Carry Me Away

Robb, I was most impressed with your dialogue and descriptions. Your opening strikes a mighty blow—intense. I found the plot interesting and characters compelling. There is a rhythm in the writing that adds to the already good pace--its sets the tone for the remainder of the book.
Best wishes
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Hey, Robb -

Glad I finally got a chance to read a large chunk of this, and what I read I really enjoyed.

I like your writing style and your voice; reminds me of Holden Caulfield's sense of detachment and angst, plus S. E. Hinton's outsider-ness. Your MC clearly doesn't fit in anywhere; she's a Marine brat and she's hardened to being the new geek in school. That, and the constant antagonism between her and her brother in the early chapters rang so damn true.

For me, I disagree with the editor's comments. This story doesn't need any more sense of place; Carie IS her own place, and between her military family's regularly being uprooted, her brother's death and her prospects for a greatly shortened life, where she is probably doesn't matter very much to her.

Look, your dialog rings true (nobody swears more than a teenager trying to adjust that chip on their shoulder; it makes them look sooo grown up and independent - at least in their own eyes); and your descriptions place me right in the middle of the scene.

I also like your economy with words and wish more writers "got" it.

You've been working with the language professionally for a long time, Robb. And it shows.

Good stuff, here. And I'm happy to back Carry Me Away.

And, as long as you're up, I'd love to hear what you think of my book.

Thanks, Robb.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

I have been doing research to find out what a book needs to attain your level – Think I might give in now!! May I congratulate you on a superb piece of writing. Mmm feel a rewrite coming on

Good writing with strong characters. A likeable page turner.

Backed

Andy (Fortitude)

Great start, a well written story. it must have very bad for you that you could not remember somewhere where you lived for three years, Turkey, very dramatic and well done. backed

shah

Hi, Once you get past the amount of swearing, which to be fair is realistic, you have a very good novel. It is well written and well thought out. Carrie is a typical ' today' character and you have told her story well.
BACKED
Mark
ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

The biggest strength of this novel is the writing itself. You're descriptive without being overly so, and you give just enough for us to get the personality and defining characteristics of Carrie, without having to explain everything. Refreshing, really. I agree with some other posters on the cussing (obviously you're getting a split vote here). It seemed a little heavy, especially for a twelve-year-old, but I understand the influence an older brother can have.

I thought the car accident was a bit confusing, but I kind of liked it because of that. It gave it a surreal quality... you're not sure and she's not sure what just happened. By the end you know Danny is seriously hurt, she's imagining things, and she's seriously hurt. The bees were the most confusing part about that to me. I wasn't sure what they were really supposed to be.

Her relationship with Danny was a little strange... I wasn't quite sure whether she loved him or hated him. He wasn't a character I felt I could trust; I kept waiting for him to really hurt her, on purpose, not in a car accident.

You obviously have talent as a writer... and this story has a very intriguing premise. Good luck with it!

You write beautiful prose. I disagree with commentor who said Carrie is too young to swear the way she does. All the teenage girls I remember growing up with cussed like sailors. It's just the way this generation is. You have a very powerful story here.

You lived in Japan five years, huh? I was born in Japan. Unfortunately, left when I was two, don't remember much. heh.

You've got a captivating writing voice that makes for a very enjoyable read. I look forward to reading the rest of your novel. Carrie is stubborn, sassy and quick-witted- I really like this character! I'm not averse to cussing (actually, I love it) but I do feel that her language is a bit heavy for someone as young as her. Perhaps it is the influence of her brother... maybe you could elaborate on their relationship? Also, maybe it's just me but I find the crash scene to be a bit confusing. I sense a powerful novel here. Good luck with the tweaking and its general continuation!

Wow!
Too much cussing for my taste, but I didn't want to stop reading. You certainly know how to captivate. Well done.

Sarah

Hi Robb,
Thanks for your comments on Autumn in England, when I revise, hopefully you can cast your skilful eye over it again. I think you have a great story and your writing is flawless, devoid of any grammatical errors or mistakes. The first chapter definitely intrigued me, you have a very interesting plot and it persuaded me to read more.

