Dark Matter

Dear S.W., I love the galaxy travel, like Star Trek - you bring it all to life again. :) Your Cornell University letter was an added plus to your story. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

This is a good story. I attended a conference at Cornell once so I felt right at home on Marc's campus. He's a good character: likable and certainly sympathetic because he's in the middle of finishing his degree but has been stopped short. I like the way you put a "ticking clock" on this - thirty days to complete his thesis. It really raises the story's tension about ten fold. Makes this a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Wow! I've never been keen on Science Fiction (apart from Terry Prachett, not quite the same thing) before coming on this site. So far, I've read some okay stuff, but now, suddenly, I'm converted. This is a first rate book. I've read everything you have up, and really want to read on. Your story is grounded in reality. Marc and Cheryl are real people, and reading about them, as well as your other characters, is an exciting, enjoyable experience. But on top of that, when you get Marc talking about his ideas, you manage to make them easy to understand, clear, logical and believable. I loved 'listening' to him, and the interaction with Cheryl, her attitude, just made the ideas more riveting. The pitch tells us how you develop your plot, which has hardly started yet, the disappearance of the watch being the very early stage of something working. This is gripping, exciting, and enormously compelling. If this isn't published (and your skillful writing says it's ready for that now, without changes) then there's no justice. Backed, without a shadow of a doubt.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Hi SW,
I was brought upon SF and this is excellent. Beautifully written and compelling - shelved

The only thing I spotted were you using "..." for words being thought by Marc. I would advise single marks or italics for sentences thought but not spoken.

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Hi S.W. A very enjoyable read here, with well developing characters. Personally i'd edit out quite a bit all through tyhe five pages posted to help the pace along, but perhaps that's just me. Best wishes, Scott.

Never really developed a taste for sci-fi. I guess I always thought it was hokey.
That said, I didn't find that within this book. I thought it was well written and with an intellectual edge that made it different from most space agey books.
The dialogue was keen. THe characters well fleshed out.
My only nit is that you start the novel with teh MC's whole name. This has always bugged me and a lot of people do it. Really a minor thing which really is only personal preference.
Good job with this.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

I want to say, now that I have finished the book in its entirety, that all should buy this book somewhere. Do it. You'll be happy you did.


-one note, as Brian pointed out, spell out those small numbers in your next novel!!!

Your ideas are terrific. And the scientific theories are interesting. Remember though, this isn't a research paper. When Marc is blowing his shot with the girl by boring her, that's not exactly fun for the reader either. Just because there's solid theory behind a story, that doesn't mean you need to explain it all at once. See how Robert J. Sawyer does it in his Hominids. The characters need to come before the science.

I suggest that you open with chapter 2. His reaction to the suspension letter is a good way to get the reader into the book. Have him get the rejected first (you don't need to reprint the letter) and then have him get in a heated argument with his professor about his theories. Have him mention his accomplishments and why they should trust him. I'd like to see more emotion out of Marc.

And don't forget to spell out small numbers.

Keep working at it. You'll get there.

Interesting, engaging and thoroughly enjoyable book, right up my street. Good work!

Andrew

What a coincidence Mr. Ahmed. I just purchased your book. I am reading it and doing a research project on it in my fiction workshop class.

It is an excellent book. I must say that your writing skills justify the thirteen dollars I spent on it, buying it from Amazon.com.

I had some nits in your story of course. On the second page, you say Marc's head was filled with spiky brown hair. I try to picture that but all I see is a large wad of hair where his brain is supposed to be. You have used many cliches from the science fiction realm. You appear to speak your own opinion through Marc when you say "He had considered it a waste of time to read science fiction or watch movies about creatures from outer space with drooling, insect-like faces and slimy tentacles,"- But then you end up building the roxays around this image. Also, assuming that any alien has any sort of sexual dimorphism consistent with that of humans is very cliche, and you do do that. I imagined after this that you intended this, and were actually supporting the cliches.

