Terry Trackhoe Goes Missing

Hi Mary,

I teach 3rd grade, and I think my kids would really enjoy this story. Sure, not all of them are on grade level and could read it to themselves, but whether self-read or read-to, they would enjoy it and recognize the lessons being taught.
Consider it backed, and I'd love to hear what you think of MY book...

John Pearson
Learn Me Good

The personification of diggers and trucks, each having their own perspective on a building site, creates a gentle and endearing story which I can imagine lending itself very well indeed to an animation film.
The description of the smallest machine 'cozying up to Dad's thick armor,' the strongest, and then Papa's firm guidance mingling with an affectionate tolerance of Terry, makes this sound not only a harmless and entertaining book for your target reader but also one carrying simple but good values. There is even the value of cleanliness, so quaintly described when, after a hard day's digging, the machines must return to '... a good cleaning and lots of oiling and tightening of bolts'.
In Chapter 2, Mudslide, the easy readability and fluent pace of the story becomes even more evident while an undercurrent of decent values - intended or otherwise - is still pervasive, when we learn that the aptly named 'Bullydozer... rarely took such licence' with Papa, the 'strongest' machine. The implication is carried that bullies are ultimately cowards when they meet their own match. Good for children of approximately 5 - 8 [actually, good for many adults, who might have missed the point from childhood].
But there is also a delightful humour, never funny for funny's sake, yet again endearing; as we learn of the 'nuisance' pipe [I'm sure we have all heard a building site worker use infinitely ruder expressions - not suitable for your target age reader - to describe a pipe which delayed schedules !].
So we have your delightful understatement and then, even combined with compassion, as 'Mama's headlights sparked open wide and flashed with fear. After all, Terry was the smallest machine here. He was the baby.' Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Absolutely adorable! I wish this was around when my son was little because he was obsessed with big machines of all kinds and this would have been right up his alley! Talented writing and Id love to see all the illustrations so get this published soon! Shelved for your talented work.

Liz
The Cheech Room

When my son was a little boy he was obsessed with all kinds of trucks and this would have been a book he would have slept with! Adorable and well written! BACKED!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hi! I've got four kids and have done a lot of reading to them for "Night - Night." Good work!

John Wickey
Future's End

Hi Mary,

I teach 3rd grade, and I think my kids would really enjoy this story. Sure, not all of them are on grade level and could read it to themselves, but whether self-read or read-to, they would enjoy it and recognize the lessons being taught.
Consider it backed, and I'd love to hear what you think of MY book...

John Pearson
Learn Me Good

great kids story, very well crafted. my only concern would be that, using diggers and the like has been done before. that being said you have managed to bring a freshness to your story. i wish you all the best and i am sure this has a place in todays market

This is really charming - wonderful little characters and perfectly written for the junior audience. I think I will try this out on my five-year-old son tomorrow bedtime. May keep him quiet for a few minutes. I can hope. Backed. Clare (Second Lives)

Since I've been on Authonomy, I've learned to appreciate truly wonderful writing for children. Maybe it's the inner kid in me, I don't know. But what I do know is, this is a shining example of why I do. Funny characters that aren't overdone and their experiences, from which children can learn a lesson or two.
I just read chapters 1, 3, 7, 8 and 11. All well done. Maybe a tiny spelling error here or there (Mama Tackhoe instead of Mama Trackhoe) but other than that, nothing to criticize.
I sure hope you get this published. Thank you for the opportunity!

You hoo!
Just read 1 and 2 and 11 and 12. Think kids will love this, especially adding to that the little squirrels and things living among all the macinery on the construction site. Backed
Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

Little boys love diggers and my youngest son ( 4 in April) would love this! There is always room for another themed childrens story and this could go far. Backed

hi m.l. and co, I know this is supposed to be for tots, but I can see you slipping in a few hometruths for the adults,- without insulting their intelligence, I must add. The muck, the dirt, the pipes, the forks and asphalt, what a fantastic, rich background for this lovely family story which gives all the right signs and signals. This can be read with pathos and plenty of intonation and I just love the ideas and how you have developed them. From micro to macro, that's what I like about the story, and I thought it was a perfect analogy for life in general. I believe you have touched on an important point when you introduce the work ethics. To stay young you have to keep busy. Well perceived and carried out with love and diligence. Backed with pleasure.