Best Emma

With regard to Kimberley's comment about Carrie's inability to connect in any one place or time, this seems to create the possibility of a dilemma for the reader - if Carrie finds it hard to connect, then it might also make it more difficult for the reader to connect, both with Carrie and her situation. Just a thought, based on my own experience - I created a character who was intended to be a spectator, the point of him was that he tried not to get emotionally involved. I think I succeeded, but received many workshop comments to the effect that the reader ended up in the same situation as the character, a spectator, not emotionally involved. This effect would probably only be compounded if the writing is in the first person.

Hmmmm. Interesting comments. Not sure if I agree with the pacing thought. There is some good feedback here to draw from, but I get why the setting is sparse -- it represents Carrie's inability to connect in any one place and time.

I wish this review had been more positive... I think the book deserves it.

So, Ali was told to speed up pace by dumping descriptive diatribes and you were told the opposite.

Hi Robb,
I read all of the chapters and was just riveted by your writing for the past two nights (I have a day job). The story reminded me of Alice Sebold's poignant writing in The Lovely Bones, crossed with the passion of Lolita, with just a splash of White Oleander's tragedy, enough to make a quite sympathetic and witty, smart, sharp heroine, without overdoing the maudlin. I wish I knew what was in the missing chapters. Your characters are very vivid. I would have liked to see more development of Paul; I surmise more of him is in the missing chapters. I look forward to reading this in its entirety. You definitely push the envelope, always a good thing, but moreover, the actions and dialogue fit the characters well. You're a born storyteller. Thanks for the privilege of reading your work. Book shelf-ed!
Best,
Eve

I've only had the time to read the prologue, but it's done enough to make me want to read on. The treatment does a lot to peak my interest, and this opening has confirmed them. It hints at a lot of good stuff to come. I get the impression that 'life-affirming' will be a term I'll use in future when I read the rest!

I'm waiting to hear from HC for you :)

I've just read the first page. It's well written. I like the way you introduce the details of her life (eg the doll.) I'd cut "I'd lived a pretty full life... Death comes for me this time, I could live with that.' Maybe insert it and perhaps fill it out later, but it seems to break the flow here. Too many time slots.
Will read more as she seems interesting and I like the premise.
Sorry I suggested a book to you. I hate it when people do that to me!

Found time to read this, Robb, and enjoyed chapter 1 but the prologue didn't really feel that enticing or interesting. Too short and vague, I felt. But as soon as we got into the movmenet of Carrie and Cin-dee making friends, then I was captured and amused by their antics. I feel you got the little girl thing well, though I can only judge by British kids not US ones! But deep down they're all the same daft critters, not wanting to play, then suddenly bonding by breaking rules and daring one another. I loved the description of Cin-dee rattling around and squealing like a banshee, her waving arms and legs so like my daughter used to be!
I'll read on when I can. Lorri

Robb

Nice description in chapter 1 - lots of vivid detail
In paragraph six you slip into past tense "I didn't remember my first dozen years" It seems like it would have more effect and be more consistent by saying "I don't remember ...." Otherwise I get the implication she didn't remember then but she does now? You do this in several sentences and I'm unsure of why, but as a reader it throws me off. Not enough to keep me from reading chapter 2 though.

I just read the first seven pages or so. Good job! And good luck with your review.

I have a few comments, so here goes. Carrie doesn't come off as a nine year old. More like a thirteen year old. Or a boy. What might help you is to read a few middle grade novels with a female protagonist to get the feel of a girl's voice. Or read some adult lit with flashbacks to childhood, like To Kill a Mockingbird.

Also, I'm not sure about the structure of your first chapter. You have her moving to a new town, meeting a new friend, lying to her parents and then the accident. Usually flashback turning points are used to illustrate a point. But you have four of them in one scene. Cramming so much into one flashback dilutes the power that each one would have on its own. As a reader, I wasn't sure what to focus on.

I'm going to assume it's the accident, since that is the biggest turning point. An editor once told me that if you have something emotional happen, you need to earn it. She went on to explain that you can't just pop in an accident or a death without building up to that event. Building up doesn't mean giving background on the main character. It means giving us a reason to feel sad about the accident or death. You sort of set up the brother as a jerk, so I didn't really feel sad when he died. I thought it was sad. Do you see the difference? You want me to feel this, right? Not intellectualize it. Your pages need focus. Focus on their relationship and what makes them close. Then his death will mean something to your reader. You can weave in her moving and her new friend and the lying to illustrate different points later on.

I hope that was helpful. You're a good writer. Keep on truckin'.

