Oh yes!
Jared.

Andrew W. wrote 913 days ago

A Taste of Voodoo

Hi Douglas,

This is a genius idea carried off with real aplomb and style. The opportunity for humour and wackiness simply oozes from the page, you have begun the story with exactly the right tone. What could possibly go wrong indeed? Writing for children is very tough, writing comedy for children is even harder…genius idea executed with total skill. I am in awe, deserves to go far, I wonder if Bradley will do you a front cover to go along with your brilliant pitch. Well done.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss) - all help gratefully received


Adam_Landau wrote 914 days ago

This is great! A Mary Poppins for the modern day with a voodoo twist. Awesome idea. As soon as you get into the writing it just gets better - good narration, super dialogue and laughs. This is going to be a hit - I feel it in my bones..Backed!

sherry_soule wrote 266 days ago

Effectively paced and imaginative. Thanks for sharing your story. Best of luck in your writing career.

~Sherry

http://www.sherrysoule.com

Dancing_writer wrote 414 days ago

Sorry that I commented so many times, my computer refuses to let me see that I commented and I thought it wasn't showing up.

Dancing_writer wrote 414 days ago

This is amazing! The pitch took me right to the story that took me right to the last chapter. Simply the idea of a voodoo woman- babysitting nonetheless- is just to intriguing to resist. I loved the way you left a bit of a cliff hanger at the end of each chapter. It made me click on the next chapter until I clicked on the twentieth. Backed with pleasure, Ashton

Dancing_writer wrote 414 days ago
Dancing_writer wrote 414 days ago

This is amazing. I love it! the pitch draws you in and the story keeps you intently reading along. The idea of a voodoo woman- babysitting nonetheless- is an interesting plot. The way you ended each chapter with a bit of a cliff hanger made me click on the next chapter each and every time. Backed with pleasure,
Ashton.

Dancing_writer wrote 415 days ago

I love this! Every kid immagines their baby sitter as a voodoo priestest- I know I did! Except the difference is that Coco really is. The plot took me right to the twentieth chapter. I didn't know alot about voodoo, and now my mind is completely changed. I could imagine the four children with a voodoo lady, if your book was published I'd be waititng in line for the first copy!

Dancing_writer wrote 415 days ago

I love this! Every kid immagines their baby sitter as a voodoo priestest- I know I did! Except the difference is that Coco really is. The plot took me right to the twentieth chapter. I didn't know alot about voodoo, and now my mind is completely changed. I could imagine the four children with a voodoo lady, if your book was published I'd be waititng in line for the first copy!

name falied moderation wrote 659 days ago

Dear Douglas
amazing book cover and what a long pitch....Yes i have commented and backed your book, however cannot find the backing so will do it again, because it is WORTH IT and just to make sure
the VERY best of luck
If you have not already , please comment on my book and BACK it if not that is OK also
Denise
The Letter

SammySutton wrote 663 days ago

Douglas,

Wonderful story, with great dialogue, smooth and witty.
Fun and clever. All of the characters are fabulous. I love the premise and the unexpected.
Backed!
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 689 days ago

Excellent cover art and a great pitch! Magic just happens and practicing good magic only reminds me of "Bewitched." A wonderfully warm story will appeal to all ages. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

rascal1 wrote 694 days ago

This is such a great story... I loved it! I've backed the book - a great read. I have also got you on my watchist. Thanks again for sharing your gift for writing with the world. Much love/peace -- Debra Darven

mvw888 wrote 710 days ago

Your pitch is original and irresistible, and the writing doesn't disappoint. You start right away with action and dialogue, and through this dialogue, we get to know the characters. The siblings' interactions ring true; they seem like real people. I do think that the first several paragraphs are a bit repetitive and perhaps could be tightened up to have an even greater impact. But very imaginative and well-described. Good voice for children; I think this has real commercial appeal. Great job.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

B.Lloyd wrote 731 days ago

A Taste of Voodoo
Fun idea, lots of evocative description, engaging and just enough thrills and spills without getting too scary for small bears.
Very colourful, lots of imagery : Coco Lafitte burst into our lives in an explosion of colour . . .a rainbow had somehow crashed down from the sky . . .in a pile of colourful pieces.
Holy Mackerel, that Marshall is in biiiiiiiig trouble!!! Offending the spirits by eating their cake, breaking Coco’s crystal ball .. .
‘Mais non! The pistachio ice-cream is for me ! It is my favourite!’ :D

CraigD wrote 746 days ago

Nice conversational voice; happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

dalar1 wrote 746 days ago

I love the plot and the characters. A great "fish out of water" story with a different twist. Every family needs a Coco to spice things up! Well written and fun. Good luck with it.

D.E. LaRiviere (AKA Milo Saint) Six of One

Clive Gilson wrote 763 days ago

Had a first look at opening pages and definitely has a hook and draws you in. Style and pace keeps you playing on the line. Will read some more as time allows (as ever here) and let you know how what I think.