My grandson absolutely adored diggers of all types when he was younger. He would have loved this. They would also both love the mud that is flying around - what little boy wouldn't. I will have to go and have a look at your images. Popping this on the shelf - Cheers - Diane (3 things that might have happened)

Hi again Mary. Well I don't know anything about children's fiction, but this seems to fill the bill. A unique idea and seems well done. Of course, as always, taking place in Florida it's already halfway there with me. Have no idea how to crit a book like this so I'll take it on faith (having read Luminality) that you know what you're doing...haha.
Backed.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Okay, you got me. I really enjoyed this and I am especially keen on the subject matter and getting this kind of story in the hands of young readers. There were a few places where I felt the language MIGHT be a bit over the heads of the audience, but that said, I'm the first to say that we should never underestimate young readers!

Lockjaw

I read some of this last night to my five year old. Two thumbs up!

The personification of diggers and trucks, each having their own perspective on a building site, creates a gentle and endearing story which I can imagine lending itself very well indeed to an animation film.
The description of the smallest machine 'cozying up to Dad's thick armor,' the strongest, and then Papa's firm guidance mingling with an affectionate tolerance of Terry, makes this sound not only a harmless and entertaining book for your target reader but also one carrying simple but good values. There is even the value of cleanliness, so quaintly described when, after a hard day's digging, the machines must return to '... a good cleaning and lots of oiling and tightening of bolts'.
In Chapter 2, Mudslide, the easy readability and fluent pace of the story becomes even more evident while an undercurrent of decent values - intended or otherwise - is still pervasive, when we learn that the aptly named 'Bullydozer... rarely took such licence' with Papa, the 'strongest' machine. The implication is carried that bullies are ultimately cowards when they meet their own match. Good for children of approximately 5 - 8 [actually, good for many adults, who might have missed the point from childhood].
But there is also a delightful humour, never funny for funny's sake, yet again endearing; as we learn of the 'nuisance' pipe [I'm sure we have all heard a building site worker use infinitely ruder expressions - not suitable for your target age reader - to describe a pipe which delayed schedules !].
So we have your delightful understatement and then, even combined with compassion, as 'Mama's headlights sparked open wide and flashed with fear. After all, Terry was the smallest machine here. He was the baby.' Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

This is wonderful. I did post a comment, but it didn't take. If I was four, I want to her this over and over again. I'd want to know all of hte words if the glossary.
So full of imagination. A child will never look at a front end loaded in the same way again.
I can hear kid laugh at splat.
This book will be read for years and generations to come.

If I was four I'd read this over and over and over again. I'd go over the glossary until I know it all. What a brilliant story and so fun to read. It is perfect for the age group.
I like the info at the end about wate treatment.
Any child that has this read to him/her or has it read to him/her will look at front end loaders in a whole new way. So clearly and well written.
I can hear kids yelling with laughter at the splat.

This is so adorable. I can see small boys getting a kick out of this particular book. I could also see a child-centered short film on your book. On my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

A competitor for Scoop, Muck, Dizzy, Roly and Lofty... but for a slightly older age range. Very readable and perfectly suited to your target market. This has real commercial potential.
Frank

Great idea for a story, well written, charming and appealing to the age range. Backed. rob

Hi M L and C L, Often I could see the bulldozers twirling and moving. Also, I liked the settings and the tellings about their work. Most of it was written so that young readers can follow - and it's a fun way of informing.
My thoughts are that there could be more dialogue because of consecutive paragraphs of narration. Such as when Bully "he laughed and heckled" and then when the explanation about the reclaimed water came in, "That's another story" - that character might tell the story of the reclaimed water.
Boys liking machines like this and your telling through character makes for amusement. Like the illustrations! The backgrounds are realistic while giving expression to the bulldozer action. Good detail! Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

A simple, feel-good little story that will appeal to a lot of little boys out there (and maybe girls too?)
You've created accessible characters that will resonate with children and the issues they have to face will make sense to them too. The glossary at the back os also a very good idea.
Backed.

M&J

Mary, you achieve what you describe in the pitch.I think children would find this a great adventure. And they seem so concerned about environmental issues, they'd take extra pleasure in a story that involves them. I remember I loved stories about machinery, though I've forgotten why. A perfect vehicle,if you'll pardon the pun, for including learning. An excellent children'sbook.Shelved. Lynn

Hi Mary,


Laughing here at your concept. It comes across well. I am a softy for children. If I walk into a room with adults sitting on chairs and children playing on the floor, I ignore the adults and flop down with the children. Then we have the greatest fun with fantasies, discussing philosophy and all sorts of things.