Scout

Hi there,

Have only read to the end of Chapter six of your novel, but I really have enjoyed what I've read thus far. The character is engaging and likeable and the story moves at a nice pace. I also enjoyed the character's sense of humour and had one "laugh out loud" moment which rarely happens!

My only two points are minor quibbles - I found CinDee's name distracting in the text as it has the capital D in the middle. I know this gives the reader a sense of the character but I found it too distracting and would change her name. I also found the obscenities a little much coming from such a young character raised in a military household with parents who don't seem particularly vulgar. I think it's a little inconsistent.

All in all though, I enjoyed it hugely and wish you the best of luck with the Harper Collins review.

Alex.

Hi Robb
Just dropped by to see who'd got the Dec Editor's Desk.
Congrats and good luck with the HC review.
Siobhán

There's a lot of commentary on the action. That's the danger of first person, too easy to not "live the scene".

At random...."so now we shared a secret. We had violated a house rule together." I've only looked at the first two chapters and it reads like a memoire.

I don't feel the need to spend time in this young lady's company, and I'm pretty sure it's for that reason - you are not letting her react in real time, you are reminiscing about the past. Voice is not enough, we need to BE there, I think.

Good luck with that HC crit. Lots of "memoire" type stuff HAS been published.

Congrats Robb!!!! I am excited to hear what HC says about your wonderful story. I have no doubt that it will end up on store shelves someday -- you rock!

Congrats Rob! Good luck!

Congratulations! Happy New Year!

I had to have a read and I'm sure I did read this before. And, yes, it's a well written story and deserves another shelving.

I'm so sorry, Robb. I feel like I'm letting you down.

I have no tough criticism for you.

If the rest of the book is as good as the first half-dozen chapters, I don't want to get any more hooked and then be left with an authonomy cliffhanger. I'd better stop now while the addiction is weak.

*fate-tempting line deleted*

Cheers,
Z

I really like the way your portray Carrie’s father. And I love what her Grandmother always says!
Keep up the great work!
Jane

I really like the way your portray Carrie’s father. And I love what her Grandmother always says!
Keep up the great work!
Jane

Robb – Since I am languishing well down the list, I thought I would read a list-topper to see what their stuff was like. Well, yours is well worthy of its place at number one. Congratulations, it is certainly one of the best uploads I have read. To me, Carry Me Away seems ready for publication. I read all your chapters. I can’t fault them. I wouldn’t dream of suggesting alterations and, if I were you, I wouldn’t accept any. Sometimes when you read a MS, you as an old editor and me as an old sub-editor (England), will just know when we read it this is the finished article. This is.
Your writing is superb: well honed style-wise and language-wise, yet packing in the facts and comments and storyline. The whole thing flows from the prologue observation in the hospital about the wall colour right to Chapter 26 and the sex scenes, well-plotted all the way, in my view, and no jarring or puzzling diversions, as far as I could see. Even when you introduce the little vignettes of Mama Carissa and CindDee and others, they slot in neatly and effectively. The main characterisations of mother, father, brother, girlfriends, et cetera, all read authentically as 3D. Can’t fault it, mate. And won’t.
In a way, your writing is the opposite of mine. Mine is deliberately lengthy because I like it that way -- there is more brevity about your style, which makes for more pace in the story-telling, whereas I deliberately amble (or grouch) through mine. The facts and comments and asides you include are all neatly woven in to keep us reading. Which is one reason why I admire it! Truly good stuff, Robb. Professional writing. Very professional. Like I said at the beginning, it seems ready for publication to me.
Trivial correction, but in the sex scene ‘… (to) your organs.’ -- ‘to’ missing, but then I have a ‘was’missing in mine, I’m told. -- JOE CANNING

First things first. This is written with such assurance, such aplomb, that it comes across as absolutely professional. One bit confused me - end of chapter 3 ('"Yeah, I got that all that.'" - is that a colloquialism, or authentic speech?) I was coasting through the read quite happily, admiring the style, but then came the car crash in chapter 5, which was extraordinary. Not the first car crash I've read on this site, but by far the most stylised and fascinating.

Robb, you don't need me to tell you how good this is. What I need to do is to get better at reading fiction. I've read NF, and the occasional script, almost exclusively for twenty-odd years, and I've now had three weeks of reading fiction, fiction, fiction, which is odd because normally I wouldn't. I can tell quality when I see it, but I stumble over whether it's something I'd actually buy and read for pleasure.