Clive
Cincinnati Dancing Pig

Ariom Dahl wrote 765 days ago

I'm enjoying the first chapter of this, although I am far from being a YA reader. However, I am coming back to read the rest of it.

Andrew Burans wrote 770 days ago

Your writing style and storyline will capture the hearts and imaginations of your intended audience. Your use of imagery and the thoughts of young minds laced with a touch of humour makes this a great read. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 773 days ago

The characterization of Mr. Prentice concerning homework really is descriptive in about as few a number of words as ever written--illustrative of a gifted author's command of expression. One suggestion that may not have a solution is to widen the genre categories to entice adults to buy the book for themselves. The work is so wonderful that adults should not be excluded from reading it while the kids are away at school. Thanks for sharing. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

chuckylivesinme wrote 778 days ago

The pitch draws you right in and the rest doesnt let you down. This is a fascinating read, nice idea, very well written.

Backed 100%
Clair
Left Behind

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 778 days ago

You portray tension immediately in the first paragraph & your descriptive powers are perfect. You are obviously an observant person away from your book, as this family conversation and the interaction between the family members really could have taken place. This carefully written book is certainly deserving of a backing - I am sure it will do well. Best wishes, Paula & Patrick - How Mean is My Valley?

Lara wrote 779 days ago

The family conversation is well done, believable. It's a nice touch, and contemporary, having the children make more protective and sensible comments than their parents.

Thanks so much for backing Good for Him, I'm getting so surprised at this 0 unexpected people backing it.

Appreciations

Rosalind

Panaxus wrote 785 days ago

So THAT'S what voodoo priestesses are like? Good writing for the age group indicated ... No negatives ... Backed!

Stephan Zimmermann (panaxus)
NO RAPTURE

Susan Bennett wrote 786 days ago

I think your pitch is absolutely wonderful. I'd pick this up for a second look in a bookstore, because it promises something different.

If this were my work, I'd think about the tags, or attributions, as they tend to be superfluous and detract from the dialogue. An example: "She's not a voodoo priestess," my mother insisted. Through the emphasis on the 'not' and the words themself, we already know she's insisting without being told. This was the advice given to me by the editor who edited my first book, and when I followed it, my work was much stronger for it, because the dialogue zips along without distraction. Good luck with your book and all the best.

Bookster wrote 790 days ago

Zombies are us! What a great imagination and what a great story. I can't find a single thing to comment on in a negative way. This book should be in Barnes & Noble.
Eric Wilder - Prairie Sunset

Burgio wrote 792 days ago

This is a great young adult novel. It has magic to appeal to the Harry Potter crowd - but at the end, a moral that nothing really replaces hard work. Liked your dialogue; nice contrast between the Voodoo Priestess and the kids. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

A Knight wrote 799 days ago

Anwonderful, sensory experience, this book has left me intrigued. You show a perfect glimpse of family life, both with the love of parents and the antagonism between siblings, all with a dash of humour and mystery.

Wonderful work that I'm backing with pleasure.

Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules were made to be broken. " - Relic

Billiegirl wrote 802 days ago

Fabulous story, endearing characters, I truly enjoyed this!

hkraak wrote 803 days ago

A TASTE OF VOODOO: Delightful! I think that your book should begin with chapter 3. It's opening line is great: Coco LaFitte burst into our lives in an explosion of color. Brilliant. I want to know who this person with the cool name is and why she explodes in color. Although the first two chapters are good, you could easily put the information from them into later places. The end of the chapter (hearing Kendra scream) also makes me want to turn the page and keep going. Just a thought.... Well-done!

HJ
Pearl Edda

Cas P wrote 804 days ago

Hi Douglas,

This makes great reading, it's entertaining, well written and fun. The pitch works well, striking just the right note, and I really liked the way you start the book off. Corey's 'voice' sounds just right, except for one small detail, noted below. I can't imagine anyone not enjoying this book.

I made one or two notes as I read:
Watch a tendency to overuse the word 'that'. Example - each time that Marshall insisted that.... You don't actually need either of these 'that's.
You also tend to overuse dialogue tags. Cut them when it's obvious who is speaking.
I noticed some repetition, such as reiterating who's going to look after the kids, and also about Marshall getting into trouble.
My father...my mother... Sometimes you could do with using a pronoun.
I'd also cut quite a few of the excalmation marks.
In ch 2, Corey uses the phrase 'no-nonsense'. Would a 12 year old boy use such a phrase?

Nits aside, I really liked this and am happy to back it.
All the best,
Cas.
KING'S ENVOY.

snave wrote 807 days ago

Brilliant opening from what I have just read - thanks for backing and will return this when I have read a little more - I love what I have seen - Andy - When Spirits Break Free

jfredlee wrote 808 days ago

Douglas -

Your delightful book had me right from the pitch.

Everyone in the book is so maddeningly and refreshingly human (there I go using too many adverbs again).