No moans and groans from me. Your synopsis started me grinning. Wondered about 'veritable', but then much admiration for your attention to any words our little angels might find difficult.

I only read your first two chapters and enjoyed of the easy-to-read, quick-flowing, light style. I don't think your target market can complain that the action is not fast enough.

On my shelf. But that ain't gonna get you published. Lots of children's publishers both in UK and USA. So hope you are submitting. I used www.agentquery.com to focus on children's agents (because I wrote about children and I thought I might get empathy). I filtered out exclusively-children's agents. Three asked for partials, Betsy Amster of Betsy Amster in LA, Dena Fischer of Manus in Palo Alto and Jennifer Weltz of Jean V Nagar in NY.

My fault that they didn't buy, but their requests for partials meant Fig Tree is not too bad. The version here, by the way is obsolete. I rewrote for the fifth time.

Nipping straws right now, because a London agent has it on an exclusve basis and if they jilt me, I'll have to start submitting again. Many exclusively-children's agents in UK. Bad for me but good for you.

Thanks for your comment on Zambezi. I need to rewrite the opening. More protagonist driven.

Many thanks. Have fun.


Pierre.

This is an amusing book which I think its target audience would love. All little boys, and quite a few little girls, too, love books about this sort of work machinery. Bob The Builder, for instance, has had great success. Terry Trackhoe is a sweet, really likable hero, Bully the bulldozer is a villain who ends up as a good guy after all, and Lazy Larry is the real villain, committing the environmental crimes of a) smoking and b) setting the forest on fire with his cigarette. Excellent story line, great characters, and a lovely moral. What could be better? (I wish you had let Larry out because you made it that he was really sorry and, after all it was Christmas, wasn't it? But that's your decision.) I would expect this book to do well. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

hey there folks how's life ?
For some reason Authonomy wont let me see ANY books.
So I-ll comment tomorrow///shelved...looks great

terry Trackhoe Goes Missing:

Backed for my grandchildren. :o)

But the illustrations page wouldn't open. Will try it again, though.

cáit ~ Muckers ~

Mary asked me to take a look.

A book graps me if there is a feel to the story, and immediately i got it. LIke watching it on kid's tv.... cinematically.

I think it a noble thing to foster a child's imagination. If one weaves moralistic stories within them we can be done with religion.

Stories are the old ways.

I liked terry trackhoe alot.... glad i sought it out.....
i grew up with Ivor the Engine, and look how well i turned out....

I think children will absolutely love this. I've enjoyed reading it and adore the names you have used - Stanley Steamroller, Bullydozer, Willie Water Truck. I wish I had grandchildren I could read it to. Shelved with pleasure. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

SWEET Read for the little ones.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

Shelved for the the little ones.

I started reading this book and loved it immediately. Terry is so cute, I loved the way he lifted his little arm and tiny bucket, adorable, this book will appeal to any child, I can see my 8 year old nephew with this head in it. Absolutely brilliant, charming writing, excellent being inside the head of machinery! Shelved already.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

My Grandson would love this. He's obsessed with plant and building sites. I suppose that figures since his dad owns a building company.
Happy to give this a spin for Bailey.
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George

ML & CL
This is a charming premise, perfect for the target reader. From the slap of mud in the opening to the ‘Last Day’ I was hooked in by such great imagination and the tempo set by very accessible writing and short chapters. Bravo!
I wish you heartfelt good luck with this and can’t resist saying that I think this would make a great animation. But Pixel or Aardman? Computer or clay, hmm…
Shelved with my very best wishes
David
Green Ore

What fun! Wonderful names, too. Mud, machines, more mud .... backed!

I love this. It is easy and has a central theme that will resenate with children.
It starts off with a charismatic leap and is strong right through.
I love that you have given feeling to vehicles.
Such a gem and with a little more ploishing it will really shine!
You write with such ease, which is great when writing for children.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Because of the Thanksgiving holiday here in the States, I am pressed for time today, so I am gonna SHELVE you for now and swing by later to comment.

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

I believe this is an easy to read story that should appeal to young children (particularly boys) that have construction equipment toys of their own. Backed.