This is excellent, and it deserves to do well.

Simon

Hi, here i am, just read the first 5 chapters. Took some notes as i read:

Chapter 1
'barf' jars to a British reader, or to this British reader anyway. Unavoidable, it's just not what we call it over here. I know what it means, of course, but i have to access my American vocabulary, hence the jar..
I've a little niggle that the narrating voice seems too old for the girl. But i don't know how long she's been lying in a hospital bed.

Chapter 2
OK, i admit i'm a tinsy bit disappointed that it's a memory not a continuation. But it means i have to read on to get to the rest, so it's an effective hooking device!
'I doubted he'd ever reach that age, whatever it might be.' - loved this line!
The narrating voice seems to fit the age better in this chapter.
'Adults could be pretty fucking stupid sometimes.' - loved this
I like the happy ending to the chapter

Chapter 4
'acquired' - chuckle
Uh oh, high and driving

Chapter 5
OK, i'm backing you just for this chapter. It's incredibly good. As in utterly horrible, but that's the idea. And very effective. At the end of the chapter it's very confused exactly what after the crash was real and what wasn't.

OK, general comments. Another piece of excellent writing, as i expected. This i extremely good, but I'm not sure in some ways i don't prefer 'Hannah's Voice'. I felt sorry for the angry, rebellious Carrie, but she is mouthy and i do prefer to read about slightly less mouthy characters. But that is her character, and it's well done and certainly entirely consistent and credible.
Oh, i was confused in Chapter 1 by something about a CinDee something. I had no idea that was a person's name, i assumed it was a brand!

Anyway, backing this, as i said, and i hope it helps keep you in the top 5!

Either the story has changed, Robb, or I have. I found this much more gripping than the first time I read it. You have combined gorgeous, vivid writing with a mesmerising plot and unique, believable characters. The emotions you drag your readers through are, at times, harrowing but only because we care so much and you put us right in there. I couldn't stop reading. This is one of the few utterly remarkable books on site, and I would buy it in an instant - shelved.

Commenting as I read. If it's just a quote, rather than a suggestion, then it's because I love it.

'does everyone's childhood turn into a shoebox of black and white Polariods' - fabulous - not sure if the remainder of the sentence is needed. 'I could see the pictures' - I saw the pictures??? 'flat grainy, pictures' - flat, grainy images. Utterly grabbed by the prologue...

Chapter 1 - watch out for the word 'little'. There are a few words like 'delicious' and 'appetite' which seem to be pushing the age of 9. 'giant man-hugs' :o) 'They kept this kid in the cellar?' *grins* 'trying to count the blades on the ceiling fan'. 'We had violated house rules together'.

Chapter 2 - 'the next one slid out without resistance'. 'His wife?'

Chapter 4 - 'ditches gargling with rain runoff'. 'The rain cut' - you use 'cut' in the previous sentence. 'raindrops shove each other across the window'. 'Like a hamster wheel'. Awesome writing - the accident.

Chapter 6 - 'he broke his baby sis'. You made me cry.

Chapter 7 - 'sunshine toasting my face golden brown'. 'blood washes out easier than oil'. 'taste the bitter absence'. 'home is never where you left it'.

Chapter 8 - 'I loved (her?) and would see her soon'.

Chapter 9 - 'rattlesnake accidentally biting his own lip'. 'His voice beamed'.

Chapter 10 - 'You swapped spit with a jock'. 'just to keep that tingle going'.

Chapter 11 - "I am left".

Chapter 14 - 'kiss until our lips bled'. Really enjoying the crush on Paul.

Chapter 15 - 'How's Lilith'. 'ten-minute description of the sixty-second sexual encounter'.

Chapter 16 - 'I was glad Cin has a best friend when I'm not around' - the change in tense stopped me there for a moment.

Chapter 17 - 'Was there a monster between our two houses eating everyone'. You made me cry again.

Chapter 19 - 'anticipation escape with the steam'.

Chapter 20 - 'the heat pressing against my face'. 'that's what I would have looked like'.

Didn't read the final chapter as I guess that is the ending, and I'd prefer to read it all when it's published.

I've only managed to read the first chapter of this so far, but it's intrigued me, and I will try and read the rest.