I'm more than happy to back A TASTE OF VOODOO and wish you the best of luck with it.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

Ransom Heart wrote 808 days ago

Good pitch. Copy-editing is the main thing you'll tussle with, because the premise is sound. A suggestion: Start the book with the father asking what could go wrong and leave out the first couple of sentences. Try to embed as much clarity in as few words as possible. This will improve the comic timing. Also, try to eliminate cliches like references to eyes that "sparkle with delight."
Good luck with this charming book!
Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Ransom Heart wrote 808 days ago

Good pitch. Copy-editing is the main thing you'll tussle with, because the premise is sound. A suggestion: Start the book with the father asking what could go wrong and leave out the first couple of sentences. Try to embed as much clarity in as few words as possible. This will improve the comic timing. Also, try to eliminate cliches like references to eyes that "sparkle with delight."
Good luck with this charming book!
Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Dena Gray wrote 809 days ago

Oh this is just adorable!

CarolinaAl wrote 810 days ago

You write very well. Coco is colorful and likable. Your secondary characters are feisty and engaging. Your witty dialogue and vivid descriptions are effective. Your humor is laugh out loud funny and fresh. Excellent, original storyline. A well-written comedy. Backed.

Margaret Anthony wrote 811 days ago

An enticing pitch makes a good start for this story. Haiti is in the news for all the wrong reasons at the moment but a touch of voodoo makes for an intriguing thought for a child's enquiring mind.
The narrative and dialogue are 'young person friendly' and a solid family is reassuring. Nice snippets of humour too and anyone called Coco LaFitte is quirky and fun before you begin.
A well written and enjoyable read which I'm happy to back. Margaret.

Mark Eyre wrote 812 days ago

Douglas,
A great pitch and opening chapter. I can already see Whoopi Goldberg in the starring role as Coco LaFitte! The rivalry between the four kids and the parents is great, and I can see this going down well with your intended readers. Backed with pleasure!
Mark (Stand up and live!)

Kop wrote 813 days ago

Thanks for backing The Lucky Bean Tree. I've been enjoying your chef and look forward to reading some more. Backed. Kop.

kiwiwriter67 wrote 813 days ago

Cousin Coco is certainly a colourful character.! I thought your book is fast paced and lots of fun - I'm sure it would be very popular with younger readers. I felt the writing became stronger as it went on - as I found myself more engrossed in later chapters.
Great job.
Jo

Jeffrey Getzin wrote 813 days ago

Hi, it seems an intriguing start, although I think the writing could use a once-over to tighten up the prose. Nothing major, but it just seems a little "loose" to me, and with a fair amount of showing-instead-of-telling. That said, I understand that I'm not your target audience, so you should take my critique with a grain of salt.

Craig Bassett wrote 813 days ago

Douglas,

I like your type of writing style, almost conversational, which moves along at a quick pace. It does have a theatrical feel to it, something that leaves me with loads of anticipation for upcoming jokes and quirky plots twists. I think you are going to have a loyal audience for this book, which isn't too far from the editor's desk. Good Luck....backed
Craig (Painted Lives)

William Holt wrote 814 days ago

This is certainly a different take on the Mary Poppins sort of scenario. Told in the voice of an engaging twelve year old, it is beautifully written (I didn't see a nit to pick, and I usually find several to message the author about), nicely plotted, and comical enough to entertain not only its target audience but the codgers and beldames among us as well.

Shelved in a moment, to be enjoyed at leisure.

Bill (Faust's Butterfly)

lizjrnm wrote 815 days ago

This is an adorable read! I just sat here with my eleven year old son (we have a snow day today) and read it out load and he is still reading it now on his own! Couldn't get a better endorsement than that! Backed!

Dan Hardy wrote 817 days ago

I love this pitch and the perspective of the 12 yr narrator is really enjoyable. I can see a really great fun ride ready to unfold here. i think this will strike a chord with many young people and family friendly readerships. Best of luck with this fun loving tale.

Katfather wrote 817 days ago

I've barely read this, but even in this short of time, I love it. I love this type of humor (waiting for the other shoe to drop) and the 2 others ( "' oh that's nice..Huh? Wait a minute!!'' and the Gilbert and Sullivan ''You may think we are crazy and funny, but I assure you, sir, we are all totally serious!!'') It takes a great writer to write this way, a master. Hello Master...

pinkcoffee wrote 818 days ago

Fantastic start to your book... loved it! I wish you the best of luck kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment'

Euphemus wrote 818 days ago

Douglas, It's a great story.It's unique and well told, and it's a page turner. I read 5 chapters before realising it.
The priestess is a great character.
I think characterising each nof the children gradually would be good. Let us understand them all a bit better.
My only critiscm is that you use "all four of us children were huddled..." All four of us children realized.." very close together in the first chapter. Need to change one!
I love it and will back it.
David (Flawless Murder)

cbearly wrote 819 days ago

Douglas:

A Taste of Voodoo, is one of the most original stories I have come across on Authonomy. It is also very witty and a page-turner. I can easily see this doing well with Y/A readers.

Backed with the best of luck,

Candace Bowen Early (A Knight of Silence)

Michael Stone wrote 821 days ago

Okay, kid's lit isn't my preference, but it seems like a good story so I'll give it a quick spin on my shelf. Good luck!