You manage to make the book entirely fresh however. The plot is very engaging, especially as the book goes on. The Dumyan story is a jarring and sudden fantasy. It seemed somewhat thrown in for a change of pace. I didn't like Dumyan, and felt nothing for him, not like I did for Marc. HOWEVER- It works well in the context of the story, I only feel that more characterization to make him endearing would have gone a long way.

I recommend this purchase to anyone on authonomy. I am not sure if this is a self-published, or vanity published novel as Bane Science Fiction doesn't have anything more than an e-mail adress, but Ahmed's book is definately deserving of a traditional publish. You can get it on Amazon or online anywhere for a reasonable price.

Fantastic first story Mr. Ahmed.

Trying to figure out this mystery. This is good sci fi. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Your character sketching is lifelike, SW; Graham is sitting in my chair right now.

And your writing style is deceptively simple and refreshingly non-tech (so far) despite the complicated physics involved. Look forward to reading on. Backed.

Marko (Brief Encounters)

Hi S.W.

I love your book! I haven't finished reading it and can't wait to get back to it so...backed!

I wonder if you would take a look at my book "Merkabah at the centre of the universe?' More than for the backing, I was wondering if you would be willing to give me some feedback on the science postulates set out in my book? It would really mean a lot to me. Irrespective of whether you wish to back it or not.

Kind Regards
Ariel

This is my kind of sci-fi! Don't get me wrong, I love Star Trek and Star Wars, but not to read.... to watch. The reason I don't read sci-fi is because I cannot suspend my beliefs for long enough, but in your first chapter you approach the things taken for granted in the Star Trek world as not yet proven or even invented. The cynicism of Graham helps to connect those of us who do not live and breath the sci-fi world with the direction of your story. It puts it in a time and place we can understand and also makes us eager to see how they will be resolved. I'm very impressed! Shelved!

David :)

Dark Matter

Hi SW

Intriguing pitch, well written and engaging, the first chapter kicks things off in terms of conflict and intrigue for our main character. I am not sure about him waking up and it all being a dream, I wonder if you reserved the order of this chapter and started with the letter. It is a powerful dramatic moment and Mark’s anxieties explode off the page, you could wrap the argument with Graham into that. Keeping the plot shifting forwards while at the same time ensuring you fill in enough details to keep us orientated is always a difficult trick to pull off. I think you manage it here for the most part. A great yarn, based on some intriguing bits of science, the peril of losing his research post sets off the beginning of the story well. I wonder if there’s anyway of weaving in a YA tag at all, some of the later themes would seem to fit that market particularly well. Impressive beginnings, good luck and best wishes.

Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss) – all help gratefully received.

Kirkus Discoveries:
"A sci-fi debut that shows great potential."
"Quite imaginative, echoing the science fiction works of Alan Dean Foster or Keith Laumer."

Ranked 2nd on List of Top Ten Best Selling Science Fiction Books of 2008:
"More than a simple adventure story, Ahmed has managed to create a unique first novel."
(http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1074474/top_ten_best_selling_science_fiction.html?cat=38)

Listed in Best Science Fiction Books of 2009 on SalientGate
(http://www.salientgate.com/articles/best-science-fiction-books.shtml)

Listed in Top 10 Best Science Fiction Books of 2009 on Books to Believe In
(http://findabookforme.com/ScienceFiction.php)

Listed in Notable Science Fiction Books of 2009 on Fantasy Book Critic:
"A fun debut with a very diverse cast."
(http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com/2009/07/first-half-of-2009-part-2-sf-and.html)

Ranked 3rd on List of "Thrillers you just can't put down!!"
(http://www.amazon.com/Thrillers-you-just-cant-down/lm/R8LOWPEOT22W4)

Ranked 3rd on "Large Hadron Collider Fiction List"
(http://www.listsofbests.com/list/59036)

Looking forward to unravelling this mystery SW! I love a bit of sci fi and this has certainly piqued my interest! I am backing this with pleasure!
Simon