I loved the opening, it caught me and made me want to keep reading, it wasn't 'in your face' but made me want to know more about this character, which for me is essential as I love character driven plots.

Your style of writing is lovely, very smooth and easy to read. I found some of the grammar a tiny bit 'off' but I think that was more the 'voice' of the character as opposed to anything else.

Definitely something I am going to have to find the time to finish reading!

Robb, your story is well written, and engaging. I started to reading with possibility of commenting with something useful. Instead, I found myself studying your prose :-)

Hi Robb,

I made it through chapter 11 today, and I have to stop now not because I want to, but because it's bedtime. I've really enjoyed what I've read so far. I will be back for the rest later. Right now, I can't think of any criticisms to give. I like everything just the way it is so far. Sorry I can't be more helpful in that area. You're going on my shelf.

-Nik

Robb,
I read 3 chapters and I like it; not sure where it's going yet so will have to continue later. But for now, the only problem I have is that you are a man writing the thoughts and words of a woman (girl); what made you decide to make Carrie female? I think with all the curse words falling from the lips of a child it would have been easier for me to take from a boy. My son was the same age in 1990. Guess I'm just old-fashioned. Nice job though.

I have already backed it a few days ago. Now that I have read all posted chapters, I'd like to say a few words. Really few. Because there is not much to say, or maybe because I'm not very good at giving praise. I like it. I like it a lot. Only two suggestions.

One: I wish you didn't spell out the grunts in the first sex scene. I always voice every word out in my head when I'm reading, and those consonants freaked me out with an inappropriately comic effect. Indirect speech would have worked better, in my opinion.

Two: In the Oba Hana scene, at times her words (assumed to be translated by Carrie's mother) appear outside of direct speech, in a real first person POV. At other times, they appear inside direct speech attributed to her. And at other times, they appear in direct speech attributed to Carrie's mom. Confusing. Not in the sense of not being able to get it, but in the sense of why make the reader stop, go back, and puzzle things out? That breaks the flow of the story. Be consistent.

Consider my mind blown. I can definitely see why you made it to the editor's desk. This must be published. I'll feel cheated if it's not. Great writing, originality of idea, etc. I haven't gotten a chance to read much of this yet, but I will definitely come back. I can't wait to see what the Harper editor says. I really hope you decide to share it.

Just wondering: when your character is thinking to herself, why not italicize instead of underlining? Good writing. Will give it more of a thorough read when the holidays are over.

What a great piece of writing! Shelved. Not much more to say about it.

I planned to read five chapters, Robb, but of course I couldn't possibly stop at the end of Chapter 5. I've just finished Chapter 10.

This is powerful stuff. Carrie grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go. She has a wonderful voice, very individual and very convincing. I'll admit I did have trouble with her foul mouth, but either I got used to it or she toned it down a bit (I think perhaps she did after Danny died). She's a strange mix - for all she says she became an adult on that day, there *is* a child in there, it seems to be. It strikes me as a tragic version of the little girl dressing up in adult clothes to look like a grown-up; for Carrie it's not a game, it's a way of grabbing something meaningful out of what's left of her life.

Shelved, of course.

Hi Robb,
I just started reading your book, and I must say I'm hooked. The person in the prologue seems so broken underneath, I caught myself wishing she had both the strength to fight, and quiet peace to rest. The person in the first chapter is so far removed from the one in the prologue, I know I'm in for quite a journey. I will obviously keep reading - talk to you again soon!

Robb,

You should get my vote simply by virtue of having "What is the What" listed in your favorites: it's one of my favorites as well. But that would not be fair. Instead, let's base it on the merit of your writing. You have nearly 400 comments, and even without reading a single one of them, I don't know that I'll have anything meaningful to add. But let me say this: the prologue reads as an autobiographical obituary. A foreshadow of things to come. The accident and its aftermath -- all wonderfully written. It truly bridges that space between the conscious and unconscious after a traumatic injury. It really rang true for me: last year I lost consciousness on a visit to the ER, and the demons attacked. As I came to, I was yelling, not at my doctors, but the wicked things in my momentary coma. And Chapter Seven ... heartbreaking. It's all very well done. And I wish you all the best with it.