ML and CL,
Wow, you have a great children's story here. Boys love heavy construction equipment toys and you make them all come to life. I teach children's stories in my creative writing class and always enjoy what my students come up with. Yours is the kind I would buy in the store. The writing is excellent, just needs a word trim here and there. I thought it was missing the main ingredient to all great stories, TROUBLE, but found it at chapter 6. I would add a dramatic hook at the end of that chapter, something to make the reader turn the page like:
Suddenly all went quiet. Terry blinked his headlights and looked around. He was all alone.
Love the way you interject lessons about conversation, every good children's story should teach a lesson.
This is a fun read, I read some to my grandson and he was mesmerized.
Good luck with your book.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Terry Trackhoe Goes Missing
Pitch: this line is so much more fun;
“Terry Trackhoe is the smallest machine on the construction site and he makes mischief with mud. After Lazy Larry forgets to tie him down to a trailer…”
Love the idea of the dark Florida forest. Great names for characters. Just read that the story if for children, which might negate my previous comment, ho, ho.
Yes, it is written in free-flowing enjoyable style. Great fun and just the thing to help chug us along!

What a delight! I would see this in the newsfeed, but I had no idea it was for kids! I can easily imagine reading this aloud to wee ones--and having a blast with all the voices and noises the reader's got to make. Too much fun! Shelved. :-)

Hi,
This is an utterly delightful story (and not just for kids!!!). I really enjoyed it and would love the chance to see it in a book store and recomend it to other parents. It is not easy to write for children, I do not think I would like to give it a go, but you have pulled it off brilliantly - shelved for sure.
Good luck,
James (The Lycetta Legacy).

Great children's fiction, and I really enjoyed it too! Good luck with it!
Simon

Terry Trackhoe Goes Missing

Hi ML and CL,

A bold attempt to engage boys in reading and the whole book experience. Inanimate objects with characters and alliterative names are things we are often advised against. I think the subject matter would work for younger children and the writing is precise and concise for this audience. The characters are charming, engaging. Not sure if Bob the Builder has reached where you are in the world but it is a cartoon series that has been running in the UK for a few years now and there are quite a lot of similarities between your story and Bob The Builder and his machines, not necessarily a problem as yours is clearly meant for the American market. I guess Bob the Builder hasn't reached the States otherwise Barack Obama wouldn't have used the Yes We Can catchphrase during his campaign, because in the UK we know that before the Yes We Can answer comes the shout from Bob the Builder: Can we fix it?

You tube link to theme tune for you to see what I mean: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA16sqCusbY

Bob the Builder's success in the UK means there is certainly a market for this type of thing, best of luck

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Hello there, glad to get around to Terry Trackhoe - it's a tricky prospect having a go at children's writing; am considering having a pop at it for my next project. This was charming, and I liked the way we could visualise a toy at the same time as having a sense of the massive Papa truck, too - any laddie who played with a Tonka truck will appreciate the coolness of this! What I'm most intrigued by is the inclusion of the waste water essay, too - very unusual-seeming in books for younger ones (I may be wrong about that, but this is how it seems to me) and a very bold move.

Excellent work

Pat Black
Snarl

ML & CL

swiveled 'typo' swivelled...... round about.......easier to say.....swivelled around.....

They all needed, They all wanted....They wanted......(repetitive)......

When you're writing in the childrens genre, your work has to be grammatically perfectico,,, because you take on the mantle of teacher....There is a website......www.fictionfeedback.com They edited my first 3 chapters, I was then able to pick up where they left off....It was the best thing I ever did...

I read chapters one and two......I especially noticed the terminology used was kept within the range of understanding of the young reader.....Sometimes authors slide into their own voice....ie.... turbulance, consequentially, etc..... the child loses concentration....I saw no evidence of this.....

I enjoyed this and wish you well.... shelved

Terry Trackhoe Goes Missing-

This is delightful, especially when I picture the illustrations that would go along with it. You've drawn you characters nicely, giving a different personality to each piece of equipment and saving the cute little Bobcat for your MC. Just delightful.

Maybe take a look at the first paragraph of description in your ch1. It might go on a line or two too long in describing Papa.

I can see this going along the same route as Thomas the Tank Engine and Bob the Builder. Good job. -Brad (Larcenous Tendencies I & II)

This is well written, and as a story to be read aloud to children I think it is right on the mark. I wonder about children reading the book themselves at ages eight to ten-do they know what a site is for instance? I'm probably way off the mark here, I really don't know. Anyway, I think this is excellent.

G.
Einstein's Road Trip

This is delightful, Mary! A lovely change from my more "grown-up" reading.

I can imagine enjoying reading it aloud to small children. Illustrations will make it even more appealing, of course.

Shelved.

Spot on childrens fiction. Bold, bright and imaginative.

Andrew