Cheers,
Jason

Hmmm,

Well I read one and two and could find nothing to comment on except how totally readable and engaging this is. Its mature and the voice is great and she's totally beievable and engaging. Its deftly written and flows beautifully. And you've heard all of that before, judging by other readers comments. Its very, very good. Most of the stuff on this site is stuff I have to 'bend my head' a bit to get into the target market mindset. With this, I didn't, its sch (good) general fiction the market for it must be very wide (and includes me).

So then I thought, 'OK, he's probably worked on the first few chapters until they sparkle - go further in. I went to chapter 10 - the same quality. Then to chapter 20 - the same quality.

So apart from sounding a little gushing with praise I'm sorry I can be of no help to you, simply because you don't need help - you just need a deal.

I'll shelve it. Maybe that counts!

Best of British luck, (very excted for you)

Julie

Okay, I finally wiped away the tears and finished reading all the chapters you have here. After a couple of minor sniffle attacks, I find I am still of the same opinion - Carry/Carrie is awesome!

My biggest complaint is that you don't have the whole thing up here (which, given how many books are sucking me in on this site at the moment, is probably a god thing), but I'd love to read more. Especially because I'd love to put those last two chapters in their proper perspective. Any chance of seeing any more on site any time in the future?

I do have some edits and such, but I know you mentioned in the forum that you haven't made any changes yet, so I'm not going to repeat what others have possibly already pointed out. The only thing I would point out is that your use of underlining was distracting to me - my brain kept expecting to see italics for some reason, so the underline caused my brain to protest, which pulled me out of the story briefly whilst I argued with it and told it to mind it's own business and to stop distracting me. Other than that, I can't wait to see more!

Shelved a second time, even if it's in spirit only (and never left my shelf to begin with! *grin*

~Traci

I've read your pro- and Chp one. Here's the problem I'm having. First, I love short first chapters, as long as everything is there to tell me enough about the characters I will spend time with. Yours is brief (a good thing), but maybe a little too brief. The only thing missing in the material I've read is the 'why' - that is, why should I keep reading about this little girl's life? (Yes she's had an accident, yes, she thinks she's going to die and overcomes it- but look at your pitch: isn't the 'beef' located in what ultimately happens to her? Maybe in the prologue, or chapter one, you could give the reader some hint, some glimmer about what she has done to break through the 'wall she has built' and come to terms with her future, OR give us a hint as to what she thinks is 'most important in life.'
Or, like the book above you in the ranks (Song), you could develope a central metaphor we can hang our hats on to carry us through- to make us want to read more.

Some suggestions with Carrie's language; if she is going to swear like a sailor, then maybe she should be one? Your use of 'stupid' seems more credible in this young woman's mouth, whereas 'fuck, fucking, and shit' are powerful words that ought to be used more judiciously, IMO. (In my work, I use it only once in the entire book in order to say something very powerful, and since I use it only once, the reader walks away remembering the only thing 'fuck' was used in conjunction with). You could create the same sort of 'I know better than the dumb adults around me' attitude, with language more befitting Carrie- UNLESS- as I read further I find that her parents, siblings, and all her childhood friends swear and curse, because otherwise where would she have picked it up? Here's the crux of the problem for me: it sounds like your voice, and not her's. Is that what you intend?

I'm putting you on my watchlist, mainly because of your ranking on the site (I do believe as a nu-comer here, I owe it to those of you who have made the editor's list , and to those that have voted you there, to honestly read, and feedback on your work.) I also think you could have a story here, and to be fair, I need to give it due attention and read further. As I do, I will try to comment back to you. (I know- I'm not a 'gusher,' about this-but I assume by your profile that you'd be more akin to some honest feedback than most.)

Here's the deal- I'd like to put this on my 'shelf',' (notwithstanding the fact that you don't need my vote at this time on the list- you're already there) but I need something I can sink my teeth into first. I'm hoping to read such in the next few chapters--it sounds from some of the comments that others have found what I'm looking for there. If' its there, I will put your book on my shelf- which is what I truly would like to do.

Uncluttered and lucid, the prologue and first chapter of this work quite beautifully. The prologue drops its hints with deceptive ease whilst chapter one draws aside the curtain on Carrie's childhood with a natural, utterly believable narrative voice.

Carries initial resistance is captured perfectly. I can't fault it (and, believe me, I've tried.)

I know you don't need it but it's going on my bookshelf anyway.